Joan of Arc

"When it comes to bad bitches, I'm the patron saint!"

- Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc battled Miley Cyrus in Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc. She was portrayed by Jessi Smiles.

Information on the Rapper
(Note: For readability purposes, the French surname "d'Arc" (pronounced like "dark") is used instead of the English "Arc", as common practice with medieval surnames is to revert to native form. The English do not include the "of" in "house names".)

Joan of Arc (French: Jeanne d'Arc; Joan/Jane/Jean of Arc; 1412 – May 30, 1431) was a French folk heroine noted for her bravery during France's Hundred Years' War against England, followed by her trial and death at the stake after capture by English forces in 1431.

Born to a peasant family in northeastern France, as a teenager d'Arc had suffered firsthand the consequences of the Hundred Years' War. At around age 12 (per testimony at her trial), d'Arc claimed to have had contact with three saints in a vision that told her to drive the English out of France. A short time after, she joined a French garrison and passed as a man through enemy lines. From there, she began a campaign to retake occupied France. This included the dissolution of a 1429 siege at Orleans in nine days, and the capture of Reims later in the year that made possible the crowning of Charles VII.

Following a sortie in which she was ambushed by French rebels siding with England, d'Arc was imprisoned at the English fortress of Rouen, where she would be tried in 1431 and convicted for acting against the Catholic Church as a heretic. She was sentenced to burn at the stake, and executed May 30 of the same year. More than 20 years after her death, Pope Calixtus III retried d'Arc after the war ended, at the behest of parties close to her. In 1456, the Pope exonerated d'Arc of heresy and declared her a martyr, leading to her beatification (blessing by the Church) in 1909 and full sainthood in 1920, which was almost 500 years after her death. D'Arc remains influential in modern culture, both in France and elsewhere, with influence felt across television, film, art, music, and even in video games.

Verse 1:
Lord, forgive me for the words I speak.

I know the voices of the angels tell me turn the other cheek,

But I'm about to rip Hannah Montana's tongue out through her teeth.

Je suis la fille en feu, call me Katniss Everdeen!

When it comes to bad bitches, I'm the patron saint,

But I only get down on my knees when it's time to pray!

I came to Frenchmen's aid in their time of need,

'Cause I'm the maid of Orleans. You're the Mardi Gras beads, honey.

My father taught me things your daddy couldn't teach ya.

Your highest calling was a text from Wiz Khalifa.

You gotta die for something, Miley, just picture your epitaph:

Had the world watching, chose to show them all her flat ass!

Verse 2:
Do not take the Lord's name in vain, you ratchet skank!

Your manager's riding you to the achy breaky bank!

Be thankful for your talent, don't just rub it on your crotch.

Keep your party in the USA, Vive La France!

Scrapped Lyrics
I can't help but bring the heat, I'm a human firebomb.

You're a wreck on a ball, I wish a Jay-Z song was on!

Trivia

 * She is the second French character to appear in Epic Rap Battles of History. The first one is Napoleon Bonaparte.
 * She and Napoleon are the only rappers to speak a complete sentence in French during a battle. (Napoleon: "God damn, you've got a head that can blow off manhole covers!"; Joan: "I am the girl on fire.")
 * Joan is the only rapper to speak two complete sentences in French, or any non-English language.
 * However, if Al Capone's Italian "capisce" is counted as a sentence, it would make Joan the third rapper to speak any complete sentence in any language other than English.
 * If we instead count the number of rappers using foreign words, Joan is the 7th to do so (after Napoleon, Columbus (Arrivederci), Hitler (Sieg Heil!), Gorbachev, Putin (Да, сука), and Capone).
 * She is the first confirmed Christian saint and the first official Roman Catholic saint to appear in a rap battle.
 * She is the second character to appear during her opponent's turn (in the photo), the first being is Barack Obama.
 * She is now part of a short list of religion-associated figures who have appeared in a rap battle (excluding the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, both of whom are technically secular).
 * But she is the first religion-associated figure NOT associated with a holiday in her rap battle.