User blog:Mr. Swell Guy/I fixed Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer

Gamer time

J. Robert Oppenheimer vs Thanos had a massive issue tonally where one half was dramatic and one half was a shitpost

I will fix

Epic rap battles of history or something

Obscure guy with little material

Vs

Dated purple meme man

Begin

Thanos:

I am inevitable, inexorable, immeasurable, I have good eyesight

I’ll get the win here like a victory royale in Fortnite

I am Thanos, and I crush tracks with my ass crack; it’s da bomb

You’re a pencil-pushing boomer with six missed called from his mom

It seems you started off a chemist, and you like to listen to The Prodigy

But you’re only a Firestarter with your rhymes periodically

Man, I taught my Cyndaquil ember, but it’s not very effective against water

And now I’m telling Oppenheimer that you cannot date my daughter

Got a fist of gold when I’m wrapping presents for my friends in Manhattan

Stick your tiny nuclear dick back into your- fuck I just said Manhattan

Hadron smashing all your atoms, I could have made a joke about atoms

But all of my clever ideas are gone, reduced to atoms

It’s impossible to top me Oppy, you’re a fucking beta cuck

If you think you’re gonna get laid, well, you’re out of luck

Because I fucked your fucking wife! And then I fucked her again!

Then I got her fucking pregnant! And then I fucked her again!

Oppenheimer:

Listening to you took everything I had left

Like come on Lloyd is this Thanos impression your best?

You need an Iron Man, for that wrinkly ass skin

I mean look at his chin, get this dude some lotion

Here we go now

Where’s Rhythm Heaven? I thought you had the Time Stone

Your rhymes are weak, they must be made of limestone

You might be something in the MCU

but you don’t rap very good do you?

Your dialogue’s got too many breaks in the syllables

When my wife won’t cook then I have to get physical

All the ladies find me irresistible

But my diseases are sexually transmittable

You were excited for Christmas, but it wasn’t very merry

Then your own wife forgot your 10th anniversary

Meanwhile I’ve mastered the Adam, even more than Eve

And the bible clearly says that it’s not Adam and Steve!

I’m a peaceful man, but I’ll fuck you up

You had an evil plan, Thanos, but you fucked it up! Fire Emblem must make you enraged, when Sakurai won’t give you Travis

Because on the Smash Bros roster... there is no balance

Thanos:

You say you’re good at rapping but you seem awfully white

But I’ll win this battle in round two like Fortnite

I’m the hot bottom topper, the little twink dommer

And now I’m dropping bombs like my name was Obama

You ain’t got no hamster, your star sign must be Cancer

I will lowkey choke you out like my name was DADDY

Oppenheimer:

You wanna talk about death? National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

I’m the Destroyer of Worlds, on her 16th birthday, it’s all about Pearl!

We’re in the Endgame now, Twinky Winky

I’ll finish this like Antman! Uh oh! Stinkyyyyyyy!

Anyone who believes that Thanos did nothing wrong crap

Has obviously nuzzled your bulgy lap! Rebecca Snap!

I’m mentally ill

I stole lines from some people, I’d add links but idk how

So it was Amy, Rae, Abon and Anza

I might have missed someone and if I did I’m sorry I’m just a lowly gamer

Fuck me am I right