User blog:JKGame/JK Rambles: Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson by Epic Rap Battle Parodies

Oh hey there! Welcome to another new show I am planning on doing occasionally! I have been planning on doing this for about months now, but Amont's reviews (Which are great by the way.) have really started motivating me to finally do it. Originally, I was going to do Cupcakes vs Luna Game by Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta, but I decided to tackle that mess a bit later on. For now, we'll be taking a look at Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson by the one and only Epic Rap Battle Parodies. They honestly need no explanantion. This matchup is a standard, but good matchup. I myself did this matchup before I even joined the wiki. Both Harry Potter and Percy Jackson are series that I have been big fans of for a while. In fact, I recently started rereading the Harry Potter books.

But will this battle do justice to both series? Well, let's see about that. The lyrics will be in bold while my critiques/jokes will be in italics.

Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AICVVq7TVgM

The Announcer of Doom:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

(God, that announcer. I feel like this was the transition where Nathan went from having an ok voice to having the infamous voice that we all know and love today. )

HARRY POTTER!

(This costume isn't awful, but it's not the best. The hair and scar look fine, and I guess the outfit's meant to resemble what he wore in Deathly Hallows. Nice wand, though. It totally doesn't look like some stick you got from your backyard. And apparently that's Ron in the background, though I don't know why he's wearing a jacket with a hood over his head since he never wore a jacket like that. Plus, the camera quality looks awful on him. And speaking of the background, where are they? It's certainly not Hogwarts! It looks more like the gothic apocalypse. And Harry, where are you looking? Did you see an ice cream truck or a bird pass by your window?)

VS!

PERCY JACKSON!

(And Percy, too, looks ok, but not perfect. But oh my goodness, the outline around him looks awful. It's so pixely and glitchy-looking. And what is Percy holding? I'm guessing a trident since Percy's usually depicted wielding it, but here, there's only one point! Tridents have three, hence the prefix "tri" in the name! Either that, or he's holding a broken oar. Also, look at Nathan AKA Grover busting a move right there. Yes, that's supposed to be Grover, Percy's best friend. We'll talk about him later.)

BEGIN!

Percy Jackson:
I am a brave spirited natural leader willing to risk my life for friends.

(Jeez, Justin! Your voice is peaking! Nice cutoff there with the Percy in the background. Looks like you lost a bit of your head. This line's alright, though. Is there gonna be a good payoff?)

I'd say the same for you,

(Man, Harry either looks depressed or braindead there. I guess he heard Percy's first line and realized what he was in for, like "Oh dear lord, no. I'm starting to regret signing up for this.")

but you don't have parents!

(What does not having parents have to do with being a brave leader? I see no correlation with those two!)

I'm the Hero of Olympus, you're just a Half-Blood B**ch,

(Ok, the "Half-Blood Prince" reference would've worked well if Percy claimed if he was one. Harry isn't even a half-blood! Greek gods don't exist in his world! What is Justin doing with his finger? Trying to draw a half-circle and giving up two-thirds through?)

Hermione took my magic wand and gave it a lick!

(No she didn't. That licking part was pretty unneccesary and out-of-character for Percy. Get ready since this won't be the only sex joke in this battle. This is a dumb "Steal yo girl" line since Harry only considered Hermione a friend at best.)

'''Are you and Ron together? That's very gay.'''

(No, Harry and Ginny are together. Also, gay jokes! We really needed those! I'm pretty sure this particular line became a meme in the rap battle community.)

'''You've got some great stories. Ha! J.K.!'''

(This battle is great so far. Ha! J.K.! Also, another cutoff!)

Abra-kadabra-alakazam-kazam,

(Accio filler line! Wait, did you shoot lightning out of that staff thing? I guess Percy really is the Lightning Thief.)

I'll lock you with some shackles in the Prison of Azkaban!

(That body acting makes you look like you're trying to hug someone way shorter than you.)

Harry Potter:
Bloody Hell, we got an emo nag who thinks he's all the best,

(Hey, there's the obligatory homophobic slur! I changed it here so that I won't be blocked for this. Percy isn't emo! If you were talking about Nico de Angelo, then you'd probably be right. And Harry, can you put your arms down? Shaking your arms while putting them out doesn't equal good body acting!)

With his Uncle Zeus and his major dyslex...ia.

(That flow was a bit rough. The subtitle changing was a bit of a nice touch since you're talking about dyslexia, but "dyslexia" and "best" don't rhyme.)

You're just a little swaggot from the 2000's decade,

(What the heck is a swaggot? At least you didn't say the homophobic slur.)

You didn't know those Greek God's big talk won't get you laid.

(You say it like as if Percy thought it would. That makes it sound like Percy wanted to get laid and figured the god's big talk would have him succeed. I don't think getting laid was the first thing on Percy's mind...ever.)

Very funny that you say that Ron and I are together,

But you got a goat boy, you can't do better.

(Is being a goat boy a bad thing? Are you discriminating against them? And finally you did something other than putting your arms out and shaking.)

I got Hermione Granger, she's right next to my face.

