User blog:Reignic4/Ke$ha vs Mia Khalifa

 Blue Curtain Battles of History 

It's been four years since the last installment of this shitty web-series on this shitty fanbase called the ''Epic Rap Battles of History Wikia. ''Four fucking years. An entire generation of snot-nosed, pizza-faced kids have been able to completely finish high school (or drop out in disgrace) since the last time I've written a god forsaken rap battle. Please fucking end me, why am I even doing this?

For those of you don't remember me (rememeber remember the reignic of terror), my name is Reignic. I hate rap with a passion but am good when it comes to history. I am sexually attracted to eyebrows, so I feel obligated to publish this great piece of ass work that is the rap battle between pop sensation and mid-00s white girl rapper (or dirty hippie, I'm still not quite too sure) Ke$ha and sports commentator and eyebrow aficionado Mia Khalifa. This battle is SFW, I promise.

 KE$HA VS MIA KHALIFA Begin!  Ke$ha: 

Hot and dangerous, you really want beef between us?

Your sports commentary really sucks, so superfluous.

Don’t want to be known as a Pornstar, that’s so bizarre, such a really high bar,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">for a young girl with more mileage than my sports car!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Lookin’ at the videos, you’re really not happy

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Bendin’ over backwards for some big, black D!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Took dick for a living, now on Twitter you’re smug,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">When it’s clear that love is not your drug!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">The stage lights go on and I get to show off,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">The cameras start rolling and you get to Take it Off!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Bars like the plots in your ‘movies’, blah blah blah.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">I’ll beat you so fast, you won’t know what even hit yah!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif">Mia Khalifa: 

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">I did pornography for three months of one full year,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">But sexual abuse and assault is your whole career!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Take a look at your song titles, I’m surprised you’re a not a fluke.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">You couldn’t do a single song without Blow-ing Dr. Luke!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">How you gonna say I live for dick – your tattoo says “suck it”,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Aesthetic lying somewhere between a slut and a muppet.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Your trashy-ass pop singles got you sounding like a whore.­

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Your popularity Died Young, a pop culture Dinosaur.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">And I got around to Rainbow – God, what a chore!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Heard better music while I was fuckin’ on the floor!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Not safe for work, but this battle’s still child’s play,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Music so bad, you’re worse than iLOVEFRiDAY.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif">Ke$ha: 

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Hit or miss, I guess your disses miss, huh?

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">You had a husband, but fucking made him ditch ya!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">I’m the true Tik Tok Sensation, while you’re known across the nation,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Coochie like an infestation, crotch filled with crustacean!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Jeffe called, he got you a spot on the next Sports casting couch,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">First time trying anal the scene halted and you shouted “ouch!”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Sexual rebellion, man you’ve got that girl power –

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Wore a hijab in a threesome, girl you rode those Twin Towers!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif">Mia Khalifa: 

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Is that all you got, you frump from Fraggle Rock?

<p class="MsoNormal">Tik Tok on the clock,<span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family:"Times New Roman",serif">on the clock, go ahead and suck my cock!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Got a dollar in your name, but you’re lookin’ kind of dense,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">You should lay off all that liquor, but that’s just my two cents!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Your career is as deflated as my tit at that hockey game,

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">My pussy’s got more clicks than your songs – bitch, that’s what we call fame!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">You say I’m known for fucking, yet here you are you cunt!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif">Your raps are like my pussy – it be looking like a battlefront!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:107%;font-family: "Times New Roman",serif"> WHO WON?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">WHO'S NEXT?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE.

Who won? Mia Khalifa Ke$ha