User blog:ResonX/Panty and Stocking vs. The Powerpuff Girls

ORIGINAL LYRICS POSTING: []

VIDEO: COMING SOON



MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE POWERPUFF GIRLS…

…VS…

…PANTY AND STOCKING!!!!!

BEGIN!

Panty:

Let me try to make this Brief:

We've got artsy and sexy style; we're the Daughters of Anarchy.

We ain't gonna lose to you deformed, bug–eyed, motherless monstrosities!

I'm an angel; you were made by accident like Mr. Hyde.

You should find the nearest asteroid and catch a one–way ride.

Think we'll go easy on you three just because you're five years old?

FUCK THAT! I'm perfectly willing to put bullets in your skulls,

And I'm talking about bullets, not your mutated squirrel friend.

I'll shoot you dead, and you'll be done: no more specials, the end.

BOOM–HEADSHOT! I'll blow you up just like your retard sister, Bunny,

Then do the same thing to your fucking ghosts and make some cold, hard money.

What we've got going on makes even South Park seem tame,

And I'm proud to say that my sex life puts Glen Quagmire to shame.

In short, me and my sister here are serving up more pandemonium

Than I did in bed last night with Professor Utonium!

But wait, there's more! Right after I finished fucking your creator,

I spent this morning screwing with your old pal, the Narrator!

Blossom:

Shut your fatherfucking mouth before I'm forced to smack a bitch.

You're the biggest slut I've ever seen outside of Maury Povich!

I don't normally swear, but with you involved, it's a moot point,

So screw Chemical X! I'm spitting some pure Whoopass in this joint!

You don't scare me one bit with that undie–gun you're packing.

If you're a maneater shark, then I guess I'm the Craig McKraken!

You clearly think you're a sex goddess, but let me ask you this:

Have you ever literally killed a boy with a single kiss?

You'll impale yourself on anything remotely resembling a wang;

You'd have no qualms about a gang–bang with the Gangreen Gang!

Compared to you, even Sedusa looks like a freaking nun.

I wouldn't be shocked to learn you even ate a piece of poop once!

Go to Hell, you whore, and suck Dick Hardly's hard dick.

I'm a commander and leader, while you're dumb as a brick!

Yo, you call, Blossom?

(The Rowdyruff Boys appear!)

Panty: What the fuck?! You can't fucking do that… unless…

Step aside and let the real warriors handle this, skank!

(Scanty and Kneesocks appear!)

Brick:

Well, I–

'''ANNOUNCER: NOPE! NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! THIS IS NOT IN OUR BUDGET! GET OUT OF HERE, ALL FIVE OF YOU!'''

(Scanty and Kneesocks and the Rowdyruff Boys are banished back to pop–cultural limbo)

'''ANNOUNCER: UM… JUST… UM… FORGET THAT EVEN HAPPENED. CONTINUE, GIRLS.'''

Stocking:

Um… okay… as I was about to say:

I Want You fingerless freaks to Fly Away Now.

You may have brute strength, but word–wise, you fight like a cow!

Slut–shame Panty all you want; she gives less of a fuck

Than either of us do whenever we kill our pet Chuck!

Unlike her, though, I don't fool around… well, at least not as much;

I'll be on my A–game just as long as I can keep this sugar rush.

I'm a credibly–badass, sword–toting lolita.

You're hopelessly outmatched; go back to fighting amoebas!

This bitch is the fiercest goth there's been since the sacking of Rome,

And she's screwing you more severely than that Communist gnome!

There's nothing you can do about it, girls: I'm GOING to beat you,

And, given what you're made of, I might very well also eat you!

Only a suicidal person comes between me and my sweets,

And I don't even care whether I "should" be obese,

Because I'm not! So don't you dare tell me to go on a diet!

See, I knew what you'd say against me; that's why I just called it!

Buttercup:

I'm starting to seriously question this battle's validity;

It seems to me like you're a parody of us, essentially.

I mean, you're just like us, only perverted and twisted.

I'd call you our Japanese doubles… but those already existed!

Are you even Japanese? It's hard to tell with all that Engrish,

Though if you want to be REAL confusing, you should use some Mo' Linguish.

They made you with way too much sugar, and your sister too much spice,

While forgetting to add anything even remotely nice!

Moreover, when they made you, I'm pretty sure they were on crack!

And by the way: Invader Zim called. He wants his sidekick back!

You fight demons, yes, but you're morally indistinguishable from them,

And besides, those incestuous bitches ain't got nothing on HIM.

Against ridiculous odds, we've kept Townsville nice and clean,

While your Daten City, just like you yourselves, is obscene!

It's literally a Hellhole; you've somehow even got a mayor

That makes ours look like Mike Haggar; you haven't a prayer!

I'm taking it on myself to put you down where you belong.

Your mother should have long since stomped you out like Monty Python!

Garterbelt:

The name's Garterbelt, better known as the Master G,

And I will personally smite the Announcer if he attempts to dismiss me!

I mean, you shouldn't even be surprised that I'm joining this battle;

Those two bitches and I are a trio; I'm in the goddamn title!

While it is indeed commendable, the years you've spent fighting crime,

Your experience is nothing, hear it: nothing next to mine!

I've been here, observing history, since the beginning of time,

And that kind of worldliness makes for some killer skill with rhymes!

All the shit you've said about those hoes I mentor, it's true!

But I'm basically Tony Montana as the Wandering Jew!

I can think of only a handful of things more badass than that,

And I've seen it ALL! Even my hair is ready for combat!

Bubbles:

Go home and bind and gag yourself, you hypocritical pedo.

You're barely – just barely – a better priest than Judge Claude Frollo!

This is between the three of us and the two of them, so go away

And let me spit my mad tongue–twisters. As I was going to say:

How can anyone call you angels? That's an insult to the Bible!

You make Bartleby and Loki look like Gabriel and Michael.

Even your fans would have to agree that, just like a certain "Princess",

As well as the Grinch before her, you had the balls to ruin Christmas!

In fact, you're even less worthy to be wearing those halos

Than the "angels" in a certain other program by your studio,

Which, by the way, both of you procrastinating heathens

Really ought to go back to to make that second season!

My sisters and I have saved the day literally hundreds of times.

We are the most enduring symbols of a network in its prime!

Our series is a modern classic amongst all demographics.

Yours is psychopathic, not to mention damn–near pornographic!

You two aren't merely "naughty" – you're out–and–outright depraved,

While we three manage to be both badass and well–behaved.

See, unlike you, we don't need an X–rating to be cool.

Say it with me now, sisters:

All PPGs:

POWERPUFF GIRLS RRRRRRUUURRULE!!!

Stocking:

Oh, by the way, I'm a demon.

(Kills Panty, screen explodes)

………WHAT THE FU–

("Technical Difficulties" for a good five seconds)

…Um…Who Won, Who's Next, I Decide, yada yada yada… I'm sorry, but WHAT THE FU–

(Cut to static)

Which side won? Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt The Powerpuff Girls

Which individual rapper was best? Panty Blossom Stocking Buttercup Garterbelt Bubbles