User blog:TKandMit/Fifty Shades of El Tigre

Author's note: This is a parody in every sense of the word. Don't do an offend. This was created 100% off of a stupid joke I made last week. I wrote this in less than a half hour, and is not serious in anyway.

I don't do commissions.

Story
Samantha B. “Bantha” Peel sat in her apartment, editing an article she had written the day before. Bantha had an English literature major from the Wiki State University, and since then had the opportunity to write for some news papers. She lived in an apartment with her friend, Lexa Francis, who also wrote for a paper they had in common. Speaking of which, Bantha heard the door handle rattle behind her, then open.

“Oi mate,” Bantha reeled her head around to Lexa.

“Oi,” Lexa muttered, then sneezed.

“You still sick?”

“Oi.”

“Oh boy.”

“I won’t be able to make my interview today. You think you can cover me?”

“Sure thing, Lexa. When is it?”

“Like, in twenty minutes. You know Tiger Corp.’s entrepreneur, Christian Tigre?” Lexa coughed into a tissue.

Bantha hopped out of her chair, collecting her laptop and notebook, “Yee I’m on it.”

“Oi,” Bantha stated to the suited clerk in the main lobby of Tiger Corp.

“Oi, are you Lexa Francis?” the clerk asked.

“I’m covering her today.”

“Yee. Go on in.”

Bantha continued from the desk to the big glass doors. She took the elevator to the top, jamming out to the music that played in the elevating chamber that brought her closer to her future waifu- uh, I mean, interviewee.

Bantha shook her head towards the writer of this story. The doors to the elevator opened and she walked out. She came (...) towards another pair of large glass doors, which was opened by an ominous figure. The figure led the journalist to yet another door, labeled “Tigre’s Office”. The figure knocked on the door and said, “She’s here.”

“Let her in,” a voice echoed from behind the door. The figure opened it and let Bantha walk on in, leaving her to the new room.

In the room, a young 30-something-year-old man sat at a chair to an oval desk, while typing away on his laptop. This man was the legendary Christian Tigre himself. He stopped what he was doing and greeted the journalist, “Oi, Lexa, good to see you made it.” “Oi, I’m Bantha, not Lexa.”

“Oh. Yee.”

“Whatchu doing there on the laptop? Working?”

“Nah, writing RWBY fanfiction,” Tigre corrected.

“O, I c.”

“Yee.”

“So, first question: who exactly is Christian Tigre?”

“I’m fifty shades of fucked up.”

“Lol wut.”

“Wanna bang?”

“Nah.”

"I got candle wax and spanking toys, I hear that's what the point of this story is."

"Then yee, mate."

Epilogue
And that’s the story of how MunKitteh came to be. The end.