User blog:TheRealMawtus/CRBoM: Charlie Chaplin vs Mr. Bean

CIVIL RAP BATTLES OF MAWTUSRY

CHARLIE CHAPLIN

VS

MR. BEAN

BEGIN!

Charlie Chaplin (Little Tramp):

Ladies and Gentlemen! Behold the man who is a bean!

And the worst excuse for a joke ever seen!

I'll best you in this battle, you'll be Caught In The Rain

'Cause I keep in the Limelight when I bring the pain!

To all Essenay-sayers I say "I'm so handsome,

That even in death, people hold my body for ransom!"

I'm A King In New York and I make everybody smile

I also make all the young ladies swoon in the aisles!

It's A Dog's Life, kid, and you're wet behind the ears

You should have just stayed an electrical engineer!

Mr. Bean

Bah! I will crush your feeble rhymes in my path like a tank!

So go back to waddling 'round Switzerand while I take my millions to the bank

Wanted dead by the Nazis, you should have learned to stay clean

You played the Tramp because you didn't have a bean!

And with that Hitler moustache, you really are a sight

there's no colour in your comedy, your films are black and white

Whilst I'm a comedy classic with a face of elastic,

over one hundred expressions, each and every one fantastic

Cat's got your tongue, you second class mime?

Now teddy, take the mic... Oh, nevermind

Charlie Chaplin (Great Dictator)

First off, I'm sorry but I won't ever want to be a king.

I wish instead to do naught but be helping

But never, of course, to this pitiful little man

Who angers everyone from America to Japan

I will goose step your ass back to the day

Your little Irma Gobb turned you away

The earth is rich but you are just greedy

So maybe use those millions to help the needy

The misery that you are will soon be passed

So come, men, let us throw away this farce!

Blackadder:

Well it seems you certainly took your time

But I wouldn't even subject Melchett to your rhymes

Just standing here in front of you is wasting my time

Mr. sent-to-the-workhouse-twice-by-age-nine!

(That's brilliant Blackadder! How did you do it?)

I simply said what came to mind, George, you twit

And Chaplin, don't think I won't finish this off

He who's rhymes smell worse than Baldrick's loincloth

When I beat you, I won't leave you with even my fist

And you'll be put in a madhouse like your mother and her syphilis

Who won?

Who's next?

You decide!

(Logo sings to the theme of Blackadder)

'''Civil Rap! Civil Rap! Battles of Mawtusryyyy!'''