User blog:John Micheal Mitchell/Decent Rap Duels of...wait - John Mitchell vs. Steven Star

yes

Cast

 * John Mitchell - Himself
 * Steven Star - Nathan Provost
 * TheStarman - SuperThingsOnCups
 * FortanNothingGod - LazySundayPaper
 * Nostalgia Skapokon - MaNCHA
 * Homor242 - Kyle J
 * Lydia Prower - Herself
 * SapphireAirship - HarryPotter2875
 * Bubbyparker - WoodenHornets
 * JB A Ninja - London Brown
 * MobyPureHeart - Emo Owl
 * WiiWareMaster - LolZombies
 * Daniel Clayton - Nathan Provost
 * Agito90 - B-Lo Lorbes
 * Ozzy Obbler - TheSuperPlushyBros
 * Bubbyaustin - ZombieLicker
 * Kenneth1chase - Fel
 * Zoe Hirashima - Karichan102x
 * Chill-Kill Douchebag - B-Lo Lorbes
 * PolybiusGuy - Pool
 * Cpend7 - Adam Maloney
 * NaruIchi/AtomicRanger97 - Frenzy
 * MsRochefort555 - AccordionChick
 * WWEfan45 - Zander Peers
 * I0LOVE0AMY0ROSE - Jagaur
 * Donna Dick - Miss4yo
 * AwesomeSeaCucumber - WoodenHornets
 * Spongebob100 - MrBiggyful
 * Tejc1234 - MCGamingFTW
 * WageGannon6 - VinnyO
 * SmashLawler - VideoGameRapBattles
 * I.M. Meen - Mat4yo
 * The Masked Pope - Emo Owl
 * ScratGoesNutty - Zack Maloney
 * Servbot Rambo - KevinKrust
 * Aranryanchampion - Emo Owl
 * Miss Belly Vore Boob Lover - PinkiesCupcake
 * Bad News Kamina - ZombieLicker
 * MegaToon1234 - MarioWorldGuy
 * King the Mimiga - Froggy
 * ImcaNumber64 - London Brown
 * Collaterale1 - Stofferex
 * Chincherrinas:
 * ILAR's voice - Jagaur
 * Frollo's voice - Emo Owl
 * Gaston's voice - Froggy
 * Normal voice - Frenzy
 * Mama Luigi's voice - Nathan Provost
 * Bleemo's voice - B-Lo Lorbes
 * Tony Montana's voice - WoodenHornets
 * Rocky Balboa's voice - Frenzy
 * Jay-Z's voice - Stofferex
 * J. Jonah Jameson's voice - Pool
 * Hitler's voice - Justin Buckner
 * Cole Phelps's voice - Justin Buckner
 * That Angry Grandma Bitch's voice - Nathan Provost
 * Medic's voice - Mat4yo
 * Snake's voice - Stofferex

Intro
Epic Rap Baddles of Hissturree...

John Mitchell *hic*

vs....

Steven Star...

Begin...

The Battle
1. NFL (starts as the announcer speaks)

John Mitchell
I'm the biggest virgin ever, and ready to bring the heat.

This fight will have a quicker ending than Smash Bros. Elite.

I'm FB friends with Chinnnnnnnn. You're homo, watch your pants.

You RP while I'm chatting with Jill in PM.

I'm that fatass douche, and you're my lyrical meal.

Are you scared? 'Cause I'm going to knee you in your heels.

Altered OC? You bitch. Altered pairings? You bitch.

And I may have a GF, but like Romero, I'll make you my bitch!

Steven Star
You may be one of the first there in the Galaxy, but I'm #1 in the ring,

So get off checking DeviantArt and feel the pain I bring.

Your rhymes are dead. I know 'cause I studied life,

And your rapping talent was only in Goot vs. Brown. *inhales*

I want you and your GF to burn in a fire, man.

Since you're a double-crosser, your raps are invalid.

I'm not scared of your pastas, John. You should just see

That I'll be jizzing on your wall like a maple treeeeeeeeee.

TheStarman
It's the Hugh priest here, bitch, to diss these lost friend ____s!

I saved your damn whore in RP, Steve! Can I at least get a thanks?

When I admit the truth, you all go ballistic,

And something here's evident: Steven can't edit!

You'll be like LIAR, in this fight with A90.

You're High above the competition, but not MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH-TY!

This is just a typical chat while we're all fighting.

I'll post the S.M. girl and in your panties you'll be creaming!

2. Gangsta Beat Instrumental 2010

FortanNothingGod
Throwin' Some Lawl Back at You, leaving all your balls swell-y!

After this, I'll celebrate with a jar of grape jelly!

Jacking off with grape jelly! I knew you were gay!

The closet's over there, now do your f--*LazySundayPaper laughs*

Nostalgia Skapokon
This Home-stuck conflict edit stop is something I support.

