User blog:Captain Warrior/Peasant's Present - The CW and A6 Show Christmas Special

So, since people will probably be too busy on Christmas, I decided to release this episode on Christmas Eve, so enjoy.

Cast
CW as himself

A6 as himself

Phil as the dog

Bob as the jewelry store worker

DWAS as the pet store owner

Scene 1: Dinner
(it's Christmas Eve, and CW and A6 are in the kitchen having dinner at 9:00 A.M)

CW:

Man, I love Christmas.

A6:

Me too, pal.

CW:

And Phil three.

Phil:

Woof woof.

A6:

I got you and Phil presents that you both will love.

CW:

Ooh, I can't wait to see it.

A6:

Ha, yes you can. And I can wait for my present that you got me, that is if you did get me one.

CW:

Lawl, of course I got you one. Why would I not? That's just ridiculous, like me.

(A6 nods his head)

(CW talks in his head)

CW:

Oh crap, I didn't get A6 anything, nor Phil. What am I gonna do?

(CW makes a worried face)

A6:

Uh, you alright?

(CW goes back to normal face)

CW:

Never better.

A6:

Good.

(CW comes up with an idea to get a present for A6 and Phil)

CW:

Damn, I'm starving. I'm gonna go out to get something to eat.

A6:

Um, we're literally eating food right now....

CW:

Oh, duh. Silly me, I meant dessert.

A6:

We have ice cream in the freezer.

CW:

What are you, a cop?

A6:

Why go somewhere else to have dessert when we literally have some in this house?

CW:

Because I want to try new things, like that time when I wanted to have chicken for Thanksgiving, instead of turkey.

A6:

But then you decided to have the turkey, and gave the chicken to Phil.

CW:

Oh yeah. But this time it's for realsies.

A6:

Uh, okay, good luck trying something new and then not decide to have something old.

CW:

Challenge accepted. See ya later, mofo.

(CW leaves the house)

A6:


 * sighs* Oh boy.

Scene 2: Present Suggestion
(scene changes to CW in his car, trying to think of an idea of a present for A6 and Phil)

CW:

Hmm, what should I get for A6?

(5 seconds later)

CW:

Dammit! Can't think of anything to get him. As for Phil, hmm.

(3 seconds later)

CW:

I got it! A chewtoy. Phil always wanted one, but I never had the chance to get one for him, mainly due to my lazyness. Well, so easy to think of an idea for Phil, but not A6.

(2 seconds later)

CW:

Ooh I know what to get him! A new watch, since yesterday I broke his watch since I saw a fly on it, so I used a hammer to swat it, but it flew right away, which made me break his watch.

(flashback goes to CW trying to kill the fly)

CW:

Get back here, you son of a bitch!

(fly flies on A6's watch, and A6 doesn't notice it)

(CW looks for something to use as a weapon to kill the fly)

(CW sees a hammer, and uses it)

CW:

Say goodbye, fly.

(CW tries to swing the hammer on the fly, but the fly flies right away, and the hammer breaks A6's watch)

A6:

OW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

CW:

A fly is what's wrong with me.

(A6 shakes his head)

(scene changes back to present)

CW:

Well, time to shop.

(CW starts the car)

Scene 3: Jewelry Store
(scene changes to CW at the jewelry store, trying to find a watch for A6)

CW:

So many gold.... and not enough space.

(a worker named Bob walks to CW)

Bob:

How can I help you?

CW:

Ah yes, do you have a diamond watch?

Bob:

Uh, no.

CW:

Why not?

Bob:

What do you mean why not?

CW:

I mean how could you not have any diamond watches, especially when they're the coolest jewelry ever?

Bob:

Because we just don't.

CW:

That's the dumbest response that I've ever heard of.

Bob:

Look, I don't know what your problem is, but we do not have any diamond watches.

CW:

My problem is that you don't have any diamond watches, when you should.

Bob:

And my problem is you not accepting the fact that we don't have any. Now, do you want a golden watch?

CW:

Why a golden watch?

Bob:

Because that's the best thing we have, unlike our wooden watches over there. *points to the wooden watches glass table*

CW:

Yikes.

Bob:

Exactly what I said when I first found out about them.

