User blog:WonderPikachu12/Carmen Sandiego vs Waldo. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Season 3



You steal from me, Dragon, and I steal from you. >:(

Bet you weren't expecting this to be on-season, huh? Yup, we've got this notable rivalry on-season rather than off, as would probably be expected seeing as this is a sillier match-up than most.

Anyone who asks, yes, Carmen Sandiego is a villain. Her whole thing is that she's on the run from the law, and she leads a group called "V.I.L.E." (Villain's International League of Evil). So ye, this fits quite easily for the villain season.

'Titular antagonist of the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? series, Carmen Sandiego, and titular protagonist of the Where's Waldo/Wally? series, Waldo/Wally/Whatever, face off to see who is the superior hider of modern media.'

PROLOGUE:

Carmen Sandiego walked into the carnival fair. The portal had taken her, by mistake, to an airport instead, but with some guided instructions and managing to board a plane without notice, she arrived at her correct destination. Hands tucked into her coat pockets, she made her way into the crowd, keeping her hat tilted over her face to keep herself unnoticed.

-

"You'll be facing off against some geek, Ms. Sandiego. Matching wool hat and striped shirt, both of which are red and white, and walks around with a cane. Wears glasses, too, like an absolute dork. He shouldn't be too hard to miss."

"So, why exactly am I facing off against him, Lord Bowser?"

"Because he's hard to miss."

"...I...I don't follow."

"He somehow is incredibly skilled at hiding and blending into crowds. Something you're familiar with, I'm sure. You're not going to let him 1-up you, are you?"

"I don't see why I should care, really."

"Look, you're assigned to battle him, alright? Beat him and you'll prove your worthiness."

"Can't I fight someone who's, I don't know, actually more on my level? A criminal mastermind or someone? Fighting against someone who just hides a lot seems...beneath me."

"Just do it, alright? This should be an easy win for you, anyways."

"Fine, whatever. This is ridiculous, but so long as it'll guarantee me a spot, I'm in."

-

The hot summer sun beamed down, but Carmen's coat and hat shielded her fair skin from the rays. She was definitely a sore thumb sticking out, yet she easily managed to disappear into the crowd. She'd seem to randomly appear in spots throughout the fair, stepping into a circus tent before stepping out from behind a ferris wheel. Her search would continue until someone ended up crashing right into her, knocking her onto the dirt ground. Both her and the figure beside her groaned as they got up to their feet. "Watch where you're going," she snapped at him.

"My apologies, hermosa chica, I was..." The figure stood up, and the two exchanged glances. "...hey! I recognize you. I remember seeing you at Bowser's gathering."

Carmen raised an eyebrow as she looked the man up and down. She recognized him leaving with the clown prior. "Hmph... What is your name?"

"Vaas. Vaas Montenegro," he gave a charming smirk, lifting up Carmen's hand to give the back of it a kiss. "And to whom do I owe the pleasure of bumping into this fine day?"

Carmen pulled her hand away, scoffing as she stepped back. "Carmen Sandiego."

"Say, you wouldn't have happened to have seen that Joker fellow around here, would you?" Vaas asked, glancing around the area with a frustrated look. "I've been chasing him and this other dude for a while now."

Carmen shook her head. "I have not. I came here in search of my opponent. Red and white striped shirt and beanie hat. Has a cane. Seen him anywhere?"

Vaas pondered for a moment, looking around. "I think I might have, chica, but thinking about it again, it might have been a candy cane prop."

Carmen groaned and pinched her forehead. "This is ridiculous. I've searched all over this place and haven't found any sign of him."

"Perhaps you just aren't looking in the right places."

Carmen and Vaas both stop, turning to see none other than the very many Carmen had been searching for standing right beside them. "Finally. That took way longer than it should have."

"Oh, quite! And, I must say, you look even better than the picture I was shown of you," the man chuckled. "You're in a lot of trouble, you know that?"

She paused for a moment, confused about what he meant. "And what exactly do you mean?"

The man smirked. "It's simple, really. You're Carmen Sandiego, wanted through countless countries throughout the world. I was hired by the ACME Detective Agency to hunt you down. Typically, they don't work outside of their jurisdiction, but I happen to be an expert when it comes to blending in with crowds. And what better place to search than a fair? And here you are, apparently having been searching for me, too! It's amazing how these things work. The police are already on their way, so don't try to escape."

Carmen was at a loss for words, not having expected the tables to have been turned so suddenly. "Well, now, that was mucho unexpected," remarked Vaas, scratching at his head. "I'll just be off. Hopefully, I'll be seeing you later, chica, if you haven't ended up behind bars!" With that, Vaas took off, disappearing into the crowd. Carmen turned her attention back on the man before her.

