User blog:JKGame/Cozy Glow vs Eric Cartman: My Little Rap Battles Season 2 Mid-Season Finale

Hello, there! Welcome to the mid-season finale of My Little Rap Battles Season 2!

But don't worry, I'll be back with this pretty shortly. Like one or two weeks, this might be back.

This battle was originally a lot shorter, but as time went on, I figured this could work if it was made longer and not with a usual 1-on-1. Remember the pseudo-gauntlet battle with Michael Myers vs Princess Luna? I say "pseudo" as it wasn't really like a normal gauntlet battle. This one is.

This battle may need some context for non-MLP fans to understand what's going on better. In short, read the overall summary of School Raze, read my synopsis of it, or just watch the two-parter episode. This battle is pretty much an AU version of the climax of Part 2.

Also, this is the very first battle to have. a. GUEST WRITER! One of the characters in this battle was written by none other than TCalderon, a fellow buddy of mine on this wiki. He did a waaay better job than I would've done with the character. I won't spoil it to make who would exactly appear a surprise. (Though those who have read all of my blogs might already know the one that T's writing for.)

Let's dive into this finale!

"Overweight bully from the quiet mountain town of South Park, Eric Cartman, and everypony's favorite filly that turned out to be evil, Cozy Glow, battle each other to see who's the superior evil child."

(Random fillies will appear to speak a line. You know if their lines are colored.)

Context
Long story short, in School Raze, all the magic has been drained from Equestria. Twilight and her friends go to see Tirek, as they believe he was the one behind it. This turns out to be the plan of Cozy Glow where she used six artifacts to steal magic and keep them in a magic sphere, which can trap anyone too close to it, underneath the School of Friendship.

In the original episode, Starlight was the first one to be trapped, and Cozy Glow frames the Student Six and tricks her fellow classmates into thinking that THEY were the ones stealing all the magic. In this battle, things will go a little differently.

Battle
MY LITTLE RAP BATTLES!!!



Cozy Glow:
Oh golly! I can't wait to bring punishment on this Biggest Douche!

How about you get Cozy and finally Lay Off the Fatty Foods?

I'll make sure this bully achieves his dream of becoming Poor and Stupid!

And with even your friends hating you, it's clear you don't understand the power of friendship!

This Coon's been clogging up TVs since the 90's with his crass toilet trash!

And now spends arcs shoving politics in faces with no sense of class!

I'd say this battle will be a bigger disaster for you than when you opened Action Park 2.0!

With this racist tub of lard around, I certainly don't want to be Going Down to South Park! (Oh!)

How can you put up a fight? A single slap leaves you crying for your mommy!

By the end of this verse, I'm sure to leave the beat like Kenny! (You bastard!)

Do what you say and respect my authority! It's clear we will never be friends!

I'll be doing your group of Frenemies a favor by bringing The Death of Eric Cartman!

Eric Cartman:
I had enough of your sh*t! This is gonna get cereal, yo!

Cozy Glow? More like Cozy Blow! You can't handle my awesome flow!

I'll butcher your family into chili and turn you into a filly cheesesteak!

Take shots at you, blow your mind! Put you in a School Daze!

I'm bringing harsher insults as if I was that trolling f*ck Skankhunt42!

Leave you with a Fractured But-Whole when I give you a taste of my Stick of Truth!

Your plan's more paper-thin than I am! I should Blame Canada for your existence!

You're like Stan on his 10th birthday, 'cause all I'm hearing from you is talking sh*t!

I'm like the KFC chicken skin: the best part! You're like the sh*tty bones that are left!

So keep yourself with the CMC and Tom Cruise in the f*cking closet!

A manipulative Shirley Temple clone with Tourettes? Haven't seen that before!

You're more of a dildo than my kitty! Now get out before I kick you out my door!

Cozy Glow:
After some thinking, it makes sense now! You're the one stealing all the magic!

If that's true, then why? Easy! It's 'cause he's a white supremist!

He wants his race to be on top, but they don't have magic while we do!

So he's stealing them just so we'd grow weak and stay below his group!

