User blog:Hippie Rat/The Avengers vs The Justice League

My season one finale. This one was so chaotic I had to make a key and learn how to do colored text (hopefully I did it correctly). Holy shit it was a pain to set up the battle. Writing these battles are typically fun, especially when things are just coming to you easily, but setups like these so you understand who's saying what are annoying as fuck. Anyway, without further ado, Marvel Comics's main superhero team The Avengers vs Detective Comics's main superhero team The Justice League.

Key
Captain America/Superman

Iron Man/Batman

Black Widow/Wonder Woman

Hulk/Robin

Hawkeye

Thor

Nick Fury

Quicksilver

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! The Avengers vs The Justice League! Begin!

The Avengers:

I am sick of motherfucking DC! Is that too sophisticated?

Alright. Code Green, Avengers Initiative.

Avengers, assemble! Make Justice League tremble!

More than when their parents died. I don't dwell on the past.

This shit's Quicksilver fast. Bet you didn't see that coming.

Ain't that kick-ass? Language! Time ta get Hulk-busting.

A move on this joint, Hulk smash and stomp the house,

You don't like me mad, I'm bad, you're a bat, a nerd, a louse.

Barton's goin hardening the sharpshooter super,

While Robin Hood here should stick to his Queen entrepreneur.

Move aside, boys, let an empowering woman rock the mic,

You're a pawn getting bitten by a паук calling truth lasso a lie.

I'm a god, I'm flyting with a trochee,

Lord of Lightning, while you're getting Loki'd.

Okay Batso, time to let a real star Stark start sparks,

Never in the same room as Wayne, but he belongs in Arkham.

You're just another pretty face facing the super soldier spitting Kryptonite,

I'll take your fortress, put in solitude, no salute, frozen in ice.

GG, DC, yo Sherlock, you're myths, not legends,

You'll destroy populations for yourselves, I think they need avenged.

Justice League:

How cute, you losers consider yourselves big and bulk,

Well, homies, that rhyme scheme was scarier than the Hulk.

Good luck avenging this, Brucey will be pissed,

Cause he can't match to our army, face the dawn of justice.

I am the night, so you best head toward the light,

I bring thugs like you fright, even if faking my death is in the right.

Yo, Robin, you think they should've made the Dark Knight rise?

Holy Teen Titans, Batman, I..haven't even heard of these guys.

Look up in the sky, ain't a bird nor plane, feel the pain,

Reflect bullets off my brain and jog alongside a train.

An Uncle Sam wannabe, don't deserve to wear red, white, and blue,

You're too old, you ain't cold, yo I can see right through you.

You're messing with a princess, I'm facing against eye candy,

So go back to Cinderella and the rest of Disney.

Because that's what you get when you messin' with royalty,

Lara Croft getting lost in the Amazon, now bow down to me.

Avengers:

We're taking down gods, robots, and space pimps, who do you fight?

Jim Carrey, a clown, a couple stray cats, and a bald guy.

We respect our whole squad, right down to the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Stomping HYDRA, man, we're thunder like the hammer you're not worthy to wield.

Justice League:

You all act like hot stuff while I'm straight-up powered by the sun,

We rock the best cinematic universe since before Batman begun.

Avengers better surrender against the Justice League or,

You bitches gonna lose the Infinity War.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Poll
Who won? The Avengers The Justice League