User blog:Mcdamon23/ Battle of the seven deadly sins - Epic rap battles of Ace Attorney vs History Off-Season

(Spoilers to FMA(2003) and Investigations 2)

Welcome to an off-season installment of Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney vs History.

Today we're having a special edition of the series. It's a special seven sins battle and Dante has nothing to do with this(besides some mentions). This battle features two groups of seven deadly sins. The seven Ace Attorney characters representing the sins going against one of my favorite representations of the sins, The Homunculus from FullMetal Alchemist. The 2003 version to be precise, because it got a better Sloth and Wrath personally.

Lust will be represented, the woman who gets men to do her bidding, Dee Vasquez. Representing Gluttony, we got the man who got hungry for more power, Damon Gant. For Envy we got the body double of Di-jun Haung who killed his wast to become president. Furio Tigre, owner of loan company Tender Lender represents Greed. Sloth is represent by the snoring steward, Cammy Meele. Morgan Fey the vengeful spirit medium is to be representing Wrath and finally for Pride there's no one better then Manfred Von Karma.

The idea was inspired by Drak's wonderful seven sins and UberCity's sin battle. I've been thinking of it for a long time, but I didn't really had an idea to make unique so I put it to the side. It resurfaced however when I started watching Fma. I found the Humonculi such a fun twist on the seven sins that  I finally decided to do this.

Let me just say that despite the fact they appear in the battle that I'm definitly reusing most of them for an on-season battle(one of them is appearing in the second half of the season in fact). If you got any ideas for them please note them down.

Credits to Leandro for the lovely cover and Drak for helping me out to decide who to represent some of the sins. With that out of the way let's get this started.

Battle:
(Sal Manella cameo in this color . Not even gonna bother noting down the rest.)

Epic rap battles of Ace Attorney vs History: Battle of seven sins

Dee Vasquez

vs

Lust

Begin

 Dee Vasquez: 

Sigh, who wants to bother me? how boring, another seducer with sex appeal.

Not worth losing my mind over. Guess that Samurai gave me some nerves of steel.

Can someone give her a script? She forgot which side she has to help out.

You just can’t find good workers these days. The Scars of the past brings out doubt.

Let me Hammer it in, you’ll do Jack shit. You see, I got me this bracelet.

Give no motion as the lifeless doll you are, my mob puts you in your placement.

Sh3’s r3ally Hawt 4 a SiN th0. I couldn’t care less for a pretty face.

If she doesn’t keep her memories straight the clouds are worth more of my days.

 Lust: 

Ain’t you the diva? I See you brought your verse writer. He makes good disposal.

Can’t do it alone. Now her productions meet their maker when I hit Global.

Playing it all cool? Clear the smoke from your pipe, there’s a woman weak and frail.

I’d suggest you stay back or feel the same fate as Manuel of getting impaled.

Your men can shoot me all they want, the bullets are a massage to my back.

Kiss your career farewell. My lips won’t be shut down nor that of Oldbags.

Guys come after me, I broke down their towns. I could shred your Will Powers in two.

Can I go eat them up? We’ll let them live for now, the next one is all for you.

 Damon Gant: 

Already thinking to eat? It don’t get deeper for the group’s comic relief.

Interesting you’re not, Glutso. No matter, any evil don’t pass the chief.

Dumb goofballs don’t bring scares, I struck fear with a stare from my eyes.

You’re not all that harmful, I know three that could beat you: Me, myself and I.

I swim in power from the police to the prosecution. Lawyers be next.

The Skyes ain’t the limit. They’re all living puppets that you fit in with the rest.

Ironic is it not that the fat one has the biggest empty feeling out of the bunch?

Heard you turned to a monster, but the one thing changed is a bigger need for lunch.

 Gluttony: 

How lovely, It’s The Chief of Police. What a big feast to have for my mouth

I’m not a big one for words. I prefer to have things go inside than go out,

but this food ain’t fresh or delicious. It’s core has gotten very rotten.

Better eat it before it rises in ashes. No snack can be forgotten.

Don’t care for nice acts and law means nothing. My tummy needs to be fed.

Whether smart or duped by rookie Lawyers. I’d take any tool in the shed.

You won’t be pulling on my strings. Only Lust decides when lunching is done.

Enough talk, dinner time. Go enter the Darkeside of me where you belong.

 Di-Jun Haung(body double): 

Hold the press. Zheng Fa’s leader giving his speech. Won’t be stopped by spiky head.

Heard he gets things accomplished. I’ve seen his actions. I’m not all that impressed.

Fooled a city with your change? I did that to a whole nation. Feel Jealous yet?

Don’t forget who got away killing a president? Booth, Schrank and you can’t match.

No use for my land’s men. Brooks and Knights all I need to knock a pawn of the map.

Mad on daddy issues, but who wouldn’t ditch a pain obsessed loon to get Ed?

There’s a clear difference. I succeed with what I want, you’ve lost in your prime.

Went and crossed the line, pulled the last strokes of your life to choke on ol’ Hohenheim.

 Envy: 

This is a joke, right? Which country’s so dumb to be fooled by his awful lying?

Must be the land of Oz, Only dream lands would be ruled by Cowardly Lions.

I have no envy of you changing into a slightly bigger dumb ape.

Holding in your breath to hide your fatass, but I’ll gladly kick you back in shape.

You’re dumb to face one with many faces. Give Phantoms shame how fast I change looks.

Perhaps I’ll turn into that orphan. It fits as I write your death down in books.

With guards already dead and a killing weapon less stupid than damn balloons.

I know you’ve been scared of my shots, for it ends the lives of “president” buffoons

 Furio Tigre: 

Hear the Tiger roar. Barin’ down my claws in the brawl. I’ll bring down the Slaughter.

