User blog:Bobdave/Epic Rap Battles - Modern vs Classic. Mark Zuckerberg vs Alexander Graham Bell

Hey, would you look at that, it's a new series that I promised I'd start! Yeah, this genius idea that's really original! I'm doing it! Hope you guys like it and give me some sexy suggestions because I'm fairly excited for this.

Now, I haven't written a non-Pokémon rap battle since Ash vs Darwin (which features the Pokémon protagonist, yes, but I mean RBotP and as I write this I realise I have a very limited repertoire of knowledge on any other niche), and Ash vs Darwin didn't require a whole lot of research for me to churn out because of my previous knowledge on both. This battle features two guys I knew jack shit about before writing and so the way I wrote for them feels a bit different to my usual style. Whether this is a good or a bad thing, you can decide. I hope it's a good thing! By the way, if you have suggestions, please drop them. I still haven't fully filled in all the Season's slots yet. I'm gonna try to get these out once a week till the sixth episode, which will be the Part 1 finale (which I have actually planned up till).

Anyway, onto the battle! I thought I'd kick off with a suggestion that's been popular for ERB for a really long time now. CEO of Facebook and philanthropist, Mark Zuckerberg versus Scottish-born inventor of the first telephone, Alexander Graham Bell.

Instrumental: Reckless by Hollywood Legend Productions

Mark Zuckerberg:
Time to show who really owns the world of wires and phones

Is it the prodigy of code or overgrown Tom Jones?

Making changes to humanity on a one-dollar salary

While you're battling for patents I'm dispatching cash to charity

You're a telephony, homie, you were doing pretty well

But drop Elisha's stolen features, your creation wouldn't sell

I'm a cutting-edge Nexus, you're a decade-old Dell!

The name Alexander Graham just doesn't ring a Bell!

Alexander Graham Bell:
Let's talk about outdated, Mark, you got one-upped by AoL

'Cause your program was more BASIC than your average clientele

I'll wipe your name and your green out of TIME Magazine

And Crush your handy little gadgets like Candy on a screen

I made what I did to permit people to connect

Not for wealths of hellish selfies, pokes, and virtual veg

<font color=#cdaa7d>You unfriended your roommates and made a group with Gates

<font color=#cdaa7d>I LLC through you, two-face, you're worth as much as you make!

<font color=#3B5998>Mark Zuckerberg:
<font color=#3B5998>Yes, the net worth of my network's impressive but I'm progressive!

<font color=#3B5998>This decrepit Eugenicist passed the deaf off as defective

<font color=#3B5998>I'm the Chief Executive you shouldn't fence with, get the message?

<font color=#3B5998>You just stole communication, I'm the one to reinvent it

<font color=#cdaa7d>Alexander Graham Bell:
<font color=#cdaa7d>Listen, shiny, real nice guys don't insult their peers' looks

<font color=#cdaa7d>You're a nerd who spent a year with his Face in a Book

<font color=#cdaa7d>And this gentile pretender's only in it for the tender

<font color=#cdaa7d>Got the cash from your bar mitzvah then dropped your faith altogether

<font color=#3B5998>Mark Zuckerberg:
<font color=#3B5998>Please, I'm iller than your siblings, I quote Virgil and the Iliad

<font color=#3B5998>Abilities in science and linguistics: got a myriad

<font color=#3B5998>I started my Odyssey age twenty in college

<font color=#3B5998>Now I'm top six rich with Kanye picking at my pockets

<font color=#3B5998>I own WhatsApp, Insta, got that Oculus on

<font color=#3B5998>'Cause I'm the Zucker, motherfucker, you're like MySpace Tom

<font color=#3B5998>Sweeping desktops and handhelds, I dominate devices

<font color=#3B5998>'Cause me and over a billion other people like this

<font color=#cdaa7d>Alexander Graham Bell:
<font color=#cdaa7d>Finished sharing your comments? You need a character limit

<font color=#cdaa7d>Take center stage like I did at any family visit

<font color=#cdaa7d>Think of a problem, Aleck could fix it, a magical whizz-kid

<font color=#cdaa7d>I could deliver iller lyrics just by tapping my fingers

<font color=#cdaa7d>You exploit users with ads as your wallet grows bigger

<font color=#cdaa7d>Relationship status: married to a gold digger

<font color=#cdaa7d>So why don't you post this up on your Facebook wall:

<font color=#cdaa7d>Tried to duel with true genius but couldn't answer the call

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES

(The view zooms out and logos appear all over a world map, with each one a shout of "EPIC RAP BATTLES")

MODERN VS CLASSIC

WHO WON? Mark Zuckerberg Alexander Graham Bell