User blog:NeoBranwen711/Neo Reviews: Super Mario Odyssey

im flipping the switch

get ready for this

i am not a mario fan

this is not to say i dislike mario

but i do not really get hype for mario games

i really liked mario galaxy 2

and 3D land was fun

and i played Sunshine as a kid

and i dabbled in his non platforming ventures

but i do not usually buy every single mario game that comes out

i bought this one

it looked cool

it was cool

lets delve in mory

there is SPOILERS in this review, don't read if you dont want to get spoiled on a mario game!

STORY
bowser kidnaps peach

he wants to fuck marry  kill her

its neat because the game starts with mario and bowser fighting

but o no! bowser beats mario!

and destroys his hat!

!

so mario ends up in tim burton world which is populated with hat ghosts

one of these ghosts is cappy

and he posesses mario's cap (what's left of it that is) and becomes his buddy for the journey because bowser also kidnapped cappy's sister tiara, who is incredibly unimportant in the story

so off they go on a GLOBE TROTTING ADVENTURE across OVER 10 UNIQUE WORLDS

you can guess how it ends

so long gay bowser

Gameplay
wow gee golly its like sunshine and 64 had a modern baby its fuckin great

there are open worlds, but when you get a moon (the star equivelent in this game, dunno why they didnt just use stars, well i think i know, will mention later) you don't get kicked out of the kingdom, so you can keep on a going without pause

every kingdom you have to get a certain number of moons to move on and they're all over the fucking place

its kinda dumb because you'll do a super hard platforming thing and get a moon

then talk to a person and get a moon

not really equal there

there are multi moons which you get for finishing the main objective(s) of the kingdom, usually a boss fight

speaking of, the boss fights are really good actually

in each kingdom (except for like 3 i think) you fight a broodal, which are these rabbit things bowser hired as wedding planners

you fight each twice and they each have a different weakness

besides them, most kingdoms have a secondary boss fight, and they're usually way better than the broodals, especially when you have to use your capture ability to beat them

WOW SPEAKING OF

cappy can be thrown at things

then you posess them

its the gimmick of the game

he can also be used for movement and stuff (the movement in this game is really good btw) and is overall a pretty nitfty thing

there are some sunshine esque things where you have to do a platforming thing without cappy, and those are neat

also i suck at them

there are 52 (technically) things to posess, but a lot are one time things, or fucking dumb

like you posess a giant hunk of steak at one point

and your ability is you get to "twitch"

good stuff

but then at the fuckin end

you get to posess BOWSER and its fuckin rad

overall gameplay is very good very fun would recommend

i dont fucking know
heres the rest of the shit ill talk about

theres like

13 kingdoms

most are good

some have a lot less moons than others, and are smol

then theres ones like new donk city which is just FAB and fookin massive

lake kingdom is garbage

every kingdom (except for the 2 intermission boss fight kingdoms) has a crazy cap store where you can buy hats and outfits for mario

my favorites are samurai mario, scientist mario, caveman mario and FUCKING SUPER MARIO 64 MARIO POLYGONS AND ALL HOLY SHIT

there is a costume where its mario in his boxers

you can see his nipples

wow very crazy this is a great meme

you can also buy moons at the CCs

before you beat the game you can only buy 1

after you beat it you can buy as many as you can afford

good shit

there are costumes you unlock after getting a certain amount of moons

or by using amiibo

these include the waaa brothers, loogey, doctor mario, diddy kong for some fuckin reason, and wedding peach and bowser costumes

yes you get to put mario in a wedding dress

after you beat the game lots of stuff happens

each world has like

a moon cube

and you cant do shit with them before you beat the game

after you beat the game, they glow and shit and you can break them

BAM

lots more moons in kingdoms

well

usually lots more

sometimes its only like 15 and eh

you also unlock the mushroom kingdom

which is like the outside of peach's castle from mario 64, but altered a bit

it even has yoshi!

theres some more shit but eh

time to wrap it up

so long gay users
should you buy mario odyssey?

i mean

if you look at it

and think it looks fun

and my shit assesment convinces you its good

sure

i think the hype for this was much more deserved than BotW,  but thats a sticky bowl of porridge for another day

honestly after i beat the game, i havent felt much incentive to keep collecting moons besides wanting the wario and waluigi costumes, but im sure some people will climax over the collectable aspect

overall, i give super mario odyssey an 8.5 out of ten

remember caves critiques

good times