User blog:MetalFire/The ERB Wiki Civil War

This is just a story and shiz, decided to do this cause I'm studying the war in History, so ye. Enjoy

(We see a battlefield and we see three soldiers go on the ground and huddle together)

BrandonService: Dudes, that was close!

Kung: Yeah, I'm surprised we haven't gotten rekted yet.

Cave: You guys might have, but I don't fuck around.

Brandon: Hey, how about we split up for now and meet up at the base

Cave & Kung: Roger!

Brandon: But I'm Brandon.

(Later in the day, we see our three main characters walking to the main base to see General Gravityman with a new soldier)

Grav: Alright, sexies! Today we got our fresh mea- I mean our new recruit. C'mon introduce yourself!

Metal: Hi, my name is Metal! I'm here to serve our country and lady liberty!

Cave: Seems like a try hard.

Grav: Cave, shut the fuck up!

Cave: Ughhh

Grav: Tonight we'll gather around the fire and introduce ourselves to the new guy!

Cave: Fineee

Brandon: He seems cool

Kung: Yeah dude

(Later tonight General Grav and his platoon gather around a fire they lit up outside)

Grav: I got a question for y'all

Soldiers: What is it?

Grav: What is your motivation for fighting in this war?

(Cave pulls out a paper he was reading earlier)

Cave: I have the love of my life waiting for me at home

Grav: She got a name?

Cave: Well no shit she does, but yeah. Her name is PP

(Grav tries to hold in a giggle)

Grav: Huh huh, PP...

Brandon: Anyways, I'm here because I was forced to be

Kung: And I'm here cause Brandon is here

Grav: Righhhht, Metal. Why are you here?

Metal: Because I don't believe in the act of slavery of the AWC's. I mean, our Declaration of Independence says we're all equal, so the fuck?

Grav: Quite noble. I'm here because my friend Lean tried to lead a rebellion and Nail E Lee managed to capture and send him to the gallows. The next day he was hung and I'm here to avenge my friend by crushing these confederate wikians. Plus, DWAS is a fgt.

Metal: Hey, that's pretty brave of you. Show's that you really cared for him

Grav: Yep... NOW WHO WANTS HOTDOGS

Soldiers: WE DO!!

Narrator: Meanwhile in the Confederate camp

(We see Flats walk in the tent to see Nail talking to a new recruit)

Nail: Flats! I need you for something.

Flats: Yes? What's up?

Nail: We have a new soldier with us today, please present yourself to Mr.Woods

GIR: Hi there...

Flats: Uh.. Yo

Nail: I need you to show him the ropes around here, got it?

Flats: Yeah, sure.

Nail: Off you go than!

(We see Flats and GIR sitting down near a tent. Flats pulls out a pistol)

Flats: Question, have you ever used something like this before?

GIR: I have not

Flats: Jesus... Well good thing you're a spy instead of a front line man.

GIR: How do I act like a spy?

Flats: First you need to travel to our enemy's camp

(GIR raises his hand)

Flats: Yes?

GIR: What if I don't have any enemies

Flats: Than you'll take these Binoculars and write their actions on this notepad.

GIR: Yes sir!

Flats: Now I must be off, make sure you don't fuck up.

(The next day we cut off to the Union Wikians and they get up from their sleeping bags, except for one)

Metal: Guys!! I think there's something in my bag!

Kung: Like what?

Metal: Something short and fairly human like..

(Cave opens Metals sleeping bag to see a sleeping GIR clutched on Metals leg)

Brandon: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???

(Metal gets up and tries to waggle GIR off of his leg)

Metal: Damn, he's got a tight grip

(Grav comes out of his tent)

Grav: What are you 4 screaming about?!

Kung: WE HAVE AN INTRUDER

Metal: AND IT WON'T LET GO OF MY LEG!

(Than suddenly GIR jumps from Metals leg to Grav's head)

Cave: It's like a god damn monkey

Bantha: Sup

Kung: Hey captain Bantha!

Cave: Idiots!! DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT THIS IS A SPY

Brandon: What makes you think that?

Cave: What sane person actually wants to fight in this stupid war?

(GIR wakes up and realizes where he is)

GIR: STRANGER DANGER!

(Grav grabs him and ties him to a tree)

Grav: Tell me your name, commanding officers, and why you're here!

GIR: MY NAME IS GIR, MY COMMANDING OFFICERS ARE NAIL E LEE AND SCRAWWALL JACKSON. CAPTAIN FLATS WOODS SENT ME HERE TO SPY ON YOU!

Cave: A-HA!!

Grav: Would you like to go back to your camp?

GIR: Yes, please!

Cave: Well tough shit!

(Grav smacks Cave with a glove)

Grav: Don't mind him, we're just gonna tell your leaders that we have you and they'll fall into our trap. THAN BAM, we win!

