The Eastern Philosophers

"We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living!"

- The Eastern Philosophers

The Eastern Philosophers is a team consisting of Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius. They battled the Western Philosophers in Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers. They were portrayed by KRNFX, Timothy DeLaGhetto, and MC Jin, respectively.

Information on the rappers
Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius were philosophers from Ancient China, varying in many different occupations; Lao Tzu specialized in teaching religious beliefs such as Taoism, Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general and strategist, and Confucius was a Chinese teacher, editor, and politician. They were all born in the 6th century of the BC era during each of their respective life spans. Each of their works have been passed down and are still remembered to this day, such as Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching (道德經), Sun Tzu's The Art of War (孫子兵法), and Confucius' The Analects (論語).

Lyrics
[Note: Confucius is in gray, Lao Tzu is in yellow , and Sun Tzu is in red .]

Verse 1:
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected

From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is!

You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life.

You lack control of yourselves and of the mic.

While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration,

Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations!

We filled a nation   with patience and the presence   for living,

And you'll never hold a candle   to the wisdom we've   written!

Verse 2:
Bitch, I wrote The Art of War so you better get your guns out!

These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out!

Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS!

Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars!

Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire,

French drip with the egg noodle hair.

Your ego's just so distracting.

Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping!

And you killed God so I gotta ask:

Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?

You tried to plant a new German psyche,

But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy!

And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates!

Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology!

Verse 3:
I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity!

We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty.

(Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect,

But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!

Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today.

I'll make you move, bitch. Get out The Way!

Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written

That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?

Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place.

Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face?

Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that?

I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat!

So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies.

Confucius say, you can all hold these fortune cookies!

Sun Tzu:
In the midst of this chaos lies our opportunity!

Trivia

 * MC Jin, KRNFX, and Timothy DeLaGhetto helped with the writing of this battle.