User blog:Dark Cyan/Animeme (text only) Rap Battles: Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life vs Bee Movie

Hello, everyone. And welcome to Animeme (text only) Rap Battles! It's just like Animeme Rap Battles, but text only, and we couldn't get Tobuscus!

Yes, this is going to be an actual series! Aren't you lucky? :p

This battle pits the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned, Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life, against Bee Movie, the movie, the meme, the myth.

I wrote for Shrek, Legion wrote for Barry Benson

Let's Do This!

Beat: Here

Shrek
(starts at 0:27)

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

As if that’s ever gonna happen! Memedom owes me!

This is my swamp! You should take a real law course

Because no dank meme is going to push against my force!

Even if you got faster every time you said ‘bee’

You’d still be rapping for too long to be interesting to me

You won’t like me when I do the roar, so just kneel and pray

…Psst, This is the part where you fly away

Barry Benson
(starts at 0:55)

It's Barry Benson, firing off like a BeeBee gun

Shrek is love? Shrek is gay! Shrek is done!

You'll bee curbswamped! Buzz buzz, motherbuzzer!

Harder than I buzz buzzed in your deus Diaz, PornHubbers!

The ultimate beeing, screw aerodynamics' rules

Beeat beestiality! Nah, you're beeating off too!

Call me Jerry Springer, you're not the father, shit!

Said I dunked Diaz, didn't I? Beelieve it!

Shrek
(starts at 1:22)

I’m an All Star, son! You couldn’t out-rap me in your wildest dreams!

You’re such a joke that when you spit, they should play the Seinfeld theme!

The only reason Dreamworks milk me is because they know I’m vital!

Everybody knows you’re a B-movie. It’s literally your title!

You almost killed all the flowers, but to lost souls, I’m the ideal!

I’ll line up you, Johnny Test and Cory Baxter. Trihple keel!

Who needs Bridget Jones? I have a dedicated cult full of willing subjects!

I’ve committed insecticide. It’s all Ogre now. You just got Shrekt!

Barry Benson
(starts at 1:50)

To bee or not to bee isn't a question.

Leave Shrek dimension and get bent, son.

Bee me, bee bored out of your exo-skeleton.

Just like you're exposed by your poor animation.

I can't beelieve your helmet hair mussiness

buzzed into your rapping, Shrek the drek!

I'll beeswhack this hack because I'm the real man

I'd peel this onion, but what'd that be 4, chan?

WHO WON? Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life Bee Movie