Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton



Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton is the sixty-fifth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the seventh episode of Season 5. It features American business magnate and Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, rapping against former U.S. Secretary of State and Democratic presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, along with a surprise entry from the 16th President of the United States and previous ERB participant, Abe Lincoln. It was released on October 26th, 2016.

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Donald Trump

Kimmy Gatewood as Hillary Clinton

Nice Peter as Abe Lincoln

Josh Best as a Secret Service agent (cameo)

Lyrics
[Note: Hillary Clinton is in dark red, Donald Trump is in light orange , Abe Lincoln is in dark gray , the Secret Service agent is in brown , and the bald eagle is in regular text.]

Hillary Clinton:
I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant!

Have been since I met  MLK in person!

I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain!

You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!

I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling!

You got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!

You been going bankrupt since the 90s! If I was in Iran, you couldn't find me!

You don't care about the job, Trump! You just think the desk is shiny!

I said that I respect your children, but that wasn't quite right, yo!

Looking like some extras from American Psycho!

First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics, I got 'em!

You fire celebrities on The Apprentice! Mutha fucka, I fire bin Laden! (Crack!)

How do I say this? You're racist!

Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!

So you use your fingers to touch chicks!

She's only 12 years old. "That's enough, shit!"

But she's married, sir. "Just gotta get pushy."

That's your daughter. "Well, grab her by the pussy!"

(Huaggh!) That's assault, brotha!

Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka!

You don't know shit about steaks, yucka!

But the ones on the 8th are great, mutha fucka!

Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote!

Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!

So go ahead, Donald! Let me see you flow!

I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!

Donald Trump:
Let me just say I respect all females,

But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails.

Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS?

That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness.

(Believe me.) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby!

He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!

(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary. I sense it,

But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it!

The numbers are in, and I'm right on your tail!

You don't have the stamina, baby; you're frail!

This will be just like '08 when you fail,

But Trump will appoint you to jail!

How do I say this? You're a 2,

And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew !

What do the American people gotta yankee doodle do

To get it through your fat face that they're just not that into you?

They want a strong, male leader who can stand up to China.

(China, China, China!) Not a crooked little wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina!

I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos:

More police  and less Latinos!

While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks,

I'll create jobs tearing down mosques!

Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall!

Dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!

I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large!

I'll tell Congress, "You're fired," and put Charles in charge!

'Cause this whole system's rigged, and we all know the riggers!

For the last eight years, this country's been run by— (CAW!)

Abe Lincoln:
Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah?!

I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized— (CAW!)

I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ!

You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!

I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit!

If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!

(Ha!) I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny?

Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!

And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door!

Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!

Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel!

That's of the people, by the people, for the people! EAGLE!!! (CAW!)

==Scrapped lyrics == [Note: Hillary Clinton is in  dark red, Donald Trump is in  light orange , Bernie Sanders is in  gray , and Ronald Reagan is in brown .]

Hillary Clinton:
Thank you for choosing me as your nominee,

I thought this would be harder, honestly.

But here we are! One step away

From a woman taking the global stage.

So America now has two options:

One who we know can get the job done

But caution! One's an orange hot head conman trying to buy our problems!

This is my domain! It's eminent!

You won the base of the confederate's electorate!

The way you've acted with arrogance proves your temper meant you don't have the temperament!

America needs some feminine leading, from a mother, a wife's kind of healing.

The most qualified candidate in history will break your face like a glass ceiling!

Donald Trump:
Our country's in crisis

And the Democrats nominate the founder of ISIS?

There's no time to be nice anymore;

Terrorists are knocking right on our doors!

Crooked Hillary might be above the law, but she won't be above my border!

I'm the enforcer; Donald J. Trump is bringing a new world order!

If it's too PC to diss the Queen of the left wing Media Elites

Then Trump will be her personal server—one that she can't delete by the way, believe me!

A vote for me in the end is a promise my slogan will start making sense.

Hillary for the Pillory! Lock her up to Make America Great Again!

Hillary Clinton:
America is already great! Don't let a privileged rich man tell you it ain't!

Your vision of the good 'ol days is when hard working citizens used to be slaved in chains!

You're too vague! Your campaign is one short statement based on shameless racist hatred.

Who knew such a small man could be such a bigot ignoramus?

We got our hope and change but now the term has ended *cough*

So we need a vessel to secure our path of progression *cough*

But this liar *cough* is feeding these racist meme henchmen

What kind of decent businessman *sips water* has his own team against him?

But what difference does it make?

If your Twitter account becomes the head of state

You'd go bankrupt in the first hundred days!

With that judgment, you'll fumble our country away!

If those tiny fingers are on the button, you'll ignore that this world is unaffordable.

You say that I'm Satan? I'll send you to hell in a hand basket of your deplorables!

What's next, rape? You want to "Make America Hate"!

If there's anything that you raised right it's the stakes on November 8!

This November, remember, we can't put his tiny finger on the button

Bernie Sanders:
Where is my fair share of raps that I earned?

