User blog:JKGame/Aqua vs Azura - Epic Rap Battles: Fire Emblem vs History

Hi there! Welcome back to another installment of Epic Rap Battles: Fire Emblem vs History!

Now some of you may be thinking, "Crap, another Fire Emblem Fates battle?" But don't worry. Though I still have Fates characters planned for future battles, I have matchups for characters from other games in mind for now. Plus, this one just seemed like it would be pretty fun to write, and it was.

That's all I have to say for now, so let's go!

"Princess of Nohr taken to Hoshido and ally of Corrin in Fire Emblem Fates, Azura, and everyone's favorite useless goddess from the anime KonoSuba, Aqua, battle each other to see which light-blue haired water manipulating waifus is superior. Also, Azura's name in Japanese is Aqua, so there's that connection as well."

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES: FIRE EMBLEM VS HISTORY!!!

AQUA!

VS!

AZURAAAAAA!!!

BEGIN!

Azura:
You are the ocean's gray waves....

(Azura then stops singing and turns around to face Aqua.)

Goodness, I'm put up against a failure of a deity in this battle rap?

At least unlike this spoiled brat, I'm actually useful in combat

Acted high and mighty in the heavens; good thing you've been knocked down a peg

But now you only waste your time being stuck in debt and emptying kegs

Aqua:
Hey, excuse me! Is that how you usually talk to a goddess?!

Got all my stats maxed out, enough to put an end to this songstress!

You're gonna choke even worse than when when you were strangled by your cousin

Or as if you had that wish-granting choker all wrapped around your neck!

So you're telling me that your penchant harms you from every use?

I should hand that thing to Darkness; she'd like it far more than you!

Think you're superior to a goddess? Ha! You're one Fantastic Dreamer!

So why don't you go and disappear as if you just said the V-word?!

Azura:
With all the constant whining and screaming coming from this dunce

It'd truly be a Blessing if you finally shut your mouth for once

You're just a massive attention wh*re who's thriving off of praise

And the only flow you've unleashed are tears streaming from your face

Can't blame Kazuma for wanting to be Lost in Thoughts All Alone

You're a bigger coward than Iago, couldn't even handle a few toads

Like your friend Darkness' aims, all your attacks will simply miss

While my lance will leave you more abused than you do to poor Wiz

Aqua:
Speaking of Wiz, that's what I'm gonna do all over you when this battle's done!

Somehow, this singer's verses are lacking! Should've left it to your son!

Plus, I'll be the one abusing you, give you childhood flashbacks!

You're so fragile, it's insane! You're low in health and defense stats!

Always explaining things to Corrin, but can you explain this:

How does a simple costume change fool an entire audience?!

You're just so boring as a character; At least I'm actually fun!

You're no demon or zombie, but you still can't touch me, Nohrian scum!

Azura:
I won't be losing to someone who spent all her skill points on party tricks

Every problem in the Fantasy World was your fault to begin with

Not even Elise herself acts as immature as this foe

No wonder you're afflicted with misfortunes, with your luck stats so low.

And being all about fun doesn't mean you're full of waifu material

No amount of @ss-wiggling will grant you any sex appeal

Even with one contribution, you managed to ruin a medicinal spring

You'll always be an ocean's mistake who was only destined for memes

Aqua:
Thanks for that verse, Azura! Now I can get one extra turn

So forgettable your history's been erased off the face of the earth!

Maybe in your next reincarnation, your tales will actually be decent

'Cause like your endings in your two games, you've been dissolved: dead!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!

EPIC RA-RA-RAP BATTLES: FIRE EMBLEM VS HISTORY!!!!

Poll
Who won? Aqua Azura