User blog:NightFalcon9004/Johnny Bravo vs Quagmire. Epic Cartoon Rap Battles 13

The dim-witted beefcake from Johnny Bravo who fails at getting women, Johnny Bravo, and the smooth-talking perverted womanizer from Family Guy, Glenn Quagmire, rap against each other to see who is funnier at getting chicks.

Beat produced by Cacola



Announcer: (0:00 - 0:10)

EPIC CARTOON RAP BATTLES!

JOHNNY BRAVO!

VS!

GLENN QUAGMIRE!

BEGIN!

Johnny Bravo: (0:10 - 0:30)

* takes out hand mirror*

Man, I look pretty, unlike this butt-faced creep.

This fight's going deep like I'd do to Cheryl Tiegs.

There's a bone to pick with you, but you're busy pickin' your bone.

You pick up lots of chicks, yet you're endin' up forever alone.

I got them moves, everybody does the monkey with me,

But you'd be sick enough to do a chimpanzee!

So inhumane, you act homo, but not sapien, 'cause it

Seems like you're a Herbert the pervert inside Chris' closet!

Glenn Quagmire: (0:30 - 0:50)

Ooh, giggity giggity goo!

I sleep with babes every night while your bed only has you!

You're the dumb blond on the block still living with his mama.

Your rejections end bad like high school drama!

Like all my other victims, I'll leave this Duke Nukem with a bang!

I've smacked bitches like you, only they return to me like a boomerang.

Your hair's full of gel and you hide behind shades.

I'm always scoring, but you strike out before reaching first base!

Johnny Bravo: (0:50 - 1:10)

If you are what you eat, you must be too pussy to face me.

My skills are sicker than all your combined STDs!

You're a jerking jerk who only thinks about sex.

I'll karate chop this rapist, beat you up like your sister's ex!

You never use protection, so how can you defend

When I condom-inate Glenn on my own show like Cleveland?

Even tried seducing Meg and got your neighbors mad.

Bitch, your manhood won't matter 'cause you're less manly than your dad!

Glenn Quagmire: (1:10 - 1:30)

Sorry Johnny, but I'm out of fucks to give.

Women leave your ass kicked despite all the weights you lift.

I send a virus through sexting. You sound like the King, but I'm the sex king.

I rule the chicks. Your pecs and flexing don't affect me.

Look in your mirror and you'll see why Carl's more slick.

You're a Fabio version of a virgin with a minuscule dick.

Take rap lessons, Little Suzy can show you a thing or two,

But for now, this douche has just been screwed!

Announcer: (1:30 - 1:42)

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC CARTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

(giggity)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOON RAP BATTLES!

Who won? Johnny Bravo Glenn Quagmire