User blog:Awesomesix/Monster Miscellany Battle One: Godzilla vs Cthulhu

So, I got bored, and suddenly began to rewrite a battle idea I had that would've been my Season 4 opener had I finished the third season of Awesome Rap Battles. Since my new battle series has no real theme, I decided why not? So, here it is.

Iconic horror monsters, the dinosaur like Godzilla and Lovecraft brainchild and alien Cthulhu face off in a battle of monstrous size. Eventually, more people decide to pitch in to a battle of epic proportions.

Battle
MISCELLANEOUS RAP BATTLES OF MISCELLANY!

GODZILLA!

VERSUS!

CTHULHU!

BEGIN!

Cthulhu:

This rapping rapture’s about to fracture a Jap attraction.

A raptor could snap you in half before you attacked it.

Just face it, your quaint fame’s on the brink of extinction.

There’s no distinction, this t-rex needs a bigger brain for thinkin’.

I’m a dread with dreadlocks, dead locked on stunning you,

Cthulhu, whatcha gonna do when the alien comes for you?

There’s nothing to do, just listen. I represent R’yleh, motherfucker.

Ocean disruptor. Any motherlover seeing me runs for cover.

Mind controller from another, invading dreams like big brother,

You can’t take on an ape, how could you take on the ruler of Earth?

Beard like Zeus, flying terror rising from the oceans eventually,

This daikaiju’s gonna die soon, my rhymes fuck with you mentally.

Godzilla:

Nice verse, mister Squidward. Having fun with those big words?

To me you’re just an inchworm. A jellyfish I can squish firm.

No Lovecraft crap can attack me, I terrorize the Japanese,

I’ll squish that lumpy head like it’s a melted jellybean.

You’re a Fat Boy, your verse nuked it. You’re a stupid fluke, kid.

I may be a new hit, but you’re a noob at bringing doom, squid.

Take your tenacious tentacles and go back to the Atlantic Ocean,

My roar is enough to make fanboys orgasm in commotion,

Both you and Tokyo are hopeless, I’ll stomp you like a welcome mat,

Kick your ass like a rugby match, squash you like Mothra: Flat.

Out of all the monster rap, mine’s the one to make people run,

Step to my town, son, lemme show you how real destruction’s done.

Kraken:

I’m Kraken and I’m whackin’ these bitch ass asshats!

Now take that fact and shove it straight up your asscracks.

If you want a piece of sushi, all you bitches try to push me,

Nothing can shush me; you tooshies are softer than Tootsies.

The King Kong of the squids, big’s how I live, I don’t kid,

Howling like a dog, madder than a werewolf who won’t shit,

Surfing past this serpent isn’t worth it; a world of hurt’s what’s certain,

I put your whack rhymes on display in arrays like a circus,

No overgrown alien or dinosaur can hurt the angry Octopada,

Your lines deliver pain? Nada. You shitheads hit rock bottom!

Fenrir:

I’m insanity wolf on the prowl, bitch! I’m gigantic!

Trying to brave a bark like mine will leave you left handed!

Try and chain me, nothing can contain me or tame me,

It’s plainly so lame seeing these basic monsters feign beef.

Don’t expect Loki’s son to step in and not take command,

I surround you all like my name was Jörmungand,

Vikings don’t like me, they find me frightening, so try me.

Calamari and dino steak sound like they’d fit my liking.

Cthulhu, rapping’s not your calling, you’re appalling,

Just start stalling; only dogs know the true meaning of balling.

So have at me! Call me Sleipnir, cause I’ll be leaving you horse,

Due to the fact no force can top this Norse big bad wolf’s roars!

Talos:

Talos here to represent Hephaestus and the island of Crete!

You can’t handle the heat! My skin burns more than you freaks!

I was sent by the god to show you four weaklings pure talent,

Trying to be gallant? Please, none of you have a great rap palate!

From Nemean to Orthus, I’m the most excellent creation,

The boulders I’m grazing through the air at you guys are amazing,

I’ve seen badder dogs in a Humane Society, you Norse abomination,

The Jet Jaguar of rap presentation, Godzilla’s a fossil in the making,

Here’s a fact about Krakens: You’re for a hungry whale’s snacking’,

Your enemy’s named sperm? How pathetic, don’t get me started on your rapping,

Or Cthulhu, you make Scylla look frightening with your fleshy facial features,

Just a mutant star nosed mole, mixed with an obese extra-terrestrial creature,

Y’all motherfuckers need me! It’s clear you’re all try-hards and weak!

With the way you all suffered defeat it’s like you all just went Greek!

Gargantua:

Can someone pass me some fuckin’ cow? I’m starving.

…

Don’t act surprised. A battle of massive size without I?

I reach the sky. I’ll thunderclap you deaf with my thighs!

My appetite for success is just second to none!

This is a buffet of weaklings and I’m gonna eat til I’m done!

My hunger never dies down like the Godzilla reboot attempts,

Give up already, you’re spent, even Scary Movie stops to catch breath,

If it isn’t War of the Worlds mixed with Bob Marley’s doo.

I ain’t scared of you. Don’t need telepathy to know that you’re screwed!

I’ll crush Talos like a can, cook up Kraken for a snack,

Don’t need to neuter Fenrir, he doesn’t have the balls to bite back!

I’m a feared French fictitious, I can find anything delicious!

Thank the lord for serving me bitches! This oversized battle is finished!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

MISCELLANEOUS RAP BATTLES OF MISCELLANY: MONSTER MASH PART ONE!

'' *A shadow is cast overhead as something leaps by, as if it had... spring heels or something...* ''

Who Won? Cthulhu Godzilla Kraken Fenrir Talos Gargantua