User blog:Awesomesix/100 NEW ERB Facts that Will Feed your Buzz

I don't take refunds sorry ma'am

ma'am

this isn't the check out line

this is a bathroom stall

you're in the wrong room ma'am

ma'am

These facts are real believe me Kevin

 * 1) I'm being held at gunpoint to make this.
 * 2) That had nothing to do with ERB.
 * 3) Neither did that.
 * 4) The videos by ERB are never edited, they make them all using magical illusions and the belief in the overlord Satan.
 * 5) The reason nobody liked Adam vs Eve is because the ass wasn't fat,
 * 6) Macho Man died after his battle because he was going to protect us from the Raptor Rapture
 * 7) Peter found Dumbledore uncomfortable to play because he doesn't like to wear dresses.
 * 8) During the filming of Goku vs Superman, Ray didn't have to wear a wig, they just scrunched him up more and his hair poofed out.
 * 9) Their portrayals are very innacurate. For example Peter's penis is one inch shorter than Rasputin's.
 * 10) Kanye West wasn't originally part of Trump vs Scrooge, but he wandered on the set and began rapping, and he was so drunk that everyone was frightened
 * 11) There's a hidden Mickey in every battle. Maker Studios was forcefully bought by Disney so that they could say they made the ears.
 * 12) Peter said in a podcast that if they ever used Disney, that they'd have him play himself after he's thawed thousands of years from now.
 * 13) Lloyd's favorite character to play was Adolf Hitler because it released his inner child.
 * 14) Peter's favorite character to play was Darth Vader because he's always wanted to be black.
 * 15) Zach Sherwin's favorite character to play was Voltaire because he didn't have to change out of his tights for filming.
 * 16) No one asked Betette who his favorite character to play was because no one gives a fuck
 * 17) The reason they used Stephen Hawking was because Peter had mad diarrhea that week and he needed an excuse the be hooked up to a toilet.
 * 18) Rhett and Link were originally going to play Smosh but they ended up playing whoever the fuck Leonardo and Donatello are like what the fuck ERB
 * 19) ERB still hasn't found Tupac, sorry.
 * 20) The reason Peter despises Link so much is a tragic childhood trama involving a mini Link figurine and his experimental cousin, Franko.
 * 21) Lloyd's wife is a coverup for the fact that Peter and Lloyd have started a family and adopted Zach Sherwin as their Jewish son.
 * 22) If you close your eyes, wiggle your ears, touch your dick, and say "Nice Peter" 3 times the next ERB will come out early. Sorry Mind, I guess you'll have to wait.
 * 23) Socrates wasn't a costume, Lloyd is actually an old man and disguises this by shaving constantly.
 * 24) Lloyd didn't play Santa because Santa rearranges to Satan and he didn't want to displease his overlord. Peter doesn't give a fuck and wanted an excuse to ask Lloyd to "touch his sack" on set.
 * 25) When asked to be in an ERB, Weird Al said "Ew what the fuck is that", so the crew promptly sent out Dante to kidnap him.
 * 26) Dante smells like curry.
 * 27) Betette is not a human, but a bear trapped in a human's body.
 * 28) ERB made RoboCop vs Terminator just so they had an excuse to ask Arnold to join them for a romantic dinner and a threeway. He agreed on the conditions that they'd dress as sexy maids the whole time.
 * 29) The ERB set is actually a prison and the crew is serving 10 years for terrorist plots. Lloyd, however, is doing 25 years for selling heroin.
 * 30) ERB intended to use Morgan Freeman in Newton vs Nye, but they changed it to Neil deGrasse Tyson because they didn't want to be judged by black science guy.
 * 31) The turtle costumes were turtles found and skinned in Sulai's backyard.
 * 32) ERB decided to make Zeus vs Thor because Forrest was losing popularity and they decided that if he were to lose all credibility, what better way to do so than make testicles out of play-dough.
 * 33) Yoda was originally planned to be in East vs West but was scrapped because the costume was too big for Lloyd.
 * 34) Peter doesn't want to use Osama because he fears it will lead the FBI right to his plot.
 * 35) Lloyd likes to wear wigs because they make him feel young again.
 * 36) Adam vs Eve only happened because Lloyd wanted an excuse to wear his new leafy underwear.
 * 37) George Watsky hasn't returned yet because he lost all his money paying for the hospital bill of the fans he jumped onto.
 * 38) Every time Lloyd has worn a kilt or tunic, he has gone commando because it feels more "in character", and this concerns Peter because of his traumatic experience with Franko.
 * 39) During the planning of Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters, Lloyd offered to get naked and cover himself in melted marshmallows, promptly resulting in him getting locked out of the studio for a month and losing his snack table priviliges.
 * 40) In Speilberg vs Hitchcock, after Speilberg moons Hitchcock, Lloyd doesn't look towards the camera because he's unamused, but because Peter has a lot of hemmorrhages. And he's unamused by them.
 * 41) Alex Farnham was only used to play Justin Bieber because Peter wanted to make his career die faster.
 * 42) The car used during Tarantino's verse caused the death of one studio member and one hobo who the crew was glad finally left them alone.
 * 43) Lloyd never played Skrillex, he was just going through a phase.
 * 44) Peter plays all the old crochety white men with wigs because his mindset is still stuck in the 1700s.
 * 45) The prior fact is why Key and Peele have never returned yet.
 * 46) Zach Sherwin played Ebenezer Scrooge because the crew wanted to mock him for setting up his house on their green screen.
 * 47) Zach Sherwin lives in the studio.
