User blog:EpicBrobot/Shitty Suggestions Challenge - King Midas vs Hamburger Helper

So this is just a bit of an experiment and maybe it'll go through. I'm going to take shitty suggestions I find from the YouTube comments, Twitter, anywhere, maybe even here and try to make them into semi-good battles (could be better could be worse). So the first one I found that caught my attention is King Midas's Hand vs. the Hamburger Helper Hand.

Well, let's get to it.

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY...

KING MIDAS'S HAND

VS.

THE HAMBURGER HELPER HAND

BEGIN!

King Midas
I am the epitome of rags to riches, that's right, King Midas!

Touch me with your white glove and you'll wish you never heard my diss

You're Betty Crocker's shit, the poorest choice for a dish

You'll make me rich, while I'll leave you in anquish

Hamburger Helper Hand
Aww, I think Mister Greedy is grumpy today

Have a spoonful of this, and it'll all go away

Aw, but you can't. HEY WATCH THE STOVE

You don't wanna get burned, why don't ya use a glove?

King Midas
Oh please! I won't fiddle with this clown mascot

Pipe up your raps a little, cause they aren't sounding hot

And I wouldn't wanna eat your food, I'm sure its got mold

I'll stick to an unbeatable life of luxury and gold

Hamburger Helper Hand
Don't speak so fast until that you realize

You're a blessing but a curse in disguise

But I'm family-friendly, so I only have one more line of verbal slaughter

Your family ended when you tried to hug your daughter

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP (TURNS TO GOLD) BATTLES OF HISTORY!