User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Rap Battles of Fiction Season 4 Episode 9 - Hal Jordan vs Frodo Baggins

ATTENTION WIKIANS! My hair has a message for you! Welcome to yet another edition of the rap battle series featuring denizens of fiction worlds. Today's matchup is a popular one and is one of my personal favourites. It is, of course, a battle of the ringbearers. Frodo Baggins, key character from the Lord of the Rings trilogy and bearer of the One Ring, goes up against Hal Jordan, arguably the most iconic version of the DC hero Green Lantern, who bears a power ring of his own. This battle features one cameo, which comes in the second verse. It is Samwise Gamgee, who cameos as a homage to Mr TKandMit, who I guested for as Frodo and Sam. Shoutout to him and his series. Also giving shout outs to Jella and Grav, who have agreed to help me with a project, and to Mendes , Bantha and Loyg for their help on the H/H. I would also like to advise checking out Wonder's most recent battle. It is truly excellent.



Green Lantern:
I’m here to save the Earth from this Middling halfman with force

Swarm your party fraught with tension like I was a horde of orcs!

You’re naught but a taut little man messing with ‘taters and elves

So take a Sting to the heart and do it! End it all! End yourself!

Adventures with your fellows but you abandoned them out of choice!

Corrupted Boromir with your weakness and ended Gondor’s voice!

Wandered near and far; a mere ring the title of your silly story!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">DC dwarves your whole franchise, how about that for an allegory!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Getting awkward with orcs, whilst I’m in my own League for Justice!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Your story is older, more boring, and more repetitive than that pun is!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">And I will punish you for your corruption and failure to do your job!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Had it not been for the Goonie, you’d have been eaten up by Shelob!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

Frodo Baggins
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">I will do what I know has to be done to protect the people I left behind,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">I have faced Nazgul and Uruk Hai and now discount Supes in rhymes?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">Back in the Shire we have weed hackers, not rappers, and I’m unsure,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">If my training with Aragorn prepares me for what horrors you have in store!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);white-space:pre-wrap;">You can do it, Master Frodo! <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;"> You reminded me of for what I have to win

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">Sting’s blue, whilst whatever mood he is in changes the colour of his ring!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">So you should be perpetually yellow, and take that weakness on the chin!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">It will you be going west when I cut the leash that I am about to put you in!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">Hide behind your flicks! No Justice when you are to be cut for a metal man!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">You could be defeated by a tweenage preeschooler with a crayon in hand!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m an on point rhyme ranger, releasing flows like Elrond as an archer!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">Whilst your lines drop from the sky as they are about as fly as your father!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

Green Lantern
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Kings at war, oncoming darknesses and enemies chewing out your bones!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">It seems your just a simple side-plot in the larger world of Game of Thrones!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">When the beat drops like Gandalf, or falls like friends on your gore tour,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">You will be Mount Doomed when there is yet another murder in Mordor!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

Frodo Baggins
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">If you can manufacture cities out of light, why couldn’t you make yourself a mate!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">Your grief got the better of you and now the Corps have given Kyle the Rayns!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">But harken, I am hardened from my quest in the darkness of reaches farthest!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">But you were busy playing at being the villain, when night was at it’s darkest!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

Green Lantern
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">My ring can conjure up structures, yours prevents you from being spied on,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Unless its from all of the people that you would actually want to hide from!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">The Shire is corrupted! You and your bumbling sidekick couldn’t save it!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Saruman split hobbits into four parts, like he was Jackson and a racist!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Your plot holes are unbelievable! Why not just take the eagles to stop evil?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Then my Unexpected Journey wouldn’t have included two bone-dry sequels!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">What do I care whether it is Gollum or Smeagol or Deagol? You’re feeble!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,255,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">When that whole theory can be explored further in your glorified prequel!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

Frodo Baggins
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">If you try to get tricky, I will drop Agent Orange on the city you so protected!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">It was destroyed when you left for seconds; without you it was defenceless!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m sharper than the rocks of Muil, you’re crashing the test lyrics you spout!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">So Hole yourself up like other Hobbits, and switch your ringbearers out!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">You adopted your villain as yourself, but you couldn’t cause such a disaster,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">As when the studio messed up and went and cast Van Wilder as your actor!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(106,168,79);white-space:pre-wrap;">I can paralyze Parallax, you’re more sinister than Sinestro was at the start!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(106,168,79);font-family:Arial;font-size:11pt;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’ve seen Pratts be better Guardians of intergalactic planets and all the stars!

Who won? Green Lantern Frodo Baggins