User blog:Ultimate Hair Dryer/Danny Sexbang vs Shino Amakusa. Anime vs Anything Rap Battles

So, I said on the last battle that I probably wouldn't make another one, but I don't know, I guess I just felt drawn to it. I think I started writing this one back in April, or maybe even before. So, I don't know what's the average writing time for battles on here, but to me, it felt like I worked pretty damn long. I didn't spend time on it everyday of course, but it still felt like I put quite the amount of work into this, so I really hope you guys like this one, and if not, then oh well :P

Also, it was pretty hard to try and get better since I didn't receive any feedback on the last battle (not complaining, just stating a fact :) ), but I still tried to perfect those lyrics with the best of my abilities.

Again, since I'm sure not many people know those characters (especially Shino), there's a "Meanings" section down there. They're for sure the most annoying part to write, but I really want everyone to know I put actual work into this :)

So, who are those characters ? In this corner, Danny Sexbang, singer and half of the band Ninja Sex Party, as well as co-host of Game Grumps (which I'm more than a fan of. fite me, so-called superfans). He saved the world more than once, is the epitome of perfection, a professional womanizer, with a body crafted by God Himself with the intent to please women like they've never been pleased...according to him. In the other corner is Shino Amakusa, main female character of the raunchy comedy series "Seitokai Yakuindomo", student council president of her high school (don't worry, she's 18...in part of the series), the epitome of perfection as well...and a huge pervert. So, it's a battle of who can have the most sex...or who can be the most perverted...or just a sex-related battle, whatever.

Also, there's an "Author's notes" section below if you want to see what I was roughly going for when writing it.

Instrumental
The instrumental is a slightly modified version of this one.



Lyrics
(0:02)

ANIME VS ANYTHING RAP BATTLES



VS



BEGIN

Danny Sexbang: (0:21)
Girl, why'd you wanna spit against a master mustard-nutter ?

Aria worried you ain't got the curves this world-savior could savor ?

Is it the height of the sight from my space house that's bugging you ?

FYI, I own a dojo and a boat built for boning too...

When I whip out the footlong is when things start to get messy,

it turns space kaijus sissy and dominatrices submissive.

Now that your rival reeled in your crush, why hesitate to come with me ?

I just hope you know CPR with all this pussy I'm drowning in !

Shino Amakusa (0:40)
Raunchy rap rules, Article 6, Clause 9:

Don't rile the Fräuleins that can spit out raw lines,

'cause they'll crash the party and crush too-pushy booty hunters.

You can't hold three minutes against the scene's teen Queen, just try and daunt her !

Got that leadership ; got those top scores.

You got that tight tacky spandex and quite the criminal record:

Public masturbation, self-exposure, aggression, even murder...

Once you're kept behind them, spitting bars will become harder.

(Danny takes off his kimono to reveal his spandex costume, as his background changes to a concert stage)

Danny Sexbang (0:59)
SHUT UP !.......I have an erection !

Why don't you let this rockhard rockstar guide your newfound emotions ?

Come after class see Daddy Danny for a private sex ed session.

Lesson 1: Don't conceal feelings, straight up bust out the confession !

Just chill, stiff stick. Quit your Dick Elder gimmick.

Let the love blossom, and the kinky be King !

But if you're still on your tsun side after all I've been tryin',

Then taste those killer rhymes by Ninja Brian !

...........................

........................OH!

Shino Amakusa (1:23)
Trying to teach tricks to the Kama Sutra Amakusa ?

No bounds, I'll go wild like I was porking on Hanukkah !

'Cause Hata's got some scuttlebutts 'bout Avidan's real sexual deeds:

a small D'd D&D dweeb who couldn't dream of seeing double D's !

Now suck deez ! (Suzu: You're emptying your funds with so much compensating.)

With my commune we stack volumes and two seasons of pure mating.

Try to top that with your net-trapped attempts at comedy.

It seems my ice cold fanserving just dwarfed Not-So-Grumpy !

