User blog:Iamthelegion/Jason vs Angela

hi

this is a royale of deep proportions

sorry if I seem a little wet

anyways first of all thanks to Jella for the iTunes cover, TK for all the title cards, and Alan for the amazing af WHO DECIDES! card.

Second of all, thanks to Drak for rapping as Jason Voorhees, with my chiseling, and to Grav for rapping as the Fisherman with my help on one line.

Thirdly, I'd like to thank the Flats Mon himself for chiseling the fourth rapper's lyrics.

Today's battle features a contest between Jason Voorhees, the antagonist of the Friday the 13th film series, against Angela Baker, the protagonist of the Sleepaway Camp films, to see who is the best rapper to survive drowning ant summer camp. It also has some other rappers in it following a water-y theme and shizzle like that.

With no further ado, let's go.

Cast:
Flashlektra as Angela Baker, and ???

Justin Buckner as Jason Voorhees

thelegion as ??? , ???, ???

Donald Sr. as ???

WoodenHornets as ???

The Battle!:
ALTERNATE RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!







I’m Mortal on the mic, and I have a feeling that this night

I’ll unleash 10 deadly rhymes against a little girl not so bright

It’s the cursed masked demon, definitive for horror brutality

Against a feeble lil’ soul confused by her own sexuality

Try to step on Crystal Lake and I’ll start another killing spree

Making this angel even more dead if she dares to attack me

You’ll be slashed in a flash, better be more than ready

Splittingly obvious I'll dismember her, like I did to Freddy

Cause I go by the name of Jason, ripping apart this ugly skank

So do yourself a favor: leave this Kombat and Return to Sleepaway Camp

Think you're a big monster? You don't scare me

You should have stayed silent, dead Wayne Gretzky

From silly slasher to button masher of little regard

Scalding rhymes! Spit real stingers when I go hard

You're a real tosser, and I'm not talking about axes

As fragile as a Crystal and busy hacking hackers

No hidey-hole beyond my reach, pathetic as Freddy

Locked in now! When I split wood I need no machete!

Won’t tolerate yappings from a disgrace for the horror industry

Your rhymes are more awful than your little pathetic trilogy

So much fame comes to me, while your little's simply rotten

Spit another diss and this Unhappy Camper will be forgotten

Cause I’m a monster, going harder on this silly stupid crook

With your petty insults, you have better chances to burn cooks

But no, not me, a killing machine who’ll leave your face deformed

You just got informed not to mess with me, you've been warned

Face it, I have dignity and recognition, far from disgraced you

Looks like this wannabe me gets bullied, so it’s nothing new

You're going under again; truth is you've capsized

Through the lies I've summised its time you cut ties

With your corny remakes, you whack Michael copy-cat

Stick out, sore thumb, where your recognition's at

You've no rhyme, no reason, a boring, mindless savage

Camp for kills, break your own rules, cause panic

I'll have a flow so wet, this beast will shrink in fear!

You've good lines like potential appearance, three a year.



You two don't have three days, not three minutes

The reason, well, I drip and spit fully infinite

Rap Rings around you, known to hold a Grudge

Send you over the edge like unrequited loves

The chaste wins the chase as I set the pace

Cracking two confused kids, sopping disgraces

You'll be clawing at the sides, in for the climax

As Sadako leaves these monsters half-lifeless



You shouldn't have done that, Slash, now a true horror steps in

Not spooky spaghetti, delete me and I'll be more than troubling

That so called rap left me far from Happy, don't Mask my suffering

Because I'll hunt Sadako down while these campers' video is buffering

A trophy rapper, and distorted smart AIs decipher and recognise

The moon isn't the threat, I'll Clock you out, that's no surprise

You're in W-eNVy of my masterful rapping, a Major-a threat did arise

We all met with terrible fates, but I kill without coming back to life!



Still took one down, but me, I do my killing in couples

Check the TV - I suspect you're seeing doubles

I flow like the surf, laughing as your life ebbs out

Better kneel, son, I brought the Creepshow in this house!

Spitting diamonds from islands, I'll leave you beached

Firing off rounds, Vickers knows what he does preach

In the end, adults will always beat mixed-up lil' ones

Ah! It's high tide. I'll chain you up like love.



Prepare for a Bioshock! Your victims came, flopping back!

You're adraft of some ghasts but Splicers fear my attacks

Been Delt-a hand, now I'll drill my victory into your skulls

Because I've got DeWitt to set you down more than seagulls

I've gone for a swim, Angela's not the only one who got out

But I brought my Little Sister back, unlike this clout

My skill is Infinite, beating this machine's in my genes

now end this battle more suddenly than all your death scenes!

*Big Daddy's drill spins and he charges towards the other rappers as a mist sets in*



The Creature from Black Lagoon brings doom for these goons

Spit a monsoon, this loon lost to savages out of Dune

Leave the room then you'll meet your fate soon

Gone for a midnight swim? Huh, I have too...

Kidnapping kiddies? Well, now that is rude...

As to your origins, I would suggest Scooby Doo...

Breathe the water in as you get that sinking feeling

At the onset I set on to pass the on-the-set ceiling

As I spin you under, you could say I have you reeling...



*A film reel spins in the projector, and a fishing hook flies over it into the Lagoon*



I know what y’all did last summer you sucka MCs,

Junior Casey Jones nearly died from being bullied brutally,

Hit Sadako harder than the presses when Miyaji made her a mockery!

I’m a-head verbally, can’t say the same for your mommies!

And yo, take out Jotaro from your porno and you got a snuff film!

Worse than when pheromones made Big Daddies their little sis’s Dilf!

Uh! You can’t match to the hook I got when my movie begins

Dick, I “held my breath for a long time,” waiting for your movie to end!

You’re a forgotten joke, call it Comic Sands!

It’s time to continue the one I got by the gills, man!

I’ll be schooling Kanye West like a Teacher from the Black Lagoon!

Spitting fire hotter than development hell that left your reboot consumed!

And Angela, baby, when I got beef I leave it buried, not taped down!

Your bodies will be fished out deeper than where your storylines were found!

Outro:

 * 1) GravNDrakFuckyeah



Who won? Jason Voorhees Angela Baker Sadako BEN Drowned Richard Vickers Big Daddy The Gillman The Fisherman

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