User blog:Wachowman/Borderlands: Total Walking Wiki Kombat! (Wachows 3 Year Anniversary Special)

Wachow 3 Year Special.

(Steeler, Joe, Tiger and ROB from Wiki Tales are seen sleeping in a completely black world)

Steeler: *snores*

Joe: uhg, umph.

ROB:...

Tiger: *eyes slowly open* uhg...where am I?

(Tiger looks around to see his partners and a completely black world)

Tiger: g-guys?! Where are we?

Steeler: wha-? Why you gotta fucking yell.

Joe: *wakes up* W-Wonder?

(Joe and Steeler look around)

Joe: where are we?!

ROB: I've actually b-been awake f-for at least 10 hours now!

Tiger: ROB! Why didn't you wake us!

ROB: you all looked s-so peaceful for once and your-r l-life.

Steeler: why is everything black?!

Joe: This must be Wachows doing.

Steeler: is this Wachows doing?

Joe: I like just fucking said that.

Tiger: hold up, how would Wachow do this? He just ran away from us when he-...killed Wonder.

Joe:...

Steeler:...hey! Maybe I can call Patts!

(Steeler types Patts' number into his ECHO)

(Steeler tries to call Patts on his ECHO but only hears static)

Steeler: fuck, I got no signal.

Tiger: do we walk I guess?

ROB: w-we don't really have any other ch-choice.

Tiger: then let's go.

(The group starts walking in a blind direction)

...

(Screen shows Noah, Metal, Joe and TK from The Walking Wiki inside the same black world)

Metal: I can't even tell if we're actually moving in a direction.

TK: he's right, it just looks like we're walking into nothing, maybe not even moving anywhere.

Noah: this is just too strange.

TK: you're saying that? We thought you and Metal were dead!

Joe: so what then? We stop walking and hope something...finds us?

TK: I'm not sure, I'm not even sure what this is, this has to be a dream.

Noah: it's not a dream, I'm right here and I know it's me and I know you're, you.

TK: how are you sure?

Noah:...I suppose I don't, but I'm actually hoping you're right, we have no clue what's going on and the only physical explanation would be this being a dream.

Metal: there has to be something, even if it was a dream how did we all sync up into the same dream?!

TK: possibly...Legion.

Joe: Legion? How?

TK: maybe we went to War, he captured us and we don't remember, maybe he-...no, that's ridiculous, this-this isn't real! It can't be!

Joe: calm down TK!

Metal: guys lets just keep walking, maybe we'll eventually find something out.

TK: yeah, he's right.

Noah: so we keep walking then?

Metal: maybe we'll find something, we sure as hell won't find anything staying in the same place that's for sure.

Noah: I suppose you have a point.

TK: no, he does, let's go.

(The group starts to walk in a blind direction)

Metal:...please let us find something...

...

(Screen shows Trixter, Leandro, Munkitteh and Flats from Wiki Kombat in the same black world)

Trixter: not really sure what's happening here.

Leandro: this has to be Wachows work!

Flats: no, Wachow would never put me in the same location as you, let alone one so...discrete.

Bantha: I'm scared of the dark! Tigger, me want to go home!

Trixter: out of all the things to be stuck with...

Tiger: please, calm down Bantha, we don't know how to leave, just close your eyes.

(Bantha closes his eyes)

Bantha: I see the same!

Tiger: it's different Bantha.

Bantha: no!

Flats: shut up both of you!

Leandro: can we please find out what's going on?

Trixter: I can't sense anything, but we aren't alone.

Leandro: what do you mean we aren't alone?

Trixter: there are others, they're walking towards us, both of them.

Tiger: how many?

Trixter: I sense at least...11 people...8 of them approaching us.

Leandro: so we just sit tight?

Trixter: it appears so, but be on your guard, I doubt these people are friendly.

Flats: even if they are, I want answers and I bet they know what's happening.

Tiger: he's right, fight later, we need answers now.

Trixter: then...we wait...

...

(Screen shows The Walking Wiki group and the Wiki Tales group approaching the Wiki Kombat group)

Flats: heads up.

Tiger WK: well here we go.

(The groups all meet in the middle)

Joe TWW: woah!

TK: you guys came out of no where, literally!

Leandro: greetings.

Steeler: *aims gun* hold up, who are you!

Joe WT: woah woah Steeler, they aren't attacking us.

(Noah and TK aim their guns)

Noah: unless you give us a reason to.

TK: we can all get along.

Flats: what he said, we won't kill you unless you attack us.

Tiger WT: what makes you think you'll win?

(Flats pulls out and points his giant knife at Tiger)

Flats: I just know.

(The Walking Wiki group aims their guns at Flats)

Metal: put...that away.

Joe TWW: if you know what's good for you.

Flats: you gunna kill me?

(Flats points his knife at Joe now)

Flats: your guns won't even hurt me.

Tiger WT: *aims his gun* put that away! We just want to talk.

ROB: *takes out Rocket Launcher* d-don't make us-s fight you, no one wants t-to die today.

Flats:...

Leandro: Flats...calm down.

Flats:...

