Rasputin vs Stalin/Rap Meanings

Rasputin:
Cool mustache, Wario!

(Rasputin compares Stalin's mustache to Wario's from the Mario Bros. series.)

Try messing with the Mad Monk, you'll be sorry, yo!

(Rasputin was known as the Mad Monk.)

How many dictators does it take

(A rhetorical question, to be sure.)

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?

(After the Bolsheviks overthrew the Empire, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was formed. Six despots, including Stalin, ruled the USSR until the mid-'80s, creating what Rasputin terms a "union of ruinous states".)

It's a disgrace what you did to your own people!

(Rasputin finds Stalin's conduct toward his own unbecoming. He'll explain.)

Yo daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil!

(Stalin's father was an alcoholic and severely abused both Stalin and his mother during Stalin's childhood.)

You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia,

(Stalin was born in Georgia, the country. Ray Charles wrote "Georgia On My Mind" about the US state of Georgia, with "Georgia, Sweet Georgia" as part of its chorus. A common stereotype about Georgia, the US state is that people who are from there have a sweet personality.)

And the history books unfold ya

(Stalin was, by many accounts, an evil mass-murderer, especially in history books that reveal the truth about him. He is often paired with Hitler, who was also a mass murderer. History books also talk about Hitler being murderous)

As a messed up motherfucker bent in the mind

(Stalin, like Hitler, was crazy.)

Who built a superpower but he paid the price

(But he built the USSR into a superpower. His rashness, though, cost him his life.)

With the endless destruction of Russian lives

(Stalin murdered many Russians, just as Hitler murdered many Jews)

If you're a man of steel, I spit kryptonite!

(Stalin's nickname is "Man of Steel", which is also Superman's nickname. Superman is weak to kryptonite, so Rasputin says that his raps are Stalin's weakness.)

Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize

(Rasputin supposedly had sexual intercourse with many women and is also said to have performed miracles and even hypnotize.)

I can end you with a whisper to your wife!

(It was rumored that Rasputin had been bedding Tsar Nikolai II's wife while he was there to help cure their son.)

Stalin:
Look into my eyes, you perverted witch!

(Rasputin can be seen as a witch, due to his healing and supposed psychic powers. Stalin calls him a pervert due to Rasputin supposedly having sex with several women.)

See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch!

(Russia is often referenced as a "mother" by its people, so it might be personified as a woman. With this as the case, Stalin could say he broke her and made a slave of her. With his reported talents, Rasputin could see one's soul, and Stalin wants him to see his.)

You think I give a fuck about my wife?!

(Stalin makes it plain that he is a cruel bastard, referencing Rasputin's last line.)

My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life!

(Stalin's first son was sent to one of his gulags, or torture camps.)

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!

(Rasputin's large penis is in a jar and is speculated to have actually belonged to a moose.)

I'd leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot!

(Stalin was infamous for executing dissidents)

'''Your whole family, shot! All your wizard friends, shot!'''

(Stalin will execute all of Rasputin's relatives and friends. Two years after Rasputin died, the Tsar and his family were executed by firing squad)

Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot!

(Pierogi are Slavic potato dumplings, and have more in common with ravioli than they have with dumplings. If Rasputin got even one, Stalin would shoot the donor.)

Starve you for days till you waste away

(Stalin will starve Rasputin to death.)

I even crushed motherfuckers when I'm laid in state

(Even after death, Stalin is still defeating his opponents.)

Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture

(Leon Trotsky was a friend of Lenin. Trotsky was assassinated by one of Stalin's operatives in Mexico for his opposition to totalitarian rule. He was then blotted out of photographs that showed him and Lenin together.) 

Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch-slapped Hitler

(When Hitler attempted to advance into Russia, the results were ugly. Stalin's army was better-equipped for adverse weather, the story goes, and Hitler's was not. The Nazis were decimated. The Soviet emblem includes a hammer. Also, Hitler was also played by Lloyd and was also a mass murdering dictator like Stalin.)

Lenin:
I have no pride for you

(Lenin breaks in, and there's no love between him and Stalin, contrary to what Stalin just said.)

Who ruined everything my revolution was doing

(Instead of allowing Lenin's socialism to manifest, Stalin made a dictatorship of the USSR.)

To stop the bourgeoisie!

(Lenin's goal was to shift the balance of power from the upper class, or bourgeoisie, to the working class. More coming.)

I fought the bondage of classes, the proletariat masses

(Lenin succeeded in his objectives. Now, the proletariat, or working class...)

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses

(...has summoned Lenin to diss both Stalin and Rasputin.)

Let me start with you there, Frankenstein!

(Lenin is poking fun at Rasputin's homely appearance)

Looking like something out of R.L. Stine!

(Rasputin might be a "Goosebumps" creature. R.L. Stine was the "Goosebumps" series author.)

