User blog:Wachowman/Wiki Kombat S1E2 (Death Is Quick)

Last Time on Wiki Kombat
DWAS: um, am I late?

Mind: everyone showed up yesterday.

Flats: This isn't a regular tourney, this is-

(Just then Wachow appears)

Wachow: that's enough!...Flats, it appears you are not allowed to be here, the vote will be cancelled!

(Flats is transported away)

Wachow: the fight will begin tomorrow.

(The Lak copies stick their spears into Flats back)

Flats: gah!

(A trap door opens under Flats)

Wachow: that's the end of him...

(Legion is about to wrote his name on the book)

(Just then a huge knife goes through Legions body)

Wachow: what?!

(Flats writes down his name with the blood on the knife)

Flats: not getting rid of me that quickly Wachow.

Wachow: well then...this year will be different...won't it?

This Time
(Screen shows Legions body fall to the ground)

Flats:...

Wachow:...well then.

Sceptile: Jesus, you fucking brutalized him.

Mind: he's-

Gliscor: for fucks sake people! Why are you surprised to see death?!

Devil: he's right! We came here to kill each other, not mourn over the lost.

Wachow: exactly...then that means you 22 are this years fighters...well played Flats.

Flats: *smirks*

Wachow: but...it appears I have to change this year up...a lot.

Joe: change? What do you mean change?

Lak: let him finish.

Wachow: I mean this year, will be the most difficult to live in.

(A flash of light comes from Wachow)

(All the Users are engulfed into the light)

Wachow: I am randomly selecting 7 groups of 3, one of you will be alone, you will want to survive with your group until the end, then all 3 of you...or whoever is left...will be crowned as winners...

(The light goes away as the teams are revealed)

Wachow: here are the teams.

(Screen shows Joe, Coupe and Munkitteh)

Wachow: Jason Coupe, Joe Trap, and Tiger and Bantha.

Coupe: I see.

Joe: not bad.

Tiger: I await our fights together.

Bantha: you all gunna die, we kill both of you!

Tiger: no, no, Bantha, they're on our team.

Bantha: team?...oh! Ok, I hope you don't die a lot!

Joe:...thanks?

(Screen shows Mind, Purple and TK)

Wachow: Powerful Mind, Purple Arion, and TK Mit.

Mind: we can do this!

Purple: I don't have Assy? Does that mean...

TK: this is a winning team if I ever saw one myself.

Mind: agreed.

(Screen shows Patts, Jake and ROB)

Wachow: Patts Slender, Jake Pro, and Robotic Operating Battler.

ROB: 01010100 0110100 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01101111 01100100.

Patts: agreed, I don't regret a single person on this team.

Jake: really? Uh, thanks I guess.

Patts: just don't get in my way.

ROB: 01001111 01110010 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100101

Jake: uh...sure.

(Screen shows Gliscor, Devil and Lak)

Wachow: Gliscor Ground, Devil, and Lak Pan.

Gliscor: ahaha, nice!

Devil: well, if we're supposed to be in the same team, an alliance doesn't hurt.

Lak: you don't even know.

Devil: huh?

Lak: but you will.

(Screen shows Trixter, Sceptile and DWAS)

Wachow: Trixter, Sceptile Grass, DWAS Suit.

DWAS: ayy, seems like a solid team.

Trixter: I have minimal positivity with this group.

Sceptile: I actually feel pretty good.

Trixter: I assume we'll see.

(Screen shows Assy, Steeler and Killer)

Wachow: Assy Arian, Steeler Nation, and...Killer Murderer.

Killer: don't wear it out.

Steeler: you have an odd full name.

Killer: eh, blame my parents.

Steeler: why'd they name you that?

Killer: they didn't, I did, they abandoned me.

Steeler: geez.

Assy:...Purple...

(Screen shows Leandro, Wonder and Meat)

Wonder: and lastly, Leandro Paint, Wonder ThunderBear, and Meat Vandal.

Meat: we...can...win.

Wonder: well Leandro, I assume it's up to us.

Leandro: I hope you have something up your sleeve Meat.

Meat: huh?...look, I...don't...have...sleeves.

(Meat starts to slowly wave his arms in the air)

Leandro:...god dammit.

(Screen shows Flats all alone)

Wachow: oh, how convenient! Flats, you were "randomly" placed by yourself, how will you ever win this?