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE, FGTS

ANIME VS ANYTHING RAP BATTLES

Author's notes
So, that battle was actually quite a challenge to write, because, since I love both those characters, I wanted to try my best to keep their personalities as faithful as possible. But how the fuck do you make two straight sex addicted characters, one female and the other male, battle each other ? Especially Shino, since her character is more complex: she tries her best to act seriously, but just can't help having perverted thoughts. Well, like I said, I tried my best, and I actually had some sort of blueprint for that battle (that actually evolved as I wrote the battle):

Dan's first verse: He boasts and tries to seduce Shino with what he's bragging about.

Shino's first verse: She tries to seem authoritarian and condemns Dan's lack of respect for private boundaries.

Dan's second verse: He acts as a guide for Shino who's still new to sex, condemns her condamnation of expressing one's love and gives her a last chance to join him.

Shino's second verse: Fuck it, she stops trying to hide her perverted side, while still rejecting Dan's advances.

Meanings
Danny Sexbang:

Girl, why'd you wanna spit against a master mustard-nutter ?

("To nut" means to ejaculate. Therefore the "mustard" is a euphemism for Dan's sperm. In rap terms, to spit means to rap, but with the nutting reference in thesame line, it can also be seen as a double-entendre that would imply that Dan shot his nut in Shino's mouth and she spat it. But since Dan is a "master" at ejaculating, he's saying that there's no reason for her to do that. Welp, I'd say that's a nice start.)

Aria worried you ain't got the curves this world-savior could savor ?

''(Wordplay between "are ya" ("are you") and Aria, a character in Seitokai Yakuindomo. In the show, Shino is often self-conscious about her chest and is jealous of Aria, who, on the other hand, has a very developed body. Dan (who often portrays himself as a savior of the world in his own songs) is asking if the reason for Shino wanting to battle him is that she's insecure and fears she doesn't have a good enough body to please him.)''

Is it the height of the sight from my space house that's bugging you ?

(According to the Ninja Sex Party song Dragon Slayer, Dan does indeed own a space mansion. This line references Shino's fear of heights, as well as her fear of bugs with the wordplay on "bugging".)

FYI, I own a dojo and a boat built for boning too...

''(FYI: For you information. Reference to "FYI I wanna F your A", a Ninja Sex Party song. According to other songs, Dan also owns a dojo (The Sacred Chalice (Part 1 of 4)) and a boat ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qmU9JLTDy0 Road Trip. Alliteration in [b] because why not.)''

When I whip out the footlong is when things start to get messy,

("To whip out" means to suddenly take out or present. It is often used while refering to the penis. A footlong is a type of sandwich that is one foot-long (duh). It implies that Danny has a long penis, while referencing the Ninja Sex Party song "The Ultimate Sandwich!".)

it turns space kaijus sissy and dominatrices submissive.

''(The "space kaijus" part is a reference to the Ninja Sex Party song Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma, which is about two giant monsters from space. "Sissy" is a slang for "effeminate" or "cowardly". Within the context of sex, it usually refers to a man adopting a sterotypical feminine behavior, and is more often present in BDSM. Still within BDSM, a dominatrix (plural: dominatrixes or dominatrices) is a woman who takes the sadistic role in sadomasochistic sexual activities. Dan says that just the sight of his penis would make absolutely anyone submit to him. Also, because Shino can seem quite cold on the outside, some could call her a dominatrix.)''

Now that your rival reeled in your crush, why hesitate to come with me ?

(It is strongly hinted at that Shino has feelings for Takatoshi Tsuda, the main male character. Uomi, another Seitokai Yakuindomo character, is the student council president of another nearby school, and while she and Shino get along well because of their similar personalities, even Uomi says herself that she considers Shino a rival in a way. That is mostly due to them both having an interest in Tsuda. However, Uomi and Tsuda became relatives when they discovered at a wedding they both attended that the bride was Uomi's cousin and the groom was Tsuda's. After that, Uomi started calling Tsuda by his first name (which is usually only done between close people in Japan) and asked him to call her Onee-chan (big sister), thus getting even closer to him than Shino has. Danny says that since Tsuda is now taken by Uomi, there is no reason for Shino to not join him. Also, easy double entendre on "come".)

