User blog:Mystical Trixter/Captain Jack Sparrow vs. Captain America; Epic Rap Battles of Firebrand ReBranded

Oh yay, these are a thing again. Sadly, I have not been able to think up a way to cleverly introduce them, so oh well. I guess I'll go and say thank you to Timmy, Trent, and Novah all for their great work in making this battle. Go check out their battles when you can. :3

Novah as Captain Jack Sparrow

Trent as Captain America

Timmy as Captain Kirk

Also, I know this has nothing to do with winter. shaddup. ;-;

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FIREBRAND

CAPTAIN AMERICA

VERSUS

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW

BEGIN

Captain Jack Sparrow
Challenging me to fisticuffs? I’m a Captain best in his element,

And against this delegate, who without the Avengers, wouldn’t be relevant?

You could cross the Seven Seas and never see the likes of me,

Lyrics colder than Barbossa to send you to another deep freeze, savvy?

It’s Worlds End for you, Steve, your S.H.I.E.L.D can’t stand my gat,

In combat, you fall flat, so report to the Winter Soldier and Roger that

Against this fear-mongering Blackbeard, your chances are quite narrow,

And you will always remember this as the day you couldn’t defeat Captain Jack Sparrow!

Captain America
Time to Assemble a lyrical verse to beat a hysterical "captain".

Get back, Jack, or you'll come face to face with America's rappin'!

Fought in World War II! A soldier frozen in the sea;

First Avenger; and a lousy drunkard's all you'll ever be.

I'm the shining star! To you, I'm a cursed red, white, and blue pearl!

This is your world's end. You have a dead man's chest! Prepare to get hurled-

-off your plank, for steppin' to a super soldier cold as winter.

So get back from Rogers, as he rhythmically elects himself as "WINNER"!

Captain Falcon
Cruising in the Falcon of Blue, shooting rhymes that'll make you go mute,

Prepare to lose, as Douglas Jay Falcon is here to show you his moves!

I'll start my attack on Jack, captain of a pansy pirate pack,

After I'm done with you I'll paint Steve there red blue and black!

With Sparrow's drunk crap action, it's easy to diss him in rapping,

Having a bad name to pirates, making Underpants look like a good captain!

Next we Steve, the leader of the Avengers, a group of Grand Pricks,

No super powers at all except for promoting steroids to kids!

About to give these Grand Pricks some Red Skulls, get ready to hear bones crunch

Because you bunch of punks just got trumped with disses harder than a FALCON PUNCH!

Captain Kirk
Spock, beam me down so I can… teach these faux captains a thing or two…,

This is the end for you…. Sparrow, awful pirate who can’t sail the Ocean Blue,

And is now…. Octopussy whipped from a rip-off… Cthulhu,

And ooh, we got a superhero dressed in red… white and blue,

You have no might… the Hulk’s in for a better fight!

Can’t be taken… seriously, running around in… tights!

Look, get a load of this… Falcon with a birdbrain!

Whose only power is… shouting his own name!

These captains are just… zeros, thieves and heroes…

Gayer than Loki and Yoshi… looking at you, Sparrow…

Captain Planet
By the powers combined, I am Captain Planet, here to make you all look like shit,

Stop it, all of you! You're polluting the air with the toxic crap you spit!

I got nature at my side, I'm the textbook example of a real hero,

I'm Captain Planet, the hero that's gonna take you all down to zero!

Wind-ing up Fiery disses harder than the Earth that flow like Water,

Got control over every element, I'm like the freaking original Avatar!

Those aren't my only powers, to the children I win over all their Hearts,

Seeing you all fight dirty and corrupt the ecosystem, it tears them apart!

But that's why I'm here, to put all you wannabe captains back in line,

You got no strength because in this battle THE POWER IS MINE!

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CAPTAIN FIREBRAND!

Who won? Captain Jack Sparrow Captain America Captain Falcon Captain Kirk Captain Planet