User blog comment:Bobdave/My Housemates - For the Poetry Slam/@comment-13974523-20151023004850

Very straightforward, got what it wanted to say out and out.

1) Repetition done right.

2) The conclusion wrapped it up well but the segue to it was somewhat awkward.

3) This somewhat confused me by being narration from something that wasn't your point of view and yet first person, as a contrast to the past few poems I've read. I don't think that should count against you for the contrast, but the fact itself still stands.

4) The title is kek.

I'll sum up with 8/10. I understand the rough circumstances under which this was written, but polishing wouldn't have been the worse option. Still something great by itself, though, and the message is clear-cut and strong.