User blog:Bobdave/Bob and Loyg's Too Swaggy to Handle Rap Battles of Too Swaggy to Handlery. Sora, Spiderman and Luke Skywalker vs Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter

Trust me, I don't fucking know. This guy suggested this somewhere and Flojo sent me a screenshot of it and now it is a battle so yep idk.

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Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EPIC RA-

Barry kicks the speaker

BOB AND LOYG'S TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLE RAP BATTLES OF TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLERY

SORA, SPIDERMAN AND LUKE SKYWALKER

VS

MICHAEL JORDAN, SUPERMAN AND HARRY POTTER

BEGIN

Sora, Spiderman and Luke Skywalker:
You're all bitches! Even the people on my team!

Now I'm gonna fap to Disney till I shoot a goo stream!

Kingdom Hearts III is coming out, guys! Hype hype hype!

Your mummy is a dyke dyke dyke!

Syke! She's just a whore!

And I've got her on the floor!

On her face, my balls I will lower!

Get out so I can lock the door!

Yeah, that's right! Sora needs some privacy with that dyke-

Whore!

I am going to hit you all until you are sore!

Cause I'm Spiiiiidey! My bedroom's tidy!

Crap, I gotta run... Be back on Friday!

Spiderman runs off

Peter Parker:
Hey was Spiderman here? Oh shit, I missed him again!

Is that a fog machine? I'm allergic!

Green Goblin:
Mist him again!

Sora, Peter Parker and Luke Skywalker:
My father may have been a terrible man!

But your raps are all terrible, man!

I'm so tough that I even got a Tatooine my butthole!

Now prepare yourself-

Because we're gonna make you suck pole!

Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter:
My balls are like the Death Star: big and black!

But your rhymes are like the prequels, they make people say "Aaack!"

And Sora, man! Just... gaaaaaah!

I slam dunk the mic! I am drunk! You like?

I'm the MVP in this three on three! Yikes!

I was gonna diss Spidey, but I dunno where he went!

So I'll spit a rap against Peter Parker instead!

You never got to Park your Peter inside Gwen Stacey!

And now she's dead! You didn't save her! Whoopsy-daisy!

I did tho, plugged it right in her 'giney

Just like I did to Ginny and Hermione!

Are Ron and I together? That's very gay!

Did someone say Sora? No? That's right, go away!

Basketball, S'es and Head scars to take a shit on your good day!

You're a twat! You're twat! And you're a twat! Hooray!

We'll get fisty, wa-hey! With Misty and May!

Misty and May
I choose you, penis soufflé!

Sora, Peter Parker and Luke Skywalker:
Hey, you got more lines! That's not fair!

What the fuck is with my hair? Sora, did you lose a dare?

Probably, but anyway, my uncle's dead! Mine too!

Wow! We're the perfect match! Love blossoms! How cute!

If we're going to be together, there's something I have to tell you

I'm actually- Spider-Man? Yeah, I already knew!

Really? You did? I'm not sure whether I should happy or surprised or-

Get a room, you two!

I suppose we do need to get back to dissing these clods!

No shit! Wait until these dickwads get a load of my dick wad!

Now Peter! Yup! Luke! Here! Sora! Wait, I'm Sora!

Where was I? Oh yeah! Let's beat them until they're sore! A a a a a a h h h h h h h !

Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter:
Wait just a moment... You're Spider-Man?

I mean I already knew that! That's right-er, man!

Nice cover up, Clark! Watch your mouth! Now they know!

Silly me! I'm sorry, Clark! They know half of my alter ego!

Clark Kent? The guy I wanked off on a park bench?

There goes my last name... That wank stank! Stench!

Two of The Musketeers and a dragon hairdresser:
Hey! Things are getting scary when two men and a camp lizard

Come harder than I did on Uncle Ben's corpse's gizzards!

Now it's time for me to get an unnecessarily long verse!

And then drive your bodies out of here in a hearse!

Along with Uncle Ben's! And also your uncle's "friends"!

And then I'll murder Sora's, bring them all to their uncle ends!

I'm gay!

Just thought I'd get that out there.

Now to resume with my verse!

Third Musketeer, please do me a favour and call the hearse!

And I'm still not done, oh no, not yet

I make the ladies wet!

The Third Musketeer:
(Wet! Wet! Wet! Wet!)

The Second Musketeer:
What are you doing? I told you to call the hearse!

