User blog:The voice of the voiceless/Yeah. Banner vs. Jenner. F**k me

Hello and welcome to the first and only hopefully last series of voice reviews / rants about erb. Banner vs. Jenner. Uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Before I get into the battle itself, let's get this right out of the way. I fully support transsexuals and say to them to keep pushing through, because I understand how many bigots and nitwits you have to deal with. Hell, maybe some of them are people you thought would support you and love you throughout anything. If you are happy with yourself and you aren't hurting anyone, then don't stop what you're doing, because the main person you should focus on keeping happy in life, is you.

We good now? Transphobia claims neutralized? Right, moving to the battle.

Ok, good things.

Beat, solid. cool

Visuals, stellar, only improving each battle.

When it was just Bruce vs. Bruce, it was pretty good. Flow, disses, all on point.

"Is she 18? HULK SMASH!" Fucking amazing.

But.... this might be my least favorite battle. Ever. Yeah, some of season 1 is cringeworthy, but it's a "we're just starting out, wait until we get watsky to guest" cringe, this is a different kind of cringe entirely.

We can make HIV and anal sex jokes at Freddie Mercury's expense

We can call lady gaga a transvestite and say she has balls

We can make Martin Luther king Jr. Call someone a "Nigga."

But, we can't take someone as, provably bad of a person as Caitlin Jenner, and call her out for being a bad person. Like, she could've been born whichever way, male, female, transsexual, transvestite, Transylvania, whatever, but if she had matured to be as pretentious and unable to see other people's points of view as she is today, she would still be a bad person. Now, there's only two reasons I can think of as to why Peter and Lloyd would take this awful human being and not give her the lyrical pimp slapping she deserves.

1. They were worried about the backlash

If this is the case, two things. One, at what point between Jefferson vs. Douglass and today did you start giving one fuck about  the backlash? Oh, and lovely job avoiding it btw. Two, I get it. Controversial humor, which dissing Caitlin Jenner would inevitably be, is often synonymous with mean spirited bitter fucks who aren't funny. But you know who else controversial humor is synonymous with?

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Emmy and Tony award winners who have kept their show afloat for almost two decades now with absolutely masterful shock humor writing.

Mel Brooks, a comedy legend who is one of few people, and even fewer comedians to have won an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, and Tony

George Carlin and Richard Prior, the fucking Lincoln and Washington of the Mount Rushmore of American stand up comedy.

Yeah, don't see why any comedy writers would want to be comparable to those hacks.

2. They felt Caitlin Jenner shouldn't be dissed.

The more I think about it, the more I think this might have been why they didn't go as hard against Jenner as they should / could have. And if this is the case, it's even more upsetting. It's clear that Peter adores people like Jim Henson and Freddie Mercury, or that Lloyd has a lot of respect for people like Clint Eastwood or Alfred Hitchcock, but they didn't hesitate to make them look a bit bad to write a good battle. Hell, even Walt Disney, fucking Walt Disney, an icon of imagination and childhood, they were willing to make into a Hitler level dictator for a good battle and a good laugh. But they couldn't get a bit of dirt on Caitlin Jenner's Fingernails? So.. Anne Frank, Neil Armstrong, fucking Caitlin Jenner. These are the undissable 3 for ERB?

This battle could've been a beautiful Neapolitan ice cream swirl of solid rapping and visuals, thought provoking controversial humor, and a good message. Instead, we got a plain vanilla battle with a solid first half, and a back half that sinks quickly and doesn't stop until it hits the very bottom.

Peter, Lloyd, Dante, Mike, Zach, if any of you ever read this, I want to say you still have a subscriber and loyal fan in me. I still love the concept of the seires and general improvement from battle to battle, but I've seen how great you guys can be, and I know just how much better this battle could've been, and I'm just disappointed. Not mad, disappointed.

And Ms. Jenner, if you ever read this, fuck off. I have respect for you doing what you did on such a global scale, that took a lot of... well I guess I can't say balls, but it took a lot of courage. But, when I factor in your personality, how you represent the transgender community, one who so desperately needs a Martin Luther King Jr. but is stuck with an inefficient Malcolm X, and the fact that you were on fucking 2 E! Network reality shows, you have none of my respect.

TL;DR just read it you lazy bastard, even the summary will be a damn 5 paragraph essay.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go listen to queen and jerk off. At least I know don't stop me now won't go to shit after the first verse, and my dick won't fall off when I get an erection.