User blog:TKandMit/Frodo and Sam vs Wirt and Greg. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 3

Happy New Year!

Kinda. Two days late, but yeah.

Oh and I finally got that tourney battle out, so there's that. Which brings me to this next point: If you thought I was gonna do any writing this season, you have another thing coming.

Welcome to the Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains, a series I started and sometimes actually write for - but not today. Today's battle is brought to you by Joe the hoe and Flats the chest, who were so kind to write this battle in full for my series. Today's match-up pits fantasy duo Frodo and Sam from The Lord of the Rings against the young wandering brothers from Over the Garden Wall, Wirt and Greg.

Not much else to say here after that. I'm gonna go start writing the next battle, so enjoy.

Cast
George Watsky as Frodo Baggins

EpicLLOYD as Samwise Gamgee

Nice Peter as Wirt (voice)

EpicLLOYD as Greg (voice)

Introduction
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!



Versus!



Begin!

Frodo and Sam:
What are you doing? It must be done, we have a planet we must traverse

But first we must verse in verse these inversed versions of our universe

I bear a mighty burden, but we can shoulder it onwards together forever

I’m your Sam, Master Frodo, you have to trust me in our shared endeavour

I trust you, Sam, but I cannot stop you from returning home to your Gaffer

And Rosie… What does that matter? I can carry you as a friend and rapper

We fought orcs and other monsters, we’ve heard the beautiful elves sing

But when coming up against the Unknown, be sure that we bring the Sting

As hard as Mithril steel, with the sturdiness of a people that go undetected

Never had thought it of two Hobbits, saved the world before second breakfast

Smoke two Halloweenie boys, getting higher in the Shire, we are cracking them

Could have flown through your silly story, and still get there and back again

Wirt and Greg:
Lead through the mist, comes the Pilgrim in his hat and cape,

No need for clarinets tonight; I’ll drop a different kind of tape,

Remind me, what’s the story with elves, giants, dragons and gnomes,

Who do battle with magic and hat tricks? Game of Thrones!

So we meet our protagonist, midget Harry Potter with toe hair,

Who’ll take the MacGuffin device to Death Mountain, though he doesn’t know where

That’s the fat one, right? Afraid not, though all the other does is cry and mope,

Fulfill some unsightly tropes while fighting spider foes and lycanthropes,

(Yawn) Let’s read something else, they’re blander than Langtree’s classes

These classics are so plastic, I couldn’t spice them up with molasses

This is from where we come and end, finish it before it starts

All that was lost is revealed: I’ll split the Hobbits into four parts

Frodo and Sam:
Beastly brothers, beat each other, because you are brats that behave badly

So eavesdrop Over the Garden Wall and end up serving as the hero’s caddy

Beware what’s in the lair, be ready to escape the darkest places in the world

Then go on to win and save the day, escape, be Merry, and pip in for the girl

I took the quest when it came calling, because of his uncle’s hidden riches

And, because unlike you, the Bagginses have bigger balls within their britches

Leashed our stalking beast, crossed Marsh and the hills of Muil to get it

Complete our world saving quest whilst you were stuck on hallucinogenics

Wirt and Greg:
I don’t get it. Don’t worry, it’ll make better sense in the prequels,

No, I meant why travel all that land on foot instead of just taking the eagles?

That would’ve spared them both the Ring retrieval and scuffle with Smeagol,

Before the thoughtless plot upheaval when he Beatricked his people and went evil?

Your entire awful adventure was avoidable, and that’s a rock fact!

We block paths of Hobbit’s botched raps, and You Shall Not Pass

When we combat, we stomp fat wombats like two varmints,

The Sting faced the Ringwraiths but wasn’t ready for true darkness

Who won?!

Who's next?!



Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Who won? Frodo and Sam Wirt and Greg

Hints: Decoded
JumpinJax: The User Formerly Known As DudeWithASuit has the first name Greg. Greg.

Shattered plate: In the Hobbit, a poem about what character Bilbo Baggins hates is titled "Chip the glasses and crack the plates". Bilbo is the uncle to Frodo.

Romeo and Juliet on the balcony: In the story, Romeo & Juliet, Romeo climbs over the Capulet's garden wall to make his way towards the balcony where Juliet is.

Afro guy with money: A shortened word for afro is "'fro". A slang term for money is "dough". "'Fro" and "dough" together makes the word "'Fro-dough", or otherwise "Frodo". Yeah I know it's stupid.