User blog comment:JakeTheManiac/Fourth Official Wiki Rap Tournament Round 1: TKandMit vs JakeTheManiac/@comment-26494243-20150704051339

Opinion time (my vote won't count): Jake took this for me.

Jake's verses were shorter, they flowed better, and they rhymed better. When I read TK's verses, I can't imagine how they would flow or how they would sound. Some of them, especially the last verse, are overly long and don't fit with the line they are supposed to match.

This line in particular:

"Now listen up, who’s Jake? Oh yeah, this place has never noticed him.

‘Til he drops a blog one day, oh wait, who’s in your first episode? Mit?"

They are the right length for eachother but I can't think of how it would be said so that it flowed and rhymed. I don't have any trouble imagining what Jake's verses would sound like if they were spoken out loud. There has to be a pause between "episode" and "Mit", so that means there also has to be a pause between "Noticed" and "him". The problem isn't just that a half-rhyme shouldn't be used when there's major emphasis on the final syllable. When we read the first line, why would we imagine a pause between "noticed" and "him". In this kind of unexpected flow, the part that dictates the flow (the rhetorical question with 'Mit' as the answer) should come first so that we know how the second line is supposed to be read.

One good thing I'll say about TK's lyrics is that he uses a lot of assonance. I think he should keep that up but focus a bit more on how the verses line up together and the timing.

I'm a big fan of TK. If you're reading this, it isn't too late to step up you're game for the next round. This is just my opinion. Seems most people thought you won.