User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Cuphead vs Bendy & the Ink Machine

when the clock strikes one, all your beats will be stolen

when the clock strikes two, recent activity will be flooded with comment-whoring

when the clock strikes three, all your favorite characters will be gay

happy holidays y'all.

An animation experiment gone wrong, the titular antagonist of "Bendy & the Ink Machine," Bendy the Dancing Demon, raps against two trouble-making brothers Cuphead and his pal, Mugman , from the recent indie sensation "Cuphead" to see which of the drastically different takes on 1930's cartoons makes for a stronger 2017 indie game.

s/o to gir for writing all but the last line of bendy's second verse. all art and music credits will be linked below, none belong to me.

Credits
“One Hell of a Time” Remix by The Musical Ghost

“Build Our Machine” Piano Cover by BGH Music

Bendy vs Cuphead and Mugman art by bendysstudio

Bendy game over screen by prince-blood-devil (Edited)

Cuphead thumbnail art by mararia0w0 (Edited)

pretty much the entire second bendy verse by Gir



Legend
Bendy in dark gray.

Cuphead in light red.

Mugman in pastel blue.

"Bendy" in BOLD GRAY.

Bendy (0:13):
I heard ya like to gamble, fellas. How’s about we raise the stakes?

Ya cups’ll make the same mistake! I’ll teach ya not to play with snakes.

Polk ain’t the only folk who can project thoughts onto wet socks,

And boil the broth in ya head-pots, this match will get red hot!

When Sammy ties ya up for sacrifice, a contract plight won’t seem so perilous!

My rap strikes come in black-and-white, best bet a bout with me is parry-less!

With more flow than a burst pipe, I’m drowning out these kids below!

This knock-out warrants first prize, but there’s no reward for simple mode!

Cuphead & Mugman (0:39):
Golly! What an honor! Now, Cuphead, what’s got you sayin’ that?

In just eight lines, we’ve caught more a glimpse of ‘em than his players have!

Hot Dawg! And ain’t that a pip, we both got big collection missions,

But our’s ain’t like backtracking a labyrinth to satisfy a vexing vixen!

Ooh, let me get some licks in! Our steam engine’s runnin’ like a phantom train!

More original visuals in thirty frames then you’ll see in your entire game!

Not to bore us, cryin’ wolf, but it seems to me like nonsense,

That bacon soup remains the most beefy thing about Meatly’s content!

Your cardboard crap ain’t cut-out for horror; Get second-guessing who that laughter’s for,

A y e a r a n d a h a l f, y o u ’ v e l a g g e d b a c k , a n d s t i l l h a v e n ’ t g o t p a s s e d c h a p t e r f o u r !

Won’t find no hidden levers to up the pressure! I’ll scrap your tech to nuts and bolts!

We wallop on wishy-washy debtors, but this dolt sold his soul to Gamejolt!



“Bendy” (1:24):
TIME FOR A NEW COAT OF PAINT; IT’S PHASE TWO, AND YOU’RE UP, BUDS!

THE CHIPS ARE DOWN: ONCE MORE, YOU MDHR-FUCKERS COME UP BANKRUPT!

STORYBOARDS WITH COMPLEX LORE; TOWERING OVER NECKBEARDED ELITISTS,

'''YA’ CHUMPS THINK YOU GUN THE HARDEST? I’VE GOT THE DARKEST SOUL, KIDS!'''

THE HAYS CODE’LL MEAN JACK WHEN YOU’RE EMPTIED OUT TO STORE MY GIN,

'''BUT YOUR EYES WANDERING TO YOUR BRO’S TROUSERS? THAT’S THE TRUE SIN!'''

WHAT A FINE LOOKIN’ DAME YOU’RE SAVING; MIND IF I SIP FROM THAT CHALICE?

SQUEEZE HER JUGS UNTIL HER MUG SPILLETH OVER; CUCKHEAD, YOU CAN KEEP ALICE!

YOU GOODY TWO SHOES CAN JOKE ABOUT MY DEVELOPER TAKING HIS TIME...

”Enjoy our product side by side with Shovel Knight!” LOOKS LIKE YOUR CREATORS LIED!

'''GO TOE-TO-CLOVEN-TOE WITH ME? QUITE THE GRANDE TOMBSTONE PICNIC!'''

FLEE BACK TO ELDER KETTLE...





Cuphead & Mugman (2:09):
( Cuphead is crushed under Bendy's fist, but Mugman parries him back to life.)

(Thank you!) Good gosh, Cuphead! This is quite a pickle that Joey drew!

But we won’t be topped by looney tunes, that’s just a fangirl’s dreams come true!

This gearhead must be loose a screw. A plunger could have him reduced to goo!

He’ll roll over like Snake-eyes! Takes no great sight to view through this ooze’s ruse!

The devil’s price ain’t cheap like your jumpscares, and tell that to your neighbor pal for me!

To think that you’d last five nights under tattle’s tale was just a gambler’s fallacy!

Could’ve duked with double downgrades, but I doubt you could even handle that!

Cheapskate release dates was the Bendy straw that broke this camel’s back!

Who won? Bendy Cuphead & Mugman