User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 18: William Shakespeare vs Edgar Allan Poe

This started as a small idea, just because I used King, but now it's here, and thanks to help from Reignic3, and TKandMit. Without Reignic, I wouldn't have had half of the material I used in this battle, so major credit to him. TK also helped proofread. So yeah. *cough*

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!

VERSUS!

EDGAR ALLAN POE!

BEGIN!

William Shakespeare:

I was the William Gates of my times, the God of writing plays and rhymes,

You’re just an alcoholic who decided to scribble in his spare time,

While I’m running the business, you can’t even get a bit of cash,

You died Poe poor while I was a baller with the financial acts,

Even the plague couldn’t kill me, how can a drug addict wreak havoc?

You’re a hokey, Imma win this, get the trochee trophy, lemme have it,

I’m invincible, I’m a principal, dictator of fiction, you’re in my jurisdiction,

This predator’s going to learn what real writing’s like, no childish magazine submission,

You’re so sad, it’s obnoxious, but with how bad you were, you were rejected,

Your obituary just sums it up; even after death you can’t be respected.

This man’s an outcast, a freak. For his true nature, no one to speak.

It’s harsh when even mother nature destroys your only honorary piece.

Edgar Allan Poe:

As I step up to this peasant, volumes of work which seem unpleasant,

Busy writing sex scenes at a time women actors were not present,

You’re a comedy of errors, writing faulty, can’t even spell his name,

Poor sap, Willm Shaksp, couldn’t get a grasp on his own game,

No whispering can save you from the heat of the Globe within my flow,

Don’t call be heinous when Uranus is orbited by what you wrote,

No one understands what my life was like; you had two kids and a lovely wife;

This racist man shall go through strife; learn what true pain should feel like.

I’ll tear your legacy apart, verse by verse, take your quotes, make you eat your words,

This fool thinks he’s wise, but stepping to I shows the reverse,

Your history is like your writing; dull, clich, and unexciting,

Developing a story just to kill everybody in the end? How inviting!

William Shakespeare:

All your works were flops, you emo fop, overdosing to make it stop,

Even the Raven got you jack shit to spend, fifteen bucks is a measly top,

I’m the master of the diction, the only true man built by swagger,

Without my vastly massed vocab I clamored, your little dabbles wouldn’t even matter,

As I had once said: This above all; to thine own self be true,

Not even Stephanie Meyers writes as pathetic angst as you.

Edgar Allan Poe:

I may be dark, but I’m not desperate, you’re beginning to exasperate,

Like Richard Parker, whatever I write can control your fate.

This isn’t even me at my realest; my illest skill is Yet to Come,

To be or not to be my victory, the answer’s clear, my time here’s done.

Measure for Measure, I am forever better than this pathetic feller,

Such a shame to have a name rearrange to “I am a weakish speller”.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!

Who won? William Shakespeare Edgar Allan Poe

Hint: What is; a terrible connection?