User blog:JKGame/Super Smash Bros Ultimate Fighter's Pass Royale: Epic Rap Battles of the Universe

PREVIOUSLY IN THE FIRST SUPER SMASH BROS ULTIMATE NEWCOMER ROYALE...

"So I was invited into Smash Bros but was left out of this battle? Hmph! Maybe next time... - Joker."

And now more than an year has past since that battle.

Hello and welcome to my very first battle of the year! I know it's a bit strange to go from one royale to another one, but I personally think this one will be more special than Lucina vs Future Trunks. Not because I'm gonna be innovative with the format, but because I feel I have more passion for this project than the other one.

This was in production all the way back from 2018, but I really started writing for it rather recently since all of the characters that were gonna be in this were dictated by who was actually gonna be part of the first Fighters Pass. This meant quite a number of scrapped characters (Sora, Frisk, Doomguy, Neptune, etc.) as they were deconfirmed for this batch of DLC. This also meant scrapping lines I planned for those characters as well and waiting around to see all of them get announced. I did, however, still thought up various lines for each characters as I took part in this Smash Train.

Now as for the characters for Fighters Pass Vol. 2 (Who have not been announced as of this post.), I am not sure what kind of battle I'll be doing with them. It definitely won't be another royale as I feel that'd be tiresome. Some ideas I tossed around was putting them up against the DLC fighters from Playstation All-Stars or the first Fighters Pass characters. I'll figure it out eventually. It's gonna take two years for all of them to get revealed, so I have plenty of time.

I had a lot of fun putting this together, so sit back and enjoy this massive battle. Let's bring more life to this wiki.

"It seems that fighting physically just isn't enough for these fighters as Joker from Persona 5, Hero from Dragon Quest, Banjo and Kazooie from their eponymous series, Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury, and Byleth from Fire Emblem Three Houses all duke it out in a battle of raps to see who is truly the worthiest of being in Super Smash Bros." Oh yeah, and it'd be nice to see your rankings of each rapper from worst to best. It's not a requirement, though.

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!



BEGIN!

Joker:
Wake Up, Get Up, and Get Out! This is Joker, here to Steal the Show!

Getting up in your Palace, there's no Negotiating with this Shadow!

A Game Awards star, a superior thief than your little friend Erik!

After this, you should go change your title from Erdrick to Er-dick!

I'm stunning and cunning! Make like Ryuji's track team and start running!

Leaks got people predicting you, while they never saw me coming!

You went to Heliodor and got accused of destroying the world by the king?

I would've done the same had I first seen how you looked, Android 17!

As a phantom thief, I'll evade your attacks as if I was a Liquid Metal Slime!

Thwack's not enough! I'll just pull out Makarakarn as your Last Surprise!

Your Jade-d series' stuck in the past, couldn't get past the MIDI crap

I took your tropes, put a new spin on them, and now I've stealing hearts of fans!

You're considered the king of RPGs? I'll reveal your true form as the king of RNG!

While I've been dominating EVO, you got yourself banned by the Aussies!

Coming up shorter than Veronica, you're the lamest hero I've ever seen!

Now I'm running circles around this douche like in my victory screens!

Hero:
The true Hero Draws Near, so I suggest you Don't Be So Cocky

Try to dodge my attacks all you want. My spells aren't like a piece of Chalk-y!

Look at this, a teen running around playing pretend with his toy gun

You should be thanking me! I laid the foundation games like yours are based on!

Your raps are like your cat Morgana, 'cause they're putting me in a Snooze!

I'll Take Over your show now, leave you with less screen time than Haru!

Face it, we all know you're just some dorky delinquent Beneath The Mask!

Your chances of winning went like the servers upon your release: crashed!

I'm an icon in Japan, more deserving to be in than that prick Sora!

You're an icon for teen edgelords in black, we should call you Kylo Ren Amamiya!

Still think you'll be victorious? Those drugs must still be affecting your mind

Like the police, I'll be leaving you more red and black than your art design!

Seems to me that you didn't reach Rank 5 in spitting a decent Meta-verse!

'Cause trying to find a good line from you is like a Quest for a River in the Desert!

Clip your Wings of Rebellion, leave you Scrambling back to Shujin

Looks like the game is over for you, Joker! What a truly foolish end.

(A jiggy then falls into Joker's hand and both him and the Hero look at it while confused before looking to up to see a large figure falling. They barely avoid the thing, who is then revealed to be...)

Banjo & Kazooie:
Guh-huh! These clowns really think they're more deserving to be in Smash?

Now we're truly Raring to Go! Let's kick some weeb trash ass!

We've been requested to join this game all the way back in the 64 days

While you two only made it in just to help advertise your Switch games!

Hey, Mr. Hero! How does it feel getting overshadowed by us back at E3?!

