User blog:GlambertGirl84/Epic Rap Battles of History: GlambertGirl84's Lyrics 1: Adam Lambert VS Clay Aiken

Epic Rap Battles of History: GlambertGirl84's Lyrics

Episode 1 - Adam Lambert VS Clay Aiken

American Idol Season 8 finalist/true winner Adam Lambert raps against his main arch rival-mortal enemy and six-year earlier prior counterpart American Idol Season 2 finalist/true winner Clay Aiken, to battle out who is gayer, with an extremely bigger celebrity status and much more post-Idol success in their careers.

Cast

NicePeter as Adam Lambert

Alex Farnham as Clay Aiken

EPICLloyd as Ryan Seacrest (cameo appearance)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!

ADAM LAMBERT

VS...

CLAY AIKEN!!!

BEGIN!

Adam:

Hey you, I'm a glam rocker with sex appeal

I'm gonna show you how my music is real

I'm the new Freddie Mercury, you're a Barry Manilow ripoff

Your songs are always nothing but covers that make me get pissed off

My songs are more new and original

Yours are always shitty, my brother NegativeNeil says they're as shit they suck

I can't stand the way you sing, you belt it out like a woman it sounds that I don't give a fuck

Listen to this, Clayton, you being the Measure of A Man?

Let it go or "Werk, Bitch!" because I'm here For Your Entertainment but I hate your fucking style

And your sound makes me sick like I don't give a damn!

Clay:

Who are you? Are you a clone of David Bowie?

With the leather, eyeliner you wear and the glitter and all that nail polish making you fucking showy?

You are flamboyant, you scream like a bitch

The way I hear you, you made my ears bleed by more than one single inch

Why do you curse and swear? You better watch your mouth

My language is squeaky clean, because I'm from the South

I'm gonna knock you out with your "Everything I Don't Need"

You're going to be Soaked to the bone you'll get sucked up by Raleigh and Durham's doggie seed

You got so many tattoos, how many have you got there?

You used to be a reddish-blond, you tried to copy me until you went dark with all that black in your hair!

Adam:

You badass Southern crooner, with the way you talk is dumb

The banter you do is you say that's major fucking shit by using your mouth and thumb

You lost both your fathers; they died too old by two long years apart

Everything you do makes me go Cuckoo through pain inside my brain and heart

You impregnated an older-age woman friend by twenty fucking years?

Then you had a child together, with that bitch Jaymes Foster and named him Parker?

Come on, you bad ass baby-daddy bastard, I never saw him cry his tears

A Thousand Different Ways? On My Way Here? Tried And True?

Now Steadfast ain't fucking well enough for you?

You've been in the spotlight for a whole shit of a long time

Now listen to this 'cause my Trespassing is in the line of the way I rhyme

So give it up, Clayton, I'll throw a Chokehold through your ass through as I can do it fast

"No Trespassers, yeah my ass" my lyrics says it beats the shit out of your own Steadfast!

Clay:

Whatever, Adam! You got a boyfriend from Finland, you say?

How come you weren't a straight guy after your Glamberts found out you're gay?

Bring it on, your lyric says ""Cause it's about to get rough for you"

"If I was Invisible", I hate the way you see me too damn through

Your Glamberts versus my Claymates in the biggest fan war ever yet?

Wait until you see they'll pick you or me in this rap battle in a fight to set

I'm going to crush your theatrical orgin skills, within "The Way" I say

Your Finnish boyfriend Sauli always hates my boyfriend on that's how I'm gonna make ya'll pay...

You've once dated Drake LaBry but now you're with Sauli Kosinken, he laid his eyes on you that day?

Come on and stare at me, your "Never Close Our Eyes" in your blue against my green... bombs away!

(The beat in the background stops as Adam and Clay growl at each other while staring into each other's eyes.)

Announcer: Why did the rapping stop between these two Idols in this battle?! (A mysterous figure comes along in between and from behind the two arch rivals) Somebody's coming to finish it... Whoever you are out there... finish the battle!... FINISH IT NOW!

Ryan (speaking, raising his arm up high): I think I can!

Announcer: IT'S... RYAN SEACREST!

Ryan:

Yo Adam, what up Mr. Glitter Shock?

I hear that you totally rock

High five, Glambert!

You've succeeded your test, I saw you pass

You are the one, Mr. Sexy Blue Eyes

Who you've really kicked this green-eyed and big giant-eared bastard's ass!

For when it comes to true talent, you really are America's number one

I cannot believe you beat the shit out of that Southern punk for fun!

And you, Clay, he hates you because he says you ride his coattails and suck

You're a mortal enemy to him; he doesn't like you because he said you don't give a fuck

So hit the road Gonzo, you shouldn't have come along before it's too late for you

Leave him and Kris Allen alone so you and Ruben Studdard are through

Your talent was such a shit full of waste

Your record label dropped you, but not him; his is the same as your own haste of disgrace!

(Ryan stops to end his cameo rapping by walking away, Adam steps up to stood himself up against Clay)

Adam (speaking, out to Clay in Michael Jackson's voice yelling style): FUCK OFF, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

(After Adam says that, Clay screams and runs away, Ryan becomes impressed then hears Adam does his usual cute laughing sound.)

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!

Adam Lambert VS Clay Aiken

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!