User blog:Wallnut3457/Rap Battle 13: Bear Grylls vs. Gordon Ramsey

This features survival expert Bear Grylls vs. Chef and Food Devil Gordon Ramsey. Enjoy! :)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

BEAR GRYLLS!

VS.

GORDON RAMSEY!

BEGIN!

Bear Grylls:

I found a chap that needs help with that filthy-ass tongue of his

He looks like a retired senior retard with untreated arthritis!

Why don't you cleanse that piehole of yours by drinking your own piss

And stop screaming like a little girl who lost her fucking wish list!

Your chefs in Hell's Kitchen make you look like a novice

Just hide your anger in a secret place that's not so obvious!

For one time, I want you to GET OUT of my life!

Or else I'll cut you open better than you could cut pork with your handcrafted knife!

Gordon Ramsey:

Holy God, your raps are just fucking horrible!

Try to be an adult for once and stop trying to look adorable!

I don't care if you could live 6 centuries in your backyard wilderness!

And you walk around the place like you're a clumsy-ass dainty princess!

You stick your legs too much around crocodile premises!

Touch my raps! It's FUCKING COLD! It means I gained a new nemesis!

I'm the strictest chef there ever was, people see you as a maniac on drugs!

And once this fist is done with ya, you'll look like a chew toy for a bunch of thugs!

Bear Grylls:

I survive extreme conditions, Gordon! So that means I can survive your disses!

While you're comfy up in the MasterChef stove, I'll screw up your ms.!

You want me to bite a chunk off you like I do with wild deer?

Why don't you just fucking sit down and drink a beer?!

And shut up for once! Shove that cutting board up your throat!!

Pack yourself up in a box and ship yourself faraway in a boat!!

So that I'll never, EVER see that old face again!

And next time find a way to make better friends!!

Gordon Ramsey:

That's it. You, Bear Grylls, GET OUT!

Get out of this fucking rap battle!

You seem more concerned in eating still-alive cattle!

I will never shut up due to the likes of you!

So I'll ask you one more time, shoo

GO AWAY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!

Why don't you go back to the mountains and take the next flight?!

Now, excuse me I have things to talk about

So now, please, GET THE FUCK OUT!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

Who won? Bear Grylls Gordon Ramsey