User blog:Quinnmurray/Dr. Phil vs. Ernest Hemingway (With a twist)

This is sort of like Trump vs. Scrooge. It is mostly Hemingway versus his demons like Scrooge with Dr. Phil getting a verse like Trump did. Hemingway had mental problems when he got older and Dr. Phil is a pyschologist, so that is why I chose the pairing. THIS ISN'T A RELIGIOUS BATTLE! I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE! And please don't hate. I tried my best.

Dr. Phil- EpicLLOYD

Ernest Hemingway- Nice Peter

The Angel- iisuperwomanii

The Devil- Zach Sherwin

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

DR. PHIL

VS.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

BEGIN Dr. Phil It's showtime Hemingway. This will be a changing day in your life.

You won't care anyway. You'll be too busy divorcing wives.

I'm shifting into overdrive. Gonna beat this beardy guy.

My skills will have this layered indivual skived.

We are both old men, see? But there's one contrast.

You shriveled up in Cuba, but I can still kick ass.

You said Farewell to your Arms after you wrote your last book.

Then you drank a lot of alcohol. Man you got hooked!

You took a giant shit on your final stages of your career.

But your body language I am reading makes this battle finally clear.

Your degrading and sudden demise was indeed sad.

But I will make you look like a bitch just like your mother had!

Ernest Hemingway
Oh God! Am I up now?

Can I beat this man? If so, how?

Wow! His verse ended very quickly.

Oh Dear, I am feeling quite sickly.

So many questions. What should I do?

The Angel
Listen to me?

Ernest Hemingway
Who are you?

The Angel
Why I'm the Angel! I am the good side of your conscience.

This quote doctor is nothing but nonsense!

You are the best writer this world's ever seen.

You could sink his ass faster than a German submarine.

You are going to take shit from him? Please!

After listening to me, he'll be down on his knees.

This man is nothing but a dork I say.

Dr. Phil is nothing compared to the man Hemingway!

The Devil
Don't listen to her! She's the antagonist!

Ernest Hemingway
Who is this one?

The Devil
Who me? I'm her advocate.

Trust me. I know a lot more than this Gandalf the White.

If you want a real reapping pit bull, then I know how to bite.

Call me Eminem because I've been rapping in hell.

And if you listen to the Angel, it won't end well.

The Angel
Don't listen to him. He is the Devil!

The Devil
She is just jealous she is not on my level.

The Angel
No I'm not!

The Devil
Yes you are!

The Angel
Am not!

The Devil
Are too!

The Angel
Am not!

Ernest Hemingway
Shutup! I am done with both of you.

I know what to say.

You are pesky idiots. So get out of my way.

And as for the Oprah wannabe

Do you really think you can beat me?

I have a higher sovereignty. I'm a monopoly.

You can barely pass pyschology.

Can't mess with me. My books are a symphony

Every sentence in them are performed brilliantly.

I have validity and consistency. You only have publicity.

But your son, your father, your sisters, your daughter, your mother

they love 'em all the Hemingway novels.

I wrote Old Man and the Sea with a mental limp and a hobble.

I'm a role model. You solve old people problems.

WHO WON? WHO"S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!!

(Two smaller ERB logos bickering a bigger one in the middle)

EPIC! EPIC! EPIC! RAP! RAP! RAP! BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!