Why do I put up with this?

The Third Musketeer:
(Wet! Wet! Wet! Wet!)

D'Artagnan:
Here comes D'Artagnan! Here to end abruptl-

Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter:
No!

I'll blast your ass out of here! Patronum Expecto!

Hermione Granger:
It's Expecto Patronum you stupid arseshit!

Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter:
Hermione, fuck you! I'll stick my wand in your armpit!

I wanna join in! Ooh ooh! Me three!

Should we let them? I suppose so! S q u e e !

Sora:
I'm so jealous! I wish I would get some already!

The Three Musketeers:
At least you're better than Luke! He and <font color=#FF0080>h<font color=#FF4C4C>i<font color=#FF0080>s <font color=#FF4C4C>s<font color=#FF0080>i<font color=#FF4C4C>s<font color=#FF0080>t<font color=#FF4C4C>e<font color=#FF0080>r n<font color=#FF0080>e<font color=#FF4C4C>a<font color=#FF0080>r<font color=#FF4C4C>l<font color=#FF0080>y <font color=#FF4C4C>w<font color=#FF0080>e<font color=#FF4C4C>n<font color=#FF0080>t <font color=#FF4C4C>s<font color=#FF0080>t<font color=#FF4C4C>e<font color=#FF0080>a<font color=#FF4C4C>d<font color=#FF0080>y<font color=#FF4C4C>!

Luke Skywalker:
I have no comeback! That's unfortunately true!

<font color=#FFC04C>Han Solo:
But it's all good now, I took your sister to screw!

Luke Skywalker:
That's very nice Han, but can I ask a question?

If I do you while you do her, am I still incesting?

Before Luke gets an answer, Han just walks away, leaving the Jedi in eternal curiosity

Superman:
Well that was rude!

<font color=#FF4C4C>The second and <font color=#FF0080>third Musketeers:
<font color=#FF4C4C>O<font color=#FF0080>u<font color=#FF4C4C>r <font color=#FF0080>d<font color=#FF4C4C>i<font color=#FF0080>c<font color=#FF4C4C>k<font color=#FF0080>s <font color=#FF4C4C>h<font color=#FF0080>a<font color=#FF4C4C>v<font color=#FF0080>e <font color=#FF4C4C>b<font color=#FF0080>e<font color=#FF4C4C>e<font color=#FF0080>n <font color=#FF4C4C>g<font color=#FF0080>l<font color=#FF4C4C>u<font color=#FF0080>e<font color=#FF4C4C>d<font color=#FF0080>!

Michael Jordan:
That's very hot, dude! If I may, that was lewd!

Michael Jordan is sent off the basketball court

Michael Jordan:
Nuts!

'Harry Potter gets a verse to himself, but he throws his invisibility cloak over the lyrics, so nobody can read them

Suddenly, Eren Jaeger appears, rapping in tune to the Attack on Titan opening sequence'

<font color=#4c3916>Eren Jaeger:
GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK PENIS FOR JAEGER!

AH! AH! AH! AHHHH! AH! SUCK DICK FOR JAEGER!

I'm a titan! You're a tight'un!

I'll enter you... and then watch you tighten!

Do you wanna see my neckpiece collection? It's a tie ton!

That's all I got

Wait!

Eren goes on his phone and Googles homophones for "ton"

<font color=#4c3916>Ah! I have Asian people in a beer cask, it's a Thai Tu-

Everyone else:
FUCK OFF!

Sora, Peter Parker and Luke Skywalker:
Go away, Eren! Yeah, leave at once!

And go back to ripping off my Spider-Man stunts!

<font color=#4c3916>Eren Jaeger:
It looks like I've been owned!

<font color=#81745B>Mikasa, in the middle of sex with Eren:
It looks like I'm being boned!

Sora
Everybody gets boned except me... Kairi? I can't take her...

<font color=#4c3916>Eren Jaeger:
Well, you can get some if you GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK PENIS FOR JAEGER

A white splatter lands on the camera and the battle ends

Who three? (get it cuz trios?) Sora, Spiderman and Luke Skywalker Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter Two Musketeers and a Dragon Hairdresser ft. The Third Musketeer and D'Artagnan Hermione Granger Han Solo Eren Jaegar Mikasa Ackerman Everyone is a winner :)))) GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK PENIS FOR JAEGER

GET ON YOUR KNEES AND SUCK PENIS FOR JAEGER