User blog:Awesomesix/Gordon Freeman vs Sheldon Cooper

Hooray! 2.0 is officially longer than 1.0! (cLAP)

This is my second remake, and the next three battles are gonna be remakes, so...

Silent Half Life protagonist Gordon Freeman vs loud Big Bang protagonist Sheldon Cooper face off to see theoretical scientist differing on the vocal department is surperior.

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

GORDON FREEMAN!

VERSUS!

SHELDON COOPER!

BEGIN!

Gordon Freeman:

I’m a silent scientist, but I still have the verbal capacity, exactly

To take this sarcastic ass and blast him into his next catastrophe,

I’ll destroy you selfish, inhumane, core quicker than the Citadel,

Messing with the wrong puzzle brainiac, you embarrassing imbecile,

No one liner will save this toothpick from a crowbar wielder void of talking,

So you can Bazinga yourself out of here back to Stephen Hawking.

You’re an insult to geniuses everywhere, with your cocky pride,

Being a nuisance to your friends; a Manhack in their side.

I’ve dealt with hunters who are less obnoxious and atrocious,

You’ve got no redeeming qualities, and your humor is bogus,

Just an attempt to make viewers feel better about themselves,

Like your pathetic toys, your show needs to be boxed up and shelved.

Sheldon Cooper:

My victory here is as guaranteed as my spot on the couch,

If you’re anything like Will Wheaton, you better step out.

I’m a G Man, Gordie, so you better avoid my line of sight.

Your rapping is so putrid, those barnacles lose their appetite.

You’re just a freak with a bad case of crabs, a government tool,

I can rip your ass in Klingon, so watch yourself, fool.

Your experiment was a flop, just like your flow and I.Q.,

You’re about as smart as a Dog, and half as incredible, too.

While you’re in your giant suit jumping around in diarrhea ponds,

I’m scoring on Warcraft, and with the resident blonde.

There’s no way to escape the combination of insults like these,

Your chances of victory happening here are as much as Half Life 3’s.

Gordon Freeman:

My two episodes are better than the 159 you managed to pull out your ass,

I’m a hazard on land and in water, you’re a piece high school trash,

Think you can own me in Klingon? You’re just clichéd and weak.

YIDoghQo’, and bIjatlh ‘e’ yImev,  you freak.

Step in my mind, and see why even Missy can defeat you, coward.

You’re the biggest pathetic jerk-off since your old pal Howard.

Sheldon Cooper:

I can find more entertainment in Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock than your games.

With the title “One Free Man”, you shouldn’t be one to call my jokes lame.

I’ll find victory quicker than the Seven Hour War, if you step to my floor,

And knock your ass out harder than I knock on Penny’s door.

Everything about you is disgusting, you leave my unpleasantly disturbed.

Do you need some Aloe Vera? Because you just got burned.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

AWESOME RAP BATTES!

*Valve game start up noise/noise from applying Gordon's suit plays*

2.0!

Who won? Gordon Freeman Sheldon Cooper

Next battle hint: "Bursting into musical numbers doesn’t scare me, Achmed the Dead Muppet."