Artists vs TMNT/Rap Meanings

Leonardo da Vinci:
Cowabunga, dude, so let's get it on.

(The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles often say "Cowabunga!" to express fun, or even to greet someone. Leonardo is saluting them the way they would do, but is also starting the battle at the same time.)

Reptiles against the fathers of the Renaissance.

(Turtles are reptiles of the order Chelonii or Testudines characterized by a special bony or cartilaginous shell developed from their ribs and acting as a shield. Da Vinci says that mere reptiles are battling great star figures of Renaissance art.)

We got the classical technique

(All of the artists are known for successfully using the classic techniques of the Greeks and Romans.)

To kick these three-toed freaks back under the street.

(They are going to use the aforementioned technique to kick, or otherwise beat, the turtles back into the sewers of New York City, where they live. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are shown to have three fingers and toes. After this line, Donatello shouts out a "ooh!" as a way of expressing his likeness towards da Vinci's diss.)

I take a turtle and I turn him into mincemeat.

(It's a reference to Da Vinci's anatomical studies. During his era, the Church had outlawed any practices in which violated the rights of the dead. Da Vinci, who was a pioneer of scientific thought, would steal bodies from graves so he could dissect them and study human anatomy. Getting 'minced' by him is a reference to that. He is saying that he will cut the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles open like the dead bodies.)

You don't really wanna step to da Vinci.

(Da Vinci states that they don't want to face off against him.)

I love the ladies, I like to keep it mellow,

(Da Vinci was known for painting a lot of females, such as the famous Mona Lisa. Here he is stating that he does not want to look too much like a show-off in front of the ladies since he is beating the turtles, so he lets someone else take the microphone. This is an ironic line considering there's a lot of evidence to suggest Da Vinci was a closet homosexual.)

So let me pass the mic to my man, Donatello.

(Da Vinci is telling them that it is now Donatello's time to rap. This is also a reference to the fact that da Vinci's actor, Link Neal, is partners and friends with Donatello's actor, Rhett McLaughlin.)

Donatello di Niccolò:
Hard shell, but you're gross in the middle,

(Donatello compares them to a turtle chocolate, which is usually hard on the outside, but has a chewy inside. It also refers to a turtles anatomical structure in which they have a soft body, even though they are attached to the shell. Here, however, he replaces chewy with gross. Turtle meat is often eaten in certain countries.)

Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six-foot chisel.

(This is a reference to the common expression to "not touch something with a ten foot pole". Since Donatello is a sculptor, he exchanges the pole from the idiom for a chisel, the most important tool in sculpting. Donatello the turtle's weapon is a six foot bo staff. Donatello sees the turtles as disgusting enough so that he would not want to touch them or even touch anything that was touching them, even if it was a six foot long chisel.)

Born in goop, raised in poop,

(The TMNT were mutated by mutagen, an ooze, and goop is a synonym for ooze. The TMNT were also raised in a sewer, where goop and poop are located.)

'''I slice through a group of ninjas like fruit. Oops.'''

(Fruit Ninja is a famous iOS/Android/Xbox 360 game where fruit is launched in the screen and you can slice it with your fingers. Donatello is saying he slices like the fruit in the game.)

Raphael Sanzio da Urbino:
(Yo!) Raphael, and I came to flow,

(Raphael says he came to rap against the turtles.)

Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned till I croaked.

(Raphael painted portraits of Pope Julius II and Pope Leo X which are considered the finest paintings by him. Also, he died because of misdiagnosis of the fever he got from having excessive sex with his wife, Luti. That means he boned (had a boner) until he died (croaked). He had quite an enjoyable life to his standards.)

I'm an emcee Shredder but I get the feeling,

(Shredder is the main antangonist in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. Raphael is saying he shreds MC's, and an MC Shredder is a type of shredder with a long reliable performance, so he is saying his raps are reliable to win.)

I should pass it up to my man on the ceiling!

(Michelangelo painted Genesis on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Raphael is stating that it's Michelangelo's turn to rap. This is also a reference to the fact that Raphael's actor, Anthony Padilla is partners and friends with Michelangelo's actor, Ian Hecox.)

Michelangelo Buonarroti:
(Ohhh!) Michelangelo, and I'm a giant!

