User blog:SophisticatedShark/Wiki Christmas Day 8: Santa vs Satan - Bad Rap Battle Suggestions

Hey, what's up everyone. Happy holidays I guess. So this battle is for the Wiki Christmas thing. Check out everyone else's battles, they're pretty baller. In other news, there's a change of gears. I'm making this battle the penultimate and the next one the finale. I'm trying to write a mixtape right now and I kind of want to get this battle stuff out of the way. Will it be the last BRBS? Maybe not, but I'll be on hiatus for a while. Enough with bad news though, here's the battle. It's everyone's favorite holiday symbol versus the root of all evil: Santa vs Satan

Beat



BAD RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

SATAN

VS

SAAANTAA CLAAAAUSS

BEGIN!

Santa Claus: (0:11)
Let me show you how we throw it down here in the North Pole

Forgo the goose and the roast and let’s serve a Christmas goat

So just try to light your brimstone in my kingdom of snow

You can kiss my ass like my rump’s below the mistletoe

In one go, I’ll beat your ass in one night, quickly

Cause I go down on this Grinch faster than if he was a chimney

So here’s a present, maybe it can ease the presence of your rejection

Because I guess it hurt you pretty bad when you fell down from heaven

Satan: (0:30)
Ho, ho all you want, you bourgeoisie bloat candy-coated

But we’ll see who’s still laughing once your chestnuts have been roasted

You're giving bad people rocks while I’m tormenting their fucking souls

Well ol’ Nick will be so pressured that I'll spit diamonds from your coal

I'm Lucifer. A brutal sir. To duel won't end well

Cause what's your workshop full of elves against the armies of Hell?

I’ll sever all your reindeer, then leave all of your trees blazed

Then leave this gumdrop so red that he should guide his own sleigh

Santa Claus: (0:50)
You’re pretty tense, I’m guessing that comes from the neglection from your father

But man, I’ve got raps that burn you like a verbal holy water

This Christmas, you’re finished. Dissed to the bottom of my list

You might go by many names, but they all can be summed up with “prick”

Satan: (1:00)
They should’ve sent Krampus to not cramp up on the mic

I'm on point like my horns, and that’s not just me talking pride

You should put on your little wishlist for you to spit some decent raps

So don't lecture me about being nice with naughty children on your lap

Santa Claus: (1:10)
Ugh, suffering your raps is like your ultimate penance

You’re not tough; God’s feats make your look like Dennis the Menace

But now this saint is marching in to simmer this sinning snake

Spit more bitter than winter, left stiffer than fruitcake

Satan: (1:20)
Why of course I'm full of sin, but you're the one who's disgusting me

I mean just look at yourself, you're the epitome of gluttony

You’ve got the beard of Uncle Si, and the face of a wookie

I'll shove these bars right down your throat, provided no milk and cookies

Santa Claus: (1:30)
When they said I’d face a fallen angel, I thought you’d be more scary

But your nickname is quite misleading, you’re hardly an adversary

And I've also read the Bible, you're not as evil as you claim

You only killed like ten people dude, your dad left way more slain

I'm a symbol of holly jolliness and holiday cheer

You're the symbol of virgin burning and irrational fear

People celebrate me over your brother being born, brah

Call me Charlie Daniels, send the devil running back to Georgia

Satan: (1:50)
So it seems that Tim Allen wants to step up to armageddon

I’m the reason why your shit list even has a naughty section

I’m the, you’re the king of shits and giggles

Try to deal with the devil and you’ll get played like a fiddle

It’s no riddle. I’m the rebel that no culture should ever settle

You’re no fettle with no mettle. I’m leaving this egg deviled

So I’ll be seeing you in hell, because I’ve finished this battle

Fuck Mrs. Claus, go take a bite out of these two apples

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



YOU DECIDE!!!

BAD RAP BATTLES OF HISTOORRRY Who won? Santa Claus Satan