 * 48)  Peter got stuck in the RoboCop suit for a week after filming due to sweating so much in the costume. It later rusted, causing Sam Macaroni to beat up Peter in the studio parking lot.
 * 49) Lloyd wasn't supposed to wear the underwear in Walter White vs Rick Grimes, but he came out pantless and the crew wanted to cover him up before he had an accident like last time.
 * 50) Lloyd had to rap for Leonidas because Jesse Wellens' rapping voice sounds like a 5 year old girl.
 * 51) The crew has yet to break it to Dante that the backgrounds are in fact generated with green screen, and the plane they "fly" to the locations with is actually a model airplane used for simulation at the Museum of Flight.
 * 52) The Bear youtube channel is symbolic for Betette identifying as a furry.
 * 53) Peter took his role as Blackbeard so seriously that he didn't shower for a month and lost 3 teeth due to cavities.
 * 54) The audio is always released early because iTunes is getting back at ERB for insulting Steve Jobs.
 * 55) Kari Byron was the first female used.
 * 56) Tory's line "I couldn't think of a line" wasn't planned, Chris Avacado is just really shitty at writing.
 * 57) Zach Sherwin was originally going to be a regular rapper, but this was not carried out because the others feared that his Jewish nose would steal all their money, so they locked him away in storage and only take him out whenever they need a Jewish or greedy person to rap.
 * 58) Betette is the janitor and uses his tears as soap. His crushed dreams of rapping are the sponge.
 * 59) Peter was originally planned to play Juliet, but he was cast as Romeo last second because Grace looked weird with pubes on her head.
 * 60) Kubrick actually was played by his ghost, but the crew used Ruggles as a copout because they didn't want the studio getting suspicious over the demonic voices and leaky walls.
 * 61) Peter planned to drop Lloyd down on the ground from the rope during the filming of Copperfield vs Houdini, but he was foiled by Lloyd's satanic powers of levitation.
 * 62) Every battle with firearms uses real bullet-
 * 63) -ants.
 * 64) Peter played the Easter Bunny because he wanted an excuse to hop around the studio in his furry costume.
 * 65) Similar to the Bunny's hat, Adolf Hitler was planned to wear a nazi flag but this was scrapped because Peter only had the Confederate flag.
 * 66) The Russian royale was originally planned to include Rocky Balboa but this was scrapped because none of them looked good shirtless.
 * 67) Lloyd was cast as Superman because Peter wanted a reason to break his legs.
 * 68) The crew originally had a real snake for Adam vs Eve, but it escaped so they resorted to clipart.
 * 69) They later found said snake when it devoured Lump during the shooting of Ross vs Picasso.
 * 70) Dante later ate the snake.
 * 71) The hug in Gandhi vs MLK wasn't planned, Key just likes to hug people while shirtless and the crew went with it.
 * 72) Keeghan-Michael Key's favorite character to play was Gandhi because he got to be shirtless.
 * 73) Jordan Peele's favorite character to play was Muhammad Ali because he got to insult Space Jam and Key at the same time.
 * 74) George Watsky's favorite character to play was Edgar Allan Poe because he could admit to his habit of wearing pantyhose on his head without being judged directly.
 * 75) DeStorm's favorite character to play was Shaka Zulu because Peter finally stopped yelling at him.
 * 76) Mary Doodle's favorite character to play was Hot Alien because for once in her life people called her hot.
 * 77) This is especially sad because she had to wear a bra on her head for it to happen.
 * 78) Lloyd wasn't faking the accent for Terminator, that's his real voice.
 * 79) Dante has trust issues.
 * 80) Peter offered to bring in his own revolver for Rick Grimes vs Walter White, but the crew got a fake one because Peter frightened them.
 * 81) The only reason ERB made Lady Gaga vs Sarah Palin was because Lisa threatened to end the series if she couldn't use her Sexy Palin costume.
 * 82) Peter often has nightmares from playing Hulk Hogan.
 * 83) Lloyd sometiems gets nightmares from Peter playing Hulk Hogan.
 * 84) Dante sometimes get nightmares that Peter and Lloyd will abandon him in the mall again.
 * 85) Sulai actually hunted and killed animals for Shaka Zulu's outfit.
 * 86) Lloyd actually tried to draw a dick in Ross vs Picasso, but is such a terrible artist that he accidentally drew a hand. Either that or his junk is deformed.
 * 87) ERB uses real blood gathered from stray
 * 88) Goku vs Superman is unrealistic because Goku actually would win in a fight and ERB needs to do better research
 * 89) Peter felt like himself the most playing Freddie Mercury.
 * 90) KRNFX's favorite character to play was Lao Tzu because he had a reason not to shave his ugly ass beard.
 * 91) Rhett's favorite character to play was Leonardo because he could play an important character for once.
 * 92) Link's favorite character to play was William Clark because he got to wear a raccoon on his head.
 * 93) No one still gives a fuck about who Betette liked playing the most
 * 94) Gatewood's (Monroe) dress didn't fly up because of a fan, but because Peter really had to sneeze and mistook it for a tissue.
 * 95) Peter chose to release rap battles on Mondays so he had a reason to kill off the Monday Show.
 * 96) Lloyd's real name is Glasscock, he wrote the diss rap as an excuse to make fun of people who insulted his heated sand penis.
 * 97) Contrary to popular belief, Lloyd is not black.
 * 98) I still can't count, dammit.
 * 99) Just kidding. Unlike ERB, I can count past 15.
 * 100) This is the first time I've had a fact list end on the right number.
 * 101) I spoke too soon.