User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Ib vs Dorian Gray. Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5

HALLOWEEN IS IN

October 31 2016 00:00:00 UTC

oh hey im back

hello everyone and welcome back to Epic Rap Battles of characters you dont know shit about Horror Season 5. today we give people another reason to hate my character choice bc oh yay it's another obscure rpg. yep anyway before we get started, huge shout-out to Dark Cyan for finally getting a normal 1v1 to guest on, he played the role of Dorian Gray, and somewhat quieter shout-out to legion because he wanted that role too. major thanks to cyan, he did a great job and certainly justified the character more than i would have considering i knew nothing about Dorian Gray prior to this battle other than that he's very gay. moving on, in today's battle, main character with a morality parabola and a pretty fucking obvious secret,, Dorian Gray, raps against the main character of the RPG of the same name, Ib , to see who's the better titular "protagonist" with questionable morals (though determinate on Ib's side) who's identities are practically stolen by paintings in the most mismatched influence battle since napoleon vs napoleon. legit cannot think of a better way to word that. for those who don't know, and that's p much everyone now that gir's not around, Ib is a RPG horror game about a little girl ( Ib ) who finds herself lost in a painted world which was mentally constructed by a crazed artist. it's confusing, but you can read more about it using the little links below as always, it's a very well-put-together game and i certainly recommend it. Dorian Gray is, of course, from the Picture of Dorian Gray, a very old literary classic by Oscar Wilde about a man who sells his soul in exchange for eternal youth, allowing a picture drawn of him to age and take on his sins in his place.

??'s would audibly represented with censors, so think of them like that

think that's all, enjoy.

Prologue
Beat:



Announcer: (0:19)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!



VS!



BEGIN!

Ib:
A notice to all visitors: You’ve entered the World of Guertena after-hours,

All opium-smoking trespassers are subject to rappers who spit lemon-sour

Who’ll skim past boring whims like Lit. classes with your corny hymns

And whip the wits out of any British twit like it’s Fifty Shades of Dorian

Which of his mourning friends’s he gonna blackmail into scoring the win for him?

The grieving groom is weeping soon after the victor’s torn a Victorian

I’ll get banned from the gallery with fires of this degree,

A Rose By Any Other Name won’t smell any sweeter than me

Dorian Gray:
Who let a nine year old face me? Are you missing your mommy and daddy?

They better find you before your overly friendly dandy adult friend gets grabby

Garry? Please. Lord Harry’s a better friend and comrade than that man,

And even mannequins can’t mask the fact that half your game is practically Pac-Man

I am over-familiar with the works displayed inside Spooky’s Gallery of Jumpscares

But Five Nights At The Museum fail to give this Crooked Man Neverending Nightmares

No offence to Kouri, but Uri’s superior works have left you obsolete

Even with eternal youth, I lament the waste of the two hours you took to complete!

Ib:
You think your candids handsome but I see it differently like the Doll Room,

Even the Lady in Red wasn’t as splattered with maroon

I don’t need time off or eye drops just to see you’ve gotten Vane

I’d offer my handkerchief, but you can’t wash blood off of your name

Sis-slaughtering Narcissus sold his soul just so he could raise hell,

So now the years won’t catch up to him, but his story sure hasn’t aged well

That’s the biggest plot hole with your unthoughtful novel; It’s way stale.

Oscar crafted a Rainbow Bridge, but painted it in Gray-scale

Dorian Gray:
You show me how thankful I should be, no longer suffering the innocence of a child

I’d burn Mary too, but you beat me to it! And here I thought I was Wilde!

Your illiteracy ???ing sickens me! You’re the dumbest ??? I’ve ever heard!

Pay some ??? attention in school and perhaps then you will “know some of these words!"

Am I so bad? I merely live life as I see fit, experimenting with vices nonchalant

And let’s face it, we’re both known to step on some ants to get what we want

My enemies were another matter but I always did right by my friends

Somebody who let their ally die for them shouldn’t expect me to make amends!

Ib:
There’s music for you to face beyond what you’ve construed here,

If you even know the face staring back, they say the mirror adds a few years,

Every misstep was recorded in the portrait, so if you truly loathe your sins,

Then contrive A Painting’s Demise and it’s Ib All Alone again

Dorian Gray:
This loathsome picture’s old and cruel eyes will forever be the bane of me!

Why did you bring me face to face with this Forgotten Portrait? Damn you, Ib!

If I took to heart The Importance of Being Earnest, would the canvas show good intentions?

I’ll cast aside my sinful life with one swipe and never again give in to temptation!

(With that, Dorian plunges his knife into the portrait, killing himself along with it.)

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!

Outro


Who won? Ib Dorian Gray