User blog:Loygansono55/Bean vs Pea - Epic Rap Battles of Food Season 2

Before we begin this Epic Rap Battles of Food, I would like to establish a schedule for this series. I shall try to pump out a new installment every Tuesday, as best as I can (knowing me, though, I'll end up forgetting). Also, I'll try to have a few guests, if anybody wants to help out. Suggestions will be taken more often as well, so comment all of your best (or crappiest) ideas :P

Now, let's begin.

Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FOOD!

BEAN!

VERSUS!

PEA!

BEGIN!

Bean:
Don't you know I'm so good for your heart?

The more you eat, the more I FUCKING DESTROY YOU!

I'm covered in my sauce, and I come in a fancy tin,

Bean sniffs.

What's that I smell? Aw, you stepped in elephant dung,

Too bad for you, because now you stink,

But not good, like me, I smell very delicious!

I come in may varieties, like lima and soy,

Bean backwards is Naeb, so like, yeah!

Pea:
Yo' a hasbean! I'm a sweet pea!

Actually, more like pee pee! Oh, wait...

I just dissed myself, but I don't care, not one bit,

Huddled in my pod, you can't harm me with that bazooka!

Put the gun away, and while you're at it, stop drinking,

Cause you've got a problem, and I'm here to help,

Moderation is the key, so just listen to me!

Or else... I'll force you to read the Terms and Conditions... Mwuahahahaha!

Bean:
You look like the Hulk's genital warts! I look like love!

And your mother is a prostitute!

I have a secret stash of cocaine in my sock drawer,

Not even Professor Layton can find it, I'm so good at hiding things!

I've got a great pokerface, call me Lady Gaga! Wait, I take that back!

Instead, call me-

Pea:
Man, I can't be bothered listening to you, so I interrupted!

I am such a badass, I-

Bean:
Two can play at that game, I just pissed in your bedroom!

That'll teach you to interrupt me, you meanie! Kaboom!

Now that's a rare sight, a rhyme in ERBoF?

Seriously, I didn't expect that, what the eff?

Oh my gosh, I did it again, help me please!

I am scared, I don't know what's going on here, geez!

WHAT IS HAPPENING? AARRRRRRRRRRGHHH!

Bean faints from the shock of actually possessing the ability to rhyme.

Pea just stares at Bean, in shock of what he has witnessed.

Pea:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh... dafuq?

I guess that means I win, right?

What?! It's in my contract to keep rapping, that's bullshit!

Fine, whatever, just don't expect me to juggle,

Because I can, unlike you, you don't have any talent!

I rap faster than isuhvoeugbneutbghseuotgbvuyebvy!

Oh, you didn't make that out? That's because I was so fast!

And you're slower than a car driving pretty slowly!

Now I have two choices, which one should I choose?

Spoil the ending of the last Harry Potter book or tickle your feet?

Actually, I can multitask! I can do both!

Wait a minute, you don't have feet? HA!

Neither do I, really, but I'm still walking all over you!

You're more hoity-toity than my tighty-whities!

#abruptending!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU ORDER!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FOOD!

Who won? Bean Pea