User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Bill Cipher vs The Beast. Rap Battle

hi im flats and i still write battles sometimes

hi everyone welcome back to Epic Rap Battles of Holy Fuck This Series Still Doesn't Have a Title but it's Not Epic Rap Battles of Horror. this battle was entirely the product of stress-writing. which is a thing now, in case you were wondering. originally i was going to do wirt and greg vs coraline as my obligatory Over the Garden Wall battle but i dont know much about Coraline in general so i scrapped that one for this one, which is actually one of the first ideas i wanted to do for a misc series forever ago. this battle also went through a lot of idea shifts, originally it was gonna become Blind Eye Society vs Pottsfield People but neither of those groups have much material, plus Pottsfield people are not related to the Beast. then it was gonna become Bipper vs Beast Wirt, but Beast Wirt isnt actually canon and i just need to do 1v1s more often so idk man

in todays battle, the overlying puppeteer, snazzy dresser, monster liar Bill Cipher from the Disney cartoon Gravity Falls raps against the stalking shadow of the Unknown who scavenges for wayward souls, The Beast from Cartoon Network's Over the Garden Wall in a battle of always watching, deal-making monsters from alternate dimensions that stalk a duo with way too many parallels to one another that I won't bother going into it, plus Disney Channel vs Cartoon Network.

enjoy

this line is only here so i can get the border past the video

enjoy tho

Beat


Bill Cipher in this color

Bipper in this color

The Beast in this color

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF YEP THIS SERIES STILL DOESNT HAVE A TITLE!



VS!



BEGIN!

Bill Cipher:
Oh, it’s good to be back! Let’s fry some tiny minds!

Name’s Bill Cipher! And I take it you’re some kind of Hide-Behind?

I think I know a guy with glowy eyes who’s out singing opera themes,

And calls his lonely home “The Unknown” but I know LOTS of things,

I’m just kidding, I know who you are, Woodsman! So let’s get started,

What you call “true” is nothing compared to this approaching darkness!

And I’ve been waiting for this moment for a trillion years,

Secrets cleared! Ceaseless tears! Your deepest fears! It’s gonna get weird!

The Beast:
Somewhere in the woods, lies a place few have seen,

Ripe with long by-gone burdens, you’re a child’s bad dream

Mastered the Art of the Deal, trap a tourist in my gray forest

And erect a Garden Wall, this alien’s gonna pay for it

An isosceles monstrosity, annoying-voiced errant clod,

Wanting world domination, and it wasn't even Peridot

You’re one eye too short, but even the blind can wholly see

When dissing Disney’s displeased, there is no Beauty, only me.

Bill Cipher:
It’s funny how dumb you are! But quit ripping off my fables,

I’ve got three, so take a tip - You couldn’t even out rhyme Mabel!

Though, I bet you’d like me to take up a different form! Well, I’m able,

I understand you’ve got quite a trying track record against triangles!

The Beast:
You’re a light scare on Elm Street, I’m the monster whom the mist trails

And if you can’t handle the storm, then stay out of the McHale

Deja Vu to view you back on your knees and crying “save me!”

Blending Blander blabberers is like taking Candy from a Time Baby

Bill Cipher:
Cool your jets and take a rest before you see something you might regret,

Better get to making good on those threats, you’ve only got two episodes left!

You got pushed over and served by a nerd and his dirt-eating bird, word is

I’m turning this whole town topsy-turvy and absurd while you’re literally Wirtless!

I’m solid gold! You’re out digging hobbit holes in ungodly cold,

Dropped by a toddler and his froggy’s goal, I con kids of their costly souls!

The truth Hirsch! And this message one millennia in the making,

Says it’s lights out for you, but my wins confirmation is Illuminating!

The Beast:
Come with me, wayward soul, you think you’re a real wise guy,

But you made the fatal mistake of turning the twins a Blind Eye

Your hope’s the loveliest lie of all that I’ll let you at least savor,

Before you’re Adelaide to rest, because scissors beats paper

Submit to the soil of the earth! Ends meet with your dismemberment,

Feed the lantern through the likes of which you can’t get past the censorship

Give the Queen my regards once your ego hits the clouds,

But Gravity Falls: What goes up, must come down.

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Outro


Who won? Bill Cipher The Beast