User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Rap Battles of Fiction Series 4 Episode 2 - Kirito vs Brian D

Do you wanna play a game? Well, you can't. Not unless you've attended the right high school or proven yourself a survivor by enduring two years in an MMO. Today we have one person from each category duking it out to see which professional gamer cab take and deal the most damage.

I would like to thank Cyan for proofreading one of the verses and Drak for persuading me to write this. Sword Art Online's moody protagonist, Kirito, fights it out with Video Game High School's lowest scoring student, Brian D, in this video game duel.

The Cast
EpicLLOYD as Kirito (denoted by blue )

Alex Farnham as Brian D (denoted by white)

Nice Peter as Video game announcer (voice only, denoted by italics)

The Battle
Link Start! It's The Law you can't Beat the Beta

Summing up a skill gap, there's a difference in data

Between the badass sword fighter and the compulsive liar

Cos I'm spitting burns to leave his romantic Field on Fire

Wander through the levels, I'm bonus packing more punch

And I'd sooner race Ted than sit down for your turkey lunch

Imma play this rap game, try and face it in the Matrix

I've got the Ki to your defeat, just like President Shane did

It's your Swan song, I'm strong leave you dead like Fred Wong

But you're wrong to give your heart to someone who went gone

The Daily Dean flash, crash Jax like I'm Jumping at the chance

And crash your l33tmass, Brian, whoopsies, did Kazuto do that

You want to duel over the commander, fine, meet your match

Because Saitchi ignored this Calamari when he called out the trap

And then she died and you cried, call up Klein to finish your lines

I'd rather take a trip to social gaming than engage in Alfheim Online

I've been accepted to school you on the principles of gaming

You watched your guild perish cos you were too busy training

And failing to break floors and face the flaws that you ignored

If there's a rule about PKing then Brian D just killed The Law

I shock bots with headshots, no scope, I'm that explosive

Ran to a Cabin in the Woods cos your oath left you demoted

He's good with the ladies but then his sword skills always flop

Your health is flashing in the Reds, this is one boss you can't stop

A Gale pulls your bullets off track, your gun can't match my blade

Your Calhoun's personal slave, your tuition fees ain't getting' paid

I've faced more threatening opponents, sowed fear within my foes

Its Game Over for Brian, I've survived for two whole years on this flow

I'd sooner face down Asuna than declare this punk the winner

Cook a dog's dinner, flirt with every girl, like you're stuck on Tinder

You wanna mock my predicament with that life you have at home?

Mom ignores you for the sport and you're perpetually friendzoned

That Craft of War you specialise in has left you all dishevelled

I'm draconic, you took online dating to a whole new level

Your shows rejected by the masses, each arc just went downhill

I'm Laughing, you're in your Coffin, Brian D has achieved the kill

Who won? Kirito Brian D