User blog:RadicalWeavile/Julius Caesar vs Fidel Castro

EpicLloyd as Julius Caesar

Dante Cimadamore as Fidel Castro

Angela Trimbur as Cleopatra (dances in the background for Caesar)

Nice Peter as JFK (cameo)

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

FIDEL CASTRO!

VS

JULIUS CAESAR!!!

BEGIN!

Caesar: Allow me to destroy this in-Fidel

I'll pull off your facial hair and burn them in hell

I was worshiped. You're hated as much as Camilla

Cleopatra slept with me while you reek like a guerilla (Cleopatra gets a little "cozy" during this verse)

I've never seen such a dispicable communist,

who ruled poor little Cuba with an iron fist!

I'll blow you faster than your fat-ass joints

Let's get onto my major points

Your government is nothing but a Bay of Pigs!

Gonna chop you to a salad and top you with figs

U2 scared to face the ruler of Rome

Get down, bow to me, while I sit on my throne!

(Castro spits on Caesar before starting his verse)

Castro: Aye Carumba! You could use some deodorant, and some yoga!

Put a shirt on, ditch that damn filthy toga

So you call me a pig? (Scoffs) That's just big talk!

Tell me. How many people want to see statues of you and get an eyeful of your cock?

Don't you know you're dealing with Castro?

I'll launch you in space, you'll become an astro-not,

some willy-nilly laurel leaf wearing pussy!

I'll spank you with my iron hand and bruise your tushy

I'm a mean lean Soviet hugging ruling machine

I even got Kennedy to beg on his knees

Fuck you, I'm not afraid of your Roman gods

I'm an atheist, bitch. Religion is for nimrods!

Caesar: Stop sucking on the dick of your brother Raul!

Your reign is dead so you can't be a tool

Why don't you hide in a box with your boyfriend, Che?

You're not getting any sympathy from me

I'll tax you, harass you, throw you in jail,

And whip you and beat you until you cry and wail!

You Havana no chance, a hit-less miss

I'll leave you cowering like a student during the Cuban Missile Crisis!

Castro: Et tu, Julius, have no idea how big of a mistake you just made

Your raps were ineffective like when the U.S tried to invade

And your rhymes bore me, they remind me of Shakespeare

Peeled grapes, really? Get out of here!

I'll tie you to a post, stick a smoke in your mouth, blindfold you and have you shot!

I'll throw a party, have Lopez sing to me, and smoke some of my pot

Say, we have something in common, we both got stoned

But only one of us got to say it, so you got poned!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC (Ay yi yi!)

RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

Who Won?

Julius Caesar

Fidel Castro