User blog:Joeaikman/Epic Rap Battle Hunger Games - Tribute Scores

The screen is black. Suddenly the metallic logo of ERBem appears, the theme music accompanying it. Now a Stage appears, the lights not yet on. The adoring Capitol crowd are sat in front of it, waving flags with the faces of their favourite tribute emblazoned on. Many are drinking as the Capitol servants wander between the aisles of chairs.

As the lights turn on we see Zach Sherwin seated in a luxuriant chair. It's red fabric matches the screen behind him that has pictures of each of the tributes accompanied with their names. He stands as the crowd goes wild, laughing and bowing as he does so

"Welcome! Welcome! The Capitol is very happy to welcome all of you to a very special night. Tonight we receive the Tribute scores that could define the future of the tributes who, in just a few days, will be stepping into the arena. It's so exciting! So, without further ado, let's send you over to Wax who can give us the scores"

The screen changes to show a different man, clearly from the Capitol, stood in front of the tribute training centre.

"Hi there Zach. These Hunger Games are looking like a real prospect. We have a great mix of tributes readying to fight it out for the honour of being the victor. As usual we will start with District 1"

"Ever since the Chariot Rides Darth Vader has created an impression. He stands taller than all the other tributes and, according to something his mentor let slip, is lethal with a blade. He has certainly created an impression on me with his commanding presence and aura. His District partner is Hulk Hogan. This guy looks strong, his muscles show off someone who is really handy in close combat situations, I wouldn't count either of these two out"

"District 2 have sent two very glamorous tributes. Their female, Cleopatra, wields a commanding presence on those around her, she has a tendency to make you feel inferior. Her fellow District 2 tribute is the versatile Michael Jackson. He may not look like much but from what we've heard he is quality with long ranged weapons"

"District 3 have, as usual, sent probably the cleverest tributes. Bill Nye will be hoping to survive for a long time in the arena with a reputedly extensive knowledge of edible plants. His District partner, Kari, is apparently very good at survival skills. However neither pose a physical threat compared to the tributes before them"

"District 4 have provided two of the hottest candidates for the victor crown. Just by looking at him you can tell that Thor will be tough to handle. His physique suggests someone who is more than capable at both close combat and with a weapon. His fellow District 4 tribute is Blackbeard. He might look crazy but trust me, this guy is one to watch. Both these tributes will be even more deadly around water."

"District 5 have sent tributes by the names of Donald Trump and Thomas Edison. Both don't look like potential victors, however they clearly possess a mean streak and will be doing everything within their powers to win. Neither have the physical presence to worry the career districts."

District 6 have also sent two tributes who appear to be lacking in the physical department, however we all know that isn't everything in the arena. Bill O'Reilly looks like someone who is willing to commit and kill for victory, whilst Oprah may look weak she has an obvious strong streak within her."

District 7 have sent us a set of tributes that come as a pair. Adam and Eve are boyfriend and girlfriend back home in their native district. Will that passion set them up as a lethal pair in the arena? Or will it cause infinite heartbreak for one of these star crossed lovers."

"District 8 will hope for an explosive games for them as Michael Bay, one of their tributes, has a reported proficiency for pyrotechnics. His fellow District 8 tribute is Moses, someone who claims to have god backing him up. Neither look physical enough to mount a challenge, however"

"Rumours are that District 9 tribute Stephen King has already angered his fellow tributes by being too creepy around the lunch table. Let's hope that doesn't come back to haunt him in the arena. And we shouldn't forget his glamorous district partner, Marilyn Monroe. She might not look like much but she could certainly pose a threat."

"District 10 have sent a mixed bag this time around. Egon Spengler is their first tribute. He doesn't look up to much, however he will hope his brains can keep him alive longer than the others. His partner however looks like a genuine contender. Joan of Arc is apparently proficient with a weapon and smart as well. Could be a lethal opponent to face in the arena."

"District 11 won't be holding out much hope with their tributes. Gandhi doesn't look up to much physically and Lady Gaga ran out of the tribute parade after she broke a nail on her chariot. I wouldn't put my money anywhere near these two"

"District 12 will be hoping for good things from their two. Leonidas looks like a top contender with muscles, brain and strategy all in the bag. He has been sighted with the career tributes so it seems an alliance may be brewing. His district partner is Leonardo Da Vinci. Not the toughest but he will hope he can keep himself alive with inventions and his intellect."

"So without further ado, here are the scores"

Darth Vader - 10

Hulk Hogan - 9

Michael Jackson - 9

Cleopatra - 9

Bill Nye - 6

Kari Byron - 7

Thor - 10

Blackbeard - 10

Donald Trump - 5

Thomas Edison - 6

Bill O'Reilly - 4

Oprah Winfrey - 4

Adam - 8

Eve - 6

Michael Bay - 9

Moses - 7

Stephen King - 5

Marilyn Monroe - 3

Egon Spengler - 5

Joan of Arc - 9

Mahatma Gandhi - 7

Lady Gaga - 2

Leonidas - 10

Leonardo Da Vinci - 8