User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 2: George Washington vs Captain America

In the second re-installment of Awesome Rap Battles, first president George Washington faces off against Marvel superhero Captain America to see who is more patriotic.

Information
Originally released: February 22nd, 2014

Characters: George Washington, Captain America, Iron Man

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

GEORGE WASHINGTON!

VERSUS!

CAPTAIN AMERICA!

BEGIN!

George Washington:

I bitch slapped the redcoats back across the Atlantic,

Your codename's more generic than Captain Planet,

Call up Ma-Ti, because you're gonna need love after this,

The whole world heard my shots, I owned the British!

You saved the day? I saved the whole God-damned nation!

I don't dare to Marvel at this Uncle Sam abomination!

Beating this Frisbee throwing punk is gonna be easy,

Call me Batman bitch, cause I'm all about the DC!

I signed the declaration, lead the country through war,

You spend your time with the comic industry’s whores,

I may have wooden teeth, but these don't tell lies.

I'll chop you down like loyalists, make American pie.

Captain America:

I've got a Hulk; you've got fake teeth and a powdered wig.

I'm sicker than salmonella when I'm spitting this pig,

You make France seem menacing, British seem clean,

Now it’s time to make you pay for the American Dream,

I'm a military weapon made to serve the masses,

You're a dick, who tarred people to avoid some taxes,

You made your whole army freeze their asses off in the cold,

And eat their own shoes cause their food got old?

Your cabinet can't hold the amount of justice I serve,

And Ben's right, the turkey should've been the national bird,

Slaves couldn't be soldiers? "Freedom for all" my shield,

Should've let them, at least they had experience in the field.

Washington:

Your little team took out Thor's bitchy sister, so what?

I kicked the king's throne and made him go bankrupt!

Declared independence, fired shots, then a country was born,

Went up against the greatest military; still won the war!

You and menstrual Jolly Green Giant got bought out

By a cartoon company run by a shirtless mouse,

Yet you and your team dare to call me lowly?

Call your group the parliament, cause you guys can blow me.

Captain America:

I'll call myself the parliament for sure, cause I'll stomp your rights!

I prefer the British; they don't go down without a fight!

After this, you'll need more repairs than just dentures,

Tony Stark, show him why you shouldn't mess with the Avengers!

Iron Man:

I'm Iron Man, motherfucker, but call me man of steel,

Cause I crush bitches like Stalin, but I keep it real

I'm a super fly rich guy; see me up in the sky,

I kick ass, get girls, and still have time to rhyme,

My suit makes HAL 9000 look like a busted up Siri,

Kick you back over Delaware if you ever get near me,

This battle's like New York, so better start retreating,

Even General Howe couldn't give you this bad a beating.

George Washington:

How dare you? Try to pull in another factor? You're ridiculous!

Now you brought in the walking iPad? I'm sick of this!

I don't need help! Dealt with debt better than Obama can,

This act is intolerable, you scoundrel, now get off my free land!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!

Who won? George Washington Captain America & Iron Man