User blog:Rob Tick/ERBoF S1 - Tarzan vs Zorn

Tarzan vs Zorn is the second episode of the first season of Epic Rap Battles of Fiction and the second overall.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FICTION

TARZAN

VS

ZORN

BEGIN

Tarzan:

The unique barbarian here to burn your ass,

Worse than your pie ruined your Thanksgiving day bash!

You ripoff He-Man cock you look like a fucking grape,

King of this rap, also king of the apes!

I'm carried on a plane,

Banging sexy Jane!

You got dumped by your wife,

Now I'm questioning if you're sane!

This battle is getting owned by the real og,

<p style="text-align:center;">So magical, I was hired by Disney!

<p style="text-align:center;">Zorn:

<p style="text-align:center;">Look, your petty ass won't see me,

<p style="text-align:center;">Assassinating apemen like a bride-to-be!

<p style="text-align:center;">When I take up my sword, I show to be furious,

<p style="text-align:center;">Until I rip off my shirt, um, you curious?

<p style="text-align:center;">America needed me to make it great again,

<p style="text-align:center;">Just go home, I might even think to drop off your friend!

<p style="text-align:center;">When the Defender of Zephyria comes after this bitch,

<p style="text-align:center;">My sword will draw right through your-- (CAW)

<p style="text-align:center;">It's almost time to start your second verse,

<p style="text-align:center;">I'll have no problems if it's less dope than the first!

<p style="text-align:center;">Tarzan:

<p style="text-align:center;">What the fuck is that belt on your waist?

<p style="text-align:center;">Looking like a George of the Jungle Bill Gates!

<p style="text-align:center;">I feel your disses aren't as good as they could be,

<p style="text-align:center;">Tell Craig that I'm busy with Edie!

<p style="text-align:center;">You're a disgrace to Fox, but you will have a second season?

<p style="text-align:center;">I don't even get their fucking type of reason!

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm the flawless hero and savior,

<p style="text-align:center;">You work 8 hours a day, like goddamn slave labor!

<p style="text-align:center;">Tell Alan I said hi,

<p style="text-align:center;">Time for another one of your weak ass rhymes!

<p style="text-align:center;">Zorn:

<p style="text-align:center;">You can't touch me,

<p style="text-align:center;">You bitchy barbarian!

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm filling up this Tubman like Harriet!

<p style="text-align:center;">Your rhymes are so soft, even an arrow could go through it!

<p style="text-align:center;">Man, I'm a legend, Zephyrian pick,

<p style="text-align:center;">Better run away before I slice your dick!

<p style="text-align:center;">WHO WON?

<p style="text-align:center;">WHO'S NEXT?

<p style="text-align:center;">YOU DECIDE!!!!

<p style="text-align:center;">EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FICTION