User blog:Spatulus/KYON (Haruhi Suzumiya) vs HOTARO OREKI (Hyouka)

Epic Rap Battles Of Anime History

KYON vs HOTARO OREKI

BEGIN!

KYON: Do I seriously need to bother rapping against an emo protagonist?

Who's job is staring into space like an alienating expressionist

List me in your annual anthology, because I spit rhymes into infinity

You have got a database as your buddy, but I play god in humanity

Record this in your memory, as I've heard that you excel in mystery

You are not the only one, for I break the chains in Haruhi's misery

Listen closely and carefully for what I am about to say

SOS Brigade is here to kick your ass in high-definition display

Nagato's a motherboard when it comes to programming this battlefield

There is no downright way you will win, even with your deduction skill

Hence, you should go back home with your coffee and news

After I put you to sleep with my fist and new shoes

I cycled countless miles more than the puzzles you have solved

Of course, less times to the library, but more cases I am involved

You better hold your front bangs before Eru slips into the sciences

And I will destroy you by travelling to the future and nascence

Converting your data to words that Classics Club is no matter

All you do there is slacking off, and avoid refusing your sister

Before you take this mic, let me tell you that I am easily furious

Also help me spread this message to Chitanda, that I am curious.

HOTARO: Sigh...

Please give me a moment, Mr Anomynous, you have drained my energy

Listening to you gives me a headache, like evaluating a strategy

To be honest, I do rather doze off because your lessons were history

Like what you are gonna be, you and any girl have no chemistry

I am a master of clue picking, that's what others said to me

However, if I were to analyse you, I won't say that I am lucky

You've got to pull that trigger, and give me the credit

It takes more than your injection to leave me in frigid

I love to read manga, but especially not yours

Yours is a bore, like your endless eight flaws

Continue to sit back and enjoy the 'fourth seat'

Let me tell you clearly that you are about to get beat

See, you crafted an independant film with horrible editing

Even though you had two guys who had the power of encrypting

Your storyline was atrocious, I don't need time travel to tell

Just from the first episode, wait, the ordering made my mind fell

Geo better get prepared because that's where I would be

Face me privately, let this settle between you and me

If you read my story, you would know who Jiro is

Don't play with Asahina or you won't even exist

KYON: Your lousy rapping is worse than the ghost story in the inn

In the end, there's no winner, because I have already won to begin

You are a sloppy version of Tomoya, and the same voice actor

You've got so dejected that you took on the job of a life-saving rejector

Listen closely, Hotaro, I would scream if I were you

Like the day you roped in with that script at Irisu

Maybe you should calm down, and stop blaming yourself

I'd say you look like a corpse by evening, with books on the shelf

It is good that you like to read, but can never pass the middle

Though you never cared, but it's time you do to reach my level

It is clear since the day you mistook the shed as a warehouse

However, now I'll lock you in without your love and tied mouse

HOTARO: That's all you have to say? Man, I thought it would be interesting

I will make a trade-off, but I would consider getting something

And your movie was way better, yet I'm still be winning

Let me smack you with the umbrella, but I'm too busy Eru-miring

I am forever helpful, providing flour in the middle of competition

I'm not talking about this one, you live without ambition

Why not fly back to closed space, and give Itsuki an esper-iencing whiff

I drop puns with calmness onto the head of the fake John Smith

I don't have to do this, and I would not have done it.

Alternatively, for you I have to do it, so I will make this quick!

You should learn how to discover the fact that you're gonna lose

To a guy who knows nothing, a final kiss won't be of use

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF ANIME HISTORY!

Title of poll Kyon Hotaro Oreki