Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin

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Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin is the tenth installment of the Epic Rap Battles of History series. It features American politician and inventor, Ben Franklin, battling against TV pitchman, Billy Mays. After Billy Mays died mid battle, Vince Offer took over the battle for Mays. It was released on June 23, 2011.

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Ben Franklin

Colin J. Sweeney as Billy Mays

Nice Peter as Vince Offer and the Announcer

Pat McIntyre as George Washington (cameo)

Lyrics
Ben Franklin:

I’m big Ben Franklin and this shant be pretty.

Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly!

You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack. You're out of practice.

My victory's more certain than death or taxes!

Fact is, you're a hack, wack QVC joke.

You peddle soap that cleans bird shit from my windows!

I’ll craft a lyrical coffin and then spit the nails in.

Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it's death of a salesman!

Billy Mays:

Hi, Billy Mays here with this special TV offer!

Watch me crush this bald, fat, foppish founding father!

I'll take my awesome auger and sow your Quaker oats.

I'll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats!

I'm lord of the pitch and leader in home sales.

You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail!

Benny's got kite 'n key, but you're in for a shock,

When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod cock!

Ben Franklin:

Stop! I protest these intolerable raps.

It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your ass!

Cause I'm mint, I'm money! I'm an educated gentleman.

So join or die Bill, cause it's all about the Benjamin!

Billy Mays:

But wait, there's more...!

[Billy Mays suffers from a heart attack and dies.]

Announcer:

Is there anyone out there who can finish this battle?

Anyone?

Anyone...

Vince Offer:

I can.

You following me camera guy? Cause it's about to get furious!

You're gonna love my nuts until you're bi-focal-curious!

Your boy George chopped down trees. You couldn't break a piece of balsa!

Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa!

Your style's so broke, they call you "Poor Richard".

It's bad enough I gotta see you every time I tip a stripper!

Vince against a founding father is just too bad!

Cause after this America is gonna lose a Dad!

Trivia

 * This is the first episode where a participant dies.
 * This is the second battle to feature "commentary", the others are Hulk Hogan and Macho Man vs Kim Jong-il, Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD, and Batman vs Sherlock Holmes.
 * Suggested by: kyoko703, MarioLuigi43, tinynoah21, and MeatwadTheGreat