(Flats puts away his knife)

Flats: then give us answers.

Joe WT: what answers?

Tiger WK: Flats, I don't think they know where we are either.

Metal: wait, you guys don't know either?

TK: I thought we finally found something.

Steeler: well that's just fucking rude.

Tiger WT: I'm still positive Wachow is behind this.

Noah: Wait, Wachow?

Joe TWW: how do you know Wachow? We killed him almost a year ago.

Joe WT: ha! That's fucking rich, we were the closest to ever killing Wachow.

Flats: what are you idiots talking about? No one has ever fought Wachow and lived.

Metal: his head was cut-off in front of me, who are you talking about?

Tiger WK: he's immortal, no way anything you people have can kill him.

Steeler: he ain't immortal, you just need some Crozon, that shit basically cuts right through him.

Leandro: the hell is Crozon?

Bantha: this is a Crozon!

(Bantha pulls out a piece of Crozon)

Tiger WT: h-how did you get that?!

Bantha: back in Wikuary where we can wish for whatever we want, I was saying random words and poof! This purple rock appeared in my lap!

Joe WT: I understood none of that.

Noah: listen, I doubt were talking about the same person, the Wachow we know was decapitated by our friend Patts.

Flats: you're talking about Wachow, Wachow Man?

Noah: Joe, what was his last name?

Joe WT: how the fuck should I know?

Joe TWW: he's talking to me.

Joe WT: he said Joe.

Joe TWW: yeah, that's my name.

Joe WT: your name is Joe too?

Noah: Joe! What's his last name?!

Joe TWW: uh...yeah, it was Man, Wachow Man.

Flats: that's bullshit.

Joe TWW: actually no, I was apart of his community, I would know.

Leandro: what about you guys?

Steeler: *looks at Joe* uhhh.

Joe WT: *looks at Tiger* Tiger?

Tiger WT: *looks at ROB* ROB, you got anything?

ROB: *eyes start to glow* let me ch-check-k.

Trixter: your Robot has a stutter?

ROB: Wachow has n-no last name as far as I can t-tell!

Joe WT: yeah, he's always just been known as Wachow, nothing more.

Steeler: he killed our friend Wonder.

Flats: I couldn't count how many people he's killed.

Metal: he's killed too many of us, DWAS, Torch, YTK, it was his fault Coupe died.

Tiger WT: it sounds like we're all talking about the same person if you ask me.

???: you're all wrong and right at the same time.

Leandro: that voice!

(Wachow from Wiki Kombat appears in front of all the groups)

Flats: Wachow!

Trixter: I knew this was your doing!

Joe TWW: that's Wachow?

Steeler: he looks nothing like our Wachow!

Wachow WK: yes, this is partially my plan...partially.

(Both other Wachows appear)

Wachow TWW: it feels great to be back.

Wachow WT: and in control.

Noah: Wachow?!

TK: that's Wachow?!

Tiger WK: there's 3 of you?!

Metal: that's impossible, you died!

Wachow TWW: well thanks to my new friends, I was brought back from the dead, helping me with my revenge.

Joe WT: and you! You killed Wonder!

Wachow WT: ah yes, I did didn't I.

Tiger WT: then you ran away like a scared girl!

Wachow WT: now that, that is not true, sure I escaped but I had every reason to, to form my next plan.

Tiger WT: and what would that be?

Wachow WT: wait until Season 2 to find out.

Steeler: I'm pretty sure we're cancelled.

Wachow WT: ahahaha-wait what?

Steeler: yep, pretty sure there won't be a Season 2.

Wachow WT: but people fucking loved this series!

Steeler: yeah, it really is bullshit to be honest.

Tiger WK: what are you people talking about?

Wachow WK: but don't worry, we aren't alone.

(Lak, Tesla and Killer all appear behind the Wachows)

Lak: I'm back baby.

Flats: shit.

Leandro: Lak?! But...I killed you.

Lak: think again Picasso.

Joe TWW: shit, Tesla?!

TK: who the hell is that?!

ROB: K-Killer as well!

Wachow TWW: you didn't think we'd come alone did you? I mean if you attacked us it'd be a 3v12, no thank you.

Bantha: hey! I count too!

Wachow TWW: sure, whatever retarded monkey thing.

Killer: I left Wachow at our left fight for one reason, we weren't gunna win,my oh already killer Coupe, Four, Peter and Lloyd, I was defiantly next, so once Wachow brought up a new plan I hoped right in.

Wachow WK: good thing he did too, bring people back to life isn't the easiest thing.

Noah: bringing the, back to life?...

TK:...no...

Tesla: feels great to be back though, didn't feel like I made such an impact on you guys.

Joe TWW: if any of you think you'll win this you're all wrong, you're better off putting everything back to normal!

Noah: we killed you once Wachow! We can do it again, you too Tesla.

Tesla: cute.

Wachow TWW: they don't realize what's even happening.

Leandro: what do you mean?

Wachow WT: we aren't here to fight you, we're here to show you that Wachow is always in control.

TK: the fuck does that mean?