(No she isn't. Unless she's wearing your Invisibility Cloak or something, it's pretty obvious that she's not next to your face. And the lip-syncing is noticeably bad on the beginning since you can clearly see that his lips are closed yet he's still talking. Harry should consider becoming a ventriloquist. The wand here actually looks like a wand now instead of a random branch, too.)

Did I tell you that my wand rocked your girlfriend Annabeth Chase?

(You guys are painting Harry and Percy as if they're hormone-fueled teens who only think about getting all the girls. Can you guys write disses that are not sex-oriented for once?!)

Grover Underwood:
You sick bastard, why did you diss my best friend?

('Cause it's a rap battle. He's supposed to diss his opponent, idiot. Alright, the costume. You barely resemble Grover, Nathan. I think you just used the "Wear whatever's in your closet" technique. If I saw you without any context, I wouldn't know you were supposed to be Grover. Nathan sounds kind of weird, too. It's like a mix between his normal voice and an attempt at an accent. Right now, you're looking like you're standing on steam and then you're launching into the air sideways as if you're a plane taking off. I didn't know you could fly, Grover.)

I think somebody's jealous 'cause their magic stick don't stand,

("Friend" and "Stand" don't rhyme! And can we stop it with the innuendos? Also, "You're just jealous becase ____" cliche.)

It took you seven books just to kill a bad guy,

(Technically it took him three since Voldemort actually came back in the fourth book. It took you guys five books to kill Kronos. Plus, of course it would take Harry a while to have the power to beat Voldemort! If he killed him right in book and page one, then we wouldn't have a series or even a story at all.)

And the one you trusted the most, heh, he had to die.

(Are you talking about Dumbledore? I guess so. The one you and Percy trusted ended up betraying you. Granted, he redeemed himself, but still. You guys definitely got the shorter end of the stick.)

Seriously, grow up, stop using fake card tricks,

(You're acting like as if Harry's freakin' Yugi Muto with that line. Did I miss a part in the movies and books where Voldemort says, "Lets d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" and then he and Harry started playing Yu-Gi-Oh and Voldemort was sent to the Shadow Realm? Actually, I'd probably watch that.)

Your magic wand is probably 100x bigger than your **ck.

(Oh, I didn't know ERB10 contributed to the writing of this battle!)

I have to say that ginger friend of yours is indeed gay,

(Hang on...you're not Grover nor Nathan! *Takes off Grover's head* I knew it! You were J.K. Rowling herself all along!)

So you two listen up, the closet is that-a-way.

(We all know you've more than a boggart in your closet! ERB did this sort of diss better.)

Ron Weasley:
Thanks for pointing to the place where you and Percy pucker up,

(Now we have Ron Weasley played by the Deadboi @sshole himself, Zander. Like I said before, his camera quality looks crap. He looks like he's fading away. Also, ENOUGH WITH THESE KINDS OF LINES!!!)

Even Luke has better looks than you two, so good luck!

(Good luck on getting girls? But you just said that Percy and Grover pucker up, implying that they're in a relationship. Are you trying to say they're bi?)

'''You're a demigod, Percy? That seems a bit made up.'''

(You and wizards in general are made up, too, dumb@ss!)

Are you sick ducks the reason there's skeet in Hufflepuff's cup?

(Why Hufflepuff's cup of all things? And stop. it. with. these. lines! Can you actualy diss them for their actions during the story or their character flaws?)

My basilisk is Slytherin to Anna's Chamber of Secrets,

(Ok, this is a cleverer "steal your girl" line than the rest in this battle, but you're not listening to what I said!)

Harry, shall we Avada Kedavra these phonies?

(You should Avada Kedavra the guys who made this battle instead. (I'm joking, I'm joking.))

Harry Potter:
Yes, let's.

(Where's Harry during this shot? Is he wearing his Invisibility Cloak? Maybe he's trying to hide himself from embarassment after spitting those awful lines.)

Ron Weasley:
Before we kill ya and be done with this, we just wanna remind ya,​​​​​​

The light from this spell will permanently blind ya!

(Wow, that last shot might actually blind someone if it lingered any longer. Also, this. Why would you even need to remind them that a spell will blind them if they're already gonna die? It wouldn't matter since by that point it won't be just your eyes that won't function anymore.)

Nathan-nator 3: Rise of the Announcer:
WHO WON?

(I don't know.)

WHO'S NEXT?

(Slenderman and Enderman.)

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

(Huh, even the announcer seems to want to get this battle over with.)

Conclusion
So this was Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson by Epic Rap Battle Parodies. This was one of their earliest battle and it definitely shows. The positives, first. The costumes (Minus Grover), casting, and rapping was ok. (Though Nathan sounded a bit odd.) Even the editing wasn't incredibly awful, but it was just mediocre. Justin's green screen quality was pretty bad, and the body acting was meh. The beat isn't too memorable, but I guess it sort of fits. The fatal flaw of this battle, though, has to be the lyrics. Not much disses on the characters themselves, but instead the verses were 95% innuendos and "steal your girl" lines.

Overall, I'll give this the Percy Jackson Lightning Thief movie out of ten. Mediocre for some people, but for the die hard fans and even people who aren't fans, it sucks pretty badly.

Thanks for reading and if you have any criticism or points that I missed, feel free to point them out! That's it for today! Peace out. *Apparates out of here.*