I just hope you know CPR with all this pussy I'm drowning in !

(To "drown in pussy" means to have a lot of female sexual partners. Danny is usually seen surrounded by multiple women in a lot of NSP videos, and having Shino join in would only make the puss-o-meter increase. Dan therefore hopes that she knows CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) a first aid emergency procedure that can be used in the case of a literal drowning. I dunno, it just sounded like a silly line Dan could say :P)

Shino Amakusa:

Raunchy rap rules, Article 6, Clause 9:

''(At the beginning of each Seitokai Yakuindomo episode, right before the opening, Shino introduces a rule of the Ousai Academy Student Council, with the paragraph (or clause) corresponding to the episode number, and the article to the season (only used during season 2, as there hasn't been more than two yet). Here's the video of the rules from the second season: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_-TfkW5cMI . Also "6" and "9". 69. Hehe... Also also, since it's a rap battle, she's presenting "rap rules", and since it's a sexy battle, they're "raunchy rap rules", raunchy also being the type of comedy both NSP and Seitokai Yakuindomo do (really, the main reason I used "raunchy" here is to have a nice alliteration in [r], but shh, don't tell anyone))''

Don't rile the Fräuleins that can spit out raw lines,

''(To "rile" means to annoy or irritate. In german, a "Fräulein" is basically a lady (toootally didn't just put it there for the rhyme, that's crazy talk). Shino says that it's a rule not to irritate ladies such as herself that have rapping skills, as she explains why in the next line.)''

cause they'll crash the party and crush too-pushy booty hunters.

(To "crash a party" means to show up to a party uninvited (and often unwelcome), referring of course to the "Ninja Sex Party" (I'd crash that party too to be honest). Wordplay on "bounty hunter" and "booty hunter", because, again, why not. To be "pushy" means to be arrogant, which Dan's character totally is, but since it comes from "push" (incite), it could also mean in this case that Dan forces his "love" down people's throat too much, which can be unwelcome.)

You can't hold three minutes against the scene's teen Queen, just try and daunt her !

(Reference to the NSP song, Three Minutes of Ecstasy. Double entendre on "hold", which means to remain secure or intact without breaking or giving way, but within sex context, can also mean to keep having sex without coming. As they're both from entertainment (specifically comedy) and she's a teenager, Shino calls herself the "scene's teen Queen" and dares Dan to fite her m8.)

Got that leadership ; Got those top scores.

(Shino is the student council president in her high school, but also was also as well back in elementary school, and she seems to display natural leader qualities. She also excels in acedmics and actually scored first during midterms (it is unknown if she does have the top scores in the whole school, but it wouldn't surprise me if she did).)

You got that tight tacky spandex and quite the criminal record:

(On the other hand, Dan often wears a blue spandex costume in his Ninja Sex Party videos and would most likely be arrested for the shit he does in his those, which Shino lists in the next line)

Public masturbation, self-exposure, aggression, even murder...

(All those are indeed things that Danny did in NSP videos, the first one especially referencing Next To You.)

Once you're kept behind them, spitting bars will become harder.

("To spit bars" means "to rap". To be behind bars also means to be in jail. Since Dan would be arrested for a lot of his actions, he'd be kept in jail, and wouldn't really be able to boast by rapping.)

Danny Sexbang:

SHUT UP !.......I have an erection !

(Direct reference to the Ninja Sex Party song Everybody Shut Up (I Have an Erection). Danny interrupts Shino to tell her this important information.)

Why don't you let this rockhard rockstar guide your newfound emotions ?

("Rockhard" is a slang for "erect". Danny assumes that his erection awoke emotions in Shino that she never felt before. He thus acts as a guiding figure, which implies the he's imposing himself as superior to her.)

Come after class see Daddy Danny for a private sex ed session.

