User blog:SophisticatedShark/Bad Battle Suggestions 5 - Shrek vs Wreck-It Ralph

Sorry for the long wait, but it's finally done. I've just been busy, had writer's block, and completely ditched writing a battle in favor of this one. So hopefully, I can start writing battles more often.



BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTOORRY!!!!

WRECK-IT RALPH

VS

SHREEEEEEEEEEEKK

BEGIN

Wreck-It Ralph Source
Once upon a time, a gaming legend came to rhyme

Against a Golly Green Giant in some godly green grime

Who’s way out of his prime, and has one too many sequels

And was almost defeated by like what, two short people?

I'm a retro Roger Rabbit, Ralph wrecks rejects as he raps

You’re raw, radioactive, face gives people heart attacks

I’ll peel your onion layers 'fore your onion breath peels me back

I'll blast your puppet, Christmas cookie, and smack-talking jackass

You may live in a swamp, but when I grab a mic, I'm nastier

Your odor got pushed aside for some pussy with a rapier

Shrek
So you want to go Turbo? Then let's push it to the pedal

Or will you wreck your chances of winning just so you can get a medal?

And you would know about little midget bastards considering

Your ass gets kicked by a guy who fixes windows for a living

Dropping beats like off your building, mate, you're gonna get shrekt

Like an FPS, you’ll get stepped like a cybernetic insect

I’m a super-slamming all-star who goes all-out in this fight

This arcade junkie beating me? I’m freaking love and freaking life

So you call me Mario cause I stomp you like you’re apeshit

Except that I don’t need four quarters for me to chop you into 8-bits

Wreck-It Ralph
Wow, you think your misfit fairy tales are gonna harm me?

I'm gonna royally school your ass, we'll call you Prince Charming

I’m dropping bombs that explode like Mentos and Diet Coke

I gave sanction to the needy, you drove them out your own home

I hit harder than the bricks that bury you and take your life

So while you go and pass some gas why not I go and pass the mic

Shrek
Please, in your DreamWorks, Ralph. I’ll make you a believer

I spit so sickly on this track that I'll give you swamp fever

You’re Sugar Rushin’ mate, too many cherries on your plate?

You give candy to little children? Lad, we call that jailbait

So run back to your glitchy bitch with faulty algorithms

I’ve seen more comprehension in a Ralph that’s named Wiggum.

Wreck-It Ralph
Shrek, I’m gonna wreck it, it’s doomsday plus Armageddon

And you say that’s jailbait? Right, like raping kids isn't a felon

So if you’re up and tryna steppin’, I'll blast ya far, far, away

I’ve heard much better verses in your Broadway play

Shrek
I’ll leave you like Calhoun’s husband, because once we are done with this

I’ll devour you like Dragon and your apartment full of munchkins

So go and watch me pull the plug on this Donkey Kong poser

This battle’s finished, but I guess in your case: it’s Game Ogre WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT

YOU DECIDE



BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTORRRYY!!! Who Won? Wreck-It Ralph Shrek