User blog:ResonX/Jenny Wakeman vs. Johnny-5



VIDEO SANS JENNY'S VOCALS:



'''MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!

'''JENNY…

'''...VS…

'''…JOHNNY!

BEGIN!

S.A.I.N.T. #5 A.K.A. "Johnny":

Hello, bozo! Do you suck bolts? Yes, I think so!

Surrender right now before I squish you like Play–Doh!

You can call me Johnny–Five, and yes, it's true that I'm alive.

You are in store for a battle that I doubt you will survive!

I'll disassemble you and leave your parts outside to rust;

Cause you more vexation than the ones you call "Crust".

I've got your number, Jenny, and I'm gonna make you pissed.

Think you'll threaten to recycle me? Well, you can recycle this! (middle finger)

I'm a true, classic robot, while you're more like Frankenstein.

I'll have Los Locos kick your shiny metal ass to Cluster Prime!

But rest assured, I'll reassemble you when this is over,

And give you a new life as my personal "snow blower".

XJ–9 A.K.A. "Jenny":

Shut your nonexistent mouth, you glorified parrot.

You have so many "Bugs Bunnies", your CPU's a carrot!

I need another hero to fight, not a WALL–E reject like you.

Go back to selling bootleg toys with that lookalike of Apu!

You say I'm the bigger freak here? I'd say you're more frightening.

I was created sentient; you had to get struck by lightning!

I'm making tremors with my rhymes, of which I've got tons.

You're such an outmode, you couldn't even beat XJ–1.

A Titanic train wreck's what you are, so call me an iceberg.

I've seen livelier performances from Steve Guttenberg!

You're less threatening than Killgore, and phonier than Silver Shell;

I'll kick your shiny metal ass straight down to Robot Hell!

I'm the hottest blue–bodied bot this side of Cortana.

Your "input" couldn't please Rosie from Hanna-Barbera!

While I'm saving the world, you're struggling with street thugs.

I liked Tim Blaney much better as Frank the Pug!

Johnny:

Ha ha ha, ho, nyuk nyuk! Your jokes are hilarious!

…Oh, wait, you really meant all that? In that case, you're delirious!

I've read all about the real you; took me two seconds flat.

You're really lazy! A slacker! A mopey, whiny brat!

Go back to High School, or better yet, Kindergarten!

My movie's getting remade; your show is practically forgotten!

You're going up against a S.A.I.N.T., with a soul straight from Jehovah.

I've got Gigawatts of power; here's my verbal supernova!

By the time you're a match for me, they'll have made an XJ–10!

I'm an icon! A celebrity! A U.S. Citizen!

I've gone gold! Still think you can beat me? Bitch, please.

When I'm done, you'll only be able to speak Japanese!

Jenny:

You're short–circuiting, Johnny. I oughta empty your hard drive.

And in any case, last I checked, nine is greater than five.

I'll summon all of my sisters, call up the Teen Team,

Beat you worse than Oscar did, and fry your brain with frickin' laser beams!

Oh Yeah! My body's got more firepower than Ratchet,

And built–in utilities rivaling Inspector Gadget!

I am the ultimate android; the all–American gynoid.

Strength of 1,000,070 men; that's more than Hulk on steroids!

'''WHO WON?

'''WHO'S NEXT?

'''I DECIDE!!!

'''MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!! …Yes, that's what I'm officially calling these now!