(In the first episode of Seitokai Yakuindomo, it is revealed that one of the reasons Shino is interested in Tsuda (the main male character) is to learn "information not covered in health classes". Danny thus invites her to come see him "after class" for a private "sex ed session" (since the anime is set in a high school) to teach her about sex in more...detail, while still acting as a teacher. It is a spread idea that some girls like to call their male partners "daddy" during sex. It also keeps setting Dan as the leading figure.)

Lesson 1: Don't conceal feelings, straight up bust out the confession !

(The "Lesson 1" is a reference to the NSP video Sex Training in which a robotic voice says "Lesson 1" and "Lesson 2" during the song. The confession of one's love to another is a common trope in rom-com animes, with the character usually having difficulty bringing themselves to do it, just like Shino does with Tsuda. Danny therefore tells her that she shouldn't conceal her feelings and instead openly admit them like he (excessively) does. He also refers to her perveted thoughts that she tries (with no success) to contain.)

'''Just chill, stiff stick. Quit your Dick Elder gimmick.'''

("Dick Elders" are characters in the NSP song 6969. They are tyrants from the year 6969 who forbid any sex (or even love) related stuff to keep control over Earth. Dan compares Shino to them because of her cold and authoritarian behavior (sometimes even prohibiting lovey stuff in the school too), and tells her to "chill" or relax while calling her a "stiff stick", as in a disciplinarian person (but also of course as a double entendre for an erect penis). Even though, Dan knows that this is just a front and thus calls it a "gimmick".)

Let the love blossom, and the kinky be King !

(Dan tells Shino to let go of her aforementioned behavior and let love develop and "the kinky be King", kinks being unusual sexual preferences (more broadly, fetishes).)

But if you're still on your tsun side after all I've been tryin',

(A "tsundere" is a popular trope character in anime that describes someone (usually a girl) who acts cold and even hostile towards someone else before gradually showing a warmer side over time. This could describe Shino as she acts cold as well, but is shown to have feelings for Tsuda. The word is derived from "tsun tsun" (to turn away in disgust) and "dere dere" (to become "lovey dovey"). Therefore if Shino is still on the "tsun side" of "tsundere", even after all Dan has "been tryin'", it would mean that she's still hostile towards him and rejects his advances.)

Then taste those killer rhymes by Ninja Brian !

(Since Shino still doesn't give in to Dan's seduction, he decides to deliver the final blow. Ninja Brian is the second half of Ninja Sex Party. His character is a ninja and a silent assassin obsessed with murdering people ("killer rhymes", heh).)

...........................

(...........)

........................OH!

(.......DAMN SON!)

Shino Amakusa:

Trying to teach tricks to the Kama Sutra Amakusa ?

''(The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Hindu text famous for being a record of many sex positions (thought apparently, only about 20% of it is about that). In response to Dan presenting himself as the teaching figure, Shino Amakusa says she already knows a great deal about sex, which fits with her actual intelligence and knowledge in the series.)''

No bounds, I'll go wild like I was porking on Hanukkah !

''(Danny Sexbang is, in real life and in his songs, Jewish, andHanukkah is a Jewish holiday (often associated with Christmas as they happen around the same time. And I swear to god, as I'm writing this, I'm only just now realizing that the outro to Moses vs Santa Claus is a reference to the menorah. Holy shit what). "Porking" is an informal term for "having sex" (usually used by males, but it apparently seems to work for females too, so ye). So Shino says that she's gonna go wild without limits like she was having sex on a religious holiday. BUT, double meaning: eating pork is prohibited in Judaism but it also means that not even religious prohibitions are gonna limit her (it was mostly because I thought it was a funny wordplay though).)''

