User blog:Hippie Rat/Max Caulfield vs Donnie Darko

Hey yo hi hello.

GUESS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Season 4 of Hippie Rat's Battle Raps is hereeeeee!

Damn skippy and this is a really special one. As I've mentioned many times over this battle is interactive. Choose your own ending. Structured just like an actual choice in Life is Strange, we got one finale choice that leads to one way the battle can end, and another that leads to another way the battle can end. Both have their good outcomes and bad outcomes. It's up to you to decide which ending is not only the better ending to the story, but which ending demonstrates better raps.

Very special thanks to Wonder for renaming my blogs and basically making this whole choose-your-own-ending thing not completely botched as it almost was. Thank you very much man.

So enjoy this battle between Max Caulfield, photographer and time manipulator protagonist from the video game Life is Strange, and Donnie Darko, eponymous vessel for the manipulated dead to change the outcome of a break in space and time, and speaking of manipulated dead..well I'll let you figure that part out yourself.

I give 100% permission to the use of my lyrics in any audio and/or visual production, as long as credit is given where credit is due. A beat can be requested if so necessary. It would also be appreciated that, if any lyrics are used, a link to the production be sent to me. Any questions and/or links can most easily be sent in my most recent blog. Thank you very much.





Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Max Caulfield vs Donnie Darko ! Begin!

Donnie Darko:

Funny, the only Strange things I could find is your simplicities of Life,

You can't just lump everything between saving small town and Ms. Punky Price.

You dragged a blind puppy on a leash more beat up than Pompidou ever was,

Far away from Brooke just because all's fair in Warren love.

Last night I dreamt I was on a hill, high, with a bike, hacking up a water line, at the school in black of night,

While you're running a flashlight. Leonard Bernstein!

Sacrificed my own life, somehow you run out of time, not-so-virgin suicide, Everyday Zeroes,

Just a prissy narcissistic hipster who's afraid of the Darko. Oh? No.

Max Caulfield:

There you go again, saying too many things too fast to make you seem smart,

To think I pinned a poster of you next to my art.

Who's the raging angsty emo teen going to teachers bellyaching,

Drugging up and shooting dudes up like he doesn't own up? Nathan!

You see, Darko? The world doesn't revolve around you,

There's a million other misunderstood teenage dudes.

But just one time travel movie try-hardin' to get the viewers yawnin',

So confusing not even cute li'l Jake Gyllenhaal knows what's going on in it.

Donnie Darko:

So how do you explain the tool that led you to witness,

The hit list of Chronos, the vicious deaths of the bitches,

Love interests, and your extended Facebook friend list?

Yes, hold that pose..shows the pure loss of innocence.

Your whole story's tearjerking like Nathan in his dorm room,

Climaxing at the death of Chloe's favorite you.

Protect your throat from the town of assholes at it, the whole rabble,

Think of all those you killed as you skedaddle back to Seattle.

*Frank the rabbit can suddenly be seen stepping in front of Donnie*

Max Caulfield:

You wanna talk causation? Try your girlfriend, kid sis, and mom,

Bee tee dubs, no one wants to watch another plane wreck in Arabic font.

Chloe Price:

Max-a-million is killin' it but the illest impetus,

Is filling Frank and his dog Don in its opinion over imminent insolence,

For instance, with your history of unruly comments to authority,

One would think you'd have more comebacks before backing on your bunny,

And I find it kinda funny, he's in the pants of the stupid sister suit of this schmuck,

Because Elizabeth is so interested in demonstrating how to suck a fuck!

Showing power over Bowers, I'm the harshest,

While this fluffy bunny is soft as Kate Marsh's!

Take that, silly rabbit! You sent this kid to take the rap?

Then I'll rid this bitch of masochist addiction like I kick any bad HABIT.

Donnie Darko:

You're out of time now, best prepare for a storm,

'Cause, Shaka brah, when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Frank:

Deus ex machina, there's just no stopping a cuniculus,

Puppeteering this duration, existence seamstress. Fear this.

Your deer little angel couldn't save an emo brat,

That's acting all brash after the death of her dad.

Or back the second time when you broke your back,

And stacked rack for the hospital with the cash y'all lack. The World's Mad!

And once in a twice in a two-blue-moon, a blue-haired pixie fairy,

Gets more people killed at the school dance since the ending of Carrie.

And when she's done blaming herself for the ends of those lives, *He pulls out a pistol*

Then Max has to pay the piper quite the high Price.

*Frank shoots Chloe as Donnie reveals a syringe*

Max Caulfield:

Chloe! No...

*everything distorts as Max is faced with two choices*

AVENGE CHLOE

SAVE CHLOE

Trivia

 * It goes without saying that this was my first battle to feature two endings that can be chosen by the reader.
 * This is my second battle with Max Caulfield, after my bonus battle Until Dawn vs Heavy Rain 2.
 * This is my second battle to have a rapper whose entire rap is undone (if such an ending is chosen), after my aforementioned bonus battle.
 * Both Donnie Darko and Frank have had rapping appearances in two of my previous very old and poor quality unpublished battles, Donnie Darko in a battle against Alex Browning from Final Destination, and both going against each other in a Donnie Darko story battle.
 * The last four lines in Darko's first verse are to the tune of a verse in the R.E.M. song It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine). This is punctuated by the irrelevant shout "Leonard Bernstein," known for being one of few easily coherent lyrics in the song that notably had the instrumental cut out at the utterance. This was chosen as a reference to the end of the world scenarios in Life is Strange and Donnie Darko and to draw the connection between the two in a clever way.
 * This battle was hinted at on my profile page with the hint "Time travel, spirits, corrupt teachers, the end of the world, and cute Jake Gyllenhaal".

Polls
Who won? Donnie Darko & Frank Max Caulfield & Chloe Price

What ending would you ultimately choose? Avenge Chloe Save Chloe

Who's next? Gavrilo Princip vs Lee Harvey Oswald Ferdinand Magellan vs Amelia Earheart Winnie the Pooh vs Charles Manson