User blog:M.A.T.S.H/Disney VS History: Michael Myers vs Maleficent

I've written more rap battles in 2 days than I have in 3 years. Holy shit. Anyway, welcome back to whatever this installment of Disney vs History is. This time, it's a Halloween Special, pitting Slasher icon Michael Myers against Mistress of All Evil, Maleficent. Surprisingly, there is a beat this time but no pictures I'm afraid. Maleficent is meant to be her animated version because fuck the live-action adaptations.

Beat: Halloween

Backgrounds:

Maleficent: Maleficent's Castle

Michael Myers: Myers House, Maleficent's Castle (during Maleficent's second verse)

Dragoness Maleficent looks like this.

(0:00)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: DISNEY VS HISTORY!

MALEFICENT!

VS!

MICHAEL MYEEEEEEEEEERS!

BEGIN!

Michael Myers (0:09):
After 40 years, I've finally found a good reason to break my silence.

I'm going to teach this fay fae about how to cause real violence!

This Mistress is gonna be pissed at the rhymes the Boogieman brings.

I leave bodies in my wake! What's your kill count? Oh, right. NOTHING!

I'm pure evil! Been killing spoiled whores like you since I was a baby!

I kill because I like it! You throw tantrums over not being invited to parties!

You waited 16 years too long to get revenge. If it was me, I'd already be on a spree.

Do me a favor? Leave your hounds out. Just in case I start getting hungry!

i'm still stalking victims! You got your ass beat by three obese Tinkerbells!

You couldn't even beat me Once Upon a Dream! I don't believe in fairy tales!

Maleficent (0:37):
You attack your foes with sharp weapons? Oh, how delightfully quaint.

Stand down, you fool, before you meet a fate worse than starring in Halloween 8.

You haven't spoken for decades? That does explain why you can't spit a diss.

You're nothing more than an escaped lunatic! I'm the dark queen that your Druid cult worships!

Go back into your shadows; I'm not like the screaming peasants that you massacre.

Don't taunt me, child. I've got skills on and off the mic that will leave you burned.

I'd be amused if such a thing was possible. We're clearly not on the same level.

You get your weapons from hardware stores and kitchens. I got mine from the devil!

Why are you here, Michael? This isn't even the first time you've been beat by Rhymes!

Look! I'm the originator of the black evil that Loomis sees in your cold dead eyes.

Michael Myers (1:18:):
There's a difference between us even though we both have nasty thoughts in our heads:

I slaughter my enemies ruthlessly. You prick their fingers and tuck them into bed!

You can't escape! I'm The Shape! How can your brambles possibly harm me?!

I'd rather sit through a Silver Shamrock commercial than your awful live-action movies!

I'd open your chest and rip out what's inside but I'm pretty sure you're already Heartless!

Why didn't you look into your staff? You'll learn that you should have never started this!

I'll make your ugly-ass henchmen shudder when I slice through you like butter;

Then, maybe I'll toss your corpse in the gutters. Happy Halloween, motherfucker!

''Michael lunges at Maleficent, who covers herself with green flame. By the time it disappears, Michael is left standing in front of an enormous black and purple dragoness.''

Maleficent (1:50):
'''It's too late for you to do anything! You should have stayed in your cell!'''

What's your butcher knife going to do against all the powers of Hell?!

'''Your Man in Black can't help you either! I'm so fire, I'm literally spitting out flames!'''

'You're not entitled to any ''good scares! I'll leave this suburban boy slain!'''

'''You simple minded buffoon! This is one body that you won't be able to hack!'''

'''But I'll may leave yours more torn and shredded than your cheap, rotting, rubber mask! '''

'''Your so-called reign of terror extends to the residents of only one town! '''

But I'll show Haddonfield true horror when I swoop in and raze the place down!

'''The Horned King? Chernabog? HA! THEY'VE GOT NOTHING ON ME!'''

'''I adore the thought of carving in to you! I have claws even sharper than Freddy's!'''

'''Get your affairs in order! When I'm through, you won't live to see next Halloween night!'''

'''I'll swallow you alive! Tonight, a slasher just learned what a real monster looks like!'''

(2:30:)

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES: DI-

Logo gets stabbed several times by a knife

Urggh....

Who won? Michael Myers Maleficent