Adam vs Eve/Rap Meanings

Eve
This battle's gonna end like every argument does,

(This battle will end like a normal man vs. woman, husband vs. wife, etc. battle.)

With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub,

(Referencing the classic wife victory over the husband, wih 'rub' refering to a handjob.)

I made a map, motherfucker, and I'm reading it, too,

(A common stereotype is that women can't read maps. Eve not only made one, but is using it.)

Gives me specific directions on how to fuck with you,

(The map gives her directions on how to mess with Adam, rather than to find a location.)

I know that you like to think you're so macho,

(Men tend to view themselves as superior to women.)

But you smell like ballsacks and nachos,

(But really, Eve is saying that guys just stuff their faces all day and don't wash their balls.)

I work, while you and your boyfriend, Steve,

(Steve is from the homophobic line "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!". Steve is another male, or Adam's friend.)

Drink and play sports in a fantasy league,

(She's talking about how a normal housewife does all the work while the husbands and their friends loaf around all day.)

You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips,

(Lipstick is very blunt. Men are commonly oblivious to subliminal hints passed to them by their female partners.)

So go ahead, take a shot, I'm sure that you'll miss,

(Eve is telling Adam to try and beat her in the battle, however, he will fail.)

Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list,

(All of these are things that men are stereotypically bad at: they leave women to do the laundry, they never flush the toilet, or put the seat down, and forget to pick up the groceries.)

If you'd stop fucking up, I wouldn't have to get pissed!

(If Adam would do things right for once, Eve wouldn't have to be so angry.)

Adam:
My life was fine 'til you had to come along and wreck it,

(Adam was the first man on Earth (according to Biblical reference), and he is saying life was great alone until God had to create another human being; she ruined his life.)

Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?

(A common jab at women, saying that they tend to nag a lot, and talk for long periods of time.)

You cry about everything, but can't decide what you want,

(Females can be very emotional, and can take a long time picking out things that they want, such as shoes and handbags.)

'I'm hungry, I'm fat, I'm cold, I'm hot',

(Continuing the above statement, saying that women complain about many things.)

You call it complex, but yo, I'd call you a mess,

(Women often call their lfe complex because of all of the aforementioned problems they have, but Adam thinks Eve is a trainwreck.)

You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed,

(He is stating that Eve takes too long to reach her climax during orgasm. Also play on words cum sound some with come. Another stereotype that woman are always late for dates or other things. Women are also portrayed as taking a long time to get ready, in dressing rooms and such.)

You got a lotion for this, you got a cream for that,

(Women often have lots of beauty products on hand.)

Got any perfume that smells like "get the fuck off my back"?

(The phrase 'get off my back' means 'leave me alone', and Adam is hoping to borrow some of Eve's perfume to repel her, thus getting him off his back.)

When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming,

(When things are peaceful, it's perfect, it's like he's in a dream.)

Until your junk starts bleeding, and you turn into a demon,

(Adam is referring to a period, a stage in puberty for women that lasts into adulthood. Put simply, their vaginas bleed, and 'junk' is a slang term for genitals. Women are known to be kind of moody and bitchy during their periods.)

It ain't Summer, Eve, don't try to play me like a douche,

(Play on "Summer's Eve", a well-kmown intimate cleanser for women; and on "douchebag", an extremely stupid or jerk-ish person.  Adam is pleading with Eve not to take him for a fool.)

You wanna bite on my fruit, well you can swallow the truth!

(According to Biblical reference, Eve tried to eat the fruit. In here fruit is referring to to Adam's penis. If Eve wants another go at it, Adam's denying.)

Eve:
Don't even bring up swallow,

(Many sexual things implied here.)

The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow,

(Adam was the first man on Earth, according to biblical stories. Even so, his antics aren't hard to replicate.)

One pump, chump, and you're hung like a weasel,

(According to Eve, Adam is a bit on the low-stamina side during sex.)

Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle,

(Eve's calling Adam's penis small.)

'''You want alone time? Have it, in fact,'''

(Men commonly tell their wives or girlfriends for some "alone time," a way men can escape their partners momentarily.)

Suck your own dick, and shave your own back,

(Blowjobs and back shavings are two things often asked for from women.)

That apple's the best thing I bit so far,

(She is saying that the apple she bit was the best thing she bit so far, unlike Adam's junk.)

Now I see how much of a dick you are!

(Eve now realizes how much of a jerk Adam is.)

Adam:
I wasn't listening, are you still flapping those lips?

(Adam wasn't paying attention to Eve's raps, asking if she is still nagging.)

I was just thinking 'yo, did I give up a rib for this?'

(Eve was created by one of Adam's ribs and he is saying why did he give up one of his ribs for her.)

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is,

(Adam doesn't know what Eve's issue is. Men typically also refer to their mates as "woman," when frustrated at them.)

All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

(Adam feels that Eve is incredibly annoying and bitchy.)

(pause)

I'm sorry...

(pause)

Eve:
I'm sorry, too...

(After the battle has reached an intense point, the two apologize to each other, similarly to how couples apologize to each other after they fight.)

Adam:
Alright, nice!

(Now that they've cooled down, Adam is thinking of heating things up with Eve...)

Eve:
Don't even think about it!

(Nope. Rejected.)

Adam:
OK, that's fine, we could eat.