User blog:TCalderon/Sailor Moon vs Neil Armstrong - Weeb Shit vs Anything

Huzzah! I'm back with a brand new battle! And it's my first one to feature a real life person; neat!

For the longest time, I had planned to do Sailor Moon vs Wonder Woman, but that matchup was a little too bland for my liking. Then I remembered that the "Astronaut" is based from Greek words "Astron" (meaning star) and "Nautes" (meaning sailor), making an astronaut a "Star Sailor". Meaning that Neil Armstrong is quite literally Sailor Moon, and I thought that shit was funny, and decided to base a rap battle on it. Have fun with it.

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WEEB SHIT VS ANYTHING

SAILOR MOON

VS

NEIL ARMSTRONG

BEGIN!

Sailor Moon:

In the name of the moon, I shall punish this fool right here!

It’s guardian of love and justice against a discount Buzz Lightyear!

You may be “Armstrong”, but I’m the one who’s feeling strong, bro!

Got lyrics that’ll stick in your brain, like my theme song, bro!

'''Try to take me on? Bring it! I’ve got a whole crew beside me!'''

'''Use my Moon Tiara, launch it and slice apart your heiny! '''

You’re a bigger pussy than Luna, but I’m used to taking down bozos!

Leave your more forgotten than the rest of the Apollo!

Neil Armstrong:

Houston, we have a problem; someone let a teenage girl out

Who’s thinking she can take me on with her team of girl scouts

She thinks herself a legend, but her appeal is superficial

When her lyrics are more bland than Sailor Moon: Crystal!

I took claim of your namesake; what could you hope to do to me?

I may rep Apollo “11”, but tonight I’m tough as Creed!

Your fairy tale shtick can’t compare to this galactic roamer,

I made history, while you were giving boys their first boner!

Sailor Moon:

'''Making history? Tell that to those conspiracy theorists!'''

I’d sooner believe that Uranus and Neptune are cousins, you ditz!

'''And even if it was real, that’s the only thing you did of note! '''

You resigned from NASA, giving you nothing else to boast!

Neil Armstrong:

'''You’re just a high school loser, who’s busy sucking huge DICs! '''

With a fanbase made of 90s kids and perverted manchild geeks!

'''I’d rather go back to the Korean War than this fighting this lass! '''

Who’s disses are more useless than her own Tuxedo Mask!

Sailor Moon:

'''Your insults won’t be hurtin’ me! I’ll leave you needing surgery!'''

Beat your ass so bad, I’d think you’re softer than Sailor Mercury!

I’ve defeated Chaos, so there’s really nothing you can do!

Wouldn’t be surprised if Stanley Kubrick wrote your verses, too!

'''This space race won’t save face! I’ll lay waste this disgrace!'''

You’re way past your hay day, while my legacy stays great!

Face it; you’ll never live down your galactic adventures!

A bigger disappointment than your academic endeavors!

Neil Armstrong:

'''You done with your whining? Expected as much from a crybaby'''

Who comes off as way less mature than freakin’ Sailor Chibi!

Your verses dragged on longer than your transformation sequence

You can’t intimidate when studying is your biggest weakness!

I opened up a new era for exploring the universe!

While this bimbo was busy prancing around in her miniskirt!

I’m taking Giant Leaps above this silly cartoon!

Consider this One Big Step landing on a Sailor’s Moon!

WHO WON?!

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

Who Won? Sailor Moon Neil Armstrong -

Opponents in need for hire!

Speed Racer (might have him against Captain Falcon)

Gendi Ikari (thinking about him against Mr. Burns)

Gon Freecss

Afro Samurai

And a Doki Doku Literature Club character (leaning toward Monika)