User blog:DexterMaximus/Epic Rap Battles of History! Charles Dickens vs Rick Riordan

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Charles Dickens!

VS!

Rick Riordan!

BEGIN

Riordan-What the Dickens? A British twat who thinks he can write?

I'm the myth master, yet your talent is nowhere in sight!

I write books about gods, you write books about crap

And I'm guessing you can't write lines for your rap

You're a gay puff who sucked Copperfield's dick

So go ahead, Charlie, try and beat the Mighty Rick!

Dickens-Really? You think you can compare to me?

Well, let me show my verse, and then we'll see!I'm a legend!

While you're an old and dying freak!

You're books are terrible, like you wrote them in 1 week

So now you can see, who has the better verse

So fuck off, Rick, go decorate your purse


 * Rick grabs a book and throws it on the floor. Somebody jumps out, brandishing a...pen? It turns into a sword. It..it...it's-

PERCY JACKSON

I'm here to thrash this irritating arrogant bastard

I have a hit movie! Your words need to be remastered

I have a sword, motherfucker, and it's also a pen, bitch!

It can write better raps that you, you sickly anal itch!

I've got Annabeth and Grover to help me- if I needed them!

So just get the fuck lost-

Charles-*Charles has a book in his hand, and he writes in it. He pulls out a sword. He does that during his last two lines of Percy's verse, then he pulls it out stabs Percy.*

Two can play at that game, Rick.


 * He throws the book down, and somebody comes out*

OLIVER TWIST!

You asked for some more, Rick, so take it, you fatty

I'll grind you up, put it in the gruel and have it with my latte

I'm only a kid, but I can MC Hammer you anytime

U Can't Touch This, cause I'm rapping s-s-super rhyme

Your weak raps are seriously making me pissed

So swallow the raps of Oliver T-T-Twist!

Who Won?

Who's Next?

You Decide!

Epic! *Swords clanging and water rushing* Rap Battles of History

Who Won? Charles Dickens & Oliver Twist Rick Riordan & Percy Jackson