User blog:Hippie Rat/Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine - Hippie Rat Battle Raps

Hey yo hi hello

Wow it’s been a while since I posted a battle.

And now they’re going to YouTube.

Oh boy. I can’t believe I’m finally doing this. I’m excited for what’s to come.



Lyrics
Freddy Krueger:

One, two, Freddy's coming for you...

Three, four, I'll blast your ass through the door

While you're reaching for the knob, stick a sword through your gob,

You can pray for it to stop, but /this/..is God.

I'm going to hurt ya, and then I'm going to hurt ya,

If I can't kill you, well I damn well then can burn ya,

And I'll hurt you for eternity if you go and diss with this

'Cause you're my rock, baby...and I'm your Sisyphus!

Because I cheat Death, bitch, eat bedbugs for breakfast,

And tear Edward Scissorhands through the fucking bedspread, bitch!

Your claws' about as worthless as the arcade game!

Man, I bring a primal fear when you hear my name!

It's Freddy Krueger! Ferocious as a cougar!

Flirtatious as a cougar! This bitch is just a kitten-hairdoer, bitch!

You think you're hot shit, bitch? Well, I doubt it,

So if you're a true animal then let me hear you Howlett.

Wolverine:

Let me make this crystal fucking clear,

I will string you up by your Star Trek ears,

And lift your horror gore show of a body off a fucking overpass.

I'm just teasing you. This won't be over fast.

Skip the lyrical licks and get a kersnikita up atcha,

I'll fillet you, stick you on a spit over a fire and blast ya.

I've won in every war since the day I was born,

And I'm about to be ankle-deep in Freddy blood on the floor.

They retcon your story every time you come back,

So what's your new origin for this battle rap?

This ugly-butt wise-ass with /my/ damn gimmick,

Must be the bastard child of Wade Wilson and a hundred other lunatics.

Anything you use to abuse me, I'll heal in a split second,

My claws will tear you up first and leave you split second.

Because my bones are reinforced just for when I run rampant on ya.

You couldn't make me fear you, bub - I'm adamant-ium.

Freddy Krueger:

You're not scared? You must not have heard,

I'm an all-powerful being! Welcome to my turf! Bitch!

Think you can beat me, bitch?! Not even in your dreams, bitch!

I can't be stopped, bitch! I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

You wanna talk canons, bitch? Your plots are so contrived,

At least I can use one claw glove to count my storylines.

You've died dozens of times, I'm sure that's worn ya,

Haven't I told you comic books was bad for ya?!

This is too easy! You Canadians are so soft.

You’ll probably apologize to me when your head gets chopped off!

I'll slay that whole mutant school - now those characters are fleshed out!

Let me grab my checklist, 'cause you're about to be X'd out. Bitch!

Wolverine:

That's well-done Freddy. Oh, and just to let you know:

I don't need no silly dream power. I'm foe enough on my own.

You think you know what makes me tick, but there's something you're missing -

I know what they do to pedophiles in prison.

This pizza-faced slayer ain't impressive, come on!

Your kill count was blown out by a fucking leprechaun!

Some clown prince of Elm Street, but frankly, you bore me.

What dumbass couldn't hold their own in a fight with Voorhees?

I'm a tri-slice factory, the symbol of badassery.

Your anatomy stacks after me, go and do the math for me:

I got claws in /both/ hands! This your Last Stand!

So, you wanna dance? Let's boogie, man.

Freddy Krueger:

I thought you’d never ask!

Poll
Who won? Freddy Krueger Wolverine