User blog:TKandMit/The Joker vs Deadpool. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 3 Premiere

Rest in peace, Harper Lee.

Yeah, it wasn’t Deadpool vs Deathstroke. You can all thank Cave for deceiving you. But with that, welcome to Season 3 of the Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains! This series has its own wikia now. Making it big time. Once again, I have to give a huge thanks to everyone who reads this series, and hope that I can continue the hype for this season. I also have to give a huge thanks to my good friend, Trent, who wrote for- Oh my gooood. Uh oh, I feared this would happen. Would you shut the fuck up and get on with it, already? Wade, this is my series. And this is MY battle... Timothy. Okay, okay. The (Lame as fuck!) Joker finally meets his maker when (the bad mamma jamma) DEADPOOL… comes to take him down. Who will prevail? Me, of course. I regret everything. Enjoy the battle. Help me. Nah.

Cast
Nice Peter as The Joker

Sexiest Dad Alive as Captain Deadpool! WADE. Sorry!

Michelle Glavan as Harley Quinn (story cameo)

EpicLLOYD as Joker's Henchmen (story cameos)

Story
“It’s been a month since the tragic deaths of Gotham’s Dynamic Duo: Batman and Robin. Another hero, foreign to Gotham, was found dead along with them. Identified as New York’s Rorschach, he and the other two were found to have died from poisoning; all of their throats corroded with what is assumed to be a toxic gas. Speculation drifts toward the infamous fiend, The Joker, who has somehow come to terrorize the world with similar attacks. We seem to be in a world of peril, and question if any hero can stop the Joker’s reign at this point,” The yellow track jacket clad reporter stated on television, soon flicked off.

“Haha, no problem,” a red and black hooded figure mocked, grabbing two katanas off a table in the room, and leaping out of the apartment.

“Tonight’s the night, boys!” the familiar sinister clown cheered to his horde of constituents. “Tonight’s the night I finally cripple the world! Entire nations in rage, BAT-tling each other! The havoc of it all, hehehe... it soothes me!”

The clown’s continued speech reigned through the halls of the complex. The red figure opened a door to the massive run-down building, the laughter of his target only exciting him. “Oh, someone’s touching themselves tonight,” the red assassin laughed as he loaded and cocked his pistol. He looked up and noticed a henchmen, dressed in a clown mask and overalls, standing guard of a door at the end of a hall.

The guard looked over at where the assassin stood, only seeing a small red flash. “Huh?” the guard thought as he wielded a rifle, aiming down the hall. “Who’s there?” the man barked, his finger on the trigger. Another red flash appeared behind him, as he felt a finger tap him on the shoulder. “Who the fu-?!” the guard fell silent as his head was cut off.

“And now… Harley, I’ll let you have the honors,” the all too familiar clown cackled, waving a hand to a harlequin dressed assistant.

“Haha! Thanks, puddin’!” Harley Quinn giggled, running on stage and towards a machine reeled in by henchmen. She, the clown, and all the minions before them beared gas masks, strapping them to their heads, as Quinn pressed the red button on the machine labeled “Rap Gas!”

“Hey, am I missing something?” Deadpool asked, making his way onto the scene. He held the guard’s decapitated head in one hand, his pistol in the other.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the infamous Wade Wilson, the Deadpool.” Joker laughed to himself, pleased with the challenge of the opponent standing before him.

“Deadpool.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just, Deadpool. Not “The Deadpool”. Though, you can call me Captain Deadpool, if you want. ''That’s a reference to my movie, guys! Go check it out!''”

“Eugh, you’re more annoying in person. I like it,” The Joker smiled, taking off his gas mask. “Harley, get outta here. You won’t be in a battle until Season Four.”

“But, puddin’-” “Go.” With that, Harley Quinn and the minions fled the complex, the gas filling the air around the two opponents.

“Did he just break the fucking fourth wall? Since when can you break fourth walls? Wait. A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break, that’s like… sixteen walls.”

