User blog:WonderPikachu12/Handsome Jack vs The Phantom of the Opera. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Season 3



And now we return back to the next installment of the villain season, featuring a match-up I've really loved for a while featuring two insane masked villains. Yes, it's Majora's Mask vs The Mask!

Anyways, jokes aside, this battle was suggested and guested by Cave, who did a fantastic job playing the role of Handsome Jack. Really hope you enjoy, was a ton of fun to work on.

Not much else to say here, lol.

'The main antagonist of Borderlands 2 and a major character throughout the Borderlands series, Handsome Jack, and the main protagonist of his eponymous novel and musical, The Phantom of the Opera, face off in a battle of two deranged, scarred-and-masked villains.'

PROLOGUE:

The chatter amongst the room was noticeably beginning to dwindle down in noise. With ten people who had previously inhabited the room now gone, the room had started clearing up. Handsome Jack had been scanning the crowd, which was still pretty damn massive, and took notice of someone missing, somehow. “Yo! Terrifying turtle guy!” Handsome Jack called up to Bowser, approaching him. “There was another masked guy here that I’m pretty sure I was supposed to face- because, let’s be honest, who the fuck else would I be put up against here?- but now he’s up and missing.”

Bowser’s eyes glanced around the crowd, and his eyes widened a bit. “Phantom!” Bowser shouted, his eyes moving up to the chandeliers dangling high above the crowd. All seemed quiet, but one was noticeably swaying just a bit. One that was now hanging directly over Handsome Jack. “Fuck! GET DOWN!”

Bowser tackled into Handsome Jack right as a chandelier snapped and began to fall. It crashed into Bowser’s shell, shattering in an instant, as the two dictators barreled into the crowd, a number of others ending up knocked over. Bowser stood up, shaking himself off, as he glared up at the remaining chandelier. “You’re supposed to fight AFTER you leave!!” Bowser roared upwards. “This is the kind of shit I was trying to avoid!”

“I’ve dealt with enough people attempting to assassinate me. This guy should be nothing,” Handsome Jack shrugged it off. “It’s fine, I get it. I’m amazing and you’re jealous! Have to resort to being a sneaky fuck and attacking me when my back is turned. I respect that. But that’s not how this works, kiddo! You have to get down here and fight me dead on. One-on-one, mano y mano. I think you know what that means. You’re Spanish or something, right?”

A figure dropped from the chandelier, wrapped in a black cloak and a white mask shielding his face. “You are truly a foolish one thinking you can challenge me directly.”

“I’ve faced worse. I’ve killed the fucking Destroyer, you know!” Handsome Jack proudly stated. The Phantom of the Opera tilted his head in confusion. “...eh, nevermind, that’s not something you need to worry about. Point is, fight me!”

Bowser just shoved the two off down the hall towards the portal. “No one ever listens to me,” the Koopa King grumbled as he trudged back to his throne.

(Starts at 0:11)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY



VS



BEGIN!

The Phantom of the Opera:

(0:22)

Insolent boy! You can't test me with the crude way that you dress.

Know that when I'm finished with you, I won't be the only Red Death.

Check your ECHOnet, fellow mess. I could leave the ghettos wrecked.

Vous avez abusé de votre femme! Vous êtes un morceau de merde.

I'm a Demigod! I throw my voice around so fast and quick when I spit this.

The illest villain killin' it, I'll be dropping chandeliers down on any unfortunate witness.

You can't win this. I'm undoubtedly a legend. Forever in heaven, an Angel and a Destroyer.

Beating this liar, flim flam, scam of a man, who deserves to be locked up in a box on Pandora.

And since you're so used to lies, I'm sure you know your win would be a Le-ruse!

Kick you in the Butt Stallion, I can easily out rap any greed-consumed fools!

You're a hack! This mad man arises my aria, but shouldn't hope to attack back,

Or else I'll leave him trapped in the cellar forever: The Cask of the Sad Sack Jack!