Wachow WK: we'll explain later, but first off, we want to have some fun.

(A flash of light is seen)

(Screen shows the Total Drama Wiki island)

(The 3 groups and 3 Wachows all appear on the island)

Tiger WT: what the fuck?

Wachow TWW: just wait, it'll all make sense eventually.

Wachow WK: I'd like you to meet another friend of ours, Wachow.

(Wachow from Total Drama Wiki appears with Tbone)

Wachow TDW: well then, isn't it great to be back on the big screen!

Tbone: if these Wiki Tale people were talking about being cancelled, they don't know shit.

Trixter: another Wachow? What are you 4 planning?

Wachow TDW: I'm not planning anything, I'm just a spokesman, now if you'd let me finish.

(Wachow TDW pulls out a notecard)

Wachow TDW: greeting Survivors! Travelers! And Fighters! You all lost today's challenge so it's time to vote!

Joe WT: lost?

Flats: what is this?

Leandro: vote for what?

Tbone: shut up and let him finish!

Flats: who do you think you are?

Wachow WK: silence!

(Everyone gets quiet)

Wachow TDW: thank you, Wachow, anyways, you will all vote off one User whom will be sent to death via one of the Wachows.

Trixter: and what if we don't vote?

Wachow TWW: if you don't vote, then these 8 Mortals-

(Wachow TWW points at the The Walking Wiki and Wiki Tale groups)

Wachow TWW: -will all be executed.

Flats: doesn't bother me one bit.

Trixter: me either.

Leandro: no, we can't do that.

Tiger WK: he's right, we can't allow these people to die just cause you couldn't play their game.

Trixter: they're still killing someone.

Tiger WK: that's better than 8 of them.

Bantha: We did vote before but Flats made it not matter by leaving then coming back and killing useless Legion guy!

Joe WT: what is that thing.

Tiger WK: just ignore him.

Noah: Wachows! What's your game here?!

Wachow WK: oh you'll see.

Wachow TWW: you'll all see.

Wachow WT: the fuck, I didn't know we were finishing each other sentences!

Wachow WK: were you really the main villain?

Wachow TWW: did that side-character just tell us to shiut up?

Tbone: shut up!

Wachow TDW: thank you Tbone, well no use in stalling, let's get voting!

Confessional Cam
Trixter: uhg, this is fucking stupid.

(Static)

ROB: I-I don't w-want to vote anyone, b-but...

(Static)

Steeler: biggest fucking waste of time, I don't see why we just don't kill them.

(Static)

Noah: I can't believe we're doing this, but like he said, we don't have magical powers like the rest of them, they'd kill us instantly.

(Static)

Leandro:...I don't know who to vote, can I vote Wachow? Does it work like that?

(Static)

Bantha: I vote for you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you-you'd really think they'd put a limit on voting-and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, I'll vote for you twice, actually, three time! No! Four!

(Static)

(Screen shows all the Users awaiting the votes)

Wachow TDW: well, I've counted the votes, and let me say I'm very surprised, but nonetheless I have to do my job and that's what I'm going to do so the first people safe are...the whole Wiki Tales group of Steeler, Joe WT, Tiger WT, and ROB.

Joe WT: oh shit.

Steeler: hell yeah!

Wachow TDW: the next people safe are...Tiger WK, Bantha, Trixter, Noah and Metal.

Bantha: woo woo we win game more!

Trixter: whatever.

Wachow TDW: We're down to Flats, Leandro, Joe TWW and TK...the next safe is...TK and Leandro.

Leandro: thank god.

TK: fine.

(Screen shows Flats and Joe TWW)

Wachow WK: don't think about killing this one Flats, that's not an option this time.

(Flats' knife disappears)

Flats: hey!

Wachow WK: stay calm until the vote.

Wachow TDW: and the first death of today will be...

Flats:...

Joe TWW:...

Wachow TDW:...preformed by our very own, Wachow from Wiki Tales!

(A crowd applause noise is heard as Wachow WT waves in various directions)

Wachow WT: thank you, thank you.

TK: you're one of those people.

Wachow TDW: anyways, today's loser is...

Flats:...

Joe TWW:...

Wachow TDW:....Joe From The Walking Wiki!

Joe TWW: wait what?!

Noah: No!

Wachow WT: I'll make this quick.

Joe: TWW: you can't do th-

(Joe TWW's neck is instantly snapped as Joe falls to the ground, dead)

Metal: Joe!

TK: no way!

Tiger WT: holy shit...

Noah: you motherfuckers!

(Noah reaches for his gun but it isn't there)

Noah: wha-

Wachow: WT: shut up and be happy I made it quick.

Wachow WK: much better than what I would've done.

Wachow TDW: well that's it for today's episode, come back next time to see what happens, will Noah get revenge for Joes death? Will Flats or Trixter attack the Wachows? And who is the next to die, right here, next time on-

BORDERLANDS:

TOTAL

WALKING

WIKI

KOMBAT

Joe: hey wait, can I get rid of the "WT" now?

Wachow TDW: it's already gone.

Joe: oh, cool, thanks.

To Be Continued...