Sun Tzu

"Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out!"

- Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu will battle the Western Philosophers as part of the Eastern Philosophers, alongside Confucius and Lao Tzu, in Philosophers East vs West. He will be portrayed by Timothy DeLaGhetto.

Information on the rapper
Sun Tzu, also rendered as Sun Zi, was a Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher who lived in the Spring and Autumn period of ancient China. The name he is best known by is actually an honorific which means "Master Sun". His birth name was Sun Wu, and he was known outside of his family by his courtesy name Changqing. He is traditionally credited as the author of The Art of War (孫子兵法), an extremely influential ancient Chinese book on military strategy. Sun Tzu has had a significant impact on Chinese and Asian history and culture, both as the author of The Art of War and as a legendary historical figure.

Lyrics
[''Note: Sun Tzu's solo lines are in  red, while Confucius and Lao Tzu are in regular text. Lines which all rappers say are italicized.'']

Verse 1:
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected,

From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is!

You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life,

You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic.

While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration,

Hand you an ass whooping our descendants will honor for generations!

We filled a nation  with patience, and the presence  for living!

And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written!

Verse 2:
Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out!

These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun’s out!

Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn’t SARS,

Laozi, kick the beat. Now Confucius, drop some bars!

Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire,

French drip with the egg noodle hair.

Your ego’s just so distracting,

Free speech doesn’t mean just keep yapping!

And you killed God so I gotta ask:

Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?

You tried to plant a new German psyche,

But you just grew hate; me no Third Reich-y!

And it all starts with you! You’re the father, Socrates!

Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology!

Verse 3:
I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity!

We must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty.

Ugh, Laozi! I don’t mean no disrespect,

But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense!

Oh, you don’t want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today,

I’ll make you move, bitch, get out the way!

Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written,

That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?

Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place.

Why don’t you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face?

Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that?

I’ll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat!

So here’s the real golden rule, I’m way above you weak rookies!

Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies!

Trivia

 * Timothy was featured in Nigahiga's Mother's Day video dressed as Sun Tzu.