User blog:Wachowman/Wiki Tales: Borderlands ep9 (No Walls)

Last Time on Wiki Tales
Tiger: here's your fucking flute.

(Tiger throws the flute at CW)

Tiger: now give us the fucking Crozon.

Joe: what do you mean we don't need Crozon?

Tiger: that's what you-

(The screen breaks as Wachow is seen in front of darkness)

Wachow: well well, it seems I've made a remarkable discovery, these men who are "chasing" me, trying to kill me, these...bounty hunters have been able to not only find my weakness, but find the location for it...how, no normal people can do this so quickly like they did, so then I figured it out...they have plot armor, this is all for show, this can't be real.

(Wachow looks at the screen)

Wachow: and it's for you, people are watching me, and I'm just being controlled...but that's not happening now, thanks to Coupes new Anti-Suit, I can control myself, now this so called Wachowman...I control this story now...have a good "read".

(The screen goes black)

...

(Screen shows the group walking through the desert)

ROB: we have some more miles until our destination.

Steeler: define some.

ROB: an amount.

Joe: his estimations have been off.

Tiger: eh, it's fine, we have some more miles left.

Steeler: some as in 4 or some as in 400?

Wonder: no big difference.

Steeler: am I being punked right now?

ROB: a little less than some more miles left.

Joe: weird way to start off an episode...shit! I mean day.

Wonder: what was that?

Joe: shh, nothing.

Steeler: dude, you aren't supposed to break the forth wall.

Joe: Steeler!

Steeler: what?...oh shit.

Wonder: what the fuck is wrong with you guys today? You're letting the viewers know this is all an act!...shit! What the fuck!

ROB: this is a show!

Tiger: ROB shut up.

Joe: why is he acting stupid?

Wonder: why are we all acting stupid, that's normal for Steeler, not us.

ROB: this is episode 9!

Tiger: ROB!

ROB: Episode 9!

Tiger: Robotic Operating Apple, shut up!

Joe: dammit Tiger.

Tiger: fuck.

Steeler: what's happening?!

Wachow: ahahahaha.

(Wachow is seen in the sky with Four, Killer and Coupe behind him)

(Wachow is wearing some sort of weird suit)

Tiger: oh my god, Wachow.

ROB: that's also the name of the creator!

Tiger: ROB, Shut up!

Wonder: Wachow, is this your doing?

Wachow: indeed it is, with the help of my new friend Coupe, he gave me the power to see what this world really is...a story.

Joe: that explains it.

Wachow: and I now control this story, with my new Plot Armor, I am the main character, I am the creator, I can change anything...like this.

(Wonder is filled in a cloud and turns into another person)

LuigiGuy: what the fuck!

Steeler: pfft.

Joe: Wonder...what happened!

LuigiGuy: Wonder? C'mon Joe, my names Luigi, we've known this forever.

Joe: Luigi, what the hell...wait...what was I going on about.

Four: I remember when Wonder was Luigi.

Coupe: with this Plot Armor, the forth wall is like paper, you can break it easily.

Wachow: let's play a bit more shall we?

(ROB is turned into another person)

ROA:...I look the same.

Tiger: what'd you do to ROB?

ROA: ROB?

Tiger: oh, sorry ROA.

Steeler: this is fucking crazy.

Wachow: you guys want that gun?

(The users are teleported to in front The Star)

Wachow: here's The Star.

Killer: and Wachow will be nice and not bother you while you get it.

Wachow: I did change up the story a bit tho...good bye.

(Wachow disappears)

Wachow: I'm totally going to bother them.

Killer: later.

(Killer disappears)

Four: peace.

(Four disappears)

Coupe: uh...farewell?

(Coupe disappears just as Steeler shoots at him)

Steeler: *holding up gun* shit.

Luigi: guys, what next.

Tiger: well...we're here...

ROA: Tiger, what do we do of we see them.

Tiger: we'll figure it out, ROA.

(The group enters the cave that leads to The Star)

(Screen shows Wachow, Four, Killer and Coupe in a dark room)

Wachow: ok men, hit me with ideas.

Four: a giant man eating pizza.

Wachow: love it, it's random, will cause problems.

Killer: make everyone on Pandora blind for 10 minutes every hour.

Wachow: yes, I love it, evil!

Coupe: end world hunger?

Wachow:...

Four:...

Killer:...

Wachow:...we'll work on you.

Four: sir, it looks like those users went into the cave.

(Screen shows Four looking at a small screen following the users)

Wachow: just wait until they find out what I did...ahahahaha!

