User blog:TKandMit/H.P. Lovecraft vs Edgar Allan Poe. TK's Idol Tourney

Hey guys! Today, MetalFire and I bring you an episode from that Idol Tourney made by that very handsome user, TKandMit. Very handsome, indeed.

...

Cast
MetalFire as H.P. Lovecraft and Cthulhu and Raven (The Call of Cthulhu) and (The Raven)

TKandMit as Edgar Allan Poe and Montresor (The Cask of Amontillado)

Battle
(We see Edgar Allan Poe at a graveyard looking at a grave with a Whiskey bottle in his hand)

Poe: Lord, please help my poor soul

(Poe drinks the bottle and a young, slim man walks towards Poe. Then Poe turns around)

Poe: Who goes there?

Lovecraft: Me, I am Howard Phillips Lovecraft

Poe: What do you want, kid?

(Lovecraft pulls out a notebook and a quill)

Lovecraft: A battle to see who's the true king of horror.

Poe: *laughs* Boy, you don't know what you're getting into, let's do it.

Battle
Epic rat battles of horro-SHIT wrong series

Epic rap battles of the Idol Tourney!

H! P! LOVECRAFT!

Versus!

'Edgar! Allan! Pooooooooe!'

Begin!

Poe

Drearily approaching me a writer that is not frightening

Going on about monsters and lore, not the least bit enticing

He who refers to my Imp of the Perverse in his own works

Howard's proved the worst of horrors in the universe!

You, a Terrible Old Man, I'll rip your Tell-Tale Heart out!

You let your guard down, you goth clown, don't even start now!

Softly spoken, Littlewit poet, on top of that a Theo-bald Ward.

Why don't you go back to your deities and your tentacle porn?

Lovecraft

Beware, Edgar, for thy's rhyme sceme will drive thee to madness

I'm a gentleman, you mad alcoholic who's been driven to the Tomb of sadness

I may have never gotten my degree, but at least I didn't drop out of Virginia university

You may have made the Detective fiction, but it's not mystery you're inferior to me

Your works are The Shadow Out of Time, while my mythos are loved by many

The horror I've told are true fear compared to your cheap poetry

I've had more success writing in my mother's attic than you in your whole life

My flow is sicker than the disease that kill your wife!

Poe

An Azathoth asshole, bashful, and acting irrational

You're a handful, and your poorly written Craft's old.

I'll bury you in the Cask, there's a Beast In The Cave

Montresor

Over you, I pave, take this Medoc - I've made de Grave!

Poe

Raising this shit stain of Dagon would surely make me insane!

Just like your father! The Raven and I are pecking your cancer-ridden brain!

Lovecraft

You may have inspired my stories, but you could never do what I do

Just quit literature and go back to the army, Oh yes prepare to meet Cthulhu!

Cthulhu

I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO BRING NIGHTPAIN TO THIS GOTH TROLL DOLL RAPIDLY

THIS CREATURE MAKES SATAN SHIT HIS PANTS AND CAUSE YOU MORE SORROW THAN THE DEATH OF YOUR FAMILY

Lovecraft

I'd rather be at the Mountains of Madness than deal with this eyesore

You being loved, remembered, and being of worth...

The Raven

Nevermore... Nevermore...

Who won? Edgar Allan Poe H.P. Lovecraft