User blog:Iamthelegion/Legolas vs The Nerevarine

EYYYY THIS SERIES IS BACK! LYRICAL ELDER SCROLLS BROTHAAAAAA! GIMME A WOOT! (not an actual endorsement) Today we have a battle that was guessed and second guessed by that dude Alanomaly, between the Nerevarine, reincarnate of Indoril Nerevar, and Legolas, Lord of the Household of Thranduil, to see which eternal elf will better carry on the torch of those before them. Contains some p serious The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind spoilers so if you intend to play it, which I would recommend especially if you can get it as cheap as I did ($10 firsthand, yeeee). Miss chance is annoying and I kinda wish I'd worked that into this battle but oh well. To be quite frank but not quite CE, I wrote this like a ton of months ago so it's not entirely amazing, but I enjoyed the re-read as I hope you all will as well.

Legolas is dat dude played by dat dude from pirates of the gulf of mexico but in lord of the rings, and Nerevarine is the player character from Morrowind, likely the only dude I'd have repping Morrowind, RIP.

Thanks to SpelunkingZebra the Kiwi for the cover art though it was a SIGNIFICANT while back it still is better than this whole battle and damn does it look fine.

I will try to try to get out Robert the Bruce vs Urdnot Wrex and Batman vs Archangel as well as writing and getting out Edward Elric vs Kaidan Alenko and Maelon Heplorn (soz if you misread as Hellporn) vs Dr Bright out soon because Quagga also do a art for those.

These don't have title cards because my main computer has sucked a duck, I can't for the life of me figure out how to effectively use Photoshop (like how the everloving suck do you resize objects? and then text stopped working, ugh, screw dat noise) and while online tools can be good I just couldn't find one that did text in any practical way and besides I couldn't get Dovah'Zul or New Cicle on them anyways, so, no title cards or outro, though hopefully Batman vs Archangel and Robert vs Wrex will have them because I did actually make those... and I think I have a Katniss and Legolas one but screw that.

Lyrics in Italics are Nerevarine mocking Legolas by impersonating his voice, (C) is a cameo by Caius Cosades (would colour edit but lazy and idk what to colour him, also hey I guess I am using another Morrowind character), lyrics in "apostrophes" are a Frodo cameo I think? Like I said, long time ago, might just be emphasizing the light of Elendil pouring out or smth.

Anyways, as always please ask me if you don't get a line as I'm sure you might not and enjoy this!

The Battle:
lel insert dragonscript here if i ever get title cards

LYRICAL ELDER SCROLLS I guess I don't really know anymore

Nerevarine:

Here's a diss that'll hit right between the eyes

What's a novice archer after Master Thief and Master Spy?

I see a B-Grade Katniss earning the scorn of his daddy

(C) Slay the last of the Forest House! (N) Gladly.

I bring Big Houses down, you drop a couple orcs

B-but they got stronger! Then bring in real force!

I'm a top-notch warlock, you'd need a Necroman-seer

To resurrect your pride and give you a chance here!

In the Fighter's Guild, they call me Exterminator

Cuz I mow through Altmer like they're made of paper!

Shattered a Tribunal and now a Fellowship's on its head

And feel free to kill me, Indoril is sure to rise again!

Legolas:

Ho! It's Legolas, Prince of the Greenwoods!

Sniping ugly trolls like this child in my neighborhood!

You're common prison scum who thinks to play with Azeroth

Or Molag Bol, Boethiah, Azura, whatever you call "the boss"

I'll decimate your cult with but one pull from the quiver

Leaving Dragonborn here with more par-snips to deliver!

I'll debunk your prophecy fast as cursed kings' dread

My rhymes are so full-bodied, they moonlight as Lamnas bread!

Dashed out Sauron's All-Seer, you'd look well with an eyepatch

As judging by your mishmash you're hoping big Sheo likes that

You have my bow! Now you can swallow your pride and take a bow

Or face pain from tiny blades like the Legion's brought out!

Nerevarine:

Bah! What was that? It's a battle rap, not a prattle trap

Next thing, House Redoran will be asking for their cattle back!

I'd liken you to mudcrabs, because in a pinch you're dirt!

Why don't you go tell the Dwemer Strut you're feeling hurt?

Legolas:

Hurt? My protective flow is woven so, hard as Mithril!

And it has a Sting as I light the truth, like "Elendil!"

No-one cares about your game, you're two generations behind.

You'd need a Battle of Five Houses to step up to mine.

Outro:
I'm not even going to try and pretend anything here, if I do any more of these, they'll be Lucien Lachance vs Ra's Al Ghul, and then whatever I have suggested. If I see any impotus, I'll try and continue this on, after all, I do still love the heck outta The Elder Scrolls, and I do have all of the five main games, and no battle at all to do with Daggerfall even planned. And there's so much content in all the various games and a lot of potential to use it against external sources that I would love to do more with this, if there is any attention.

Batman vs Garrus and Robert vs Wrex hopefully soon, and I only just realized that the only remaining ones with art by Quagga are all MERC battles so you can expect more of those soon. I definitely have the lyrics for Batman vs Garrus though the ones for Robert vs Wrex I haven't been able to find, rippppp.

Batman vs Garrus hype then I guess. Time to dig up and update that old nav.... wow from way back when I actually had navs, before I went all Lazytown.

Who won? Legolas Greenleaf The Nerevarine