User blog:GIR 5 life/Seymour Krelborn vs Dr. Horrible- GIR's Rap Battles of Infrequency?

Intro: On the fourteenth day in the month of February, in an early year of a decade considerably farther away from our own at the time of this being written, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced; as such enemies often do, in the most seemingly innocent, and unlikely, of places...

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF SINGLES DAY

door slams open

It’s the middle of the night, Wh-what are you doin in here?

SEYMOUR KRELBORN

VS

Listen, stay out of my way, or by God, I’ll freeze your balls to kingdom come. So hand over the plant, I have a Valentines casual yogurt friend date to attend to.

DR HORRIBLEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Never! I’m not letting this problem spread outside of Skid Row! You’ll take Twooey over my dead body!

BEGIN!

Seymour:

Starting a skirmish on Skid Row? This skeevy stalker’ll get devoured!

I’ll Joss the strife filled love life of this Adult Doogie Howser.

Closed this Villain’s script for Renovation; S-sorry semi sadists!

But if you can sit through a near hour Love Triangle…. Then, uh, I’m sure you guys can make it…;

Through me applying dirt with Caring Hands, and asking him to Grow;

So he doesn’t crash when he knows that his depressed status IS quo.

Head out, Billy Buddy! Cause even if you jack more Wonder-Flow-Nium;

There’s g-gonna be another spatter of little red dots all over the linoleum.

Dr. Horrible:

Your Faustian nonsense is exhausted! The populace doesn’t want to Seymour!

That’s why when I kill you AND the beat, the League’ll let me in for sure!

So Moisture Buddy, grab the camera! We’ve got a brand new crime to vlog…

“SAVAGE ROAST IN LITTLE SHOP LAY’S WASTE TO SHMUCKS AND THEIR GREENE THOTS!”

When you embraced your cheesy core, man you seemed to be a novice chemist!

So why’s the most realistic romance with the foreman and the oedipal tenant?!

And if you’re watching, Bad Horse; behold! My Evil MUST be on the Rise;

Cause I just reopened the wounds of a cutter who claims he ‘Did it for the Vine!” ‘’(Haha!)’’

‘’(Dr. Horrible reaches for his Freeze Ray, but suddenly, the mouth of Audrey 2 opens up, causing the Doctor to fumble with the gun in his hands for a moment before the device clatters to the ground. Audrey smirks, picks up the gun with their vine, spins it in a circle a couple of times while chuckling, and then begins to rap)’’

Audrey II: Oooh! Seymour, you didn’t tell me that you had dentist leftover! Pretty nifty gadget, man; I think I’ll make some Frozen Yogurt. Emulating ya Emmy highjack when I contribute to this groove; You’ll WISH this shit stopped at Act 2 after I come for you!

You move like a…human! Punk, I’m more animate then your supporting cast!

And you….talk! Noooooo SHIT, Sherlock?Nice Guys™ DO catch on last!

Spore giggles

Did the writers for your Mega Mind ass strike out again? Oooh, Tough Titty, sweet pea~ But you ain’t got material for a sequel, let alone enough meat to FEED ME! 86’in this ‘lil bitch reeeeal quick like; Eclipsing a Somminex-esque sucker. I reflect your shoddy shots, brother! I’m a Mean, Green Motherfucker! Growl Shit, all these rhymes threw off Suppertime. Oooh, I’ve got an idea… Hope you can find a Brand New Day somewhere else; BYE BYE FELICIA! ‘’(tiny bell above the door rings as Penny steps in)’’ Billy? ‘’(Without another word Audrey chomps down on the cinnamon roll, too pure for this world, violently chomping as she tried to kick her way out. But with one huge gulp, Billy’s crush was gone)’’ ‘’’*BELCH*’’’ ‘’(shattering sound to represent Dr. Horrible’s heart breaking, edgy)’’ Dr. Horrible: I can’t Believe My Eyes; a jiving flytrap just snuffed out my loves light; Krelborn, ask for your dollar ninety five back, cause….. I am fine. You’ve spread to every US household? Now I KNOW humankinds insane! Produce a Mutant Enemy for me to oppose, and I knock ‘em off Off-Broadway! All your spores are singing “Up Yours! Ma, you’re getting straight up murdered!” And they’re absolutely correct; I’m experienced with crashing servers. If all this Plant’s packing is sarcasm; wow! They’re more derivative than I thought. You gotta sift through at least Four scripts, Top’s, to even reach their actual plot! Oz makes you seem at odds with yourself; your string pulling shtick is Slipping... Keep your predecessor’s namesake fitting, Twooey; Submit to your new King! So They may Say “No!!! Don’t Feed the Plant!” But I DESERVE this happy ending... Go eat my Hammer of a dick, miffed Triffid; I won’t feel ……..a thing. OH SHIT! WHO WO- ‘’*Record Scratch*’’ ‘’CHOMPING, WITH MUFFLED SCREAMING’’ ‘‘’BURP’’’ What, did you think the focus group got to me this time? Hell no, I just busted his goddam balls off! ‘’(Seymour Whimpers, massively shocked by the rapid series of horrible events)’’ Ey, Seymour? Try to bring me someone a little less….lively next time. ‘’(Audrey Laughs, as Seymour still sits, shivering)’’ WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE EPIC ‘’*SOUND OF A HEART BEATING LOUDLY, FOLLOWED BY A FLATLINE*’’ RAP BATTLES OF SINGLES DAYYYYYYYYY ‘’AUDREY 2 BURSTS THROUGH THE LOGO’’

And you tell that Flowey twerp, that I’m commin’ for his poser ass!

Who won?

Seymour w/ Audrey II

Dr. Horrible

Parting Words: Happy singles day everyone! Thanks to skeep for the bomb ass cover. Make sure to check his channel, it's the best you can get currently for fanmades :3 See you 4/13  tumut