User blog:Avatar XIII/The Flesh vs Sanic 4

Haha, I don't know what reality is anymore. Let's write a battle!

Battle
[Title cards pending]

GO!

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Can’t beat me now cause Sonic’s going first!

Prepare for death Flashie. I’m putting you in a hearse

I’ve heard worse from Rouge, she has big boobs

Knuckles’ hands are too big to fit into her-

Knuckles the Echidna:
Hey! What the fuck? Why you gotta rat me out like that?

Stupid stork, you’re a twat, you brat!

When I’m done with you, you’ll go splat

I’m gonna go tell Amy you called her fat

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Not if I tell her first!

[Sonic runs away]

Miles “Tails” Prower:
Ok, that plan doesn’t make any sense at all

Why would Sonic make himself take the fall?

Something here doesn’t add up. Maybe I should call-

Knuckles the Echidna:
Figures he wouldn’t want to face me. Dude has no balls

Miles “Tails” Prower:
Coming from the guy who isn’t even an assist trophy

Knuckles the Echidna:
Grrrr, I’m angry but I don’t know what rhymes with trophy

My intelligence is a catastrophe?

Miles “Tails” Prower:
That’s not how you pronounce it.

Knuckles the Echidna:
Who cares? I’m the coolest!

Shadow the Hedgehog:
Actually, that’s me. Who do you think you’re fooling?

When my game was released, all the ladies started drooling

I’m so edgy, I split atoms with my schooling!

Uhhh, thinking of these is getting kinda grueling...

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Hey! You’re that faker! You’re here for Amy, you can’t take her!

Shadow the Hedgehog:
Too late, she’s already on my spiky hedgehog laser!

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Amy, how could you betray me like this?

Amy Rose:
Sorry Sonic, Shadow’s black stick is way more thick

He’s quick, and I’m a chick that clicks with slick ricks

I kick and lick bricks. It’s my schtick!

Thwip!

The Flash:
Wally, close your eyes! You’re too young to hear this stuff

Who knew this delicate flower liked it so rough?

Kid Flash:
You kidding? I can’t get enough

The Flash:
The fuck is wrong with you? You need to see a shrink?

Kid Flash:
No way! Hedgehog porno is kind of my kink

Jay Garrick:
Ok, I’m too old for this shit

Call me back when you’re done being sick

Kid Flash:
Wait, before you go, I have something to say

If I want to get with Knuckles, does that make me gay?

[Jay runs away]

Maybe my feelings were too much for Jay

The Flash:
Don’t worry Wally, Flash is here to save the day

You see, in life there’s the birds and the-

Barry Benson:
Bees! Barry B Benson brings belated bee burns

Bunching bitches buzzing briskly breaking ferns

Impulse:
Crash! That didn’t start with a B!

Get out of here you fuck, yuck, get away from me!

Barry Benson:
Become beautiful but berate bold Barry Benson?

Barely bury Barry before buying blows bloat blessing!

Amy Rose:
Oooh, you have such a way with words Barry

Show me your big thing so we can get scary

The Flash:
O k a y ! Hey, she was talking to me!

Barry Benson:
I disagree. She wants the bee!

The Flash:
Let’s race! First one to the finish line get’s the spike!

Silly little bee, go take a hike!

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Now you’re speaking my language. Let’s go you dykes!

I’m that fastest thing alive, just like my bike!

Barry Benson:
Bee movie trailer, but every time I win, I get a kite

Miles “Tails” Prower:
I just do not understand this fight

Knuckles the Echidna:
Then lemme see if I can explain this right

Tails, we’re about to have a battle of great plight

And the winner of the race gets into Amy’s pipes (Ew.)

Shadow the Hedgehog:
I’ve been betrayed! Time to reclaim what’s mine

I’ll show you fakers why I’m scarier than R.L. Stine!

Anyone else want to challenge my shrine?

Kid Flash:
Ah what the hell, might as well beat my best time

Shadow the Hedgehog:
Stay out of this. Only animals allowed

No one’s seen a sword as long as mine since Cloud!

Kid Flash:
I’m an animal too! Homo sapiens are loud!

Call me Vegeta, cause, you know, I’m so proud?

Impulse:
I’m not gonna be moded, I’m getting an Impulse to race!

Alright Amy, prepare for me to sit on your face!

Amy Rose:
Aww, how sweet, you boys are so romantic

I haven’t had this much fun since I fucked Sanic

Sonic the Hedgehog:
You slut!

Amy Rose:
Hey! Don’t judge me!

Sonic the Hedgehog:
You slut!

Miles “Tails” Prower:
I’m gonna sit this one out, this is a little too much

I don’t wanna see Amy get double dutched

I’ll officiate since everyone else is out of touch

Maybe when this is all over, you’ll call me Mr. Clutch

Alright, on your marks, get set-

The Flash:
Wait! Someone needs to wave the checkered flag

You can’t get from the start to finish, you frag!

(Frag?)  Well, I can’t say the other word, or I’ll be put in the slammer

Gotta avoid giving Avatar XIII the good ol’ fandom ban hammer!

Anyways, we still need a flag waver

And Amy’ll need a shaver ;)

Who’s gonna do it?

Shia LaBeouf:
Do it!

Shadow the Hedgehog:
A cannibal! There’s only one way to fight him off

You guys race for the V while I turn him into drops

Jay Garrick:
[Jay comes back]

That don’t make a lick of sense, but okay

I’ll be the flag waver for you boys today!

Kid Flash:
Thanks Uncle Jay!

The Joker:
All of you go away