User blog:SierraStalker/Bad Battles - Season 1 - 100 Bacon Strips vs. 1 Large Cheese Pizza

who's stupid enough to upload a battle at 4 in the morning hhahahaha me of course

Hey, you guys! It's SierraStalker. A couple months ago, I created this series concept called Bad Battles, which is a series in which you give intentionally/unintentional and just bad matchups, and I do my best to turn it into something actually good. I have the majority of the series planned out, but there isn't enough votes on any other battles. Season 2 is halfway planned. Please go vote there so I can plan the rest of the series.

Either way, I have started Season 1. Here's the first battle, 100 Bacon Strips vs. 1 Large Cheese Pizza. Enjoy. :)

Quick Shoutouts!
I'd like to thank Conner and Trent for helping me at the very end when I was getting frustrated in the writing process.

I'd also like to give a huge thank you to Noah for making this completely unnecessary iTunes cover. I don't really need them, but he was bored, so I asked for this. Thank you! :D

Lyrics
BAD BATTLES!

100 BACON STRIPS!

VS!

1 LARGE CHEESE PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAA!

BEGIN!

LCP starts at 0:11.

Large Cheese Pizza
You better listen up, piggies! I suggest you up and scramble,

for this family favorite dish is much too large for you to handle!

I’m a delicious delight, while you just mess with mankind’s arteries.

And unlike you, when I’m consumed, I don’t give people diabetes!

I’m Little Caesar-ing the other foods by company chains.

Your greasy fats are just no match for all my glorious grains!

So just stay out of my way, for when I conquer it all,

One by one, like Dominos, every bacon strip will fall.

100 Bacon Strips
Who called for this asshole? This must be some kind of prank.

You’re an even bigger weenie than a hot dog labeled Frank!

As for all your pizzerias, every single floor is dusty.

The employees, just as much as you, are quite creepily crusty.

Your cheesy lines don’t phase me, and I don’t think that they will.

Sit in a freezer for 4 months, I’ll let you take a breath and chill.

Give up, you culinary cockwaffle. You lose. It’s just fate.

Besides, your lines would probably come to you a half hour too late.

Large Cheese Pizza
The only burns you’re giving out are of the muscles in the heart.

Don’t pretend like you’re a big deal. All would rather eat a Poptart.

I’m crazy good, you’re awful, and you need to face the facts.

You are the UNIVERSAL SYMBOL of people getting fat

My raps are full force, you still sound like you’re preheating.

Sounds to me like a rap lesson is what you’re all really kneading.

I'll run you over so fast like my deliverer’s car.

Lyrically slaughter your scraps like the plump piggy you are.

100 Bacon Strips
Sit back and just watch. This meal time will be Epic.

You’re like the knock-off cereal you find at stores: generic.

It’s safe to say that you’ve bitten off more than you could have chewed.

People only call for you when they don’t feel like making real food!

I’m afraid you’ve gotten served. You may now admit defeat.

I’ll admit that after all this hype that victory is sweet.

We’re great, like greased back hair, and you’re nastier than cornrows.

Bitch, you’re not even delivery, thank GOD you’re not Digiorno’s! WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

THAT'S ALREADY BEEN DECIDED!

SIERRASTALKER'S BAD BATTLES!

Poll
Who won? 1 Large Cheese Pizza 100 Bacon Strips