Gandalf vs Dumbledore/Rap Meanings

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Gandalf:
You shall not pass!

(Gandalf's famous quote from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, in which his team crosses Durrin's Bridge, and a Balrog of Morgoth follows them. Gandalf shouts to him that he shall not pass and breaks the bridge with his staff, causing the monster to fall into the abyss. He is telling Dumbledore the same and that he will not win.)

I rap fast like Shadowfax.

(Shadowfax is the name of Gandalf's horse, who is a very fast land animal. His raps can apparently match the speed of how fast Shadowfax runs.)

Tom Riddle me this, you bitch.

(Tom Riddle is the name of the main antagonist of the Harry Potter series, more commonly known as Lord Voldemort, whom Dumbledore had taught during his time in Hogwarts. Gandalf uses the phrase "Riddle me this" with Tom Riddle's last name, questioning Dumbledore for an answer of his next line.)

How's your little wand gonna beat my staff?

(Wizards like Dumbledore wield magic wands, far inferior in size to magic staffs like Gandalf's, who is also referring to Dumbledore's penis, calling it small and weak compared to Gandalf's.)

I leave mics in flames, torched by Gandalf.

(He will set the mic aflame with fire using his raps, as he is, of course, a wizard.)

Touch mine, Dumbledore, and scorch your other hand off.

(If Dumbledore touches Gandalf's microphone, he will burn his hand off from the flames. Dumbledore's hand was burnt off by a ring that was a Horcrux in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince".)

'''You fool, you got Snaped. You're not a real fighter.'''

(Spoiler alert: Dumbledore was killed by Professor Severus Snape at the end of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". Gandalf is skilled in not only magic, but also melee combat with swords, but Dumbledore uses only magic, so he is not as much of a fighter as Gandalf is.)

Death makes you die, it just makes my brights brighter.

(After Dumbledore died, he stayed dead. However, after Gandalf was supposedly killed, he was resurrected more powerful as Gandalf the White, white being a brighter color than grey, which was Gandalf's alias beforehand.)

Your ass is like Gringotts, everyone makes a deposit.

(Gringotts is a bank in the Harry Potter series, and wizards make monetary deposits in them. Gandalf is telling Dumbledore that people keep giving him anal sex, or they place dicks in his ass, similar to how people place their money into Gringotts vaults, which also references the fact that Dumbledore was announced by J.K. Rowling to be homosexual.)

We all know you've more than a Boggart in your closet!

(A Boggart is a magical creature in the Harry Potter series, which live in closets and come out in the form of people's greatest fear. Another gay joke, referring to the phrase 'coming out the closet', a term used to announce that one is homosexual.)

Dumbledore:
The prophecy forgot to mention this day.

(A prophecy is known to foretell outcomes, and there were several prophecies in the Harry Potter series. Dumbledore is saying that that the prophecy merely forgot to reference this day.)

When I knocked your ass back to Gandalf the Grey.

(Gandalf used to wear an all-grey attire before he reincarnated into a powerful, all-white-wearing wizard. Dumbledore is saying that he will beat him back to his less powerful state.)

Check your status, they call me headmaster, you're nothing.

(Dumbledore is the headmaster of Hogwarts, whereas Gandalf is only a wizard with no actual title or rank.)

Nice staff, you compensating for something?

(A rebuttal from one of Gandalf's lines, where Dumbledore says that Gandalf's staff size might be covering his minuscule manhood.)

I prefer the company of wizards and I'm proud of it.

(Gandalf tends to be around non-wizardly folk, such as dwarves and hobbits. Dumbledore enjoys the accompaniment of his fellow wizards in Hogwarts and he is proud of the fact that he's gay.)

You try to win your battles with two fat hobbits.

(Over the course of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gandalf travels with two hobbits, namely Frodo and Sam. While Gandalf's magic can be helpful at times, it is really the hobbits who do the dirty work. In other words, Gandalf doesn't actually win his battles if he has the hobbits doing most of the work.)

You think your hairy toed friends are gonna harm me?

(Hobbits also have hairy feet, which is not a really intimidating factor. Dumbledore doesn't think they can hurt him anyways.)

Wait'll they get a taste of Dumbledore's Army!

(In "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", Professor Dolores Umbridge, who was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at the time, took up the seat as headmaster of Hogwarts and didn't allow the subject of defense at the school. Harry and his friends made a secret group known as Dumbledore's Army, or the DA, to practice Defense Against the Dark Arts, and they became skilled at it. Since the group was named after Dumbledore, he's sure they can beat Gandalf as easily as he can.)

Gandalf:
Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks.

(A quote Gandalf says to Bilbo Baggins at the beginning of "The Fellowship of the Ring". He is saying that he has more powerful magic than Dumbledore and shouldn't be taken lightly.)

I don't give a Fawkes about your Order of Phoenix!

(Fawkes is the name of Dumbledore's phoenix. The Order of the Phoenix is the name of the organization Dumbledore made to defeat Voldemort. Gandalf says he doesn't care about his group, and he uses Fawkes' name rather than "fuck" to show that he could care less about phoenixes.)

I'll tie a new knot in your beard, with your wrinkly balls.

(Dumbledore had a knot tied in his beard. He is also very old and has wrinkly testicles.)

For I am the one rapper to rule them all!

(A play on the Lord of the Rings phrase: "The one ring to rule them all". Gandalf is saying that his rapping skill will rule over others.

Dumbledore:
Your spells are a joke, not funny ones either.

(For something to be a joke means that it is either a funny phrase or a failure of sorts. Gandalf's spells are not the funny kind, they're more of the failing kind.)

'''Mines of Moria? Ha! More like Mind of Mencia!'''

(The Mines of Moria is a setting in the Lord of the Rings books, in which Gandalf tried to lead the fellowship through. Mind of Mencia is a comedy television series, so he says that Gandalf is laughable, which refers to his previous line in which he calls him a terrible joke.)

I'll Expecto my Patronum on your face, you little snitch.

(Expecto Patronum is a spell in Harry Potter that conjures up an animal spirit from someone's happiness, used in defense against dementors. If it doesn't work, a blast of white will come out instead. A Snitch is a golden ball used in Qudditch. Dumbledore may be saying he'll ejaculate on Gandalf with the white blast from his wand onto Gandalf's face.)

And when I'm finished, Imma fly like it's Quidditch!

(A reference to Nice Peter's song, "Like It's Quidditch", a parody of Far East Movement's "Like a G6". After this battle, he would soar like it's Qudditch, a sport in the Harry Potter series involving flying broomsticks.)