If Bernie got a turn, you would all Feel the Bern!

Donald Trump:
The system is rigged! Ladies and gentlemen! Just look at this poor communist…

Bernie Sanders:
Um…I'm a Democratic Socialist…

Donald Trump:
You were hopeless, it was obvious!

So for every vote that didn't count,

You can't complain if you help them out.

If I lose this race, that's it!

Both Mexico and Hillary are going to pay for it!

You're disqualified to be President 'cause you're lying more than Ted ever did!

If you take away the vagina, you wouldn't last one day as a candidate!

This race is getting tighter, which is terrific, it's great, who would have known?

Since your husband loves them women when they're going down the polls!

This hack will cough our country away;

The first lady to croak the first day!

While I'm running on both my fan base my brand name,

This crippled witch will be walking with Kaine!

I'm no conspiracy theorist, but there might be some tyranny near us…

I'm not saying Hillary's a terrorist, but she's probably a terrorist.

So there is only one strong man, only one wall plan,

Only one Trump to single handedly bring jobs back!

An American, I'm proud to be! A politician, you have to be!

While Americans were stranded and counting on you, you were sound asleep, just counting sheep!

The United States is the master race!

When these illegals pack and get shipped away!

THERE'LL BE SO MUCH WINNING!

YOU'LL GET BORDER AND BORDER OF WINNING!

More police folks, and less Latinos!

I'm the best candidate God  ever created

In the Bible, the Savior beats Satan. I've read it!

It says: In 2016, Trump's the reincarnation. I'm just saying!

Little Red LYING hood and her basket of DEPORTABLES

Ronald Reagan:
Mr. Trump, tear down this wall!

Let me give you an actual lesson in capitalism

You compassionate ridden nationalist chicken

On your hat, it is written what I had envisioned!

You turned the G.O.P. into a Grandad's Old Party!

What resembles a republic in this Republican?

You're no champion of women's rights when your foundation is made for and paid for

By nations that suppress gays and women just for the sake of hatred!

And you silence the ones who dissent

There's a list of women who still lament

From being trapped in your husband's bed

And you couldn't care less!

You'll use executive orders to have our amendments killed

Since you're not for free speech when you gotta pay the Bill!

So, to make my choice, I'll flip a coin, and no matter if tails or heads

Two of the wealthiest Americans still won't make any cents!

General

 * The paper Hillary Clinton holds in the line, "I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!", is actually a transcript of her own verse.
 * Donald Trump currently has the longest single verse in ERB history, with twenty-eight lines.
 * He also has the longest verse time-wise, at one minute and 35 seconds.
 * This is the second battle to only have three verses, after Hitler vs Vader 3.
 * A preview of Stevie Wonder can be seen during the Behind the Scenes end slate of the outro, as well as a preview of Charles Darwin during the "T-shirt & poster!!!" end slate.
 * One of the writers for this battle was Mat4yo, who is one of the crew members for a fanmade ERB tribute series called Epic Rap Battle Parodies.
 * This video is currently the most viewed ERB video on the first day of release, with the YouTube statistics putting the view count as 5.3 million views.
 * It also has the most amount of dislikes in ERB's history with 76k, beating Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner. However, the latter still has a larger dislike to like ratio.
 * Mat4yo, one of the writers, stated that the battle was originally going to have Bernie Sanders as a speaking cameo and Ronald Reagan come in before Abe Lincoln, but it was eventually scrapped.
 * Due to Mat4yo's original draft, this battle has the most scrapped lyrics to date.
 * This is the sixth battle overall in which both rappers are currently living.

Production

 * This battle was released on Clinton's 69th birthday.
 * The alternate beat for Mat4yo's scrapped writing could be heard in the Behind the Scenes video.

Continuity

 * This is the third battle to be a sequel to a previous battle, since this one is a sequel to Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney, after Hitler vs Vader 2 and Hitler vs Vader 3.
 * This is the second battle to not include a "Begin" transition. Instead, the "Begin" appears on the screens behind Trump and Clinton.
 * This is the first time that a title rapper reappears as a title rapper against a different opponent, since Trump previously battled Ebenezer Scrooge in Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge.
 * Not including the leaked footage of Clinton rapping against King Henry VIII, Trump is the third character to be portrayed by a different actor in a later battle, after George Washington and Boba Fett.
 * This is the first time a rapper has appeared in their opponent's title card.
 * This is a reference to the second presidential debate, in which Trump was frequently in the shot behind Clinton.
 * This is the third battle featuring two returning title rappers.
 * It is the first that isn't a direct sequel.

Errors

 * Throughout the battle, the makeup applied to EpicLLOYD to achieve Trump's tan rubs off on the collar of his shirt.
 * Trump starts his verse by buttoning his jacket, but he raps the rest of the verse with it unbuttoned.
 * During the line, "This will be just like '08 when you fail," the left corner of Trump's shirt was keyed out with the green screen.
 * During the outro, TheSeriousShow's suggestion appears twice.