User blog:JakeTheManiac/Modern Poets vs Ancient Poets. Mega Rap Battles of History 9

Welcome to another installment of MRBoH. Today's battle features the team of modern American poets, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Emily Dickinson, and Walt Whitman against the team of ancient European poets, Homer, Dante, and Virgil. This battle is heavily inspired by East vs West and it took me forever to write. And I don't wanna see anything in the comments about how the modern rappers aren't modern. I got enough of that in chat. :(

Anyways, enjoy the battle. And if the coding doesn't look right, get Matt to help, please. I always use mobile and I have limited access to computers.

Enjoy, tho.

The Cast:

The Modern Poets

Nice Peter as Walt Whitman

EpicLLOYD as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lauren Flans as Emily Dickinson

The Ancient Poets

Zach Sherwin as Homer

Dante Cimadamore as Dante Alighieri

George Watsky as Virgil

The Battle:

MEGA RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

WHITMAN!!

LONGFELLOW!!

AND DICKINSON!!

VS!!!

VIRGIL!!

HOMER!!

AND DANTE!!!!

BEGIN!!!

Modern Poets

Let's start with a question: Which man has more wit than Whitman

Who has a way with words, both when he writes and spits, and

Who can throw Wads of disses Worth a thousand hits, and

Add some feminine charm, then you've got the modern poets, man!

When Walt, Henry , and Em go hard on these bygone bards

We'll diss the same way I like my liquor: strong and hard!

You're out of date and overrated, and when you lose, fans will elate

It's these Euro-failures against all-American greats!

Ancient Poets

You were raised to respect your elders, so you better start showing it!

Because without us, you would've lived without people knowing it!

What Dante says is true. Our existence influenced your work

Granted it's awfully flaw-full! It's the absolute worst!

Prepare as Homer and his Homies wreck ya, call it The Odyssey

And marvel as we make these modern morons learn some modesty!

Defining the word "epic" before James Cameron had a filmography

And if you think that you would win, well, that's a Divine Comedy!

Modern Poets

Excuse me, Alighieri? I believe you forgot to mention

That if not for me, you'd be unknown: lost with no translation

I'll make this Sommo Poeta il, because I spit it sick

Mess with Longfellow, you'll get harsh words from this master of lyrics

As the Belle of Amherst, I'll spit a verse of beauty on this beastly fellow

Don't need to leave my house to go to town on Publius Maro

I'll swat you like a Culex, tear your Appendix out your side

For tonight, the color red will be stained on the Woman in White!

Straight Outta Camden comes a crazy, brother-lover named Walt

Here to take on this Homo Homer who may not have lived at all

My team, we're poetry royalty, so it's us you shall hail

Plus the only way "epic" describes you is next to the word "fail"!

Ancient Poets

Prepare to eat your words, as I've set up The Banquet

I should know how to spit on the mic, I fathered the Italian language

Dante spits an Inferno that May make even the Devil Cry

But let's pass it on to my Home dawg, I know he wants to have a try

Indeed, I'll rip this damned rot till his pain can finally surface

Leave no fact untouched, unlike a majority of his young servants

Homer disses hotter than the flames that claimed Henry's wife

But it seems Virgil wants to add on to this attack; cause them strife!

Virgil is no virgin to verses so natural, call them Georgics

He is vigil with the words, we're on the verge of a win so gorgeous

So watch for us! Our lyrics; enormous! We got rhymes just glorious!

We're notorious! You're slower than tortoises! Our team's victorious!

And we know this woman's no good! The Dickins, you say?

Her reason for seclusion's a bigger mystery than if Walt is gay!

And if they want another round, let's give 'em one! They seem in shock!

They might be distraught from our rhymes, hopefully they get writer's block

Modern Poets

The only block we're gonna have is one to lob at your faces!

We have a personal place in Purgatory for you three disgraces!

We'll stomp these Homeric geeks, till they want to call it quits

And when it's done, they'll have the kiss of Walt Whitman's fist on their lips

So play the Drum-Taps, and in our final verse, keep this in your head

Here's our Psalm of Life: Don't mess with us ever again!

Ancient Poets No need for us to mess with you once more Our win's certain to allow that

Your "Psalm" makes me wonder if you know anything about rap

I went to Hell (Virgil: and Heaven) and back again, that proves my withstanding against you

No one knows you! Soon all the stuff you did will be erased from history too

And after this lyrical Iliad, we see who stands up towards your weak pwnage

It's Homer, Dante, and Virgil: the ancient and greatest poets!

WHO WON?!?!

WHO'S NEXT?!?!

YOU DECIDE!!!!!

MEGARAPBATTLESOFHISTORY!!!!!!!

Who won? Whitman, Longfellow and Dickinson Homer, Dante and Virgil