User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS Season 3 Episode 2: John the Baptist vs Priapus

Welcome to the 2nd battle of MBOHS Season 3! Today we have the teacher of Jesus, John the Baptist versus Priapus, the dude who possesses the largest penis in all of myth. Yeah. Sex vs no sex bitches letsa go.



Beat
Starts at 0:09

John the Baptist:
 The Socrates of Christianity is here to critically preach,

 Against a walking STD who lost his way, now I must tend to his beef

 The priest of peace, whose mind sowed the seeds of modern belief

 While your seeds created the sin that is murdering unborn babies

 Weren’t you the god of the garden? That explains why you want to produce

 I was made from the blessing of the pure, Luke has the proof! And then I grew

 into a dude whose flows Jesus found worthy enough to baptize to

 For a god of the plants, your antics resulted in the extinction of a root

 That served as birth control, now it’s just salt in the sod

 What more can I say? You’re an Asia Minor god

Priapus:
 Cool! I got a huge dick! Alright, now that that shit is outta the way,

 The fuck is wrong with you, shitting on the gays gettin’ laid?

 Fuck man! Even with straight sex you’re gripping the balls

 I’m about to charge ya, like this is sexual assault!

 My mortal enemies are donkeys, ‘cause I destroy that ass

 Fuck yeah, this ain’t love makin’, I’m not coming in last!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> A bitch gave Herod good head so he gave her your head,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> So come on, let’s party, Baptists get the babies wet!

John the Baptist:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Have you no self-control? Everyone has the potential to become flawless,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I pity your need for senseless pleasure, allow an expert to drop some knowledge

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Intercourse is an act between a male and a female with mutual consent and love

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> This sacred performance isn’t to be degraded by swinging flings and shaven nuts!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Do you forget the dangers? Death in labor along with diseases swapped with spit,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You aren’t the true Creator of the life in your hand, make like whore’s thighs and split!

Priapus:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> The locks I got ain’t nothin’ compared to the ones you got on sex

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Unlike my face with the ladies, aren’t happy you got that off your chest?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> And yeah, that’s why you wrap, but not twice, ‘cause the rubber’s gonna tear,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Be a responsible lover and let your spouse be aware of the affair

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Unlike condoms, under heat, my performance has no chance to fail!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> And man, I appreciate the worry, but my sex tip sizes up to scale! (Oh!)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I got stiffed by my gods, but I’m lovin’ it, it ain’t hard to tell,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> But if your God made AIDs, tell him to go love himself!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE

MYTHICAL RAP BATTLES OF HISTORICAL

FUCK!

HISTORICAL

FUCK!

HISTORICAL

FUCK!

FUCUUUUCUCKKCKCKCKCKKKKKK

....fuck

SHIT.



Poll
Who Won? John the Baptist Priapus