User:The Flatwoods Monster





"I exist within the very fabric of reality. Do you wish to challenge me?"

- Misfortune.gb



Yo. I'm the horror guy from North Carolina with the rats and stuff. I also run the Epic Rat Battles of Horror. That's pretty much all you need to know about me.

Still here? Okay then, fine. You know my name is Noah. Well, I'd see why you'd think that. Anyways, I live in NC with my pet rat and my dog. Yeah. Exciting life. When I'm not rock climbing, rafting or skiing, I write battles for you guys with incredibly obscure horror characters. Check 'em out below.

Family-wise, I have a brother who is pretty much a pro at rapping. I hope that I will never have to use him against you. Other then him, plus my rat. I also have another brother and a sister, but they don't live at home. Yeah. They're all pretty cool.

I'm also a hypochondriac. Not sure if that matters, or if you know what that means. As stated above, I love rats. Definitley my favorite animal, though I also like hedgehogs, capybaras and chinchillas. Small rodents in general are pretty awesome. I've got a rat, his name is Ralph. He's pretty chill. We hang out at night sometimes. I've also hated the color green for quite a long time. Why? Because it's not creative. If you actually want to know why, it's cause it's vibrantly bright and I hate that, along with yellow. My favorite color is black. I love video games, of course, Minecraft specifically, but also a lot of Nintendo games, specifically Legend of Zelda and Super Smash Brothers. I also love The Binding of Isaac and Limbo. To finish it off, I'm a huge fan of horror games, and also of Homestuck. I prefer Mountains over Beaches because my family lives up in the mountains, and I like the cold more then the hot. Those two go hand in hand, really.

Other then that, well, I'm really not super interesting. Anything else that's important about me is below.

Friends=

I like to think that everybody on here in my friend to some extent, but here are some specifics. Also, my creepypasta analogies are stupid. Sorry-

BRVR

BTTF

Coupe

MSV

DWAS

Stofferex

[http://epicrapbattlesofhistory.wikia.com/wiki/User:Wachowman Wachow. Literally just Wachow.]

Fire

TK

Xim

Joe

Gateway of the Mind

Loyg

The OTHER Fire

The OTHER Tkid

Stalker.

[http://epicrapbattlesofhistory.wikia.com/wiki/User:YouTubeKorea THE OTHER. GOD. DAMN. TK.]

Ceaser

Smaug



Title Card=







Normal Battles=

Epic Rat Battles:

{|style="background-color:|}; border: 1px solid #000000; width:100%; margin: 1em auto 1em auto;" Anne Frank vs Greg Heffley • Eminem vs Edgar Allen Poe • Sub-Zero vs Elsa • Alexander Graham Bell vs Mark Zuckerberg • Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson • Mr. Ed vs Twilight Sparkle • Link vs Alexander the Great • Scout vs Usain Bolt • Phoenix Wright vs Atticus Finch • The Blues Brothers vs Daft Punk • Queen Elizabeth vs Boxxy • The Slenderman vs Count Dracula • Eyeless Jack vs Jack the Ripper • Andrew Hussie vs Homer the Poet • Nelson Mandela vs Chris Brown • Bear Grylls vs Davy Crockett • Daniel Boone vs Steve...? • William Taft vs Gabriel Iglesias • Ray William Johnson vs Daniel Tosh.0 • Alterniabound Battle Royale • Shawn Spencer vs Dr. Brennan   • Happy Appy vs The Annoying Orange  • World War Z vs War of the Worlds Epic Rat Battles of Horror=
 * colspan="3" align="center" style="background-color:#000000; font-size:100%;" | List of Epic Rat Battles of History
 * align="center" style="font-size:90%; color:#131313; background-color:#FFFFFF;" | Season 1
 * style="font-size:90%;" |
 * align="center" style="font-size:90%; color:#131313; background-color:#FFFFFF;" | Season 1
 * style="font-size:90%;" |

Other Battles=

(Bold means victory, Italics means lost.)

User Battles:

Vs Joeaikman

Vs Coupe (pfft, yeah right)

Tourney Battles:

Sadly now defunct Video Game tourney (As Limbo Boy)-

Vs Trevor Phillips (Corporal Genesis)

Sadly now defunct Super Smash Bros 4 tourney (As Pikachu)-

Vs King DeDeDe (Joeaikman)

Wiki's Third Official Rap Tourney-

Vs Dragonsblood23

Vs Tkid115

There was also the "Heroes and Villains Tourney" in which I faced Ronan 'o Connor (Patts) as Karkat Vantas, however, due to controversy, the battle was taken down. I technically won. Who Won?=

Season 1

1. Bill 'O Reilly (John put up a good fight, but in the end, Bill shut him down.)

2. Darth Vader (So many dudes been with your Mom, who even knows if I'm your father? BAM. GAME OVER.)

3. Abe Lincoln (Chuck did nothing but brag.)

4. Sarah Palin (dat flow tho)

5. Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage (Actually, Kim didn't do as bad as some say. I enjoyed this battle.)

