User blog:Alexschmidt711/Rap Battle Review 4 - Barack Obama vs Osama bin Laden by EpicRapBattles10

Welcome to my fourth fanmade rap battle review! As people on the wiki Discord probably know by now, I have a weird “obsession” with EpicRapBattles10. I don’t know what it is about the channel’s early work - the barebones video format, the unusual writing, the Autotune - but it’s all strangely enjoyable. And so I’ve decided to finally review one of their rap battles - Barack Obama vs. Osama bin Laden, their ninth battle.

Compared to some of ERB10’s other battles, this matchup is fairly sensible. They led opposite sides of the War on Terror, Obama’s last name is similar to bin Laden’s first name, and Obama was the one who announced that the military had finally killed bin Laden. I believe this was one of the more commonly requested ERB battles in the early days, before Obama vs. Romney came out, enough so that someone from ERB came out and said that they were not comfortable with doing bin Laden in a rap battle. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get started.

Atomic Beats

Yep, there’s the tag. Wouldn’t be an early ERB10 video without an unedited Atomic Beats tag interrupting things.

Announcer:
Rap Battle

At least there’s no “Two people meet for the most intense rap battle yet” or whatever slide that ERB10 use to put in many of his early battles. It might actually work here, given that there’s actually a connection this time around, but it was usually unnecessary so it’s fine to remove it here. And yes, the announcer is autotuned as per usual.

Announcer:
Barack Obama vs. Osama

Kind of weird that he says Obama’s full name and not bin Laden’s, as if he didn’t think the connection would be obvious without the rhyming names. Admittedly, the “Osama” part of the name might be better known. As for the pictures (which, per ERB10 tradition, will be the only things on screen for their respective verses), they’re fine, albeit low quality as most of ERB10’s pictures were. They aren’t inappropriate choices or really close up or anything, though they’re most likely just the first Google Image results.

Barack Obama:
Hello My Fellow Americans, It’s About Time That I’ve Said 

Oh my, ERB10 is actually sort of doing an impression here! It’s not much of an impression, but it’s something. Let’s see if it’s any different than bin Laden, though.

Also, ERB10 skipped the “Begin” part of the announcements, which happened a lot during these early battles. It’s not a requirement though, so I’ll let it slide.

And as usual, all words are capitalized for no good reason. Did ERB10 actually think you were supposed to write like this?

Barack Obama:
We Killed Osama Bin Laden, He’s Finally In His Grave Dead

Who’s Obama talking to? I guess he’s talking to his “fellow Americans,” but this is a battle against Osama bin Laden. This line also displays one problem with this match up - it’s kind of weird for Obama to tell bin Laden “I killed you” when he’s rapping next to him, and there’s only so many ways you can rephrase that. Also, trying to refer back to a point in time during a rap battle is usually a pointless endeavour, but it had been 6 months since bin Laden had died when this battle was released, so presumably everyone knows that Obama got bin Laden killed. I hate to be technical, but bin Laden’s body was buried at sea, so he’s not really “in his grave dead”. And that phrasing “In his grave dead” is pretty awkward, and redundant considering he already said we killed bin Laden. At least this line proves ERB10 knows bin Laden’s family name.

Barack Obama:
Sure, You Can Say It Took A While To Find Ya

Ah, one of the usual ERB10 filler lines, complete with a meaningless word like “sure” at the beginning.

Barack Obama:
But Now That You’re Finally Gone I’ll Wipe Out The Rest Of Al-Qadea 

Not a bad line, the flow manages to fit all the words in, and it’s something Obama would say in a rap battle. The subtitles misspell al-Qaeda, but it’s not an easy word to spell and ERB10 has messed up much easier words before.

Barack Obama:
It’s Like Home Alone, We Pumped Your Guts Full Of Led

And back to the usual ERB10 lines!

ERB10 put loads of pointless references in his early battles, so this kind of line should be no surprise. At first, I was somewhat confused by why he made a reference to Home Alone in this situation (I was thinking “Kevin was pretty violent, but he never shot anyone”), but after looking it up it’s one of the things that a gangster from the movie Kevin watches says that he uses to scare the pizza guy. However, the fact that someone in Home Alone said “I’ll pump your guts full of lead” does not mean that what happened to bin Laden was “like Home Alone!” (Though I would like to watch a version of the movie where Kevin actually did pump the Wet Bandits full of lead.) And I’ve seen plenty of people misspell “led” as “lead,” but apart from Led Zeppelin who does it the other way around? And Led Zeppelin misspelled it on purpose!