Eric Cartman:
Wait, what-

Cozy Glow:
And *gasp* I bet he's trying to destroy the school as well!

All so he can keep the power of friendship to his kind and himself!

This does make sense! Then what are you waiting for? Let's get rid of him already!

We have to defend the school and put an end to this Neo-Nazi!

(The fillies then start angrily taking steps towards Cartman, who is in front of the magic sphere.)

Eric Cartman:
Wait, guys, stop! It wasn't me! I don't know what you're talking about-

(Cartman then gets too close to the sphere, and magic hands then come out and grab him-)

AAAAHHHHH!!!! MAAAAAAM!

(Cartman is now trapped in the magic sphere along with Starlight. Cozy then flies near him.)

Cozy Glow:
Oh, poor you. Now have fun being with Counselor Starlight!

Just remember that this wasn't the first time a girl defeated you in a fight!

And now, everypony, everything is fine now!

The day has been saved- wait, what's happening right now?

(The background of South Park has now changed to a stage, and a new rapper approaches. This challenger reveals herself to be...)

Darla Dimple:
Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now; you’re facing a Darling Ms. Dimple!

An adorable little angel who will Shirley TEAR DOWN YOUR TEMPLE!

You’re another animal I despise, just as bad as that annoying cat!

I SUGGEST YOU PLAY YOUR PART! We all know that Ponies Don’t Rap!

This Little Boat on the Sea will drown when I flood her with my flow!

Max:
How does the Cozy Glow go?

Darla Dimple:
She takes her crew and heads home!

I'm America’s Darling, you’re just another mare in the crowd!

I'll outdo your School Raze when I spit my verse BIG AND LOUD!

Cozy Glow:
Standing right beside me, it must be Cartman's little accomplice!

It seems her sheer hatred of animals is the reason she's taking part in this!

But why though? No one knows, but we must have her ego deflate like a balloon!

She already faced the trapdoor to her doom, and now let's have her join the two!

(The fillies immediately grab Darla and carry her to the sphere. She kicks and punches to break free, but it's no use. She is thrown into the sphere and joins Cartman and Starlight. Cozy flies to her now.)

Cozy Glow:
It seems your efforts to win went down the drain like your career

But after I begin my reign, I'll let you be my personal janitor!

And with that, everypony, there's nothing we can do.

The bad guys have been defeated, and...oh come on!

(The stage background then changes to the airship Excalibur and a new challenger approaches. She reveals herself to be...)

Monaca Towa:
Aw, you thought this was over? This is where the fun starts, meow!

When I make my paradise of children, I'll make sure you'll never be allowed in!

If Monaca wants it, it happens! So I want to give this Girl some Ultra Despair!

Your little pony friends don't stand a chance against my army of Monokuma bears!

This mage has still got some magic even after what's happening in Equestria!

Kurokuma:
Yeah, and you're gonna start chokin' after she's done with ya!

Monaca Towa:
Warriors of Hope! Looks like we have ourselves a demon to hunt!

I'll leave you like Nagisa! I've got the entire world's sympathy while you have none! (Upupupu!)

Cozy Glow:
Is she another one of Cartman's helper? Oh, I believe she is, in fact!

It seems her reason for stealing magic is to spread despair in our land!

She worships a despair-obsessed psycho! That's enough reason to DISTRUST her!

It does say something when she is hated even by her father and brother!

With her dislike towards grown-ups, she must've sent Twilight and her friends on a wild goose chase!

And trapped Counselor Starlight in that sphere so that she wouldn't get in her way!

We must stop her! If she succeeds, she'll turn you into her brainless Monokuma kids!

I-I don't like the sound of that! Then hurry, we have to act quick!

(The fillies charge towards Monaca.)

Monaca Towa:
No! I! Won't! Let! You! Take! Me-

(The fillies push her towards the sphere, and a arm reaches out to grab her. Monaca is captured and shortly after joins Cartman, Darla, and Starlight.)

Cozy Glow:
So everything's taken care of, nothing to worry about. They all brought it on themselves...what's that? Another one?! (The background of Excalibur is now replaced with the background of the Underground with a bed of flowers. A new challenger approaches and reveals himself to be...)

