User blog:TKandMit/JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin. ERB of Mitstory S3

Well well well well, here we are once again with you reading this. I'm really bad with intros. Anyway, as you probably guessed from the title, it's a battle of two fantasy authors, Lord of the Rings Tolkien comes to battle A Game of Thrones George RR Martin. Oh and also a thirdparty. Heh. Huge thanks to both BreZ and Metal for their great lines in this battle, as well as Dragon for the titlecards he made me :D. With all this said, feel free to enjoy pls <3

Cast
Nice Peter as JRR Tolkien and ??? (realistic version and voice)

Epic Lloyd as George RR Martin

Animeme as ??? (animated version)

A whole fuckton of cameos, I suppose.

Intro
Epic rap battles of Mitstory...   Versus...

Begin!!

Battle
George, I presume. I’d read your books, but you always stall ‘em,

Your themes are far too common, and you got looks of a goblin!

Martin talks a lot, I’ll crush you when my Five Armies fought!

Tolkien’s talkin’; tick tock goes the clock, finished your next novel? Not.

GoT’s got no plot, just “they died”, what a shock!

You got no shot, I spit like Sauron; my lines are hot!

Beating me? Sean Bean’s got a higher chance of living!

You’re obsessed with incest while Bran is limping!

By now, your fans wonder what’ll happen if you drop dead;

They should think it through: remember what John said!

You got Prince Baratheon and all of your dragons late!

Ripping off me? That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Chapter One: Diminish the British Empire; this writer from The Shire.

I’ll leave an axe in your head, Bifur; treat yourself with Ice and Fire!

Quit acting so Red Viper cocky or I will smash your head in like the Mountain that rhymes,

My lines Casterly Rock, see? Peter Jackson is the only reason you’re relevant these times!

Your stories are so simplified it is like Disneyland Middle Ages!

While my stories are so detailed, the books can’t hold the many pages!

Put on that one ring, cause it’s about time that you disappear!

I’M THE RAP KING! And my lines cut deeper than swords or fear.

Battling me’s like having a Dance of Dragons, I don’t make amends!

I’m the best writer ever, man! I’ll smack you There and Back Again!

You’re a sellout to HBO, watching your show makes me sad,

People watch this crap? I’d rather watch Breaking Bad!

I understand it though, no one was as good when the king took a fall,

I guess I truly am the one writer to rule them all!

Please get over yourself, you’re such a pity, you’re not ahead of me!

You’ll never rid of me, there’s no Fellowship of the Ring,

In fact, you’re dead to me; let’s reenact Ned’s beheading!

Tolkien, I invite you to another Red Wedding!

> Hussie: Intervene.



Hussie's painting in here with raps doper than Dave Strider,

Once you join The Dark Carnival, Tolkein will fear me more than Spiders!

Knocking Martins throne with disses of fire and flow of ice,

Wits sharper than KK's Scythe and I'll decide your face like Vriska’s dice!

Tolkien, go back to the army because you have no talent for diction!

Martin! You'll perish like Tom as I make your life fiction!

I'm Epic! Greater than Homer! You two aren't even close to being divine!

Now for a new update, Tolkien and Martin in their lyrical doomed timelines!

Who won?!

Who's next?!

I decide!

Who won? JRR Tolkien George RR Martin Andrew Hussie