User blog:Gliscor Fan/Similar Rap Battles of the Same: Ted Cruz vs The Zodiac Killer

Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Similar Rap Battles of the Same. We're going full meme this time around, because of DEMOCRATS, but that's entirely irrelevent. Today we have Texas Senator Ted Cruz going against infamous Undiscovered Serial Killer, Zodiac. I'm sure that Ted Cruz is just the Zodiac Killer in disguise though, but lets see what they have to say.

Onward and upward, Nerds!

INTRO
SIMILAR RAP BATTLES OF THE SAAAAAAAME!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

BATTLE
Ted Cruz:

Well hi there, thanks for comin’ down to Texas

As I prepare to have your mental state broken, as expected

Now I understand your specialties in murders, like a crow attack

But all your facts are written down in letters from the Zodiac

I may be from Canada, but I won’t be sayin’ sorry, yo

‘Cause I have more of a chance to win than Marco Rubio

I’ll leave you like the government, your raps shut down

And your skills are like Gacy, you're just a silly clown

Zodiac Killer:

Why would I give a shit about an Older Miles Teller?

You have such a way with words, I could nickname you Helen Keller

Take it from a murderer, your politics are less than stellar

Now take it like a Virgo and get locked in my cellar

I’m a modern day Ripper, just take it from Bates

When she was 18, I stabbed her in the face

And then? I started sending letters to the police

Never getting caught and ending up as a period piece

You could talk to Heriberto about my infamy

Then all of my kills will end up being history

While you throw Texas into a bottomless gorge of misery

I don’t disclose my identity, it’s shrouded in mystery

Ted Cruz:

Well darn, I guess this election has come to a close

But even I would call that speech a pretty dopey prose

But I won't bark and bite like a servile puppy dog

I run like a well oiled machine, you're just a minor cog!

Now I'm against abortion, but you killed teens and had a ball

You're such a poor sap, I should push you down the Gyllenhaal!

I don't know how you do it or who you aim to please,

But why did you call yourself the Zodiac if you aren't even Chinese?

Zodiac Killer:

Are you listening to yourself? Do you think that verse was made in heaven?

You shouldn't, since it came from a man praising porn on 9/11

That verse was so lifeless, I stabbed it 7 times

For all the irreversible damage you tried to do for mankind

We're one and the same, Ted, your positions should remain buried

I would kill a gay couple, you'd prevent them from getting married

And Marijuana being legal should be up to the state?

You're probably just high from other positions you've made

So if you try to look for me, I'd take your dad and you'll miss him

But you'll be the next possible Zodiac victim

OUTRO
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC

shing

RAP BATTLES OF BULL-

SIMILAR RAP BATTLES OF THE SAAAAAAAAAA-

POLL
Who Won? Ted Cruz The Zodiac Killer