User blog:RespectThePixel/Houndoom vs Absol - PokeRap Battles 1

Oy! With all this Mind stuff going on, I decided to lighten the mood a bit with a startup to my new series, PokeRap Battles! I love me some Pokemon, and I love me some ERB, so why the fuck not? Let's go.

Teh Battel
POKE RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!

ABSOL!!!!!

VS!!!!!!

HOUNDOOM!!!!!!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

Houndoom:
Start off with a BANG, Fire Fang, and dang, son,

Your emo hair isn't gonna get you any attention.

Crunch! Eating all the hits you give me, don't affect me,

You know I'm the better Dark-type, you don't even have to test me!

Hit you hard with a Flamethrower to the face, man,

Think you're gonna win by using Aerial Ace, man?

Dark Pulse, you flinch, like the pussy you are.

Can't even take a simple hit, bitch, you're not going far.

Absol:
You're just a natural disaster, I can sense it.

I'll stop you before you can even get a hit on me, you dense shit.

I see the fire in your eyes, yet it's only a mere Ember.

Take anything you throw with a Magic Bounce, return to sender.

I got a variety of moves, I wouldn't call this a fair fight.

Finishing off your rhymes with a Slash in the Night.

I Dance with the Swords, my swords just dance at you.

You have no place here, just go back to howling at the moon.

Houndoom:
(Mega Evolves)

See these bones on my body now? That's the skeletons of my foes,

I come straight from Hell. How I did? No one knows.

I'm a Solar Powered, sun-boosted Fire Blast with more Special Attack

And when you Mega Evolve, all you get is a bit more stats.

I've a Nasty Plot that you fall, couldn't sense this disaster,

I'm a true, mean, Dark-type, only used by masters.

You're Absol-utely not winning this battle, no way in Hell.

I've got this Mega Evolution, and I certainly use it well.

Absol:
(Mega Evolves)

Sucker Punched. You should've realized I can do that, too.

With your mediocre stats, I'd get a Substitute to rap for you.

These wings of the angels show you shouldn't mess with me.

And when it comes to Dark-types, son, I'm the best there can ever be.

You feel the Pressure? Feel the pain? Glad you finally see

That I'm better than you in every way, from design to abilities.

And I feel Justified knowing that you accept defeat.

Dark wins over the Dog, that's the way it will always be.

WHO WON???

WHO'S NEXT???

YOU DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!

POKE RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who won? Absol Houndoom