User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Ao Oni vs The Gatherer- Epic Rat Battles of Horror Season Finale

Hooooly shit. I started today with only two verses on this thing. I have been working on this for five hours today. You'd better enjoy it xD Anyways, todays matchup is totally not Ao Oni vs The Crooked Man like I thought it would be, instead it's the Ao Oni - The "Blue Demon" from the game with the respective title, facing off against the The Grunt, otherwise known as the Gatherer from Amnesia in a battle of who's the better demon to haunt castles. I think that's the connection? Oh well, this is a big ass battle (Eight verses!) so hope you enjoy. I have no idea how to cast this battle given the characters, so I just kinda skipped that part. There's a SHIT ton of instrumentals, though. Point aside, thanks to Stoff for the suggestion, and some random WC I found when searching for the original suggestion. Let's get this battle started!

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Instrumental one- Frenzy (Number 76)

Announcer: (0:00)

EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORROR!

AO! ONI!

VS!

THE GATHERER!

BEGIN!

The Gatherer (Grunt)(0:12):

THERE YOU ARE!

It’s time for not-so-little Boy Blue here to pay his dues and suffer from an unfortunate curse!

I could rap against this crap in reverse and still end up spitting a better verse, bud, you’re the worst!

While I’m scoring, I observe that your little game is boring, and it didn’t even leave me unnerved,

I’ll go H.A.M on this little runt, my names Server Grunt AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET SERVED!

You’re in my Shadow, you’re hallow, because you’re some kind of KassemG mutation abomination,

You’ve been in the dark for so long, the chances of you winning was really just a hallucination

You’re so full of baloney, so I’ll speak slowly, but if you step into my castle, I’ll have to Battle Oni

You’re sniffing my trophies like a coyote, but judging from your face, it’s no wonder you’re nosy!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll skewer this walking rape joke who’s really only a bruiser for PewDiePie’s viewers, devil!

<p class="MsoNormal">Call me the Pursuerer, but you smell like manure, did you just crawl out of the Sewers Level?

<p class="MsoNormal">GO HIDE IN YOUR CLOSET! THAT WON’T SAVE YOU, when the Gatherer murders this little shit!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’M GIVING EVERY YOUTUBER NIGHTMARES WHILE YOU FAILED TO KILL A COUPLE OF KIDS!

<span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri;mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language: EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">(Instrumental stops, next one begins... Instrumental 2: Blue Demon)

<p class="MsoNormal">Ao Oni (0:14):

<p class="MsoNormal">You’ve entered my mansion, and now, there’s no escape, better dig your own grave,

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re Crooked, Man! There’s no hidden door to hide behind, and you haven’t even saved!

<p class="MsoNormal">No strategy can stand to me, I attack randomly, while you don’t have a hint of humanity-

<p class="MsoNormal">Slow and stupid, making fun of my appearance, just looking at you reduces sanity!

<p class="MsoNormal">Get Agrippa who you’re facing! You’re a bony midget phony that is so lonely,

<p class="MsoNormal">You stole the name of Halo monsters, only ten times uglier, you’re so lowly,

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re outgunned by Mark and Toby while I’ve got a cathedral, that’s right, I’m holy!

<p class="MsoNormal">Come at me and you’re finished! When I’m through with you, you’ll resemble the Blob Oni!

<p class="MsoNormal">Crawl back to Brennenburg! You’re not smart enough to battle me, you can’t even think!

<p class="MsoNormal">You stink, and if you thought you stood a chance, you’ve had too many Late Night Drinks!

<p class="MsoNormal">And your friends will vomit in disgust, and trust that you feel no pain once you’ve bust,

<p class="MsoNormal">Because once I’m through scraping the meat off of your bones, YOU’LL BECOME ONE OF US!

<p class="MsoNormal">(The Ao Oni lunges towards the Grunt as the music changes. The Grunt leaps out of the way, and backs up into the darkness, as a loud growl is heard. The new opponent steps into the light… backing up the grunt, it’s the Brute!)