Cause Hata told me juicy stuff 'bout Avidan's real sexual deeds:

(Ranko Hata is character in Seitokai Yakuindomo who's the Head of the Newspaper Club. She is almost never seen without her camera and shows a complete lack of moral when it comes to getting scoops. "Scuttlebutt" is as slang that means "rumor" or "gossip". I only learned about that word recently, but when I saw it, I totally wanted to put it in this battle. I mean, fucking "scuttlebutt" ! Trivia: the line was already written before, but it said "juicy stuff" instead. Avidan is Danny Sexbang's real last name, his full name being Leigh Daniel Avidan. So by saying his actual name, Shino steps out of the fictional dimension of his character and attacks his real-life self. She thus says that Hata gave her information about Dan's true sexual background, which she talks about in the next line.)

a small D'd D&D dweeb who couldn't dream of seeing double D's !

''(In real life, Dan isn't really the sex machine his character is (or at least he wasn't. Not like I know anything about his current sex life): for instance, he had his first kiss at 17 and lost his virginity in college, when he was 23 (which is more than I can say for a lot of people, including me, but we're still far from the Danny that crushes pussy left and right since he came out of one). He was also a huge nerd as a teenager and enjoyed Dungeons & Dragons (often abbreviated as D&D), the stereotypical nerdy activity in the 80s-90s. DD, also called double D, is a bra size, often considered to be worn by big breasted women (though it actually all depends on the band size, but that's usually how it's marketed). D is often the abbreviation for "dick", meaning that Dan would have a small penis (also mostly there for the alliteration. I really like those, man).)''

'''Now suck deez ! (Suzu: You're emptying your funds with so much compensating.)'''

''("Deez" is usually used to imply "deez nuts", meaning "these testicles". Suzu Hagimura is a character in Seitokai Yakuindomo, and while it's not her trait the series focuses the most on, she's the student council treasurer and therefore takes care of the funds. Compensation is the action or process of awarding someone money as a recompense for loss, injury, or suffering, or just as a salary. This money would thus be taken from the treasury of the company. In psychology, compensation is also described as the process of concealing or offsetting a psychological difficulty by developing in another direction. It is mostly used on the Internet as a joke: the most common case is when someone is seen with big guns or driving a big car, they're usually said to be compensating for having a small penis. Because of the aforementioned smallness of Dan's genitalia and his lack of success with female counterparts, Suzu says that he's compensating with the character he created, Danny Sexbang. It therefore plays on the two definitions of the word by saying that he's compensating so much that he's emptying the treasury from its money.)''

With my commune we stack volumes and two seasons of pure mating.

(Shino assembles the wide cast of characters from Seitokai Yakuindomo with her by calling it a commune. The volumes refer to the the 13 mangas their stories are grouped in, and the two seasons refer to the anime. In the animal realm, "mating" refers to the action of animals coming together to breed, but it can be used informally for humans having sex (since both NSP and Seitokai Yakuindomo's humor is based on sex). It's also a wordplay on the Mating Season, the seasonal period when a female animal's estrous cycle is active, signaling animals to mate.)

Try to top that with your net-trapped attempts at comedy.

(Meanwhile, Ninja Sex Party and Danny's success is kind of only limited to what they did on the Internet (or the "Net"), which is why Shino says they're "trapped" on it. She also diminishes his comedy's quality by calling it "attempts" at comedy. Also, alliteration in [t]. Always gotta have one.)

It seems my ice cold fanserving just dwarfed Not-So-Grumpy !

''(Wordplay between "serving" (whooping someone's ass) and "fanservice", a method often used in anime aimed at pleasing the audience, usually being sexual elements (girls in bikinis and all that kind of stuff), which is expected in series like Seitokai Yakuindomo (though surprisingly, it isn't really present, except when it's meant to be very obvious for comedy). Apart from being in Ninja Sex Party, Danny is also the second half of the Internet gaming show Game Grumps: Not-So-Grump (the second half being Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson, Grump). There is also a wordplay between Not-So-Grump and Grumpy, one of the seven dwarfs in the Disney film "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", highlighted by the use of the verb "dwarf" (to cause to seem small or insignificant in comparison). Also, double meaning: cold temperatures ("ice cold") causes the penis to shrink, or "dwarf", to stay warm while keeping the rest of your body warm as well.)''

Poll
Who won ? Danny Sexbang Shino Amakusa Ninja Brian