User blog:JKGame/Greg Heffley vs Nikki Maxwell: Epic Rap Battles of The Universe

Hello, and welcome to another installment of Epic Rap Battles of The Universe.

I'm a huge fan of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and Greg Heffley was a character that I've always wanted to use even before I started this series in the first place. Dork Diaries is something that I don't enjoy as much as Diary of a Wimpy Kid, but I still get some enjoyment out of it. So, with two books that are in the same genre and a bit similar, it makes perfect sense to pair the two main characters from both series. I could do Greg Heffley vs Big Nate, but I'm saving Nate for another opponent. I also considered making this royale involving Jamie Kelly from Dear Dumb Diary and Anne Frank as the last rapper, but that got scrapped.

Nikki's lines were really hard to make not because of rhymes or disses but mainly how to make her say them in a way that seems in-character but not too cringe-inducing.

Now with that out of the way, let's get into it!

"Wimpy middle school student from Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Greg Heffley, and dorky eighth grader from the Dork Diaries series, Nikki Maxwell, rap against each other in young diarists who have to suffer through middle school and typical real-life problems."

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!

GREG HEFFLEY!

VS!

NIKKI MAXWELL!

BEGIN!

Greg Heffley:

I could be playing Twisted Wizard, but for now I'm stuck in a face-off against this sucker

You thought I'd say "dork"? Yeah, I know what it says on your books' cover

I took a look at your books, and they're just loads of Löded Diper!

'Cause all I see is a hyper tiger who can be easily dissed in one cypher!

My books are best bestsellers! I'm like a cooler version of Charlie Brown!

While you're more like Chirag, 'cause nobody knows you're still around!

My roasts are so hot you can say they're the Dog Days!

So when I spit a phrase, watch this supposed "Ice Princess" ablaze!

You're an annoying crybaby who acts like as if you belong in a zoo

Always having a Meltdown over what Brandon might think of you!

I know I'm a wimp, but I can still beat this teen before her series reaches book thirteen

So that we won't hear any more Tales From this Not-So-Popular drama queen!

Nikki Maxwell:

Um, excuse me?! At least Brandon likes me! I don't think any girls like you!

But I can see why since you're a literal SOCIOPATH with daddy issues!

Looks like I'll put my bug killing scholarship to use since all I see here is a pest!

Actually, I'd say you're more like a meaner Max Crumbly at best!

Your rhymes are hot? Mine is sweeter than Princess Sugar Plum!

And with how you treat your best friend, it sounds like he has a case of Stockholm Syndrome!

I'm not good at swimming, but it looks like I'll be the to drown you with my flow

How stupid can you be? You actually thought you were in a TV show!

But at least I'm the one who has that, you only have, like, four cruddy movies as your claim to fame!

I almost died of BOREDOM from reading your books, how is it that they get critical acclaim!?

Here's the Ugly Truth, on bookshelves, your entire series is a blight!

Why don't you go dig a hole, get inside it, and just DIE?!

Greg Heffley:

First of all, let me get something straight:

This is a rap battle, not a place where you scream and fly into a rage

Your mood swings are more inconsistent than your books' illustrations

Your books aren't on par with mine? Hard Luck! I'm a star throughout the nation!

If you're known as Miss Know-It-All, then let me ask you a question:

How is it that your style's even more broke than Fuzzy Friends?!

And when you lose, I suggest that before you throw a fit

How about go cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it!

Nikki Maxwell:

Ugh! I can't believe I found someone I hate more than MacKenzie!

Your skills in pretty much anything are as nonexistent as your series's continuity!

All of your jokes are so Cheesy, it literally makes me feel Queasy

You know, I almost feel bad for you, 'cause beating you with rhymes was too easy

But still, you're not a star! You haven't had one good book ever since Old School!

I'd hate to see some alternate world where this young Rodrick Rules!

After I'm done, this battle's going to be your biggest downfall!

'Cause beating me is gonna be one Long Haul!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC-

(A Magic 8-Ball falls on top of the logo, then a downpour of 8-Balls start to rain down.)

OW! OW! RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE-OW!

Poll
 Who won? Greg Heffley Nikki Maxwell