Kung: So, what will we do with him in the meantime?

Grav: One of you has to take care of him until it's time to battle

Brandon, Kung, Grav, and Cave: Not it!

Metal: Shit

(We cut back to the Confederate camp and Scraw enters with a carrier Pigeon)

Nail: What's up?

Scraw: ....

Nail: What? A letter from our enemies?

Scraw: ....

Nail: Let me read that!

(Nail takes the letter from the Pigeon)

Nail: Oh great! The newbie got caught already! MR.WOODS!!

(Nail goes outside to see Flats whittling a Samus Amiibo out of wood while petting his attack dog)

Nail: Flats!

Flats: Yo, what's up?

Nail: Do you know where GIR is?

Flats: Spying at the other camp

Nail: Yeah! and he got captured!

Flats: Oops

Nail: He was your responsibility!

Flats: Look, can you leave me alone?

Nail: This is serious shit, Woody!

Flats: He's a big boy, his fuck up is his fuck up

Nail: Whatevs, be prepared for battle!

Flats: Gotcha

(Later that night we see Metal sitting next to GIR and Metal is eating his beef stew)

Metal: So, why are you in this war?

GIR: Because I hate this community fighting with each other. We need all of us to make this place great

Metal: I agree with you, I just wanna improve and help here. People are too hard on President DWAS, I must admit. But all of us need to learn to come together.

GIR: Hey, what's your name?

Metal: My name is Metal, yours?

GIR: GIR

Metal: I just hope we don't have to shoot each other in the battle coming soon

GIR: *Blushes* Yeah... I hope so too

Metal: Do you have a fever or something?

Narrator: The next day, our heroes go to meet the Confederates at the Virginia woods!

(Metal gets in the front lines with Grav, Cave, Kung, and Brandon. Meanwhile GIR is on the back, still tied up)

Grav: Are you ready?

Metal: Yes

Kung and Brandon: Yeee

Cave: FUCK NO

Grav: FOR ERB WIKI

(The Union runs towards the Confederate army, we cut to the Confederates)

Nail: This might be our last hours, let's make it count!

Scraw: ...

Jake: FOR THE WIKI AND FOR DWAS

Flats: I really couldn't care less of what happens, just want this pointless feud to be over

Jake: That means you do care, at least a little.

Flats: Congrats, you became an even bigger asshat

(The Confederates run towards the Union. The fighting proceeds and men die left and right. We see Kung and Brandon fighting Scrawwall Jackson)

Scraw: ...

Kung: AHHHHH

(Kung gets scared and shoots all over the place and accidentally shoots Brandon)

Brandon: I hate you so much... uhhh...

(Brandon falls to the ground and Kung holds him)

Kung: I'm sorry, but you just got rekted

(Brandon spits in Kungs face and dies from blood loss)

Kung: NOOOOO

Scraw: ....

Kung: I'LL AVENGE MY FRIEND

(Scraw comes down from his horse and is revealed to be a giant esq warrior)

Kung: God, I wish I had some help right now

(Cuts to France and we see Yobar & Dr So6 at a cafe.)

Yobar: What? The Americans are on their own this time

(Goes back to Kung and Scraw)

Kung: Bring it on!

(Suddenly we see a bullet flying towards Scraw and it's revealed that Confederate soldier MindofMe fired)

Mind: WHOOPS

(It hits Scraws right in the right arm)

Scraw: ....!!!!!

(Scraw collapses on the ground and some soldiers carry him to safety)

Kung: So do I win?

(We than go to see Metal running deep in the woods to bump into Flats)

Metal: Heyyy, I know you!

Flats: Metal?

Metal: How's it been man?

Flats: It's been aight

Metal: Town hasn't been the same without you

Flats: Really? That makes me feel warm n shit

Metal: Dude, we don't need to fight. We're wikians and we're bros.

Flats: Yeah, you're right. This war is pointless, such idiots we have here

Metal: I can't deny that

(Flats and Metal share a laugh. Than Jake suddenly comes up and shoots Flats in the heart)

Flats: Fuck...

Jake: Traitor!!

(Flats falls to the ground and Metal pulls out a Pistol and shoots Jake in the brain thus killing him)

Metal: No....

(Metal runs to the midst of the battlefield)

Metal: ENOUGHHHHHHHHH

(Everybody stops and looks at Metal)

Metal: We need to stop this pointless fighting and become a community again! Plenty of users, blocked, and hated for their views and many try to leave, but can't. Because we love this place and we all want what's best for it. Put down the flame wars and join ME in stopping this war and making it peaceful here once more.

(The soldiers drop their guns and start clapping.)

Narrator: After that, general Gravesse S Grant and Nail E Lee officially ended the war by sundown. The Wiki was put back together, Wonderham Lincoln and DWAS agreed to lead the community together.

THE END