User blog:Jella141/Lee & Clementine vs Joel & Ellie - Historical Epic Rap Battles



Bloop. HERB's back, though who knows when the next one will come out. Following E3, I figured I'd rewrite the video game-themed battle I've been meaning to release for a while. So ye, enjoy.

Lee & Clementine vs Joel & Ellie is the tenth installment of Historical Epic Rap Battles and the tenth episode of Season 1. It features protagonists of Naughty Dog's The Last of Us video game series, Joel & Ellie, rapping against protagonists of the first season of Telltale Games' The Walking Dead video game series, Lee & Clementine, in a battle of post-apocalyptic duos from worlds filled with infected creatures.

Intro





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Battle
[Note: ''Joel is in olive, Ellie is in dark red , Lee is in brown , Clementine is in light blue , and Kenny is in tan. If both characters from either team are rapping together, they are in regular text.'']

Joel & Ellie:
(Beat starts at 0:20)

Hey, assholes! Jesus, Ellie! He's got a little girl right there!

See if I care! Let's win this shit fair and fucking square!

* sigh* Fine, kiddo. We'll leave a pair speechless beyond repair

Till they're gasping in despair like toxic spores are in the air!

The fever hits quick when we spit sicker than the Clicks!

Hurl lyrical licks at pricks like a blitz of bottles and bricks!

Heard Clem gotta taste of human meat, so, bitch, eat a dick!

I'm immune to the infection! Your plot armor ain't so thick!

Just took one scratch to Lee's wrist! Get the gist? You're weak!

Fuck with us and you're a casualty of our endless kill streak!

While corpses  walk the walk, you talk the talk a fucking lot!

Sitting around, pondering more filler than Michonne's plot!

I mean, dialogue options? Where's the choice for some action?

We put the "play" into "gameplay", givin' our fans satisfaction!

Another round's coming your way! Fire off bars as lethal as lead!

Ain't The Last you seen of Us, but the final chapter of Walking Dead!

Lee & Clementine:
(1:01)

Lee… you never said they would be so mean…

Don't worry, Sweetpea. Pretend it's just a bad dream.

Ellie best learn to swim fast; lady, you're in troubled waters!

Rely on Joel's care? Look where that got his fucking daughter!

Swear! Oh, guess I got carried away with the rhymes. Sorry.

It's okay. I'm 'bout to pop 'em with more shots than Tess' body!

That's the spirit, Clem! We can take 'em! You won't recover

When Kenny comes to mess up you crazy mother fuckers!

We're original! Ellie went and ripped off Ellen Page's look!

Not to mention those F-bombs from Negan in our comic book!

We've spread like a pandemic, with piles of products to our name!

You have two of the same game and barely one sequel! Lame!

Can't top our fame! Hehe! Your future doesn't seem too bright,

But we'll shine a light till the Fireflies swarm you in the night!

If these Naughty Dogs turned, they'd still be all bark, no bite!

Skilled in combat? Ha! That state senator put up more of a fight!

Joel & Ellie:
(1:42)

Holy shit! A convicted murderer who sucks at killing a verse?

No wonder Lee's wife Left him Behind; his flow couldn't be worse!

The chick split faster than his fucking arm! Ouch! Must sting!

Not as much as Clem finding her folks roaming as dead things!

We craft raps smoother than our frame rate, though I should admit,

When it comes to your graphics, it's as if A. J. drew that shit!

You Tell too many stale Tales! To hell with you and the whiny brat!

Now do us a solid: fuck off! *Lee and Clementine will remember that*

Lee & Clementine:
(2:02)

Solid? Like our friendship? You loathed each other from day one!

Only reason Joel journeyed with Ellie's to score a few damn guns!

Wanna bring up exes, man? I woulda let your woman abort

'Fore she ditched your ass and left you to cope with child support!

This lesbian's face earned a kiss, from Clem's clenched fist!

How convenient: she's the cure! Talk about a cheap twist!

Shoulda stayed in your quarantine zone; our raps are too ill!

Game over! Slaughtering you's an understatement; we're Overkill!

Poll
Who Won? Joel & Ellie Lee & Clementine