User blog:Patts9009/Samus Aran vs Lara Croft --Lost Epic Patts Battles of History

=Note= Oh look, another lost battle. And yes, I wrote this for Samis, and I dunno if he uploaded it... so.... Enjoy and vote, I guess.

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES!

SAMUS ARAN!

VS

LARA CROFT!

BEGIN!

Lara:
Listen up, Sammy, it's time to Super Smash this Bro.

You're a little child; playing with your little gizmos.

You can't hurt me, so crawl into your little Morph Ball,

And cry because of the size of your fanbase in Brawl!

You wear your little suit to hide your ugly face,

I won first place in the famous VG gal race!

You can never take me out, let alone The Other M.

Move, I have to take out a more important problem.

Samus:
Ridley was an easy feat! You're not even a challenge!

Oh, and the hidden fact you're a tranny makes all cringe.

I'll Blast any chances that you don't have to win,

You're a rip-off of Jones, who's a lot more feminine.

My lines cut worse than the Curse of the Sword,

With little action in your games, people just get bored!

With your lines, you better put up your Gard,

Because I'm coming in to kill: strong and hard!

Lara:
I'll Scrap you from the Alliance alongside little Link,

Tomb Raider fans agree! Wii smell your games stink!

This Mission is where your popularity turns to zero!

You're just a damsel in distress, while I'm the true hero.

Just look! Even the Game Master doesn't want you!

You're time is over, and now your legacy is through!

Samus:
You were redesigned just so players can see more,

Otherwise your game rating would have hit the floor!

My legacy's over? Well, yours never even existed!

It was your fault you lost the battle, you insisted.

You have no friends, while I have a whole crew!

Now watch as I deliver a beating that was overdue!

Peach:
Excuse me! It's the Princess in the Kingdom of Mushrooms.

When PS and Nintendo see this, both of your games will be removed.

(to Lara):

Your fans don't play for any of the game's action,

They play to watch you give them their satisfaction

(to Samus):

I'll beat you worse than Sylux and Spire combined.

You'll be grounded to a dust that no one will find.

(to both):

I won this battle without even breaking a nail,

While both of your attempts were just utter fails.</span

Poll
Who won? Samus Aran Lara Croft Princess Peach