User blog:WonderPikachu12/Harvey Beaks vs Harvey Birdman



Back in September, I'd fully written this battle by myself to be featured on the YouTube fanmade series Cartoon Made Rap Battles. I was really excited and super proud of how the battle turned out, especially since I was a huge fan of CMRB at the time and was grateful as fuck to have gotten the chance to be part of the writing team. Then just recently, I realized they're a bunch of dicks and I got booted out of the crew for no reason with literally no reason, so I just decided to jump ship completely and take this battle with me. I wrote it all on my own, so it's mine. And thus I decided to upload it here.

There's a random line mentioning BoJack Horseman, 'cause the context is that there's another battle planned where it's supposed to seem like BoJack Horseman vs Harvey Birdman, but then Eric Duckman comes in and cuts off Harvey Birdman to rap against BoJack himself. It's pretty nonsensical out of context since I probably won't be uploading BoJack vs Duckman here at all.

Shout out to Night, who just uploaded a battle with Harvey Birdman as well the other day, which you can check out here if you have not yet seen it already, which idk why you haven't yet 'cause it's amazing.

So ye. Here we've got a battle between two bird dudes named Harvey, one a kid that wants to break the rules and be a rebel but is too pure-hearted, the other who is a lawyer and enforcer of rules that ends up being pretty shady in terms of following the law himself.

No title cards atm, 'cause I'm wayyy too lazy to go through the effort right now. Maybe I'll add them later.

Enjoy!

(Starts at 0:03)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

HARVEY BEAKS

VS

HARVEY BIRDMAN

BEGIN!

Harvey Birdman:

Rules were made to be broken, and the same goes for your face

The best marvy attorney against a Chowder disgrace? I’ll take the case!

Trying to be a Bad Seed, but you're just a little Steam-punk

You can't stand the burns from my rap when I'm powered by the sun!

I’m a superhero lawyer, saving the characters you love

You’re a child who can’t fight me when getting hurt’s what you’re afraid of

Debbie, cancel my appointment with BoJack; I’ve got a new foe to diss

‘Cause I’m cracking an even bigger egghead than Beaks’ baby sis!

Harvey Beaks:

Alright, Phoenix Wrong! You’ll need your solar shield when I beat you

I’ll be launching you out of this battle, have you going “Pe-Choo!”

I may not like getting hurt, but it’s not like you could even hurt me

Scurry back to your coworkers like Captain Falcon and the Murray

Instead of dancing around your cases’ issues, why don't you actually solve them?

Turned into a parody of your own show, call it The Space Ghost Problem!

Stuck in a boring office job, while I'm still going on adventures

You’re just a Justice League reject who only hangs with one Avenger

Harvey Birdman:

This itty-bitty Bugaboo should go back to playing with his toy chicken

You’re voiced by a lion, but you roar more like a kitten!

A neurotic neat-freak that's way worse than Reducto, so back off!

There was less emotion in your raps than what you’d see from your grandpa

You favor the index finger, but I’ll give you the middle one

For wanting to be a Rebel, you try too hard to have civil fun

A real dodo bird; you can’t fly AND you’re afraid of heights!

I’m shooting energy beams from my fists. You can’t put up a fight

You’re dissing dishes so bad, a Recipe for Disaster

So emotionally fragile. Like your plate, I’ll leave you shattered

Beat you to a pulp, then be the attorney to represent ya

And in case you didn't- Hey, did you get that diss I sent ya?

Harvey Beaks:

What did you say about me?! Now you've unleashed my stern rage!

With flow like a mermaid, I’ll lock this third-rate in his birdcage!

I’m killin’ it with imps, spitting from the highest of trees

Even Technobear would be impressed by how I’m rocking this beat

This sleazebag will be splat real fast by this Greenblatt

Steal the crest of your rap like I was wearing a red ski mask

A bigger fail than Kratz, this is another case you’ve lost

You’re unloved by your wife and ignored by your boss

Fly back to Boo Boo, or I’ll leave you with boo boos, too

Wash out that potty mouth. Looks like your fans all flew the coop!

Calling me emotional? Hah! You’re one to talk, man!

You’re a flash in the pan, a sham, and a rip-off of Hawkman!

Harvey Birdman:

I’m a rip-off? Like when you ripped-off Batman as the Night Maid?

Such a shame. Your raps were even a disappointment to Dade

You can suck deez Peanuts and run back to Peabody, Sherman

Your Honor, you'll find that he's guilty. You’ve lost to BIIIIRDMAN!

Harvey Beaks:

Well, you can witness this quick diss I’m spitting at this pest

Had a volcano base, but your rhymes are lukewarm at best

I’d rid myself of my moisturizer and you still couldn’t scar me

Ending you like your superhero career, it’s the Death of Harvey

Who Won? Harvey Beaks Harvey Birdman