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Instrumental 3- SILENT KILLER

<p class="MsoNormal">Brute (0:24):

<p class="MsoNormal">GRAAAAAAAAAAAH!

<p class="MsoNormal">You’d better run back to your shack if you don’t want to face this lyrical smack,

<p class="MsoNormal">As this Brute-al Behemoth leaves you neck snapped with only one attack,

<p class="MsoNormal">I won’t need to be a scavenger just to massacre this challenger,

<p class="MsoNormal">Don’t mess with the Gatherer, or we’ll find out if your blood is also lavender-

<p class="MsoNormal">You can stand there and insult me until you’re even bluer in the face,

<p class="MsoNormal">‘Cause I’ll just sit here and wait as you plummet like your movie rates-

<p class="MsoNormal">There’s no excuse for your abuse and now the Brute is on the loose

<p class="MsoNormal">(GAAAH!) Use your infrared vision and see that you’re going to lose!

<p class="MsoNormal">(The music stops as The Brute cackles loudly. His noise is eventually cut short as a soft “meow” is heard, and a black cat dashes out from behind the nearby bookcase, which is soon followed by the Blockman !)

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Instrumental 4- Get Smack  (Badpokerface)

<p class="MsoNormal">Blockman Oni: (Raps fast, 0:36)

<p class="MsoNormal">Alright, it’s time to ride, it’s time to die, it’s time to cry, let’s do this, guys

<p class="MsoNormal">When these rhymes gouge out your eyes, you’re outta time, the rope is tied,

<p class="MsoNormal">It’s time to smite, it’s time to bite, as I win this fight with much delight,

<p class="MsoNormal">You’ll end up committing suicide because tonight, there is no place to hide!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll leave a disgrace all over the place in this race, erased ‘cause I’m quite the ace,

<p class="MsoNormal">Leave you with a lack of space if you gurgle words out of your split-in-half face,

<p class="MsoNormal">Because if you’re slowed flow erodes my ears and makes me want to explode on you chodes,

<p class="MsoNormal">Watch out, as I reload, glow and unload on you two, and I won’t even need your cheat codes!

<p class="MsoNormal">(The instrumental slows, as a background statue rotates completely, facing Blockman is unaware, teleporting straight to him with a large sound, knocking him off screen… it’s the Angel, from Justine!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Justine (1:10):

<p class="MsoNormal">My Darlings, I am emerging to help defeat these poser ogres,

<p class="MsoNormal">Who won’t Stay Alive, Suffer the Trial now that this is Game Over,

<p class="MsoNormal">The Skinless One Is Waiting, and Death Shall Move Across the Floor,

<p class="MsoNormal">Entertain Me- As I bring in an army of monsters to silence these trolls roars,

<p class="MsoNormal">It Will Be Again, a verbal death sentence, if you Step Into My Gates,

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll shred you like wallpaper and I won’t even need the shard of a Broken Plate,

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re as useless as Hiroshi’s Health Bar, and there will be no room for healing

<p class="MsoNormal">Once I forsee two hideous blue bodies, hanging from atop my ceiling!

<p class="MsoNormal">(As Justine finishes up the last line, the camera shows the Onis, as a gate behind them swings open. Stepping into the field is Scooter!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Scooter: (1:33) (Breathing heavily)

<p class="MsoNormal">Heheheh… what is this feud going on that I see?

<p class="MsoNormal">Two mangled, still walking, shit-talking corpse emcees, and a nude statue banshee?

<p class="MsoNormal">Well I decree that this hunchback will bring down the roof and leave you in debris,

<p class="MsoNormal">Because I guarantee that you’ll have your back snapped and you’ll end up looking like me!

<p class="MsoNormal">Don’t step to me, it’ll be a crime when I unleash the gates of these backbreaking rhymes,

<p class="MsoNormal">Stick to guzzling down that poisonous wine, because the door is gonna STAY locked this time!

<p class="MsoNormal">Your future is full of gloom for if you try and defeat me, for these three will be consumed,

<p class="MsoNormal">Hehehe… you should always think twice before stepping into the Oni Room!

