User blog:BlueFrackle/Feral Rap Battles of the Animal Kingdom: Anglerfish vs. Firefly

Before you read this blog, please read this one. Unless you have absolutely no interest in doing so, in which case, don't.

Alright, now, this idea was suggested by Meatholl. Two bright MCs in a duel to see who can illuminate... Actually, I can't make puns, so I won't even try.

Battle
FERAL RAP BATTLES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM!!! ANGLERFISH VS. FIREFLY!!! BEGIN!

Anglerfish:

Glow little glow worm, truth is that you blow worm

Can't keep with my flow storm, soon I'll doom this low whore!

I got allure and the brightest bioluminescence

I'm in bathypelagic water but, good lord, you're dense!

I'm a lone hunter and my prey gets trapped worse than Ackbar

You're only good for little kids who like to keep you in a jar!

You won't go far, I strike a light in the perpetual dark

The black seadevil haunts away this woodland pixie spark

I stretch the rhyme like my stomach, you got no place to go

See my decoy and you can bid farewell to life, you schmo!

Down in the abyss where there is no one else to see you glow

When I Google you I get a fucking Joss Whedon show

Firefly:

This kind of shit does not affect me, I maintain my Serenity

But in the whole of creation I haven't seen an uglier entity

I mean, look, I don't know even what to feel when I see your face

It's like a cringe-inducing Muppet out of Pigs in Space!

I'm like the traffic lights because I got control over flow

And I can beat the crap out of a deuterostome asshole!

I follow your trail like my larvae trails a tasty slug

I leave you shocked, you see, that's why they call me lightning bug!

Hunt upside down all you want because, bitch, I'll make you spin!

I mess you up like luciferase upon luciferin

Even my blood is toxic! Brought to the surface you turn to jelly

Atrophied like your husband clinging there on your belly

But sure, you make a lovely couple: a monster and a parasite

Can't even claim it's still a better love story than Twilight!

Anglerfish:

My flow's illicium; rhyming esca-lates, I'm clearly brighter

So call me Melanocetus, or simply MC niger!

You're a cannibalistic nit that spends the day under a leaf

Want beef with me? Like your lifespan, this shall be pretty brief!

You taste like shit, but to think that draws me away is unwise

You can't go back, follow the light that leads to your demise

You got fire in your name but that's just to mislead

They say you got cold light 'cause you emit no heat

Firefly:

I waste no energy, it's the ultimate reaction done right

Almost 100% of the joules produced convert to light!

My brightness gets me laid, yours just gets you fat

And I'm surely not afraid of an ugly sea twat

I got a special display pattern made out just to defeat you

One thing we know about God is that He got a thing for beetles

WHO WON?!! WHO'S NEXT?!! YOU DECIDE!!! FERAL RAP BATTLES OF THA ANIMAL KINGDOM!!!