"And just who do you think you are?" Carmen snarled.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" The man chuckled, his smile never fading from his face. Carmen then immediately turned and took off, vanishing into the crowd. The man simply shook his head. "Oh, this is going to be fun, I can tell."

(Starts at 0:00)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY



VS



UHHH....

BEGIN!

Waldo/Wally:

(0:16)

It's my Fantastic Journey as I search for this disgrace!

With your flat personality, it's the Incredible Paper Chase!

I'm in Hollywood and Holywood! You're hiding in Bollywood!

Steal artifacts to teach kids math? Carmen would!

People make a big deal about how well you can hide,

But anyone can find you Monday through Friday at five!

While I'm world renowned, I can blend in with any crowd!

And in this rap throwdown,  I'm the one taking this crown!

Touring all over the world, yet still your games are bland and boring.

Your chances of winning are lower than you having a consistent backstory!

You couldn't've been from ACME! This roadrunner isn't so wily!

This limey doesn't take kindly to the slimy stymie from the nineties!

Carmen Sandiego:

(0:41)

Listening to your rapping was even worse than looking at those clothes.

So painfully droll, while I'm iconic with just a trenchcoat.

We're not in the same boat. You're just a joke of a bloke.

I rock a fella on the mic! I'll eat you up like tacos!

You're worse than Odlaw, while I'm at odds with all laws.

You should get Wenda to take a picture of your loss.

I'm the baddest crime boss that you don't want to cross.

Keep running circles after me; I'm sure you're bound to get lost.

Your books are just a human I Spy; they're all the same!

I'll leave you more confused than readers are about your name,

Then I'll break your cane and leave you truly lame.

You better ask, "Where In The World could I up my rap game?"

Waldo/Wally:

(1:05)

By Whitebeard's white beard! That verse was quite weird!

It was even more disturbing than how you originally appeared!

The Miss of Misdemeanor better hope that she comes clean,

Or I'll swiftly terminate the Truly Terrible V.I.L.E queen!

Titled "Where on Earth", yet you're so focused in America?

The only reason you're in hiding is that you're upset 'cause I embarrased ya!

You've been caught, Carmen, so now there's no where to run!

Stick you behind bars, you're done! Now I'll return to my devoted fan-club.



Carmen Sandiego:

(1:21)

You can't keep me locked up. I baulk. Go back to getting stalked.

Best not gawk. I've traveled through time; I can clean your clock.

You thought have fooled us, but your raps were a red-and-white herring!

I've got millions of kids learning from my feats so ever-daring.

I've stolen the flow from rivers, torched the Statue of Liberty,

Tore off the Cape of Good Hope, catnapped the King's kitty,

Erased Hans Christian Anderson's desk, raised the roof at the Sistine,

Stole the show at the Drottingholm Palace, and now you're the next to go missing!



WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES-

(Dozens of different logos crowd in around and all begin rambling noisily, before the main logo crashes through and knocks the rest away)

VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORYYYYYYY!!

EPILOGUE:

Carmen Sandiego found herself soon trapped back against the ferris wheel. Police officers surrounded her, Waldo amongst them. "Come on, Carmen. Give up. You can't run anymore."

Carmen smirked, looking amongst the cops around her. "You really think you guys can handle me? I've faced so much worse than this pathetic crowd."

Wally raised an eyebrow. "You really wanna try that?"

"AAAAHHH!!!!"

A cry rang out, and suddenly Vaas Montenegro came running in, tackling Waldo to the ground. The cops then immediately turned and pounced, attempting to drag Vaas off of him. Vaas managed to struggle away, freeing himself from their grip. He quickly hurried off into the crowd, shoving aside fair-goers as the police began to chace him down.

Wally blinked, watching the police all disappear into the crowd, before turning back. Carmen Sandiego had, of course, vanished, but not only that...the entire wheel of the ferris wheel was gone, too! "Bloody hell..." his eyes widened at the complete disappearance of the wheel.

Who won? Carmen Sandiego Waldo/Wally

Here's a hint for the next battle:

-

Hints for this battle explained:

Bigfoot - Bigfoot is famous for always being searched after, a cryptid no one is ever able to find hide nor tail of. This is similar to Carmen Sandiego and Wally/Waldo, as both of their franchises revolve around searching for them. As well, it's a subtle nod to Dragon, who had used Bigfoot as a third party in his own Waldo vs Carmen Sandiego battle.

Earth - Both Carmen Sandiego and Wally/Waldo are known for hiding all over the world. As well, Carmen Sandiego's series has two major known titles, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? and Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?, both applying to the Earth.