User blog:Jake MultiSuperVids/A Better Note

I've done some thinking today. Most of today, I've sort of been to myself thinking, not really talking to anyone online. About myself. About my friends. About how am seen by the people around me. I've been thinking about why I am in the position I am in now, and who shaped me to be here. Most importantly, I've done some thinking about where I go from here.

I've come to the conclusion that the right thing to do is find an even ground. The way I reacted to being hurt was justified, but unprofessional. Understandable, but not necessarily stable. You get the idea. I decided that a follow-up was needed.

Over the recent months, I've become better and better friends with the Epic Rap Battle Parodies community. We've made really close bonds, and despite what you may think, they are great people who have been amazing friends to me, especially Justin and Zander. Thus the reason I become defensive when I hear people being ridicoulously rude and constantly bashing them when they are brought up, and they are quick to assist me in a situation when I'm upset. They are people to, and I know for a fact that some of the things a select few of you have said really effect them. They don't care if you don't like their content, all they ever hated was that they could never be around you without ERBP being brought up and made look like shit.

I cannot deny that I've never liked it here. MSRBoC. The fun parts of Hurt/Heals. The Tourney. Meeting Peter. Even making someone's friends list. It made me feel like I was actually something to someone. I bogs my mind that all that has happened here happened within only two years. Even then, I have things I regret I never got to do here. Complete my series before it became an audio one. Actually have the host finish his Hurt/Heal this time. Hell, Noah and I were even going to have the long wanted battle of our series when I finished mine.

Unfortunately, even after calming down, I realize I still have really little desire to continue being a part of this community anymore, nor being in touch with those here. I'm moving on to other things in my life, and not just ERBP. I can't keep coming back to a site where it just seems like [http://epicrapbattlesofhistory.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:MultiSuperVids/Soooo.. I] don't fit in with the community. Despite bothering to come back after last night, I am still deeply emotionally hurt from last night due to the fact that, it feels people I have loved for two years and my relasionships with them were reduced to nothing in a night. My thoughts weren't listened to. My feelings weren't cared about. I became a hated enemy of everyone startlingly fast, even after what I thought was a big reform for me and months of being able to be around with no incidents. If I knew that those stupid comments about Nail were going to be taken 100% seriously, I wouldn't have said them. This does not change the fact that I now know what people actually think of me. I'm not trying to guilt trip, I'm just being upfront on how upset it feels to me, even if other people don't care.

As for visits, don't expect many. I was already becoming less and less active, so this sorta just boosted the inevitable. My decision is final. I'd rather leave ex-friends as neutral then try and stay for them to become full-time enemies of mine.

That's all I have to say. I appreciate those who left somewhat polite comments on the last blog despite the rash behavior. All I request is that, if you decide to comment, I'd rather read something with meaning then some one word message showing that you obviously don't care. If you don't, then just don't comment.

Goodbye, ERB Wiki. I won't forget you guys and the good times we used to have.

~ Jake