User blog:Alanomaly/Alanomaly Rap Battles Season 2 - Historical Assassins vs Assassin's Creed

How many fools can I kill today?

Too many to count, don't get in my way.

Shoot a mofo in the throat with my bow,

Tomahawk chop is my death blow.

Ohaider cykas.

Season 2 of Alanomaly Rap Battles has officially started, here, with Historical Assassins battling the Assassin's Creed assassins.

I sorta pulled an East vs West with this one.

I did Connor vs John Wilkes Booth a while back a bit after Rasputin vs Stalin, the first battle I ever did. I then wanted to redo it, but never got around to it. Then, over a year later, I was inspired by Artists vs TMNT to do the battle like this.

So ye.

Special thanks to Cyan for overlooking the first two verses. Unfortunately one line he questioned, that I also questioned, I couldn't think of a good way to redo it ;-; crai. And special thanks to Leandro for creating the cover a while back.

Pay no attention to the Ezio in Altaïr's title card (bpf)

Lyrics
(Beat)

ALANOMALY RAP BATTLES



VS



BEGIN!

Historical Assassins
 Drive up in my Ford, leave a bullet in your head!

 I don't play games but I can still leave you dead.

 I'm a professional actor, I put emotion in my words,

 Drop you with headshots,   point blank,   and stab wounds

We're killing it on the mic, like we did to all our leaders,

From  Lincoln  to  Kennedy  to  Gandhi  to  Caesar,

 And we're burning all your villages

With rhymes that are Limited Edition!

Assassin's Creed
 I've lived my life as possibly best, no clue of the purpose,

 But now I realize we must crush these germs that have surfaced.

 You're pitiful killers, only the novice of assassins.

 You need to step off and have a quest for redemption.

 Leave you in a worse condition than my internal struggle,

 We're masters of the mic and parkour, all you four do is stumble.

 You've had real kills   but we've created a larger impact,

 If you think this war's over,  you better rethink the facts!

Historical Assassins
<p style="text-align:start;"> Travel down a road with me, you'll be shrouded in darkness,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I leave blood splattered on the walls like an assassin artist!

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'm all for slaves, so I oppose your ability to succeed,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Throw you back into that world with the Washington King!

<p style="text-align:start;"> Patience, brothers, while I update Edward's wiki page,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Is Haythem truly your son, or was there a mix-up in the names?

<p style="text-align:start;"> I took part in an assassination set up by the government,

<p style="text-align:start;"> While you didn't mean to be an assassin, your success was an accident!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You halted Genghis Khan, but you'll never stop me,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll march into Syria and shoot up the Assassin Territory!

<p style="text-align:start;"> If you're a true Master, why don't you have killer lines?

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll shoot Desmond dead and disrupt your bloodline!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You've got the most impact now but I'll leave a Marcus on you,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're in the real world now, this ain't Assassin's Creed II!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're written off as too modern, like an Italian Clay,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Alla fine ti verrà chiedendo "E tu, Brute?"

Assassin's Creed
<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll marble bust up your lip and give you my scar,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Lead you to a death like you were Julius C-zar!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You'll fail more than your marriage according to Cicero,

<p style="text-align:start;"> And leave you pursuiting me like my name was Scipio!

<p style="text-align:start;"> And you killed a man who was highly respected,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Brought freedom to your country, but you still resented

<p style="text-align:start;"> His attitude in life, as if he was a Templar,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll lock you in a cell as if your name was Shankar

<p style="text-align:start;"> My rhymes shoot sharp like a bullet in your head,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll drop you from a Booth with no hay to ensure that you're dead!

<p style="text-align:start;"> I got a hatchet in one hand, with some sharp tricks up my sleeves,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I throw you off a boat like you were Boston Tea!

<p style="text-align:start;"> I died after years of my several kills

<p style="text-align:start;"> You died in the next two days, buried on Rose Hill

<p style="text-align:start;"> You call yourself a killer? All I see is a patsy

<p style="text-align:start;"> With a mugshot horrible to make Lohan look less trashy.

Brutus
<p style="text-align:start;"> The death of Ezio shall be painted in blood by Camuccini,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You can't even try to hide in the croud like you were Houdini,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Or maybe I should have it be painted by your friend, Leonardo,

<p style="text-align:start;"> And I'll stab you twenty-three times, hand, leg, and heart! (Oh!)

