User blog:XxSolarEclipsexX/Dr. Oz vs. Dr. Phil

I think the connection is pretty obvious for this one. Bound to happen eventually so of course I made it happen because I'm a great person, even if this ain't no charity now.

Beat
this ain't no charity now

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

DR OZ...

VERSUS!

DR PHIL...

BEGIN!

Dr. Phil
Come on up on stage, Dr. Oz, and why don't you take a seat?

Let's explore into your life and determine why you can't admit defeat.

You were on Oprah, you got your own show,

Making lies about weight-loss pills just to pull in the dough.

You like to meditate to go onto where the truth lies?

Why don't we pop your mendacity and watch your show capsize?

You're misleading the broken and injured and gullible generation that's been bred onto this Earth,

How you still keep your career is incredibly berserk!

I should call up the FDA, before the kids die of all that arsenic,

Someone's getting juiced to the pulp, and you're extremely inaccurate.

That alternate medicine ain't curing the cancer of the propaganda show you host,

I'm breaking free from my diet just to make sure that you're toast.

Dr. Oz
I think you should clean up your ears and overdose on some ritalin,

And listen to the actual truth and drop all of your pessimism!

Me spreading propaganda? You're so stubborn, would make sense if you're autistic.

64 years old and yelling at drunks on TV while raiding their homes? Aren't you chauvinistic?

120 bucks a month to lose weight yet the actual effects were null?

You've been skating along too long now body, and your whole shtick is getting old.

Your show is public embarrassment and so is that nonexistent hairline.

2000 thousand episodes and counting? That's way too much airtime.

Maybe you could spend your time more productively and actually educate the masses!

Instead of throwing hissy fits on stage because no one has their head up your three asses!

But the only notable numbers of yours that are growing is the digits on the scale!

Let's do a comparison, I'm a well educated scientist and you're a slow in the head snail.

Dr. Phil
You're not a god damn scientist, you're simply a phony!

Reading from the screen as the audience chokes on that baloney.

How can you call yourself a doctor when you spread fear and false statements?

It sounds like you're living in a fantasy world and you're head needs some maintenance!

I'll be personally mailing your bullshit organization a cease and desist.

Your show is just a leech off society and you've personally been dismissed!

Dr. Oz
Get off your high horse, McGraw, we've all got different opinions and beliefs,

For someone who's a psychologist, you can't keep your emotional outbursts discreet!

So come on Doc, let on out, what's causing you all this distress?

Knowing that I'm both academically and lyrically the best?

Forget crackwhore Mrs. Spears, you're the one who needs an intervention!

You're a troll physically and mentally, and the result of failed inbred conception!

Dr. Phil
You're calling me an inbred and trying to be a damn psychologist?

Your entire career is pretending you are some kind of biologist!

Dr. Oz
You wouldn't understand facts if they slapped you across the face!

I can hear your footsteps across the studios, I think you should lose some weight!

Dr. Phil
Me on one of your diets? I bet you're still supporting that homeopathy!

The fiction you spread across humanity is a god damn atrocity!

Dr. Oz
You have no idea what you're talking about, and you sound insane!

But what on Earth is that rumbling sound that's echoing this way?

Oprah Winfrey
I'm the reason both of you even have a career, and I've got my own network!

All you two ungrateful bitches are doing is complaining who has the larger net worth!

Oprah is in the house, and it's time for you two bitches to sit down,

All this useless fighting is making you both look like misinformed clowns!

I know you need to vent your frustrations, and you won't be as golden as me,

But why can't you two seek friendship and collaboration, and think positively?

Negativity will only get you a headline, while working hard equals success!

And acting like two bimbos in a drunk pub fight is just a hot damn mess!

I hope Oprah Winfrey has taught you a lesson, and you can stop acting like kids.

Now get the hell out of my studio, you've both been dismissed!

Poll
Who Won? Dr. Oz Dr. Phil Oprah Winfrey