J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin/Rap Meanings

George R. R. Martin:
You can tell what's gonna happen in my page in age 5!

'''Tell your all-seeing eye how to find some sex in your movies! (Yeah!)'''

Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies!

(Martin suggests that Tolkien's films would be improved if rather than having Sam the Hobbit, whose actor Sean Astin was in the Goonies, he had top naked women, like Martin does in Game of Thrones.)

There's edgier plots and Matt Damon the gnome!

Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!

J. R. R. Tolkien:
Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves,

Horses, fortresses, magic, and swords!

(Tolkien begins by pointing out fantasy character archetypes, objects, places, and aspects that are present in both Tolkien's works and Martin's, suggesting the inspiration Tolkien's work had on Martin's.)

You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack!

'''You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!'''

(Tolkien replies to George as he gets ready for the battle. He then uses the pun for The Shire, the home of the hobbits of Middle Earth, and The  Iraq War, as George W. Bush led the military to the war to which Tolkien uses a play on play with Martin as both him and Bush have the same first name of George, and between "Middle East" and "Middle Earth".)

In book sales, you got nothing to say!

'''I'm number 1 and 2! You're under Fifty Shades of Grey!'''

(Tolkien's novels, The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit were ranked as the top two selling single volume books of all time, at 150 million and 140.6 million copies sold, respectively. Tolkien compares his achievements to Martin, whose sales for his A Song of Ice and Fire are lower than Fifty Shades of Gray, a romance novel often regarded as poorly written.)

'''I got the prose of a pro! Your shit sucks—'''

(Prose is a form of literature writing, which Tolkien says he has the quality of a professional of, and that in contrast Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire is bad writing.)