User blog:Mystical Trixter/Joeaikman vs. Jonathan Joestar. Trixter's Semi Surfaced Rap Battles

Jo

Due to computer problems this one has taken far too long to have come out. Between my laptop deciding to get all dead on me and then that block that happened, not been a good time for Semi Surfaced, especially when I had this all ready to post when all that went down. Go figure. Anywho it’s finally here, a new battle.

Fiction writer and user Joeaikman battles against main protagonist of the first part of “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure” Jonathan Joestar, to see which of these English “Jos” is the truly superior one. Yes, that is a shit connection, but I wanted to do it anyhow. Plus I’ll take any excuse to write a battle using JoJo characters.

Intro
Start at 0:13

TRIXTER'S SEMI SURFACED RAP BATTLES



VERSUS



BEGIN

Joeaikman (0:22)
I'm a fiction expert so I'll be calling the shots

Against a wannabe Kenshiro with Hamon fisted plots

Doing gay ass poses like that, and your show is supposed to be manly?

You want beef, you'll get hot dogs, cause my verses are more fire than Danny.

You weren't Erina's first or last man, you got straight up cucked

So take your sucky Luck and Pluck and fuck yourself, schmuck

You got killed on your honeymoon, that's two ships sunk like no other

And the only person you ever got head from was your adopted brother.

Jonathan Joestar (0:45)
What are you doing!? Unforgivable, those aren't the words of a gentleman!

Such language is what Fandom will use to get you banned yet again!

You act like you'll be the next George Martin, but I've read your writing,

And the only thing you kill off effectively in your stories is my excitement!

I triumphed over Dio, and conquered all conquests in my journey,

I'll outmatch and outrap an outcast who can't make one round in a tourney!

So obsessed with starting drama, but when called out you're getting pissed.

I'll shut you down like your presidents game, but don't try and kill yourself over this.

Joeaikman (1:06)
That verse was straight "muda" just like your group of friends

Nobody cared about those fuckers even when they met their ends

JoJo's got no flow, Poco owns more blows than this homo hanging with a hobo

(You're probably about to say...)

Guess we know which Joe was the real Star and hero of the show!

Wait, what the fuck!?!





Joseph Joestar (1:30)
New York's JoJo stepping in for Gramps in part 2 of this bout,

About to be like America to English words and take U out!

You can't hurt me, I don't play games that horsefuckers run better than you can

Though all your bitching and swearing at everything is giving me a head-Aikman!

You act like some genius who thinks he's better than all who stand before you

But when bad suggestions come up you start screaming "NO!" more than I do!

I'm a Pillar Man killer, man! A fan fic is the only way you could commit verbal murder,

When I was told I'd give beef to a joke, I didn't expect to serve an assclown with aspergers!

I survived so much hell, and now I'm up in my nineties and still rocking it,

The only kicking it you know is what you get every two seconds you start talking shit!

So watcha gonna do? Depending on what you say, I might kick your ass even more!

(Calm yourself JoJo!) Relax, it's not he hasn't been taken down for starting fights before!

Joeaikman (1:58)
Why don't you use your secret technique and run away like this was your wife?

Because you couldn't make up a Battle Tendency to save your best friend's life.

I'll beat a senile Hermit Purple when he stands against the king,

My raps are so toxic that you'll need more than a wedding ring.

You broke your grandson out of prison, so I expected stronger bars

I know your talent with vehicles though, can't handle planes or Kars.

Perving on your mum and hanging with Nazis, what else can Joe say?

You're about as good a rapper as you are a father to Josuke.

Outro & Poll
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



(To the tune of Sono Chi No Sadame) TRIX TER’S SEM I SUR FACED RAP BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TTLES!

Who won?

Joeaikman

Jonathan Joestar

Joseph Joestar

Hints Explained
Starbucks Coffee: Another name for a cup of coffee is a cup of Joe. Adding on to that, this is Starbucks Coffee. Starbucks Joe, or dare I say, Star Joe, or even better, Joestar.

Hurt Man: This is a man in pain, or rather, aching, hence an ache man/Aikman.

Sunset Overdrive: One of Jonathan Joestar’s signature moves in JJBA is known as Sunlight Yellow Overdrive, so similarish names.

Donut: That sure is a colorful donut. Or perhaps, a colourful doughnut. Doughnuts/Donuts and Colour/Color was a Joe meme for a while.

“Next Line”: As seen in his entrance to the battle, Joseph Joestar has a habit of predicting what another person is about to say, most notably by saying “Your next line is…”

Next Time Hints!
There are none so far.