User blog:Joeaikman/Rap Battles of Thrones - Book I Chapter IV - Ygritte

'''Written by User:Joeaikman and User:BreZ. If you read on you risk spoilers for both the Game of Thrones TV show and A Song of Ice and Fire book series. You have been warned'''

Ygritte led Jon down TK their cave, his hand in hers. When they got down to their spot she turned to face him. That was when she saw a figure seated in the shadows. She quickly pulled her bow.

YGRITTE

"Don't do it Ygritte" she could hear Jon behind her

VS

"You know nothing, Jon Snow" she said as lights suddenly flashed down to reveal the other figure, seated on a throne inside a thatched hut.

BOUDICCA

BEGIN!

I'm prepared to die for my cause, take my tribe south of the wall

Whilst your thrall is Black, Castle's[ burned and women mauled

By your hordes of ugly men, all dying by the sword

Of your Roman Liege Lords, who left this traitor shamed and torn

I'm a threat, I see no reason to be scared when I've got Thenns

At my back, Styring our armies to defeat this clucking hen

Who'd rather swallow poison than face the fate for her crimes

Step up, Boudick sucker, I'll put an arrow between your eyes

Bend the knee, swear fealty to the royalty of the Iceni

Or I'll viciously and maliciously keep you in captivity

Kill nobility with no dignity as a sacrifice at my festivity

Where you publicly got killed by one still in infancy

A foot soldier sent as a pillager got shot by a villager

Fuck Olly! But the same fate happened to your suitor

You long for your celibate lover, then go ahead and marry it

I'll be spitting on point like the spikes upon my chariot

You're mine enemy and I'm yours, but I have luck on my side

And I'll holler the war cries of my tribe once you've died

And Rattle the Bones of your children, feed your flesh to my band

Then let Jon loose on your caboose, he'll slay you like the Halfhand

You lack Street cred, the Romans went and Sparta-cussed you out

And your bout of revolts were put down with a rout

No Longspeared men, hence why you never took another lover

Whilst my wild wolf warg would have chosen me over his brothers

Got under the covers and tried to bond with your fond crow

You know as little as your bastard boyfriend, Jon Snow

Why you gonna Pict a fight with this tribe's chieftain

As Mighty as Mag, Whorebane, gonna leave you beaten

I'm remembered as a legend for my rebellious contribution

Whilst the conclusion of your plot was your dissolution as a human

I topple aqueducts and battlements, a fervent Celtic activist

Whilst you're a soulless slut, only known for fucking a protagonist

Who won? Ygritte Boudicca