Talk:Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc/Rap Meanings/@comment-190.238.19.10-20131105020232/@comment-24353761-20131230044200

Relax, amigo. Awesomesix was addressing the fourth replier, the AWC who said "God doesn't exist". As far as I can see, it's okay to discuss religion matter-of-fact-ishly, as in "Protestants and Catholics fought each other in the Thirty Years' War". You might even be able to sneak a little personal opinion into said matter-of-factish discussion, a la "Protestants and Catholics fought each other in the Thirty Years' War because they're both retarded". But once you start bringing your own religious (or nonreligious, or antireligious) views, beliefs and judgements into the discussion--as in "I'm a Catholic, you're not, and that's why God made your kid flunk Chemistry"--that's when you commence with the suck.

But if I'm wrong on this count, the mods are free to crack my knuckles with a ruler. I put up with nuns doing that shit for six years, so I can take it. That may also have something to do with my reasons for attempting to summon the vengeful Dark Lord Belial with every full moon, but I digress.

Back to the topic: as Swordzman said, the order and contents of the Ten Commandments vary depending on which brand of Abrahamic belief one subscribes to; Brand X Christians and Brand Y Christians might have two different sets of Commandments, because apparently God couldn't type the Commandments in just-plain-freakin'-English before handing them off to Moses. So if you follow the Jewish Talmud, they go like this:

1. Hi! I'm God, your boss.

2. Follow me, not Zeus or any of those other gods. Also, no worshipping statues and shit.

3. Don't say my name unless you really mean it.

4. Don't work on Saturdays, and get your ass to the synagogue.

5. Don't sass your parents.

6. Don't murder dudes. Or chicks.

7. Bang whoever you're married to, and no one else.

8. Don't steal shit.

9. Don't lie about shit.

10. Stop asking dudes if you can have their wives, their stuff, their land or any of their other shit.

If you're one of the three or four flavors of Catholicism, they go something like this:

1. Hi! I'm God, your boss. Worship me only...not Baal, not Zeus, and not any damn statues.

2. Don't misuse my name, because blasphemy is for whores.

3. If it's Sunday, stop working and get to church.

4. Love your Mom and Dad (even if they're dicks).

5. Murder sucks.

6. Adultery sucks.

7. Theft sucks.

8. Lies suck.

9. Don't mack on some other dude's wife.

10. Don't drool over some other dude's stuff.

And with most Protestants and other non-Catholic Christians (save for a few weirdos who think that God speaks to them through handmade quilts and shit), they go something like this:

1. No other gods!

2. No idols!

3. No saying "God damn it" and shit.

4. It's Sunday? Great! Punch out and get to church.

5. No sassin' your folks!

6. No murder!

7. No cheating on your spouse!

8. No stealing!

9. No lying!

10. No coveting anything, at any time, for any reason!

So there's that. Apologies for the length, but I was just killing time before it was time for me to beat up my mother, bang my neighbor's wife and go punch in at work. It's Sunday, you know. ;)