User blog:Rob Tick/ERBoF S1 - The Joker vs Stewie Griffin

The Joker vs Stewie Griffin is the first episode of the first season of Epic Rap Battles of Fiction and the first overall. The track used is here (battle starts at 0:31).

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FICTION

THE JOKER

VS

STEWIE GRIFFIN

BEGIN!!

Joker:

Lighten up dude, it's not healthy to frown

Especially when you going against the king of Gotham town!

You can't destroy me, you can't expose me,

Wait till Lois finds out she got a gay baby!

You childish prick, you, with your fat double chin

You better be lucky, cuz dope flows are a sin.

Your rhymes gotta be three stars or less,

Or otherwise, off to the noosing press!

Stewie:

<p style="text-align:center;">Look, you gotta understand.

<p style="text-align:center;">I got them cereal bars, you got them struggle bars,

<p style="text-align:center;">Uh uh, we ain't probing off to Mars!

<p style="text-align:center;">Um, lighten up, you big heroin-induced fatman?

<p style="text-align:center;">I've seen a better rap climax from Batman!

<p style="text-align:center;">I feel like the future is among us, but you weren't always a loon,

<p style="text-align:center;">Your good movies were like Heath Ledger, gone too soon!

<p style="text-align:center;">For when Stewart Gilligan Griffin starts to bake rhymes from scratch,

<p style="text-align:center;">With my Mini Bake oven, you get a hot rash!

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm going full ghost on this limp dick,

<p style="text-align:center;">Your stress-ball rhymes make me sick!!

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm disgusting, I travel in a hole with Brian, motherfuckers tell Lois I'm home, I'm lying!

<p style="text-align:center;">The Road to Europe is just a mile away!

<p style="text-align:center;">You need to shut your mouth like Mitt Romney say!

<p style="text-align:center;">Joker:

<p style="text-align:center;">Well, that verse was the one to beat,

<p style="text-align:center;">But I've got another trick up my sleeve!

<p style="text-align:center;">Announcer: LEX LUTHOOOORRRRR

<p style="text-align:center;">BEGIN!

<p style="text-align:center;">Lex:

<p style="text-align:center;">No contest, to the kryptonite I'm dispensing,

<p style="text-align:center;">My rhymes give ya birth flashbacks, they so depressing!

<p style="text-align:center;">I own a monopoly, what do you do,

<p style="text-align:center;">Try and make an asshole taste better than food!

<p style="text-align:center;">Cause I want to stay and watch you get burned as the tables of rap battles have turned,

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm not hurt, the live action power I must assert!

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm the Trump  of D.C., you aren't rated PG,

<p style="text-align:center;">How bout I call yo inspiration, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie?

<p style="text-align:center;">Mr. Burns:

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm truly gonna burn all your asses to the ground,

<p style="text-align:center;">It's in my name (Boom) pass through word around!

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm broadcasting fraudcasting corporate corporation

<p style="text-align:center;">Just one party of my covert operation!

<p style="text-align:center;">It's too hard to give you the win,

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm the ultimate cartoon kingpin!

<p style="text-align:center;">Judge Doom:

<p style="text-align:center;">What's this cause of destruction and madness?

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, it's the smell of raw hide asses!

<p style="text-align:center;">You need a Jack of all trades to finish this debate,

<p style="text-align:center;">Remember fucking immigration, get through the gate!

<p style="text-align:center;">Why do your faces have such doom?

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, I forgot, Y'all just got DOOMED!!!

<p style="text-align:center;">WHO WON?

<p style="text-align:center;">WHO'S NEXT?

<p style="text-align:center;">YOU DECIDE!

<p style="text-align:center;">EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FICTION!!!!