User blog:Joeaikman/Recapping in Rap - Chapter 9 - Maze Runner

What's up, buttmunches? after the storming success of my DCEU recap, I'm back with another addition of the tepidly popular series, Recapping in Rap. This time I'm tackling a fantasy dystopia that features young adults! No, it's not the Hunger Games. Or Divergent. Fuck you. It's Maze Runner! This is celebrating the recent release of the final edition in the film franchise, Maze Runner: The Death Cure, so you can be reminded of what the fuck is going on when you go to watch it. If you haven't already. Don't feel the need to. I am not being sponsored. I offered but the moneygrabbing bastards said no. Dickheads. Anyways, let's get going!

The Maze Runner
A bunch of amnesiac boys in this YA cash grab attraction

It has all of the usual tropes, but no love triangle or factions

Instead Thomas O’Brien! He’s told not to enter the Maze

He enters unfazed, and then his return sees him unscathed

Gally isn’t happy with all this Thomas special treatment

So launches his own coup, for slightly sketchy reasons

Attack by the Grievers sees Albi die for the second time

So Newt’s leading now, cos he’s apparently the next in line

Thomas and Minho find a way out, but Gally is against it

They run off with some guys anyway! They might regret it

WCKD is good! Turns out some disease is the crux of the plot

And Gally got out! How? It ain’t explained as Chuck gets shot!

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
Cold open on the boys now adopted in by Petyr Baelish

So he’s evil right? And yet Thomas is the only one to face it (haven’t any of them seen Game of Thrones?)

He teams up with Aris, and then leads them out to the scorch

Via more essential action pieces with him sliding under doors!

Zombies! It goes from Thrones to become more Walking Dead

Then throw in Breaking Bad! Cos Gus has regained half his head!

Winston dies! Who the fuck- Minho gets shocked more than once!

Then Thomas and Brenda have a chase scene! They’re going up!

Thomas throws up during the party! Meet the Right Arm in the hills!

Teresa turns traitor to set up a final fight at night for more thrills!

Minho taken! Doc shot! Baelish proves himself to be a bad dick!

Thomas rallies up the team! Wait, who the fuck is the black kid?!?