User blog:TCalderon/Finn & Jake vs Banjo & Kazooie - Rap Battle

So, funny story about this battle. I actually had this planned out WAY earlier on, like, way before I even thought of Frieza vs Palpatine (that is to say before Weeb Shit vs Anything was even a thing). But, due to lack of confidence in myself to write these things, I decided to leave it for a while.

Then recently, Finn, Jake, and Princess Bubblegum were all announced to be surprise guest-stars to Brawlhalla, a platform-fighting game akin to Smash Bros. That was a pretty obscure thing to make a celebratory rap battle about, admittedly, but it did get the creative juices going.

But then E3 2019 happened, and Banjo-Kazooie were announced as DLC for Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Now is the time to push this battle forward. So.

Finn and Jake, the heroes of Ooo vs Banjo and Kazooie, the bear and bird duo of Rareware! These four battle it out to see which wacky adventuring duo is truly superior!

Beat: https://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=12618473&q=hi&newref=1

RAP BATTLE!

FINN & JAKE!

VS

BANJO & KAZOOIE!

BEGIN!

Finn & Jake:

What time is it?! It’s time to wash these losers off the shore!

Beat ‘em so bad, they’ll end up back on N64!

'''Like Microsoft, we’ll kill ya! Got harsher rhymes than Gruntilda!'''

'''How can these Rare rappers top us? They’re lesser than a gorilla! '''

'''We made animation what it is today! I think it’s best that you listened,'''

We got props from Deadpool and even The Simpsons!

You’ve been disgraced by Yooka-Laylee, so now nobody cares!

We’ll outrap you even harder than the Party Bears!

Banjo &  Kazooie:

'''Guh-ha! Hey, Kazooie, we got a couple of Clankers here,'''

Whose show hasn’t been relevant in over five years!

'''Well then what are we waiting for? Let’s go Mighty Jinjo on their ass!'''

Show them how we do it when we spit our own Rat-a-Tap Raps!

Pioneering modern cartoons? More like you pioneered a plague

We paved the way for Odysseys! You inspired Sanjay and Craig!

'''Ask Mario! When it comes to collect-a-thons, we rule!'''

We’ll leave you laying flat on the ground like King K. Rool!

Finn:

Without your birdie buddy, Yogi here would be useless!

I suggest you be the second bear to follow in MY footsteps!

I’m a highflying adventurer with a knack for kicking booty!

By the time I’m done, you’ll be more forgotten than your sister, Tooty!

Banjo:

With your warped mental state, I’d say you’ve got too many buttons, son!

Leave you crying like “Marcy, Why Did You Eat my Bubblegum?!”

You’re no longer hot; your channel prefers TTG over your ass!

They left you behind even harder than your own dad!

Jake:

'''Being left behind? I’d say you’ve no place to talk, you dolt!'''

Keep up with that attitude, and we will screw your Nuts & Bolts!

Bake you posers on a grill and stuff you inside a pancake!

'''Getting slammed by your buddy? Guess you’ll need to be replaced!'''

Kazooie:

'''You finished yet, furry Luffy? Cause that verse was a bore!'''

More bloated gibberish coming from this dude than Lady Rainicorn!

You’re a deadbeat father who’s raising a disappointment!

With so many catchphrases it makes Bottles look less annoying!

Finn &  Jake:

Better head back to your hut, before I leave you losers cut!

So bland and without character, I’d think that you were Duck Hunt!

We took on the Lich, while your greatest foe was a witch!

A battle that one-sided will be won without a hitch!

The chance of your sequel being released is one in a million!

Shatter that hope into pieces like it was the Enchiridion!

We’ve beaten these bozos harder than Diddy Kong in a race!

We’ll chop you up and mount you like it’s Conker’s Bad Fur Day!

Banjo &  Kazooie:

You two are shitty hippies, while we’re gettin Jiggy-wiggy!

As far as CN duos go, I much prefer Mordecai and Rigby!

Your show going long as it did just proves why we can’t have nice things!

How can you call yourselves heroes when you beat up that poor Ice King?!

We’re hitting all these notes, and on this track we take command!

The boy seems confused, though. guessing he could use a hand!

'''Burned you harder than Flame Princess! This battle was a bust!'''

We’re reaching higher heights, but you can’t Come Along With Us…

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

Who Won? Finn & Jake Banjo & Kazooie -

Opponents in need for hire!

Dante from the Devil May Cry series (might have him and Vergil against Cuphead and Mugman)

Rocko (Rocko's Modern Life)

Fox McCloud