Adam vs Eve/Rap Meanings

Eve:
This battle's gonna end like every argument does.

(Like all arguments between man and woman, Eve believes she will be the one to win.)

With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub.

(Referencing the classic wife victory over the husband, with Adam apologizing, or "kissing her ass", and "begging for a rub" referring to asking for a handjob.)

I made a map, motherfucker, and I'm reading it, too.

(A common stereotype is that women can't read maps. Eve not only made one, but she is also using it.)

Gives me specific directions on how to fuck with you.

(The map has directions for her on which ways to mess with Adam.)

I know that you like to think you're so macho.

(Men tend to view themselves as superior to women, as they're stronger and tougher.)

But you smell like ballsacks and nachos.

(Eve is saying that guys just stuff their faces with food all day and don't wash their balls.)

I work, while you and your boyfriend, Steve.

(Women do the work around the house, while men sit around spending time with their other male friends. Steve is from the homophobic line "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," meaning that men should only marry women. Eve says Adam hangs around Steve so much, he's like his boyfriend.)

Drink and play sports in a fantasy league.

(She's talking about how the husbands and their friends loaf around all day drinking beer and playing sports while a normal housewife does all the work.)

You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips.

(Eve says Adam is only as sharp as lipstick, which is very blunt. Therefore, he's not the brightest person.)

So go ahead, take a shot, I'm sure that you'll miss.

(Eve is telling Adam to try and beat her in the battle, knowing he will fail.)

Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list.

(All of these are things that men are stereotypically bad at: they leave women to do the laundry, they never flush the toilet, or put the seat down, aim and miss for the toilet bowl, and forget to pick up the groceries.)

If you'd stop fucking up, I wouldn't have to get pissed!

(If Adam would do things right for once, Eve wouldn't have to be so angry at him all the time, so she blames all their arguments on him.)

Adam:
My life was fine 'til you had to come along and wreck it.

(According to Biblical reference, Adam was the first man on Earth and lived in paradise. God created Eve as a companion when he saw how lonely Adam was. Eve was later tempted by the serpent (Satan) to eat the forbidden fruit of knowledge, and convinced Adam to do it as well. They were kicked out of paradise, and they became mortal and tainted with sin. Adam is saying here that he was doing fine until Eve came along and ruined his life.)

Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?

(A common jab at women, saying that they tend to nag a lot, and talk for long periods of time.)

You cry about everything, but can't decide what you want.

(Females can be very emotional and complain about things without good reason. Normally, they take a long time picking out things that they want, such as shoes and handbags.)

"I'm hungry, I'm fat, I'm cold, I'm hot."

(Continuing the above statement, saying that women complain about many things, such as being too hungry, thinking they're too fat, and constantly complaining about the climate.)

You call it complex, but yo, I'd call you a mess.

(Women often call their life complex because of all of the aforementioned problems they have, but Adam thinks Eve is a train wreck.)

You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed.

(He is stating that Eve takes too long to reach her climax during orgasm. Also play on words cum sound some with come. Another stereotype that woman are always late for dates or other things. Women are also portrayed as taking a long time to get ready in dressing rooms and such.)

You got a lotion for this; you got a cream for that.

(Women often have lots of beauty products on hand.)

Got any perfume that smells like "get the fuck off my back"?

(The phrase "get off my back" means "leave me alone", and Adam is Eve has a perfume that could repel her, thus getting him off his back.)

When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming.

(Adam is saying that Eve is peaceful sometimes and he is happy as a result, like being in a dream.)

Until your junk starts bleeding, and you turn into a demon.

(Adam is referring to a period, a stage in puberty for women that lasts into adulthood. Put simply, their vaginas bleed, and 'junk' is a slang term for genitals. Women are known to be kind of moody and bitchy during their periods.)

It ain't Summer, Eve, don't try to play me like a douche.

(Play on "Summer's Eve", a well-known intimate cleanser for women which contains douches, or products used to clean vaginas. He says he shouldn't be taken as a "douchebag", an extremely stupid or foolish person.)

'''You wanna bite on my fruit? Well, you can swallow the truth!'''

(According to Biblical reference, Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit after being coaxed into it by a serpent. In here, "fruit" is referring to to Adam's penis. If Eve wants another go at it, Adam's denying, telling her to accept the facts.)

Eve:
Don't even bring up swallow.

(Swallowing is a sexual act where a woman swallows sperm. Eve doesn't even want to begin talking about that.)

The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow.

(Since Adam was the first man on Earth, his antics aren't hard to replicate, and Eve says all men are just the same.)

One pump, chump, and you're hung like a weasel.

(According to Eve, Adam is a bit on the low-stamina side during sex. After one go, he becomes hung, meaning he can't get an erection, demonstrating his low sexual performance.)

Pfft, ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle.

(Adam and Eve used fig leaves to cover up their nude bodies, so Eve's calling Adam's penis small, and that instead of a fig leaf, Adam should use a pine needle.)

'''You want alone time? Have it! In fact.'''

(Men commonly tell their wives or girlfriends for some "alone time", a way men can escape their partners momentarily. Eve is mad at Adam, so now she's leaving him on his own.)

Suck your own dick, and shave your own back.

(Blowjobs and back shavings are two things often asked for from women, and since Eve is tired of Adam, she's leaving these things on his own now.)

That apple's the best thing I bit so far.

(The apple she is referring to is the Forbidden Fruit, and it came with a big punishment (death, pain in labor). She is saying that biting something with all those consequences is better than biting Adam's junk.)

Now I see how much of a dick you are!

(After eating the Forbidden Fruit, Eve opened her eyes and saw the world for what it is. She does the same here and realizes how much of a jerk Adam is.)

Adam:
'''I wasn't listening. Are you still flapping those lips?'''

(Adam wasn't paying attention to Eve's raps, asking if she is still nagging.)

I was just thinking, "Yo, did I give up a rib for this?"

(Eve was created by one of Adam's ribs and he is now asking himself why he would give up one of his ribs for her.)

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is.

(Adam is frustrated because he has no idea what Eve's issue is.)

All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

(Adam snaps and feels that Eve is incredibly annoying and bitchy.)

(pause)

I'm sorry.

(After the battle has reached an intense point, Adam apologizes.)

(pause)

Eve:
I'm sorry, too...

(The two apologize to each other, similarly to how couples apologize to each other after they fight.)

Adam:
Alright, nice!

(Now that they've cooled down, Adam is thinking of heating things up with Eve.)

Eve:
Don't even think about it!

(Nope. Rejected.)

Adam:
OK, that's fine, we could eat.

(Adam and Eve, living in the Garden of Eden, had to pick out their own food. Apparently, while they were rapping, they were both hungry. Also, since the rap battle was made for Valentine's Day, Adam and Eve might resemble a couple eating on their date.)