User blog:PertyQwerty/Tony Hawk vs Tiger Woods. PertyQwerty's Epic Rap Battles of History

Welp, it's been a while since I made a battle. About 3 and a half weeks to be exact. This battle was pretty difficult to write because one, they don't have much material for me to work with, and two, I wasn't really in the writing kind of mood for a while, thus why this battle took so long for me to finish. But alas, I love the suggestion so I finished it.

This is the second and last battle for this season that wasn't suggested by anyone, the next three were all suggested. As always, special thanks to Leandro for the cover and title cards. Also thanks to Joeaikman who came up with the concept for a couple of the lines in the chat.

This battle is between pro golfer and controversial athlete, Tiger Woods, and pro skateboarder and pioneer of the 900, Tony Hawk.

Cast
Alpha Cat as Tiger Woods

Nice Peter as Tony Hawk

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!







BEGIN!!!

Tiger Woods:
It's time to tee off against T. Hawk, got my wrists cocked,

For my shot to knock any cock who dares to sqwak!

And I'll pounce on this birdie, like he's my lyrical prey!

After this his shitty games will be the only so called sport he can play!

But first I must choose my angle of approach or attack,

Do I swing at his four marriages or just put my iron to his golf ball sack?

So just roll on by, I'll stick to rolling in the dough!

I'm spitting holes in ones and ripping you 18 new holes!

Tony Hawk:
Let me say this Eldrick, what you do is a bore,

Just an excuse for middle aged dudes who can't do any real sports!

You mentioned 18 holes? That sounds about right.

I believe that how many you tee'd off in behind the back of your wife!

(Oh!) I'm a rolling model, known all across the world!

You're only known for putting your little putter into younger girls!

This birdie drops lyrical boms on the buncker of this bogus bogey!

Hell, I even know of scarier tigers named Tony!

Tiger Woods:
Ha! Skateboarding's not a sport, just a mode of transportation!

For lowlife assholes without any aspiration!

And I figured if you had an IQ of 144 as a kid,

You would at least known of all the accomplishments I did!

PGA Player of the year? (11 times!) PGA Tours won? (79!)

So take your puny medals, make like your name and fly!

Away from this fight, before the predator moves in for the kill,

On this jackass who likes to bust his nuts with Knoxville!

Tony Hawk:
Damn, that verse was atrocious, just like your current form!

Your a predator alright! You should leave golf and just do porn!

I'm so damn fly! That's why they call me the Birdman!

We should call you Hasslehoff since you like to stick to the sand!

I take things to the extremes like Boom Boom Huck Jam!

You just put people to sleep, so I'll knock you out like a Grand Slam!

Now I'll pop a 900 before I leave this condoner of poor sportsmanship.

You lost this battle just like all of your endorsements!

Outro
WHO WON!?!

WHO'S NEXT!?!

YOU DECIDE!!!

'''EPIC... (four!) '''

*golfball hits the screen*

RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Poll
Who Won? Tiger Woods Tony Hawk

Hint
Here's a hint for the next battle. :3