User blog:NightFalcon9004/Chuck Norris facts

IRRELEVANT BLOG TIME!

So, it's Chuck Norris' birthday and all, so I want to make the longest list of Chuck Norris facts the world has ever seen.

Start with the ones from ERB:

Rap music was invented when Chuck Norris' heart started beating. (Without it, there would be no ERB)

Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.

Chuck Norris spread more blood and gore than forty score of our civil wars. (BITCH)

Chuck Norris split the Union with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris wears a black belt on the beard that he grows on his dick.

Sharks are attacked when Chuck Norris smells them bleed.

Chuck Norris doesn't go swimming, water just wants to be around him.

The only thing faster than the speed of light is Chuck Norris' fists.

Abe Lincoln may have freed the slaves, but Chuck Norris is everyone's master.

(Now adding some of my favorites)

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was supposed to die 10 years ago. Death just doesn't have the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his living room. The bear isn't dead, it's just too afraid to get up.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.

Add more to this list so we can have the largest Chuck Norris facts list of all time!!! :D

Piet, pretend this doesn't exist.