User blog:QuetzalTastic/Hiawatha VS Pocahontas

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

HIAWATHA!

VERSUS

POCAHONTAS!

Hiawatha:

The great chief greets,

these Mohawk warcry beats.

Ho, Ho, Watanay, the birds sing our song.

I united tribes with the spirit of a graceful fox,

You got married as a child and died by smallpox.

I could end this, my people are all ear,

But sadly for you, the Peacemaker isn't here.

Pocahontas:

If my father caught you, I wouldn't jump in front.

We could be allies, but I'd prefer Europeans and their hunt.

Very nice, those tribes you and your friends united,

but all you did was repeat what the Peacemaker cited.

You're a story of legend, forgotten and old,

I'm a princess of Disney, a story always retold.

Man with an ego rotter than the dead body of his daughter.

Sacagawea:

Oh, what hard life you both went through;

Pocahontas the spoiled and Hiawatha the glue.

Look, honestly, I would be proud,

If the boy Hiawatha wouldn't end oh so cowed.

And you, you married a handsome English sailer, great lies,

as he was a tobacco farmer, belly XXL size.

I'm a famous woman of the Shoshone,

You're both great sellers of baloney.

Hiawatha:

Baloney?! You're the phony!

It took you years before you realised your brother lead an enemy tribe?

What I'm getting here is an insecure mother's vibe.

Just a mere addition to a pelthunter's many wives,

Toured on a small boat and risked your baby's lives.

Pocahontas:

Not to forget that your babies got French names,

You got some great allies, but your heritage went up in flames.

But Hiawatha, you gave a tyrant power over your alliance,

That's means you were scared, it's not rocket science.

Why don't you put those eagle feathers up your ass,

You have a pea cock, so it may just give you some class.

WHO WON?