User blog:Hippie Rat/Deadpool vs Scout

The two loudmouth jokester of their respective franchises, Marvel Comics's Deadpool against Team Fortress's Scout. Make sure to check out the spiritual successor, releasing on my blog alongside this one.

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Scout vs Deadpool! Begin!

Scout:

I don't even know how to start with you, I mean, do you even know who you're talking to?

I'm the fricking Scout, this ain't RED vs BLU.

Cause when I'm through with you, and I don't mean to be blunt,

I'll replace the red on your dress with blood.

Ooh, batter up them tumors like teleported bread,

You're left needing support from Peter Parker's web.

See my spray? This is you. When I'm through, this is true,

You're gonna wish you hadn't downloaded TF2.

You can heal fast? So can I, I'll come back übercharged,

But I'm too fast, you'll get stabbed, through your heart.

Better run, cause you're done, when Team Fortress attacks,

Because, I'm the bomb. Back on track.

Deadpool:

You don't really wanna face the Deadpool,

You'll be left face down in a red pool.

You think you're hot, you're just a tool,

Staring off at space with that mouth drool.

Who? I'm the coolest. You? You're the rudest,

Ooh, and the truth is, no track and field record could improve it.

Despite the growths under the mask, I'm hot, son,

Go back to your brothers in Boston.

I'm a Marvel, you're a cheesy distasteful scamp,

Going for one-night stands with your fried chicken tramps.

Go ahead, try to harm me, I'm a one-man army,

I'm like the Spy with a knife in your back, and you can't fricking scar me.

Scout:

I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you over the sound of you dying,

I'll beat you until you're uglier than when you were played by Ryan.

Cause seriously, you look like you ran through traffic,

You'd get a closed casket at the ugly cemetery, I'll smack it.

Ain't no other class gonna do that,

I just beat your ass, just me, and scary hat.

I'm like the Pyro, I'll leave you burnin'

What did we learn? I always win.

Deadpool:

I'm the Merc with the Mouth, you're just a joke,

Rip you off more than I did to Deathstroke.

Out of all the classes, you're the worst of them all,

Break you down like you're the fourth wall.

But don't worry, jokester, you're getting closer,

To finally gaining some intel, you little poser.

You rely on Portal, Half-Life, and Steam for fame,

TF2 sucked so much it's free to play. Hey!

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Poll
Who won? The Scout Deadpool