User blog:Andrew0218/Smile.Dog vs Cujo. Monstrous Rap Battles



Stephen King's rabies-crazed Saint Bernard, Cujo, goes against the infamous Internet creepypasta, Smile.Dog, to see which dog is better.

Intro
MONSTROUS RAP BATTLES!

SMILE.DOG!



VS!

CUJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJO!



BEGIN!

Cujo (0:12):
Doggone it, this pooch’s challenging me to a battle of blows.

Well, he’s ‘bout to get bit harder than that bat did my nose.

Don’t think you’re so great; you’re nothing but a spam in my email!

And I won’t be so “Saint” once I start ripping you from your head to tail!

You believe that your shaggy dog story can be compared to mine?

Crushing charts, making best-sellers, the most famous canine!

I’m rocking rabies and this mic so hard, Pasteur can’t cure this!

I’ll bite ya in the ears and take that smile off your big lips!

Smile.Dog (0:36):
So you’re here to fight me, I’ll finish you off quick, doggy style.

My chance of winning this battle is even bigger than my smile.

This crazy canine ain’t just a normal shock picture on the Internet.

Shed more blood than all your victims combined like my photo, red.

I’m spitting verbal bats, hurt you right in your nose and your heart.

Stab you right in your crossbred body with my bars so sharp.

I’m going mad in this battle, bite ya head off with my jaws.

You know you can’t win this battle, so why don’t you just smile, dawg?

Cujo (0:12):
Now, if you’re really insulting me, then you better beware,

For dehydrating disses are being delivered to your messy hair!

I’m a beloved Bernard dog, got the skills that you can’t compete!

With that fur, you look like some nasty pet they found on the streets!

Executing this pesky dog, I could do it in two stanzas,

Because Cujo screws foes with hot burns, inflame ya to ashes!

As I’ve crushed this virus, one last rhyme to finish this war,

You can’t spread; people don’t use floppy disks anymore!

Smile.Dog (1:24):
You think I’m found on the streets? Look at you, ya street rat!

Bit by a bat, snapped, became bad, then took another bite of Tad,

Well, how loyal you are trying to kill your own owner,

You’re about as useful as Donna’s Ford Pinto’s motor!

Your jaws are not biting and aren’t even good at fighting,

Now a couple of good lines are something you can’t keep On Writing.

Now spread the word that I’ve defeated this fluffy mess.

Sorry Cujo, you’ve just open yourself a can of woof-ass.

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

Poll
Who won? Smile.Dog Cujo