User blog:WonderPikachu12/Ness vs Matilda. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Season 2



This is a suggestion I've liked for quite a long while now. Earthbound has always been something I've loved, and when I got this suggestion, I fell in love with it. The two sides match so perfectly, plus I kinda feel like Matilda would fit perfectly into the Earthbound world. Either way, I love it.

Also, warning: I tried some fast rapping throughout the battle, so ye, word of warning when the lines get long.

'Main protagonist of Earthbound, Ness, and titular protagonist of her book and movie, Matilda, battle one another in a match-up of psychokinetic kids that take on grown-ups.'

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO11V8AMngo

Battle
(Starts at 0:22)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY



VS



BEGIN!

Matilda:
(Starts at 0:34)

Let's go back to the Beginning, Ness; know that I'm a child prodigy.

You're a little mama's boy from an old game filled with oddities.

I'm only half your age and still more recognized than you all.

Little sis to Willy Wonka, I'm just the cutest little Dahl.

I'm gonna squash you like Buzz Buzz. You're smaller than a seed. All of America agrees that your game stinks.

Your Pollyanna's bringing things like ripoffs of the Blues Brothers, Coca-Cola, Red Cross, and the Beatles.

My rhymes are so sweet, it's like I'm stuffing you with chocolate cake.

I'll Chokey you, leave you brokey going to the hospital, trying to revive your mates!

This is your fate! The Apple of Enlightenment should've told you,

I'll kick you back to Noterday and make you turn Blue Blue.

Your dad was never around. At least mine had the decency to teach me,

That no matter your age, if a person is bad, they deserve a beating.

Ness:
(1:10)

I wood squash this worm, but she already did it to herself,

Challenging someone higher than the books you can't get off the top shelf.

I'm PK Rockin' it in the Chosen Four! Your poor family abandoned you hard!

This boy from Onett is on it! Stokin' stoic chosen warriors won't get you far!

You're on my terf, you see. This is My Sanctuary. I'll kick your butt to the Stonehendge.

Uninteresting, strange, bland, and airheaded? Man, this Fobby is Borange.

You ruled a school? I saved the world, fighting clocks and cars and hippies and the Darkness.

You’ll be sent running crying back to your teacher before you even try to harm Ness!

Busy reading books again, Gip face? Go get a LifeUp before you croak.

Crack you like my baseball bat! I talk to all animals, the best you do is make stuff float!

You're lame, it's a shame! We've got a fansite dedicated to our game!

You weren't too bad, I'll admit, but at best, your rapping was Okay!

Matilda:
(1:46)

You keep missing me It's like you're rapping verbal PK Thunder.

If it weren't for Super Smash Brothers, you'd forever be-kay obscure.

Your head's up in Magicant, for you magi-can't win this.

You got your powers from your predecessor, I got mine from my brilliance!

You're on my terf, you see. This is My Sanctuary. I'll kick your butt to the Stonehendge.

Did you see how I stole from your verse right there, just like when you stole magic from your friends?

I'm PK Beaming and gleaming! What I'm meaning is, compared to me, you're truly wack.

You can't comprehend math, a map, Dungeon Man, or the true form of my raps!

In fact, I'm doing math in my head faster than you could run with a Skip Sandwich DX.

You can't beat this, I breathe wit and leave you broken like the machines of Jeff.

Do you get it? You're broken and useless! Oh, forget it! Your small mind can't comprehend it!

It's over, trout yogurt! I took this Trunch-bull by the horns and won, and now you'll for-Everdred it!

(At 2:22, the camera pans upward, traveling up through the sky before reaching New Pork City, slowly approaching a figure revealed to be...)

Lucas:
(2:34)

Lucas is coming out of Nowhere and repping for all of Tazmily.

Talking smack about Earthbound when a small car fraud was stalked by the FBI? Now that's just silly.

I spit hot Salsa, going harder than a Bear-Tiger. You can't fool me with your abundant kindness.

I may be tender like a Tenda, but against you, I'll learn to Overcome shyness.

I guess you're the one that's earthbound now. I'm rocking it out up in New Pork City.

You're insane! Are you from Tanetane? Because if you think you'll win, you must be hallucinating!

I'm timing it, hitting all the combos in time to the tune of this beat. Every diss of yours, I parry.

It's the savior of the Nowhere Islands facing this dumbed-down, G-rated version of Carrie.

You're not so scary. I've seen drunk ghosts at Osohe Castle more frightening than your chalkboard scare.

I'm busy releasing a dragon and facing my brother while you're busy bleaching your dad's hair.

I'll cull this cult classic! Stick to dancing on a table like a monkey.

More recognized than all of us? You were only mildly famous in the 90's!

I'm ripping disses harder than when I'm pulling out a needle.

You're looking like a Magypsy. Stick to rolling your dung, beetle.

I bite harder than an Ultimate Chimera! Like your desire of going to school, your win has been belated.

You're overshadowed by Charlie, Mr. Fox, and James, when everybody begs for my game to be translated!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



'''EPIC RAP BATTLES! VIDEO GAMES-'''

P K. . . S T A R S T O R M ! !

-VERSUS HISTORYYYYY!!!!

Who won? Ness and Lucas Matilda

Hint
Here's a hint for the next battle:



Hints for this battle explained:

Magic. - They use magic. Duh.

''Ribbons. One worn, one given.'' - A ribbon is a notable part of Matilda's design in the movie. One of Ness's partners, Paula, also wears a ribbon as well, and ribbons can be given to her to wear from other party members, i.e. Ness. idk, it made sense in my head.

Wisdom, courage, and friendship. - A phrase said by Buzz Buzz in the beginning of Earthbound.

It will lead to nowhere. - Lucas is from the Nowhere Islands, and the battle led up to him, aka leading to Nowhere.