I'm the better Lawler. It's a shame you made Reagan's vid so short.

My reviews in Spain skyrocket through the damn ceiling,

While you 4 face a superNova, getting a bad feeling.

Homor242
You think you can harm me? I'll beat you like my pingas.

I'm the most Extreme YouTuber, so take this: BAZINGAAAAA!

I've got the better characters, no way you'll ever harm me.

How will you be able to fight back when you need an army?

3. SHOCK WAVE

Lydia Prower
Stop whining, Homo, gee. You're such a depressed guy

Who I'll allow to cry since he'll lose this fight!

You want to bicker with old and Superior Jill? I'll show you who's boss!

Just like TheDrkSiren, I'll like you, then let most of you fall.

I'll dismantle you like hurt/heals you know you won't win.

Most of you guys will leave a Trail of Tears like when Aidan comments again.

John and Steven? The latter here will be fixed

Since we always team up as a couple. Bloody deal with it.

SapphireAirship
Don't bring my comments into this, you don't want blue paint on your carpet.

And changing some of the rules around? No need to be an autistic bitch.

I'll Air-ship all your asses until you all pass away

Since even in the Gold Version, your rhymes aren't even close to okay.

Bubbyparker
It's Bubby Peter Parker, coming in to spit a diss.

You're as White as your surname, Aidan, if you think you'll win this.

I'm Watson's Dildo now. Yeah, whatever, I won't flame

'Cause history will know you as the guy with the White name.

JB A Ninja
just dissing people by names? gee, parky, you're lame.

well, i hope you didn't since you won't amount to biebs' fame.

wanna call me a ninja? lemme tell you, bitches.

i may not use shift, but fuck you. go jump in ditches.

4. EAT 'EM UP

MobyPureHeart
I may not be the founder, but seems there isn't much I've missed.

It's pretty obvious that in the words of Skrillex, "You can suck my big load!"

I'll crush you like clay with a Spartacus Kick!

If I say I'll beat all 10 of you, I'll make this battle my bitch!

WiiWareMaster
I have issues! I'mma 'bout to make you swallow your words!

With player displays for YTPguy, your Lawl spinoffs would be absurd.

Want to like Wreck-It Ralph's moveset? I'll take this by force.

And Moe Bee, with your anal semen, you really should wipe some more!

Daniel Clayton
I nearly fainted when I heard A90 would make characters you dicks.

I'm his boss, you know. Stop asking him to do characters, FFS!

No, he will not do a character for you! STOP ASKING!

Stop it you cunts, I don't want him to do characters for you! Urgh!

Agito90
Quite frankly, you should've realized that you'll go kaboom after getting hacked!

It's MC-afiq Iqb-all the bitches want to elect!

The request's what I got, and doing it's what I deserve,

You're out of luck, you wine n' bread. You got X-clusively SERVED!

Ozzy Obbler
Sexy lifeguard out his basement to win this race!

90, you're a stupid OC. I'll make you have no rapping face!

I'll be throwing ketchup on all your wives, can't you see?

And after this, you can change your names to "bitch"!

5. Dark Knight

Bubbyaustin
I'm original! Yet I'm marked as #16!

The mistake here was pitting me against you 15!

I'mma dig your graves with my shovel, only $25!

Every one of you about are who I don't care!

C'mon, I was born to come and kick your ass!

I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass!

Now I need a laugh, so I'll give you the mic!

-*whispers* And I like your girl's breasts... (O.O)

Kenneth1chase
I can't believe all you cunts want to be with me.

My EXcess character roster will put you out the DLC!

I won't lie, all of you should be destined To Love-Ru!

Let's be honest, Austin: Your contributions are like fruit.

Zoe Hirashima
You'll be the one needing fruit when this battle's done!

Wanna talk The Troll War? Guess what? YOU JUST WON!

You only got those characters because someone put them there.

I'm sexy, going to rough you up since enough is ENOUGH!

You can call me Zoe Hira-shredder since I'm mad in battle!

I'll comply with rules in a way to get you to stop this praddle!

I'm remembered as Miku's cousin! Wanna try me, you pervert wussies?

By the end, you'll all know that you won't be getting pussy.

6. The Dog

Chill-Kill Douchebag
(Yeah, yeah, yeah) You made your moveset. No one cares, get lost

Since this is one Douchebag you should never have blocked!

I've got one thing to say, and this is for you:

After fucking your sister, I'll be sure to fuck you too!

PolybiusGuy
It would seem an impossible feat to lose to this maggot.

I've got better intellect, so watch your face 'fore I slap it.

By all the ways from here to the Endgame, this battle's mine.

I'll defeat you punks, so tell me Chris Chan's up special now.

