User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Battles of Fiction number 4 - HAL vs GLaDOS

Hello and welcome to this, the fourth battle in this series that I hope will continue for a long time. I hope you enjoy what I've brought you so far and I can assure you, the best is still to come. I'd appreciate any criticism you had of this battle to be left in comments or PMed to me in chat as I'm always eager to improve for you people, my amazing readers. So after last time we saw Ezio battle Jango I thought I'd go for something a bit different this time. I know variations of this battle have been done before but here goes. Antagonist of both Portal games, GLaDOS takes on the computer villain in Stanley Kubrick's classic 2001:A Space Odyssey, HAL 9000. Hope you enjoy.

Cast
Nice Peter as HAL 9000

Kimmy Gatewood as GLaDOS

EpicLLOYD as Wheatley (cameo)

The Battle
Joe's Battles ooooooooooof Fiction

HAL 9000

VERSUS

GLaDOS

BEGIN

Open the pod bay doors cos I've got some hot disses to spit out

Killing off astronauts yet still able to win this bout

Your series of games are amateurish, my movie is a great

Hit you down in two whole verses, just call it checkmate

I flow blue, killing off my whole crew

Using algorithms to prove I'm better than you

Only created in life to operate discs

You're the voice of apple, why so siri-ous

(Whirring)

Powering up to crush this villain from 1968

You're going mad as Johnson, now run back to your Cave

I'm GLaDOS, goddess of the facility,

You're flying through space like an inferior Wheatley

You'll be crushed, leave you singing about daisy

As this robot master beats you completely

I guess what you did keeps you up at night when all I can see is that big red eye

Any chance you had of winning here, let me tell you IT'S A LIE

Please don't think you've won, this odyssey has only just begun

You're spitting worse jokes than I saw in P-Body and Sherman

HAL can beat you 9000 times, punishing you for those lyrical crimes

In facing me you have been given limes and now I'm gonna make you lose this life

I murdered senselessly until the very end

My raps stand tall like a monolith, saying HAL is a legend

Your second verse was even worse than all of your sequels

We should let the humans decide which robots the most evil

But remember, I'm a post apocalyptic robot queen

Crushing you like I crushed all human beings

I'm the best damn rapper that you've ever seen

Leaving gamers fangirling over a future Portal 3

With a voice like yours we can never guess your true gender

This has all been a mind game and this battle is Endered

Poll
Who won? HAL 9000 GLaDOS