Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 4

Dis Raps for Hire - Episode 4 is the fourth installment in the Dis Raps For Hire series. In this episode, Lloyd helps djvapid with his ex wife, Jennifer, who totally forgot about him and moved in with "a fat dude with no job" while he was serving in Iraq.

Suggestion
"EpicLloyd, I was a combat medic during the Iraq war. I married my high school sweetheart before I deployed. While I was gone, she moved a fat dude with no job and a kid into my house with her while I unwittingly financially supported both of them. I actually found out about it from her sister when Jennifer (my ex wife) stole several thousand dollars from my bank account and disappeared. She ended up showing up at her family's house with this guy for Thanksgiving."

-djvapid

Lyrics
Check 1, 2

It's L back with some fresh Dis Raps for you

I got to rip these foooooools

'Cause certain things you just don't do, you just don't do

Jennifer, I'm coming for you with my pens a blazing

Epic Lloyd has been deployed to pay you for your treason

What are you thinking? This story is crazy

I wanna stop rhyming and just be like "What the f**k, lady?"

And I'm not into hating women except these super selfish kind

I'd sacrifice a slice of brain to give you a piece of my mind

Plus Djvapid patch me up again and I would be fine

So I could bitch this chick out several thousand times

I mean talk about ball and chain, Jen came with a crane

She's a true home wrecker straight earning the name

I can't believe that's how you'd treat your high school sweetheart

You'd go and sleep with some fat deadbeat retard

While your man is out in the desert somewhere probably getting bombed

And sewing other fallen soldiers' arms back on

That's wrong! So s**t ain't this a pisser

When I got asked to diss her, I was like "Sir, yes, sir!"

And dude, f**k you too

I hope the chick never puts out and your balls turn blue

Stay out the service tooooooo

If I was your combat medic, I would have left you

I mean when your own sibling rats you out, you gotta dismiss her

Sorry DJ, you unwittingly married the wrong sister

But congrats if you asked me to find a crazier girl, I couldn't

Vap's back from Iraq, but he's still dodging bullets, but it's not your fault, dawg!

Sometimes there's nothing you can do except throw your hands up in the air like that dude from Platoon

And be like "Bitch, get out! You're done being my spouse! So get your kid and get the hell out of my house!"

And no wonder she showed up at Thanksgiving

She's broke for real, got two jobless mouths to feed

And all that free turkeys that's a meal

That bed you made, girl, now sleep where you s**t

But set your alarm so you can wake up and work your next double shift

And that's my point of vieeeeeew

You wanna walk a mile in his shoes, use his army boots

And it's a golden ruuuuuuuule

If you're gonna cheat your bad deeds will come haunt you, BOO!

Trivia

 * Platoon is a 1986 war film starring Willem Dafoe and Charlie Sheen, where Dafoe's character Sergeant Elias throws his arms up in the air.