Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child



Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child is the sixtieth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the second episode of Season 5. It features Scottish-born British chef and television personality, Gordon Ramsay, rapping against culinary PBS television host, Julia Child. It was released on May 18th, 2016.

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Gordon Ramsay

Mamrie Hart as Julia Child

Ceciley Jenkins, Michelle Maloney, Yev Belilovskiy, Layne Pavoggi, and Jay Houn as Gordon Ramsay's production team (cameos)

Dante Cimadamore, Mike Betette, Sulai Lopez, and Felicia Folkes as the blue team (cameos)

Pebbles as herself (cameo)

Lyrics
[Note: Gordon Ramsay is in  light orange, Julia Child is in light blue , and the blue team is in blue .]

Gordon Ramsay:
And that's how you make a perfect risotto.

Right. Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table.

I've got exactly two minutes, and you should be grateful

'Cause I'm in the fucking weeds with all these shows to pitch!

I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots  green-lit!

I'm a seasoned skillet; you're a PAM-sprayed pan!

I got Michelin stars; you're like the Michelin Man!

I'm rolling in dough like beef wellington from hollering,

And I'm shitting on you like I'm whack-flows intolerant!

Julia Child:
Oh, isn't that a wonderful thing?

A grumpy little chef who thinks he can bring

Enough stuff to justify getting rough

With the butter-loving queen of the Bourguignon Boeuf!

I rock hard as concrete on top of these bomb beats!

Been chopping the pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's teats!

I served America dutifully, and I slice lard beautifully!

I reign supreme from shark repellent to charcuterie!

Go on and cross your arms in that B-boy stance!

When it comes to haute cuisine, there's one F-word: France!

Here's a nice amuse-bouche: take a poor abused youth,

Set a thirty-year timer, voila! Huge douche!

You're a namby-pamby candy-ass pansy, Gordon Ramsay!

You couldn't rap your way out of a pastry bag, understand me?

I laugh and create; you berate and destroy,

But fear, my dear boy, is less scrumptious than joy!

Gordon Ramsay:
I'm glad you got that off your giant, flabby chest!

I'd call you a donkey, but you look more like Shrek!

When the Iron Man chef busts a rhyme,

I'll open up on you like a fine red wine!

I'm a culinary innovator; you're no creator!

Regurgitating French plates like a glorified translator!

I'm fresh; you're past your expiration date!

Alright, fuck it! Blue team, drop the bouillabaisse! (Yes, chef!)

I've seen your little show, and it sure ain't pretty!

One part Big Bird, two parts Miss Piggy!

You can't test me with your fatty recipes!

Call your book Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!

I mean, it's rubbish! (Yes, chef!) Look at page 408!

Tell me, who the fuck (yes, chef!) wants to learn to cook calf brains?!

You call these rhymes raw? (No, chef!) They're stale and soft!

Now, here, take this jacket… Now, give it back and fuck off!

Julia Child:
Oh please, your defeat's guaranteed!

Concede, I've got this in the bag: sous-vide!

(Ha!) Michelin indeed, you've done well for yourself,

But as a person, you couldn't get a star on Yelp!

I could freeze a steak with those frosted tips!

What's with that bitter taste in every word from your lips?

You scream at women, but the fits that you're pitching

Make you the pissiest bitch in the kitchen!

I'll pat you on the head, melt you, and stick it to ya!

Anything's good with enough butter! Booya!

Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me!

Now, eat a dick! Bon appétit!

Scrapped lyrics
[Note: Gordon Ramsay is in light orange, Julia Child is in light blue , and Jean-Philippe Susilovic is in gray .]

Gordon Ramsay:
Oh wait, J. P., drop the bouillabaisse! (Yes, chef!)

Julia Child:
Ooh! Isn't that an adorable thing?

A grumpy cruel chef who thinks he can bring

With the original queen of the bourguignon boeuf!

I rock harder than concrete on top of these bomb beats!

I've been chopping up pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's teats!

General

 * This is the first battle since Adam vs Eve to feature a sole one-on-one male vs female battle.
 * This is the first battle since Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock to include an abstract background.
 * This is the second battle to feature footage which was not filmed in front of a screen, as the production set and Quiche Rescue are filmed in Maker Studios and EpicLLOYD's home, respectively. The first is Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock.
 * This is the third battle in which an actor(s) portrays themselves, after Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD and Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe.
 * This is the first battle to feature an animal portraying themselves.
 * The real Gordon Ramsay is the seventeenth person confirmed to know about their rap battle.
 * He is the ninth person to have acknowledged the video on Twitter.
 * A preview of Bruce Banner can be seen during the Behind the Scenes end slate of the outro.
 * As seen in the second Behind the Scenes video, Jean-Philippe Susilovic was originally going to appear instead of the blue team.
 * Excluding the announcer, this is the first battle since Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter to not have Nice Peter appear at all, neither physically nor vocally.

Production

 * This episode was released two days later than originally scheduled due to technical difficulties.
 * As seen in the main Behind the Scenes video, a scene featuring Julia Child popping up from behind a plate of shrimp jelly was initially going to be in the battle, but it was ultimately scrapped. This was likely due to part of the jelly giving way while it was being set on the plate.

Errors

 * The chef portrayed by Sulai Lopez can be seen taking away Child's cookbook, yet it appears back on the counter in the next shot.
 * In the same cut, a pot sitting on the counter next to the cookbook disappears.
 * During Ramsay's line, "I mean, it's rubbish!", the chef portrayed by Felicia Folkes is seen running to the left side of the table, while Lopez's chef is on the right side; however, in the very next line, "Yes, chef!", which zooms in on her, she is on the right side of the table, while Lopez's chef runs behind her from the left side. In a subsequent shot, Folkes' chef can be seen running from the left side of the room back to where she just was on the right.