User blog:BreZ/BZRB 14: Barney Stinson VS Giacomo Casanova

I'll add a note here later

Announcer
BREZ RAP BATTLEZ!

BARNEY STINSON!

VS!

CASANOVA!

BEGIN!

Barney Stinson
Challenge accepted! I will beat this bitch and win all the glory

And I never ever fail on an accepted challenge! True story

Everything I do is Legen- wait for it –dary! LEGENDARY!

I’m always picture perfect, rich, magical and debonair, see?

Not to mention my pedigree; One month I got a girl for every day

You really wanna play? Then your game better be as good as you say

Cause I go by the name Barney Stinson: Player King of New York City

Who created a book filled with plays, every single one of them witty

I also wrote the Bro-Code and from my mind the lemon law spawned

Your history makes everyone yawn, while mine’s simply awesome!

Casanova
I heard you boast, now prepare for a roast as Casanova ripostes

While you spent time with a failed artist, architect, lawyer and news host

I spent my time with luminaries, royals, dope popes and cardinals

And I’m ‘bout to slap you harder than you have ever been by Marshall

You’re not legendary, you’re imaginary, never had a real girl

While Casanova is synonymous with womanizer through the whole world

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You can call me Big Fudge, ‘cause you’re being judged, don’t care if you hold a grudge

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">My swag is like artworks in a museum, bitch, I cannot be touched

Barney Stinson
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Yo, I am a Bro On the Go, Robin hearts like a pro (ohhh)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You know there’s no way your so-so flow can step to this mofo

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Face me and you’ll get as fucked up as any other dumb bitch

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You think you can beat me? That’s rich,   you must be eating a sandwich

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’m sure you have met Ted, both of you got your heads in the clouds

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Every one loathes you, even your parents for crying out loud

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Yes I admit, you have swag, but swag is for boys, while class is for men

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You’re known as a player but all you score are ones, while I score tens

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You can’t beat the undisputed, oft-saluted suitor of repute

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You’re simply not suited up for rap, while it suits me like a suit!

Casanova
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Second verse, I’ll break you down like you did the Arcadian

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Make you feel worse than when you found out you’re Canadian

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’m a spy, pimp, businessman, writer, mathematician,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Diplomat, medic, clergyman, playwright, politician,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Lawyer, violinist, con man, military officer,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Dancer, cabalist, gourmand and a social philosopher!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Leave you Puzzled on how I get girls buzzin’ by the dozens

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">While you are still busy grinding your own fuckin’ cousin

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Neither Ted or Marshall sees you as their friend, rather a bother

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Don’t think you’re gonna tell your daughter how you met her mother

Barney Stinson
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:18.0pt">(Haha) Please

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You are nothing but a Joker, and your brawn’s all petty

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’ll steal this win and then I’ll steal your girl, Manon Balletti

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">This time there’s no blaming Venice’s air when I make you bleed, see?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’m gripping mics, rapping meanly; You’ll feel this loss ever so keenly

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">All your rapping is futile, you’re ripping off a soldier’s style

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Only thing I don’t get is why they let you return from exile

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You just got licked like how Ted and I licked Lady Liberty

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You’ll remember this bitterly as I didn’t need trickery to get the victory

Casanova
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’ll take the victory, Story of My Life; I can say vixi!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Unlike you I don’t need the girls I pick up to be tipsy

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You took a risky gamble, trying to diss me, burn you crispy

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">When it comes down to the nitty gritty all you’re is a hippie

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Who really likes to dress pretty like he’s a little sissy

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Just so you know, you don’t make that suit look classy; I’m more savvy

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">My girls can afford to dress fancy, while yours have to dress trashy

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Your game is like your raps, see, nothing but crappy; Now who’s your daddy?

Poll!
WHO WON!? YOU DECIDE! Barney Stinson Giacomo Casanova