Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin



Charles Darwin vs Ash Ketchum is the sixty-sixth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the eighth episode of Season 5. It features the main protagonist of the Pokémon anime and aspiring Pokémon Trainer, Ash Ketchum, and the discoverer of biological evolution, Charles Darwin. It was released on November 14, 2016.

Cast
Nice Peter as Charles Darwin

Brian Walters as Ash Ketchum

Pikachu (animated)

Charizard (animated)

Butterfree (animated)

Alolan Exeggutor (animated)

Magikarp (animated)

Lapras (animated)

Mary Doodles and Dante Cimadamore as Team Rocket (cameo)

EpicLLOYD as Ash Williams (cameo)

Ash Ketchum:
Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight!

But this should be fun! I've yet to catch the Ghost-type!

Got the highest speed stat, drop raps lightning fast,

So I can open my pockets and go ( Charizard! ) on your ass!

Cause I'm Ash! And that's A-to the-shush!

I don't care how many beetles and butterflies you squoosh!

Your earthworms can't beat these magical beasties!

Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces!

You got candy raps, Reese's Pieces!

In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species!

When it's time to train, I turn to Pikachu! (Pika!)

But when I need a weak verse, I choose you!

Charles Darwin:
Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth,

Where actual minds do groundbreaking work!

If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection!

You're so ineffective you couldn't even turn 11!

What you spit's just not hard hitting enough!

It's kids stuff! You're soft like a Jigglypuff

You got no Game Boy, so you'll get the broom quick!

The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK!

I'm a masterful naturalist!

What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list!

My research reversed the first words of the Church!

You measure your worth by the sales of your merch!

Ash Ketchum:
Yo, ummm real quick?

This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick.

Kick it!

You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please!

You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas!

You're a glitchy old man who's best left at sea!

Set sail and Galápago-suck on these!

Charles Darwin:
Look, Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick,

Your animated slave fights make me sick!

When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning,

I'm not Charles Sheen but I am Darwinning!

Ash Ketchum:
Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel,

Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool!

You lost three children while they were still small!

TB and scarlet fever; gotta catch 'em all!

Charles Darwin:
It took billions of years for mankind to evolve!

Now they hunch over cell phones playing with your balls!

And it was hard losing my daughters and their brothers,

As hard as the wood Oak gave to your mother.