User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/King Ramses vs The Mummy- Epic Rat Battles of Horror Season 2 Mid-Season Finale

Yep, I kept my promise- Didn't die, so here's my next blog. AND IT'S THE MIDSEASON FUCKING FINALE GOD THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG. Either way, this battle was totally not written in the past two days cause I was too lazy to start it otherwise, but here it is- A story based battle, the infamous King Ramses from Courage the Cowardly Dog who wants you to Return the Slab, tangles with Imhotep, otherwise known as Universal's very own "The Mummy," to see who's the better king to go from riches to rags. Get it? Rags? And they're pharoahs?... nevermind. Either way, this is a long ass battle with three instrumentals, so get ready to switch when nessecary. Other then that, have fun reading. Thanks to Jason as always for the awesome title cards!

Cast
King Ramses- NicePeter

Imhotep- EpicLLOYD

Freaky Fred- Shane Dawson

The Spirit of the Harvest Moon (video)- EpicLLOYD

The Spirit of the Harvest Moon (audio)- MrCreepyPasta

Freddy Krueger (Cameo)- NicePeter

Freddy Fazbear (Cameo)- CorridorDigital

First instrumental- Egyptian

The Story
The Mummy had risen from his tomb on the night of the full moon- Crawling out of his Pyramid through a secret exit, he searches the landscape for the creators of the noises he had heard outside

''" Grave robbers... " he muttered under his breath. He crawled forward faster to see two men dressed in all black running away quickly from his chateou. He grumbled slightly before turning and noticing a strange bump in the sand. "A sacrafice?" Imhotep questioned''

''He dug his long fingernails into the dune and started burrowing. He eventually reached something hard and rock like - He grasped it in his hands and yanked it out of the Earth. It was a large, shiny golden tablet. He held it in his hands, while a fog started surrounding him - A large shadow cast over the Mummy - And that's when he heard it.''

"RETURN THE SLAB"

Introduction
Announcer: (0:00)

EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORROR!

VS!!



BEGIN!

The Battle
King Ramses: (0:11)

Awaken, Imhotep, and I’ll show you, you’re the worst-

You’ve been revived hundreds of times, but that will be reversed,

When you suffer from three verses, each worse than the first,

So please, return the slab… OR SUFFER MY CURSE!

Imhotep: (0:21)

The Mummy Returns to face a true opponent, but he’s not impressed

When he’s met with this wretch wearing a green and purple dress,

You dragged Eustace into your grave, after those diseases struck,

And got your slab back? Well, CG-I don’t give a fuck!

I’ll face your plagues, your bugs against me will have no effect,

Teach this 3D object respect, you’ll learn that You’re Not Perfect

You’d best be disappearing, and in case this needs further clearing-

Blast those raps out of that phonograph, that’ll be a curse worth fearing

King Ramses: (0:41)

You’ve angered me, Imhotep, and now you’re in for a treat, see,

For you have been very greedy- So watch as things get FREAKY!

Second instrumental (King Ramses beings the first plague by summoning... Freaky Fred!)

Freaky Fred: (0:38)

Hello friend, my name is Fred, I said my name is Fred,

And I’m here to shave clean the head of this naughty inbred!

With that rap you bled, you’re so dead, and I’m showing no pity,

Better put that TP your wrapped in to use, since you’re so shitty!

Shave you like my hamster, I’m the original sadistic barber, ya?

I’ll leave you as blank and bald as my old ex, Barbara!

We’re the most controversial, so here’s a little story reversal-

We’re the CN OGs, and your beatdown will be Universal!

Imhotep: (0:58)

It takes Courage to step to me, but you’re just a Cowardly Dog,

I hope your backup will be better than this kid-friendly Sweeney Todd

You’re softer than Kitty, Fred, and you’re sure as hell not Freaky,

There’s two Freds scarier than you, and you’ll need them if you hope to beat me!

Could bring in the Universal Crew, but they wouldn’t know what to do,

They’d just sit around, mouths open while they’re watching me whoop both of you-

And Ramses, quit your stalling and get on with the stalking,

Your plagues have done little more than annoy, so roll back into your coffin

King Ramses: (1:19)

Say these plagues are not working? I’m just getting started

About time you departed- ‘Cause it’s time for a harvest!

Final Instrumental (Suddenly, The Spirit of the Harvest Moon flies out from behind Ramses to represent the second plauge!)

The Spirit of the Harvest Moon: (0:20)

I am the Spirit of the Harvest Moon, there’s a lesson to be taught,

Watch as I bring the heat of these raps up to molten hot!

You’re no farmer- Just a cartoony mess who’s constantly rebuilt,

Get out! Your flow is so horrible, it’d make a plant wilt!

I’m the baddest face you’ve faced, and I’ll take your life,

You’ll fail to win this battle, like how you failed to save your wife!

I’ll send you crying back to your Frankenstein, when you hear my scream!

‘Cause you’re just an empty symbol that kids dress up as for Halloween!

Imhotep: (0:40)

Please, this Killerface twit couldn’t kill me or ban me,

I’ve seen scarier shit then the likes of you onBilly and Mandy!

You’re a severed cranium waiting for your life to be undone, and I’m

Cumming back from the dead to kick your ass, but you don’t have one!

I’m a Mad Dog, you’re Mr. Nasty, and even less intimidating than Muriel,

With two heinous friends that are uglier than that Violin Girl!

These lines sting more than an arrow, while your chances of winning are narrow!

This battles a pyramid of superiority, and I’M the Pharoah!

 King Ramses, Freaky Fred and The Spirit: (1:00)

This towel-wrapped troubled teen seems to think it’s Hallows Eve,

But he’s about to face the final plauge! Let’s destroy him as a team!

You can think you’re so tough, But Shirley you’re Medium!

No doubt your Mummy’s looking for you, someone tell her that we’re beating him!

You’re a joke to the masses, while people actually fear me,

And you’re set to fall and be forgotten faster than your animated series,

And now you’re looking pretty mad! It seems that we made him sad,

‘Cause he’s a stain to his whole crew! '''Stupid dog! You make them look bad!'''

Imhotep: (1:20)

I interrupt your shitty verse to tell you that you have an awful flow,

You Stich Sisters are Ulcers to an otherwise watchable show,

I’d rather die another death before listen to you Katz rap,

You’re victory is going Nowhere, it’s the end for these Dancing Rats!

My kill count is in the millions, I’m the ultimate villain,

I left Egypt chaos-ridden, the best you did was traumatize children!

Your attacks failed, Ramses, I’m taking the slab and the win-

And leaving you in the sarcophagus, but don’t worry, death is only the beginning…

Announcer: (1:40)

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECI- AAGH!

(The announcer is cut off as the screen goes static temporarily)



Outro
Who won? King Ramses/Freaky Fred/The Spirit of the Harvest Moon Imhotep (The Mummy)