User blog:Jella141/Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud - Historical Epic Rap Battles (Mother's Day Special)



Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud is the eighth installment of Historical Epic Rap Battles and the eighth episode of Season 1. It features Austrian neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, rapping against Albanian-Indian Roman Catholic nun and missionary, Mother Teresa , to see whether the "mother fucker" or the "sexless mother" will prevail.

Intro










Sigmund Freud:
(Beat starts at 0:22)

Take a seat, and let us treat this distasteful tension through dialogue.

Don't try to resist, Sis. This diss will make you suffer like a gift from God.

My patience for this patient's wearing thin. I don't mean to be abrupt,

But practicing chastity won't prevent a prudish nun from getting fucked

By the physician who analyzes foes, prescribing you to acquire some real flows!

You've been exposed! You're no saint, merely an old prune falsely deemed a hero!

You duped your clinics' donors; it seems your cold heart decided to fail on you!

Received millions, yet hardly spent a cent on those you vowed your life to!

Mother Teresa:
(0:44)

Forgive me, Christ. This wasn't my intended path; however, I can't help but wonder

Why any sane man would encourage a boy to make love to his own mother.

You've got a problem; I'm referring to more than just your cocaine addiction.

You're facing Teresa of Calcutta, irrepressible like your leukoplakia affliction.

I preach peace to the world, though I'm bringing bloodshed with my bars

And rejecting disses like your bizarre phallic theories that went way too far.

While I inspire more humanitarian workers than you've smoked cigars,

You're off studying your sister-in-law; your wife's been asking where you are.

Sigmund Freud:
(1:06)

From that appalling verse, I diagnose you are indeed incapable of spitting sick!

If Christ coerced you to aid the poor, why do you pursue to treat them like shit?

There'll be no recovering after this, as you oppose medical care, you masochist!

I'll leave you hypnotized, uttering gibberish like a bad case of the Freudian slip!

With your shady dealings with Charles Keating and your contraceptive views,

You might as well abort! My apologies. You're against that, too, aren't you?

I'm afraid that's it for this session; let's wrap this up like your sari!

Now, go fix me some soup back in your kitchen where you belong, Mary!

Mother Teresa:
(1:29)

It doesn't take a call from the Lord to know you possess a super-ego.

Your libido's out of control; those sexual fantasies of children must go.

Your friend Fliess can check your throat after you're done choking on my threats.

Has being sexist put you under stress? Because this neurologist is looking nervous.

I'm the pinnacle of human kindness; my efforts won me Peace Prizes, no doubt.

All you gained were a range of strange looks and cancer in your mouth.

Your legacy's a lunatic theorist with an unhealthy obsession with incest.

I'd mention all your other faults, but the list would be too Oedipus complex.

Poll
Who Won? Sigmund Freud Mother Teresa