User blog:Hippie Rat/Thomas Jefferson vs Light Yagami

I don't watch anime but the connection for this battle is too amazing I had to do it. Hopefully I did okayish.

(Ryuk spoken cameos in parenthesis btw)

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Light Yagami vs Thomas Jefferson! Begin!

Thomas Jefferson:

I'm, a, polymath! An everyman's man!

This'll be the third time that the U.S. detonated your homeland.

I'm the most mellow fellow rocking Hemings like a bordello,

'Bargo weeb Donnie Darko then home chillin' Monticello.

The ruler of the new world, on Cartoon Network in my world,

Going more psychotic than any copycat fangirl.

You think you're a master? A Reaper? I call you a disaster,

I would say no homo but, then again, your last name backwards.

Light Yagami:

I ain't taking shit from a settler giving black men terrors whipping their skin to leather,

I'm about to fuck up another loser in a white sweater.

You wrote against the Intolerable Laws, then made them intolerable again,

Because your American citizens are free, if they happen to be white men.

Would you rather President or God? Eh, I think I have a hunch,

You look like a scientist knocked over the head with Ryuk's lunch.

I'll get your head on a plate barely worth half a dime,

It seems you seen the Light, and you've run out of time.

Thomas Jefferson:

Oh come on, you say you're not a criminal, but 兄 {ani}, you're a liar,

You're like the murderer version of Supa Hot Fire.

I'm in pursuit with your tactics unraveling, pouring over you like overcast,

Yo bro, I'll send your ass across the purchase and back.

Farming in Virginia, legislate Virginia, law tiller,

You're the L-Kira destroyed by the legacy of L, Kira.

(Well Light, it looks like you lost.) I'd take a tip from Joker here, (hey!)

Beat a sweet tooth, but your victory is far from Near. (Haha).

Light Yagami:

Hold on, Mozart called, he says he wants his wig back,

Genius mental capacity, got a knack and no lack of flak.

You skipped to a different bitch when you lost your girl,

I'm a pimp, giving orders. I'm a God! I, changed the world.

Got the face, got the name, don't need more to kill an adversary,

Barely buried and July 4th ain't done, ironic contrary.

Govern a land of carriages, the pitter-patter of horseshoe calk,

I'm your biggest fan, can I get your John Hancock? (Ha!)

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Poll
Who won? Thomas Jefferson Light Yagami