User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 5: Toph Beifong vs Yuffie Kisaragi

(Thus, we have arrived at the battle I posted to facebook on the 1st of November 2013. We're getting through these quite quickly, aren't we? I think i'll make a permanent switch to once every two days, and if that still feels a bit too fast, I'll move it to once every three days. Season 2 will definitely not be as fast as this.)

Toph Beifong vs. Yuffie Kisaragi!

Yuffie: I’m the hottest pirate ninja girl in All Creation

Rocking the mean green bandit scene since ‘97

You don’t know what I’m like. I’m not nice, I’m cold as ice.

I’m the big bad wolf, getting an appetite for blind mice.

I kick more ass with my arm in a cast than a backdraft

But I’m aware that impaired ain’t fair to harass.

You don’t belong here, little girl. My fighting is frightening.

I’m writing history by tearing through you like Greased Lightning!

Toph: So what if I’m blind? I don’t see your point.

I’m the greatest Earthbender alive, ‘bout to rock this joint.

You’re a rabid backstabber who betrayed your friend’s trust.

Was the hate worth feeding your Materia lust?

I bring more good vibrations than Brian Wilson.

You may be older, but I’m the one with the wisdom.

Earth Kingdom represent! Don’t mess with my clique.

I’ll bust out tricks, rip this ground up until you’re seasick.

Yuffie: Daughter of Godo’s gonna drop you from my father’s Pagoda.

Sit back, laugh at you and crack open a soda.

You’re not a rapper. You’re a spoiled rich white 12 year old girl.

You think it’s impressive, stopping a plot to rule the world with a meteor?

Or fighting industrial countries in war?

Been there, done that. Now I’m shacking up with Valentine.

You probably met Lin’s unknown father on a date line.

I was going easy before, but I’m on the attack now.

But being as scruffy as you are shouldn’t be allowed.

Toph: I don’t need to see myself. I’m an aestheticly pleasing amaurotic.

No cosmetics needed for this terrakinetic.

You’re a generic degenerate who’s going to need anaesthetic.

No energetic athethletics will stop you from getting your butt kicked.

You fought your father to restore honour? Gee, haven’t heard that before.

Check your materia. I think you might need a Restore.

I didn’t even need firebending to cook this crook.

There won’t be another verse after this. You’re shook.

WHO WON? Toph Yuffie