User blog:Meatholl/Epic Rap Battles of Meatholl S2 EP1 : Ash Ketchum VS Charles Darwin

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

Hello, mah niggas, it's Jorn van Essen/Meatholl/Lord Jorn Humpalot/God

THIS HAS BEEEEN A WHILLEEEEEE. I didn't feel like it, I had part of this battle written some while ago, and I never finished it, but yolo. This certainly isn't my best, but you know, I GOTTA PUT SOMETHING OUT BECAUSE MY 20000 MILLION FANS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A WHILE. Anyhow, yes I've used Ash already, IDGAF. Here it goes.

Charles "Loves-To-Theory" Darwin :
Charles Robert Darwin, (12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist. He established that all species of life have descended over time from common ancestors, and proposed the scientific theory that this branching pattern of evolution resulted from a process that he called natural selection, in which the struggle for existence has a similar effect to the artificial selection involved in selective breeding.

Ash "Pokéballer" Ketchum : Ash-Ketchum-3-pokemon_melody-26630083-250-305.jpg
Ash Ketchum, known as Satoshi for all appearances in Japan, is a fictional character in the Pokémon franchise owned by Nintendo. He was created by, and named after, Satoshi Tajiri and is the protagonist of the Pokémon anime and manga series, as well as on various merchandise related to the franchise. His name is derived from the Japanese name (as the letters 'ash' are included in 'Satoshi') and his English motto, "Gotta Catch 'Em All". Ash's dream is to become a Pokémon Master.

The Rap Battle
Beat, begins at 0:26

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MEATHOLLLLLLLL
CHARLES DARWIN!

VERSUS!

ASH KETCHUUUMMMMM!

BEGIN.

Charles Darwin :
As the Father of Evolution, I can tell, you're not quite evolved,

and it's not really safe for your health if you wanna catch em all.

You're still a primitive ape, a Neanderthaler, nothing but a mere boy,

It's the survival of the fittest, you won't succeed, go play with your toys.

The Origin of your upcoming defeat is your foolish attempt to act ostentatious

My rhymes will make you see Black and White, you'll be saying goodness gracious

This battle is a natural selection, and that means only the strongest will survive,

so it's no wonder Ashy boy here isn't getting out this fight alive.

Ash Ketchum :
I don't have the same ancestor as this naturabitch, and people told me you were intelligent,

You're the only primate here, and the posters your many haters made are the evidence.

You will Descent as the man who has been beating by the Pokémon Master!

As you can clearly tell, you can't rap, all I'm seeing is just a rapping disaster!

You can't win this battle Charles, when my Pokémons are what I'm choosing,

I'll Thundershock your brains out, time to change your name to Dar-Losing.

Nice theory you've got there, but let me show you some pure facts,

I may be ten, but my pure skill of dissing will cause massive Giga Impacts!

Charles Darwin :
Try if you must, but we both know, that your chances of winning are very slim,

Not my fault you choose wrong Pokémons, it's like you never even want to win.

You're no Pokémon Master kiddo, why don't you admit you're worse than Gary,

Your mentor is banging your mom, and none of your Pokémons are remotely scary

All your friends just leave you, cause you're sad and annoying like no other,

We all know that in the end the only one who will really love you is your mother.

Thus I'm coming to my conclusion, that's why you're travelling around the world,

because you feel so lonely without a dad you're trying to find a girl.

Ash Ketchum :
You think you're tough? You're an old pedophilic guy without sex appeal,

Call me Charizard, I'm spitting flames, but don't worry, I packed a Burn Heal.

With your ape-like way you're behaving, you belong in the zoo.

And to the question Who is gonna lose this battle? Bro, we all choose you!

My Pokédex has indentified you as a weak loser with no rapping practice,

That's why your disses don't hurt me, while mine are super effective!

This battle versus this old guy is over, and I'm the one standing tall!

So just blast off like Team Rocket man, and suck my Pokéballs!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT!? YOU DECIDE

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MEATHOLL!

Who won? Ash Ketchum Charles Darwin