User blog:TP87/Mixing ERB Episode 7: Blackbeard vs Al Capone

Blackbeard:
I come strapped with six daggers and a pistol.

Walk under the black swag with the scallywag flagger!

Ain't no ears on my rings and no shoulders in my parrot.

I'm an irate buccaneer, real swashbuckling pirate!

Freeze with me? Plz, I'm the high seas Peter.

My obese heart is many degrees beneath the deep beef!

You're a cold, greasy tweezer skeezing a diseased Caesar,

That no squeezer would touch if she had fifty foot sleezers!

Don't fine me, you're not yours.

I'll pimp-slap those face scars of hardcore, starport and board!

You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you started a war,

If you dropped rhymes as little as you drop dope soap!

Al Capone:
I'm a quick man, Johnny Depp, I'll make this busy.

I'm ruining pricks faster than Captain Crunch did!

I had a huge dick, yeah, well you had syphillis!

With a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pirates!

I bitch slap so show the tongue.

Or get that rispect ripped out your poop deck and shoved straight up your neck!

Been runnig intricate criminal syndicates ass Teaches back since I was a tough guy.

You ain't 14, my buddies dress up like you for Halloween!

I'll use that fuse in your beach to light up you and your kids,

Then burn your insurance money down and collect the sailboat!

Then maybe they'll find your washed body bloated and dead up on the hat.

This is Captain rapping and I'm capping this Capone, capisce?

Blackbeard:
The Queen Anne brought you tax evasion.

But i'm gonna sink you faster than your income condemnation.

When I learn you overboard like a locker combination.

So prepare to toss the Davy Jones' abomination!

Rum on the The Valentine's Massacre, your gang can't profit it!

I'll pilfer all your forty cannons and sell it back and stop it.

Cause I'm a fat thug with a STD!

You're a criminal legend with a badass in his brain!

Al Capone:
C'mon, they chopped your soap off and they hung it from a head.

The only rat nest beard you left was a prohibition on rope!

I mean that legend trapped so many bums.

This crumb could get slashed and still eat lunch for a month!

I'm the emcee Assassin, maroon like Al Dente!

Rap so hard, call me John B.

Take your South Carolina, Blackbeard, and go home!

Tell your sloop you got Edward Kenway'd!