Captain Kirk

Captain Kirk battled Christopher Columbus in Epic Rap Battles of History 14 and was played by Lloyd Ahlquist.

Verse 1:
I'm the Enterprising Captain James Tiberius Kirk,

Representing Riverside Iowa, planet Earth,

I hear you call yourself an explorer but I'm just not having it, you...

Discovered a new world that was already inhabited!

Why don't you boldly go somewhere you've never gone before?

Like India or any destination you've actually set sail for,

You spaghetti eating fuck, how's your spice-rack doing?

I'll be chilling in my spaceship, have fun canoeing.

Verse 2:
Mr. Spock, beam me back to 1492,

So I can beat this man like it's my job,

We'll see how Isabella likes my captain's log,

It's Kobayashi for you, there's no way you could win,

When your weak crew sees me approaching, they'll be like "Dammit, it's Jim!"

I'll double-fist punch you, you slave-making bitch, Now take your genocidal ass off of my bridge.

Facts:
Lieutenant Sulu, a member or Kirk's team on Star Trek makes a brief non-speaking appearance during the video and is played by Jon Na. Spock, played by Omar Gharaibeh also had a bigger non-speaking appearence during the video