User blog:BlueFrackle/Lewis Carroll vs. Oscar Wilde

It's time for another fanmade, this time between two great authors from Victorian England. On one side we have poet, mathematician, photographer and inventor, Lewis Carroll! On the other side the sophisticated satirist and playwright who was one of the greatest celebrities of his time, Oscar Wilde! Who's going to win this?

Cast as I've imagined it:
 * Nice Peter as Lewis Carroll
 * Zach Sherwin as Oscar Wilde
 * EpicLLOYD as Douglas Adams (cameo)

Lewis' location is Wonderland. Oscar's is a living room, richly decorated with lilies and blue china.

Battle
FANMADE RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!!! LEWIS CARROLL VS. OSCAR WILDE!!! BEGIN!

Lewis Carroll:

Follow me through the rabbit hole to another dimension

Underground and filled with mathematical equations

On which logic itself bows down to my wit

So I twist it and bend it to make it all the more sweet

Children love me! Arrange satire to perfect poetry

Are you mad because Florence left you for a Stoker?

Right now I want to kick your dandy ass straight back to Ireland

Why, your prose's got as much content as the map to Snark Island!

I'll bandersnatch your face and make it like a slithy tove

Lyrically overcome you, there's no puzzle I can't solve!

Douglas Adams approves my use of number 42

Ensuring your defeat I made this verse an acrostic too!

Oscar Wilde:

So, Mr. Dodgson, I hear you like to bunbury

Send the girls off 'cause you're about to feel my Wilde fury

You must be high like your caterpillar to think you can win

Quick, fetch the nyctograph, else you'll soon forget this dream!

Row a boat with the dean's daughters? You better behave!

I cut your head like a Jabberwock, serve it on a silver plate!

Your nonsense rap is like Sylvie and Bruno: not selling

You cast yourself as the Dodo, now, that's foretelling!

You're a wicked perverted geek, and a real numbers freak

But your mind's more screwed up than Dorian Gray's pic

Photographing nude little girls, that's just sick!

Lewis Carroll:

Coward lies! You're the one charged for being indecent

My work is art, not fetish, and I got their parents' consent

My rap will scare you 'til your waistcoat’s white, you libeler!

I'm a Butcher; you never caught sight of a Beaver

Go cry on Bosie's shoulder while I cook mock-author soup

You died exiled in France and I bet nobody misses you!

And now that we're done here, I'll make you softly disappear

For the snark was Lewis, you see?

Oscar Wilde:

I'm bored by this stuttering hack and I'll be Earnest

Didn't expect as my opponent a Woman of No Importance

And the crap your books inspired? Good lord, it's hurting!

So much bullshit from American McGee and Tim Burton!

I'm about to shove you headfirst Through the Looking Glass

We're all in the gutter, but you'll soon be seeing stars

WHO WON?! YOU DECIDE!!! FANMADE RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!!!