User blog:Awesomesix/ERB Parody: East (Crap Battles) vs West (Themed battles)

So, I had an idea for an East vs West parody where three crap battle writers (Loyg, Jude, and I) go up against three people who write battles with themes (Coupe, Wonder, and Noah).

Eastern Philosophers (Crap Battle Writers)
Awesomesix (Sun Tzu)

Loygansono55 (Lao Tzu)

Bobdave (Confucius)

Western Philosophers (Themed Battle Writers)
J1Coupe (Socrates)

Wonderpikachu12 (Nietzsche) (I know I could've made a volt pun, but then this wouldn't work as much)

ProbablyNoah (Voltaire)

Parody
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

CRAP BATTLE WRITERS!

VS

THEMED BATTLE WRITERS!

BEGIN!

Themed Battle Writers:
I'm coming onto the wiki chatroom to bring the kicking crat doom!

Don't come to a mad rap battle with writing fit for the bathroom!

The insane Jason, the wiki is practically mine, bastards!

Rolling with the coolest rollback, and me, the horror master.

With the the harshest, darkest disses, that even I couldn’t excuse!

Dropping lyrical jewels, on these plumbing issues!

It’s relevant you were never meant to rap among our residents!

We're better writers, better friends, better members, better men!

Crap Battle Writers:
This type of cockiness is quite obviously not new from,

Schedule loving fgts who don’t understand the wetness of humor!

You writers are tight asses, needing more jokes in your lines,

You lack control of wikian erections, and of your time.

When we make the verbal porn, to make even Jorn horny,

You form horrid battles, whoring comments from the worthy!

We filled the pages with greatness, and the blogs, with the best!

And even Coupe is gonna join the army we’ll collect!

Themed Battle Writers:
Oh, I’ll give this Scot something for him to fap and splat his chode,

Then I’ll volt tackle the whack writing hog of the TDERB episodes!

You need to take control of when you unclench your cheeks,

The name’s Wonder Pikachu, 'cause of all the thunderbolts I release!

And I’m a horror fanatic, so dissing nightmares like you? I do it sick!

Got the verses like a curse that worsens your life, like Awesomesix-Six six!

You’re finally fully fucked over! These poor little whores’ business is cold!

My errors compare to the very rare numerical scale of your chances with Nicole!

Now that we’ve demoted the two power users, I can dis the pansie in a onesie!

Hey Jude, after this you’re gonna be lost to the wiki like my enter key!!

This hater tater isn’t very fierce, he’s nothing but a boob dove!

So rhythmically abysmal, I personally think the little kitten should’ve won!

Crap Battle Writers
Fuckers, we got the tourney votes, so you best jump off your mountain!

The Ace-ix has come into play, so come “go fish” in the flow I’m spouting!

A rodent’s gonna croak, and no, I don’t mean your pet!

Bob, drop the lyrical hotness, Loyg, produce the wet!

 *Loyg proceeds to beatbox.* 

Scrotum Totem overflowin’ the automotive,

Drove into power and wasted our promotions,

This whiner’s so attention-whorey,

Why’d you step to me if you don’t like war? Pls!

And you say you’re ageless, so I gotta know:

Is Splinter really just an internet Predator, tho?

You say you’re horror and your lines are haunting,

But you couldn’t even beat Trent! Me? Improbable-ly!

And it all starts with you, the “owner”, Mister Jason!

You need to demand compensation for being "Mat's" inspiration!

Themed Battle Writers:
I wouldn’t say Coupe’s an inspiration of mine, you noob,

Don’t make WonderPikachu bring back his Luigi on you!

My name is M-A-T-T-H-E-W!

No, it’s not Patrick, but here’s a theory for you-

Excuse me? Bitch, I'll have this bear shot dead!

So get your ass back to your cave, and no, you can’t hump my leg!

Holy shit, Coupe, that’s somewhat uncalled for, geez!

Can we get back to haunting these freaks with some eerie speech?

You want to tell me not to argue? I’m sorry my weight is such a Burton!

Go back to drinking all your soda, before I close your series’ curtains!

Oh hell no! No one starts goin’ toe to toe with Noah!

No one foe knowin’ me finished goes home! I’m No. one!

Crap Battle Writers
They’re getting angry amongst each other! Now we’ll really get ‘em!

But, Conner, Coupe’s a wiki star. That’s one thing you are forgetting.

Okay, Loyg, I don’t mean to get on your head, bro,

But I’d rather you’d stick to jerking off to your own flow!

Oh, you don’t wanna tussle with the Loygansono55!

Fuck with me, and I’ll make you scrap your shit a fifth time!

Yo, with our wiki’s history with the arguments inside it,

Why you gotta go after Loyg and start another fuckin’ riot?

God dammit Jude, you’re always sucking up to Barry and his dick!

Why don’t you fix your analface, and stop spewing major shit?

Okay, motherfucker, is relationships what we’re discussing?

I’ll kick your ass so far back, you’ll still be crushing on the Russian!

I’m done with you asshats, let’s take this shit to chat!



WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE? NO!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! PARODY!

 Who won? Crap Battles Themed Battles

 Which person on said team won? (Crap battles) Six Tzu Loy Tzu Conjudius 

 Which person on said team won? (Themed battles) SoCoupes Noataire WonderPieszche