User blog:Tkid115/Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine. Epic Rap Battles: Comics vs History Premiere



And here it is. The premiere. The one to hopefully start off a series that you all will enjoy. Yes, it is the first ever episode of Epic Rap Battles: Comics vs History and what better way to start than by doing a sugestion the majority of people on here want to see be an actual episode of ERB!

Today we have the demon of the dream world and clawed horror icon and serial killer Freddy Krueger from The Nightmare On Elm Street against the X-Man and clawed mutant from Marvel, Wolverine, to see which immortal with claws can come out on top. Will it be good claws or bad claws? Let's find out.

  

PROLOGUE:
In Xavier's School for the Gifted, we see Logan in his classic uniform walking to his room.

"Jesus, those dumb bots never give up..." he says as he reaches his room. He spent nearly the entire day facing off against an army of Sentinels and was actually exhausted for once. "Why am I so tired? I'm usually never....tired....aw fuck."

THUMP!
Logan passes out onto his bed, slightly drooling and snores loudly. Everything goes....fuzzy....

.....

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!"

Logan wakes up suddenly on the floor in some weird abandoned factory.

"Where the hell am I? Whoever did this, show yourselves or so help me I'll rip the dicks off-!" Logan starts hearing a faint noise due to his animal like hearing. It sounds like....children....singing....1....2...Freddy's coming for yo- "Freddy?"

"HELLO JAMES."

Logan turns around to see a man standing before him. His face is....ugly. Uglier than Beast!

"Who the hell are you?!" Logan unseathes his claws with a loud 'SNICKT! '"Where am I?!!!"

'''"Why...you're where you belong....." '''The man points behind Logan and Logan turns around slowly to see....Weapon X.

"What the hell are you trying to pull?!"

"I'm gonna put you in your place, BITCH!"

"Wait....you're that Krueger bub. The one who fucks with dreams and touches kids and shit. I've heard of you. Listen bub, if it's a fight with me you want, then you'll get it!"

Freddy puts his glove to his face and Logan gets ready for battle.

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(starts at 0:11)

Freddy Krueger:
(0:21)

I'd neuter ya, Logan, but I don't wanna end already.

Heeeeeere's Freddy! And you still won't be ready!

What ARE you, even? Part puppy, part bear?

You should let me cut ya, cause' that hair's a REAL nightmare!

I don't expect hear rhymes, just lots of grunts and growls.

Turn ya to a REAL creature! I'll make lil' Jimmy howl.

I'm the rappin' slashin' mean dream demon of a baddie

so step up to Freddy and you can make like your daddy!

Wolverine:
(0:41)

*sniff-sniff* Huh, woulda thought you'd be fresh

but right now, all I smell is old clothes and burnt flesh!

You wanna talk fathers, bub? Yours whipped you till you lost it.

And you ended up with a face that looks like tissue and vomit!

My claws are made of adamantium. Unbreakable, like me.

You just made yours out of scrap cuz' you were bullied as a teen.

For your sake, stay out of rap, and get back into your tub.

I'm the best there is at what I do. And what am I doing now, bub?

Freddy Krueger:
(1:05)

Careful, Wolvie. In my world, you're just a little minor!

Yet, you're a hundred year old bitch mutant with alzhiemers.

I'll feed Beast his own stomach and gouge Scott's eyes through his head

and spew your little Laura's blood out of her own bed!

Oh how "scary". Trying to show bare your Saber-teeth.

Take a page from your comics and just go to sleep!

Now you're in my realm! I'm like a whole bladed Hand clan!

Cut off your dick! And now you're mine! My Weapon-eX-man!

(Freddy slashes at Wolverine's abdomen)

Wolverine:
(1:27)

AUUGH!-Hmph, you forgot I can regenerate.

This'll end like you vs Voorhees. I'll decaptiate

your sick fuckin' head from that Cosby lookin' sweater.

I'm the Jean to your Bobby, cuz' I spit the heat better.

You got lil' kiddie disses. Where'd ya pick those up, Krueger?

I don't care if you're immortal. Still prepare to be the loser.

Mortal Kombat don't make you tough. You're just another Craven scrub.

I'll rip you out of this realm with the rage I'm savin up, bub!

(Wolverine goes into the Berserker Rage and the two start clawing at each other frantically)

EPIC RAP BATTLES-
(Logo gets sliced into three parts, each slowing falling off)

Comics...vs....history....blegh.... ______________________________________________________________________

Epilogue:
Logan suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat.

"Uggh....god, my head......PROFESSOR!!!" Logan gets up and walks out of his room. "Make my brain to where I never sleep again!"

Back in the factory, we see Freddy clutching his severed arm, humming to himself against a wall.

"One...two...I'm coming back for you.....ohhh you're gonna get it, Logan....you BITCH!"

The screen is blinded with fire.

______________________________________________________________________________________ WHO WON?!!! Freddy Krueger Wolverine

Hints for next battle:
Shake your head at Teresa

A plastic wrap rap

First ever Scooby Doo

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Hopefully you guys enjoyed the first episode!

If you didn't, feel free to critisize so I can get better at writing these for you. I know I've really lost my touch with writing over the years so any form of a critique would help.

That's it for now! Until next time, readers!

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