User blog:JaphethMario/Cartoon Network vs Nickelodeon - Japheth's Rap Battle Ep.2

“Cause this whole awards is rigged, and we all know the riggers

For the last 17 years, this country is run by nig- SPONGEBOB!”

Ha! I beat you to that joke, I’m a physic, unless that‘s not the first joke you’re thinking



Cartoon Network vs Nickelodeon is the first parody battle, unless you count Madotsuki vs Frisk. In case you don’t know what this battle is parody, well it’s Trump vs Clinton...yeah.

Introduction:






This is the 2nd installment of Japheth’s Rap Battle (Mad Father vs Witch’s House was the pilot), it features cartoon channel, Cartoon Network, against uhhh...another channel, Nickelodeon with surprise third party ...ugh... another another cartoon channel, Disney Channel, tyo see which of these three are the better...cartoon channel

















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Rappers:
<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%;">Cartoon Network is in white text

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Nickelodeon is in orange text

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">Disney is in red text

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Speaking Cameos:
<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:yellow">Rebeltaxi is in yellow text

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#0070C0">Mr. Enter is in blue text

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#CC6600">Pieguyrulz is in brown text

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Location:
<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Kids Choice Awards - Both Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Various Black and White Block Background - Cartoon Network

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Various Slime Splat Background - Nickelodeon

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Disney Castle - Disney Channel

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Cartoon Network Verse:
<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Your green slimes can’t match the flows of this black and white block rappa

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Bringing back classic from Looney Toons to Hanna-Barbera

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">I’m the cartoon network, who filled this Universe with joy by songs and dance

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">You’re the cartoon program who wouldn’t give Zim a second chance

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Nick is getting irrelevant, stop using YouTube to escape from your grim end

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Sharing traits with that squeaky voice Fred, and that’s you both produce dead content *Fred’s laugh*

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Give other Nicktoons some spotlight; sticking to one kitchen tool is aberrant

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">You don’t care ‘bout Arnold’s reunion, you think it’s Funnie to kill off his parents

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">And you ruin Jimmy‘s brain blast, putting that Sheen dweeb making us snore, pal

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%;tab-stops:320.25pt">Nick News was a mistake, it makes CNN have brains to report real journal

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Adult Swimming, sending a Toonami wave, I’m coming back stronger like a Boomarang

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">While you only got a Junior block, and Nickelodeon still can’t school me at raps, dang!

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">I mean you teach kids in the Barnyard, male cows have boobies

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Oh, I’m dropping these bars harder than the ratings of the Last Airbender movie

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">So you’re more immature than a rugrat, ‘cause you got powers to misuse

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:yellow">Hey here’s some criticism, “well let me strike down your reviews”

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#0070C0">But that’s fair use Viacom, “I like bullying channels and get paid”

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#CC6600">Well that’s cheating the system “so, I rigged the KCA”

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">(Ha!) Not so perfect now, mary-sue

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Don’t try to play the victim card, Bendy two

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Butcher characters into one dimension unfairly fools

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Stop adding useless characters in a show of fairies, dude

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">You once have Drake and Josh, now Bell and your sitcoms are simply flawed

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Revive the hedgehog’s boom, you ruin Rayman with cash-grabbing minion hoes

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Acting all hip and edgy make more flinch than you stub octupus’ toes

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">Nick’s fame is going on a low blow, end your program with a suicide joke

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Nickoledeon Verse:
<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Look, I admire that you started the rebirth of cartoon and that’s the truth

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">But I like to fire your company, but you already give yourself the re-boot

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Cartoons are going to fall, who wants a network who’s always hungry and all

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Who have the biggest weirdest fetish for sucking a ton of Gumballs?

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">(Woah, Momma!)  Wanna talk about take down, you take down more lives than I torture grumpy squids

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">You knock innocent live’s moonights out, like you did in the Boston bombings, kid

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">(Aaah! Real Monster) I apologize for that touchy subject, but here’s something You Can’t Do That in TV

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">And that‘s going behind in the scenes,  touching your victim’ in the tities

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">If you want the original network, then stick Nick

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">From gross-out to internet stars, CN just rip it

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Heck, you stole your Laboratory’s Test and shit it

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">And replacing with genderswaps and hip’s whip

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Your “feminist“ message, isn’t working

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">You ditch your assistant’s boobies, giving us little girls twerking

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">What will future creators get inspire from a regular slacker gaming nerd?

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Who doesn’t have the courage to step in the darkness of the real world!?

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">They want a Loud competitor promising the bright future for cartoon characters

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">(Morning, morning, morning) Not an incest-loving, wrinkly, mental challenged Uncle Grandpa (Spongehack)

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">All your creators gone broke, like the fourth wall broke by Dora

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Put Breadwinners in front of Korra

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">You disappoint us with all your shitty remake cartoon line

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">I’ll satisfy Fanboys, putting down Adventure Time

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Interrupt your entire channel’s show to make way for the real star

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">My 10 is better than Incredible Crew, cause I got a Fart in the Jar

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">I can wish cartoons be great again, I got two magical fairies

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Beat you and your friends, oh wait, all of them are imaginary

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">The only bars you spit, is you being behind when you try to diss me

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:#F79646;mso-themecolor:accent6">Guess CN is getting salty cause his Star Wars was brought by ---

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Disney Channel Verse:
<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">AFTER GRAVITY FALLS’ ENDING, THIS INDUSTRY IS STILL IN A DARK AGE

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">IT’S THE STAR OF THE MONOPOLY VERSUS THE FORCES OF THESE DISGRACE

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">I’VE SEEN MORE MATURE CONTENT AT MY LITTLE PONY

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">BOTH OF THEM ARE WORTHLESS HACKS, THAT EVEN I WON’T BE BOTHER BUYING YOU PHOENIES

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">TAKE LESSONS FROM DUCKTALES, EVERY GOOD SHOWS HAVE TO END, NICK

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">CONTINUE SUCKING SPONGE‘S DICK, THEN KIDS WILL BE SICK OF THE SAME SHTICK

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%">(Ha!) <span style="color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:normal;line-height:16.9px;">OH WARNER SIS,  ARE YOU TESTING MY INTELLGENCE WITH YOUR “SMART” SATIRE HUMOR!?

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">“THIS CARTOON IS FOR KIDS” MEANS YOU SHOW NO RESPECT TO YOUR OWN VIEWERS

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">CHILDREN NEED SOMETHING TIMELESS THAT BOTH THEM AND ADULTS CAN ENJOY

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">NOT SOME DATED FADS SHITTING ON THE ORIGINAL’S VISION BY SELLING TOYS

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">WHY BOTHER FIGHTING EACH OTHER, WHEN YOU BOTH SHARE THE SAME DICKERY!?

<p class="ParaAttribute0" style="line-height:130%"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:바탕;color:red">WITH FALSE PROMISES, KILLING GOOD SHOWS, USING NOSTALGIA STRINGS, MICKEY!!

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WHO WON!? CARTOON NETWORK NICKELODEON DISNEY CHANNEL