User blog:Alexschmidt711/Rap Battle Review 7 - Wario vs. Psy by JakeManlan64

(Original video) OK. After reviewing some historical-themed battles, let’s review an oft-requested (I think) and mocked battle with no historical themes at all: Wario vs Psy. From this matchup you know this is going to be interesting; it’s got to be one of the most nonsensical matchups I’ve ever seen, and given all the matchups people have made that’s saying a lot. I admittedly somewhat like the idea of picking matchups at random, given that it can give characters who’d be hard to pick out opponents for a chance and can result in amusing contrasts (I kind of like Genghis Khan vs The Easter Bunny), but this is just a weird choice all around. Gangnam Style was already 2 years old by the time this battle came out, so Psy isn’t even a topical choice. Let’s get into it and see just how bad this can get.

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES ''(OK. There’s already so much wrong here and we haven’t even seen the rappers. First off, the tag at the top of the video, while not the worst, is a pretty bad sign. I don’t think I’ve seen any other battles with that that I can remember, so that puts this at a pretty low bar. Second, why is the title screen moving all around? It looks like it’s on a sheet of paper! If you have the ability to edit together video clips, you should have the ability to add static images or something of the sort. Even accepting that the logo is just a sheet of paper, that doesn’t excuse the person moving it all around for no reason. Third, if this series really is called “Epic Rap Battles of Video Games,” why is Psy, who is a real person, included? I guess he might’ve been in Just Dance, but that shouldn’t count. Fourth, the beat is really muted, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this was recorded off of a speaker in the background. Fifth, the announcer is kind of hard to understand. It seems like he has a heavy accent, so it’s not all his fault, but it’s still a valid critique. In the channel description, he says he’s “portuneez,” which presumably means Portuguese, so yeah, that’s why. Someone at Galo Frito pulled off a pretty good Trump impression though, so it’s not like it’s impossible. There’s also this echoey-ness which lasts throughout the whole battle, making it even harder to understand!)'' WARIO

(At least they sort of tried with the costume here, but it’s still pretty bad. He’s wearing yellow and has a painted-on mustache, and also has a yellow baseball cap that’s hard to see, but that’s pretty much it. And this background has zero effort put into it. It’s a picture of a golden pixelated wall spinning around. Was a Wario-related background really that hard to find? And the green screen he’s using is way too small, given that the outline is clearly visible and Wario’s head is cut off.) VS PSY

(This costume isn’t that bad, at least compared to the Wario one. However, the video quality is super fuzzy on Psy. And what’s with those weird clouds in the background? They couldn’t even get those right, seeing as they fade away too quickly.) BEGIM

''(Begim? Really? (I don’t think the announcer says the M, though. It’s just the text on screen.) At this point, I’m starting to wonder if this is a joke battle. Ehh, it still looks like an especially funny joke, so I’ll continue)'' Wario:

this is the best, you little rat

(What’s the best? Explain yourself! And Psy calling Wario the rat would’ve made more sense. Also, how’d they make Wario’s eyes look like that? If it’s on purpose, it’s honestly pretty impressive for this production quality, but it looks kind of creepy especially because Wario doesn’t even have yellow eyes in the game. Looking at it some more, it seems that somehow his eyes were keyed out, which I didn’t even know was really possible. The green screen stink lines are also really obvious. JakeManlan64 - taking quality to a new low every day. At least the Wario voice isn’t totally off.)  do your oppa gangnam style, makes everyone fat

(That’s not correct in any way, grammatically or otherwise. How does Gangnam Style make people fat? And you’re Wario, so why would that be a bad thing? And now his arms are somehow keying out. Do you even know what quality is?) the wario brothers, are going to beat you

(Ah, an even more generic line. And as far as I know, Waluigi is never even stated to be Wario’s brother. They could be lovers for all we know. And yeah, that flow on “are going to beat you” was terrible.) you suck too much, youre considered new?

(“Con-cider-d”? Really? It’s just an accent, but it’s still pretty funny. And sucking doesn’t make something less new. You could’ve used pretty much anything else there - cool, hip, great, whatever - and it could’ve worked, but no, you said “new.” And “you’re” has no apostrophe, though at least it’s the correct form. And I think I realized why the eyes and arms are being keyed out - he must be filming on a white background and using that to key against. He has white gloves on his arms, so that’s why those are keying out. I’ve got the feeling that JakeManlan64 doesn’t really understand how green-screens work. Just leaving it as is without trying to key out the background would’ve looked better.) you are stupid and you live on YouTube

