User blog:MetalFire/Metal Rap Battles 14: Sigmund Freud vs Freddy Krueger

Welcome to the 14th Metal Rap Battles, Enjoy~. Thanks to Gir 5 Life for revising my Bill Cipher lines and Coupe for the badass cover art.

(We see Freddy in a straitjacket laying on a couch and Sigmund enters than sits on a chair)

Freddy: Let me out of this jacket you old bastard!!

Sigmund: Ohhh I can not do that, we need a talk child

Freddy: What?!

(Sigmund takes out a cigar and a boom box than the beat plays)

Sigmund:

According to these reports you're Freddy Kruger, Am I right?

Freddy:

Yes, you may be an acclaimed old man, but I'll still put up a fight

Sigmund:

Now silence Charles as with Psychoanalysis I'll point out everything wrong about you

Freddy:

Gahh!! With my powers of the dream demons I'll smoke you like your Cigars and slash you too

Sigmund:

Quit being in denial Fred, you're just a wannabee Boogeyman, and the papers stick to it

Your dreams can't affect my subconscious, I may not know genetics, but I can tell you're from a Maniac

Now you need to understand your methods are just an illusion from your imagination

Not even your own damn street knows you anymore so fade away you abomination

Freddy:

Never! I'm your New Nightmare and I'll give you the real definition of scary

I'm going to target you even harder than Feminists to your shitty theory's

I've been to Hell and tricked that dumbass Jason, so your hypnosis can't affect me

How can I take your words seriously when you aren't even the father of Psychology

Sigmund:

The truth I dish out are so cold that your sweater can't protect you from Psychotherapy

You've repressed yourself for too long now to destroy you for good call me Maggie

Your whole retaliation to this session is a fail like you on TV, Understood?

Quite frankly Fredrick I burned you worse than the people of SpringWood!!

(Freddy evaporates and goes back to hell. The beat pauses and a friend of Freud comes up)

Carl Jung: Well done Sigmund

Sigmund: Ah thank you Carl

Carl Jung: Can you read this, since I don't know Latin

(Carl hands Sigmund a big brown journal and Sigmund opens it)

Sigmund: Oh yes, this is simple. It says "Triangle, I invoke you. I come to the defensive barrier of the mind. I will see the barrier destroyed."

(Suddenly a yellow floating Triangle with an eye comes out and the beat resumes)

Sigumnd:

Oh god! Who are you! Even my ID, Ego, and Super Ego can't decipher!

Bill:

Hello puny mortal! I'm a gentleman who terrorizes the Mystery Shack, Yo I'm Bill Cipher

Sigmund:

You a gentleman please! You're an angry Triangle who can't even grasp reality!

Bill:

Remember now reality is an illusion! Just like your success in Neurology!!

Sigmund:

I went to Med school so I got the sick rhymes and I'll snap this Dorito in half

You thinking you can go through my defense mechanisms, Bill you make me laugh

You're no all seeing eye, you just waste your time targeting young children

Yet you were ordered around by a spoiled one, so how can I consider you an evil villain

Bill:

Ohhh nice try mortal! But I'll break you to pieces like I did to Dippers PC!! (HA)

Plus what kind of freak studied Eels genitals! I'll be watching you since you can't beat me!!

With a snap of a finger *Snaps* I'll cause Nightmares and possess everyone in your society!!

This will be your Sock Opera when I burn you even deadlier than the Nazis to your studies!!

Sigmund:

Enough of the rubbish! Your personality is flatter than your shape and quit being a brat!!

Your death drive will increase tenfold after I eradicate you like Xyler and Craz!

This imaginary Isosceles monster has been forgotten while I'm still standing tall

Just like the laws of gravity your chances against me will greatly fall!

(Bill disappears and the beat pauses again.)

Sigmund: Ugh I need a nap

(Sigmund lays on his couch and falls asleep. Than we see Sigmund on an empty field of grass and the landscape starts to slowly loses it's color)

Sigmund: What the hell is this!

(Hypno's face appears and the beat resumes)

Sigmund:

Freddys Dead and Bills banished! So this Creatures Libido will be destroyed!!

Hypno:

I've got a Nasty Plot to Disable your brain, so don't try to fight Freud

Sigmund:

This is Hypnos Naptime since your rapping sounds like you're Drowzee

Hypno:

My Future Sight is sensing that you have no chance against me!

Sigmund:

I've changed the field of Psychology forever!! So out-smarting me? Don't try

You eating my dreams and taking me away? Your actions are just a soothing Lullaby

Hypno:

You must have Confusion Sigmund and my Nightmares will surely take you on a trip

The amount of my victims will grow faster than the Cancer on your lip

Sigmund:

Your flow is more garbage than your base stats, No wonder you're not on anyone's team

You conquering my mind and winning this battle, you must be in your dreams!

(The beat stops and the dream gets all twisted and Spinney. Than Sigmund wakes up)

Sigmund: *Breathes heavily* My god.... well this can make for a good book

Who Won??? Sigmund Freud Freddy Bill Cipher Hypno