Your Mumbo Jumbo rhymes were just retarded! That's right, Kotaku can't stop me!

Look, without us, fan disappointment would've just Spiraled out of control!

If you thought you'd be hype, then you're more shortsighted than that mole!

I Kirk-hope we don't need the Mighty Jinjo for you to get the point.

This student lets his own teacher call him "Master"? Hoo boy!

We're rocking these golden notes, Gettin' Jiggy Wit It on the beat!

Leaving these fools buried underneath! This was certainly a Rare treat!

???:
Hey, come on, come on!



Terry Bogard:
The King of Fighters has entered, and he's about to go hard!

Step to me and you're gonna Face the Fury of Terry Bogard!

Let's take this to the Streets, crank this brawl up to Eleven!

I'm used to having birds take the fall, so Kazooie's no problem!

But Are You Okay? I can't tell based on how Banjo's treating you

Slams you on the ground, I should report that bear for domestic abuse!

Double jab and a Power Dunk! Hit you with my Burn Knuckle!

I'd diss Nuts and Bolts, but that'd be far too-

Geese Howard:
-Predictabo!

Terry Bogard:
With better moves and style, I'll be leaving you greener with envy than that old Grunt!

If I wanted to fight a mammal and his bird buddy, I would've sparred with Duck Hunt!

Sad that Microsoft left you more neglected than Boggy did with his own family!

Really, I would've Stopped n' Swap you both for Master Chief or even Minecraft Steve!

Byleth:
You've just Failed-naught at raps. I expected more from someone from the streets

Now sit down and allow me to demonstrate on how to be killing the beat!

Got a goddess by my side, and she's nowhere near as annoying as Joker's cat

I thought they won't be adding more Echos yet here we have Ken with a hat

Beat this Hungry Wolf into submission, this Ashen Demon's one Helluva Boss

Let's have a true Nintendo rep Join the Smash House instead of another third-party slot!

This is no mock duel. With no hesitation, I'll make sure to school these fools

I rock Three Houses all at once, that's how you know that I rule!

It's quite funny how a basketball lover got dunked on by some Mii-me

Lacked the Art of Fighting so much you couldn't give Capcom a run for its money!

Left you whipped from my sword, now I shall celebrate my win with some tea

No matter how much hate I get, I'll still be a better choice than that freak Wa-

???:
WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Byleth:
What the-?!

Waluigi:
Shut up, shut up! I've had it with all your blah, blah, blah!

What good is the ultimate roster if there's still no wah, wah, WAH?!

Wanted a true Nintendo rep?! They could've put in the one and only Waluigi!

But instead, they decided to opt with yet another Fire Emblem-

(A piranha plant then chomps on Waluigi and spits him out of the battle.) 

Piranha Plant:
Screw off, you purple loser! You won't be overshadowing me again!

I've returned from last time! How's that for a taste of your own medicine?!

But that doesn't mean I'm on your side! I've got a bone to pick with you!

So why don't you pipe down and let this plant Pipe Up and take root!

Of all the character to end this pass, this is the one they went with?!

Not Dante or Doomguy, but yet another blue-haired anime swordsman?!

Two times in a row, the Mii Costumes had much more hype than Terry and you!

And the last time they cared about you both was when you were given a pair of boobs!

What's with Byleth's female form?! I thought Smash was meant for good boys and girls!

You'll never be as iconic as me! My fame's reached The Apex of the World!

I'll be the Bloom of Your Doom, so trying to stomp me flat's not ideal!

Not even my own Poison Breath is as toxic and putrid as your whole reveal!

???:
Alright, I believe that is enough from every single one of you.

(A large TV appears in front of our rappers and they all gather to look at it, confused. The TV turns on, revealing the man himself.)



Masahiro Sakurai:
That's right, everyone. The director of Smash himself is joining this fight

But I'm only coming down here so I can finally settle this pointless strife!

All this talk about who deserves to Smash more, so here's a hot take:

How about each and every one of you is worthy of joining this game!

You all have your qualities and an impact on gaming history

Complete with unique movesets that bring something new to the series!

Doesn't matter if you're famous or niche, it only matters if you're fun

And even then, you now have a chance to finally shine in the long run!

Now this job isn't easy. I've been part of this project for years

No breaks for me to have, and the finish line's certainly not near

But I'm doing this for the fans and my dear friend Iwata

I can't satisfy all, but I'll still try making this the perfect Smash!

Just remember that in the end, this kind of game can't happen again

All these universes colliding, together to fight until the end

Now if you excuse, I have more fighters to help join the fray

Have fun out in the battlefield, and I hope you enjoy your stay!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

Poll
I didn't put in Waluigi 'cause I know you guys are just gonna vote for him anyways lol.

Who won? Joker Hero Banjo & Kazooie Terry Bogard Byleth Piranha Plant Masahiro Sakurai