User blog comment:Awesomesix/ERB Contestants Battle to the Death/@comment-26209006-20150305050053/@comment-4998540-20150305052003

They're 6 foot fruit bats (bpf)

But for Mercury and Elvis, their weapons are so pretty much useless and out of the ordinary that they'd be ineffective. Mozart has a cello, and Beethoven has a piano.

Actually, come to think of it, Mercury has a piano. He'd probably last about as long as Beethoven if not a tad longer.