CW:

So, how much is one golden watch?

Bob:

$20.

CW:

Are you serious?

Bob:

Yes.

CW:

I'LL TAKE IT!

(CW takes out $20, and gives it to Bob)

CW:

Here you go.

Bob:

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

CW:

You too.

(CW leaves the building)

Bob:

What a strange human being.

Scene 4: Back to the Car
(scene changes back to CW at his car)

CW:

Well, time to go to the pet store, then I'm good.

(CW starts the car, and heads to the pet store)

Scene 5: Pet Store
(scene changes to CW at the pet store)

DWAS:

Well, long time no see. How is Phil doing?

CW:

He's doing wonderful.

DWAS:

Good to hear, so what brings you here again?

CW:

I want to get something for Phil as a Christmas present, such as a steak chew toy.

DWAS:

Um, we don't have any steak chew toys, sorry.

CW:

What? How could you not have any steak chew toys? What's wrong with you?

DWAS:

Look, I don't know what your deal is, but we do not have any steak chew toys.

CW:

Well, my deal is that you don't have any of those.

DWAS:

Damn, you really changed from the last time you were here.

CW:

What makes you say that?

DWAS:

The way you're speaking to me.

(CW nods his head)

CW:

Fair enough.

DWAS:

So, would you like a bone chew toy?

CW:

Yeah, I suppose so.

(DWAS puts a bone chew toy on the counter)

CW:

How much is it?

DWAS:

$10.

CW:

Goddamn, I'll take it.

(CW takes $10 out of his wallet and gives it to DWAS)

DWAS:

Thank you, Merry Christmas.

CW:

You too.

(CW takes the bone chew toy and leaves the store)

DWAS:

What a weird human being.

Scene 6: Back to the Car again
(scene changes to CW in his car)

CW:

Well, that should take care of everything.

(CW starts the car and heads back home)

Scene 7: Outside of the House
(scene changes to CW back at the house)

(CW gets out of his car and starts standing in front of the house)

CW:

Hmm, I should check if A6 is sleeping, so I can wrap the presents. I know Phil is, since it's obvious. I'll use this ladder.

(CW uses a ladder and climbs up in front of A6's window at his room to see if he's sleeping, and he is)

CW:


 * whispers* Perfect.

(CW starts losing his balance on the ladder)

CW:


 * whispers* Ah crap.

(CW falls down on the grass with the ladder)

Scene 8: Inside the House
(scene changes to CW in the kitchen wrapping the presents)

CW:


 * whispers* There that should be it.

(CW puts the presents under a Christmas tree)

CW:


 * whispers* Oh god, I love Christmas.

(CW goes to bed)

Scene 9: Christmas
(CW and Phil wake up at 8:00 AM)

CW:


 * gasps* It's Christmas!

Phil:

Woof woof.

(CW and Phil go downstairs)

Scene 10: Opening Presents
(A6 goes downnstairs)

A6:

Oy, you can't do this without me.

CW:

You're right, we can't. But can I open my present first?

A6:

Sure.

CW:

Aw, yes!

(CW opens his present that A6 gave him, and it's a pair of shades)

CW:

Holy shit, I love it, thank you so much.

(CW puts the shades on)

A6:

No problem, pal. I'll open mine next.

(A6 opens his present that CW gave him, and it's a golden watch)

A6:


 * gasps* This is amazing, thank you very much.

CW:

No problem, I figured you would want them after what happened before yesterday.

A6:

Nah don't worry about that, I got over it.

CW:

Ok. Phew.

A6:

Now, shall a certain dog open his 2 presents?

CW:

Yes. I'll open them for him.

Phil:

Woof woof.

(CW opens Phil's present that A6 gave him, and it's a frisbee)

Phil:


 * excited* WOOF WOOF!

CW:

I think he likes it.

A6:

I think he loves it, after seeing his reaction to it.

CW:

Time to open his second present.

(CW opens Phil's present that he gave him, and it's a bone chew toy)

Phil:

WOOF WOOF!

A6:

I can see that he loves both of our presents.

CW:

Same. Also, I'm gonna go to the bathroom with my shades.

(CW goes to the bathroom while wearing his shades)

A6:


 * smiles* What an odd human being.