User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Addams vs Munster. Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5 Father's Day Special

Heyo. Happy Father's Day! None of you are fathers. None. Except Wach. But he left. None of you. So Happy Father's Day to your dad's. Unless you don't have a dad worth celebrating. In which case, call me daddy. On second case, don't do that. Anyways, here's another episode of Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5, naturally being a Father's Day Special to accommodate for the holiday. Like Cave, this battle is short in length. But, I had a lot of fun writing it. Turns out, writing for dark and brooding characters every single goddamn battle starts to grate on you a little bit. Everything for this battle, including the visuals, the beat, and the actual battle itself, were written yesterday. I knew Father's Day was this weekend but I had totally forgotten I wanted to do this battle for it so you can say it's rushed, but I wanted to do it anyways so bare with me. All that rambling aside, to celebrate the holiday, two of the worst TV dad's since Peter Griffin go head to head - Head of the Addams Household, Gomez Addams raps against the fourth version ofFrankenstein's Monster in this series, Herman Munster, to settle the classic rivalry of who's the better grimdark sitcom TV dad. Shout-out to the multiple people who suggested this, I only included comments from Legion and John on the endslate, but I know GIR, Night and Leandro wanted it as well. Hope you enjoy. I have no idea when the mid-season finale will be done.

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!



VS!



BEGIN!

Gomez Addams:
It’s Showtime! You want to square off with the Addams?

Preposterous! This monster is not but an imposter of Adam

So let me at ‘em! Spotless lawyer AND dad doctor,

If Pee-Wee tries to peeve me, he’ll really see a Mad Father!

Perfect Record! Better pick up the radio phone,

I go Ham on Sam so Munster, Go Home!

Tell your Hot Topic rocking goth kid he’s adopted,

Since the nuts stuck in Herman’s Head are the only one’s he’s got!

Herman Munster:
That’s enough Fester-ing lecturing, hope you’ve got thick-skin,

This Morticia-n is diggin’ a grave for this dimwit’s win!

Lightning strike on the mic, you’re smoked like your addiction,

For being the worst patriarchal Homer since Simpson!

Here Come the Munster’s Bar Exams and you’re Least Likely to Succeed ‘em

I’ve seen more alive flows inside a mausoleum,

Their house is a museum, but people don’t come to see ‘em

Because their Valueless Movie really WAS a scree-am!

Gomez Addams:
Good grief! You want me to beef with your freaks?

Wednesday could tread over Eddie any day of the week!

I don’t remember pulling the chatty ring of this dolly,

But not before long, the Green Giant won’t be so jolly!

Herman Munster:
I stab back like the thorns your wife plucks off of roses,

Since the world only needs one tone-deaf Gomez

You bring in the fam’s stacks, I won’t reprimand that

But no amount of this man’s cash can buy his fans back

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!

Outro


Who won? Gomez Addams Herman Munster