Frisk:
It takes a hero to beat a brat with megalomania

This is gonna get intense like 16 seconds into Megalovania

Classic Cozy Glow: thinking The World's Revolving around her

I won't need Sans for me to bring Judgement on this critter

I'm a True Pacifist, but you're the one monster I won't [SPARE]

You're Battling Against a True Hero! I'm not affected by any Neighsay-ers!

Frisk won't be frisking around! I truly mean business!

On days like these, kids like you should be locked up in Tartarus!

Cozy Glow:
(Gasp) Out of everyone we met, this one is the worst of them all!

Going around killing innocent creatures for no reason at all!

He alreasy went full Genocide in the Underground, now he's targeting us ponies!

He's helping steal magic to weaken us, and then go on to make this As-gory!

And look at his face! He shows no remorse for any murder he's committing!

If we don't act, we'll end up like Undyne's tomatoes in the kitchen!

You know Frisk's bad stuff when he went and slayed his adoptive mother!

Now come on, my friends! Get this dirty brother killer!

(The fillies once again approach Frisk, but he doesn't flinch and instead continues rapping. The fillies, confused, stops to watch.)

Frisk:
Trying to paint me in a bad light? I know what you're truly up to!

I beat a manipulative, evil flower that was exactly like you!

I'm dodging every disses you're throwing at me!

And I won't let you RESET just so you can get YOUR ending!

I'm may be Underground, but you're the one Under me in this Tale

Toriel would know. Your plan will be like your test grade: a massive fail!

So face the facts, Cozy, and drop your saccharine act

And tell me: do you feel your sins crawling down your back?

For being an empress of friendship, you sure have no real friends

You're not filled with love, only levels of violence

Seeing you try to rule Equestria only fills me with Determination

To SAVE The World and finally bring in this Dummy's annihilation!

(A vortex appears below the sphere to transport it, but Frisk then starts to glow, as he is filled with the Tree of Harmony's magic.)

Random Filly #1:
He's glowing! It might have to do with the Elements of Harmony!

Random Filly:
Then Cozy Glow was wrong! He's no killer! He's a hero!

Cozy Glow:
You idiot! What are you doing! You're ruining my plans!

You better stop! I'm begging you! NOOOOO-

(Frisk then removes the artifacts and releases all the magic back into Equestria, saving those inside the sphere and bringing harmony back into the land. He then approaches Cozy, who's looking defeated.)

Frisk:
Seems that I dethroned you and ended your reign before it even began.

When the authorities imprison you in Tartarus, you can tell Tirek I said hi.

Started a troubled student, now the butt-monkey of a dysfunctional team

While I'm still remembered, you'll soon be left in the dust once your show's off the screen...

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!!

MY LITTLE RAP BATTLES!!!!

Poll
Who won? Cozy Glow Eric Cartman Darla Dimple Monaca Towa Frisk What was your favorite battle of the first half of Season 2? Kirby vs Pinkie Pie Indiana Jones vs Daring Do St. Valentine vs Princess Cadance Light Yagami vs Wallflower Blush Snips and Snails vs Beavis and Butt-head Chrom vs Shining Armor Spike vs Morgana Flim and Flam vs Billy Mays Fluttershy vs Steve Irwin Cozy Glow vs Eric Cartman

Trivia

 * This has the most amount of scrapped characters ever, mainly for the third rapper. Characters that were going to appear but were scrapped include Kylo Ren, Porky Minch, Gary Smith (Suggested by Dark Cyan. Sorry buddy.), Gideon Gleeful, and Linus from Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Ness was going to be considered as the last rapper before being replaced with Frisk.
 * This was originally gonna appear after the battle with the Student Six, but I decided to move this to being the mid-season finale.

Last Few Words
Last few things before we end things off.

I would like for you guys to not just say who won, but to rank the characters in terms of overall performance. You don't have to honestly, but this is something I always get curious about when I make royales and gauntlet battles.

Also, TCalderon wrote for Darla Dimple. I cannot thank him enough.

Anyway, that is all. Hope you enjoyed the battle and see you pretty soon for the second half.