User blog:Tkid115/First Avengers vs World's Finest. Epic Rap Battles of Comics Volume 1

Helloooo meatbags!

That's right, a new issue was just released! No, it does not feature Black Panther Knight vs Iron Amazing Spectacular Superior Spider-Man. No, it does not feature a certain Asian's head bashed in with a bat. No, it is not a hentai.

Instead, you are getting the patriots and the billionares. The finest heroes of their worlds. The leaders of the teams. DC vs Marvel.....fucking AGAIN! It's the World's Finest: Batman and Superman versus the best and first Avengers: Iron Man and Captain America!

(Although Cap was never an original member but he's the oldest member blah blah blah)

This battle was suggested by MSV before his block and is inspired by Captain America: Civil War and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Cast:
EpicLLOYD as Superman

Nice Peter as Batman

Alex Farnham as Iron Man /voice of Jarvis

Bart Baker as Captain America

Angela Trimbur as ???

DeStorm Power as ???

Beat - Beast Mode (Produced by Shintek)

Batman/Superman (0:11):
Unlike the real  Civil War, these Marvel chumps won't be freed

from the ass-beating that will surely make us see if they bleed.

I'm sure they will, Batman, so let's make them now feel

what it's like when an flimsy iron suit meets a Man of Steel!

Now the Batman's back, man! So is THE Kal-El!

Here to put G.I.Joe and Tin Man straight through living hell.

And I may only have one rule when I fight

but I'll break it right here and I will kill it on the mic!

I harness solar power so when I spit, I leave you scortched!

While Uncle Sam here thinks that he's still the Human Torch

because he thinks he's all hot when in truth, he's even colder

than the ice he froze in - call him a "winter soldier".

Mr. Stark, just go back to tinkering and heavy drinking.

More of a mistake than Trevor Slattery! What on Earth-2 they thinking?!

Dealt with you once before. How was that? Not bad.

This Extremis extremist could never ever break the bat.

Capt. America/Iron Man (0:59):
Captain.... Mr. Stark.... Shall we? Let's do it.

Hate to beat a fellow patriot down here. Eh, screw it.

Jarvis? ''Yes sir? '' Tell me what our odds of winning are.

100% sir. If they win, that'd be oh so Bizarre!

I'm the America dream! and I'm the leader of the team!

Way better than this pompous immigrant that's shooting laser beams!

Deflect em' with my shield! I never yield! "World's Finest" is inadequate.

The most boring of heroes to the skills AVENGERS battle with?!

Time to clip with the Bat-wings off this dead-beat again!

We're the protectors of this so called "sector"! You're just  "super friends"!

We got a god, ghost, witch, giant, spy, and an archer!

You've got a rediculous roster! Most more useless than Arthur!

It'll dawn on you soon that WE'RE the ones who serve up justice.

Your DC stories suck! Barely anything of substance!

Especially you, Supes, so overpowered and so dull.

Nobody loves a pretty boy goodie-two-shoes. Not even Skrulls.

Dynamic douchebags, let me say this to your faces. Us to you:

facing us is failing worse than your screwed New 52!

and you won't make us bleed. Instead, WE will make you kneel!

Because your first verse sucked harder than the first Man of Steel!

Batman/Superman (1:57):
Bruce, pick up the pace here! We gotta put them where they belong:

Tony in the trash compactor and have Steve sing his swan song!

Clark, hang on. We underestimated them. I need more time

to analyze their flow and rhymes. You should take heed sometime.

What is WITH YOU, always having to hold me back? Damn,

shouldn't we be winning by now? Aren't you the "big, bad, Batman"?

That's the problem with you, Clark. You don't take the time to think.

And are you mocking me? Please. You're the one here that's a freak.

(beat quiets down)

What did you just call me...? You heard me. Are you serious?!

Dissing your own teammate? You must be Joker level delirious!

I've realized something, Clark: you're way too uncontrollable.

Oh, yeah? Well, know what, orphan?! You are way. Too. Emotional!

Okay, THAT'S IT!

(The beat stops as Batman puts on a Kryptonite ring and tackles Superman off-screen. We hear the sounds of a struggle and structure being destroyed.)

(Beat continues)

 

Capt. America/Iron Man (2:32):
....holy shit. LANGUAGE! Oh jesus, that again?

Anyways...um...aren't they supposed to be friends?

Let's try to break the fight up. Nah, I wanna watch. (sigh) Figures.

Besides, if they beat the shit out of each other, wouldn't that make US the winners?

Tony, it's theright thing to do. I'm gonna go give them a hand.

(sighs) Dammit, Steve. This did NOT go according to the plan...

(Iron Man blasts Capt. America suddenly, who blocks it with his shield.)

Did you just try to shoot me?! You're not gonna jeopardize our victory!

I'll do what I want, Tony. This country stands for liberty.

Aaaand there you go again, on and on about FREEDOM,

when you're ignoring the easy and quick way to defeat THEM!

IT ISN'T RIGHT. IT'S EASY! You wanna go, tough guy? Fine!

I'm not gonna let them kill each other! They were good friends! SO WAS I.

(Capt. America and Iron Man charge at each other creating a flash of light as the battle ends.)

WHO'S NEXT?!!!!
====EPIC RAP BATTLE OF- (Superman smashes into the logo, with Batman stomping on his chest in his armored suit. He picks up Superman and flings him offscreen, jumping after him.) ....B-Battles....of Comics.....==== 

WHO WON?!!! World's Finest First Avengers

Who's better? Batman Superman

Who's better? Captain America Iron Man