User blog:Iamthelegion/Dorian Gray vs Count Dracula

Oh. Hi. I'm back for like, a few months, not quite on Skype yet tho D:. I'm guesting in Dragon's Rap Battles again soon! Also for the first time in Mythical Rap Battles of Historical Expletive (which I'm getting to work on RN). Today's battle had a cover and title cards made by my good friend Leo, but I kinda completely lost them and can't ask for them back cuz no Skype. Anyways, it features Dorian Gray, eponymous character of the amazing novel by Oscar Wilde, the Portrait of Dorian Gray, against monstertrucking Dracula (euphemisms :D), eponymous character of the great novel by Bram Stoker, along with five and a half tons of other things, to see who is the better villain with a corrupted soul, beautiful mind and unaging immortality. A few people guessed the characters but never the actual battle in the comments at least, Cave being first to get Dracula and Brandon being the first to get Dorian Gray.

Also this was originally planned to come out before Flats ever used Dracula but that didn't happen.

This battle could have been sooooo much better if I was a better writer.

Cast:
Iamthelegion as Dorian Gray in his mansion

Iamthelegion as Count Dracula in his castle

Iamthelazycaster as ???

The Battle:
Dorian Gray:

Your chances in this contest are incurably aflame, Fangzilla

You're up against an equally classic equally eternal killer

Each of my bars are sharpened into stakes, your daymare

Butchering 24/7 whilst your daylight goes NOWHERE

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Best looking man ever, make a gremlin out of Narcissus

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You but some Romanian who's outdated and hardly vicious

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The world is on fire, that will surely mar your looks

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Mail you in pieces - just like the text of your book!

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Sit down, Hasselhoff, it’s time to face nightmare incarnate

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Harker, Summers, Van Helsing and Blade shared your fate

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Death is in store but you don't grasp what is at stake

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Will you still be a masterpiece when every bone I break?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Stoker the fire under this somewhat Wilde mockery of horror

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You're so Sibyl Vane I'm surprised you didn't ignore her

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I assure you your time has come, you killed yourself in sheer disgust

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I may not have any but I sure as hell drew this battle's first blood

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Harry would find you amusing: as you surely know nothing

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Break your soul - why don't you ask my fiancee if I'm bluffing

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I may border on necrophilic, but no-one's into grey and sullen

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Spotted the Invisible Man and your ladies I was surely Cullen

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Your story and mine apply two entirely different styles of tragic

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Hold on to your corpse; I long for another monstrosity for the attic

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You call those burns? The moon at night much more threatening

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">A crappy Irish film, that all you've earned with your treachery

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Didn't you hear? I'm already the corpse, but I die no further

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Far from a Prince Charming, leave Basil screaming bloody murder

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Choose beauty or brains, either way I'll drain you in your whole

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Devil's in the details, beast's in the senses, both in your soul

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Do not mistake for a house what is merely a night's lodging

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">That extends to winning lines and that crap you're hocking

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I've read poets more vampiric than you, Bram's balderdash

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I'd see you at the Opera were you not so low on cash

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Life the greatest tragedy I know, but yours? Poor comedy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The work of God made this devil, a ponderable anomaly

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ponderable? All you do is contemplate and philosophise

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You found unalienable truths yet all you spit is lies

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">A true terror of the night to this day, I'm global

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">English yet Ireland's the only place you're knowable

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">From Transylvania to Wallachia I rule in but a snap

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You think to kill me, yet Dracula always comes back

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Is that all you can boast? Gautier left my point demisted

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You're scum, I am the reason why the material world existed

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Not frozen, but rather I'd drown you in any lack I spot

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I am a brilliant work of literature, and you? You're not.

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">My story lasted through the ages, spawning cult-like phases

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Trap you in classic verbal mazes as I condemn you to the blazes

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You can hack ladies but you can't hack it, best use some agate

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You need eloquence to go above maggot, already your death - I am it

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I'll see you looking pallid as I enter rooms since I can't finish you

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You'll be blackballed as I denounce you as a coward who knows not the issue

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">There can be no issue here, so I suggest you run back to your embroideries

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I import into all deep fear, if I spare you you best not be annoying me

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You think I'm annoying? Screech off, back to your decrepit castle

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I'll just super speed there, trust me, it's no real hassle

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Time for me to leave this markedly, I'm the Extraordinary Gentleman

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Like that could deal harm to me, you even teamed with my spawn then

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Get lost, you flying rat! I'm more affluent then a Tranny Vlad!

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I would rather give you the opportunity, next to me you a broke hack

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You have thrust me out of order, it is time you succumbed!

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Go back to England before I rend your flesh into mere crumbs!

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I shall slay you like any dunce who dares try to tempt me

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You'll tear apart like canvas, noble breeding doesn't exempt, see

<span style="color:rgb(56,118,29);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#38761d;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">If only this feud would end!

<span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I'll beat you so badly you'll cry

<span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Dorian Gray and Dracula:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">GIVE IT UP ALREADY, YOU LEECH! WON'T YOU DIE!?!?!

<span style="color:rgb(17,85,204);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">???:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Yes.

<span style="color:rgb(102,102,102);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">(A young man walks into the room. It zooms in and reveals that man to be...

<span style="color:rgb(102,102,102);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">JOE BLACK!)

<span style="color:rgb(17,85,204);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;">Joe Black: 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You've cheated death for long enough and rapped for near three hours

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Now I am become Death and beneath these delicious rhymes you cower

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I'll crush you with technology of which you have not seen the like

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">For I've persevered on to the New World, so get back onto your bike

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ask any businessman, this studly mover's more a staker than a shaker

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Each one of my lines brings two collisions, call them a double breaker

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You may maintain your pale mockery as being even near to human life

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You could spend centuries trying, Dorian, you still won't get a wife

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">With all your attempts to understand, infinites from even a glimpse

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You'll be black-balled, taken down like Bill by a slip from Quince

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">As to mister Emo king, I'll send you truly and finally on to Fangtasia

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Coming as unaviodably as taxes, it was obvious I could out-brave you

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You'll need more than a building full of doctors if I become bored

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Would you rather end in your Parish or on the sound room floored?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Goodbye, Dorian, and goodbye, shadowy demon all too fond of a slice...

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#1155cc;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">This encounter, like you, is over, for lightning never strikes twice.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:18.666666666666664px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">WHO WON?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:18.666666666666664px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">YOU DECIDE!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:18.666666666666664px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">WHO'S NEXT?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:18.666666666666664px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">WHO DECIDES!?!?!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:18.666666666666664px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">ALTERNATE RAP BATTLES OF HORR-ooorrr!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">See you... <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> (water slowly fills up the screen) <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">next ti- <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">glurp (water fills the screen and then a hand reaches out)

Outro:
Who won this shizzle? Dorian Gray Count Dracula Joe Black

Yes, Joe Black isn't horror, but I liked the film so I damn well used him. He fits the connection in eternal youth causing harm, and he's a twist as he brings death whilst they defy death, and mostly just I wanted to use Joe Black. Sue me.

Hints (each hint is to a different rapper in the royale :D):