User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees- Epic Rat Battles of Horror Pilot

Hello, hello, and welcome to the very first episode of Epic Rat Battles of Horror! This lovely suggestion comes to us from Dragonsblood23, Nikki Lee 1999, and a lovely Wikia Contributer, and I thought it made for the perfect season opening- The first battle of season one, a pair of blood rivals, battling since 2003, it's the dream haunting abomination from Elm Street, Freddy Krueger, squaring off against the bulky man with a mask and a machete, from Camp Crystal Lake, Jason Voorhees! Be sure to vote for who you thought one, and leave a suggestion for who you want to see battle next. Remember, I'm fairly flexible with my character selection, so let me hear your ideas :P

Without further delay, let's get this battle started!

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Cast:

Freddy Krueger- EpicLLOYD

Jason Voorhees- NicePeter

The Instrumental- "School of Hard Knocks"

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EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORRORRRRRR

JASON VOORHEES

VS!

FREDDY KRUE- *(Slicing sound, Announcer yelps and is cut off) *



'''Freddy: '''

Get ready, Jason, I’m coming back to slaughter you with some fierce rhymes

You’re in my world of crime, and you won’t biasedly win, this time

You’d better stay silent, just like in your movies, because facing me is insane

Because your attempts of winning will fail worse than your NES game

It should be familiar when I strike you with verbal lightning,

I’m the original tyrant of slicing, you were made for merchandising

But I don’t want this verse is dragging on like your franchise, so you’d better scream

So forget the bedbugs, worry about Freddy- Sweet dreams!



'''Jason: '''

<p class="MsoNormal">Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake, where your ass got kicked the first time

<p class="MsoNormal">Left you rotting at the bottom of the lake, covered in slime and grime

<p class="MsoNormal">Why should I scream? You’re just a cheap dweeb from the street

<p class="MsoNormal">A peeping creep haunting through little kids dreams when they sleep

<p class="MsoNormal">But this time you’ll pay the price, when you get sliced by my knife

<p class="MsoNormal">These sick rhymes indicate that you’ve now been burned twice

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll leave your head dangling off your neck, before you can say it’s not fair

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m the true king of Killers, while you’re not even a child’s nightmare

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Freddy: '''

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re just a mentally disabled freak who’s mad that his girl died

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re taking Manhattan while I’m taking over, world-wide

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re machete can’t mess with Freddy, I kill apon contact

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m not so easily beaten, just ask the folks of Mortal Kombat

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Jason: '''

<p class="MsoNormal">You’d better retreat, unless you want to found deceased

<p class="MsoNormal">That’s right I conquered Manhattan, the city that never sleeps

<p class="MsoNormal">Which must explain your utter lack of lethality and fatalities

<p class="MsoNormal">P.S., you’re creator says you represent homosexuality

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Freddy: '''

<p class="MsoNormal">Give it up, it’s all over Jason, this shit’s no longer a game!

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re claim to fame is drowning with two literal fucking lifeguards to blame!

<p class="MsoNormal">In your farthest of good dreams, you’ll never stop this invading intruder!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll stick my claws into your eyes so you’ll remember the name Krueger!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Jason: '''

<p class="MsoNormal">I know it’s been four years since anybody has watched ya, jester

<p class="MsoNormal">The greatest murderer in cinematic history against a child molester

<p class="MsoNormal">The unstoppable force, my mask has been scratched into history

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll leave your body in my dreams, you’ll be nothing but a mystery

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Freddy: '''

<p class="MsoNormal">Why are you shaking, Jason, you must be feeling fairly nervous

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll do the world a service when I dispatch of this disturbance

<p class="MsoNormal">A menace has surfaced, versus a teenage boy, who’s worthless

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll stick my claws in your back and lock you in a furnace!

<p class="MsoNormal">By Wes Craven, I’m about to kick your ass back to New Jersey

<p class="MsoNormal">Because my disses will burn you worse than my town burned me

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll let your Hydrocephalus kill you and leave your body undiscovered

<p class="MsoNormal">Chop your head off, leave it on the ground, just like your mother

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Jason:

<p class="MsoNormal">Grrr, you haven’t toppled me, I’m back, and better than ever!

<p class="MsoNormal">You may have won Villian of the Year once, but my reign is forever!

<p class="MsoNormal">And I’ll never succumb to your Wolverine claws, or whatever

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll hit you so hard you’ll fly out of that Blue’s Clues sweater!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m the hellspawn from the camp, and you’re about to be torn to shreds

<p class="MsoNormal">Even if you managed to kill me, you know I wouldn’t stay dead

<p class="MsoNormal">It’s all over, you’re dead Fred, just like our crossover with Ash

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re crusty ass wish we’d never met once I take off this mask

<p class="MsoNormal">Boo!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO WON?

<p class="MsoNormal">WHOOOO’S NEXT?

<p class="MsoNormal">YOUUUUUUUUU DECIDEEEEEEEE

<p class="MsoNormal">EPIC! RAT BATTLES! (Logo is sliced by Kruger’s claws) …OF HORROR! (All three pieces fall, revealing Jason’s mask behind where the logo used to be.)

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