Whose dis punk think he can fuck with me? youse be messin’ with the Mc Bomber.

Want a recipe for disaster or somethin’? Pick your poison, I got ‘em.

Them’s greed be the end of youse. I’ve gone made a mockery of all them courtsmen.

Youse been goin’ lone wolf, I went Loan Shark and look what’s gotten in return, bro?

I’d be rollin’ in dough of them debtors. Youse be gettin’ Dante’s inferno.

Got locked up for plenty years. Youse not be smart rebellin’ gainst all the rest.

Been doin’ lots of fleein’ yet still first to fall. Youse be a minor pest.

 Greed: 

Ain’t it funny. the fool brings a cardboard badge to court and somehow gets away

I give you this. That dumb disguise is still better than what Envy does. Hey!

Enough messing around, when you’re on your own like me you get foes of the chest

Tender Lender’s bad temper shall be dismembered inside the Devil’s nest.

Your weak French Armstrong slave couldn’t harm my skin and those threats ain’t a doozie.

Come on, you go full pansy on a little girl. The Tiger’s one big pussy.

Mafia’s bitch doing their bidding. Me? I don’t do orders, I make them.

I’ll be off chasing my desires now. My Chimera crew shall take ya.

 Cammy Meele: 

Welcome aboard iFly Airlines. I’ll be you favorite Meele of the day.

Supposedly here to go face some brothers mother’s soulless body today.

But she’s acts so monotone and flat, my teddy can’t bear someone so boring.

Let’s be like the manga and have her not exist. I’m going back to zzznoring...

…Just kidding. Thought this was over already? You really ain’t the brightest

Disguising as a dead woman, surely no suspicions will be rising...

I thought Homunculi don’t have feelings. You Must’ve taken the wrong flight.

As your sinner “child” gets your boys to put you to sleep forever. Good niiight...

 Sloth: 

Sorry to burst your bubble. I simply couldn’t Douglas of your lazy act.

Forget about the ring, you should be more worried to keep your job in tact.

A steward in the air, yet full of lowpoints. Borginian’s the one thing fluent.

Let mommy teach you some things. You’ll find out my flow’s like my body, fluid.

It’s clear you’re no high flyer. The secret agent quickly busted of her grievance.

Somehow got a boy with her jealousy. Must be proof men only want cleavage.

Past the name you’re no fighter, a real push-over with kills. A disappointment.

Going deep at the secretary? Like Hughes, you made the wrong appointment.

 Morgan Fey: 

A young spirit is to be disposed. Let the village tradition begin.

This should be child play. First pick of what’s fake. From your mother to the limbs.

You don’t know true loss. I lost control I deserved to the wrong side of the tree,

but they’ll rue the day screwing Morgan Fey to take what’s mine away from me.

I’m not that big a sinner. Who wouldn’t end a thief to make their Pearl shine bright?

Listen to mom, stay on Yock Island. You and me aren’t of the same type.

Hope your mind can understand. I’m not sure after the overdose on red stones.

No matter Body parts, you’re more brat then alchemist. A misfit to the bone.

 Wrath: 

Ugh, can you shut it? All the growls of bitter anger starts hurting my head.

Geez, no wonder you can’t keep a husband. How selfish can one woman get?

Playing Ini Mimi Miney moe, only gets you meditating in jail.

Give it a break. It says alot when little Dollie says you’re brain is not well.

Kurain sure knows to bring dead back. Like some alchemy you can’t take.

One Fey’s got it, but now family dinners got lots of salt on your steak.

You’re not my mother. Mommy takes good care of me, both Izumi and Sloth.

Daughters don’t be tooled today. Time to tear through a kimono til the last cloth.

 Manfred Von Karma: 

Scheiße, how awful. These worthless fools is who I have to associate with?

Okay, step aside you failures. Let me put some perfection in the mix.

Forty years with no flaws. None’s better. Even My ID says I’m number one.

I know you like to suck of to the master so you can start after I’m done.

This is a masterpiece? Must have aged badly then. He’s the most dull of the batch.

Not born great, just stole it. King Bradley’s a pirate. He even got the eyepatch.

My daughter knows only fools dare to mess with Von Karma. Believe me, it’s true.

Sad you can’t admit then again your thick skull literally was the end of you.

 Pride: 

Would you look at that? The “god of prosecution” brags too much. Oh, what a twist...

How strong of a game you’ve played. Shame for the struggle on the free DL-6.

Like what I did with the people of Ishval, a death wish is which I’m giving.

If a crook’s the best that law gets then humans truly are not worth living.

Sharpened the tips of my blades. Hit faster then you’ll say your turnabout goodbye.

Break apart your ego. Hidden evidence won’t get past my Homuncul-eye.

Best of Dante’s creations, at the top of the military with no fear.

Simply put, I’m Miles ahead of you. You could say my shots can end your career.

 Manfred Von Karma: 

This German won’t bow down for the Fuhrer. Von Karma always leaves his foes blank.

Leader of an army, gets burned by his top commander. Boy, that must stang.

 Pride: 

Are you finished now? What you got there ain’t courtroom drama, it’s pity drama.

This bout has gone on long enough. What a sin it had to end on bad Karma.

Who Won?

Who's next?

You decide!

Epic Rap Battles of Ace Attorney vs History

Poll
who won? Ace Attorney's seven sins The homunculus whose did the best of Ace Attorney's seven sins? Dee Vasquez Damon Gant Di-jun Huang(Body double) Furio Tigre Cammy Meele Morgan Fey Manfred Von Karma whose did the best of the homunculus? Lust Gluttony Envy Greed Sloth Wrath Pride

Hints
Hints explained:

The Seven deadly sins - Do I even have to explain it?