User blog:FynnRedkirby/Problem Sleuth vs Tracer Bullet - Rap Battle



Heyy this is my first time writing a battle for this wiki lmao. Problem Sleuth, the PI from Andrew Hussie's webcomic against Tracer Bullet, Calvin (from calvin and hobbes)'s rarely seen alter-ego. Enjoy :)

(Big thanks to Trakked for making the cover art and Deja Vu Flame for helping me write this :D)

Beat: https://picosong.com/wgyWS/

Lyrics
Problem Sleuth:

Looking down from my office, I’d best keep my private eye on you

I’ve had a harder time with a Ben Stiller bust sent from who-knows-who

As I enter my mind, it’s the only way to Trace your lyrical Bullets

My phone better not ring, so I can focus on adding more slugs to your gullet

Tracer Bullet:

I heard another scream from the dame, so it means I have a case

And it seems the criminal didn’t know he had arms in the first place

I keep my raps loaded to the magnum, while candy corn keeps you loaded

So keep yourself inside your fort, and I’ll hurry this over to what Hussie had coded

None of your failed commandments are able to pay the Bills in life

Cause just like your Second universe, your win is all inside your mind

This is a tough job, but I’m a tough guy, so I’ll sit back in my front row seats

If your bars were good as my aim, well, let’s just say I’d be on Easy Street.

Problem Sleuth:

If you wanna talk about the bills, better close the case with your wrong answer

And if your gun is your co-author, no eloquent speaker can excuse this actor

But don’t talk about my fangs, I’m a vamp ready to show ya what really sucks

Yet I’ll let that pass like Jack and Joe, with no need to give ya any greenbucks

'''Tracer Bullet: Seems you’re spitting more trash than the lamp in the living room'''

While you better be more hard-boiled for the sake of your Pulchritude

Quite an Ace Dick yourself, while I’m pushy like the dames in your imagination

I’ve solved the crime, but there’s no need to divulge more information

Problem Sleuth:

Only lasted three story arcs, started after a freak haircut

No wonder Calvin brought in the hurricane with accusing his tiger, but

You must be more pissed than what I did the picture next to my nemesis

For you should’ve kept your game outside to avoid the wrath of your baroness