Barack Obama:
We Aren’t Going To Take S**t From A Guy Who Wears A Towel Wrapped Around His Head 

Yeah, this line is sort of racist, but Osama does wear a turban and this is a rap battle so I think it can fly. However, what is not so good is the flow on this line, given how long it is, though it could’ve been a lot worse. If the line was shortened to “We aren’t going to take s**t from a guy with a towel around his head” it would flow a lot better. Also, the Atomic Beats tag plays again.

Barack Obama:
We Are Like Lil’ Wayne, Navy Seals Make Your Bed Rock

Another reference out of nowhere, but this one works a lot better as it’s not inconsistent with the source material and makes a decent comparison. However, it feels a little lazy to start off two lines in the same verse with “It’s like X, Y” or similar. Maybe reversing it to “Navy Seals make your bed rock, like they’re  Lil’ Wayne” would work better. Also, it’s not supposed to be an exact comparison, but saying “Navy Seals make your bed rock” makes it sound like bin Laden has some sort of military fetish. Maybe he actually died of autoerotic asphyxiation? And the flow on the last part of the line doesn’t sound good at all.

Barack Obama:
If This Was Call Of Duty I Get Extra Points, Headshot

[//www.youtube.com/watch?v=UugD-A7J4bY&t=71s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UugD-A7J4bY&t=71s] References aside, bin Laden was shot in the head, so this is technically correct, though he was also shot everywhere else so it’s probably not quite how ERB10 pictured it. It’s also not a terrible rhyme. However, why does Obama say “I get extra points, headshot?” So far, Obama has said that we killed bin Laden, but now it seems like he’s saying that he killed bin Laden himself. Even so, it should be “I’d get extra points” because it’s a hypothetical situation. Also, this is yet another verse with an out of nowhere reference. Yeah, it makes some amount of sense, but you do not need to mention Call of Duty just because someone got shot. And what’s that “la la la” sound in the background? I think it might be bin Laden taunting Obama. Why include that though? Or maybe Obama’s rapping was so bad bin Laden didn’t want to hear it. Personally, I believe it’s the latter.

So now it’s bin Laden’s turn. Let’s see how well ERB10 portrays and writes him!

Osama bin Laden:
''How’s Your Economy? I Heard That It’s Weak''

As for the line itself, it’s a solid diss (or, as ERB10 spells it, “dis”) for bin Laden to give to Obama. But what’s with ERB10’s vocal performance? I can barely hear him as bin Laden, while I could hear Obama just fine! However, while this accent he’s doing is kind of weird, at least he’s something to differentiate the characters and him doing a really stereotypical and over-the-top accent would’ve sounded worse, so I’ll give it a pass.

Osama bin Laden:
How Does It Take You Ten Years To Win Hide And Go Seek?

Another good thing to diss Obama/the US on, but this means that the economy line has no payoff, especially as there is no transition between the lines. And I think the flow would sound better if it was “hide and seek” instead of “hide and go seek.” Or maybe that’s just ERB10 not having good flow, as is often the case.

Osama bin Laden:
I Would Watch What You Say, I’m A Terrorist You All Fear

And bin Laden gets his first filler line! Hooray? Also, the wording is a little screwy on this one. Admittedly, I think I have heard people say “I would watch what you say,” but shouldn’t it be “I’d watch what I’d say if I were you” or “You should watch what you say?” And why does bin Laden say “I’m a terrorist you all fear” when he’s only talking to Obama? I guess he could be referring to all Americans, but he’s only referring to Obama in all his other lines!

Osama bin Laden:
I Can Make Your Loved Ones Just As Easily Disappear

Just as easily as what? As easily as the US killed you? I doubt it, because al-Qaeda has never really kidnapped or assassinated any prominent Americans on American soil as far as I know. And I don’t think you can really do that, what with you being dead and all.

Osama bin Laden:
People Will Remember Me, I Brought Terror To Your Soil

2 filler lines within 2 verses of each other! (In case you think this line isn’t filler because it’ll get a payoff later, it doesn’t.) Man, bin Laden’s got more filler than an oversized package from Amazon!

