User blog:TheAgent41/Awesome Rap Battles of Awesomeness: King Arthur vs. Beowulf

The first in my series of rap battles (I plan to start a channel for them soon): Awesome Rap Battles of Awesomeness. For episode one, we have King Arthur fighting against the epic hero Beowulf!

Intro
AWESOME RAP BATTLES OF AWESOMENESS

KING ARTHUR

VS.

BEOWULF

BEGIN

King Arthur
Stand back, you fur-wearing barbarian brute!

If you enter the king's house, you'll receive the royal boot!

I'll give you a royal beating and pop you like a cork!

A Swede hammered on mead, screaming "Bork bork bork!"

I'm the Great Bear; you're just a Scandinavian goblin.

You're nothing more than Robert Zemeckis's problem.

While you fall, I'll rise up on Pendragon's wings.

So let's slay the wulf and then long live the king!

Beowulf
Do you heorot? It's time for me to reign on your parade!

I'll punch you in the Monmouth and wipe that Grendel off your face!

Stop Dragon behind; at least try to keep pace.

You're a more slippery bitch than the Lady of the Lake!

I'm the Beo-Lone Wulf; I'm a slayer of beasts!

I'll dethrone you and use your Camelot for a feast.

Step aside, you python, here's a new rule to follow!

I'll beat you faster than the velocity of an unladen swallow!

King Arthur
Now I like to think of myself as a patient monarch,

But I do not take kindly to that swallow remark.

I'm the kingpin of England, you savage little cur.

Show respect; I'm a king of the highest Excalibur!

You're a peasant in my shadow, so bow down to me, Fenris.

My knights will dominate you; I'll oppress you like Dennis.

Chain your alcoholic ass in the oubliette; get a high-class beating that you won't forget.

So sit down and hail the king, my pet, before you go around making idle threats.

Beowulf
My threats are more than Idle and be sure I've got plenty.

Better call Sir Gawain, your knights are green with envy!

You had a baby with your sister, then he did you in!

I'm bring my lot to Camelot; introduce myself to Gwen!

You got your wife stolen from you by your closest knight.

I guess "bros before hoes" tweren't the prophecy that night.

Arthur season's open 'cause I'm Hrunting Your Highness!

En masse, I spit kickass raps of gold like King Midas! Who won: King Arthur or Beowulf? King Arthur Beowulf