User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 10: Eminem vs Macklemore

(For the first battle I wrote in 2014, I knew I'd have to do something special, so I discarded fictional characters for a change and did a rap battle featuring...rappers. Looking back, I'm not sure if I was quite the pedigree to do justice to these two rappers that I am a big fan of, but other people seemed to like it, so...I guess I didn't do to bad a job. Also, due to the lack of rap battles posted on Thurdays compared to Fridays, I have decided to change my rota from Mondays and Fridays to Mondays and Thursdays.)

CYAN'S RAP BATTLES!



VS.



BEGIN!

Macklemore: Walk into the club like “whaddup, I got a big cock”.

Wait, this is 8-mile. I walked all the way to the boondocks!

You keep your gritty sidewalks. I’ll stay clean on my soapbox

Preaching the radio-friendly truth for those in the school of hard knocks.

Ryan Lewis has my back, but I won’t call him my homie.

I don’t try to be black. That white trash act is below me.

You’re the real Slim Shady, and I’m just another fish in the sea,

But it doesn’t feel so empty now that I’ve spread across the country.

Eminem: You’re a fish in my sea? That why it took you 12 years to make a splash?

This guy gets his clothes from a thrift shop. And I thought I was fucking trailer trash!

You’re so beneath me, man, you’re not even close to being my rival.

Look! Vanilla Ice just hit his fuckin’ menstrual cycle!

You’re trying to be hip hop’s white knight, but you just can’t hack it.

Elton John, he’s gay, but you’re a faggot.

You’re killing rap! Matta fact, dog. Here’s a pencil.

Don’t come back here ‘til you write something suspenseful.

Macklemore: I took your top spot for a year, and I didn’t have to be as filthy.

I’m killing rap? I wouldn’t be the only one here who’s guilty.

It’s all just words until you get them tied up with gangs.

Then your little Toy Soldiers all fall down, just like Stan.

You spit words rooted in hate, the same hate that’s caused wars.

If you’re a Rap God, you’re the one flooding the earth with this sh**storm.

I mean, you have ‘Proof’ that your world is too dangerous, yet you persist,

In this hockey mask slasher fic that’s enough to get even me pissed!

Eminem: Hey, I’m a big enough man to admit my faults where I got ‘em.

And I love my mom and daughter. I promised they won’t be forgotten.

Let's get down to business. Never try to judge me, dude!

You’re from Seattle! You don't know what the fuck I’ve been through!

Rap Battle 101: Don’t let me go second or first.

But you’d lose a freestyle battle to that bastard Fred Durst!

I’m gonna lay down Marshall law up in this bitch, Ben Haggerty.

This wasn’t a rap battle for you, it was a motherfuckin’ catastrophe!

WHO WON? Eminem Macklemore