User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 15: Alex DeLarge vs The Joker

(This battle was posted on the second of June. I was nervous about following up Hermione vs Katniss, but I decided I just had to keep writing. The process of writing this battle had a lot less potholes than the rest, though it's only a precursor to the biggest pothole in my rap journey thus far; The summer of 2014. The next battle I'd write after this would be at the end of October. I just lost interest. Anyway, here are two famous fictional crazy, violent madmen rhyming at each other aggressively. Enjoy.)

CYAN'S RAP BATTLES!



VS.



BEGIN!

Alex: Ready for a bit of the old ultraviolence?

Because me and my three droogs will beat you to silence.

You must spend hours on that makeup. I’m already ready.

I show my droogs who’s boss. I crack skulls like eggy-weggys!

My rhymes and slang are more gorgeous than a summer night’s afterglow.

But I can still flip the picture violently into real horrorshow!

You’re an unhinged psychopath. I viddy you lost your marbles.

Everybody’s laughing at your boner, so come and get one in the yarbles!

Joker: I make the jokes around here, you cockney chav!

Am I really getting challenged by a fifteen year old lad?

With that grubby white onesie, you can’t even be considered.

And that killer walking stick. What are you, the Riddler?

But fine. Let’s have a fair fight. Shake on it. Shocking!

Whoops! Now I’ll tie you up and murder you like the second Robin!

You’ll need Aversion Therapy to cope with my weaponized silliness.

Heeheehee! Put on a smile, Alex! Why so serious?

Alex: Oh, but I am smiling, you bottle of cheap stinking chip oil,

Even though you leave a sour taste like a glass of milk-plus that’s been spoiled.

What rubbish is this? A juvenile hand-buzzer gesture?

Clown prince of crime? More like the palace court jester!

I’ll make a Pretty Polly, and deal you some pain.

Then take your girl Quinzel for some siiiiiinging in the rain.

Just give up! You’ll never beat Batman. He’ll always catch you!

But hey, there are worse fates. I’d have smashed you with a statue!

Joker: Get you stinking hands off! Only I get to ride my Harley!

Go back to brown nosing your chaplain. You’re even more two-faced than Harvey!

You better shuffle your deck, DeLarge, and find some better rhymes.

Just ask Barbara Gordon. My lines break spines!

You liked Ludwig van, until you got hypnotized on Beethoven’s Ninth.

With a projector and nasty headgear to prize open your eyes.

So sick and traumatized inside you tried to commit suicide.

And the punchline? Well, you were cured all right.

WHO WON? Alex Joker