User blog:TKandMit/The Scout vs Paul Revere. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 2

Welcome back to another rap battle, guys! Before we begin, read these battles posted earlier today.

Alright, now that that's done, welcome to this battle! Boston scouts of war duke it out on their own home turf: The Scout, Team Fortress 2s first and fastest class with an annoying attitude, battles the granddaddy of the American Revolution, Paul Revere. This battle was suggested by Legion, and I fell in love with the idea immediately. Hope you guys enjoy!

Cast
Bo Burnham as The Scout

Jack Black as Paul Revere

Nice Peter as Military General (speaking cameo)

EpicLLOYD as The BLU Spy (cameo)

Josie Ahlquist as The Scout's Mom

Intro
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Versus!

Begin!

The Scout
BONK! It’s the bottom of the ninth, Scout steps up to the plate,

He just bought a couple keys, unlocked an asskicking from a crate,

Gifted it to the bitch of his city’s militia, they’re about to tea off;

You must’ve swallowed a bottle of Jarate, cause you piss me off.

I could smash your iron casted crap craft into scrap,

And that trash would still be worth more than your raps!

I’m running circles around ya! You’re running away!

Me and this Crit-a-Cola? You ain’t gonna keep me at bay!

I don’t need the rest of the RED Team, you’re iffy to mess with me;

Trying to please the gentry, essentially, I’m deflecting off of sentries! (Woo!)

There'll be a massacre if this massive Massachusetts rapper

Stands to battle the batterer slash Scatter by the map of Mann Manor!

While you’re playing in a tea party, I’m playing for survival!

I got rage against the machine! You’re pathetic for a rival!

I’m running to fight, you’re running for flight on your convoy!

I’m up to capture you, you bastard, I’m so on point.

Paul Revere
The bitches are coming, the bitches are coming!

The Minutemen keep this little kid keep on running!

All your tonic sipping and stunning, followed quickly by jumping

The tip of my musket will see you’ll ragequit by the button!

You're not skilled, freak, you dillweed, you're killstreak isn’t real, creep.

You’re literally ill, but the Medic’s pill's meek, so you’re still weak.

Face it, boy, you’ll run from me like you did all your brothers

You’ll revile from my raps, like those photos of your mother!

Spread the rumors: you got more tumors than a loaf of bread.

Even if I’m autobalanced, I’ll be gunning for you til you’re dead,

Respond to your respawn with a rifle, you shit starter,

Now put your back into it, and push on my cart!

The Scout
Do you even know who you’re talking to, horse mobile?

You got no appeal! Basically, I’m kinda a big deal.

Enjoy your Midnight Ride, I fight fights with a real knight!

You’ll lose worse than Penobscot! This colonel’s fried!

Grass grows: Bonk! I’ll put you to the dirt!

Birds fly: Not as fly as I am, but you’re the worst!

Sun shines: Brighten up, buddy, I’ve defeated pure evil!

And last but not least, brother, I hurt people! (WOO!)

Paul Revere
I'm a Son of Liberty! America went on to live for me!

You're a son of idiocy! Living Half-Lives for three!

Your chances with Miss Pauling is falling, it’s appalling

You’re sick like teleporting, with your chicken and booty calling!

I'm being ordered not to fire 'til I see the whites of your eyes!

(Open wide!) Even Pyro’s rainbows could make you cry!

Bag this faguette faster than your mom did to your stepdad,

Best act like the Spycrab and crawl away with your best hat!

Redcoats? Redsox? I treat the RED Team equally,

Badass of dentistry, knocking teeth out if you step to me!

Once upon a song, a Boston con came to be put into his place,

Whether or not Tavish blasts you with ashes, you’d still blow up in this race.

Who won?!

Who's next?



Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Who won? The Scout Paul Revere

Rorschach's Journal
November 21, 2015. My colleague Sherlock Holmes has informed me more about my target. This new information has brought me closer. I am now located in Boston, Massachusetts, where I have just witnessed two civilians battling each other once again. This “Joker” that is behind all of this must be quite sadistic. Must find by the end of this season. Hurm... New York?