Chuck Norris

"You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone's master!"

- Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris battled Abraham Lincoln in Epic Rap Battles of History 3 and is played by Lloyd Ahlquist. He also made a cameo in Epic Rap Battles of History 15 and was mentioned by Bruce Lee in Epic Rap Battles of History 25. In his first verse in ERB 3, he comes dressed in his Walker Texas Ranger outfit, while in his last verse, he became gigantic and was already dressed in a martial arts outfit.

Information on the Rapper
Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist, and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. Norris appeared in a number of action films, such as Way of the Dragon, in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and was The Cannon Group's leading star in the 1980s. He played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger from 1993 until 2001.

Norris is a devout Christian and politically conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and donated to a number of Republican candidates and causes. In 2007 and 2008, he campaigned for former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who was running for the Republican nomination for President in 2008. Norris also writes a column for the conservative website World Net Daily.

As a result of his hypermasculine image, an Internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris Facts, ascribing various implausible or impossible feats to Norris.

ERBOH Bio
I’m Carlos Ray Norris, but everyone calls me Chuck. Some of my exploits have been exaggerated thanks to an internet meme called Chuck Norris Facts. Although some of the cool stuff is really true! I really was in the Air Force as an Air Policeman and I was one of the first westerners to be awarded the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do. It is NOT true that my beard grew the rest of my body. It IS true that I invented the hybrid martial art style, “Chun Kuk Do.” I did NOT, however, invent it accidentally while punching bread into toast. It’s true that I’m an actor starring in films like “Return of the Dragon” and TV shows like “Walker, Texas Ranger”. It’s also true that I endorse the home fitness Total Gym on infomercials. And I’m a super Christian who believes in creationism and writes books about it, like “The Justice Riders.” It is NOT true that the story of Popeye is based on my childhood. It’s actually the story of Superman. Also, boom! You’re pregnant.

Verse 1:
This isn't Gettysburg, punk. I'd suggest retreating

For I invented rap music when my heart started beating

Chuck Norris doesn't battle. He just allows you to lose

My raps will blow your mind like the verbal John Wilkes Booth

Verse 2
I am Chuck Fucking Norris!

I spread more blood and gore than forty score of your puny civil wars, bitch!

I split the union with a roundhouse kick

I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick

I attack sharks when I smell them bleed

I don't go swimming. Water just wants to be around me

My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster

You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone's master!

Trivia

 * Chuck Norris, William Shakespeare, and Marilyn Monroe are the only three participants to have their second raps longer than their first.
 * Both of his verses include "Chuck Norris facts".
 * He was mentioned in the Behind the Scenes video for Epic Rap Battles of History 8.
 * He is the first rapper to have more than one outfit.