User blog:Bobdave/Epic Rap Battles: Modern vs Classic. Tupac vs Bach

The second ternionic segment of Epic Rap Battles: Modern vs Classic has officially begun! Yay! More bullshit graphics!

If you're wondering about your promised audio covers, they're still coming and I promise to do all of them. Onto the battle!

This battle was suggested by Kiren (as are like all the battles I do) as well as others probably but the only one I found was Kiren's so phllpt. I'm currently up at 4 AM finishing up this blog because graphics take hours. Including another instance of me colourising a picture that was in black and white because fuck it. Then later I found an already-coloured version on images which made me want to kick my monitor but yes. It's all done now so please enjoy it or I'll cry.

This battle has a guest! (Who could it be????) I'll tell you, bracketed voice! It's TK! (Is he one of the title rappers?) No! (Then there's another rapper in this?) Ye- I mean no, shut up, why would you think that.

I honestly can't tell if these ramblings are humourous or just indicative of my extreme exhaustion. We have West-Coast rapper and poet, Tupac Shakur, going up against Baroque composer, Johann Sebastian Bach. Wait and see if there's another rapper! I bet I'll surprise you!

Let's do this, babycheeks.

WARNING: Motherflipping gangstas

Instrumental: Hard West Coast Beat by OutRida (Intro is for the first 8 bars)





Johann Sebastian Bach:
Maestro, flip to track B, I'll be slamming on the black keys

It's going Back-to-Back in this Bach-Tupac rap beef

So yes, let's go! I know you rep the West Coast

But I'm a Bad Boy Baroquist, you're Trapped on Death Row (Oh!)

Your Family Tree is Harlem's hard-earned Crooks

Everything you spit's predictable as your tedious hooks

You think you're threatening me wearing that bunny bandana?

Man, I'll turn your whole crew against you like Black Panthers

I'll diss you in triplicate with my intricate lines

Then I'll flip you on your head and burn you three more times

Homie, stick to those tomes of sanctimonious poetry

'Fore you choke, I'll just strangle this chump with his own rosary

Tupac Shakur:
Some say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice

But I say the fatter the Jerry the weaker the dukes

<font color=#006296>I'm speaking the truth, you're ancient, your act's obsolete

<font color=#006296>And you may have gone blind, but it's All Eyez on Me

<font color=#006296>You claim to be a player, but you fucked your cousin

<font color=#006296>And I ain't gonna lie, you hit that shit like percussion

<font color=#006296>Had twenty damn kids with two different wives

<font color=#006296>And like your cantatas, only half survived

<font color=#006296>Why you Haydn? Can't you Handel how I'm Chopin this beat?

<font color=#006296>Is rich boy mad he's getting trashed by a punk offa the streets?

<font color=#006296>So come, poser, if your plump ass is gunnin' for this young'un

<font color=#006296>I suggest you surrender, ditch the schnitzel and start Runnin'

<font color=#ecdbbd>Johann Sebastian Bach:
<font color=#ecdbbd>That's your counterpoint, Pac? I'm really not seeing the gangsta

<font color=#ecdbbd>Quit rap, and go back to being a backup dancer

<font color=#ecdbbd>I got the Passion and superior fashion to outclass you

<font color=#ecdbbd>No need to ask Nas, this will be your last rap feud

<font color=#ecdbbd>You're weak, that's my 7 Day Theory

<font color=#ecdbbd>My concertos stay cheery, while your anti-white laments are sehr dreary

<font color=#ecdbbd>Look, I Ain't Mad at Cha, but you've been dissing my crew

<font color=#ecdbbd>So I can still beat your ass even if Only God Can Judge You

<font color=#ecdbbd>Promoting faith and social justice while you fester in a cell

<font color=#ecdbbd>But everyone seems to forget you raped a girl in a hotel

<font color=#ecdbbd>Because your manager's a criminal as well!

<font color=#ecdbbd>So you deserve every shot you got, Lesane, send me a postcard from hell!

Bach guns down Tupac

<font color=#ecdbbd>Mama's boy shizcoff

<font color=#ecdbbd>Wait, what happened to the beat?

<font color=#ecdbbd>Ah, scheiße



<font color=#ba1a1a>The Notorious B.I.G.:
(Biggie!) <font color=#ba1a1a>Uh, kick in the door, still wavin’ the four four

<font color=#ba1a1a>Storming the Kraut’s chords, why you wanna go to war for?

<font color=#ba1a1a>Por favor, don’t start what you can’t perform

<font color=#ba1a1a>The Lord in his Notorious form; tell me, who’s got the better score?

<font color=#ba1a1a>I’ve settled them before. Don’t go toe-to-toe with someone you should follow, fam

<font color=#ba1a1a>You’re fucked up in the head! You’re rapping against a goddamn hologram

<font color=#ba1a1a>So get with the program; this calls for an Oktoberfest celebration

(Biggie!) <font color=#ba1a1a>Makin’ and takin’ home the bacon like it’s Californication

<font color=#ba1a1a>This shit’s Kafkaesque, grotesque when I make orders with my feet on the desk

<font color=#ba1a1a>And it’s perfects; the best thing from your time was women in burlesque

<font color=#ba1a1a>Don’t get nervous, Bach, you were outplayed by a six year old retard

<font color=#ba1a1a>So if you think Pac got no talent, you’re more Dead Wrong than we are

<font color=#ba1a1a>I’m waiting for you to make a move, you have high stakes to lose

<font color=#ba1a1a>Break a few bones on my way to the Mühlhausen pews

(Biggie!) <font color=#ba1a1a>will show up to your Broadway and cause dismay all on your play

<font color=#ba1a1a>So don’t start a beef with someone who can eat the whole buffet, teach.

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES

(The logo is gunned down, but a hologram of it appears in its place)

MODERN VS CLASSIC

Hints explained
Back to Back, as referenced in this battle, sounds like Bach-Tupac. It's a diss track by Canadian rapper Drake.

Hints for the next battle
Coming soon...

WHO WON? Bach Tupac and Biggie

If you hadn't realised, TK played Biggie and did a fantastic job of it. Very glad he was able and willing to help out, really finished this battle off well.