Ezio
<p style="text-align:start;"> You cannot possibly be honorable, you didn't let Julius' last words be known,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll rule over you like you were Monteriggioni, you're being Mari-owned.

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're not a honorable Roman man, you're a peasant who gave up,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You should make like Giovanni's hidden blade, and shape up!

<p style="text-align:start;">''[Brutus runs over to Ezio, and stabs him repeatedly. Brutus steps back, then runs at him again, only to run into Ezio's hidden blade. Brutus falls over dead. Ezio is mortally wounded, a stab wound being in a chamber of his heart, causing him to have a heart attack and fall over dead, desynchronized.]''

Nathuram Godse
<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll leave you with bullet holes like the dots above your "i,"

<p style="text-align:start;"> Leave you searching a year for me, a redo of the Hunt in Tyre,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll plot your assassination with Narayan Apte of Eden,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You should be running out of Faith, so I suggest you start Leapin!

Altaïr
<p style="text-align:start;"> Nathuram, this battle is our first but shall also be our last!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You could be transferred and I'd still kick your Mahar-ass!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're a traitor, I'll hunt you down by Masya-elf,

<p style="text-align:start;"> And kill you in front of me, in the city of New Dehl!

<p style="text-align:start;">''[Altaïr runs up a wall, drops down a rope, and throws it around the neck of Godse, and pulls up. As he is choking, Godse pulls out a gun, and shoots Altaïr down, shooting three times. Altaïr staggers back, falling backwards into a chair surrounded by books. The both of them slowly die.]''

Lee Harvey Oswald
<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll court to your wife and bring her back to my Plaza,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're facing a sharpshooter by the name of Oswaldskovicha!

<p style="text-align:start;"> I've made up my mind, you'll be shot dead if you step into Misk,

<p style="text-align:start;"> A pirate or a rebel? I went against my country for the Communists!

Edward
<p style="text-align:start;"> Shut up while you can, I'm a pirate killer with a legacy,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're a traitor like your Brute friend, fly back to Helsinki,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Or I'll shoot my cannons at you, your boat has started sinking,

<p style="text-align:start;"> But now you'll die like the rest, your soul will now be Lee-ving!

<p style="text-align:start;">''[Edward walks towards Oswald, pulling out a gun. While doing this, Oswald punches Edward's face, then rips a sword from him, and impales him. While being killed, Edward shoots Oswald several times over while impaled, and both fall to the ground dead.]''

John Wilkes Booth
<p style="text-align:start;"> I'll denunciate you like I did to our president,

<p style="text-align:start;"> I do what I set out to do, just like a true Confederate,

<p style="text-align:start;"> You're a creation unwanted, I'm Port Royal like Will Smith,

<p style="text-align:start;"> And you'll never stand a chance when you step to John Wilkes!

Connor
<p style="text-align:start;"> Call me Rock-onhnhaké:ton, cause I rock this mic!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You need some Tutoring Hall so you can learn how to live a better life!

<p style="text-align:start;"> You choose to still fight me, you got no help from your Academy,

<p style="text-align:start;"> Bitch, I'm from the colonies, you can't tame me!

<p style="text-align:start;">''[Connor slices Haytham's throat to his right, axes Charles to the left, and then points the gun at Booth, who is pointing a gun at him as well. A gunshot is heard and the screen is covered in smoke.]'' WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

ALANOMA- [logo is sliced]

'Ly... Rap... Battles.....'

Poll
Who Won? Historical Assassins Assassin's Creed

ZONE-Tan's Hint Explained
"<span style="color:rgb(138,43,226);text-align:start;">Dear ZONE-Tan, the first battle of Season 2 is killer. It features all sorts of people from different points in history, one side is not related at all while the other side are completely related, which is how they exist in the first place. "

"Killer" relates to how everyone here killed people. "Different points in history" relates to how everyone in this battle is actually from history. While Brutus did inspire John Wilkes Booth and also is who a relative of his was named after, the Historical Assassins are not family-related at all, whereas the Asssassin's Creed assassins all come from the same bloodline.