User blog:TKandMit/The Grinch vs John McClane. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Off-Season

Brought to you in part by Jude.

It's thief vs policeman when The Grinch comes to town... New York's own John McClane reports to a crime scene and needs to cease a break-in and robbery of the festive times. Merry Christmas. Oh, and yes, Die Hard is a Christmas film. Fight me.

Cast
EpicLLOYD as John McClane

Nice Peter as The Grinch

Story
Grinch comes to New York City to steal Christmas once again. NYPD Officer John McClane reports to the scene of a reported home invasion and burglary. McClane investigates the crime scene, and hears a scuffling in the chimney. Rushing to the roof of the house, McClane confronts a green creature with a full burlap sack escaping the chimney and making his way to a one-horse sleigh. “NYPD, freeze! Get down on the ground, now!”

Intro
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Versus!

Begin!

The Grinch
In the night as cold as Winter, a man has told me to freeze

An action hero, I believe. No, just a vigilante of police

Officer McClane, once again out of his jurisdiction

When the Grinch is stirring trouble as he’s chimney swiftin’

Yet again, at the wrong place at the wrong time

Firstly versus the green face with the strong rhymes

This cop’s time to stop crimes are far out of his prime

How many times will he die hard? I’ve counted five!

And he’s now older, now balder, now fatter a vixen!

On rockets, off towers, on cowards and bitches!

You’re not Superman, Chernobyl would leave you singed

RoboCop’s chopped to bits, the win goes to Grinch in a pinch!

John McClane
Who in the Whoville are you, hooligan? Get down on the ground!

Put your hands up! I’m not letting you terrorize my town!

I hate Grinches! Christmas comes with his gift of trouble

I’ve escaped missiles! And I’ll sift through the rubble!

Taking you down’s like taking down any creep and punk

Putting you behind bars when yours stink, stank, stunk!

I got a bigger sack than you ever could steal!

Even Simon Says you’re a heel, and as charming as an eel!

Before you rob the home, you better hold the phone

Because your methods reminds me of a delinquent juvenile

Since Jim Carried your movie, while Frankenstein stole the show

Hannibal bit your style, that of a seasick crocodile!

The Grinch
Where is your God when you need him? You’re nothing without Zeus

You couldn’t save the Whos! I’m lettin’ loose in this city of Seuss!

Lost your wife, daughter and your son; don’t you know Family Matters?

You’re getting sleighed! For someone so Unbreakable, you’re getting shattered!

''*The Grinch runs to his sleigh and whips his dog, Max, taking off from the house and heading to a nearby mountain range. John McClane grabs onto the back of the sleigh and starts his final verse*''

John McClane
I’ll give you a red nose when it rains, dear; you’re fucking with the police

I’ll roast this beast when he comes to the Christmas Eve feast

I won’t allow you escape to your mountain, ruining holiday cheer,

So Grinch, Merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year!

...And Yippee Ki-Yay, mother fucker!

Who won?!

Who's next?



Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Who won? The Grinch John McClane