<p class="MsoNormal">(The screen fades out, as the instrumental changes, to a shot of a trashed London city… after some time, a pig runs out in the streets as The Manpig  from Amensia: A Machine for Pigs joins in)

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Instrumental 5- Hard and Scary

<p class="MsoNormal">ManPig:

<p class="MsoNormal">SQUEEEEEEEEEEAL

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve got to snap you three like twigs and show you that you’re not so big,

<p class="MsoNormal">Got these rhymes cranking like a machine… like a Machine for Pigs!

<p class="MsoNormal">You buffoons will pop like balloons, I’m cleaning up the Oni Room,

<p class="MsoNormal">And you pasty-hairless idiots put the R-P-G into “Reckless Pansy Goons!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Watch me shoot lightning from my hands like my name was Telsa ,

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll wreck ya, as you steal DNA and let those annoying kiddies dress ya,

<p class="MsoNormal">Scooter, you’re a creep, but I’m your master, so hear my laughter,

<p class="MsoNormal">As I ride you up and down the halls like the vehicle you’re named after,

<p class="MsoNormal">And the tooth shaped, better stay out of my way, or be shot dead!

<p class="MsoNormal">Step up to any Gatherer and see if we’re afraid of a literal Blockhead!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve got buddies in the Nether, y’all are Deformed, but I’m a killer,

<p class="MsoNormal">Better watch the Clock, you’re in for a thriller when I STOMP these Caterpillars!

<p class="MsoNormal">(The Pigs run wild through the Oni’s background, as the Onis are fighting them off, the entire wall behind them bursts open… as Squatto steps in to finish this!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Final Instrumental- Mechanical Forest

<p class="MsoNormal">Squatto (0:27):

<p class="MsoNormal">Bitch, try your porkchops against my weight, I guarantee you’ll decay!

<p class="MsoNormal">We’re having Bacon for dinner today, as these four fools get Let’s Played!

<p class="MsoNormal">Everyone knows Amnesia, you’re old news and you’re certainly no threat!

<p class="MsoNormal">So I’ll settle this debt by taking these bulk of fists and POUNDING YOU TO DEATH!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll topple Manpig like his building blocks, tie his limbs into a bunch of knots, see

<p class="MsoNormal">I do not see how Grunt can stop me, I’ll tear him until his face MATCHES HIS BODY!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve come to roast thee until they’re left toasty, and then steal the trophy,

<p class="MsoNormal">You may attack in numbers, but let’s see a group of you defeat ONE GORRILA ONI!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve got Demonic Strength and Uncanny Stamina, it’ll be more then easy to beat ya!

<p class="MsoNormal">You all will disappear like the Water Monster, think you’ll win? You must have Amnesia!

<p class="MsoNormal">Time for this to end! SQUATTO DOES IT AGAIN, ENDING YOU ALL, HEAR THAT, MEN?

<p class="MsoNormal">CELEBRATE! SQUATTO JUST PULLED THE PLUG ON THESE BUNCH OF FAILED EXPERIMENTS!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO WON?

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO'S NEXT?

<p class="MsoNormal">YOU DECIDEEEEEE!

<p class="MsoNormal">EPIC RAT- RAT- RAT- RAT! (The Logo opens up to see Ao Oni behind it, rushing towards the screen as his mouth opens and a smaller logo is inside) BATTLES OF HORROOOORRRRR!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">_____________________________________________________________________________________

Who won? The Grunt, The Brute, The Angel and The ManPig The Oni, Blockman, Scooter, and Squatto _____________________________________________________________________________________

Ending Note:

Thanks to everybody who watched, suggested, voted for and commented on any of the Epic Rat Battles of Horror for getting us through a astonishingly successful season. This was a whopping fifteen battles, and I would like to personally thank BTTF, WonderPikachu, Dragonsblood and Stofferex for being avid readers, and for constantly suggesting. I'll have a news blog up soon talking about the current status of Season 2 and what I plan for it, and I think what I have planned so far, you guys are going to love. Thanks again to everyone else who reads these blogs, you're all awesome, and I'm looking forward to Season 2. Cheers :)

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