User blog:Bobdave/Bouffalant vs Tauros. Rap Battles of the Pokédex Season 1

Oi oi. Strange to see an RBotP so soon after the previous considering I'm pretty constipated in terms of writing at the moment but we have one. I'd probably attribute the speed of this being released to the fact that I only wrote half of it. The other half was written by our favourite person called Brendan, Brendan. In this bout, we have the all-male Wild Bull Pokémon who got an episode of the anime banned for causing the requirement of firearms versus the Bash Buffalo Pokémon sporting an afro and two massive horns: Bouffalant (played by Brendan) in a battle of horned bovine Pokémon. Also, Tauros is like the constellation Taurus and Bouffalant represents Taurus in the Unova Horoscope so there's sort of an astrology connection there or something idfk.

Inb4 "this battle made me horny or some shit".

Beat - With No Regrets by Allrounda Beats - Intro starts at 0:10

Announcer:
RAP BATTLES OF THE POKÉDEX



VS



BEGIN!

Tauros:
You wanna go? This motherfucker's tougher than a buffalo

I'm angry, I'll stampede, get covered with my brothers, yo

You can Thrash all you want, it won't help when I charge ya

Scary face? The scariest thing about it's the mascara

I'm a raucous bull with the Sheer Force of several quarterbacks

Tauros will slaughter this moron with a Horn Attack

Damage from my raw rhymes, dog, try absorbing that

My episode was banned for guns, to beat me, you'd need more than that

<span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);">Bouffalant:
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">Let’s ruffle, Bouffalant Charging in Head first to Trash ya

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">This Bash Buffalo Pokémon is about to bash ya

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">You Wild? I call Bull, even Ash managed to catch a herd of ya

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">You shut down Pokémon Play It! That’s all I ever heard of ya

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">You think you got a big Rage? Believe me, you don’t limit hate

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">And when you reach your Anger Point, you still don’t Intimidate

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">I’ll show you your blood, crimson red, just to make you go mad

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">You’re a hundred percent male, though you have no gonads

<span style="color:rgb(148,138,84);">Tauros:
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">You may have a good attack stat, but I'm twice as fast though

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">You're damn slow, fatso, pro-tip: shave the afro

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">I'm aggro from my thick mane right down to my cold hoof

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">This ugly fuck could derail a train with those looks

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">You can't survive if you dice with this tri-tailed titan

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">So high-tail it out of here, you mindless bison

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">With my sick raps, I'll leave with my dignity intact

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color:#948A54;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:128;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">You won't when I Focus Energy on a Giga Impact

<span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);">Bouffalant:
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">Are you using lines that just do not burn or did Sheer Force remove those?

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">Do you even know who you oppose, I’m a Pokémon a Champ chose

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">I’m Bouffalant, I’m gallant, valiant, my bouffant is gorgeous

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">I’m brilliant, flawless, got actual talent unlike you Tauros

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">So if you wanna lock horns with the best, be my guest, I’ll leave you wrecked

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">Wounded and grounded under my hoof, I’m soundproof, your rhymes have no effect

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">You always get Worked Up over nothing and Tail Whip yourself into a frenzy

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:rgb(102,51,0);background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-size:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-position:initial;background-repeat:initial;">I’m your improvement in style, strength and personality, I’m all you envy

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

RAP... (a herd of logo's storm in and push the announcer away)

BATTLES OF THE POKÉDEEEEEEEEEEX



Who won? Bouffalant Tauros