(Screen shows Tiger and ROA in front of a house)

Tiger:...

ROA:...

Joe:...you guys know you don't have to do this right.

Tiger: yes we do...

(Tiger knocks on the door)

(Screen shows Wachow watching the screen)

Wachow: now.

Killer: got it.

(Screen shows Tiger knock on the door again)

Man 1: I'm coming! One second!

Tiger:...

(The door Slightly opens)

Tiger:...

(Before the door can open all the way the house blows up from the inside)

(The group is knocked back)

Tiger: ahg!

Luigi: shit!

(Screen shows Wachows group)

Wachow: ahahaha!

Killer: oh man, that's perfect.

Coupe: did you just kill his family?!

Wachow: ahaha, yeah, I did, made sure he lived to see it too.

Coupe: why!

Wachow: to show what happens when you mess with me.

Four: hey boss, look at him!

(Screen shows Tiger looking at the blown up house)

Tiger: M-mom...

Steeler:...

Tiger: D-dad...

Joe:...

Tiger:...

Luigi:...Tiger.

Tiger: I'm going to kill that motherfucker!

ROA: one second!

(ROA turns into a small plane and flies away)

(ROA returns a few seconds later with the Crosom gun)

ROA: I have the fucking gun, now, let's go fucking kill Wachow.

Tiger: *takes the gun* dont ask me twice.

Steeler: woah woah.

Luigi: guys, calm down.

Tiger: that motherfucker just killed my family!

Luigi: I want to kill Wachow too...but where is he? We have no idea.

Joe: he's right, we need help.

(Wachows voice can be heard for a second)

Wachow: help? Ok, here.

(TK, Patts and 2 Ynkrs poof out of no where)

Patts: what the fuck?

TK: how'd I get here?

Ynkr1: is that another me?

Ynkr2: I was wondering why I had a mirror following me around all day.

Steeler:...there's 2 Ynkrs...

Wachow: I didn't even add that in.

Joe: Wachow fuck off!

(Joe is pushed against a wall by an unknown force)

Wachow: don't test me.

(Joe is released and falls to the ground)

Patts: what the fuck was that?

Luigi: Wachow controls the story.

Patts: the what?!

Lugi: the story.

Patts:...what was I thinking about...nevermind, ok, so he controls the story, what do we do?

Steeler: we have the gun to kill him.

Tiger: just help me find him.

TK: where would he be?

Ynkr2: I bet he's in a dark room.

Joe: wow, I wonder where a dark room is on fucking Pandora, look at the town we're in! It's a fucking pitch black cave!

Ynkr1: so he must be here!

Ynkr2: Ynkr, let's look!

Ynkr1: I'm on it!

(The Ynkrs run off in a direction to look for Wachow)

Luigi:...they were no help at all.

Steeler: are you surprised?

Luigi: no.

ROA: can we get somewhere please?

Patts: but where, I'm clueless about this.

TK: I can't help either.

Four: uhgggg, you guys are boring!

(Four appears on front of the group)

Four: if you need something to do then let's fight, I might give you a hint if you live.

Wachow: Four, what are you doing?

Four: trust me Wachow.

Wachow: no, that's a terrible idea.

Four: fighting them?

Wachow: trusting you.

Four: I got this.

Wachow:...if you say so.

(4 Fours appear all with shotguns)

Four: trust me! I got this!

'''FOUR! DONT GET OUTNUMBERED'''

(All the Fours point there guns at the group)

Luigi: move!

Four: I'll give you 4 seconds!

(The group spreads out as some get followed by a Four)

Luigi: *dodges a Bullet* did I just dodge a shot gun?

Four2: what the-

(Four2 looks at his hands which now have pistols)

Four2: Wachow what the fuck!

Wachow: I don't want them to die, oh, and goodbye.

(Four2 looks in front of him to see Luigis gun)

Luigi: what he said.

(Luigi shoots Four2 in the face as he falls to the ground)

Wachow: your welcome.

Luigi:...

(Screen shows Four3 chasing Patts and Steeler)

Patts:...wait, why are we running, I haven't been thinking lately.

(Patts stops running)

(Four3 aims at Patts)

(Four3 shoots but nothing comes out)

Four3: huh?

(Patts throws a knife at Four3 hitting him in the head)

(Four3 Falls to the ground)

Steeler: wow, that was simple.

Patts: why didn't he have ammo?

Wachow: your welcome.

Patts:...

Steeler:...

(TK is seen on Four4s back trying to bring him down)

(Four and Joe are watching)

Joe: can't I just shoot him?

