User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/The Marx Brothers vs Mark, Bob & Wade. Rap Battle

did you think i was done posting shitty rap battles all the time just because erbohorror's finished

you silly sausage you

hello everyone and welcome back to Epic Rap Battles of No One Asked For This. ive been watching a lot of fucking prop hunt lately. im a probably unhealthily large piece of markiplier garbage and this idea popped into my head so instead of taking the concept to jude or wonder who would be able to do it responsibly without being probably biased, i grabbed this thing by the pussy and did it myself.

so in today's battle, the iconic mustache and glasses that paved the path for comedy trios from the 1980's to 1990's, Groucho Marx, raps against popular YouTube Let's Player and video game commentator, Markiplier , to bridge the generation gap between iconic mustache-and-glasses-wearing comedians who act as leaders for their respective trios that also include two former members that aren't as frequent, including Marx's brothers, Chico and the silent Harpo, and Markiplier's good friends Bob and Wade. It's also a match up between witty, scripted humor vs vulgar improv. Marx vs Mark. ok you get the point

im gonna slow down on battle posting after the next one i promise you guys will get a break from me lmfao, id like to write something nice for christmas but idk how dedicated i am to that. this battle's been in the making since may so lmao

enjoy

Beat


Groucho in dark gray

Chico in light gray

Harpo breakdancing in the background

Mark in pink

Bob in purple

Wade in red

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HOLY FUCK A FLATS AVATAR ISNT IN THIS ONE!



VS!



BEGIN!

The Marx Bros.:
Action! Who let these has-beens on the set? Let’s scare ‘em out!

Pink Pewdiepie and Pals think they’ll pass comedy’s Paramount

With embarrassing tap-dance and eye-rolling offensive accents?

Like your first channel’s absence, that doesn’t make a lick of Ad-sense!

You’ll Murder! your own livers for the sake of a couple snickers!

They’d be better as Drunk MCs, but he can’t hold his liquor!

Better find the Blacksmith, perhaps he could provide some patches,

So that you can stitch back how drastic your audience’s age-gap is!

'''You can’t beat the classics! We practically invented slapstick!'''

'''Immaculate acts and scripts! Your’s is just “Fuck! Ass! Dick!”'''

You’re a couple bad kids who yap big, but our influence is massive

Whereas I couldn’t see your impact with a pair of Groucho glasses

A producer and a lawyer? (and Wade!) You could’ve made the top percent,

Then you turned on the webcams and began a Dark Descent!

Our rhymes straight like an arrow, you’d better Make-A-Wish, doc!

What’s the password? Ask OurMine! It’s “Filet ‘o Fischbach!”

Mark, Bob, & Wade :
Good evening ladies and gentlemen and all kinds of beings,

I’m Wilford Warfstache! Reporting live from the crime scene,

With an exclusive interview with the mime team from the nineties,

Whose rhyme schemes are so behind me we’ll throw them a livestream!

You’re on with BONER CAST! The ratings aren’t the only thing going up!

‘Cause if you’re looking for the jewels, then grab hold of deez Cocoanutz!

We out-wit the shit you rip from scripts while rocking improv drunk,

So watch us school a couple of script-lipping tools, welcome back to Prop Hunt.

Check how many lives my bucks saved! While you keep every dime you cunts made,

You’ll flop like your feature film, ‘cause we already beat the Duck Game!

The Marx are in for a red scare, these dudebros are too pro!

And Very-Organized-Sneak-Thieving your win from right under your huge nose!

Sure you scored a few shows, but it's not like you'd know

Your main group croaked by the time your best success got half its views, yo!

We chew through foes like you chodes! (You chew chodes?) It won't be before long

(Dude, no.) That you drop to your knees and press B to Blow me, you morons!

The Marx Bros.:
No surprise they rap like Animal Crackers, from the King of Bears and Squirrels

Our biggest impending bad time isn’t your sad rhymes, it’s your fangirls!

But we’ll be here all night, folks! So be sure to tune in,

You won’t want to miss tonight’s entertainment, it’s a family reunion!

Gummo & Zeppo :
Enough Monkey Business, I’m tired of hearing Markiplier Sing Badly,

Them big words from the stickler who’s getting Septic with Jackie!

Playing “Who’s Your Daddy” with his laddies before getting sappy,

And crying crocodile tears to keep the subscribers Love Happy!

You’ll forfeit like a rage game and still find a way to blame Wade,

Or claim it was your frame rate, but our IceDarkRoasts are Grade A!

So Marki-move out the way before it stabs you back in the rear,

Your verses Turbo Diss-mounted, you could have been an engineer!

Mark, Bob, & Wade :
Shut up, Bert! Your words get Shirked when I know best!

Though these Bros are prone to bet, they’d better CyndaGo West!

‘Cause less than 60 Seconds left and no manual to help you stop this bomb,

Pack up your tea and crumpets for our friends across the pond!

jacksepticeye & Yamimash :
You hairy bitch! Suck seven - no, suck EIGHT dicks!

I pave over black-faced twits like it’s a Day at the Racist’s!

Ash’s raps PAX a real scare! And if you want to fuck with me,

It won’t be your cup of tea when I put you three in Happy Wheel-chairs!

You’re looking Tim-id, ‘cause we could fit your style in a Tiny Box,

T h e y ’ r e t h e e n t r e p r e n e u r s, but we fire losers LIKE A BOSS!

Feels good to be a winner! Let’s celebrate with a high five,

Pneumonia will see YOU in the next episode! BYE-BYE!

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Outro
Who won? The Marx Brothers Mark, Bob, Wade, Jack & Yami