Also: [//www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjQo7HicCcg&t=61s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjQo7HicCcg&t=61s]

Osama bin Laden:
You Blame Me So You Can Go To War To Get Some Oil

Yeah, this is a common critique of the War on Terror, but didn’t you just say that you brought terror to America, thus making you worthy of blame? Your argument doesn’t really hold up if you contradict yourself in the next verse!

And back to that previous line: (People Will Remember Me, I Brought Terror To Your Soil). Shouldn’t that’ve been followed up with a reason why no one will remember Obama, to make that line worthwhile?

Osama bin Laden:
I’ve Caused America So Much Terrible Pain/Hell, You Can’t Even Bring Toothpaste Anymore On Planes!

Ahh, who cares about when almost 3,000 people died on 9/11, the bombing of the USS Cole, all those attacks on American embassies, the worst pain al-Qaeda has ever inflicted on America was forcing the TSA to ban people from bringing toothpaste on planes!

What the heck, ERB10?

(Also, we don’t even know if bin Laden was behind the attempted attacks which caused liquids to be banned from planes.)

Barack Obama:
''What? You Call Yourself A Terrorist?''

What? You call that a verse?

Barack Obama:
We Killed You And You’re Gone, Now Al-Qaeda Is Terrorless

al-Qaeda isn’t going to stop committing terrorist attacks just because bin Laden died. In your first verse, you even talked about how you were going to kill the rest of al-Qaeda! And going back to the first line, why does bin Laden’s death mean that he can’t call himself a terrorist?

Barack Obama:
We Didn’t Waste Any Time, No Not One Single Hour

Well ERB10 sure is wasting time with these meaningless verses!

Barack Obama:
You’re Always Wearing A Robe, As If You Just Got Outta The Shower

How does that connect to the previous line? And shouldn’t it be “You always wore a robe,” given that bin Laden is dead now? This goes back to the problem of having a rap battle where one character always talks about how the other character is dead. And even though it’s not 100% incorrect, it amuses me that subtitles spell “out of” as “outta.” I guess it must’ve confused ERB10 too, because he pauses before “outta” for no reason. Yeah, Obama pauses a lot during speeches, but ERB10 hasn’t done this before during his verses as Obama!

Barack Obama:
My Plan Was Very Intense, Call Me Bill Gates 

Whaaaa?

Presenting, the most nonsensical line so far! And this is the battle which mentioned Home Alone and Call of Duty.

How was Obama’s plan “intense?” What does it mean for a plan to be intense? Why is that something to brag about? Most importantly, what the fluffernutter has Bill Gates got to do with anything? People have often described his management style as intense, but it’s not like he’s intrinsically associated with the word like how Charlie Sheen is with “winning.” And I don’t think anyone ever described Bill Gates’ plans as intense because calling a plan intense usually doesn’t make much sense! This line makes me think that ERB10 was planning a Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates rap battle but never got around to it by the time ERB made theirs. Steve Jobs did die the month before this battle came out, after all.

Barack Obama:
Don’t Mess With A Black President, Especially From The United States

So I guess messing with a white president is perfectly fine then? Or a black prime minister?

Barack Obama:
Finally You Are Over, And Lessons Have Been Learned 

What lessons? bin Laden can’t really learn them after dying. If Obama’s the one that learned, I don’t quite get what the line would mean. And bin Laden has another verse after this, so he’s not “over.”

Barack Obama:
Thank You Osama, Cause Killing You (Will Give/gave) Me  Another Term!

This is actually a good finisher against bin Laden, though I suppose bin Laden could’ve used this as a diss instead. However, ERB10 says “killing you gave me another term” while the subtitles say “will give me another term.” I’m torn on which one makes more sense, because Obama hadn’t won a second term when this video came out which makes the subtitle version make more sense but the spoken version flows better, but either pick a side or rewrite the line! And you can hear the Atomic Beats tag again.

And now for bin Laden’s final verse.

Osama bin Laden:
Obama, I Believe You Have Gone Insane

So bin Laden’s voice is normal volume now? I guess that means ERB10 was too lazy to make the audio for the first verse louder. And now that I can hear it better, I take back what I said about his impression of bin Laden, it doesn’t sound good. Does anyone else think he makes bin Laden sound like he has a slight Southern accent? I doubt anyone would’ve taken the real bin Laden seriously if he sounded like that. Then again, Putin has kind of a nasally voice, so some people can compensate for that kind of thing.