“Ever since I got my first whiff of this gas, Wade. This stuff gives you knowledge on everything about their opponent to be, including awareness of media.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Unfortunately, this battle was written by a teenager and his friend, so we should probably get to it.”

Deadpool took out his twin katanas, more than prepared for this clown’s tricks. “Oh, you are on.”

Intro
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Versus!

Begin!

The Joker
Really?! This is the hero sent to come and get me?

This red faux Deathstroke thinks he can really save the city? (HAHAHA)

I defeated Batsy! And Kovacs, see! There’s no way you can outlast me!

Relax, DP! Your diet’s not the only thing to make you gassy! (HA)

Start laughing! We’ve got quite the show ahead of us, darling!

I’m charring Gotham with these bombings! You’ll just face disarming!

You came out on Valentine’s Day? Then this will be your Massacre!

This botched cancer cure damn sure puts the ass in assassinator!

I’m coming, armed with bars hard for the Arkham prince!

All your jokes are shit, rehashed fourth wall parlor tricks!

Leave the cuckoo killer clown king to the calamity of comedy!

Really now, Pooly? You can’t say that kind of thing on TV!

I got tricks up my sleeve! Literally! I got zappers and toy guns!

Put it there! BZZT! Hahaha! That’ll give you a buzz!

Do I really look like I have a plan?! I’m committing all sorts of wreckage!

Even this battle; it’s not about winning, it’s about sending a message!

Deadpool
Pffft! Hahahaha! Wait, you can’t be serious!

This clown wants to play games? Well then, he’s H2ODelirious!

Shady Wadey’s here to stop you. C’mon; this series you’re defiling!

Don’t put a smile on my face here, cause I’m already smiling!!

At this joke of a Joker; laughing like a stoner,

With the look of Ronald and the voice of a smoker.

Harley? Well you own her just to lose your boner

But when I’m through with you here, well, you might just need a donor

The Weapon X best, raining steel upon ya!

Spittin’ supah hot rhymes like a chimi-fucking-changa!

I’m here to stop THIS pathetic madness. I’m ready. I’m able.

And I’ll disconnect this mentally unstable… Cable. (Ha!)

I’ll take my sweet gats and blast off the clown prince’s crown

I’m the one “red hood” that you could never beat down

A Death in the DC Family! I find his Endgame enjoying,

But this is coming from ME: I find this fucked up fool annoying.

The Joker
I gas a couple people, nobody panics. Because, I’ve done it so many times.

But, I kill two super heroes? Well then, everyone loses their minds!

I’m just losing my face! No matter the cage, I’m breaking outta those places!

You gotta pick up the pace, Wade! You’re not brave for picking up the traces!

Ahh, what the heck! I got that Joker tech that’ll keep you in check!

This jest comes perfect! The deck that’ll leave you crawling back to Quebec!

Lightning fast! You might as well be a hype-man for Spider-Man on crack,

Whose tried act got typecasted the second Green Lantern turned whack!

Seriously, how can I be your enemy? I’ll just make you a Mini-Me!

It's too late for that, Deadpool! Truly… you complete me!!

HAHA! This goon’s right! I’m bringing you a new fright!

Let me ask you, friend! Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Deadpool
Constantly beaten by flying rodents and kitties?

Personally? I liked you better when you died in the city.

Battling me verbally? Well, that’s kinda what I’m all about.

So J against DP? Bitch, I’m the fucking Merc with the Mouth!

But I don’t JUST have the wits to win. I’m a seasoned cold killer.

You mess with Batsy’s family? I’d be a real Joe Chill-er!

An unpredictable regen-degenerate spittin’ bars!

You talk about wounds? (*pulls off mask*) You wanna know how I got THESE scars?

I was experimented on; Killebrew scarring my tissue!

With several other tortures that could take up several issues

So maybe don’t talk about insanity, ‘cause you’ve got dick to say!

The reason YOU went crazy was ‘cause of ONE bad day!

Who won?!

Who's next?!



Who won? The Joker Deadpool, duh

Author's Note
Once again, I'm very thankful for everyone who follows this series. Hopefully, this started the season off strong.