User blog:WonderPikachu12/Pepsiman vs Santa Claus. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Off-Season



This is one hell of a weird Christmas battle, right?

It took me forever to figure out a Christmas battle to do. I've been dying to do one for a long while now. There are no original Christmas video game characters, or at least none that I can find and have a decent amount of usable material to them. Then after reading some, I had read about Santa Claus being a mascot for Coca-Cola, and then it hit me. Pepsiman vs Santa Claus. Pepsi vs Coca-Cola. I'm kinda surprised that the idea didn't hit me sooner, but admittedly I did originally have Kool-Aid Man planned against Pepsiman so Pepsiman wasn't the first on my mind as a usable opponent.

Yes, I'm doing a soda-themed battle for Christmas in a series about video games against historical characters.

Motherfucking deal with it.

Put like, no effort into this, so enjooooyyy.

(Starts at 0:11)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY

SANTA CLAUS

VS

PEPSIMAAAAAN

BEGIN!

 Pepsiman: 

(0:23)

It's the next Cold War, a cola war! Silver Surfer against Fat Albert! Let's see, can

You stand up to this? You travel the whole world and still manage to be hefty, man!

Who can take down a bloated, greedy Hallmark mascot? Pepsi can!

I'll crush you like a Pepsi can when you try to step to Pepsimaaan!

I'm rocking chains, you're whipping slaves! Can't get children to behave if,

You're known for abiding to the rich snobs and ignoring the poor kids.

While I'm racin' to save them! Give them that cool drink that they need!

Zap you into a pile of Pepsi cans if you try to rap back against me!

 Santa Claus: 

(0:45)

Ho ho ho! You got no flow, bro! I'm a stone cold coal pro, fo' sho'!

When stepping to the North Pole, you better know, we make it snow!

You fit both our products to a T; you're a real soft drink! I'm vicious!

Cola has that refreshing taste that makes you go - "Ah, delicious!"

Coke will leave the rep for Pep' to go and choke on his own fizz.

With the way you look, it's like you want to be on the naughty list!

Shake a superhero-wannabe relentlessly and leave him to burst.

I'm sure you can take this beating, with how much you always get hurt!

Pepsiman:

(1:07)

Damn, you're soulless and grainy, like you were ginger bread! (Hey!)

With all that corn syrup in your soda, I'm sure your liver's dead! (Hey!)

You're just like grandma, 'cause you've been sleighed by this sexy man!

But that's just what you get when you challenge Pepsimaaaaaaan!

 Santa Claus: 

(1:19)

You're too busy showing off your Jingle bells! Oh man, I must depart!

I've goodies to deliver! Bear, take it from here! You're Slender Man meets Muscle March!

You're unbearable! Unplayable! You've got no Polar Expressions!

Merry Christmas to all now that we've shown whose soda is the best, son!

CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE FREAKING HOLIDAY!

IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OTHER FREAKING HOLIDAY!

IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHRISTMAS,

YOU'RE PROBABLY A JEW.

AND I DON'T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

'''BUM BUM. BUM BUM.'''

BUM BUM BA DUM BUM BUM.

Who won? Pepsiman Santa Claus and a Coca-Cola Polar Bear