User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS 1: Hansel and Gretel vs Jack and Jill

WELCOME TO MYTHICAL BATTLES OF HISTORICAL SHIT

Hello, my name is GravityMan, and this is the premiere of Mythical Battles of Historical Shit. Thanks Leandro for the title card, and the support from everyone. Shoutouts go to Wonder, Drakan, Cyan, and everyone else who I'm so sorry ;-; forgot who I previewed this battle to to recieve feedback about. Anyway, let's get this started.

Locations
Jack and Jill: Base of hill, well at the top

Hansel and Gretel: In front of the witch's gingerbread house

Lyric Colors
Rapping together will be normal white

Jill will be rapping in yellow

Jack will be rapping in   blue

Gretel will be rapping in  green Hansel will be rapping in  red

===HANSEL AND GRETEL===

Jack and Jill:
Jack hold back and let your older sister rap first,

These fairy tale fails are about to catch a bad curse!

Alright sis, it’s my time to diss these two soon to be obese teens,

Seems no one told ‘em not to take free candy if it’s not Halloween!

We’re good siblings, doing chores, helping out around the house!

Your daddy preferred pussy over kids so he threw you out!

We’re letting our flows loose, like they came straight our pail!

Why the fuck are these murderers even in children’s tales? === Hansel and Gretel: === === You went up the hill strong then you took a fall Jack ===  Why should we take these wack raps from these Adam Sandler hacks?

 Oh! I was a witch killing badass as my movie role,

 I would never stoop so low just to be Al Pacino’s ho!

You two wretches couldn’t even fetch a bucket of water!

 I’ll trump Humpty Dumpty, I’ll send Jill tumbling after!

 See how those lines didn’t rhyme?

'' Yeah why? ''

 We took that straight from your fucking nursery rhyme!

 Oh, we’re rapping more sour than the vinegar wrapped around Jack’s head!

 Dropping like our lines like they’re burnt crumbs of bread!



Oh Hansel the damsel why don’t you shut the fuck up?
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> You’re nothing without your sister!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> That’s just sad Dummkopf

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> Ugh, we’re spitting a sick famine on your land!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> Making you swallow your words like they’re gingerbread, man! ===''' Hansel and Gretel: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> Your rap format is a nonsense verse cad

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> Locked up like we’re rapping straight from a trap!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> Go back to old Dame Dob, so he can heal your burns back to fettle,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;"> You aren’t the green first witches we burned! We’re ficken Hansel and Gretel!

YOU DECIDE


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Who Won? Jack and Jill Hansel and Gretel