Handsome Jack:

(0:54)

Handsome Jack here, spittin’ sick against Leonidas dressed as mopey V.

So welcome to Pandora, kiddo. I’m used to dealing with Psychos like you, see?

Get Whilhelm to make you Scream, won’t be a challenge to Gaige my score,

And ugh, your whole story's a bore. The masked stranger thing's been done before!

This Warrior’s on a Campaign of Carnage, got his battle’s win Hammer-locked in.

Fucking Tiny Tina could beat you, so up against me, chances of survival are slim.

I’m invincible, bitch! You die from a kiss. I live on through bitchin’ holograms!

You’re as dumb as a Brick, kidnapping girls to help your blue balls? Damn!

You’re just a crappy old play, while I’m freakin’ reinventin’ the genre!

With that Count Orlok lookin’ face, it’s no wonder you got that mask put on ya!

I’m a Badass! Firin’ shots at you as if your name was Face McShooty!

And, to be honest kiddo, that verse was a bigger disgrace than your movie!

The Phantom of the Opera:

(1:27)

John, hark! Less you back down now, you shall know the true wrath of the Phantom,

Who will abuse you like your grandma. I shall only ever find one truly Handsome!

You hunt Vault hunters; I vault over blunt fuckers who just can't clap their trap.

We're past the point of no return! All I ask of you is to stay silent in this battle rap.

I only wish to do duets with Christine. You are not worth the effort it takes.

Just leave me be, please, for I have learned the error of my ways,

While you were bitter until the end. There's no comparison between our lives.

You think you can kill me? Must because you've already let one Angel die.

Handsome Jack:

(1:49)

Oh, now I’m El-pissed off! There's no Sanctuary for this son of a taint.

I'll scoop your eyes out with a spoon if I get the Opportunity, and I ain’t,

Too happy with you mentioning Angel, you horny freak playin’ hide-and-seek.

Claptrap's smarter than your costumed ass, and it ain't too hard to see,

That you're a lowlife; you can't even get a kiss from your momma!

Batshit crazy! I'm making pay! While you're more insane than Nakayama!

But I got moons to save, I don't give a shit about the New-U. It's clear, though.

You'll always be a villain, so I killed the beat AND you! Erik is Dead, slain by a true hero!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES-

(A chandelier crashes on the logo.)

v-video...GAMES...VS HISTORYYYYY!!!

EPILOGUE:

Mario stepped into an opera house, looking around. It was pitch black, but he used a fireball to guide the way. “Hello?” He called out. Just a moment ago, he'd heard shouting and the lights were on, but as soon as he stepped in, all went dark and quiet. He made his way through the opera house and soon found a staircase leading down into the cellar. “A-hellooooo?” Mario called out again. It was dead quiet, only his voice echoing through the halls of the cellar bringing any sort of noise.

The plumber approached a coffin, just laying in the middle of one room. Sliding the lid off, Mario would find the body of Erik lying inside. Not knowing who he was, lifting off his mask would lead Mario to believe that he'd been here for a while, with how sunken in his skin was into his skull. As a doctor, he could have done a further diagnosis on the time and cause of his death, but he was in a hurry. He closed the lid of the coffin back onto the deceased Phantom and hurried off down another hall to find what could've been the source of the shouting.

As Mario searched the halls, he would be unaware of three children stepping out from a hallway he passed, each with faces just as sunken in as Erik’s. They made not a word, only watching as the man before them carried on through the cellar towards his next destination.

Who won? Handsome Jack The Phantom of the Opera

Here's a hint for the next battle:



Hints for this battle explained:

Majora's Mask vs The Mask - Aside from being another mask vs mask battle, both masked characters are notably insane, and The Mask is popularly pitted against The Phantom of the Opera for ERB.

Handsome Squidward - Handsome Jack

CaveJohnson333 - Not only does it refer to Cave guesting in the battle, but attention is drawn towards "The artist formerly known as Jack", referring to Cave's previous username of Jack, which is used to hint at Handsome Jack again.