User blog:FrankieRapBattles/Western Philosophers vs. Eastern Philosophers (Remake)

I'm back

For the Western Philosophers vs. Eastern Philosophers battle, there was a few changes I wanted to make, even though the battle was good.

Cast:
Western Philosophers:

George Watsky as Nietzsche

Nice Peter as Plato

EpicLLOYD as Socrates

Zach Sherwin as Aristotle

Eastern Philosophers:

MC Jin as Confucius

Timothy DeLaGhetto as Sun Tzu

Markiplier as Buddha

KRNFX as Lao Tzu


 * When a group raps all together, the verses will be in regular text.

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FRANKIE’S

CONFUCIUS

SUN TZU

BUDDHA

AND LAO TZU

VS.

NIETZSCHE

PLATO

SOCRATES

AND ARISTOTTTLLLEEEEEEEEEE

BEGIN!

Western Philosophers:

I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium!

The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention!

Rolling with the flyest nihilist, the mathematician , and me, their Greek henchman

We got the wisdom, and the wit , that even I couldn’t question

Dropping Western medicine on the East infections

It’s evident you never been our mental type of brethren

We’re better thinkers, better speakers , better rappers , and better men

Eastern Philosophers:

This type of arrogance is sure to be expected

From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is!

You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life.

You lack control of yourselves and of the mic.

While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration ,

Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations!

We filled a nation with patience and a presence for a living ,

And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written!

Western Philosophers:

Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to

When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!

You need to take control of the life you're given!

They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven!

And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job!

Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab!

(Oh!) You flubbed the mission. I'm beating your submissive ass into submission!

Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing!

Now here some rhymes from the one who founded Academy

In Athens, with one of my lasting themes, The Five Regimes

Ya’ll rhymes are too whack, I’m not in the mood for ya

Then we also go against a giant piece of crap like Buddha

Now that we've covered the golden blob and the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan!

Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man!

The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?"

You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping!

Eastern Philosophers:

Bitch, I wrote The Art of War so you better get your guns out!

These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out!

Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS!

Laozi, kick the beat; Buddha, make some noise; now Confucius, drop some bars!

Let me be Candide with you, Aristotle

You claim yourself to the number one model

Of the Western Philosophers

But the East so wise, we don’t need but 2 or 3 words

Your ego's just so distracting.

Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping!

And you killed God so I gotta ask:

Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?

You tried to plant a new German psyche,

But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy!

And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates!

Honestly, I think you owe all 3 of your students here an apology!

Western Philosophers:

I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe

Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi,

'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E,

And I'll end any mother fucker like my name in a spelling bee!

Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip!

Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick!

Well, goddamn, Socrates! You're making things a little tense!

Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment!

I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery!

You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee!

Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank,

Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks

Sorry, but that was Voltaire who hangs with B. Frank

Eastern Philosophers:

I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity!

We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty.

(Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect,

But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!

Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today.

I'll make you move, bitch. Get out The Way!

Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written

That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?

Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place.

Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face?

Okay, I see, but that’s why you’re not number one

I'll smack that potato head ass out of your gay girly bun!

So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies.

Confucius say, you can all hold these fortune cookies!

WHAT IS WINNING?

WHO IS NEXT?

IT'S UP TO YOU TO DECIDE

EPIC-

(as they all are still arguing)

Announcer: SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!

RAP BATTLES OF FRANKIE'S

Who Won? Western Philosophers (Nietzsche, Plato, Socrates, and Aristotle) Eastern Philosophers (Confucius, Buddha, Sun Tzu, and Lao Tzu)