6. Tie (Equally bad. Bieber's voice was designed for his failure and Beethoven used too many profanities.)

7. Albert Einstein (Hawking did good as well, but Einstein mocking Stephen's Black Hole theory sealed his fate.)

8. Genghis Kahn (I really wish this battle never happened.)

9. Napolean Bonaparte (You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang! WHA-BOOM. GAME OVEEEER.)

10. Ben Franklin (Vince was a good save for Billy, but Franklin was too good for them both.)

11. Dumbledore (I really don't like LOTR anyways, but Dumbledore was just plain epic.)

12. Dr Seuss and his goons (Things 1 & 2 were annoying but they got the job done.)

13. Mr. Rogers (Finishing line finished off Mr. T.)

14. Christopher Columbus (I'LL STICK A FLAG UP YO ASS AND CLAIM YOU FOR SPAIN!)

15. EpicLLOYD (Peter made too many midget jokes.)

Season 2

1. Darth Vader (I personally thought they went overboard with Hitler.)

2. Tie (I thought the helmet line would win it for Leo but Master Chief came back strong with the Flintstones. Wait, what?)

3. Mario Bros (Mamma Mia!)

4. Elvis Presley (HAIL TO THE KING, BABEH. Nah-But-Really Elvis took it with his second verse.)

5. Cleopatra (Obvious choice.)

6. HAL 9000/Bill Gates (Steve just didn't cut it for me. Don't know why.)

7. Frank Sinatra (They overdid Mercury, almost seemed unfair. I loved Sinatra verses though.)

8. Barack Obama (I loved him as a rapper. He's not a bad president, either xP)

9. Doc Brown (As much as I respect the Doctor's fandom, I must say Back To The Future won this one.)

10. Bruce Lee (Bruce was Eastwood's worst nightmare in this battle.)

11. Batman (Many people didn't like him in that battle, I thought he was perfect.)

12. Moses (I did love the Jolly Giant's verses as well, though. Close battle.)

13. Tie (NEITHER. GOD HELP ME WHY DOES THIS BATTLE EXIST.)

14. MLK (Gandhi did good but MLK's flow was beautiful.)

15. Thomas Edison (Not saying I supported him in real life, though.)

16. Lance Armstrong (I'm not really sure why...)

17. Skrillex (Mozarts second verse seemed very forced with irrelevant IKEA references ._.)

18. Lenin > Gorbachev > Putin > Rasputin > Stalin (Not much to say about this one.)

Season 3

1. Darth Vader & Boba Fett (Just too good with that dubsteps.)

2. Al Capone (Though I feel like Blackbeard is underrated.)

3. Nobody (This matchup was such a waste of potential for both characters.)

4. Bob Ross (Though Picasso doesn't get enough credit.)

5. Muhammad Ali (No contest. Space Jam shuts Jordan down.)

6. Trump > Yet to Come > J.P. Morgan > Scrooge and Kanye (Everyone was good though. God damn I loved this battle.)

7. Tie (Both were great, the matchup lost though.)

8. Superman (BY A MILE! Superman's flow had to be the best in an ERB to date.)

9. Stephen King (Fast rapping couldn't save Poe against King's verses.)

10. Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson (As much as I despise Nye, Tyson is an old role model to me and not even Weird Al's talent level could save him.)

11. George Washington (Wallace was not impressive. Didn't like this battle, though. Too slow with a bad matchup.)

12. Tie (Both were good. TMNT needed longer lines but they worked better as a team, and Raphael's verses might as well not have happened.)

Favorites:

Favorite Battle: Bill Nye vs Isaac Newton

Least Favorite Battle: Adam vs Eve

Favorite Rapper: Superman

Least Favorite Rapper: Lady GaGa

Favorite Beat: Goku vs Superman

Favorite Season: Season 2 Who's Next?=

My Suggestions-


 * Andrew Hussie vs Homer the Poet (Number 1# :D)
 * King Tut vs Yugi Muto (Mostly for King Tut, somewhat for Yugi)
 * Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin (Who doesn't want this?)
 * Dr. Phil vs Sigmund Freud (I love Psychology)
 * Dracula vs Slenderman (Poor, poor Slendy, staying away from Peters camp.)
 * Taylor Swift vs King Henry VIII (Made me laugh.)
 * Katniss Everdeen ft. Tris Prior vs Boudicca (More like Katniss vs Not-Joan but whatever)
 * Elsa vs Sub-Zero (Would make a cool Christmas Special)
 * Blues Brothers vs Daft Punk (Awesome.)
 * Gabriel Inglesias vs William Taft (Unlikely... but awesome...?)
 * R.L. Stine vs H.P. Lovecraft (The new Poe vs King... and hilarious, at that.)
 * Dexter Morgan vs Norman Bates (Mostly for Bates, however)
 * Steve (Minecraft) vs Daniel Boone (I really want both in an ERB)
 * Bear Grylls vs Davy Crockett (Kind of a remake of the earlier suggestion, however)
 * Link vs King Arthur ("King Arthur can eat dicks")

YouTubers I'd like to see play somebody in an ERB:
 * Catie Wayne (Though I don't think she's ever rapped before...hm...)
 * Markiplier (Yes.)
 * Tay Zonday (Double yes.)
 * Laina (Sings... hasn't rapped I don't think...)
 * JacksFilms (Would make my friends happy to see him.)
 * Shane Dawson (I hate 'em, but I wanna see him.)
 * Hannah Heart (Cause why not.)