User blog:M.A.T.S.H/Epic Rap Battles Disney VS History 3: Diabolik VS Robin Hood

In the third installment of this series, the famous Italian anti-hero and thief Diabolik fights off against famed English hero, thief (and fox) Robin Hood to see which side is better- Good thief or evil thief.



Yep, another one of these. I know everyone wanted to see Fox McCloud VS Robin Hood, but to tell you the truth, that suggestion never appealed to me. I had a hard time thinking up of an opponent for Robin until I remembered how awesome Diabolik's comics and movie was.

Go read Flat's new battle before you read this, it's about 1000 times better.

Regardless, I hope you enjoy it a lot!

Robin Hood's Background: Sherwood Forest

Diabolik's Background: His underground lair

Beat
Dark Murderous Underground Rap Beat

Eva Kant ’s & Maid Marian 's lines written like this

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES:

DISNEY VS HISTORY!

Diabolik!

VS!

Robin Hood!

BEGIN!

Diabolik (0:11):
Robin Hood and Little John, walking through the forest

Laughing back and forth at what the other had to say

Then along came the greatest thief of them all, slipping out of the shadows

Took out his knife and sunk it in Robin’s chest just to ruin everyone’s day!

I guarantee that you’ll never see me coming; your archery can’t take down my gadgets

If my bars were worth their weight in gold, your prince would have to lower the taxes

I’m sleek and I’m slick! You haven’t heard of me?! My name is Diabolik!

And just the thought of putting up with this filthy animal has me sick!

Now, you are brilliant in your schemes but your goody-goody behaviour is abhorrent

<p class="MsoNormal">Your wife’s bestie is a fat hen but you’re an even bigger chicken in your forest

<p class="MsoNormal">With just a single blow to the head, I can put you into permanent traction

<p class="MsoNormal">Everything I do is amazing; evenyour company’s duck tries to copy my actions

<p class="MsoNormal">I bet your rhymes aren’t as accurate as your shooting, so go ahead and do your worst

<p class="MsoNormal">But with your past, I wouldn’t be surprised if you copied other rappers for your verse!

Robin Hood (0:50):
<p class="MsoNormal">Now, now, my friend; between you and I, there’s a clear difference

<p class="MsoNormal">Nothing about you is interesting! You act like a third rate Bond villain at best

<p class="MsoNormal">I take for the needy and downtrodden; you’re just a greedy terrorist

<p class="MsoNormal">The only reason you wear that cat suit all the time is because your face is so hideous!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m beloved by all inNottingham while you’re always hiding underground from theLaw

<p class="MsoNormal">And when my rhymes rain down on you like my arrows, you’ll be sure to drop your jaw

<p class="MsoNormal">What do you think of this foe, Little John ?A pox on this phony Batman of Italy?

<p class="MsoNormal">Even Valmont managed to outsmart you while The Sherriff’s police force couldn’t catch me

<p class="MsoNormal">You need a strong heart to win a fair lady but you wouldn’t understand that, would you?

<p class="MsoNormal">Your treasures and jewels are the only reason that blonde bimbo hangs around you

<p class="MsoNormal">Diabolik, you blame society’s ills as a reason for all of your cheap thrills

<p class="MsoNormal">But to think you can beat me? You must be taking your own cyanide pills

<p class="MsoNormal">Hop back in your car before I make you stop your heartbeat for a second time

<p class="MsoNormal">The only thing that’s diabolical about you is the quality of your rhymes!

Diabolik (1:30):
<p class="MsoNormal">You can’t conquer me! WITH THIS SUIT, I CAN SWIM THROUGH THE SURFACE OF THE SUN!

<p class="MsoNormal">I already beat your Sir Hiss ! Whether it be by torture or death, we’ll have this battle won!

<p class="MsoNormal">Your rhymes were far from being rich but I’ll rob you of a win anyway! (AHAHAHAHAHA!)

<p class="MsoNormal">SO YIFF IN HELL, FURFAG! Eva! Yes, Diabolik? Prepare the guns! We’ll make this freak pay!

Robin Hood (1:41):
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh please, your words don’t offend me and your bullets don’t scare me

<p class="MsoNormal">If anything, this fey Fantômas should be afraid he’ll gettwo arrows in his knees

<p class="MsoNormal">I think that he pulls off those dangerous stunts as a cheap way to feel empowered

<p class="MsoNormal">But when he’s surrounded in a corner by the police, Marian, he turns into a coward!

<p class="MsoNormal">''Oh, Robin, I was so worried about you! ''Not to worry, this fool was child’s play

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m certainly not the first expert marksman that will leave this greasy wannabe slain

<p class="MsoNormal">Besides, we already have our happy ending; this ugly guy got buried alive in his own gold

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll tell Alan-A-Dale that your stories are the only ones that should never be retold!

<p class="MsoNormal">(2:05):

<p class="MsoNormal">Who won?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Who’s next?!

<p class="MsoNormal">YOU DECIDE!

<p class="MsoNormal">EPIC RAP BATTLES!

<p class="MsoNormal">DISNEY VS HI-

<p class="MsoNormal">*A hand steals the logo from its normal spot*

<p class="MsoNormal">…

<p class="MsoNormal">…

Outro:


Who won? Diabolik Robin Hood