User blog:Mortal5075/Joeaikman vs Mortal5075 - The Eigthn Official Wiki Rap Tournament Semi-Finals

[Mortal, add a cover here - Mortal]

Sup you dickwads. This is a battle. Read it. Normally I would say something funny but I am so fucking tired and we gotta do this shit til the last minute because of course we go. Fuck. However, unlike the speed of the users participating in this tourney, the battle before you is really admirable. I really think I stepped my game up compared to last two rounds so if I will hear one more comment about how I still suck I swear I will jump off a bridge. Speaking off, jumping off bridges is the drop of quality you are expecting when reading Joeaikman's verses. Joking Joe, love you, you did great too. So yea, hope you have fun reading this :)

The Beat. Its an absolute fucking banger of a beat I promise you. The producer, Ocean Beats, makes by far the best "__ type beats" I have ever heard.

The Battle
Mortal5075:

Lets count your chromosomes and compare it to the count of syndromes I saw to roast through

Count the friends that you've lost too, you'll see I top you both with rap and folks to talk to.

Or is being dommed your fetish? Please. You got a wood and get off to this?

But all that boasting is so tits, you’re a Hollywood Autist.

An aspie can't speak so he throws a fit while I spit sicker than a salmonella.

Aint got a beat so you cant beat shit, an acapella cannot cap a fella.

Lyrically fucks foes all the time but the fucking's never here, mate.

Record an audio of your verses. Now that straight up would be fucking ear rape.

Joeaikman:

I must be immortalised in Mortal's eyes if that's the best he could produce.

It seems you must love me too much to bust out any actual abuse.

I'm fed up of this, Fedora, go explore a way to properly make raps.

Should float your flows with a lifejacket, cos that shit was a planecrash.

You want to do theatre at uni? Why not flush that money down the toilet.

Cos you don't need no degree for a lifetime of unemployment.

Wankaster rejected you, so fuck off to your shithole and leave Leeds.

This has been a lyrical gangrape, but you're used to handling three Ds.

Mortal5075:

You're quite a story, I can tell, but let me now step back and Recap your Ls.

Lets List relationships on this Laydown of hell, they all Indian fell.

Lied to your Loved one just to get Laid but then straight afterwards just Legged, bro?

Another Lick on you taking L's though; Leave out the time you took on Lesbos!

Are those called Love flames or one night stays? Having a Loose dick dont mean you got game.

Were things my way the only time that you'd Lay a babe is if Fritzl was your Last name!

While you went weak on Kodi then took a week on coding.

I am like Manchester; exploding! The rap terrorist UK's foreboding.

And your goddamn ego? Oh Joe, it's bigger than your hate boner on BoJo.

Why the fuck is praising yourself your mojo when you fucking lost to JoJo?

This GoT knob's the wiki Tyrion - he's everyone's letdown, clowned and seen as a farce.

Big shock that Josef is a Haiter when his verse sounds like it came out his arse.

Joeaikman:

No response to what I spat, or were they meant to be attacks?

Meat gave better stuff against me and he didn't even react.

See I made Mortal chortle, maybe that's why he packed no retort.

Stop overcompensating, mate, and try to keep your lines short.

You're hardly famous on the Wiki, so I'm prepared to show some patience.

But try to rhyme some lines, dude, that ought to be the basics.

You relied on edgy jokes and poking fun at who I'm dating.

But I think your sister's pussy must be the special kid I'm facing.

Imma harass this asshole, bust out some lyrical beat beatings.

Channel your stepdad through my flows and leave your whole family weeping.

Your sister went native, but these Ruski bitches better leg it.

Or I'll drown you all in vodka because Brexit means Brexit.