User blog:TP87/TP Reviews ERB Episode 7: Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe

Hi guys and welcome to the 7h episode of TP reviews ERB! To Nikki's request, I'll review the 3rd battle in Season 3.5: Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe. So, as the Announcer says: BEGIN!

Rappers and Connection
On one side we have American writer and poet Edgar Allan Poe (George Watsky) while on the other side we have American horror writer Stephen King (Zach Sherwin). Both are played very well, although King was slightly less close to the real one, but he's actually closer to a younger version of him. He was also kinda creepy in some moments. The backgrounds are also fitting in with the characters.

Their Connection: American Horror Writers

Edgar Allan Poe:
Once upon a midnight dreary, as I spit this weak and weary,

I will choke this joker with a trochee till his cheeks are teary! (Ahh!)

'''Poe starts out pretty well with a reference to The Raven. Watsky also shows off his poetic skills by rapping these 2 lines in trochaic octameter. Nice job indeed. he's basically syaing he's gonna use his trochees to choke King until he cries'''

But y'all don't hear me, all should fear me!

I'll forever be better, you'll never be near me,

Average bragging lines, but with a good flow

Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary!

You're a faux Bram Stoker, so scram, the show's over.

Now Poe disses King's books and compares him to a Bram Stoker wannabe and makes a reference to Beverly Cleary

Your flow's so-so, Poe's poems pwn posers! (oh snap!)

I wrote them locked in a cave, while I sobbed in a rage.

The Tell-Tale Heart beats soft in its grave, while this jerk just beats off on a page!

'''Interesting use of words in the "posers" line which give a good flow to it. In the last two lines he compares himself to King and disses him in the last line'''

'''Overall, Poe did a very good start. Like he did with Shakespeare, Watsky showed off his skilles by rappin the first lines in a particular meter. He had a nice flow, especially in the third-to-last line. Let's see how King responds'''

Stephen King:
Oh, you want to talk shop, you gothed-out fop?

Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top!

King shows off his good flow and disses Poe for his attire and disses him in the 1st line

There's a melancholy alcoholic laughingstock,

In the King's house; now watch the Castle Rock!

'''In here, King starts out with his puns. In this one he makes a pun with the Castle Rock, which is a fictional location in his books.'''

Pouty little poet with an opiate affliction.

I'm a workaholic with a fiction addiction.

'''Now he disses Poe about his narcotic addiction and for his whiny books. Then he proceeds to say he's a wokaholic (therefore better than Poe)'''

I'm making dedicated readers shivery and jittery.

Feel that Rage and Misery!

King brags about how he can frighten readers and then pulls out 2 puns with the titles of 2 of his novels: Rage and Misery and states that Poe should feel angry and poor compared to him

You better start Running Man, you're in deep poo, Poe!

I'm a mad dog, fangs Shining, Cujo!

'''These 2 lines have an arguably better flow than the others. King pulls out 3 puns with the titles of 3 of his novels: Running Man, Shining and Cujo. Nice job Zach. He's stating that Poe should better run when facing him or else he'll be slayed.'''

Tommyknock you down till you can't Stand up.

You're as soft as Po, the Kung Fu Panda!

'''King keeps making puns with his novels' titles. In this case, he makes a pun with Tommyknockers and The Stand. He's bascially saying that he's gonna beat the shit out of Poe and then disses him by saying his poetry is as soft as Po from Kung fu Panda while making a pun with Po and Poe'''

Racks on racks 'cause I pen fat stacks of frightening writing, have you seen the pile?

I can even take a break from my routine style;

'''The "racks on racks" line was kinda longer than the others (and also kinda boring and too "braggy"). He also says he can take a break from horror writing.'''

Crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile.

Masque of the Red Death? Barely blood curdling.

'''King says how he can take a break from horror writing and still do good novels, as shown by The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, which were made into films and are considerated among the best films ever made. Then, King disses Poe's books. In here he says that "Masque of the Red Death" is a weak tale'''

Pit and the Pendulum? Not even unnerving.

Perving on your first cousin when she's thirteen years old? Now that's disturbing!