Four4: this is annoying.

TK: nah, I got this.

Four: his back or this battle?

TK: both.

Joe: TK you can't fight.

TK: I can so.

Four4: I don't weigh that much.

TK: neither do I.

Four4: then bring me down.

TK: I will.

Joe: fuck this.

(Joe shoots Four4 in the head)

(Four4s body and TK fall to the ground)

Four: hmm, nice, ok, you all lived.

(The rest of the group appears)

Luigi: Tiger, ROA, were you guys even chased?

Tiger: no, Wachowman forgot about us while writing this.

ROA: kinda sad.

Joe: this fucking episode.

Four: ok, you want a hint...we are indeed, in the dark, peace.

(Four tries to teleport away but fails)

Four: huh?

Wachow: what did I day about disobeying orders?

Four: c'mon Wachow, they needed to know som-

(Fours neck is snapped by an unseen force)

Four:...

Wachow: next time you listen, well, looks like there won't be a next time.

(Four drops to the ground)

Wachow: I'm impressed, you actually beat Fours people.

Luigi: you helped us.

Patts: you did, why?

Wachow: he disobeyed my orders, if you do that, you never win, just like all of y-

(The Ynkrs can be heard)

Ynkr1: hey! I found them!

Wachow: what the fuck?!

Killer: who let you guys in?!

Coupe: did Four lock the door on his way out?

Killer: he teleported!

Wachow: he teleported from outside! God dammit Four!

(Four is revived back to life)

Four: huh?...I'm ali-

(Fours neck is snapped again)

Joe: geez.

Tiger: wait...is Wachow actually here?!

Wachow: shit I completely forgot about these idiots.

Ynkr2: put your hands up!

Wachow: Killer, kill them or something, Coupe do something too.

Coupe: sir, don't panic with the suit, it could make it malfunction.

Luigi: let's go find them!

Ynkr1: we're at that purple house, it's the only house with color.

Tiger: I know where that is.

Joe: then let's go.

Steeler: I needed lines.

(The group starts to run to Wachows location)

Wachow: no! no! no!

Coupe: sir!

(Screen shows Wachow)

(Wachows Plot Armor starts to light up)

Wachow: Ahhhg! What's happening?!

Coupe: you panicked too much, it's breaking!

Wachow: stop it!

Coupe: I can't!

(The Plor Armor explodes into pieces)

Wachow: ahg! Fuck! No!

(Screen shows the group)

Luigi:...wha-

(Luigi turns back into Wonder)

Wonder: what the...oh shit I'm Wonder.

ROB: and I'm ROB!

Joe: everyone back to normal?!

Tiger: seems like it, let's go!

(The group arrives at the house with the 2 Ynkrs outside getting shot at by Killer)

Ynkr2: howdy.

TK: there's still 2 Ynkrs?

Wachow: I said I didn't add that in!

(The group ducks at upcoming bullets)

Killer: fuck off you hear me?!

Tiger: I'm good!

Man 1: Wait!

(Everyone freezes what they're doing)

(A Man appears in front of the group)

Joe: who are you?

Wachowman: I am Wachowman, I created this story, and no one is following the fucking script!

Wonder: what're you talking about?

Wachowman: right here, you were supposed to be in a giant arena facing Wachows men until you faced Wachow.

Steeler: so we face you?

Wachowman: no, Wachows men.

Steeler: yeah, Wachowman.

Wachowman: WachowsMEN!

Steeler: Wachowman, your name.

Wachowman: Four Killer and Coupe! Then Peter and Lloyd come out, you kill of of them, then get to Wachow! Why the fuck are there 2 Ynkrs?!

Wachow: it really wasn't me.

Wachowman: so, we will go to this arena.

(All the users are teleported to an arena)

Wachowman: you will fight the bosses.

(Four, Killer and Coupe appear while Wachow is looking from afar)

Wachowman: and make this story the way it's supposed to go, but now, I don't choose who wins, this is based of you now, good luck, don't die or else I can't keep making episodes.

(Wachowman disappears)

Coupe:...

Patts:...

Ynkr2:....

Tiger: hey Wachow!

Wachow: *looks at Tiger*

Tiger: I will be the one killing you today!

(The screen goes black)

Next Time on Wiki Tales
Four: if I'm alive...I guess I'll go up first.

(4 Fours appear)

Four: no one will help you now!

Wachow: look at you all, without Wachowman, you guys are nothing.

Wonder:...

Tiger: Wachow! I will kill you before you see a single one of you men die!

(Bullets are heard go into someone)