User blog:Bantha117/Alexander the Great vs Genghis Khan. ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL) Season 3



Alrighty then. Let’s get down to business.

To defeat, the KHANS.

Yep, Mulan.

And Civ V.

Best of Every World!

Welcome back to Season 3 of ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL). We last saw each other during the premiere, Superman vs Stalin 2. So it’s time for another sequel, Lewis & Clark vs Bill & Ted 2! Just kidding, but this is sort of a sequel, in that it isn’t really at all. Hush. It’s Alexander the Great, the greatest Greek who wasn’t actually a Greek, going up against the TK-written Genghis Khan, whose name is actually more like “Jenga” than it is “Ganger”. Fushigi! Let’s not waste another moment.

Except let’s do just that because we need to give some real attention to TK, who we’ve been trying to work with since way back in Season 1 (RIP Calvin & Hobbes vs Mac & Bloo). Ye, you’ve finally done it, m8. On to Tigger (who wrote most of this)!

Tigger’s Note: i like civ and i like this battle

Alexander the Great vs Genghis Khan
OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY!

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Genghis Khan:

(Begins at 0:12)

HAHA! You’re in for a ride when you stride in on a saddle!

Alexander will need more than philosophy to strategize this battle!

I’m Genghis Khan! I took over the known world!

All you took was Alexandria! And you fight like a girl!

You conquered Persia? Haha, I’m the Universal Ruler!

Armed with verses that’ll school ya worse than Aristotle did to ya

I’m storming through the plains! Left destruction in my wake!

But why break? I’ll make this most tactical Great dig his own grave!

Alexander the Great:

(Begins at 0:37)

Ah! This mongrel of a Mongol wants to syrtos with the Great?

I'll conjure Hell-enic Greek fire that'll set him ablaze

Then conquer his pitiful cities, Hoplites in phalanx

To break your ranks, reincarnate your towns as my namesake!

You fertilized any wench with a hind you admired

I've fertilized lands with the seeds of an empire!

The Achaemenid-ending Macedon military mastermind's

soon to show Temujin what happens when his horse's too high!

Genghis Khan:

(Begins at 1:01)

For the master of Macedonia, your rappin’s soundin’ passive

My Mongols are storming ya! Drums that’ll make you manic!

Then send Alex’s last brass axe back to Pax Mongolia

Strap your sad ass fastened to the fastest of the Yam, showing ya

to your soldiers who were given the cold shoulders in India

I’ll make you an idle like Caesar, when I’m stabbing into ya!

Finally, I’ll leave you in a field, bleeding and beaten on

Scheming against me, screaming my name like it was, “KHAAAAN!”

Alexander the Great:

(Begins at 1:26)

Need a lasso, John Wayne? So I can keep you in bind?

Pour silver down your throat while gold flows out mine!

I'll flay this Philistine Attila, keep his brutes in line.

It's meritocracy, and it's your time to be euthanized!

I'm eternal! Even Rome knows to leave their respects to me.

Opened Greece to your East's measly embassies!

So tread lightly, if you make great Alexander your enemy,

Like your grave, history will be unmarked with your memory!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED...

QUALITY!

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG!

Victory!!! Genghis Khan Alexander the Great

Check out more battles from TK: