User blog:TKandMit/Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains News with Rocket and Groot

''*A camera turns on, filming as Rocket Raccoon adjusts its position. Rocket then takes a step back as Baby Groot appears, climbing onto his friend's shoulder.*''



I am Groot.

And I am Rocket.

I am Groot!

That’s right, this is the Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains. Some weird-ass rap show written by that Earth guy, TKandMit.

I am Groot?

Uh, no, Groot. He’s just one guy.

I am Groot.

Oh, no. It’s a nickname type thing. “TK” and “Mit” are just two different names that he uses.

I am Groot.

I didn’t say it wasn’t stupid, I’m just explaining- hey, we gotta get on with this announcement.

I am Groot! I am Groot. I am Groot.

Yep, that’s what everyone’s been asking. “When’s the new season, Miiiiit?”, “Where’s HaaaaV, TK?”, “Draculaaa vs Diooooo…”

I am Groot.

Yeah, they are pretty annoying. Anyway, to answer your questions, TK has been working hard--

I am Groot!

What do you mean, “You’re winking with the wrong eye!”? Okay, yeah. Dude’s done barely anything. But he is working a little bit, slowly but surely. He’s got one battle done out of the next eight.

I am Groot?

Yeah, eight. He’s doing that weird “act” shit again, breaking the season up into three parts, for a total of twenty-four battles.

I am Groot?

Yeah, our battle will be in the first act. Against some totally-not-cool-as-us Earth dudes, I bet.

I am Groot.

Of course Star-Munch is gonna be in it. Why wouldn’t he?

I am Groot!

‘Cause he already fought Captain Kirk and Han Solo? Nah, he’ll still be in our battle.

I am Groot.

I don’t know why he gets two battles and we only get one! Whatever. What else?

I am Groot?

Ah, yeah. Suggestions. See, guys, TK’s a lazy and unimaginative bum with shitty hair. While he’s got most of this season planned out, there’s a few missing pieces here and there and would like some more suggestions. So yeah, if you reply to this message, he’ll see them and probably consider and may even do some of them. So, there’s that.

I am Groot.

What’s that? Hints? Hey, Drax, you wanna take this one?

Dracula vs Dio is happening!

Drax, no! You can’t just say it!

Why not?

We’re supposed to leave, like, clues about the battles so that they can guess what they are!

Who?!

The Earthlings!

Earthlings? Peter, get in here! Rocket’s sending a message to your people!

Damn it, Rocket, what have I told you about sending messages to Earth? A talking raccoon freaks people out and little kids just think you’re cute.

I am cute!

I am Groot!

I hate my life.