'''King keeps dissing Poe's books. In here he says that "Pit and the Pendulum" is not gory and does not even frighten a reader. He then says that the real disturbing thing is Poe marrying his 13 year old cousin. IMO it was a kinda cheapy way to end the verse'''

'''Overall King did an awesome verse. Sure, it was pretty long. but Sherwin really shined on in this one. He did many awesome puns and had an interesting flow. He still had some bragging though'''

'''We're in the middle of the battle now. King is having the upper hand due to his verse's length and for having more disses and puns. However, Watsky having a 2nd verse means fast rapping. Let's see'''

Edgar Allan Poe:
Stephen, you pretend to do it, I've been really living through it,

Misery and poverty and family woes!

'''As expected, Poe raps fast this time and disses Stephen by saying he's just pretending to have the life Poe had. Notice how he manages to keep up a good flow'''

I see through you like pantyhose, doing Chappelle and Simpsons cameos! (ahh!)

Even if you're gripping on a weapon then you better get to stepping if you're messing with the horror lord!

In a minute maybe I'mma hit him, cut him into itty bitty bits and I'mma stick him in the floorboards!

'''Poe disses King for his cameos on The Chappelle Show and The Simpsons. The last 2 lines are Poe bragging by Poe saying King should run away from him even if he holds a weapon. He also makes a subtle reference to The Tell-Tale Heart in his last line. Watsky's fast rapping and nice flow make it even better'''

'''As expected, Watsky pulled out his fast rapping skills and manages to take the upper hand. Let's see how King repilies'''

Stephen King:
(Sigh) Speaking of bored, you're the worst!

Dropped out of school but you can't drop a verse.

King says Poe's boring and disses him how about he can't write a good verse even though he "dropped out" of school

I could have spent that time better.

In eight bars, I can write a whole best-seller!

'''King now brags about he could do better with the same number of bars. IMO it is also a reference to how his short stories are very successful'''

I'm so prolific, this sickly goblin won't be bothering me, I'm on a clobbering spree.

And I'll be smacking you with any of the big thick books in my big dick bibliography!

'''These 2 lines were kinda boring and did not have the good flow the other lines had. Probably because they took more lines in the beat. King is basically saying that Poe is not a threat to him and that he'll smack him with each of his books in his bibliography. "Dick" is also a reference to the stories he wrote under the pseudonym of "Richard Bachmann" since Dick is also the shortening of Richard'''

See, I'm the author with the blood and gore lore galore that'll horrify a reader to the core!

Fame? Money? Talent? Success? You'll always have less, never more!

'''King now brags (again) how he can frighten readers. I partially disagree with the last line. While Poe will never have the money King has (he's dead xD) or talent ( that depends on the reader) he arguably has as much fame and success King has, even though he got them after he died. King ends the rap battle with "never more" which is a reference to Poe's poem The Raven"'''

Overall, his last verse was not as good as his first one, mostly because it had pretty long lines and not-so-good flow.

What I liked, What I didn't like and Vote
What I liked: What I didn't like
 * The beat
 * It was an epic and awesome battle
 * Lots of puns and references
 * Watsky and Sherwin's performance. Watsky for the fast raps and Sherwin for the puns
 * The graphics
 * The rappers' flow
 * King was kinda creepy and had some boring lines

'''Vote: 9.5/10. '''An awesome battle with awesome rappers, graphics and beat. King's creepiness however made the battle unperfect XD

The Winner
Tie. They were simply too good to have one prevail on the other. I'll list their lines

Poe's best lines:

Once upon a midnight dreary, as I spit this weak and weary,

I will choke this joker with a trochee till his cheeks are teary! (Ahh!)

Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary!

Poe's poems pwn posers!

The Tell-Tale Heart beats soft in its grave, while this jerk just beats off on a page!

All of his 2nd verse

King's best lines

All of his 1st verse

(Sigh) Speaking of bored, you're the worst!

Dropped out of school but you can't drop a verse.

The End
So, here ends the 7th episode of my blogs series. I'm happy to have done this review now, as it was pretty long and hard to do. Leave a comment below and see ya in the next one !