James Bond vs Austin Powers



James Bond vs Austin Powers is the sixty-second installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the fourth episode of Season 5. It features British Secret Service agent, James Bond, rapping against International Man of Mystery, Austin Powers. It was released on June 13th, 2016.

Cast
Nice Peter as Austin Powers

Ben Atha as James Bond (Daniel Craig)

EpicLLOYD as James Bond (Sean Connery)

Sulai Lopez, Samantha Kellie, and Dante Cimadamore as Ming Tea (cameo)

James Bond:
I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar,

But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are!

I'll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot!

Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!

Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it!

I'm licensed to kill, you couldn’t get a learner's permit!

After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights!

Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice!

Spell my name, the ladies wanna B on D!

Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!

I’m bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done!

I only need one round: *gunshot* Golden gun!

Austin Powers:
You look a lot more blond in your movie, baby,

But that’s alright. Let's just keep it groovy, baby!

(Yeah!) Basil Exposition told me this would be boring,

But Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!

I've never seen such a miserable spy!

I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs!

I mean, you can't shag properly with that waxed tush!

Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!

(Yeah!) I'll hypnotize you with a little strip tease,

And then judo chop; I'm swinging on you like the sixties!

(Yeah!) You're defenseless; my rhymes can't be deflected!

You're like all the sex I've ever had, unprotected!

(Yeah!) People want a hero with a little personality!

No one wants to sit through your gritty reality!

Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines!

You’ve made Thunderball two bloody times!

I'm one of a kind; you're always getting remade!

You can't touch me; double oh, behave!

James Bond:
Ugh, I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!

I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!

Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis,

Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies!

Austin Powers:
Yeah, that's not mine…

James Bond:
I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks!

I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!

And I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic,

But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!

James Bond (Connery):
I wouldn't exactly call you original…

It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage!

Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage!

Your performance doesn’t stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken!

If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!

I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all!

I don’t need a Q to break your balls!

I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!

You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.

Austin Powers:
(Yeah, um…) Could I get back in my rap please?

James Bond (Connery):
Rap these, you velvety hack!

Austin Powers:
Jeez!

James Bond (Craig):
It's the movie business, and you've had your six!

The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists!

Austin Powers:
Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey.

I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby.

James Bond (Connery):
Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished!

If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!

James Bond (Craig):
Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English!

James Bond (Connery):

 * slap* Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?

James Bond (Craig):
As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts!

After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!

James Bond (Connery):
Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt!

I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!

General

 * This is the first battle to feature a third-party rapper whom both title rappers rap back against in retaliation.
 * This is the first battle to have a rapper battle against himself.
 * Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD had previously freestyled a James Bond vs Austin Powers battle during the ERB Tour 2015.
 * The roles were reversed in it, with Peter playing Sean Connery's James Bond and Lloyd playing Austin Powers.
 * Alexander the Great can be seen in the More Battles section at the end of the Behind the Scenes.
 * During the comments in the "You decide!" part there's a brief shout out to "Epic Rap Battle Parodies" with a comment saying "ERBP did it first". Since they did Bond vs Powers first.

Production

 * Stated by EpicLLOYD in the Behind the Scenes, this battle was shot at the same day as J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin.
 * This is the first battle since Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock to have the Epic Rap Battles of History logo overlapping both characters on the cover art.
 * However, if you count the cover art of the censored version for Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson, where both characters were behind the logo, this will be the second.

Errors

 * During the line, "Let's just keep it groovy, baby!", "groovy" is misspelled as "goovy".
 * During the line, "If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!" "shitty" is misspelled as "shitting".