User blog:TheMindofMe/Need to get this off my chest

I really do not want to make another guilt trip blog like all the other serious ones I've posted, but my heart is deeply affected and I need to write stuff down. So just hear my story out before you jump to conclusion.

Before I speak, I'd like to request that all comments are kept serious, with no simple "K" or "TL;DR".

As you all know, it is the Christmas season. The one time of the year that is meant to be joy-filled and peaceful. I've always had a burning passion for Christmas, as it not only celebrates the coming of the Jewish sorcerer of whom I follow, but is also a time to just stay with family, take it easy, and reflect on your life for the past year. But these past few years, my joy and ease for the holidays have taken a skew. The explanation is quite elaborate.

Two years ago, I was informed that my family was taking a vacation to the Dutch tropic of Aruba for Christmas. I didn't know what to think, because we had always stayed at home every Christmas up until then. I felt an early displeasure of leaving the holidays, but eventually came to enjoy it after the trip. I thought it was the best Christmas I ever had.

Then come November of 2015. My family begins discussing our trip BACK to the Aruba nation, this time being in early January. They found a way to make that work, because I had been homeschooled at the time, and my brother in college had an insanely-long winter break. I wanted to feel the same joy last trip brought me, but I couldn't. On top of missing out on so many big priorities, I was also given the task of calling off my 4-week Christmas break the curriculum had offered to work ahead for the trip. It made me think certain thoughts nobody should think, and even slightly ruined Christmas for me. I knew I had to take action, so I stopped homeschooling and enrolled in a small private school. This way I don't have the liberty to vacation whenever I desire.

So, now it's the holiday season of the next year, and my family is taking yet ANOTHER trip back to the same island we visited the previous 2 winters. But this time, it's at a different time than the last. We take off at 3 in the morning on my second day of winter break, land across the state on Christmas Eve, and have to drive til early Christmas morning in a rental car throughout the blistering cold. This is where I have an issue.

I have my share of excitement for this trip, but flying and driving a car we don't own on Christmas Eve isn't exactly what I had in mind. When you're in the air, you're putting your own life at risk. You could get a nuke drilled into your head or have a plane malfunction at any time. There's also the risk of your flight potentially getting delayed and having to spend the night at the airport. And to do all that on Christmas Eve? A day when people are normally at home or at their vacation residence, relaxing in peace? I felt like praying that our flight would be canceled, but I figured that won't be worth it. All I can do is hope that next year, my family will return to our initial ways of staying home for the holidays, taking it easy.

That is all I have to say on the subject matter. If you'd like to post a word of encouragement, feel free. If you'd like to berate me for being an immature baby about Christmas, feel free. Just know that I am speaking from the heart here and this stuff deeply affects the way I feel. Thanks for reading.