It's hip-hop chowder, red over white

(A veiled reference to both sides of the Revolution; royal loyalists were white, and the socialists, red. Lenin's faction won, so red over white. There's a nod in here to red and white chowder; some prefer the tomato-based red chowders over the cream-based white ones.)

'Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight

(Rasputin was very close with Tsar Nikolai II's wife, Aleksandra, and it is thought that they had an affair.)

And Joseph, you were supposed to be my right-hand man

(Stalin was Lenin's subordinate during the Revolution and was promoted to a higher rank within what became the CPSU behind Lenin.)

But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man!

(A pun on the fact Stalin had a withered hand. Stalin betrayed Lenin during the Russian Revolution. Fact Check: Stalin's withered hand was his left hand, not his right.)

Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark

(Lenin's rebellion might have worked in the USSR's favor if not for Stalin's insanity, says he.)

And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!

(Karl Marx was a German philosopher whose ideas birthed socialism, and was the inspiration for the Russian Revolution and Lenin's policies. Stalin broke from Lenin's ideals, says he.)

Gorbachev:
Knock knock knock knock

(Gorbachev opens a hidden door.)

Did somebody say birthmarks?

(Gorbachev enters after committing a mondegreen (he misheard Lenin's phrase). He has a port-wine birthmark on his forehead.)

Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnost

(Glasnost was Gorbachev's directive of "openness" toward the West)

Assholes made a mess and the war got cold

(All of Gorbachev's predecessors were central figures in the Cold War save Rasputin. Under Stalin and Lenin, the Russian economy and culture were suppressed by the regime; and thus, the people were in a mess that was largely obfuscated (covered up) by the Party)

Shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonald's, no doubt

(Gorbachev shook hands and made peace with US President Ronald Reagan. During his leadership, the first McDonald's was opened in the Soviet Union. The McDonald's mascot is Ronald McDonald.)

If your name end with "in", time to get out!

(Rasputin, Stalin, and Lenin all have names ending with 'in'. Also this is a pun since "out" is the opposite of "in".)

I have the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, player!

(Mikhail (Misha) Baryshnikov is a ballet dancer from the USSR who defected to North America.  Fact check: Misha Baryshnikov's defection took place in 1976 under Yuri Andropov, not Gorbachev.)

Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah!

(Reagan famously pleaded with Gorbachev to "tear down" the Berlin Wall. The Kool-Aid Man was an official mascot for the powder drink through the '80's, and when he broke in with an "Oh yeah!!", brick walls broke down.)

You two need yoga (Дa!), you need to shower (Дa!)

(To Stalin and Lenin: relax. To Rasputin: clean up. Rasputin rarely bathed or showered and Stalin and Lenin have a lot of power.)

And you all need to learn how to handle real power!

(True power is neither psychic, nor acquired by force, Gorbachev says. It's attained through understanding of what the people want.)

Putin:
Did somebody say real power?

(Putin busts his way in)

Дa, you want to mess with me?

(And he's taunting the others. "Дa" /DAH/ actually means "yes" in Russian. Here: "Yeah, you want to mess with me?")

I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beats

(Borscht (or more accurately borshch) is a beet soup served many ways in Russia and surrounding areas. Putin is using the stuff to roast his opponents, like Gorbachev.)

Blow it up like a tuba while I'm balling in Cuba

(Putin moved nuclear missiles into Cuba recently, and he's telling them to blow the bombs up like a tuba, as communists are usually evil.)

Doing judo moves and schooling every Communist сука

(сука [suka] /SOO-ka/ is Russian for "bitch".  Putin is skilled in martial arts. He says he will beat up every Communist, i.e. all but Rasputin.)

I'm a president in my prime, my enemies don't distract me

(Putin is the current president of Russia. Russia has been secure ever since Putin became president.  Not even half-naked punk-rocker human rights protesters faze him.)

The last man who attacked me lived a half-life so Comrade, come at me

(A half-life is the amount of time it takes for one half of a quantity of radioactive material to decay into more stable material.  The "last man who attacked" Putin is Alexander Litvinenko, a Russian dissident, who died in exile in London after ingesting polonium-210, a radioactive element.  It's widely believed Putin ordered it or knows who did.

''Regardless, he invites all to try and beat him, but in so doing invokes a common stereotype of Russian-English speech. Russians do NOT currently use "Comrade" as a form of address, though they did use "товарищ" (tovarishch) during the socialist period. That term implies "business partner".)''

You don't know what you're doing, when you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin!

(He is saying that it is not a good idea to rap against Putin.)

You'll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!

(Putin was an agent of the Soviet State Security Committee, better known as the KGB, before becoming the second and fourth President of the Russian Federation. СССР is the Russian abbreviation for the USSR, read as "SSSR". But since the Cyrillic S looks like Latin C and the R like Latin P, it's often read that way in English, leading to funny stuff.)