User blog:TKandMit/Freddy Krueger vs Kirby. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 4

Dreams.

Dreams is the connection.

Dreamland's Kirby battles evil demon Freddy Krueger who uses dreams to kill his victims.

This battle was written by me and only me which is surprising since pretty much every HaV nowadays has a guest. Shoutout to Wonder for reading this several times a few months ago to make sure I did a good job with Kirby's character.

Cast
Nice Peter as Freddy Krueger

EpicLLOYD as Kirby (voice)

Beat


[*Freddy Krueger starts at 0:21.*]

Introduction
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HEROES AND VILLAINS!



VERSUS!



BEGIN!

Freddy Krueger:
Hahaha! Out of all demons, they send ME a child of the stars?!

Hilarious. I’ll claw through you before you can spit some candy-coated bars

And finish this quick, I’m used to killing innocent kids

Or worse. With that mouth, I’m sure you can suck up more than Pocky sticks

I’m bringing your doom; sleep tight when you're sent to your room

Chills going through you; “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you”

Slam you in a casket, drag it to hell; you’re in for a treat!

You’re just a rock on the floor; I’m coming straight outta Elm Street!

No need in locking the door -- I’ll be knocking that fucker down

You’re in for a hell of a night; pummeling you until the sun comes out

‘Cause I’m running the show! Still vile and mean in your wildest dreams

Climbing through the screen like the Ring- wait, why’re you smiling?

Kirby:
Excuse me, Mr. Krueger, would you like the soup or the stew?

‘Cause I’m about to cook you up and serve you like you’re food!

Hm. You’re a bit tough to the chew. Weird, I love things that are new!

Except for when they’re crisp, cut, burnt and as ugly as you!

Oh, I’m sorry! I just think that Dream Land should be whimsical and happy!

But every time I watch your films, they’re just so miserable and crappy!

But it’s not too late, to extinguish that hate, I know the answer!

If you wanna hurt others, we gotta make like DeDeDe and drop the hammer!

Freddy Krueger:
(Gah!) Shut the hell up, I can easily crack your insides in half

But with a fat ass like you? I’ll just make you a midnight snack (Thanks!)

No, you- Ugh, your thicker than that bowl you use to cook.

I’m a spirit of pure evil! You think I give a shit about my looks?

Kirby:
Well maybe you did, back when you were just another crook…

Too bad those parents weren’t about letting you off the hook.

And when your head got too hot, Jason made you lose it...

Also, if you’re trying to spit a fire dish, don’t try to nuke it!

Freddy Krueger:
Losing this to a tone deaf bitch? You couldn’t set fire to the Mike.

But I can! Lighting up the streets to give teens a fright!

So take me to your world, and I’ll murder them too!

When I’m through, you’d wish you never--

''[*Kirby inhales Freddy Krueger mid-verse, acquiring his powers and cosmetics before spitting him out. Art done by Quagga.*]''



Kirby:
That’s enough out of you!

I’m a sucker for making friends, but you only feel hatred,

So I’m taking this to the end! Burning you worse than how your face is!

So you’re supposed to be scary? I think you should get a new agent,

Because all I see is a fedora-wearing creeper living in a basement!

Stole Scissorhands’ blades, no wonder you’re such a burden,

Does it hurt, getting burned, like my words are from the furnace?

I like to make lives happy; you only like taking them!

And your disses have less rhythm than those kids’ Circadians!

Stepping to this chef? You messed up, and I’m fed up!

Because you’re just a bully with the bite of a bed bug!

I’ll mop the floor with you, like you did in Scream!

So, beating a lovable person such as me, Freddy? Ha, in your dreams!

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HEROES AND VILLAINS!

Who won? Freddy Krueger Kirby

Hints: Decoded
Hedge: Freddy Krueger's main weapon is a pair of hedge clippers.

Tree: It's an Elm tree, which references Elm Street.

A pot: Kirby cooks.

A curb: A curb connecting a sidewalk to a street; Elm Street. Also, curb sounds like Kirb-y.