User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 16: Stephen King vs Stephen Hawking

The connection is obvious, plz. King vs Hawking. Ye. Totally.

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

STEPHEN KING!

VERSUS!

STEPHEN HAWKING!

BEGIN!

Stephen King:

This cosmologist is about to learn why not to mess with the master of words,

Wheel your ass on outta here, before I make this cripple’s condition worse.

This Bag of Bones is seeing things if he thinks he’ll win; call you Mike Noonan.

You must be playing Gerald’s Game if you think you’ve got a chance; you’re losing.

But your fate isn’t like Jessie’s husband; you won’t die doing what you love most.

My mass dialect can dissect foes, I release my Dark Side, I’ll send you to the Dead Zone.

I hit hard like my novels, ruin your day like the Langoliers,

They call me crazy and demented, but it’s clear here: your end’s near.

It’s relative to know that any man running against my rhymes is exasperation,

You reek of the scented mark of douche bag, your rhymes Hawking radiate Desperation.

I heard your dad studied Parasitology; I can see why he got stuck with you.

Let’s make this quick, Stephen, this award winning writer, unlike you, has a job to do.

Stephen Hawking:

This lowly writer’s gonna learn why you never mess with the top hawk,

I’m pleasing Jane and Elaine’s black holes; you can’t even make Tabitha’s castle rock.

I run you over with my essence, make bitches wet with my presence,

Your books are only good as paperweights, it’s time you learned a lesson.

If you think Kubrick’s Shining movie is the worst, then you haven’t viewed yours,

I’m a threat to all rappers, like Johnny knockin’ at your door.

Time to break this insane Maine-iac down, you pathetic old clown,

My rhymes transform like Tommyknockers, like gravity, they’ll pull you down,

You’ve subpar, with flow you’re lacking; I’ve got the Eyes of the Dragon,

When I roll up in the scene, I even send Tyson’s ass packing.

Albert Einstein:

This is a class in the science of radical, you better take notes, bitch!

I may be dropping atomic bombs, but the bird here’s the dopest!

Stephen King:

Like Salem; you’re lost, Hawking. So tell your Siri to quit talking.

I rule both Nightmares and Dreamscapes; this little chicken keeps on squawking.

Unlike you, I don’t need a hand other than my dominant to make a good work.

You want a brief history of time? Well, you book’s not that, for sure.

The only giants you stand upon is your massive ego, it makes Kanye’s look flat.

You wanna win this musical poetry? I’m sorry; I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.

Stephen Hawking:

I may not be able to use my legs, but I’ll take The Stand to stop this overhyped dud.

I’m the Chris and Billy to your Carry, I’m about to show you real cold blood.

I have a theory that you’re a scam; your work puts readers through Misery.

While you jerk off to your hometown, I’m making scientific history.

You’ll need some Redemption after this; even machines call you assholes.

You may be the king, but I’m the one rocking the throne!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

Who Won? Stephen King Stephen Hawking

Hint: He'll leave you yeezing