User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS Season 2: Gilgamesh vs Beowulf

Hello my fairies! Grav's here dropping the third installment of Season 2, the Sumerian King Gilgamesh facing off against the Geat King Beowulf! This was originally gonna be in Season 1 but Cave dropped out of playing so poo on him. Thanks goes to Alan and Brandon for reading, and Legion for chiseling! Special thanks goes out to my dear friend Leandro for making the cover.... I miss you buddy <3. Let's get this started.

Beat
Celtic Power

Starts at 0:10

I fucking love this beat so much

Rapper Colors
 Beowulf is purple

 Gilgamesh is bronze

 Enkidu is green

 Enkidu’s ghost is green-yellow

Lyrics
==='''Beowulf: '''===  I asked God before this battle to bless this Ancient Alien,

 Because I might make a mess taming this Mesopotamian!

 For when an overgrown ape tries takes a step in my hunting lands,

 He’ll find himself flogged by the beefed Geat with Hrunting in hand,

 I will split apart your tribes viciously, like my ship did to the Baltic!

 Then ram your body into the dirt so it’ll forever be salted!

 When I knock down your Gates, you’ll get fucked harder than Ishtar!

 I will Shamash your shrines and scatter your whore maidens afar!

 But I’ll let you keep your tablets, I remain immortal in the Kindle!

 This may be a battle of the giants, but compared to me you’re Grendel! ==='''Gilgamesh: '''=== <span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Haha! One man tries to be the first demigod’s foe?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">I’ll burn through Beowulf like I’m reading Sparknotes!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">It took thousands of emcees spitting flows to bury me!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Your loss is more apparent than your movie’s CG!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Let me be brief, I’m a King! <span style="color:#C4BC96;mso-themecolor: background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight:black">And I gotta lot of shit to do!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">So lemme pass this to my dude Enkidu!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Yo I’m wild, I run with the beasts!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Poor wolf got bit better put him to sleep!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I got claws! <span style="color:#C4BC96;mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background: black;mso-highlight:black"> (Claus) Gonna deck your hall!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> That momma roasted more than your Swedish meatballs!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I got; god spit and I came to rock!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Bang bang for six days! <span style="color:#C4BC96;mso-themecolor:background2; mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight:black">You can talk to the- ==='''Beowulf: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> STOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Beowulf slices through Enkidu with his seax, sending Enkidu flying backwards into Gilgamesh's arms, dying <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I killed your fuck buddy because he was killing it!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> What’s the matter man? Ha! You know he stole your bitch!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I’m pissed! You’re a tyrant, a Sham who needs to put a Hat on it!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I spit nightmares worse than the one summoned in the Cedar Forest!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> God gave me the purpose to lead the bombing of these Iraqi!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Your country’s more fucked than the mother of Hrolfr Kraki!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Quit pitch-ing your tents and bitumen, don’t try to be a hero!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Chances you’ll receive a peaceful Fate facing Beowulf? ZERO

Gilgamesh:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:rgb(196,188,150);">YOU DARE KILL MY FRIEND??????????????????

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">This motherfucker spits Bull, you’re about to get gored,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Doesn’t Thor Junior remember the last time he got the horns?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Tell Wiglaf your raps, a child can’t do worse in your reign!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">You wanna talk about bitches, you’re pimped by Great Danes!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">I’m serving this saucy fucker like a Humababa-ghanoush!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Your God flooded your people, while I sail over with my crew!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">I’ll smash your Woodpecker when I break your golden cup!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">End you faster than you and your bastard had seax! What! ==='''Beowulf: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> By the way I’m spitting sick Enkidu would’ve still been dead

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> You broke his native spirit, how can he consider you a friend?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> You’d rather let half your people die than bed a whore!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Like your readers I’ll leave your thick skull bored!

Gilgamesh:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">You don’t mess with Gilgamesh, The Lion Slayer is the best!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">Ay wild man! Yeah? <span style="color:#C4BC96;mso-themecolor: background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight:black">Introduce him to death!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">You were killed by your pride, wanting to keep the glory to yourself!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"><span style="color:#C4BC96; mso-themecolor:background2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black;mso-highlight: black">I won’t give you your rites, you can light your pyre in Hell!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE

MYTHHHHHHHHHHICCALLLLLLLLLL

ground shakes

BATTLES OF HISTORICAL SHIT

Poll
Who Won? Gilgamesh Beowulf

Hint for Next Battle
Coming soon