User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Rose vs Rose vs Rose - Suggestions I Like that will Never Happen

Always the same day, Joe. "Suggestions I Like that will Never Happen" is the new name for "Epic Rat Battles of History." Yadda yadda yadda, introductions are for awake people. Todays battle pits Rose, surviver of the Titantic, against Rose, companion of the Doctor, against Rose, the Grimdark witch from Homestuck. Huge thanks to Wonder for guest starring as Rose Tyler, especially since I honestly don't know the first thing about Doctor Who. Other then that, I don't have much to say, other then the Epic Rap Battles of Horror S3 Premier should be out soon (Like, tomorrow-ish soon) so look forward to that I suppose. Other then that, read on.

Cast
Rose deWitt - Amy Bury

Rose Tyler - Angela Trimbur

Rose Lalonde - PressHearToContinue

Instrumental - Black Rose GET IT?!

Cast
Rose deWitt - Amy Bury

Rose Tyler - Angela Trimbur

Rose Lalonde - PressHeartToContinue

Instrumental - Black Rose GET IT?!

The Battle
Announcer: (0:21)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

ROSE!

VS!

ROSE!

VS!

ROSE...?

BEGIN!

Rose Bukater: (0:32)

Sails open! I'll show how to properly spit when I wreck foes!

I’m Queen of the World! Throw as many disses as you want, I'll Never Let Go!

Tyler? I’ll freestyle her! Run back into your time machine and cry to the Doctor

That you never knew about this slaughter, like how you never knew your father!

And Lalonde, like the Titanic andJohnRose, your ships are about to be sunk,

When Bukater books the defeat against this hentai-obsessed Lesbian drunk!

This is where we first met- And the same place where I’ll leave you two with scars,

Hop on board and put an octopus and a Bad Wolf six feet under the stars!

Rose Tyler: (0:54)

Bad Wolf bites harder than any pompous rich bitch,

And a goth with mommy issues. Time to make this quick.

This lovesick Rose makes me sick. Might as well call her Amy.

Drawing you up like the French girls of your boyfriend who'll never win over the Academy.

And Lalonde, seeing as you're a Seer, you certainly must see the facts,

On how your rapping here is more pointless than your Walkthroughs on GameFAQs!

This Rose known by another name is truly just as sweet.

I've traveled to the future and seen the outcome; you both will be beat!

Rose Lalonde: (1:17)

Kanaya...? Who are these two imposters standing to ban me and slam me?

An old lady and this molded shady fading grace can’t see she’s a bigger clown then Gamzee

You’re gonna try to chop me to lock me, it’ll take more than your hops, see

But I can’t stand either of your voices! I’ve made my choices! THIS HAS TO STOP!

Don’t Blink - or you’ll miss it, when I hit these two pricks who step to this witch,

Spit as rich as this snitch and reTARDIS Brit prick who both seem to be lacking deWitt

And your indisputable theories that you can best me with that flow and spit?

Allow me to show you both - Consider this your first lesson in showmanship

Rose Bukater: (1:38)

Quiet, will you! Things will get Grimdark if you persist your prattling,

So Tyler, fuck up more timelines and tell your Past Self not to battle me!

Don’t you Lovett? Nice words cool as icebergs to keep the boat rocking,

Leave you to bounce off propellers, rest in the silence of your icy coffins

Rose Tyler: (1:49)

You really think you can win? You're just two ignored, lonely gits!

One of you is already dead, the other tried committing suicide. Go on. DeWitt.

Your raps are a Meta-Crisis. I've been destined for greatness since birth.

You lost The Moment you thought you could step toRose Tyler: Defender of Earth!

Rose Lalonde: (2:09)

Defender of the Earth? Sweet Pea? This diluted duo is uneducated,

I’ll put that green bean back in the wheel chair when you two are Exterminated

I have realized inevitably that through this strife, the motives are tilted,

For it appears this whole time, these two thorny flowers were wilted

Announcer: (2:12)

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

NOAH DECIDES!

EPIC RAP

(EPIC RAP)

EPIC RAP

(EPIC RAP)

BATTLES OF HISTORY!

(BATTLES OF HISTORY!)

Who won? Rose (deWitt) Rose (Tyler) Rose (Lalonde)