User blog:Gliscor Fan/Epic Rap Battles of Bullshit: Miles Teller vs Jamie Marchi

I'm posting this april fools day battle early PST because I haven't posted enough to warrant a comeback.

That's all. Enjoy.

INTRO
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF BULLSHIT BONUS BATTLE

MILES TELLER

VERSUS

JAMIE MARCHI

BEGIN!

BATTLE
Miles:

Hey valley girl! Your dubs are shit!

Past 2012, sounds like you got hit by Vic

Then immediately got choked by his dick

Took to twitter, and got him fired, shit!

Not to mention, you make me puke-o

When your voice is used to dub junko

How many crappy actors does one company need

Why don’t ya quit and Get a Job, for that, I’ll Bleed

To your fans you seem nice, friendly, and funny on the surface

But beneath your makeup? You’re far less than perfect

I’ve seen better red heads when I get a whiplash

But don’t mind me, I’m just taking out the trash

Marchi:

Wow, you sound like an uneducated dork

Who got into a car crash, now your face looks like a fork

Why is it that I’m beloved, who the director cleverly picks

Yet, you killed your career after Fan4stic?

Michael B. Jordan went on to better things

Now he’s killing wakandians, and can’t wait to be king!

Let me call on Monica, and get cha punched (Pow!)

Like, when she’s through, I promise, you’ll be Project X’d out

Thank You for Your Service, bad acting service, you cow

For Marchi will live on in the Spectacular Now!

Dragon:

Hey guys! Oh man, several people are typing already

Anyway, I just want to name a few suggestions I like, go steady

I really think Edward Scissorhands has a place in ERB

And Crypt Keeper vs Sterling seems perfect to me

I really think Thanos should fight Tom Brady

Plus, Mulder and Scully appearing is not shady!

Anyway, thank you for listening to my keyboards percussion

So you can return to erb discussion

Miles:

Who the fuck was that?

Dragon:

Wait, is this not the wiki discord? Huh. I was just looking for the bathroom.

Miles:

Well, the momentum is gone.

Marchi:

For sure.

Miles:

If only there was someone else who could continue on!

Leslie Jones:

Alright bitches! It’s time for Jones!

I’ll yell and screech at you until I break ya bones!

Now which of you little punks do I have to break like tweezers

If you say any shit to me about not liking weezer! (AAAAHHHHH)

Miles! JK Simmons is a far better actor than you

Acting like an egotistical ass is something trump would do

And Marchi, get that valley girl accent out your mouth

Then drink some fucking tea and go back to the south!

Marchi:

Hold on a fucking second, we’re both from tennessee

Jones:

Yes, but unlike John Mulaney you’re just NAWT FUNNY

Miles:

That’s fucking rich coming from you

Didn’t you criticize the show that gave you not one emmy, but two?

Jones:

Sure, I used to find SNL and Kenan Thompson both garbage

But now I make that money off my comedy harvest

Marchi:

Comedy Harvest? That’s a ball buster

You were clearly the worst of the new ghostbusters

Miles:

I can give her a pass for dealing with a shitty reboot

Fans and Critics don’t understand art, fucking newts

Marchi:

Oh come on, Ghostbusters and Fan4stic were both trash

How the hell can you even defend someone like that!

Miles:

Oh yeah? Look who’s talking! A chick who wants to rip off someone’s balls

At the cost of what? Unprovoked cat calls?

Jones:

Bitch I wouldn’t expect you to understand sexual harassment

The hell is wrong with you? Is your brain absent?

Miles:

How ironic, it’s your brain that’s always been absent, dude

How do you call what you do comedy if you’re constantly screwed!

Dragon:

Hey, I just wanna jump on in here, stop this from dragging on

So to offer another suggestion -

Jones, Miles, and Marchi:

SHUT UP, DRAGON!

OUTRO
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP

BATTLES

OF BULLSHIT!

POLL
Who won? Miles Teller Jamie Marchi Leslie Jones Dragonsblood23