User blog:CrikestyRMG/E.T. vs Superman 64 - CRIKESTY RAP BATTLES - S1E1

E.T. vs Superman 64
Connection: Notoriously bad games about aliens

Ideal Cast:

WoodenHornets as E.T.

Mancha as Superman 64

Me as Marty McFly

JMBRaps as Jason Voorhees

Mat4yo as The Doctor

The Battle
CRIKESTY RAP BATTLES

 E.T.

 VS

 SUPERMAN 64

 BEGIN! E.T.: Yo it’s E.T., comin’ straight from the 80’s

 Against a Superman who dies when he doesn’t fly through rings

 I don’t have any combat that makes me unreliable

 Or any game breaking glitches that make me unplayable

 My story’s simple, try to get back to my planet

 While your story’s so awful that no one could have ever planned it

 I’ll throw you into a pit and you’ll meet your doom

 I’m hated by all, but I still sold more than you

 Heck, I’m not even a flop, I’m a legend who’s well-known

 So how about you take out your cartridge and go phone home

 Superman:

 I’m gonna crash your spacecraft in the night, starry

 You’re the worst thing to ever come out of the Atari

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> I’m Superman, the Man of Steel

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> And when I beat you, Elliot won’t be here to heal

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> You

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> And that’s not a lie

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Your game helped make the industry die

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Once your game got panned, it was returned by every mother

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> You would’ve ended it all without the Mario Brothers

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Marty McFly:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> I’d rather have it all die than have your game released

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Out of all us three, I suck the least

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Collectin’ clocks, bowling balls, skateboards and more

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> While your games were a bore and made everyone snore

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> E.T.’s legacy fades more than my photograph

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> And Superman’s graphics make me wanna laugh

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Well, it’s almost ten, gotta get back to my year

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Tough luck guys! It looks like you are stuck here

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Jason Voorhees:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> You got back to the 80’s Marty, but you’re out of luck

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> You’ve entered Camp Crystal Lake, now I’ll murder all you shmucks

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Be prepared to face bats, wolves, and zombies

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> I’ll stab you in your throats and then hide the bodies

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> I’m unbeatable, no way you could harm me

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> So go and gather your aliens or your Justice League army

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> I’ll slaughter them all, so you best be ready

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Because I’m murdering even more children than Freddy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> The Doctor:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Well hello, I’m the Doctor, Returning to Earth

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Although I’d rather Evacuate because you four are the worst

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> With a sonic screwdriver Wiimote I’m cooler than Marty could ever be

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> And I’ll stomp Jason into the floor down to the mezzanine

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> E.T.’s freaky, why’s he collecting pieces of a phone?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> That’s nothing at all like the movie, you know

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> I’ll take my crystals, and deflect Superman’s disses

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> But they’re pretty much harmless, so it’s all very useless

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Every time any one of you rap, you just degenerate

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Anyways, just try to kill me, I’ll just regenerate!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> WHO WON?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> WHO'S NEXT?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> YOU DECIDE!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> CRIKESTY RAP BATTLES!