User blog:TKandMit/Vlad the Impaler vs Jack the Ripper. Epic Rap Battles of Mitstory S2

In this battle, two killer European "The"s - perfect connection amirite - duke it out. The tyranny of the Vlad Tepes III comes to impale Jack the Ripper, the mysterious person behind murders and was never found. Special thanks to Bobdave for helping me on Jack the Ripper's verse! :D

Cast
Nice Peter as  Vlad the Impaler

Dan Bull as Jack the Ripper

Epic Lloyd as The Zodiac Killer

The Battle
'Epic! Rap! Battles! Of! MITSTOREEEH!!!'

Jack the Ripper!

Versus!

...VLAAAAD THEEEEE IMPAAA*catches breath*aaAAALEER!!

Begin!

As I sit at my feast table, admiring my victims outside my castle,

I lay my eyes upon this Jackal, realize he's just an asshole.

You wanna risk it, kid? Trust me, I'm truly monstorous,

You just murdered prostitutes and stayed nothing but ominous,

Killers like you are so common, it's actually quite obnoxious!

Me? Nosferatu's prophet, think of me as the walking apocalypse!

And I'm a king! Ruling out all of Wallachia's politics!

Come to my providence if you want to display confidence,

I'll display my dominance, knock you out your consciousness,

You wake up, blood down your esophagus and shish-kabob'd, bitch!

Haha. Okay, Stoker, are you ready for the choker of London?

Cause a conundrum, skin you and bludgeon, come out of the dungeon!

Better start a-runnin', burn you at the stake like the witch you are!

Which are you, by the way? Tepes, Drac, or the Impal-E.R.?

Whatever; three victims of this vicious, malicious British star,

Rip you up, Prince Formerly Known As This Bitching Tard!

You stepping up to me is an Ottomatic lost!

Jack is hacking bodies while Dracula's jacking off!

Come on! You're being a bit overbearing,

Trust me, no one's caring, never caused a scarin',

Why am I compared against this red herring?

Fuck this shit, who's even terrified of a man really named Aaron?!

[*From the shadows.*]

Oh, me? Never seen, not taken by a kodiak,

Run away with this battle like I'm a kleptomaniac,

Taking out Tepes, burning him; pyromaniac.

[*Reveals self*]

Out from the shadows he comes, The Zodiac.

Got your back Jack, back down, bad Vlad,

These two serial killers will take down the one madman.

Go turn into a bloodsucker, Bruce Wayne, gee willickers, Batman!

So sad and was overshadowed by Dracul dad!

You are just absurd, mentally disturbed,

My kill list is in order, Vlad's at the top to murder!



Who won?!

Who's next?!

You deciiide!

Epic rap battles o-"IMPALE HIM!!"

OHFUCKGOTTAGO...OFMITSTORYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Who won? Vlad the Impaler Jack the Ripper and The Zodiac Killer