User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Battles of Fiction number 7 - Hercule Poirot vs John Luther

Erm yeah. I wrote this one faster than I meant to. Apologies if you don't know the characters bug they're personal favourites of mine and this was one of my original ideas. I was going to use Holmes but felt that was a bit cliche so....

Protagonist of TV crime drama, John Luther, takes on Agatha Christie creation, Hercule Poirot to see who is the better detective.

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Poirot

DeStorm Power as John Luther

Dante Cimadamore as Pink Panther (cameo)

The Battle
HP: John, you're about to succumb to Hercule's twelve tasks

A famous Belgian detective who's spitting killer raps

You're just another dark antihero so I ask you to bring it on

Doing Christmas and Halloween specials even better than the Simpsons

I'll kill you, and after the funeral I'll dance upon your grave

Whilst your letting people fall, I'm rising to save the day

I'm off now John, to the North like Zoe did

I don't expect a proper fight, why don't you just go call on Alice

JL: This Sherlock Holmes wannabe thinks he can take on an experienced copper?

You were the killer in your own last story, wow what a shocker

I'll get Benny to track your number, rest assured we are on the way

I'm not needed for this skirmish, I'll just send Ripley and Gray

There's gonna be a murder all right, but I don't need no Chinese train

You can rap all you want, all I hear is your defeat again and again

I spit the Teller rhymes in this battle of wits

I'm an unbeatable DCI, you're just an amateur detective

HP: Your best friend killed your wife while she was sleeping with other guys

I take back what I said, you've lead a pretty shitty life

You can't brag about epic plots, your show only lasted three seasons

Luther's been royally dethroned and banished like Napoleon

JL: You come second to Miss Marple, while I investigate murders and rapists

The highlight of your sleuthing career was your Pink Panther appearances

Call me William the Conqueror, because I won this Battle of Hastings

The sunlight loves all of you, but love for you is found wanting

Who won? John Luther Hercule Poirot