User blog:TCalderon/Bowser vs Darth Vader - Rap Battle

Those last two battles of mine were pretty big and long, huh? I dunno about you, but I could go for something a little more simple this time around. Plus, I haven't written for a villain since... huh, Frieza vs Palpatine, my first battle. And would you look at that, my second battle to feature villain also happens to feature my second Star Wars character! Yay!

Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith, and Bowser, the archenemy of Mario. These two battle it out to see which villainous father is superior!

RAP BATTLE!!!!!!

BOWSER

VS

DARTH VADER

BEGIN!!!

Darth Vader:

I sense a disturbance; I’m challenged by another tyrant,

Who would spit a wack flow, and then he’s suddenly silenced

With whole armies at my side, you’ll find your efforts to be futile

Coming at me with a squad made up of funguses and turtles!

It’s obvious who’s superior when comparing our notes,

I destroy whole planets, while you trying to rule over Toads

I’m a galactic ruler with a tendency to get malicious

'''Try to take me on? I’d take your Paper version more serious!'''

Bowser:

I’ll smash you like the Star Road when you face this final battle!

Sorry Darth, but your victory is in another castle!

All those shots you threw at me are about as spot-on as your henchman’s

I’m a bombastic boss, well you are lesser than a Death Egg, Man!

Keeping it in the family is the one place you don’t succeed!

We may both be evil dads, but my kids actually like me!

Dressed up in black armor and in blood is where you relish

Is it just me, or does that sound like some kinda S&M fetish?!

You gave up everything you ever had, then all of that soon changed,

Then betrayed the Jedi Order just to get some poontang?!

'''I’m a certified ruler while you kiss up to the Emperor's feet! '''

I’d tear your whole fanbase in half, but Disney did it for me!

Darth Vader:

I find your lack of good disses to be quite disturbing

I leave rebellions squirming, while the Princess finds you a burden!

Got a cold flow; frostier than the ice planet of Hoth 

Found more appeal when you were a crossdressing goth!

Some have tried, but there’ll be no succeeding me

Whereas this clown is a lesser king than Dedede!

Persist in a duel with me, and it’s about to get gory

Slice you in half through your shell; call it an Inside Story!

All your conquests only ended with you in agony

Caused a second Big Bang when you tried to rule the galaxy!

You begging on your knees is the most likely scenario

Despite all of your efforts, you will never beat Mario

Bowser:

‘Bout to roast you with my breath and once again you’ll be cooking,

I’ll not be toppled by an empire that was thwarted by tiny wookies!

Terrorizing all the mushroom folks; I’m as iconic as it gets!

'''I’m a legend! This baddie’s more overhyped than Boba Fett!'''

It’s a bad decision, trying to fight this mad devil

Cause I’ll leave you more forgotten than a Holiday Special!

Like your franchise, I’ll leave your ass hanging on a tightrope,

You may have that force grip, but I’m not the one who choked!

WHO WON?!

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!!!!!

Who won? Bowser Darth Vader

Opponents in need for hire!

Ben Tennyson (for Weeb Shit or otherwise)

Ashoka Tano

Solid Snake