User blog:Sixtyfour83/Bear Grylls vs John Locke



EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY



 



 

BEGIN!

Bear Grylls

Introducing the best Survivorman in all of history

Leave your ass all broken and your face all blistory and burnt

I'm the king of starting fires, call me a human lighter

Because with just one line I'll make this battle mine

I'm adaptable and brave, and quick and cunning, and sharp and good at hunting

I can survive anywhere, in just my underwear

You stay right over ther on that one fucking island that could not escape

'''Or did you escape? Where you dead the entire time> Could your writers not end the overly complicated plotline?'''



John Locke

'''Was the ending to tough for you? Did it go over your head?'''

Sorry that I can't help you, but I was too busy being dead!​

​Something that'd you know nothing about, real danger!

 ​You're an over glorified park ranger boy scout wannabe

​With your camera cre to follow you and see everything you do

And in between takes give you food so you don't have to hunt, and kill, and skin, and cook your own​

Meanwhile I do have to kill to eat

​I have to skin my meat and roast the shit

In the real Running Wild you couldn't fucking make it!

​Have you ever been shot at and stabbed at, punched and kicked, hit with shit

​Or thrown from buildings, landing on concrete

​You stand up and your feet are numb

You fall back to the ground and now your wheelchair bound

I found enlightenment on the island

​I met fat on the island

​And we went toe toe 

​I fought on that island and I gave it all I got

Amd I had allot and that's how I got where I am

​And goddamn I'm right here

And you better fear because your fate is to die right here!!

Bear Grylls

Oh please, just try!

This damn chive thinks he can strike me

I'll become the Ben of the mic

<p style="text-align:left;">Send your sorry ass back to hell twice

<p style="text-align:left;">So what you've fought a few people

<p style="text-align:left;">They all got killed anyway

<p style="text-align:left;">Did even ave anybody? No didn't think so

<p style="text-align:left;">And you call that surviving!

<p style="text-align:left;">I've been striving and thriving on the island that I live on

<p style="text-align:left;">And yes I've been in firefights and fallen from higher heights

<p style="text-align:left;">Just about 60 times as high, straight from the sky, took a back first dive

<p style="text-align:left;">Got a vertebrae cracked in three places

<p style="text-align:left;">Then I stood up and climbed the top of Mount Everest

<p style="text-align:left;">You couldn't even go on a walkabout!

<p style="text-align:left;">Just another that screams and shouts and pouts shit!

<p style="text-align:left;">You're a twat! A twit!

<p style="text-align:left;">A distraught little fellow

<p style="text-align:left;">A mellow little fuck who couldn't find the answers

<p style="text-align:left;">You worsened all your lives' for no reason

<p style="text-align:left;">An islands an island, it doesn't want anything

<p style="text-align:left;">But I bet all your friends would've given anything to be free of it

<p style="text-align:left;">But no you had to go around throwing fits and burning shit

<p style="text-align:left;">Just so you can find your destiny

<p style="text-align:left;">Fuck destiny! I make my own

<p style="text-align:left;">And I just owned your ass in this race

<p style="text-align:left;">Guess your're my version of Charlie Pace

<p style="text-align:left;">

<p style="text-align:center;">John Locke

<p style="text-align:left;">You know nothing of my island so fuck you

<p style="text-align:left;">I did the shit I had to do and followed through

<p style="text-align:left;">And by following through I got to do shit that you could never do

<p style="text-align:left;">With time travel I unravelled all the mysteries

<p style="text-align:left;">Gonna splatter this bitch throughout all of history

<p style="text-align:left;">I made a whole island disappear with the flick of a switch

<p style="text-align:left;">You and pick a switch and I'll beat your ass with it

<p style="text-align:left;">As for now Iv'e had enough with this pissing match

<p style="text-align:left;">I'mma go chillax in the hatch

<p style="text-align:left;">You can stay here and drink piss through a tube in your ass

<p style="text-align:left;">

<p style="text-align:left;">WHO WON!?

<p style="text-align:left;">WHO'S NEXT!?

<p style="text-align:left;">YOU DECIDE!

<p style="text-align:left;">EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!