User blog:JakeTheManiac/Descartes vs Archimedes. Mega Rap Battles of History 7

Welcome to the seventh installment of MRBoH. Today's battle will pit French philosopher, astronomer and mathematician, René Descartes against Greek mathematician and inventor, Archimedes of Syracuse. I would like to thank my guest and friend, User:GravityMan, for going through the trouble to play Descartes. This battle would be nothing without him. Please give me suggestions and, as always, enjoy!

| The Beat

The Cast:

Zach Sherwin as René Descartes

EpicLLOYD as Archimedes

The Battle:

MEGA RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

DESCARTES!!!

VS!!

ARCHIMEDES!!!!

BEGIN!!

Descartes (starts at :08)

Christina, be a dear, fetch me wine with tobacco; an emetic,

Because the fact that this pedophile’s loved makes me wants to vomit!

I’m the prime example of genius with a problem for this body floating dipsh*t!

Tell me: How many grains of sand can fit in your ass after I’ve kicked it?

If I lived today, I’d be running and gunning the most respected universities!

If you lived today, you’d be locked up for public nudity!

When I get a hundred blank sheets, who knows what brilliance comes forth!

When you get that amount, you use it to explain how a f*cking lever works!

Keep your puny head in your tunic before the Punic leaves you ruined!

Descartes goes hard in flow like water that get Archimedes’ screw-ed!

No one needed you! We figured it all out before you were re-discovered!

I’m the ballsy motherf*cker, smoother than Balzac’s butter!

Archimedes:

Eureka! You reek of rank raps, you greasy Voltaire lookalike

When we're through, I'll be serving you a big ol' piece of humble pi

I'm concievin' ill rhymes, while also leavin' skeptics believin'

Can't hang with this professor with the accolades he's achievin'

You disregard all thoughts but your own? How ignorant!

But that's not as bad as your attempt to become militant

Rene's cruisin' for a bruisin' from a Syracusan MD

Whose radiating dope lyrics like a mic abusin' emcee

My palimpsest says you've a limp set of disses

Once this throwdown's done, I'll leave this surprise for your missus:

She'll find Descartes' discarded carcass littered with wounds from my rap droppings

You fathered modern philosophy? Well, you should've put it up for adoption!

Descartes:

For one who claims to be a mathlete, how come you couldn’t predict

Your country’s whack-ass economic apocalypse!

I got a pump in the back that needs a fix, so put your brute hands to use!

I think, therefore I rap………what’s your excuse?

Archimedes:

I haven't an excuse, this Argument's pure Simplicity

Your Principles no longer matter, they aren't a priori-ty

So use your coordinates to map your way back to France

'Cause you're like your friend if you defeat me: you Kan't

WHO WON?!?!

WHO'S NEXT?!?!

YOU DECIDE!!!!

MEGA RAP!!

BATTLES OF!!

HIS!!

TORY!!!!!!

Who won? Descartes Archimedes

Check out Grav's sexy series!

And don't forget mine!