(Ahh, so your Caps Lock key isn’t actually broken. That’s nice to know, you' just don;t know how to write subtitles then. And it’s nice that you took the effort to put the words “YouTube” somewhere else for no reason. It would’ve been nice if that effort had gone into ANYWHERE ELSE in the video. And Psy doesn’t actually live on YouTube, you know. You might think Wario knows that, but given the quality we’ve seen so far I’m not so sure.) no matter what video you do, i wont sub

(The same reaction I had to this channel exactly. And “soob?” Really? Could be your accent, or just a really forced rhyme for “YouTube.” Neither is really any good.)

i will take care of a b**ch like PSY

(So after capitalizing nothing but YouTube, you capitalize PSY’s name? Hmm, maybe you’re learning? (Probably not though.) And the way he said Psy made it sound like it’s the name of a fighting move he learned. PSSYYYYYY!)  you said youre a gentleman thats literaly a lie

''(Honestly, this is the only reference so far that seems somewhat clever, even if “literally” (or “literaly” was only thrown in to pad out the line. This is surprisingly the only misspelling not counting the missing apostrophes in the subtitles so far, not counting “begim.” Which is honestly kind of weird considering that even ERB has spelling errors sometimes.) '' Psy:

You better shut up, you little fat crap

(Geez, Psy’s kind of mean! And even though his rapping sounds more coherent than Wario’s, the flow still sucks. And they didn’t even try to key out Psy’s background, except for that weird line. As expected, it looks better, but I can’t help but think that the only reason it’s not keyed out is that even JakeManlan64 realized how bad it would look if the white on Psy’s shirt got keyed out. However, the city background just feels even more out of place. At least switching to that one font B-Lo used sometimes made the lack of capitalization look better.) Your best attack, you considre, is the slap.

(Not only does Psy also not know who to pronounce “consider,” but they can't even spell it or use it in a sentence that well! And since when was a slap Wario’s best attack? I’m pretty sure that in all of his games he’s had better attacks than that! I actually do kind of like the text turning red and big here, as “is the slap” does get emphasized.) You should know that searching treasures is a waste of time

(Finally, actual proof that the creators of this battle knew something about Wario! Which just makes the previous line more puzzling. This line could be OK if Psy explains why it’s a waste of time, but I don’t know if that will happen. The subtitles also don’t match up with the audio, which seems to say “You should’ve known.”) Youre failing at your capacity to rhyme

(This would be an OK if terribly generic line if it didn’t leave the previous line without a payoff. But Psy seems to think it deserved a micdrop, judging by the footage.)  I bet you cant dance Gangnam Style

(I don’t know if you can either, you haven’t done it all video. And even though this is an actual diss again, none of the dances in Gangnam Style really seem too hard. Is Wario supposed to be too fat to do it?) I live on the real world, you live on a file

(This is probably the best diss so far, even if it’s not very sophisticated. There’s also a tiny bit of body acting here. However, I don’t think that changing the font to a more computer-y one was necessary here. Again, you’re putting your effort in the wrong place! And “on” the real world? I can’t tell if this is just a subtitle mistake or if it’s what Psy actually says, but it’s not great.) I’ll beat you as possible faster than your fake brother

(Not beat you “as soon as possible,” “as possible.” Honestly, the grammar hasn’t been the worst, but did you not notice that this sounded wrong when you said it out loud? And also, the “faster than your fake brother” thing is confusing. Does that mean Psy beat Waluigi before and plans to beat Wario even faster?  Does this mean that Waluigi beat Wario before? Does it mean Waluigi is fast in general and Psy is comparing himself to him? (If so, why does he diss Waluigi too?) Given that none of these options (except maybe the last one) reference anything to do with Waluigi, why’d he bring him up at all? Also, I don’t quite get why you’re doing these gestures at this particular moment.) Psy is fabulous that there are no any other

(Well, those were certainly words. They aren’t a good rap line, they aren’t even a coherent sentence, those are just words!) Wario:



(This picture would make a great meme out of context. Feel free to spread it wherever you want.) when do you make a song?

