User blog:Rockerdude22/Rockerdude's Rap Battles: Captain Kirk vs. Luke Skywalker

Captain of the Enterprise James Tiberius Kirk clashes with Jedi Master Luke Skywalker to determine who is the better sci-fi hero. Who wins? You decide!

Captain Kirk:

James Tiberius Kirk here, I’m captain of the Enterprise

At my hands, this blonde-haired bitch is gonna meet his demise

I hook up with hot alien women and you kissed your own sister

I spit burns so hot, Vader won’t be the only one who looks crisper

I’ve traveled the stars, gone where none have gone before

While you’re too busy fighting stupid pointless wars

You’re just a whiny little brat with daddy issues

Stop crying boy, here, have yourself some tissues



Luke Skywalker:

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away

A tight-shirt wearing captain reached the end of his days

Let’s try your little gun against my mighty lightsaber

Take some speech lessons, please, it’ll do us all a favor

<p class="MsoNormal">I may have kissed my sister, but I heard you like to spoon with Spock

<p class="MsoNormal">My rhymes are so cold, I leave you chillier than Hoth

<p class="MsoNormal">Star Trek? Ha! More like Star Dreck!

<p class="MsoNormal">This battle is a chess game, and I’m keeping you in check

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Captain Kirk:

<p class="MsoNormal">Get a clue kid, your rapping really stinks

<p class="MsoNormal">I would have had a better fight with Jar Jar Binks

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m a captain, do you even have a title?

<p class="MsoNormal">After the prequels came out, your franchise was hurtin’ for a while

<p class="MsoNormal">My whole crew would have no problem taking on your gang

<p class="MsoNormal">That’s a big weapon you got, are you hiding something about your wang?

<p class="MsoNormal">I just gave you a galactic beatdown and put you to work

<p class="MsoNormal">Next time, think before challenging Captain James T. Kirk

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Luke Skywalker:

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re crew couldn’t beat us, we have the Force on our side

<p class="MsoNormal">You’ll see that when the Millennium Falcon goes against your puny Enterprise

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m a Jedi Master, and you just keep throwing a big fuss

<p class="MsoNormal">Why else do you think Abrams left you and joined us?

<p class="MsoNormal">You ain’t tough Kirk, you wear a hideous-looking toupee

<p class="MsoNormal">Unlike yours, my saga will never die, and it’s here to stay

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll shove my light saber up your ass, and leave you with burning scars

<p class="MsoNormal">Rest in peace Jimmy boy, I just won this war among the stars

Who won? Captain Kirk Luke Skywalker