User blog:Awesomesix/Dank Battles of May-mayness: Northern Philosophers vs Southern Philosophers

I tried to do a genocide run of Undertale but I couldnt get the game so i just went to ethiopia instead

beat by dre https://youtu.be/Xfn3QBMYkGc

seriously help me it hurts

Battle
EPIC RA

P

BATLE

SOCRATES

CONFUCIUS

CONFUCIUS

NIETZSCHE

VERSUS

STEVE IRWIN

SHAKA ZULU

AND ROBERT FALCON SCOTT

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Northern Philosophers:

We’re comin’ off the Acropolis, there’s no hope of stoppin this!

You common bitch east philoso-fists! Disproving your populous!

Australia doesn’t fucking exist! So suck on my philoso-dick!

My samurai will calm your tits, I’ll take a colossal philoso-shit!

Don’t make me call Caesar, go back to Ethiopia, you wee turd!

This geezer makes younglings hurt, handing out philoso-free burns!

Together, we clever men shall endeavor threats that never end,

From a Nigerian, reptile man, and a philoso-Antarctican!

I defeated Genghis Khan, I fought Sauron, so bring it on!

Aristotle’s got the throttle, Laozi, open the bottle on these coddled dongs!

Nietzsche eats cheese with the philoso-greatest of ease!

It enters and exits my philoso-bowels with a squeeze!

Southern Philosophers:

Brrr! Shaka Zulu do sick voodoo to you two and the poo-poo,

I lied to Irwin about the battle, I said we were facing count Dooku!

Shut up nigga, let me take the mic!

Face off against Teriyaki and the fat Greek dyke,

Two fat hos that no fucker likes,

With emo Freddie Mercury backin’ up from the right!

Aight, I see it, you wanna play me dirty?

Well I’ll fuck you with the mic until your prostate starts emerging!

Steve Irwin‘s venom’s fierce like sting ray tail,

Kill all faggots from the North, and prevail!

I call you a dork, but I mean dick of whale!

Your rhymes are more bland than some discount kale!

No Nigerian prince ass bitch is gonna fool me twice.

If I wanted to be served, I’d have ordered some rice.

Southwestern Philosophers:

It’s Pedro II, Simon Bolivar, ese!

Poncho Villa, ho, it’s about to get messy!

Did someone say Messi? Imma kick it in the goal

Representing Brazil too, to the Super Bowl!

Shut your dumb ass up, you from Argentina,

At least this ese’s played for a real team, yuh!

Southwest Airlines:

Our flights are real cheap, get you two whole seats,

One for your girl, playa, that deal’s so damn sweet,

Flying mile high, earning miles rewards,

Take your ass across the world, open new doors,

Get yo shit off the floor, we ain’t your cleaning whore,

We’ll also bomb the Twin Towers, but it’s a hefty reward.

So relax, and sit back, into another man’s lap,

We’ll get you home on point, like the rhymes in my rap.

South of the Border:

I came a little late, because I was escaping the patrol,

But now that I’m here, let’s get the party on a roll!

Officer Phil:

Hands down, white folk, I came for Shaka Zulu.

This dumbass over here wants to kill Count Dooku.

Count Dooku:

What did I do? I’m offended you would even try.

By the way, if you haven’t seen the movie, H-

Clint Eastwood:

Nice try, but I won’t let that fly, punk.

Now go home, and stop looking at my junk.

Middle Eastern Philosophers:

Jesus breezes through all emcees, kid

Beat in your peen skin, leave a ho bleedin’,

Mohammad, this rapper is most humble,

Sting like a bee of bumble, go hard when I pummel!

Forizzle, it’s Moses, who’s flows hit closest,

Foshizzle, man, what’s with this opened toe shit?

Whaddya mean? Can’t a nigga wear some Nikes?

I’m out in the desert, some bitch ass snake gonna bite me,

And I’ll fall D-E-A-single D,  I prefer the double,

This playa got his own shit without some asp causin’ trouble!

Moses, are you okay? Naw, I'm on some dope shit,

Where’s my man Dre at? Without his ass the beat is hopeless.

 * Dr. Dre pauses the beat.*

Dr. Dre:

Man fuck yo shit I prefer Eminem

Eminem:

My mom does crack, because she’s a whore!

My Peewee accent is the only thing I’m good for!

Moses:

Man what the fuck shit is this nigga on

Dr. Dre:

My newest beats

Moses:

Aw shit

Nietzsche:

God is dead, and I have killed myself.

Moses:

Naw dude, that’s some dark shit

Officer Phil:

Did I hear someone say dark?

Confucius:

One thing before I go, a point I must enforce:

Confucius say never trust a man who crazy horse!

Crazy Horse:

Wat

 * Shaka Zulu begins to shoot up everybody with the AK-47 in his backpack.*

WHO READ THIS?

YOU WON!

AND HAVE NO LIFE!

LOSER!

 Who Won? Confucius Lao Tzu Sun Tzu Socrates Nietzsche Isaac Newton Jesus Moses Cthulhu Steve Irwin Shaka Zulu Dr. Dre Snoop Dogg Thomas the Tank Engine Eminem Nobody Everbody, because we're all winners on the inside I believe this is good evidence North vs South should not exist Get it, Antarctica is in the south and that one Southern dude explored it???? Crazy Horse I don't Crazy Horse