User blog:RoboticOperatingWhatever/Why tho

No really why am I still here

I hate life

I hate talking to people

I hate not talking people

I hate doing anything

and I also hate to being still doing nothing

I say I want to explplre the world,the country,maybe even the city,yet I keep rotting in this disgusting room

Ive been too much of a mess to even go to school

Ive legit not going to school for a whole week

I will probably bomb school again

I have no idea what to do on college,if i even go to college

Im scared that I have no real skills im doing anything

nothing I even plan to do I ever do

no mather how small and no mather how big

I cant write a verse to a fucking battle bethwne two fictional horses

I say I will keep wathcing a tourney from the sidelines and I dont

the elections on my country are this year,and I have no idea of who is who

Im care more about cartoons and nternet meme than fucking  reallife

I dread being near any human being specially my dad cause of it might end up having the same conversations

its fucking 1:00 of the morning here,Im suposed to be slepping and yet im venting to people who wont read this

I caused uncesary drama by inviting people to discord server where they obviously dont belong

Ive being a huge hipocrite in several situations

Ive always felt like a im a funny person,yet rarelsy seem people laugh at me

I care too much about my voice and physicial apearice

I have been in online comunities,were I honestly just feel I dont belong

I always feel like the odd one out in almost every situation honestly

Ive started to miss people who I also stated hating being nearby for some reason

Ive scratching all of my body causing disgusting pains

It took me two whole days to even go to the doctor,cause I had scandals that a freaking 8 year old would have

the only reason Ive never killed myself is that im too scared of death

I should not post this here but I will anyway

even though I know I wont recieve any actual help

cause im stupid and I need atention

this is a call for atention and youll know it is

Im not that bad,honestly,I do have people who can help me

I just felt the need to put all the thoughts I had in words,so maybe they stopped festing me so ofthen

ughhhhhhhhh