User blog:Wallnut3457/Rap Battle 7: Captain Hook vs. The Governor

This features Peter Pan's rival, Captain Hook vs. The Walking Dead's main antagonist, The Governor. Enjoy! ^_^

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

CAPTAIN HOOK!

VS.

THE GOVERNOR!

BEGIN!

Captain Hook:

Come at me Blake! Aim your Berretta directly to my face

I lost my hand but I didn't expect you to lose the human race!

I'll be dropping cannonballs down your ol' Woodbury

And you better learn how to clean up cuz things will really get dirty!

Your own dick was pinned to a 2x4

Then you slept with countless virgin gun-shooting hores!

Face the fact that you will never destroy Rick Grimes

You wanna know when you'll die? Now it's the time!

The Governor:

You must be a kid rip-off of goddamn Jack Sparrow

Your swords won't work. Try a tactical bow and arrow

Indeed I will fire a gun on your face

Then toss your lifeless body in this wild-goose chase!

I Ain't No Judas, that's why I won't suicide no more

Why don't you go back to Neverland and celebrate on your shore?

You might wanna grab your gun cuz it's time to go to hell

You're just a action figure and I'm putting you back in your shelf!

Captain Hook:

Sheesh. You're poor! Do dollars even count there?

Pass the compassion around man, but don't forget to share!

I'm a true pirate! I lead a hoard of bandits

You're no governor. You're just a poorly voted candid!

I heard you took pictures of Andrea's thighs

And it's true you can't 20/20 cuz you lost your own eye!

Stop trying to be a pirate and admit your defeat

And I'll turn you into one of them zombie meat!

The Governor:

You're an idiot! Wearing a red bath robe

At least I don't watch Tinkerbell p*rn on my brand new iPhone!

I'll be hostaging your Mr. Smee and give you a bloody scarf

You fail as a pirate, be one of the 7 Dwarfs!

It's a story called Hook and the day he dies

He tried to evade it with pixie dust to make him fly

But he didn't know I had a sniper to bring him down

And Hook's down. This captain is down for the count!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

Who won? Captain Hook The Governor