User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 33: Advice Dog vs Doge 3

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles!

Cyan's Rap Battles Season 3! Woo!

Yeas, this battle was supposed to be tomorrow, but I won't really have a chance tomorrow as I'm working then going straight to a New Year's party, so It's going up today.

Next week, expect the premier of Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature Season 3 to be brought down upon you!

This battle features, for the third time, Advice Dog vs Doge, to see which canine meme will take the championship home. Will Doge retain, or will Advice Dog finally get his paws on the prize?

Enjoy!

Beat: Just Me

Advice Dog
(starts at 0:33)

Round three, bitch! Now you’re officially a meme of the past

Too young to be a classic, but you’re too old to last

In the last round I gave a verse to a mere offshoot of myself

But you needed to go running to a Creepypasta for help!

There’s a point where you needed to stop and we’ve clearly passed it!

Hey, I hear there’s some candy in the medicine cabinet

Here’s my final advice; why not wear a blindfold while ironing,

Then try and answer the phone? All the while I’ll be smiling

Doge
(starts at 0:54)

wow! uve lost 2wice. wen wil u ever lern?

evry champyun shot u take, u’ll just get much burnd!

I’m going 4 teh hattrick! “3/3 -IGN”

u say im a retard? wen hav u evar made sense?

u sed im cancer? u mean like the 4channers who ruined u?

fite me, fgt. Im navy seal trained. make u drink thru a “series of tubes”

this iznt 2006 anymor. very aged badly. much unfunny

and ur bakgrond is so shit it givs me bad tummy

Red Lobster & Dog Fort
(new beat starts at 0:14)

Dog Fort. Come in Dog Fort. This is Red Lobster

This is Dog Fort. Reading you loud and clear, Red Lobster

Advice Dog and Doge are having another battle rap

They're using the last dregs of material, and it's just crap!

It just sounds like an argument between two first graders

Didn't they learn rap trilogies end badly from Hitler vs Vader?

Understood, Red Lobster. Vacate the championship completely

Give the other dog memes a shot. Effective immediately!

Staines, The Cupcake Dog
(new beatstarts at 0:22)

I've seen some shit, but this is the worst!

These are the two figureheads to which dog memes have been cursed?

The resident dog meme of youtube is suffering a heartbreak!

I got more views than you two by just staring at cupcakes!

You're a Staine on the name of all internet canines

But I'll dramatic stare you both until you're one the decline

You'll share my flashbacks of horror once I'm finished with my verse

The data you're made from will crumble and disperse!

Phteven
(starts at 0:45)

Check your inthtagram! It's Phteven! This battle will be easy!

I Tuna MeltTheHeart of everyone who ever sees me!

Whether I'm posing for pics or (awkward) walking in boots,

To even rapping with a lisp, bitch, I'm still cute!

Riley, The Birthday Dog
(starts at 0:57)

I'm so high right now, but it's my birthday so bite me!

Got some cake in front of me. You want it? Fight me!

I blew up on Buzzfeed, and you won't believe what happened next!

I'm one of the most memetic dogs in the real world! Top kek!

Remi
(beat stops)

("Remi, come")

("Remi, sit")

("Speak")

(starts at 1:08)

Fuck! This little husky puppy's gotta teach old dogs new tricks?

This is 2015, nigga! It's all about Thug Life up in this bitch!

I'm from Vine! I only need six seconds to make peeps like this!

Whereas you ugly mutts assault their eyes like Iridocyclitis

Bruh! You ain't cute! Why the fuck you lyin'?

WHAT ARE THOSE?!!! Just go back to IRL and stop trying

So you better think twice before you face me in an arena

You can suck on Deez Nuts cuz I'm the son of JOHN CENA!

Pun Dog
(starts at 1:31)

Doge's championship has been vacated? That sure was ruff!

This'll give me a chance to show off my pun-ny stuff!

Did you hear about Riley? He...weed...on the bed!

And Phteven got fed twice...because of something he thaid! (said)

Remi hung himself. I guess his vine must have....looped

And Cupcake Dog looks like that 'cuz the floor's...Stained with his poop!

You've been a wonderful audience! I'm going for a doggy nap.

Show's over people....that's a rap!

Advice Dog & Doge
(starts at 1:54)

It sucks that one of those losers will walk away with the gold...

yeh. very suck. they dont no the best ways are the old

ur the father of all of tehm, Advice Dog. this is shamful consipre

You're right, Doge! Together, let's show these mongrels some Lyrical Fire!

(old beat starts at 0:21)

Let's start with the blatant rip-off of Dramatic Chipmunk

much emotion. such pain. very pretentious. so junk.

Who the fuck has heard of Phteven? you're not even in our league!

so much birthday. such high. very overrated, shit meme!

And Remi? He just regurgitates cancerous vine trends!

wow! this puppys definitly not teh internets best frend!

And you're not funny, Pun Dog. Is this the best you could do, Dog Fort?

without us two, dog memes compared 2 cat memes wud really come up short!

(Advice Dog and Doge walk off together into the sunset (and then they had sex) )

Poll
WHO WON? Cupcake Dog Phteven Riley Remi Pun Dog Advice Dog Doge