User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Diss Tracks of Literature: Adam Smith vs Karl Marx

Oshit!

A CRBoL!

Well, kind of. This is a more-time special, and it's in the format of two diss tracks instead of a rap battle.

It pits father of Capitalism Adam Smith against the father of Communism Karl Marx in the battle of the economic stances, taking the form of two 24 line diss tracks.

Man, it was fun writing one of these again!

Enjoy!

Karl Marx
(beatstarts at 0:20)

Stop the presses! We’ve got this ‘father of economic philosophy’, Adam Smith

Praised by people who’ve never read his shit! Let’s sort the man from the myth!

The rule of self-Interest doesn’t work! It’s simple deduction!

People don’t work for themselves if they don’t own the means of production!

Disney and Murdoch taking over! The world’s a superstore!

I predicted this shit back in fucking 1844!

But if you want me to deconstruct your ideas, read the Paris Papers

Because today this thesis will focus on your personal failures

I worked myself to illness! This soft Scot wants to shake down?

I’ve got the scathing abuses to give you a REAL nervous breakdown

Against this hypochondriac I’ll try to stay humble,

But there’s nothing imaginary about fucking carbuncles!

Your whole life, you never went on a date with another person

But you lived in your mom’s house. Man, I *hope* you’re a virgin!

A quiet little loner who talks to himself must have been riffed on

All your friends were imaginary and you probably still got picked on!

You didn’t drop out of Oxford just to save on the commuting

Though I’m glad this incel never resorted to a school shooting!

I’ve heard so many stories of your many misdeeds and clownish antics

Like the time you got so distracted by your own thoughts you walked into a tanning pit

These are true stories. You once took fifteen mile walk at night in your PJs

Came to your senses in the countryside but it was your rivals who had a field day!

But I would rather drink bread and butter tea straight from the teapot

Than print your out of date, obsolete Captalist brain-rot!

Adam Smith
Ey. Yo. ([ beat] starts at 0:14)

A frightful hobgoblin stalks through Europe

Kicked out of so many countries, he lived his life as a tourist

I expected nothing but ad hominem attacks from Karl Marx

A German with a ‘better’ system should have left more lasting marks

Unlike you, I’m not used to insulting people, but I had to reply

Because my diss track to you is in Demand, so I’ll Supply

Your track was so crap I’m surprised that what you said rhymed,

But unlike you, I’m about to meet head-on some dead lines

You treat every opinion but yours with contempt like yours are greater.

An intellectual bully; no wonder he only ever inspired dictators!

I might have never had many friends but you lost all yours, you slob

Stop asking everyone you know for handouts and get a real fucking job!

Your wife and family lived in poverty, because you were a part-time columnist

Who spent your money on everything *but* food! How perfectly Communist!

So keep going on vacations and fathering more kids than you can feed

Or perhaps maybe keep it in your pants, you wannabe Bourgeois!

Your nice house and nice clothes were nothing but decorative

You were secretly celebrating the deaths and wills of your relatives!

At least you were a good husband and your marriage wasn’t a disgrace

Ignoring that your maid’s illegitimate son has your exact face!

You’re just an angry man, forever cursed to be a misfit

None of your socialist outfits could start a revolution for shit!

Every country that uses your system’s a shithole, you old boar,

So it doesn’t matter who wins this battle. I won the Cold War

WHO WON? Karl Marx Adam Smith