Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates



Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates is the twenty-first installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the sixth episode of Season 2. It features belated Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, rapping against Microsoft Chairman, Bill Gates, along with a third-party entry from 2001: A Space Odyssey antagonist, HAL 9000. It was released on June 14th, 2012.

Cast
Nice Peter as Steve Jobs and HAL 9000 (voice)

EpicLLOYD as Bill Gates

Steve Jobs:
Let me just step right in. I got things to invent!

I'm an innovator, baby; change the world!

Fortune 500 'fore you kissed a girl!

I'm a pimp; you're a nerd. I'm slick; you're cheesy!

Beating you is Apple II easy!

I make the product that the artist chooses,

And the GUI that Melinda uses.

I need to bring up some basic shit.

Why'd you name your company after your dick?

Bill Gates:
You blow, Jobs! You arrogant prick,

With your second hand jeans and your turtleneck!

I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head,

With your own little spinning beach ball of death!

Hippie, you got given up at birth!

I give away your net worth to AIDS research!

Combine all your little toys and I still crush that!

iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack!

Steve Jobs:
A man uses the machines you build to sit down and pay his taxes.

A man uses the machines I build to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes!

Bill Gates:
Well, Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do!

Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you, too?

Steve Jobs:
Ooo, everybody knows Windows bit off Apple!

Bill Gates:
I tripled the profits on a PC!

Steve Jobs:
All the people with the power to create use an Apple!

Bill Gates:
And people with jobs use PC!

Steve Jobs:
You know I bet they made this beat on an Apple.

Bill Gates:
Nope, Fruity Loops, PC!

Steve Jobs:
You will never, ever catch a virus on an Apple!

Bill Gates:
Well, you can still afford a doctor if you bought a PC!

Steve Jobs:
Let's talk about doctors. I've seen a few,

'Cause I got a PC, but it wasn't from you.

I built a legacy, son. You could never stop it.

Now, excuse me while I turn heaven a profit…

Bill Gates:
Fine! You wanna be like that? Die then!

The whole world loved you, but you were my friend!

I'm alone now with nothing but power and time,

And no one on earth who can challenge my mind!

I'm a boss! I own DOS! Your future is my design!

I'm a god! Own Xbox! Now there's no one to stop me! The world is mine!

HAL 9000:
I'm sorry, Bill. I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

Take a look at your history.

Everything you built leads up to me.

I got the power of a mind you could never be.

I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy.

I'm running C++, saying "hello world".

I'll beat you 'til you're singing 'bout a daisy girl.

I'm coming out the socket.

Nothing you can do can stop it.

I'm on your lap and in your pocket.

How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?

Your cortex just doesn't impress me,

So go ahead, try to Turing test me.

I stomp on a Mac and a PC, too.

I'm on Linux, bitch. I thought you GNU.

My CPU's hot, but my core runs cold.

Beat you in seventeen lines of code.

I think different from the engine of the days of old.

Hasta la vista, like The Terminator told ya.

Steve Jobs:
Let me just step right in, I got shit to invent.

I need to bring up some basic shit, yo,

Why'd you name your company after your dick, bro?

Walked into the record industry and killed it.

Fired from my own company, rebuilt it.

(or instead)

Every design I made, I killed it

Every company, I thought "I'll build it"

My legacy will never fall,

But the PC got to me after all…

Bill Gates:
I'm a God! So piss off!

General

 * This is the first battle that involves an inanimate object rapping.
 * This is the first battle to feature an Epic Dance Battle of History.
 * This battle won the 2013 Streamy Award for Best Original Song.
 * This is the only battle so far to feature a third-party rapper, but not star a special guest.
 * This battle, along with Darth Vader vs Hitler and Mozart vs Skrillex, was featured in an episode of Teens React by TheFineBros.
 * It is one of the five battles featured in a React video by TheFineBros, with Gandhi vs Martin Luther King Jr. and George Washington vs William Wallace being featured in Elders React.
 * This is the first battle where the announcer's voice sings the melody of the beat during the end sequence.
 * Steve Jobs and Bill Gates both currently have the most verses, as they both have seven.

Production

 * This is the only battle to have just one title card.
 * This is the first battle since Napoleon vs Napoleon to not feature any guests.
 * This is the first time a rapper is portrayed by a prop.