Cpend7
Prepare to get beat by Cpend7 in this bitch!

Scram, Guy, and go back to playing your Polybius

Or fight me, but you'd shove my blast in your glass.

Think the Stadium's down? You're getting the SLAP!

NaruIchi/AtomicRanger97
Cpend7, your Lawl movesets are shit.

You got some cool ideas, and that's about it.

Don't obsess over J.M. since in this Battle Royale, he won't play nice,

There's so many ways I can say you got burned, so here's some ice!

MsRochefort555
The true rapper's here in the Arena to show you who's boss, Aaron.

I'll bomb you out of the country, and have you finish those errands.

I'm unlikely to falter. Ask Cammy, I'm quite the brawler.

Against me, no comparison. You cock-tease beginning Lawlers.

WWEfan45
Not so fast, A-hole Molotov, you don't get a second turn.

I've got a stubborn Attitude dishing out trollings and theme changes.

You don't like being shipped with FNaF? I'll kill the shipping meme,

And you all need to get up and know that YOU GOT FUCKING REKT, BIYAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!

7. Phat Records #19

I0LOVE0AMY0ROSE
Where you trying to advurties? I really could tell

I jack as someone else faster then you can say "WTH!?"

I the 3rd best. Get to my rank and lou get Ultimate butthurt

Jeez I spiting more than a idiot who drank Beveryl

Take anal character and make a poor moveset

Learn a thing about CapLock since to me you can for shit

TO TOUCH BUTT AND SHUT WITH ONE TRUST IS A YUST

SINCE I JUST RUBBING MY CLIT TO STOCKMY AND BEATING--

Santotune
Very Fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Donna Dick
I'm baffled by this *Very Fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.* faker who thinks it can beat Donna Dick.

-*Very Fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.* It makes me laugh that I'm not here. Nor are you, you pricks. *Very Fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.*

Want me to reveal something? Well, I'll do just that.

-*Very Fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.* Don't diss me for once liking Watson, I'll still kick your ass! *SHUTTUP!*

AwesomeSeaCucumber
I'll grow hard in the chatroom on all of your throats.

It's pretty rude of yourself to not reply to my notes.

I'm a true troll User, but M:tG's not MLG, nor is MTV.

Wanna pick SeaCucumber? Well, you get a C... mi--

Spongebob100
I challenge you to Kombat. Most of you have lisps.

I'm the Rad Child while you're a stupid Computer Whiz.

You think you're a Jackoff, Aaron? You made Stalking Rows pissed.

Sure, you are still a troll, but not as much of a dick switch.

Tejc1234
Oh shut up, SpongeBoob. I can win without a doubt.

Such a shame that Jill will not roleplay, so go ahead and shout.

You'll go conservative as I put random characters in Lawl for you.

You can call me Tejc. I can Dance under a Hula-Hoop.

WageGannon6
Watching you rap makes me cry. I'm going to sound like Kitty Katswell.

You may be annoying and all that, but kill one life, you're Dunn.

Someone feed me some hay, I've an appetite for WG6-ers.

I'll leave you all on Douglasville when we're done with this minute.

8. DEATH PUNCH

SmashLawler
SmashLawler's back from the dead, shit's about to get real!

Unlike Doug, ha! I'm more sane, but try'na Scheer?

Facebook, watch as I put these folks in their placebook

With the finest of stages none of you can try to chasebook!

I've led the C-rank since you were eggs taking dregs,

And I'mma shove up your clits my personal flag:

I've got Abilities on my side, so none of you even try to die.

I would say I hate you, but ragers don't energize!

I.M. Meen
My nasty kind of magic will make you hear the wall.

Get ready to see a brawl as I start it up like it were Lawl.

Bookworms, I'm not going to bother to pretend

That I'll make you end in the Magic Labyrinth of I.M. Meen!

The Masked Pope
Ignatius, I've done more than what you could do, see,

Like writing Obbler fucking ILAR's pussy.

You're all just dopes. The Masked Pope 420 no-scopes.

Don't like Equinox? Then it's best to not drop the Slippery Soap.

ScratGoneNutty
Oh, so you're going to try and replace every human being alive?

America was replacing fine until you had to had to replace!

Don't try to replace me, outreplace me! My replace is impossible!

You'll know what it feels like to be replaced by the replace!

I'm replacing walls, shooting replaces, sending replaces to space!

If you've a problem with me replacing, then replace it to my face!

I'm here to replace! This is just a temporary replacing of replaces!

Next time, why don't you let a true leader handle these replaces?

Servbot Rambo
You're getting refined with Revengeance for mankind.

Your brain was replaced out, so have a piece of my mind.

I'm trying to start my spinoff since Sony Vegas is a bitch.

Fuck, my PC, crashed, you oatfish asslulz!

