User blog:Mortal5075/Jesse Pinkman vs Morty Smith - Epic Rap Battles of Mortality.

Hello. This is a surprise battle that I did not plan and I wrote in a week. It was surprising to me too. This is this way because I stole this idea from Trent. The whole story is I helped him in writing his version, which will come soon, but liked the stuff that I wrote so much I decided to make a full battle out of it. Here we are where we are then. I am a pretty avid Breaking Bad fan, only seeing it a couple months ago and I am excited for El Camino. So here is the battle riding off the hype. On the contrary, I do not like Rick and Morty and only saw the very first episode. I just liked the idea and the amount of material both world offer. Still not a fan though. However, I am hoping you will be a fan of this battle.

The Beat

The Battle
Jesse Pinkman:

Ahoy you fuck! This aint the type of Capn you get your cereal from.

Ding, Ding, Ding! Hear that, bitch? You’re about to bomb!

I'll smash a knob who thinks he's dope cause he groped a Jess alien's bobs.

But his grandpa blasting ladies still gets his balls dropped.

You're as soft as a pink Teddy, so I'll burn the face of this bitchy bitch.

Hell they tried to make you evil and they stuck with emo Richie Rich.

My fire's big enough to cook meth while you only get a flame text.

When you fucking masturbate at your own sis in latex.

Morty Smith:

You know I saw stuff about your series and I don't really get how yours is better.

Its like a teacher and a student who grew a bit too close together?

Erm, that just sounds crap. Aw geez, now your fans will be sad.

But if we set the marks on boring, you would like Breaking Bad.

Aren’t drugs like bad or something? The frick are you thinking?

With all those opioids, man, your balls must be shrinking.

Haven’t you like seen those PSAs, dude? Just stop it, get some help.

I would feel bad your parents kicked you but you kinda brought it on yourself.

Jesse Pinkman:

Forget Logic, I’m Marshall, coming armed like a Ma-Sha.

Guns loaded, making limbs just like your bond; impartial.

Sanchez will see my Arsenal bodies, I’m an arse about it.

Like a queue for Schezuan on the mic I'm retarded.

Someone pass a molly, I'll now gas a body.

Then sell it on the market for some blood money.

When gun goes "Wuba-lub-dub" these two geeks will be found dead.

I schooled you so bad its like getting run over by a car; you're grounded!

I'm dissolving through you and your sister whore, skin is gone, its blood n gore.

Go take a bath, ho. But try to not fall to the lower floor.

I'm rinsing through you like ricin at gassing pace that Gus's face could show.

Bitch, I'm breaking you down like acid; H2S04!

I'm smashing hero's useless sidekicks for they be McFly or Watson.

You can't compete to what I ball, son, all I do is eat like Walt's son!

So for all those different types of Rick for you it'd never be enough.

Since it's impossible to find one who for you will ever feel some love.

Morty Smith:

Aargh, FUCKSTUFF! You'll be one sorry individual if you wanna test me.

You’re getting fucked, Jesse, like a Testicle Monster sex scene.

I'll spit like Meth-o-d Man on this Methodine man.

Watch you choke up like Jane got Meth OD'd, man!

They say I'm a pussy well it's no lie that from time to time I am quite shy.

But like it literally took you an hour to fucking hurt a fly.

I gotta hand it to this underhand cause when things went under the hand.

He went crying like a little bitch after getting handed under Hank.

You’re bitching more than Scary Terry cause you’re less scary and more funny.

I am carrying these rounds like Huelle on a pile of money.

So don't push me! Man, if you get me real unnerved.

I'll bury you under the crawl space til even laughter won't be heard.

Man, drugs will blow in your face and the money will kill you too.

Just look what happened to Tuco or that pair of junkies, dude.

I know you only do the drugs thing so your girl will have green racked in.

But the only green you got your loved kin is the flower from Walt's garden.

Jesse Pinkman:

I’ll cook a kooky kid when I get shook up and go wild like Tuco.

On a rookie whose sex doll was the closest thing to a hooker.

You know it's sad when your own damn kid is more of a man than you are.

But if you count your fans tumor even Walt’s brain has fewer!

Morty Smith

''' OH FUCK THIS! YOU DON'T GET TO JUDGE ON THE TYPE OF STUFF I'M ON, BRO! '''

''' THE ONLY WINNING STREAK THAT YOU HAD WAS BREAKING OVER COMBO! '''

''' YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN MOVIE COMING BUT THINGS CAN NEVER REMAIN RIGHT. '''

''' BECAUSE DESPITE THE NEO-NAZIS YOU STILL CANT BE SUPREME TO WHITE! '''

Jesse Pinkman:

''' SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU KNOW I SAW HOW AROUND YOU RICK BEHAVES. '''

''' AND LETS JUST SAY WHEN I TALK "ADDED SPICE" I AINT ON BOUT MY COCAINE! '''

Morty Smith

''' BITCH I'LL STEAL YOUR WIN JUST LIKE CRANSTON GOT YOUR GOLD SNUBBED. '''

''' CAUSE THIS BATTLES LIKE YOUR SERIES; IN THE END I GOT YOU LOCKED UP! '''