Flats: bite me Wach.

Wachow: I intend to do more than bite...

Flats:...

Wachow:...now then! I suppose it's time for our first fight!

Sceptile: right now?

Gliscor: shut it! Finally!

Wachow: of course! Why not! I've already made a decision!

(A flash of light appears again)

Wachow: the first two teams to fight are...

(Purple, Mind, TK and Flats are seen on the field)

Wachow: Purple, Mind and TK vs Flats! A nice 3 on 1 battle!

Flats: heh, I know what you're doing Wach.

Wachow: this is how it goes...well then, I hope you're all ready to fight. ,just I explain the rules?

Gliscor: wait, there's rules?

Wachow: hahahaha...no, there are no rules!

Purple: wait, I have to fight him?

TK: what're you worried about? It's 3V1!

Mind: you guys fight and listen to me, I can tell you what his next move is.

Purple:...ok.

Assy: Purple!

(Assy steps onto the field but is pushed back by an invisible force)

Assy: agh!

Wachow: do not interfere with the fight!

Purple: Assy!

Wachow: if you really want to see him again, then win your fight!

Purple:...ok.

Assy:...Purple...

(Purple pulls out two katanas)

Purple: let's do this.

Wachow: excellent.

3

2

1

FIGHT

Mind: Purple, duck!

(Flats throws a knife at Purples head as he ducks under it)

Purple: oh shit!

(TK takes out his mic)

TK: are ya ready for this?!

Flats:...

(TK screams into his mic as a huge sound wave rushes towards Flats)

Flats: *smirks*

(Flats pulls out his giant knife and swoops up)

(The sound wave is visibly cut in half)

TK: huh?

Mind: TK move a foot to your right!

(Flats sticks his knife in the ground)

(TK moves out of the way before - knife shoots from under him)

TK: holy shit!

Mind: now keep moving! Both of you!

(Purple and TK start to dash around the arena as Flats knife continues to quickly shoot out of the ground)

(Purple jumps at Flats but he moves out of the way)

(Purple then slashes his katanas at Flats who dodges all attacks)

Purple: how?!

Mind: Purple! Jump back!

(Purple jumps back as a knife sticks out of where he was standing)

Purple: good call.

(TK sends another sound wave at Flats who jumps over it)

Mind: TK duck!

(TK ducks under a knife that was thrown at him)

Mind:...not this time!

(Mind then dodges several knives)

Flats:...ok then, that's how it is...

(Flats closes his eyes)

Mind: huh? I can't get a read on him?

TK: what do you mean you can't get a read on him?

Mind: shit, this isn't go-

(A knife shoots out of the ground under Mind)

(A loud piercing noise is heard)

Mind: h-h-how?

Flats:...

(Flats then quickly throws another knife at TKs head)

TK: wha-

(TK falls to the ground, dead)

(Flats giant knife goes back to Flats as Mind falls to the floor, dead)

Purple: wha-no!

Flats:...I really don't want to kill you...

Purple:...

Flats: but I have to.

(Flats throws a knife at Purple which he dodges)

Purple: no...you won't!

(Purples katanas start to spin)

(Purple uses an invisible force to push the propelling katanas at Flats)

(Flats swoops his knife sideways)

Purple: what?!

(Purples katanas are seen sliced in half)

Purple: how-

(Flats then lunges towards Purple)

Assy: No!

(Flats than swiftly pierces his knife into Purples stomach)

Purple: n-no...A...ssy...

Assy: Noooo! Purple!

Flats:...I'm sorry.

(Flats pulls up on his sword cutting Purple in two)

(A loud slicing sound is heard)

Assy: No! No! Noooooo!

Gliscor: the fuck are you crying about?! You knew coming here he would die!

Assy: it...it wasn't supposed to be like this!

Gliscor: what do you mean?

Assy:...

Gliscor:...whatever.

Flats:...now wh-

(Mind, TK and Purples bodies all evaporate into white dust particles)

Flats: heh, thought so.

Wachow: *slow clapping* well done Flats, well done, you are a fierce fighter.

Flats: yeah I know, so how do their souls taste?

Wachow: *quietly* excellent.

Flats:...

Wachow:...well then! That's enough fighting for today!

Devil: that's it?! I thought everyone was going to fight!

Wachow: in due time Devil, in due time.

Lak: just calm down, you'll find out eventually.

