User blog:Dark Cyan/CyGIR Rap Battles 10: Grumpy Cat vs Garfield

Hello, everyone. And welcome to CyGIR Rap Battles! It's time for your monthly dose!

This battle would have been out earlier, but I was busy. Seriously. For the past two weeks, my stuff was the only stuff not done! I'm very sorry.

Anyway, this battle pits the internet meme Grumpy Cat and comic strip feline Garfield, to see who's the grumpier cat, I guess.

Enjoy!

Beat: Was That Sarcasm?

Grumpy Cat
(starts at 0:37)

This felines picking on someone his own size? That seems Plaza-ble

But I’ll bite. Cause I read your funnies once….. And it was awful

Plus you pose threat to the domain I reign. Since you surpass me in monotony;

The web has taken your lack of comedy and is enjoying it…. ironically

That doesn’t fly with me. CGI’s morphed you into some kind of Lorax junk

Murray better hurry before I definitively silence him. Call me Lil’ Beelzebub

Tune in any time of day; FOX, NBC, CBS, ABC;

I get more coverage than your Veterans controversy! And they ask me why I’m Grumpy…

Garfield
(starts at 0:59)

Ugh. I hate Mondays. Can’t I just rap battle you from my bed?

Hey, could you do me a favour and smash that alarm clock in my stead?

Make yourself useful for something other than generating undeserved money

The only ironic thing here is a LOLcat that isn’t funny!

I get more laughs in three panels than you have in half a decade

I’d rather give all my lasagna to Odie and then go off to get spayed,

Than take comedy advice from a miserable pest who’s never amused!

You should stop, just like your relevance, revenue, traffic and online views!



Grumpy Cat
(starts at 1:31)

Who says I’m miserable? This is me smiling. Can’t you see I’m soooo happy?

I’m getting real tired of your shit, and you won’t like me when I’m catty

A pity you chose this path. Like your diets, you should call it quits

I sleep in piles of money, bitch. If it fits, I sits

I’ve never met a housecat who’s actually scared of mice,

But takes it out on spiders. Even I don’t think that’s very nice

I have my own art show. I’m still relevant. You want a real truth?

Your best meme was just your comic, but minus you

Garfield
(starts at 1:52)

*Yawn* Well, aren’t you awfully Friskie? Now is usually when my nap is

For catkind though, I suppose I’ll Un-Buckle and give a couple more Lashes

People thought I was over-marketed, but your merch amounts Ab-Nermal!

Even though your mugs plastered everywhere; I still can’t tell if you’re a girl

While you flaunt your Ron Swanson look, I drop bar’s so sardonic;

They make Dynamite say “Di-no-might! Let’s make our own crabby cat comic!”

Eating up raps is what I do, so give your vet a quick catcall. Ḩ̬͇̘͈̕͝ͅȨ̵̨̗̩̮̗̟̩ͪͥͦ̽͡҉͢͝͝ Ç̩͕͕̻̮̲͗ͨ̀Ơ̖̋҉͜͡M̧̙͖͉̠̪̌̌ͬ͛̑̀͘̕͢͝Ę̴̴̪̲̞̀͡S̸̴̶̖͈̥͗ͤ̅ͮ

CAUSE I’LL BE THE CAT WHO LOLS ONCE YOU’RE FED TO HE WHO WAITS BEHIND THE WALLS

T҉҉̤̖̲̬̥Ą̶͕̪̪̯͖̤̮ͅR̷̭̮͈̱̥D̡͖̯̟̞̻͉A̹̗̹̥̙̼̝̰̕͟R̸͍͚̤͔͔̳͔ ̱̺͡S̴͇̰̗͔̳̹̦̤͢͜A̛̪̯̜̠͝U̮̹͕͘͘C̩͎͙̣̖̬̕͟E̶͎̩,̸̭͕͍̗̗̜̳ͅ ̵̮́͜F̵̣́͞O͙̙͝͡ͅR͏̨̘͓̼͚̝̟͘ ̱͔̻̪͔̝̼͚̀Ź͖͉̭͚̘A̢̗̟̞̲̭͟͝ͅL҉͉̫̦͖G͍͖̹̲O̢̗̗̜̭͇͉̞͇ ̟̗̩̲O͏̶͍͕Ụ̩̘͉͠R̛̞͙̞͉̩͢ͅͅ ̢͔M̴̜̳̠̱̱͓͕͠A̴̻̟S̷̬̣͍̝͍̘̠̬͟Ṯ̝̺̦̫ͅE̷̥͓̖̝R͏̴̰̪̳̮͕̭͈͞!̜͕͓̱͇ͅͅ

WHO WON? Grumpy Cat Garfield