User blog:Awesomesix/Charles Darwin vs Ash Ketchum (Original)

In the 15th installment of Awesome Rap Battles 2.0, famous scientist Charles Darwin face off against Pokemon master Ash Ketchum to see which person is the "mascot" of evolution.

Info
Original release date: June 5, 2014

Characters: Charles Darwin, Ash Ketchum, Pikachu (cameo)

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES!

CHARLES DARWIN!

VERSUS!

ASH KETCHUM!

BEGIN!

Ash Ketchum:

Representing from Pallet town, with lines full of color,

Comes the 10 year old legend who respects his mother,

Was sent on an epic quest, to capture the Gods in a sphere,

But all I got was an ugly Gandalf with a gnarly beard.

Take your sideburns, Hans, and fuck off to poor miss,

Pele, where you spend your days trying to ride a tortoise,

I’ll take all your theories, and stick them up your rear,

I’m the only one, who can score four girls in one year,

You couldn’t get one, so you stuck to your cousin,

I shoot thunderbolts, bitch, my lines are Electabuzzin’,

Now fuck off! You’re some normal geezer, I’m a legend,

You’re some loser pissing off religion since 1837!

Charles Darwin:

I’ve got no time, for a boy, who can’t even ride his bike,

Hanging out with elders and capturing animals day and night,

I don’t need to rePETA all the points of your violent acts,

No one gives a Finch about your balls, so keep them in your pants,

It’s not an insult for a little girl to call a grown man a wizard,

When on your team, the only move girls will do is scissor,

Not one Hoothoot will be given when it comes to sparing children,

I got the balls to blast “blasphemy”; I ain’t scared of religion,

Your only fans are in preschool; can’t even pronounce all the names,

Just face reality, Peter Pan; you’ll need to grow up some day,

You can’t get a badge, and you can’t find your dad? Not saddened,

Don’t be surprised if you lose, natural selection just happens.

Ash Ketchum:

I’m realistic, idealistic; I don’t need 50-something badges to prove,

That I’m the best damn trainer that the whole world ever knew,

From Kanto to Hoenn, I’m blowing minds, they keep exploding,

Like the Gary Oak bloke when he finds my team growing,

Only one thing left to do; Pikachu, I choose you!

Pikachu, thunderbolt!

Pikachu:

PIKA-CHUUUU!

Charles Darwin:

No measly rodent is potent enough to stop my attacks,

I ir-Raticate punk Ratattas with my highly evolved raps,

An STD’s the only thing that you’re catching all

Of when you let your friend Misty use your Masturballs.

Dawn upon you as it May, you’ll need to catch up with my display,

Are you mad now, Ketchum? You seem pretty Red in the face.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!

Who Won? Ash Ketchum Charles Darwin