User blog:0ShadowStories/ERBIdeas - JRR Tolkien VS George RR Martin

Another battle of the authors. Who will come out on top?

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! JRR Tolkien VS George RR Martin! BEGIN!

George RR Martin: Listen up bitch to A Song of Ice and Fire.

You call your writing great but you're nothing but a liar.

I'm a fantasy god from the stars above.

Go ahead and read my story, i'll kill everyone you love.

Your favorite character? Dead.

Everyone else's? Dead.

Even Jon Snow is hanging on by a thread.

I spit rhymes colder then the iron throne.

Face it Tolkien, you've already been overthrown!

JRR Tolkien: There is definitely fantasy in this lesson you think i'll learn.

You wanna play a Game of Thrones, well allow me to take my turn.

You shall swallow my words and i laugh while you're choking.

Thinking you can beat me, what the hell are you smoking?

My style of writing leaves people in tears.

You left a book on a cliffhanger for six fucking years!

All the terrible things you've done, there is plenty i'm forgetting.

Dare to face me again and i'll recreate your Red Wedding.

Lord of the Rings is more popular then anything you could ever give.

Because I'm the greatest fantasy author to ever live!

CS Lewis: Keep Talkin' Tolkien. You sure about that?

I'm sure the Lion, Witch and Wardrobe would love to have a chat.

I'm C.S. Lewis, but my friends call me Jack.

I'll kick both your asses to Narnia and back.

George, you're nothing compared to these pros.

Go back to getting interviewed on late night talk shows.

And Tolkien, you're just all talk but you've got no game.

I'm original, the best, you're all just the same.

Rick Riordan:

Dare to face a god among men?

You're all already screwed, this is your end.

Riordan's got the fire for mythology.

I'm the author of many an Anthology.

Face me and i'll bring along the olympians and Percy.

Remember one thing though, we show no mercy.

Jane Austen: I thought it was my job to write with irony.

You're all just rude and full of hypocrisy.

I'm experimental, I break the bounaries of wrtiing.

Personally, I find all of your works unexciting. All of you write books based on a wild fantasy.

I'm Austen, my name already went down in history!

James Patterson:

Time for me to join this Maximum Ride.

Seems like this is nothing but a battle of pride.

I'll Alex Cross you all out.

Jane thinks she runs the Women's Murder Club, but that i doubt.

Now Along Came A Spider, and she was 1st to Die.

You gentlemen all hung out to dry.

You're all just boring and a bunch of bitches.

I'm the best at writing about wizards and witches!

JK Rowling:

Bitch please! You can't compete with me.

I'm the original and the true queen of wizardry!

You're all old and forgotten!

And all your fans have turned rotten.

Despite the fact that my series ended years ago.

I'm still more popular then all of you, always in the latest status quo.

James, even Stephen King knows you suck.

Jane, you're just me with bad luck.

Riordan, you're film adaptions both sucked.

And Lewis, you're clueless to the views you try to obstruct.

Tolkien and Martin, both of you need to make a note.

Harry Potter more famous then anything you've ever wrote!

Announcer:

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Lot of pretty great authors. This is defiantly the most work i've had to do so far. Who do you think one? Feedback is appriciated :)

Who Won? George RR Martin JRR Tolkien CS Lewis Rick Riordan Jane Austen James Patterson JK Rowling