User blog:TKandMit/Neo vs Luke Skywalker. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 3

So, I missed a week. My bad.

Ayy we're back with a brand new installment of the Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains, finally coming out with a battle that was suggested all the way back in Season One as well as the original main focus of this season's storyline (btw, the whole storyline thing to this series has been pretty much done away with, so don't bother worrying about that). Neo, "the One" that rises up to free humanity from The Matrix, goes off against the Jedi hero from Star Wars, Luke Skywalker.

This battle was amazingly fun to write, and enjoyable due to having an excuse to watch parts of the films again. I'm not like a super nerd that knows everything that there is to know about either of these characters nor their films, but watching them again was nice.

I should probably mention: this is my fourth battle featuring characters from Star Wars, and the second of this season. As of right now, I don't have any plans to make another so I doubt if there'll be any more for quite some time. However, that's not for certain and can be open to change.

We have finally reached the penultimate of this season, which took almost literally a year to do. The premiere of this season debuted on February 19, which is only about two weeks away from cycling back. Hopefully, I'll be able to get everything for this season done before then.

I'm gonna stop tooting my own horn and just get on with it.

Enjoy the battle, yo.

Cast
Zach Sherwin as Neo

Chali 2na as Morpheus

EpicLLOYD as Luke Skywalker

Introduction
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HEROES AND VILLAINS!



VERSUS!



BEGIN!

Neo: (0:11)
It’s time to stop reclining on your island, face the rhymes that I’m designing

Who needs lasers? A couple command prompts on the Death Star and I’m in,

Fixating on my target, let’s see, what’s happening on Tattooine?

I’ll blast your ass and light up your planet with a can of gasoline

Do you really need billions of dollars and films to tell such a simple story?

When you spent your entire OT like one long episode of Maury?

The “Chosen One” from your movies, but you’re missing in most of them,

Who’s stealing the Sky’s thunder? Leave you like your home; I’m roasting ‘em

The son became a farmer while the daughter became a princess?

Life screwed you over, buddy, and I’m not talking about the incest

There’s no Resistance; I’ll be thrashing you worse than your lightsaber can

Proceed with gunning down your Uncle Ben like the beginning of Spider-Man

A long time ago, this star started shit with his father’s cosmic apartheid

Look on the bright side, at least you never went to the dark side

Try to have a go at me and I’ll drop you in the pit below me

You got good bars? What do you say, Morpheus? Show me.

Luke Skywalker: (0:55)
Quit those lines you’re manufacturing, with that group of Lost Boys you’re gathering

I don’t have to answer to no one; I’m certainly not pandering to Mr. Anderson

Let me get this straight: you’re a hopped-up hacker turned hero?

Using computers to do your dirty work? What, you wanna go with ones and zeros?

Who you trying to mess with, dude? You couldn’t bend a spoon!

While I can use the force and send your trench coat ass directly to the moon!

Your arsenal’s full of artificial firearms and kung fu galore?

(Heh.) Trust me, man, this isn’t the fight you’re looking for

Your most memorable scene is playing limbo under bullets?

Your whole life was a lie, while I live mine to the fullest

Put you in the hot seat as I go kapow with the Wachowskis

Reborn in that goo with a shaved head, calling yourself Neo Nazi.

You take the red pill, the battle’s over; the blue pill, you get a hard dick.

Bust a move and I’ll light the fuse on this baby-faced John Wick

You should know that you’re not untraceable just by going incognito,

With moves like that, you think you have a chance? Wake up, Neo.

Neo: (1:40)
What if I told you: being overrated doesn’t make you unstoppable

You’ve already lost; stop whining like, “No, that’s impossible!”

You say my life was a lie, but you’re only known for learning the truth

You could never outlast Anakin; he was even better than you in his youth

So start snuggling up for warmth in the corpse of that Tauntaun

‘Cause your family’s evil and all of your friends are long gone

And take that midget on your back and make a break for an escape shuttle

Disappointing… my opponent and his sister make such a cute couple.

Luke Skywalker: (2:02)
And with this rebuttal, it’s the Return of the Jedi

Me? The Sky’s flying high with Sci-Fi. You’re more like Humans Need Not Apply.

A midget on my back? How about your Sam Jackson knock-off, Thomas?

My dad would’ve slashed his ass and send him back to the Apocalypse!

Religious symbolism? Are you really in that much need of a God?

I lost my arm for this war; you fight by sleeping on the job!

You got dropped when you couldn’t make anymore good movies

While I’m on the top, the only thing you inspire’s school shootings!

Neo: (2:24)
You see rows of code, but I see this ending bad for you

Though, I gotta Han it to you, it won’t be as bad as putting up with your nephew

Oh wait, you never did. You went missing and everything went to shit,

Now it’s up to The Last Jedi and I’m putting an end to this.

Luke Skywalker: (2:35)
Would you stop bugging out like that thing planted in your chest?

I’ll take a page from Vader; thwart my enemy and kill the rest.

I’m a Jedi Master; split the Sith and put an end to the radical

So take your ass kicking and dive back down that rabbit hole.

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HEROES AND VILLAINS!

Who won? Neo Luke Skywalker

Hints: Decoded
NeoBranwen711’s comment: Neo’s name is Neo.

Neopolitan from RWBY: Neo’s name is Neo.

Grand Canyon: The structure featured here in the Grand Canyon is called the “Skywalk”, which allows tourists to view the canyon through a glass floor. Skywalk refers to Luke Skywalker.

Crawl space: Kind of a sly hint. Star Wars takes place in space and is known for its opening crawl at the beginnings of the films.

Anderson Cooper: Anderson Cooper shares his name with Thomas Anderson, the actual identity of Neo. Neo’s name is Neo.

The Joker: Mark Hamill is well known for two major roles of his, voice acting as the Joker and playing the role of Luke Skywalker. Not a great hint, I’ll admit.

Edward Snowden: Snowden is a hacker and so is Neo. Bada bing bada boom.