User blog:The Jonie/Epic Rap Battles of Everything: Sam Houston vs Davy Crockett

Sup motherfuckers. Welcome to the most half-assed shit you can ever find on Wikia.​ So, every Saturday I'll try to make a battle. So, relax and hear this terrible shit.

Let's see the cast:

George Watsky as Davy Crockett.

EpicLLOYD as Sam Houston.

Nice Peter as Alamo warriors.

Dante Cimadamore as the Shooter

Zach Sherwin as Walt Disney (reused footage, cameo)

Let's fucking begin, shall we?

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EVERYTHING

DAVY CROCKETT

VERSUS

SAM HOUSTON

BEGIN!!!!!1!!

Sam Houston
Imma Texas Master, hit you with my pistol blaster

Run away faster like you did from your parents

I'm from Houston's name, ditched Tennessee for some more fame

So you better make this quick, so there's nobody to blame

Imma kick this wild cookskin on the damn streets

It took me 18 minutes to dice up some Mexican meat.

You wanna try me? Your personality is fake.

And imma scoop up some some Nashville bits with a rake

Because beating you is just a piece of cake!

So shut the fuck up Dave, you can't beat me

And you only got famous because of Walt Disney!

Davy Crockett
I'm a raccoon Titan.

Spitting hot blue fire rhymes like Poseidon.

Why did you leave Tennessee?

You could have been the governor you needed to be!

Everybody in Texas is a Coen Brothers character!

Took too much crack and fucked up in the head

If you wanna mess with me I'll leave you like a bear (Dead!)

(Oh)! Don't hit me with your cane on Penny-vania Avenue! (Yeah!)

Because you'll do anything Andrew Jackson will tell you to! (Wha?)

Stay away from Crockett or you might lock it!

Watch me take your shit and make it a profit!

Sam Houston
These beats are making me bore to death!

Your personality is Davy Jones on meth.

So rap these you dumb shitbag!

You'd look more prettier if you were a ripped up rag!

Davy Crockett
I fought in the war of 1812.

Your a racist demon born and raised in hell.

It's hard to take some criticism on the inner you.

But you cuss, yell, and you get mad too.

Sam Houston
Man, your judging is worst then your cologne.

Settle it in the Alamo, and take (Down!) (The!) (Tone!)

I'm an idol, your a fake, you can't touch this!

So quit being a baby and take the piss!

You should have stayed a Congressman, you could have been alive!

Crawl up in your treehouses take a high dive!

I'm out to sue random people with William Wirt!

Davy Crockett
He said take the piss but he ran off!

He's a pussy version of David Hasselhoff!

But eh! Everything is just fine!

Now imma leave and drink some re-

Shooter
FUCK YOU! *shoots Davy Crockett*

I shot that raccoon bitch to toast!

WHO WON?

WHOS NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC R-R-R RAP BATLES OF EVERYTHINGGGG!

So yeah. BYE MOTHERFUCKERS