Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers/Rap Meanings

The Western Philosophers:
I'm coming off the acropolis to start some pandemonium.

(Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. Pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.)

Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium.

The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention.

(Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses)

Rolling with the flyest nihilist, and me, their French henchman.

(Nietzsche and Voltaire are introducing themselves. A nilhilist is a part of Nihilism which is the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated.)

We got the wisdom, and the wit, that even I couldn't question!

(As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team got wisdom)

Dropping Western medicine, on these East infections!

(Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the East philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is a vaginal illness.)

It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren!

We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men!

The Eastern Philosophers:
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected,

(The Eastern Philosophers were expecting the Western Philosophers to boast as they just did, the reason is explained in the next line.)

From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is.

(They believe the Western team are disrespectful which makes them unwise.)

You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life,

(Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life and have everything balanced)

You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic.

(As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to East, and the same goes when West is rapping. Lack of mic control in rap terms is having bad bars)

While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration.

(Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important part during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle)

Hand you an ass-ripping our descendants will honor for generations.

(Honoring one's ancestors is one of the basis of Confucius' teachings. Here he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won the rap battle)

We built a nation, with the patience, and the presence for living.

and you’ll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written.

(East claims that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has wrote, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and the Art of War.)

The Western Philosophers
Oh, I’ll give you something you can bow and kautau to,

("Kautau (叩頭)" or "kou tou (磕頭)" is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that Lao Tzu will have no choice but respect, continued in the next line.)

When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!

(The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosohpy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, or shit, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu and win the battle.)

You need to take control of the life you’re given!

Call me Übermensch, 'cause I'm so driven!

("Übermensch" is a concept created by Nietzsche. It's German for "beyond-human". In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra, Nietzsche uses the concept to discuss the idea that humanity should try to improve itself, and that, according to him, would include abandoning all religious beliefs. Since Lao Tzu's teachings form the basis of a religion, Nietzsche is basically rejecting them. It may also be a pun on "Uber", an American international transportation network company, hence why Nietzsche said the line "'cause I'm so driven".)

'''And I’m a freethinker so confronting conformists like you? It’s my job!'''

Got a sharp wit, like a spit that’ll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebob!

(Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name. )

(Oh!) You flunked the mission at beating your submissiveness into submission!

Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays that been publish-ed!

Now that we’ve covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move onto Jackie Chan.

(Yin Yang is used in Confuciusm (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). Sun Tzu in this line is compared with action star, Jackie Chan since both are warlike.)

Sun Tzu, I’ll be picking apart your Wu with my Method, Man!

This seminal general isn’t so tough on the mic, all your men must be like you in heaven!

You’re pitiful lyrically lucky for history you didn’t author the Art of Rapping!

The Eastern Philosophers
Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out!

These white boys getting burned ‘cause guess what, now the Sun’s out!

Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn’t SARS,

(Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.)

Lao zi, kick the beat, now Confucius drop some bars!

(Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing and Confucius rapping faster.)

Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire,

(This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful and "Candide", a French satirical novel wirrten by Voltaire.)

French trick with the egg noodle hair.

Your ego’s just so distracting,

Free speech doesn’t mean just keep yapping!

(Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions he should keep quiet in this battle.)

And you killed God so I gotta ask:

Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?

You tried to plan a new German psyche,

But you just grew hate; me no Third Reich-y!

And it all starts with you, you’re the father, Socrates!

(Socrates is often thought of as the godfather of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.)

Honestly I think you owe both of your students here an apology!

(Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire.)

The Western Philosophers
I wouldn’t exactly call myself a student of this plebe.

(A plebe is short for plebian, which is a greek term for a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students)

Don’t make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi!

(chi(氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch.)

Cause I’m N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E!

(Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line)

And I’ll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!

(Nietzsche is a common word used during spelling bees and is usually gotten wrong due to the fact it is pronounced as "Ni-cha".)

'''Plebe? Bitch, I’m toxic like a hemlock sip!'''

(Socrates doesn't believe he is a phebe, claiming his raps are toxic like Hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.)

Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc’s dick!

'''Sacrebleu, Socrates! You’re making things a little tense!'''

(Sacrebleu is a French profanity which is equate to "god damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.)

Come, let’s blind these Chinese hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment!

I will not be taught camaraderie from a fraud who rigged the lottery!

(Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs.)

You make a mockery of ethics so keep your fat nose in your coffee!

(Socrates calls Voltaire a fool in philosophy. Voltaire is known for his fat nose and is an addict to coffee. Socrates is saying to go back to drinking coffee.)

Let me be frank, don’t start beef with The Frank!

Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks!

(Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin)

The Eastern Philosophers
I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity!

(As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle)

You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty.

Ugh, lao zi, I don’t mean no disrespect,

But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!

Oh, you don’t want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today,

I’ll make you move, bitch, get out the way!

(Lao Tzu tells Sun Tzu to step off by making direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way) by Ludacris.)

Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written

That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?

Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in it’s place,

Why don’t you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face?

Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that?

I’ll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat!

(A warmonger is a person who advocates war. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants like P. F. Chang's China Bistro, offers Chinese takeouts which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off.)

So here’s the real golden rule, I’m way above you weak rookies,

(Confucius came up with the Golden Rule: Do onto others what they would do to you. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu.)

Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies!