User blog:GravityMan/Literature vs History 12: Yertle the Turtle vs Adolf Hitler

Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I was finishing up the finale and completely forgot to finish this one :P Anyway, today we got Dr. Seuss's take on Adolf Hitler, the grouchy, egocentric Yertle the Turtle facing off against his source of inspiration. Thanks to Leandro for the cover and let's go :D also btw check out Wonder's newest battle, Zapp vs Qwark or whatever, one of the only battles of his I can understand.



Beat
Future Crisis

Starts at 0:20

Yertle the Turtle:
I’m the King! The grand ruler, of all that I can see,

I own you! Can’t run a country yet Russia had you running!

I surf the clouds, I am a god, you blow worse than your Party’s favor,

And I heard your mother was worthless, that’s why the Jew didn’t save her!

Your speeches are broken into pieces, can’t even finish a prison sentence,

Why don’t you leave this battle faster than you did your left nut in the trenches?

I’ll give you this, Ausch-bitch, your conquests had no Gestappin’-o!

But then you backstabbed your biggest backer, Waluigi without a Wario!

Adolf Hitler:
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Descending to this Jewshit’s sewers, the Fuhrer refutes this foolish Koopa,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Conquer more miles than an Uber, line my lines up and then I’ll shoot a

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Million pond scum of your species, already croaked the French frogs

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">This cancer up against the Chancellor? I’d rather take another shot

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">To Germany! One teste yet I can still straddle Valkyries, your anatomy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Is inferior to the Fuhrer, drags his arse because he’s too soft internally!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff0000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Why is this conquest so familiar? It’s for I’ve murdered turtle dicks before

<span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Genetically a better leader, letter speaker, Shredder beat ya, down pour!

Yertle the Turtle:
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Quit your yappin’! This turtle is snappin’ up an infernal greased rat,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You stench of gas, yuck, shuck my shell, you’re in need of a Ba’ath!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">How can you call yourself German when you’re an illegal immigrant,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Mack smack this vermin! For a beggar this King will spare his sentiments

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m fresh water, your own father regrets not killing you as a baby,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Your downfall was your own fault, my people were just too lazy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#4a86e8;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">And don’t take this too harshly, remember art school little guy?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(74,134,232);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:21px;">I’m sure you do, so you must be used to being rejected twice

Adolf Hitler:
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">But I come back stronger! Rising to the highest state of the state

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Stating claims to the dismal state of your statements, instated

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Behind iron bars of my heavenly gates creation and the rhyming scheming

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Plots to drop this soggy bottom back into a grave plot, seemingly

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">Mistaken, thinking this land is his for the taking,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">But little does he know it’s more than his plan that’s half-baking

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">So bear the lashes from this fascist, my U-Boat leaves you obsolete!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">So you wish to serve me? I melt empty shells for my war machine

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE


 * the logo splits apart and stacks up on each other, forming a tower which sways and collapses*



Poll
Who Won? Yertle the Turtle Adolf Hitler

Hint for Next Battle
(coming soon)