User blog:SkeepTieel/Steven Universe vs Spike. ERB:PvsA Season 1



Skeep at Your Service. So, lately I've been watching SU for research for a few battles I've been asked to help write and I decided I wanted to do a battle with Steven in it. So I went searching for suggestions to steal.

This battle was originally going to be Friendship is Witchcraft vs Mentally Advanced Series, but I scrapped it because it was boring. Then I thought I'd do Ronaldo Fryman vs Sweetie Drops, but it was also boring.

Thanks to GravityMan for helping with Steven's last bits of his first verse.

I want to write a rap meanings for this battle but I'm too lazy to do that, so I'm just going to say N-I-E-T-Z-SKEEP-C-H-E.

I really got lazy on the last bits of the battle so okie. Hope you enjoy it anyway.

Also, fancy title cards :D. I was going to make them gifs, but they were too big to be uploaded >:L

Thanks to Skeep for doing that.

Beat
http://picosong.com/mhc9/

Cast
I don't know?

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES: PONIES VS ANYTHING



VERSUS



BEGIN

Spike
Spike at Your Service, serving burns against this Universe

who’s plot is more confusing than Amethyst speaking in reverse

It’ll take more than your cheap fragile stones to get me distracted

I’m serving generous loads of raps that would attract Steven Magnet

Destabilize unstable creatures, and I’ll do more than a mild shock

Who would believe in this big flabby sad sack of a laughingstock?

Gems are not your expertise! Bet I know ‘bout them more than you

I don’t dig this crystal, its artificial, like the ones the homeworld grew

Verbally cracking a fresh gem, and mixing it in with the batter

Flattery has no effect on me, like your mirror, you’ll be shattered

This Dragonfire’s blazing, your gem power’s quite feeble

You’re so naive in rap techniques, you’d need a guide on dissing people

Send you deep down in the mines and there won’t be a second Jailbreak

My rap attacks enlarge in stacks, for every victory I take

Pierce you with fierce rhymes which are sharper than Spikes

I’ll kick this egghead out of his nest, then I’ll apologise... psyche!

Steven Universe
Didn’t expect much from these sneeple, but they just kept dragging-on

You’re softer than your flabby Bronies, I’m dropping straight StevenBombs!

With my Political Power, I’ll be serving you justice

Your Peewee responsibility ain’t enough to be trusted

Humiliate you with t-shirt cannons, then Buck ya with my gunman

I’ll munch ya like Breakfast Friends, then chop odd beings like an Onion

Crush you more than Rarity, you can’t display generosity

You're an exaggerated fake, worse than the play of our town’s history

I got this battle chained up, just like your pony friends,

when you failed to protect them from sickening goblins!

You lack more points than when Tambelon vanished,

I’m sharper than the blade my bae Connie brandishes!

I regulate my chill and cold flow so you can call me Sapphire,

But I still spit eternal flame fusion like I’m Ruby in dire,

need of her other, my show gets the feels rising,

and once your fans hit five, your ratings take a diving!

Spike
Attacking with feminine weapons? This Sidekick will teach you a lesson

And I don’t mean about your species, so no need to summon your weapons

I vision your death in the future ‘cause this cat got curious

Firing malicious limericks that’d make Disney villains delirious

I’m the one winning this Space Race against this Lunar loner

Whose rhymes failed even worse than his wrestling persona!

You illustrate ridiculousness like when your dad taught guitar

You remind me of my second gen form, cause I forgot who you are!

Cyan dragon thing
Hey!

Steven Universe
Enough of Humdrum’s conundrum, cause your claims are a bit stretchin’

You’ll suffocate when I pocket ya, but you’re used to travelling dimensions

You’re just a weak bitch, but I’m tough like a Diamond, Dog!

I’ll rip the limbs off this clod, just like as if he were a Peridot

I ain’t Lion when I say, your own species are jerks and it ain’t just a rumour

So Escape with your Equestrian Apes, or I’ll crush you like the Purple Puma

Here’s the Secret of your Excess: unorganised rhymes; you’d need a shelving-day

You haven’t had a worse day than when there was Too Many Birthdays!

'''WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES: PONIES VS ANYTHING!'''

Spike
I’ll kick this egghead out of his nest, then I’ll apologise... psyche!

(In Dragon Quest, Spike has to disturb a phoenix nest for some weird initiation thing. Eggheads are a term for Twilight Sparkles or booknerds. Since Steven likes books, Spike calls him an egghead. In the episode, the egg hatches in the end, and Spike keeps it. But in a later episode, he has returned the phoenix to their parents. Spike says he won't apologize unlike with the phoenixes, and he is also subtly mocking Garnet, who has psychic powers to see the future or something. I'm not sure, I didn't pay attention to that episode.)

Spike
Firing malicious limericks that’d make Disney villains delirious

(Spike says that his rhymes would make Disney villains like Maleficent insane. Maleficent turns into a dragon and spits green fire, I think. Spike is a dragon and spits green fire, I think.)

You remind me of my second gen form, cause I forgot who you are!

(I don't really like this line. This line should be self explanatory.)

Steven Universe
You haven’t had a worse day than when there was Too Many Birthdays!

(This line references both Secret of My Excess and Too Many Birthday, where similar things happens to both characters. Spike grows too old and mindless and goes on a rampage, Steven grows too old and too philosophical and almost dies? I guess. Steven says that Spike's rampage is the worst thing he has ever done and his rapid many birthdays are too many, I guess? This line confuses me.)

Poll
WHO WON?! Spike Steven Universe

Hint
N/A