9. I Love Rock N' Roll

Aranryanchampion
Think quick, 'cause the Champion's going to kick you in your dick, you flop!

What the heck's up with this guy? Does the J stand for pop!?

I bring Harmony across the nations, you can't execute creations,

So I'll stop your masturbation with no squirts of constipation!

Miss Belly Vore Boob Lover
You better resign fast before I stuff you in my mouth.

I pleasure everyone's pants, bitch! I also blowfish out!

I was tough, I have less subs than the rest of y'all,

And each of you are worse than the eyes that Nadia has!

Bad News Kamina
What's this bitch doing here? She isn't here at all.

I don't see what makes her any more important than Hannibal. (*licks lips*)

My raps are a drill that'll pierce through yours in the heavens.

Thanks for swallowing Kuromaru's Shuma-Gorath butt!

10. HARD SCARY RAP BEAT Instrumental

MegaToon1234
You might have nuts, but you certainly don't have a shipping of me!

You won't have a shipping of me once I #Reaganomaim your message walls!

Every girl in your Lawl will tally your defeat via shippings of me!

I'll inflate these Buddies and give them a taste of annoyance!

You think you're shipping? *laughs* Too funny.

And I'm not Call of Duty, but I'll spread the word like Navi!

I'm shipping to America, so you best be frank,

And realize there's no way you can export Elijah Eubank.

King the Mimiga
Stop with the shipping crap! You're nothing but a desperate creep!

Get out Wikia, bitch, and go (Best Hal Jordan: "Join eHarmony!")

I'll make a mess of any user that I acknowledge I hate,

And EXEcute you harder than my keyboard when codes were required!

ImcaNumber64
I'm fresh in my prime, Dave, and I don't think you're relevant anymore.

Slick Imca here to make a comeback that'll show you who's the true whore:

Better suck a Pokeflute, and you can read V. Chronicles

As I burn some of you again for the bullshit you caused.

Collaterale1
I'll keep this blunt as I bring in the hurt.

Want to research me? I'd just use Google search.

I'm so EPIC! Even Freddie Mercury thinks so!

Galileo, Galileo, Figaro, your rhymes blow!

John Mitchell
How about n--

11. Hard Club Banger Instrumental 2014

High-pitched announcer
EPIC! RAP BATTLES OF EPIC RAP BATTLES!

JAY-Z!

VS

VLADIMIR PUTIN

BEGIN!

Chincherrinas
(ILAR's voice) Oh, look, it's Watson. I remember you, chump.

(Jagaur's voice) You tried to make a new ID, but I did better taking a dump.

(Frollo's voice) Just try and best me, you idiot. Chin don't care.

(Gaston's voice) No one raps like Gaston, bitch! You better be scared!

(normal voice) I'm revolutionary, I'm why you're all a broken crew!

(Mama Luigi's voice) If you think you can beat me, that's Mama Luigi to you!

(Bleemo's voice) You know this can't be the end is what I have to say.

(Tony Montana's voice) Get on your knees for mercy! That'll make my day! (OHHHHH! *air horn*)

(Rocky Balboa's voice) I'll be punching you guys with my blood cock.

(Jay-Z's voice) I'd rather eat the pickle than hear any of you, so SHUT UP!

(Jameson's voice) I'll have 'em engineer a combustable lemon to burn your house down!

(Hitler's voice) Pop into my oven! Your lives'll be upside-down!

(Cole Phelps's voice) Doin' what I do? It makes me $$$.

(That Angry Grandma Bitch's voice) My butts are awesome, they have a shiny bling!

(Medic's voice) Now zat I beat every fan, troll, admin, und bureaucrat,

(Snake's voice) I should probably get back to making Codec Snake's moveset.

Hoo one?...

Jew deciiiiiiiiide...

EbigWabAdullburadljk,mzxcbva;lsuierb,xcv...

-*Poke-orgasm*

Sweet Caroline, who won this shit!? John Mitchell Steven Star TheStarman FortanNothingGod Nostalgia Skapokon Homor242 Lydia Prower SapphireAirship Bubbyparker JB A Ninja MobyPureHeart WiiWareMaster Daniel Clayton Agito90 Ozzy Obbler Bubbyaustin Kenneth1chase Zoe Hirashima Chill-Kill Douchebag PolybiusGuy Cpend7 NaruIchi/AtomicRanger97 MsRochefort555 WWEfan45 I0LOVE0AMY0ROSE Donna Dick AwesomeSeaCucumber Spongebob100 Tejc1234 WageGannon6 SmashLawler I.M. Meen The Masked Pope ScratGoneNutty Servbot Rambo Aranryanchampion Miss Belly Vore Boob Lover Bad News Kamina MegaToon1234 King the Mimiga ImcaNumber64 Collaterale1 Chincherrinas and his many voices