Devil: find out what?

Wachow: now then, I hope everyone has learned something from today. 4 of the people you knew yesterday are now dead, they can't come back.

Assy:...

Wachow: and this same fate will be met with almost all of you, but one of you will be crowned as King!...but until then you will all live like royalty!

Leandro: royalty? What do you mean?

Wachow: everyone will be teleported to their temporary homes, a place I like to call Wiktuary.

DWAS: can you pronounce that for all the readers?

Wachow: *sigh* Wick-shoe-ary.

DWAS: cool.

Jake: what is this place?

Wachow: a sanctuary for all of you, it'll succumb to all of your needs whether it be food, weights, woman, and so on.

Bantha: I get Banana Woman from Wik-shoe-ary for me and Tigger to eat out!

Joe: that's...disturbing.

Tiger: *sigh* no Banana Woman, Bantha.

Bantha: but he say anything!

Tiger: I said no!

Bantha: hmph!

Steeler: how long are we gunna stay there?

Wachow: until the tournament ends...which this year seems to be taking longer, but everything has its reasons. Last year there were 13 people dead by day 2.

Joe: 13 people? How's that possible.

Wachow: shit happens.

Gliscor: so when's the next fight?!

Wachow: there will be a 3 on 3 fight for tomorrow, I think Flats has deserved a little break.

Flats:...

Wachow: in fact Flats, you have a special reserved room all for you, the first winner.

Lak: sir, we are running late for...you know.

Wachow: yes, we are, I will begin teleportation immediately.

(A flash of light fills the screen)

(Screen then shows all the remaining Users at Wiktuary)

Wonder: wow, look at is place.

Leandro: it's amazing here.

Lak: just make a wish and 99% of the time it'll come true.

Bantha: Banana Woman!

(A Banana Woman appears in front of the Users)

Sceptile: oh...

Killer: uhh.

Bantha: yay!

Tiger: no god-gah! I wish for a ban on Banana Woman!

(The Banana Woman disappears)

Bantha: nooo...Banana Woman!

(Nothing appears)

Bantha: You no fun!

Lak: well then, I suppose you all now know how it works, if you'll excuse me.

(Lak disappears)

Killer: where's he going?

DWAS: hey guys...where's Flats?

Jake: he said he had a "special room" for him.

Patts: heh...knew something was off.

(Screen shows Flats in a very small concrete cube with no windows)

(Wachows voice can be heard)

Wachow: like your new home Flats?

Flats: shut up and let's talk since none of those idiots can hear you.

Wachow: I have a schedule, don't waste my time.

Flats: how long until they realize you suck the power out of everyone who dies, then when the last person is standing you kill them with ease?

Wachow: they don't, they'll all be dead, and since I know you'll be the last one alive, I need all that power to kill you...I'm not sure what you are or where you came from...but I know a fight between us now could go either way...I don't like challenges.

Flats: is the oh-so mighty Wachow afraid of me?

Wachow: afraid? Ahaha, cute.

(Flats is pushed against a wall by an invisible force)

Flats: erg!

Wachow: *huff, huff* don't underestimate me Flats...we're...equal...

(Flats breaks out of the force)

Flats: heh, equal huh?

Wachow:...

(Wachows voice stops talking)

Flats:...yeah, that's what I thought.

...

(Screen shows Lak, Devil and Gliscor in front of Wachow)

Devil: are you sure they won't know that we're missing?

Lak: trust me they won't.

(Screen shows two Gliscor and Devil dolls)

(Bantha walks by the dolls)

Bantha: hi Gligor! Hi Debil!

(Bantha continues walking)

(Screen goes back to Lak, Devil and Gliscor)

Devil: is that seriously what you did?

Gliscor: whatever, so why are we here?

Wachow: patients. now Lak.

Lak: yes sir?

Wachow: why don't you tell them about our plan?

(The screen goes black)

Next Time on Wiki Kombat
Wachow: the next fight will be between Devil, Lak and Gliscor verses Leandro, Wonder and Meat!

Flats: huh? What's he doing?

(Devil throws up Lava)

Devil: let's do this!

(Wonder builds up electricity)

Wonder: we've got this guys!

Coupe: is it me, or is Wachow hiding something from us.

Sceptile: yeah, he's hiding Flats, someone who knows something.

Coupe: then we must find him.

Steeler: uh guys...I think I found something.