User blog:Awesomesix/2016 Summer Olympics: Nail vs PING PONG!

OH MY GOD GUYS

THIS IS THE MOST INTENSE BATTLE

I MEAN BOTH SIDES JUST SPIT SO HARD

THE PREMISE IS

Nail raps against people while playing ping pong.

LET'S FUCKING GO OH GOD I'M AHRD ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY SEASON 4!

JIM HENSON!

VERSUS!

WALT D-

Wait, wrong script...

NAIL?

For fuck's sake. God dammit. No. I'm not doing this, I've told you. You can't just bring me back and...

*the scene cuts to a ping pong table with Chuck Norris and Nail on either side.*

Chuck Norris;

HIYAH! This Nail’s gonna taste defeat!

When Norris’s score floors this petite

Little carpenter tool straight into the carpet!

When I pong the ping, you’ll wish you never started!

My disses are the sickest, slickest, shit,

When I hit you’ll flip and miss, you twit!

So get the paddle and we’ll battle to the end!

This cattle best skedaddle if she thinks she can win!

Epicnail:

Ping pong

''*Chuck Norris explodes and dies. Nail’s next opponent appears.*''

Tupac:

It’s Tupac here to diss a dismal ditzy witless little nail,

Whose rapping skills fail to prevail to my lyrical scale!

This table? I’ll flip it! Diminish this sport with ease!

You’re walking trapeze against me, so don’t sneeze!

I’ll score the winning point and leave you swatting air,

You don’t compare, this isn’t fair, I won the second I got here!

So prepare to get hammered, and I mean both in this sport,

And in the rap! This support is about to get floored once more!

Nail:

Ping pong

''*Tupac evaporates. Nail’s next opponent appears.*''

Morgan Freeman:

Hello. It’s Morgan Freeman, the master and table tennis disaster.

If you tried rapping any faster, you’d get caught in the plaster.

Cause your rapping is cheap! Just like you, if you catch my drift.

You want to pull ahead in this rap? I bet you don’t even lift!

Now what do you have to say, you little bitch?

I bet nothing, so keep those little lips zipped!

Okay, now back to the match, I’ll raise my racket.

I’d let you serve the ball, but even then you couldn’t smack it!

Nail:

Ping pong

''*Morgan Freeman catches on fire. Nail’s next opponent appears.*''

Buddha:

Buddha is ruder to internet tutored little loser,

So scoot your booty outta here before I boot ya!

That’s right, this is your last fight, now for your raps right:

I’m arresting you because you fight with flatly dispatched rhymes!

And now for your second; you don’t leave an impression!

Your rap shows digression! Mine are of rare selection!

Such imperfection! My dialect rises direct erections!

So hard the sky is infected by the STDs in their ejections!

Am I being too specific? Terrific! My rapping is too hard for you!

You couldn’t beat me in Ping Pong if I was a suit wearing prude!

Nail:

Ping Pong

''*Buddha freezes into gold, falls, and shatters. Nail’s next opponent appears.*''

Jesus:

Oh jeez, it’s Jesus! Believers witnessing a blessing against something so egregious!

Perfection to a tee on the mic! Now, to teach this little leech how to leave ones speechless!

I pick up the speed and turn dweebs to seed which proceed to bloom into greatness!

I cannot be insulted! I’m the son of God! Even Satan himself could not berate this!

You cannot evade this; I’m serving you with lyrics and the ping pong disposition,

So just listen to my directions, and learn perfection! I’ll instruct your intuition!

No crucifixion could fix my raps! I am great enough, now enough with that!

So try and rap! I bet you couldn’t spit back if I made this llama a humpback!

Nail:

Ping pong

''*Jesus is abducted by aliens. Nail’s next opponent appears.*''

Xenu:

Alright, I spit it tight, like Sasha Grey sitting on the mic,

I ruin appetites and fractures tykes like I shot them off their bike!

That’s right; I lay it dark! Like Don Cheadle and Nicki Minaj!

I’ll knock your block off, then use it to fracture your jaw!

I’m offensive and relentless; and to further this conversation;

ALLAHU ACKBAR! I summon Satan!

Satan:.

!efiw s‘amabO naem t‘nod I dna ,hctib siht on emit nomeD

!efil reh ekat I emit s‘tI !liaN elttil elap a ,gnisumeB

!gip a tub gnihton er‘uoy ,nosnaM ekil noisnapxE

!kcis sllems ehs rednow oN ?feeb dlo tog s‘woc sihT !hseeY

!taeb reve t‘nac uoy ssob a si taeb eht no nataS

!em taefed ot seirt erom ekat ll‘tI !hctam siht no ssergorp ruoy evaS

Nail:

PING PONG PING PONG PING PONG

''*Satan and Xenu turn into butterflies. Nail’s biggest, most ferocious opponent, appears.*''

Andrew:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Epicnail:



*Andrew hits Nail in the face with the ping pong ball and wins.*

 Who won? Not Nail Maybe Nail Possibly Nail It could be Nail... Nail! Andrew