User blog:Bobdave/Wiki Christmas - Day 1: The Grinch vs Jack Frost. Joe and Jude

Late as fuck. Let's get cracking.

We're kicking off Wiki Christmas with a sexy-ass battle from the guys who brought you Soundcloud covers and a YouTube channel no one watches. It's the green guy who hated Christmas then didn't hate Christmas - The Grinch, versus the embodiment of why you wear mittens - Jack Frost! It's about to get low in temperature!

MAJOR NOTE: This battle has also got a Soundcloud cover counterpart so yippie hat doodle! Listen to it by clicking this link or the iTunes cover.



Announcer:
EPIC WIKI CHRISTMAS RAP BATTLES!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Jack Frost:
Throw down with Frost? You best bow down and hail

If your rhymes are as good as the ones from your tale

I hope this green Ebenezer can understand

That you don't step in my goddamn Wonderland

You're a miserly mouldy mole rat who needs to chill

And harbours too much ill will for the citizens of Whoville

But the strength of ten Grinches plus two is useless

When you're just about as eloquent as Dr Seuss is

The Grinch:
The Grinch stealing victory will work better than the previous

I'm the meanest miser at Christmas, you're Elsa with Bieber fever it's

Quite heinous that your mischievous acts match to mine so devious

Because when I'm quitting spitting it will be Jack who turns the greenest

Face my essence while I sleigh all your nymphs, I'm that aggressive

Fetch your Guardians to Rise against you Frozen in pre-pubescence

What should I wear to spread my manic panic, wait it seems

That all Jack can achieve is causing havoc on my windscreen

Jack Frost:
You better hope your flow grows three sizes next appearance

As the authority on ice, those weren't exactly cold lyrics

Face it, your reputation as a Mean One's disgraceful

I'll freeze Max and give Martha May a glacial facial!

I got chilling aura and a heart far colder than the fuhrer

To snowstorm Ace Ventura

You're unfit to battle, your stunts don't work one bit

You should run, or there'll be an avalanche on Mount Crumpit

The Grinch:
NOISE NOISE NOISE, is all I hear when your mouth opens

I run winter year round, about to melt Frosty the Snowman

I'm the Secret Santa criminal, will guide you to the slaughter

This losers frigid to the touch, can't even fetch a glass of water

Cindy Lou, who is this, trying to break the ice with the Grinch

It'll be a sinch to leave your ass buttered in a Crumpit ditch

Horton heard this Who talking smack, with my ice I will smite

And leave you forever beaten, with perpetual frostbite

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

*the logo emerges from a Christmas present box*

EPIC WIKI CHRISTMAS RAP BATTLES!

*The Grinch swings by and steals the logo*



Who won? The Grinch Jack Frost