User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Battles of Fiction number 12 - Mario vs Link

Hello all. This is probably going to be the last one of these in a while as I am about to go away on holiday. This took lots of coding to get the colours all right. First off I should thank Trent and Jason for writing a verse each (for Link and Ness respectively). It's always a privilege to have such accomplished rappers help me write these and it has been an honour. As there has been a lot of excitement regarding the upcoming SSB game I thought I'd do a battle featuring some of the characters in the original game. I hope you all enjoy it and will read more of my battles (if you haven't already)

The Cast
EpicLLOYD as Mario (denoted by red )

PewDiePie as Link (denoted by green )

Ian Hecox as Pikachu (denoted by yellow )

Anthony Padilla as Ness (denoted by )

Nice Peter as Fox (denoted by )

EpicLLOYD as Slippy Toad (denoted by dark green )

Ray William Johnson as Kirby (denoted by pink )

EpicLLOYD as Captain Falcon (denoted by )

[[Nice Peter] as Samus Aran (denoted by orange )

The Battle
It's-a me Mario, I can beat you even without my brother

Leave this little green elf crushed by an Italian plumber

I've played your games, there's one thing I've never quite understood

How can you call yourself straight when you run around in a bunny hood

With a tip of my cap, and a twirl of my moustache

Realise this Link, you're about to be Super Smashed

Play your ocarina to reverse time, maybe you'll get another chance

You could rap faster on a horse, try Lon Lon Ranch

Goron, Zora, Deku, you tried and fought

I'm the star of MY games, now I'll beat you worse than Ganondorf

Got a crush on the princess but she just wants to be friends

Even with Four Swords, you couldn't beat me, this is the end

This is the latest incarnation of the Nintendo’s main silent hero,

To pound this pansy ass Italian man! Legend-1. Super-0!

I’m brave, and humble! I’m loyal to my cause!

You’re just in it for the cake and ass! I think you’re job and games have many flaws!

Sure, my game’s named after my princess but the title’s well deserved!

While some pink, blonde haired puckered peach is getting served!

You’re just going go-karting! Well, I guess you’re stuck in second!

Cause in this battle, you’re just paper! While I’m the ACTUAL Legend!

(Lightning comes from the sky and Pikachu appears)

PIKACHU spitting ice cold rhymes like my name is Candice

Hitting electric raps with relish and know as winner I will end this

I listen to your raps and they put me to sleep like Jigglypuff

Now let me take the control and switch these two off

I'll beat you Black and Blue and leave you Leaf Green from jealousy

An Italian in a hat and a boy without a fairy think they can beat me?

My raps are like an electric shock, prepare to be paralyzed

I spit fire type burns that will melt these ice types

Announcer: A new challenger has appeared....NESS

Guess who's here to save the world again, from your hideous rhymes!

Hit you outta the park, Ness'll make a Mess out of you big time!

So back off, Zelda, I'm ruling this royale like your name is Hyrule

And you must be high on yo' shrooms to join this Death Battle, you plumber tool!

Go back to playing with balls, you vermin rat, it's obvious you can't see

that I'll mentally scar you all, like I'm Giygas if you step up to me!

I'm a Monster, got the flows like the Loch Ness; I'll make you drown!

Against me, the kid rapper who's so fly, your raps are just EarthBound!

(A space ship flies in and Fox drops down from it)

From SNES to Wii U, I'm always shooting raps hot

So prepare to lose when you come up against the star Fox

I'm getting excited boss calm down Slippy Toad

And set up my blasters, ready to lock and load

I got ninja skills, moving faster than you can see

I move with grace through space, Darth Vader wants to be me

To beat you I don't even need to call on my buddy Lombardi

When you say you stand a chance you sound as crazy as Powalski

(A warp star falls from the sky, Kirby gets off)

Prepare for a nightmare as Kirby owns you all

I'll put you in a cooking pot and use it to win this brawl

All your games are repetitive, you do the same thing over and over again

And this 'Star Fox' has to rely upon his friends

Your fire flower attack only singes this pink hero

Ness is nothing, he gets beaten by a Spiteful Crow

I've faced worse in Dream Land, I'll beat you like Dedede

And thanks to recent advances your defeats in 3D

(Blue Falcon flies in and Samus and Captain Falcon jump out)

It's the girl from Metroid and the hero from F-Zero

Two bounty hunters to rap clear, you won't hear no echoes

We'll hit your pokeballs up like this is a game of pinball

Link's age is indefinite but we can determine he will win fuck all

I fly high in the sky like my namesake and a fox is my prey

Dude, Ness, we asked around who has even played your game

This is a lyrical race and you're all in last place

While I'm fighting off Ridley you're all a disgrace

Even Blood Falcon could triumph against this load of shìt

Knocking Mario, Link and Pikachu back with one critical hit

Use your Mother Brain this is a waste of my time

I'll get the Galaxy Mobile Platoon to arrest you for your crimes

Who won? Mario Link Pikachu Ness Fox Kirby Captain Falcon & Samus