(Michelangelo introduces himself by saying he is a very powerful and innovative man. He is also known as "one of the three giants of the Florentine High Renaissance.")

I made David, but I'll slay you like Goliath!

("David" is Michelangelo's most famous sculpture, depicting the biblical hero who fought the giant, Goliath. Michelangelo continues his previous line and illustrates what he'll do as a giant: slay the turtles.)

I'm a rap God, and you can't quite touch me!

("The Creation of Adam" is a famous fresco by Michelangelo, depicting God and Adam nearly touching hands. "Rap God" is a song by Eminem, used by Michelangelo to compare himself with God in this fresco. "U can't touch this" is a song by MC Hammer. Michelangelo uses this song to compare the Turtles to Adam, who are nearly touching, or "can't quite touch", (the Rap) God. Michelangelo is saying the Turtles simply can't compare to Michelangelo in rapping.)

This battle's your Last Judgement, trust me!

("The Last Judgement" was Michelangelo's most famous painting. The term "Last Judgement" comes from the Christian belief of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. The painting is a depiction of the Second Coming of Christ and the final and eternal judgment by God of all humanity. Michelangelo is saying that this battle will basically be trial for the turtles by the "Holy" fathers of the Italian Renaissance.)

Donatello di Niccolò and Leonardo da Vinci:
We drop science!

(A number of important scientists come from the Renaissance such as Tycho Brahe, Leonardo da Vinci, Nicholas Copernicus, Galileo Galilei, Johan Kepler, et al.)

Raphael Sanzio da Urbino and Michelangelo Buonarroti:
We got the mathematics!

(Many important mathematicians also come from the Renaissance such as da Vinci, René Descartes, Pierra de Fermat, Blaise Pascal, et al.)

Renaissance Artists:
The architects of rebirth are rap addicts!

(The Renaissance is, quite literally, "The Age of Rebirth". The English word Renaissance is a direct borrowing of the French word that means "re-birth". In Italian it's Rinascimento which is a derivation from rinascere, "to be reborn." The various Renaissances were periods of cultural and scientific re-awakening across Europe after the devastation of numerous wars and diseases in the Dark Ages that preceded them. The four artists are members of the Italian Renaissance, which is the most expansive and most well-known. An Architect is someone who constructs buildings. All these artists studied and/or made innovations in architecture during this time period. Raphael and Donatello are saying that all four not only built The Renaissance Period but are going to create people who addicted to rapping when they flow.)

You beat the Foot, but it won't go well,

(The Foot Clan is the Turtles' archnemesis, a band of ninjas, mutants, cyborgs, and aliens headed up by Shredder. The Turtles always manage to defeat Shredder and the Foot Clan, but it won't be the same with the Artists.) 

When you catch an Italian boot to the half shell!

(Continuing their previous lines, the Italian artists say the turtles will be greatly harmed as they shove their foot up the turtles' half shells, in other words, as they kick their butts, making a connection between their feet and the "Foot clan" the Turtles fought. This line is also delivered in the tone of the chorus of the famous TMNT cartoon opening of 1987, "Heroes in a half shell". All four artists are Italian, so this is a reference to their heritage. Coincidentally, Italy is shaped like a "boot" readying itself to "kick" the island of Sicily, so the line may reference this as well. There may also be a vague reference to the Mario Brothers from Mario Bros vs Wright Bros, as the Brothers often battle turtle-like Koopas and must defeat them by stomping, and then kicking, their shells.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
The wisdom of our master (Splinter!),

(Splinter is an old mutated rat who taught the Turtles the way of the ninja. He is depicted as a stereotypical ninja teacher, who always speaks wisely.)

Taught us not to rush to violence (Splinter!),

(Splinter never approves of immediate violence by the Turtles.)

But our master (Master Splinter!),

(There is, however, something that changes with Splinter's teachings...)

Michelangelo (Turtle):
'''Ain't here, dudes! (Hee-yah!)!'''

(...While Splinter may have taught the Turtles not to rush to battle, he isn't here; only the turtles are present. This negates the effect of his teachings and the turtles will be ruthless. The turtles are known for occasionally going behind their master's back and ignoring his rules in situations they deem fit whenever he's not around.)

