User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS Season 2: Allan Quartermain vs Fu Manchu

Hello my fairies! Today I'm bringing you a battle of colonialism between the fabled 19th century explorer (yes he's legally considered a fable) Allan Quartermain and the archtype of the evil genius, Fu Manchu (and yes he's also considered a fable). Credits go to Brandon and my chiseler Legion for proofreading, if I forgot anyone please tell me in the comments so I can add you guys. Also thanks go to the immortal Leandro for the fabulous cover. Allan and Manchu are both a bit obscure so I'll link some of the references. Let's drop this.

Lyric Colors
 Alan Quartermain is this color

 Fu Manchu is this color

 Charlie Chan (speaking cameo) is this color

Hans Hottentot (regular cameo)

Beat
Eat Em Up

Lyrics
==='''Allan Quartermain: Starts at 0:13 '''===  Hello my dear savage! I’m known as the great Allan Quartermain!

 I wish to connect our two worlds! I’ll even let you build the train!

 For if I let you keep control of your empire, we’re going to have a problem!

 Because I’ve seen saner guano pop out an exotic bat’s bottom!

 Uh! You aren’t fit to take charge! Though it ain’t hard,

 Draining your bank on Scooby Doo schemes

 I mean, I must be stronger if you need to rely on white slavery!

 Ooh! I put the Hot in Hottentot and you must be all top,

 to get socked by a Sherlock rip off named Denis!

   If you can hire a wife, then why not a dentist?

 Your crash at the box office must’ve surely spread Blood!

<p class="MsoNormal"> You cut out other men’s hearts because you’ll never hold love!

<p class="MsoNormal"> So if you or your Charlie Chans take a step near my women,

<p class="MsoNormal"> You’ll get fucked alright, by what’s cocked and coming! ==='''Fu Manchu: Starts at 0:50 '''=== <p class="MsoNormal"> It would be kind of you to kill me with a weapon of none finer

<p class="MsoNormal"> Oh wait, put it down, check the butt, it’ll say: Made in China

<p class="MsoNormal"> And did you buy your rhymes from a trader? If so, I’ll have you know,

<p class="MsoNormal"> They’re just scraps of mine I give my sweatshop workers to sew

<p class="MsoNormal"> How can you support your country, if they couldn’t save your son?

<p class="MsoNormal"> I’ll have your diseased throat choking on Eastern dope when I’m done!

<p class="MsoNormal"> My name is Manchu! (F-U) Rockin’ Ramrods in this fool

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:right6.0in"> I’ve seen faster colonizers when I’m playing Civilization II

<p class="MsoNormal"> You preserve native culture but you drive their pets to extinction

<p class="MsoNormal"> It’s clear your author based your death off his banks: endless bleeding

<p class="MsoNormal"> I’m a Shaka to audiences, don’t need an elixir for immortality!

<p class="MsoNormal"> While you’re only known for killing the career of Sean Connery! ==='''Alan Quartermain: Starts at 1:30 '''=== <p class="MsoNormal"> Hans take note, that’s one flow you shouldn’t follow,

<p class="MsoNormal"> Or you’ll face a life of crime, dead wives, and sorrow!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Just your very existence alone in an insult to your country!

<p class="MsoNormal"> I’ll leave you hanging on my mantle, you can’t crack this Alanomaly ==='''Fu Manchu: Starts at 1:41 '''=== <p class="MsoNormal"> Even if you could find a gold rhyme, Curtis would be heir to your fame,

<p class="MsoNormal"> And while you got a deer’s carcass on your back, I’m on top of my game!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Shame! If your flow got any dryer you could blow my Fu Manchu!

<p class="MsoNormal"> And I’ll leave your body more broke, than if Indiana Jones sued!

Who Won?

Who's Next?

You Decide!

MYTHICAL

the logo is shot and it staggers back

battles...of historical........

it crumples in on itself

shit.



Poll
Who Won? Allan Quartermain Fu Manchu

Scrapped Lyrics
<p class="MsoNormal"> Allan Quartermain:

<p class="MsoNormal"> They call me <span style="color:#943634;mso-themecolor:accent2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black; mso-highlight:black">ALAN Quartermain! <span style="color:#943634;mso-themecolor:accent2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black; mso-highlight:black">ALAN nomaly <span style="color:#943634;mso-themecolor:accent2;mso-themeshade:191;background:black; mso-highlight:black">ALAN ding the A-bomb!

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal"> I’ll beat this wheat-beater, the only sexless Caesar

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal"> You’ll be cut and burned when western civilization has expanded,

<p class="MsoNormal"> How can your insects exist when the A-Bomb has landed?

<p class="MsoNormal"> Fu Manchu:

<p class="MsoNormal"> I will crack this Alanomaly

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal"> For once it’s a complement to not make your League!

<p class="MsoNormal"> -

<p class="MsoNormal"> I will blow you apart like you stepped on a King Solomon mine!