User blog:TheEyeOfAllEyes/Happy Wheels Battle Royale

This rap battle features characters from a computer game made by Jim Bonacci known as Happy Wheels, starting with who's revealed to be a homeless old man, Wheelchair Guy, going up against Effective Shopper, a fat woman on a motorized shopping cart.

Lyrics
HAPPY WHEELS BATTLE ROYALE

WHEELCHAIR GUY

VS

EFFECTIVE SHOPPER

BEGIN

Wheelchair Guy
I may be a very old man, but I can move very fast,

I got jets on my wheelchair to burn your stupid fat ass,

Stop eating out from your refridgerator, and start losing weight,

Every death you had, free falling has always been your fate.

Effective Shopper
At least I'm nimbler than you when I jump off of my cart,

With jets always making you hit something, you always fall apart,

Not only that, but you can't fly properly, give me your jets,

No wonder you die so much cause you're very old and homeless,

(Segway Guy enters the battle by falling)

Segway Guy
Aaah, well there goes my legs but doesn't matter doesn't it,

But what does matter is that you both can't even rap for shit,

Wheelchair Guy you always cry "oh my leg" like you actually care,

And Effective Shopper, you look homeless yourself, your feet is also bare.

(Irresponsible Dad enters the battle by repeatingly moving his bike back and forth while flying)

Irresponsible Dad
Here I come to best you all, as I fly like I'm from E.T.,

Wheelchair Guy, you have no rap or flying skill like me,

Effective Shopper and Segway Guy, your raps are crappy,

I'm the most popular man, I've shown you all who's your daddy.

Irresponsible Mom
Not so less irresponsible like me, whenever your son is dying,

you damn it but say you don't care at all, why are you not crying?

And the rest of you, stop your loud screaming, when you three get ripped in half,

I find it way fucking annoying even though others like to laugh.

Moped Couple
Moped Guy: You Irresponsible Parents should watch over your children more,

Moped Woman: We got one who's a dick to his son, and one who look's like a lesbian whore,

Moped Guy: We also have a dumbass who can't rotate his segway 360 degrees,

Not to mention, two bare-footed morons,

Moped Woman: A fat hag, and a wrinkly ass creep.

Lawnmower Man
I kill punkass motherfuckers with my lawnmower, so get the fuck off my front lawn,

Before I use your blood as fertilizer, and use it again after you respawn,

I leave massacres everywhere, I'm the best black playa you ever see,

White people like you all stank, and we know I'm the true MC.

Pogostick Man
I don't need wheels to outsmart you all, but at least I can still be able to roll,

I can even out-jump you Effective Shopper, I can jump over every tall pole,

I can backflip easily, frontflip easily, make every single landing perfect,

All things are possible with a pogostick, unlike you all I don't need to eject.

Explorer Guy
You may not need wheels Pogostick Man, but I don't need the ability to leap,

I got a minecart to go at high speeds to make long jumps, all your abilities are cheap,

Whenever any of you hear clicking noises, better get your asses off the rails,

Call me Indiana Jones, cause I'll be the first to the Holy Grail.

Helicopter Man
You all aren't anywhere close to being better than me, the Helicopter Man,

Don't need to get through any obstacles, just fly to the skies like my name is Peter Pan,

I cheat my way through most levels, you all die 10 seconds after you start to play,

I'm incredible, everybody loves me more, now no one wants to play any of you, no way.

Irresponsible's Children
Dad's Son: Your raps all suck more than sword throws, jet falls, and bottle runs,

Mom's Daughter: Even more than our Irresponsible Parents uncaring for the safety of us,

Mom's Son: 99.99% impossible for any of you to win,

Dad's Son: Sorry everyone, your butts have all been beaten,

All 3 Kids: By the Irresponsible's Children.

Poll
Who won? Wheelchair Guy Effective Shopper Segway Guy Irresponsible Dad Irresponsible Mom Moped Couple Lawnmower Man Pogostick Man Explorer Guy Helicopter Man Irresponsible's Children