User blog:DemonicBeast/Spider-Man vs The Tick. DemonicBeast's Rap Battles Season 1

Okay, this is nuts.

It's been quite some time since I've been on the wiki, mainly because of ERB's long hiatus, and on a totally unrelated matter, the death of my loyalty to Smosh.

But I'm back with a new battle. I'm doing just random, non-themed battles from here on. Pokemon Rap Battles is pretty much over.

But regardless. The Tick has a new Amazon Video series and I just can't wait to remake this battle I made years ago with a brand new... everything.

Cast:
Brock Baker as The Tick

Daneboe as Spider-Man

Mary Doodles as American Maid (cameo)

Dante Cimadamore as Die Fledermaus (cameo)

EpicLLOYD as Sewer Urchin (cameo)

Nice Peter as Arthur Everest (cameo)

LET'S DO THIS!

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

SPIDER-MAN!

VS!

THE TICK!

BEGIN!

Spider-Man
I’m just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

Oh, wait, scratch off “friendly”, ‘cause I’ll beat you any way I can!

You belong in the can, while I’m pure superhero material!

You’re so obscure, you couldn’t get on a box of cereal!

You call yourself the nigh-invulnerable Big Blue Bug of Justice,

But that doesn’t mean he won’t be squished by Spidey’s robust diss! (Oh, shit!)

I’m a Marvel when it comes to comics, and you’re an N.E.C.!

Your mind floats like a butterfly while my rhymes sting like a bee!

The Tick
Stupid Spider-scum! You don’t know who you’re stepping up to!

In fact, step to me, I’ll step on you, so shoo or you’ll kiss my blue shoe! (Ooh!)

Thwip a diss at me like your webs, and you’ll take a Chair to the Face!

Your verses have as much chance of damaging me as a titanium mace!

You've had a bad life; dealt with trauma a lot!

Your first girlfriend’s neck snapped and your uncle got shot!

With great power comes great responsibility, that’s a fact!

And it’s my responsibility to leave you verbally attacked!

Spider-Man
So this gullible doofus thinks fucking with me is funny?

Don’t bother trying to fight crime with a sidekick who’s a bunny!

I spit lyrical Venom as sinister as the Six,

And I'll crush you to bits like you do to bricks!

I may have had a rough life, got no more dad or mom,

But at least I don't deal with expanding bread bombs!

I’ll hit you on the head so much, you’ll remember you got owned!

Then I’ll lock this blue loon back in his mental home!

​The Tick
Can bunnies fly? No! He's a moth! Are you serious?

This web-spinning prick is delirious! Are you hearin' this?

I'm a Terror! Fear me! I'll kick you in the knees,

Sink my teeth into your cheeks, give you Lyme disease!

All your Marvel cohorts can fuck off and eat dirt!

'Cause the heroes of The City hit evil where it hurts!

This goblin’s pretty much planted the El Seed to his doom,

‘Cause from this day on, you’ll fear the word “SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!”

Announcer
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC....

(the logo is snagged in a spider web)

RAP...

(The logo is yanked offscreen)

BATTLES OF HISTORY.....!!!!!

Poll
Who Won? Spider-Man The Tick Can't Decide!!!