Adam

"You want a bite of my fruit? Well, you can swallow the truth!"

- Adam

Adam battled his wife Eve, in Adam vs Eve. He was portrayed by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the Rapper
Adam is a figure from the Book of Genesis. In the creation story, he is depicted as the first man and the first human ever created on Earth. God is said to have formed Adam from the soil of Earth with His breath, and in His image. Adam tended the Garden of Eden under God's direction, but found himself lonely very quickly. When God noticed this, He put Adam into a deep slumber and removed one of Adam's ribs, creating Eve to help him and be his wife. Together, the two were to tend to the garden and all the creations within it, and they could eat any fruit that they wished except for the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Coaxed by a serpent, the two ate of the fruit and their eyes and minds were opened, giving way to sin and, through sin, death. In some Christian schools of thought, Adam and Eve are believed never to have existed as individual people, but to be a representation of humanity as a whole.

Verse 1
My life was fine till you had to come along and wreck it.

Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?

You cry about everything but can't decide what you want.

"I'm hungry," "I'm fat," "I'm cold," "I'm hot."

You call that complex, but yo, I call you a mess.

You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed!

You got a lotion for this. You got a cream for that.

Got any perfume that smells like "Get the fuck off my back?"

When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming,

Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn into a demon!

It ain't Summer Eve, don't try to play me like a douche.

You want a bite of my fruit? Well, you can swallow the truth!

Verse 2
I wasn't listening. Are you still flapping those lips?

I was just thinking, "Yo, did I give up a rib for this?"

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is.

All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

...

I'm sorry.

Verse 3
Alright, nice!

Verse 4
Okay, that's fine, we can eat.

Trivia

 * He and Eve are the first theological characters, originating solely from religion or mythology.
 * If the Creation stories aligned with real-world time, then Adam would be the earliest-born rapper overall to appear in an ERB, and the earliest-born male rapper. But, being a theological character, these distinctions instead pass to Moses.
 * In terms of fictional characters, only Gandalf is older than Adam. Gandalf was said to exist in his universe from its beginnings (in Middle-earth time).
 * Adam is the first, and so far only, man to rap against a woman, as he rapped against Eve.
 * This is not counting Nice Peter as Lady Gaga, since both characters in that rap battle were female.
 * Adam and Eve are the first two rappers to not have ERB character bios written about them on the official website.