User blog:JKGame/Wario vs Rarity: My Little Rap Battles

Oh, dear. A new rap battle already after having two in a row in a single day?

Ok, I have an explanation. Scott the Woz vs AntDude was something I just wanted to make last minute so that I wouldn't lose interest in it much later on. I've been planning this battle for a while and I'm too lazy to wait until later to post this. Plus, I'm going to be away next week so there won't be any battle until I come back.

As for this battle, Rarity, at least for me, is one of the most underused characters in any rap battle. I've wanted to use her for a long time, but I had some trouble coming up with her opponent. (Coco Chanel is a good opponent, but I wasn't interested in using her, and Donald Trump was another one I liked and did use once before, but now I have other plans for him.) Then I thought of this matchup and loved it. Of course, Wario and Rarity are pretty much opposites, and that's why I like it so much. Also, there's a story here. Just wanted to throw that out there.

"Doppelganger of Mario and the main character of both Wario Land and WarioWare, Wario, and generous fashionista and owner of three boutiques, Rarity, rap against each other in the battle of polar opposites with a big business, a knack for finding treasure, and a brother/sister that accompanies them. Which one will prevail, greed or generosity?"

Oh, and this battle is obviously a tribute to WarioWare Gold, which is coming out soon.

Intro
Wario sat on his chair in his house, looking more bored than he ever was.

"Wah. I already lost my money after hosting that gaming tournament. Maybe I should go to YouTube and see what kind of videos make millions of views so I can earn some easy cash."

Wario pulled out his laptop and searched through YouTube for some videos to copy. He then found a channel called ERB and found out that not only was this channel popular for their rap battles, but it also earned millions of dollars for doing so.

"WAHAHA! Looks like I've struck gold! This is going to as easy as making games! But first, I need an opponent, since of course, I'm going to be one of the rappers."

Out of nowhere, a creature made of multiple animal parts appeared, catching Wario off guard.

"WAH! What the heck are you doing here?!" he yelled.

"Oh, don't mind me," the creature replied. "They call me Discord. I was bored, so I was just traveling through dimensions. Then I went to this one and heard that you want an opponent for a rap battle"

"So what? You have one for me?" Wario asked.

"Of course! Otherwise, I wouldn't be here!" said Discord, "I've been getting into rap battles lately and I think I know the one that's just perfect for you!"

"Well, what are you waiting for? Take me to this opponent!"

Discord then summoned a portal, which sucked Wario in and took him to Discord's world, a magical one at that...

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. Birds were chirping and everything just seemed right.

Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike just happened to be taking a walk.

"It sure is a nice day, isn't it, Spike?" Twilight asked.

"Of course it is!" Spike responded. "I mean, what could possibly go wrong on a nice day like this-"

Suddenly, they heard a familiar, bloodcurdling scream in the distance.

"Oh no! That sounds like Rarity!" Spike cried.

"Let's see what's going on!" said Twilight.

They hurried onto the grounds surrounding Carousel Boutique, which seemed to have a giant hole on the roof. There, they saw a large group of ponies watching Rarity rush out of the front door of the boutique, looking terribly distraught.

"Rarity!" Twilight yelled out. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, what's wrong?!" Rarity answered angrily. "Him!"

She then pointed at the door, which burst open to reveal Wario, who was pushing multiple ponies aside as he ran towards Rarity.

"Move it!" he yelled, "Wait, THAT'S my opponent?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, you monster!" Rarity snapped.

"I'm in need for an opponent for my rap battle! That's what I'm talking about!

"A rap battle?!"

"Of course, idiot! Were you too busy painting your hooves to listen?!"

"Oh, it...is...on!"

Battle
MY LITTLE RAP BATTLES!!!

WARIO!

VS!

RARITY!!!

BEGIN!

Wario:

WAHAHAHA! Brace yourself, 'cause I'm about to put the "war" in Wario!

Watch as I shoulder bash you and chomp on you like you're a marshmallow!

I'm tougher than a Diamond Dog, and like Jimmy T, I got some Smooth Moves

This pony just complains about every dirt particle that lands on her little hooves!

The only one who loved you was a dragon, while I'm getting all the girls!

In fact, you couldn't keep a relationship with a prince or even a boulder!

Your puny little clothes shops can't compare to my company back in Diamond City!

You've just entered my Land, chump! So prepare to meet your worst Nightmare, Rarity! (WAHAHAHA!)

Rarity:

Ew, that verse reeked even worse than your farts!

I'm already Suited For Success! Your jaw will drop once I spit some fabulous bars!

Because I'm simply glamorous, darling, one of the best in haute couture

The only thing more disturbing than that nose is the awful outfit of this boor!

You steal treasure and people's credit, like how Suri once stole my designs

Don't even Touch me! I know you've been using your finger to go digging through your gold mine!

I wouldn't be shocked if you called up your mindless friends to write all of your lyrics

Your garlic breath's worse than those dogs'. Not even Fancy Pants would say you're "charmingly rustic"!

Wario:

For a Hoity Toity drama queen, I thought you'd at least be good with vocabulary!

I'm a Sweet and Elite man with fans, the odds of people liking you is a Rarity!

You're a Greenhorn when it comes to magic! I doubt you're better than Ashley!

You've already lost, so better get your couch and some ice cream ready!

Wait, you use magic to find gems? Too bad you didn't use it to find some good rhymes!

You're not even generous! You're a Manifestation of selfish who does nothing but whine, whine, whine!

What else can I say? I'll take you down faster than my microgames!

You'll fall from grace like you lost your wings! Now have a rotten day!

Rarity:

Please, the only thing rotten about my day is the teeth of this overweight waste of space!

Selling barely-finished games for cash? Why on Equestria am I battling EA?

Two times in a row, you flopped your verses harder than your game on the Wii U!

SO go get your purple buddy to Assist you. It's the only good he'll ever do!

You threw away a girl in the trash just to get your dirty hands on some treasure!

If you want some comeuppance for your crimes, then it would be my pleasure!

Let's Twist things up. I'm more into fashion, but how about I rip your fat body to pieces, darling?!

And your rapping? It's absolutely the worst...possible...thing!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

MY LITTLE-

(The logo then gets shaken as hard as ever)

AAAH! AAAH!! MY LITTLE RAP BATTLES!!!

Poll
Who won? Wario Rarity

Epilogue
It has been a while since Wario rapped against Rarity. Long story short, it got to the point where even Princess Celestia became involved. Wario was shortly taken back to his world, but not before receiving the footage of the battle that Discord just happened to record. With the help of his friends, he edits the footage to include the intro, the outro, and the subtitles and uploads the battle. Soon, it garnered millions of views and wonderful comments such as:

"This makes Epic Fictional Rap Battles look good."

"Why are there ads every three seconds?!"

But Wario didn't care. He received tons of money and that's all it took to make him happy.