User blog:Laboratory Tuxedo 500098/ERB Wiki Deathmatch-Fire vs Flare

(Setting: Faggotville, 4:00 pm)

(Flare is patrolling his patron city)

Flare: Hm, a quiet night in Faggotvi-

(Flare is cut off by a familiar figure standing in the distance)

Flare: ...Fire. What are you doing in my patron city?

(Fire walks closer, clearly armed)

Fire: I'm just walking around.

(Flare tightens his grip on his beanbag shotgun)

Fire: Please, Flare, I'm just walking about...

(Fire pulls out a flamethrower and starts firing, Flare dodging)

Flare: SHIT!

(Flare fires the shotgun into Fire's chest, stunning him)

Fire: Ow! Ow! Ow!

(Flare charges at Fire and dropkicks him, sending Fire into a streetlight)

Flare: Had enough?

Fire: Bitch, I just got started!

(Fire gets up and rips the streetlight out of the ground)

Flare: ...Shit.

(Fire throws the streetlight at Flare, only for Flare to parry it)

Fire: ...God damnit.

(Flare whacks Fire with the streetlight, knocking Fire into a fire hydrant)

Flare: I WIN!

(Fire gets up and pulls out a Hank Hill mask)

Flare: wut.

(Fire puts on the mask)

Fire: BWAHHH!!!

(Flare goes flying into the Faggotville population sign)

Fire: I dish out beatings and beating accessories.

(Fire charges up his Iron Will missile, Flare knocked out)

Fire: When someone tries to block, fuck em' up with a missile!

(Fire launches himself at Flare, who is still unconscious)

(KA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!)

(A small crater is formed, Fire standing with a smirk)

Fire: Looks like that bitch Flare is go-

Flare: Hey, fucker!

(Fire looks up to see Flare, charged with the unholy flames of hell)

Fire: Goddamnit, you used your proxy to change your location!

(Fire charges himself, charging himself with the flames of glory)

Flare: You ready to play?

Fire: You ready to get fucked up?

(Fire flies up, inferno streaking from his body, Flare, focusing on Fire)

Fire: FUCK YOU!

(giant sky explosion of flames)

(Fire and Flare fall from the sky, both knocked out)

Flare and Fire: (snores)

(They fall flat on the ground, waking them up)

Fire: HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD?

Flare: Suspension of disbelief, bitch!

(Flare suplexes Fire into a fire hydrant)

Fire: Ah, fuck!

(Fire kicks up and powerbombs Flare)

Flare: Oof!

(Flare gets up, weakened)

Fire: Flare, either fight and die or surrender and live.

Flare: I won't fight.

Fire: Good.

Flare: My friends will.

(Suddenly, a pit forms under Fire, Fire falling into it, breaking his legs)

Flare: RELEASE THE BIDOOFS!!

(A bunch of hostile Bidoofs fall into the pit)

Fire: No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

(The Bidoofs tear apart Fire, his skin and flesh being torn off)

Fire: Shit!!!!

(Flare pulls out a crossbow)

Flare: Welcome to Faggotville.

(Flare pulls the crossbow's trigger, Fire's head now having a crossbow bolt in it.)

Fire: Agh! Fuc......

(Fire dies as the Bidoofs drag him down the pit, doing God knows what to the guy)

Flare: Popultion: you.

FLARE WINS

Which battle's next? Killer vs Epicnail Wrath vs Coupe Bieberlaku vs Dongs