Leonardo (Turtle):
I don't think you wanna mess with my katana blade!

(Leonardo's weapon of choice is the Katana, a typical ninja sword, which is rather effective in combat. He thinks the Artists are intelligent enough to know that an angry Leonardo is really effective with his blades.)

Get back in your floppy helicopter, fly away!

(Leonardo Da Vinci conceived the first prototype of a helicopter, which was of course rudimentary. The turtle advises the Artists to leave this battle in the helicopter before something bad happens.)

Michelangelo (Turtle):
I can Bebop and steadyrock a mic, sucka!

(Bebop and Rocksteady are among the Shredder's most famous henchmen. Bebop is also an old-fashioned dance. Michelangelo is saying he can dance and carefully rock a microphone (show impressive talent), and speculates the Artists can't.)

I'm a pristine Sistine nun chucka!

(The Sistine Chapel's ceiling was painted by Michelangelo Buonarroti between 1508-1512. Michelangelo says that he is a pristine (perfect) user of nun-chucks, his weapon of choice. A well-concealed pun: Catholic chapels, as in Italy, have nuns running day-to-day affairs. Mikey says he can throw nuns perfectly, and might be interpreted that Mikey considers the Artists as a bunch of nuns.)

Raphael (Turtle)
Oh hi, I'm a cool but rude guy

(In the opening of the 1980s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Song Goes "Raphael is cool but rude", Raphael is saying he is a cool and rude guy.)

Put you back in school with the tip of my two sai

(One of Raphael Sanzio de Urbino's most famous frescos is "The School of Athens", in which Raphael also painted himself in the background. The Sai are Raphael's weapons of choice.)

Donatello (Turtle):
Uh, Dona-tell me who you are again dude,

(He doesn't know who Donatello is, also a clever pun on "Donatello" and "tell". Donatello is also the least known renaissance artist out of the four. Meanwhile, Donatello is known as being the smartest of the four turtles, so here, even the smartest of them doesn't know who Donatello is to show how unknown and obscure the artist is.)

Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do.

(Continues that they have no idea who Donatello is. Donatello made a statue of Gattamelata riding a horse, and the line is a pun on "got a lot of".)

Donatello di Niccolò:
That's because you mutants are too immature

(The Turtles are mutants, so Donatello is calling it how it is. Also, people often view teenagers as being mostly too immature. In this case because of their ignorance of not knowing what Donatello has done, he says they are immature because they are too young to know.)

Leonardo da Vinci:
You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer.

(da Vinci is simply telling the Turtles that they couldn't tell a normal person from a genius, even if they visited their home, the sewers.)

Renaissance Artists:
We got the talent, and the mind, and the rhymes so sweet

(All the artists are considered talented geniuses ahead of their time. They're stating that they have more talent and intelligence than them and together they form the best rhymes to take down the Turtles.)

We're like your NES game, because we can't be beat!

(The 1989 NES game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was very hard and is considered impossible to beat.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
Go ahead and hate cause we'll just skate on by

(To quickly navigate the sewers, the Turtles ride skateboards through the tunnels. They'll simply brush off the artists' disses and keep going.)

You guys draw more dicks than New York Pride

(Many famous art pieces from the Renaissance era depicted nude figures, including male. New York holds an event called New York Pride for the LGBT community. The turtles are dissing the artists, saying they have more of an obsession for drawing male genitalia than a gay pride parade can attract, or get drawn to it.)

We're the TMNT, drop kicking Italy (Go, Go, Go, Go, Go)

(A drop kick is a fighting move and the turtles are saying they are taking down Italy, where, the artists live. The Go, Go, Go is a reference to The Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze with the lyric in the song "Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!")

Chowing on your tower of pizza, save a slice for me!

(One of Italy's most famous structures is the Leaning Tower of Pisa known worldwide for its unintended tilt to the left, built in 1172. It can be sometimes mistaken in English for the word "Pizza" instead of "Pisa". The Turtles love pizza, so Leonardo is saying that while the rest of the turtles are heading off to knock the Leaning Tower of Pisa down and presumably eat pizza, he wants them to save a piece of the action and at least one extra slice of pizza for him to eat. Pizza was created in Italy, which is where the artists are from.)