(The audio might be saying “why do you make a song,” which makes more sense, but either way the subtitles are wrong somehow.) my games are so good, and find treasures is long

(Again, what happened to the grammar? It wasn’t this bad in the first part of the battle. Was this battle so stupid that they forgot English as they were making it?)  youre just mad, cause youre unknown

(Really? Is having what was then the most-viewed video on YouTube considered “unknown” now? Admittedly not many people know of Pay outside of this, but this feels like the pot calling the kettle black, except the kettle was actually white all along. Don't try to read anything racist into that please.) live with kim jong, he will take your head bone

(Calling it the "head bone" is somewhat clever, but how is this line relevant other than the fact that Psy is from South Korea and Kim Jong-un (who should probably be called Jong-un instead) is from North Korea? Is this a reference to that Animeme rap battle between them? Saying that Kim Jong-un would decapitate you if you lived with him just doesn't make sense as an insult for Psy.) im amazed from you be rapping

(But I'm not amazed by you be grammar.) i thaw you were going to sing korean, yeah, singing

("Thaw" should be "thought," since that's what is actually said. I'm guessing that JakeManlan64 had never seen the word spelled out before. And rhyming rapping with singing? Phonetically, most of the rhymes have been solid so far, but this one just drops the ball. Also, in the past two lines, Wario just stated he was amazed that Psy is rapping instead of singing. Did he just accidentally give his opponent a complement there?) i will make you done

(If you could make this rap battle done, that would be great.) you better dont get luck with the wario number one

(At first, I thought that this finishing line was completely nonsensical. However, I realized that he actually says "You better don't f**k with the Wario." The line actually makes a little bit of sense now, even if it's still grammatically incorrect. But why are the subtitles different? Did they need to be censored but not the rapping itself?) Psy: Seriously, youre the number one? Hahahah?

(Seriously, you randomly do those effects with the text? This is at least directly responding to Wario, even if it's filler.)  Youre so stupid that 1 life youre done

(Ummm, as a human in the real world, I’m pretty sure you also have one life, Psy. What’s with all the hypocritical disses in this battle? From my research, it appears that in most of Wario’s games, he has a health bar, so maybe that counts as him having one life, but I fail to see what that has to do with Wario being stupid. At least I kind of like the body acting.) Will you understand? How much your less paid

(Poor grammar aside, at least this diss makes sense. They’re both probably pretty rich, but I don’t think we can really compare fictional riches to real riches.) I have so many girlfriend, you didn’t even get laid

(As far as I know, Wario is indeed short on the girlfriends department (unless maybe Waluigi is his boyfriend), so that’s accurate, but Psy had been seemingly married for eight years at the time this battle was released so that should probably be in past tense. At least the diss made sense and isn’t an embarrassing steal-your-girl line.) I will take care of you, you will be dead

(Geez, Psy, when’d you get so murderous? Is he going to dance Wario to death? And man, the keying on the curtains looks bad. I can see why they didn’t try for the wide shots. At least we get to see the two rappers appear side-by-side, so that proves JakeManlan64 was at least somewhat competent at editing.) Youre a real prick Wario, you will have your end

(We got it the first time, Psy: you want Wario dead for some reason. Yeah, he’s right about Wario being a jerk, but that’s not reason for him to die! Or is Psy just saying that fate will take care of Wario? I also like the way Psy says “have your end.” And I guess they’re keeping the keyed-out curtains for the rest of the video. Honestly, I bet that it was a mistake that they weren’t keyed out previously. It’s not a good sign that something that wasn’t terrible about your video was only that way by mistake!) I will make you a dead body soon, I’m not kidding

(OK, so he has to say it again? I ragged on Mike & Sulley vs. Rocket and Groot for having so many “I’ll kill you” lines, but at least those had creative wordplay. This doesn’t even have any subtlety, and is just redundant with how each line barely adds anything new. And he has to clarify he’s not kidding, in case he wasn’t clear with the first two lines.) Youre so fat, that in the ice you cant be slipping

(Whaaat? What does being fat have to do with how much you slip on the ice? That’s not how friction works! (Please tell me if this is a reference to a game that I don’t get.) And the audio seems to say “beneath the ice” which makes less sense. At least there’s a little bit of body acting from Psy.) Announcer: Who won Whos next

You decide (What? That’s the end of the battle? That’s such a weak line to end on! Also, there’s almost 2 whole minutes of credits at the end! ERB at least had new footage to show off in the end slate for Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee. At least seeing this weird washed-out footage at the end reminds me that the visuals could’ve been even worse.) Conclusion So that was Wario vs. Psy, and this is definitely one of the worst fan-made rap battles put up on YouTube. There are barely any redeeming factors at all: the lyrics and matchup make little sense, the rapping isn’t good, the beat isn’t that catchy, and the audio and visuals are both really bad. The only positives I have is that the costumes aren’t that bad for what was presumably made at home (similar to Epic Fictional Rap Battles), and that the lyrics, while nonsensical, aren’t too mean-spirited. Also, most of the lines rhymed, and there was a beat: while those might seem essential, I’ve seen rap battles without those. This definitely goes at the bottom of the pack of the battles I've reviewed, though it is one of those fan-made rap battles with some “so bad it’s good” elements.