User blog:DudeWithASuit/Taviwave vs Simon Cowell. Dwassy G's Underground Rap Battles Season 2

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy guyyyyyyyyyyyyys, welcome to Dwassy G's Underground Rap Battles. Look, I don't feel like doin' anything today, so I'mma just relax and shit, but I wanted to give y'all a battle that may not be the most triuphant thing I've ever written, but I had fun writing it, AND HAVING FUN IS ALL THAT MATTERS, GUYS.

Also this took awhile to code so please  thumbs up and share with your friends!

Okay, this time we got Taviwave, Supreme Commander of the Universe, up against Simon Cowell, the guy who did American Idol and X-Factor and all those cool things. LETS DO THIS SHIT.

Also if someone can make an iTunes cover I will pay you HUGS and KISSES. :}

Lastly SORRY JOE FOR PUSHING DOWN YOUR BATTLE ALREADY I DIDN'T MEAN TO ;(

Simon Cowell:
(Beat starts at 0:22)

Let me start off by saying you look like The Incredible Hulk’s wife.

After you’ve heard my disses you’ll be left like “How is this my life?”

The time has come, Tavi, and I hope you take my advice,

‘Cause I’m not an easy opponent to burn, you can only melt Ice.

I give real criticism to people, something you cannot.

You can’t review stuff for shit; keep to your sandbox!

I’ve already had enough of this, just seeing you makes me want to cry.

But I’ll have a huge smile on my face when I Tavi-wave you goodbye.

Taviwave:
You seem to think you’re royalty just because you’re British,

Now allow me to explain to you why your verse was rubbish.

So you’ve decided to come out of your little booth? Applause from me.

But you’re gonna wish you’ve stayed when I murder this Melody.

I’m not a perfect rapper, now that I can admit.

And Rap Basics, let’s face it, you could definitely use it!

You could’ve prevented this, now everyone knows you’re not a rapper.

I’m better than you in every way, too bad you can’t X-out those Factors.

Simon Cowell:
<p style="color:#5070FF">I’ve heard some bad performances in my time; but that was the worst.

<p style="color:#5070FF">You’re the Queen of Wretched Writing if you thought that was a good verse.

<p style="color:#5070FF">I guess goes to show you can’t be a rapper and be in a fandom.

<p style="color:#5070FF">If you had a singing teacher, I recommend you get a lawyer and sue them.

<p style="color:#5070FF">Your first verse was enough, I couldn’t bare to see a part two,

<p style="color:#5070FF">If you rhymed like that three thousand years ago, they would have stoned you.

<p style="color:#5070FF">You still want to run your mouth? For once try to contain your rage.

<p style="color:#5070FF">It’s a no from me, so how about you get the hell off the stage?

Taviwave:
<p style="color:#BCBCBC">I think your rapping just created a new form of torture.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">Do you feel my disses getting warmer? I’m like a walking scorcher.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">You’ve entered a war zone now, and it seems you don’t have the proper artillery.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">There’s only One Direction this battle will go, and it ends in my victory.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">So if you had any brains left, you would already dashed.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">Someone with more than two brain cells know to run before TAVI SMASH!

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">Well look at that, my latest lyric ideas have been unveiled.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">If you win this competition, then the judges have failed.

Gordon Ramsay:
<p style="color:#FF0000">The real walking scorcher is here- and I’m not in the mood!

<p style="color:#FF0000">Some idiot just burned sushi, so I’ll spit bars like I spit in your food!

<p style="color:#FF0000">Cowell fuck off you twat before I leave you Chopped!

<p style="color:#FF0000">Tavi don’t you know I’m better at a women’s only job!?

Simon Cowell:
<p style="color:#5070FF">I’m just going to stop you there, um, what the hell was that?

<p style="color:#5070FF">No one wants you here, Ramsay, leave and have a maxipad.

Taviwave:
<p style="color:#BCBCBC">That explains a lot, Gordon, because your food isn’t delish.

<p style="color:#BCBCBC">I don’t know what you cook in Hell’s Kitchen, but it sure is devilish.

Statler and Waldorf:
<p style="color:#B5A642">So what did you think, Statler? <span style="color:rgb(97,64,81);">Oh, I slept through the whole thing.

<p style="color:#B5A642">The audience would be cheering, but your bad lines killed them already!

<p style="color:#614051">Oh come on, Waldorf, they weren’t THAT bad. <span style="color:rgb(181,166,66);">You’re right, they were ALL bad!

<p style="color:#B5A642">You spin us right round, and it’s making our old hearts sad!

<p style="color:#614051">Wait a minute, I hear Hakuna Matata, Ramsay needs to cook that pork!

<span style="color:rgb(181,166,66);">Are you kidding? Give it to the Swedish Chef! (<span style="color:rgb(255,128,64);">Bork! Bork! Bork! )

<p style="color:#614051">You think they’ll all shut up for once? That was almost too easy!

<p style="color:#B5A642">So did you get tickets for the sequel? <span style="color:rgb(97,64,81);">Nope, I got tickets for straight out the city! <span style="color:rgb(213,212,212);">(Ohohohoho!)

Taviwave:
<p style="color:#BCBCBC">Okay this is getting a bit ridiculous.

Simon Cowell:
<p style="color:#5070FF">Wanna know what else? Gordon Ramsay’s menu list.

Gordon Ramsay:
<p style="color:#FF0000">Oh please, you have the personality of a fucking door handle!

Simon Cowell:
<p style="color:#5070FF">At least I’m not a racist, claiming burnt food stole my bicycle.

Gordon Ramsay:
<p style="color:#FF0000">How can I be racist when that’s a crime and crime is for black people?

Taviwave:
<p style="color:#BCBCBC">...

Poll
Who won? Taviwave Simon Cowell Gordon Ramsay Statler and Waldorf