Osama bin Laden:
We Proved Your Security Bad, We Hijacked All Your Freaking Planes!

But 9/11 happened during Bush’s presidency! Obama can’t be blamed for that. And Obama never boasted about his security, so how does this show Obama is insane? Also, 4 planes isn’t “all your freaking planes.”

Osama bin Laden:
I Could(‘ve) Easily Have Diminished All Your Useless Lives

How exactly would bin Laden have gone about “diminishing” American lives? Especially if they were useless already? Hey, ERB10: “diminished” doesn’t mean “killed!” And even though the subtitles say “I Could Easily Have Diminished,” the audio says “I could’ve easily have.” That’s redundant. And repetitive. The line should probably read “I could’ve easily diminished” anyway. Though the line would still have made no sense. ERB10 also pauses awkwardly between “easily” and “have diminished.”

Osama bin Laden:
I Wear Robes So I Can Entertain All My 20 Wives

So that previous line was just filler, seeing how it doesn’t lead into this line at all. And while it is a common misconception that bin Laden had dozens of wives (B-Lo said so as well in his review of Hitler vs bin Laden), in actuality bin Laden only ever had 3-4 wives at a time. And I doubt he wore robes to entertain his wives; I’m pretty sure that’s just what people in Afghanistan and Pakistan wear.

Osama bin Laden:
I Came In And Swept America Off There Feet

Wrong “their”! You’d been going a decent amount of lines without spelling mistakes, ERB10, and you just had to break the streak! (Though, to be fair, even ERB makes spelling mistakes fairly often.) And did ERB10 even know what it means to sweep someone of their feet? Saying that bin Laden did so makes it sound like he was the best dancer at the prom and got America to go on a date with him!

Osama bin Laden:
Al-Qadea Couldn’t Even Find Me, I Was Camping Right Down The Street

ERB10 misspells al-Qaeda the exact same way again. I can understand misspelling the name and not catching it, but did ERB10 really think this was how al-Qaeda was spelled? That’s not how it’s pronounced. As for the line, shouldn’t it have gone back when you were mentioning how hard you were to find in the first verse? You haven’t mentioned it in the past few lines, so why bring it up again now?

Osama bin Laden:
 Just Like Your Economic Decisions, You Raps Do Suck

“You Raps?” So 3 consecutive lines with misspellings now! And you’re one to talk Osama, that flow was something else and not in a good way. And bin Laden already mentioned Obama’s economy in the first verse!

Osama bin Laden:
''You Think You’re Going To Get Another Term? HA Good Luck?''

So I guess bin Laden took my advice from the future and turned that “another term” statement against Obama, so good move there. And, like with Obama, it’s not a bad finisher, though it would’ve done better at the beginning of bin Laden’s verse, as he would be directly replying to Obama. And what’s with the spelling of “Ha! Good luck!”? Why is “Ha” capitalized. Admittedly, this might just be a reflection of how ERB10 says the line, which is really weird.

The end cards aren’t that weird, but they last for 30 seconds. The last card misspells “Rap Battle” as plural, though, and the announcer, after repeating “Number 10” twice, says “One-Zero” as if he didn’t think his viewers knew how base-10 numbers worked, then says “Oh-uh-oh” or something like that, and then “Bye.” What was ERB10’s purpose in letting these end segments drag out so long?

So that was Barack Obama vs. Osama bin Laden by ERB10. It has many of the usual hallmarks of early ERB10 battles, with the Autotune announcer, the use of only 2 pictures of the rappers, the refusal to leave the first letter of any word uncapitalized, nonsensical references, unimpressive rapping with poor flow, many useless or poorly constructed  lines, etc. However, at least he avoided putting in a penis size joke and put a small amount of effort into the impressions. Also, the connection between the rappers makes more sense than in many of ERB10’s other battles. This battle is probably one of the better early ERB10s.

How does this battle ranks in comparison to others I've reviewed? After comparing this battle to ERBOfExtreme’s Tolkein vs. Martin, I think it’s worse than that battle. Despite Tolkein vs. Martin’s lyrics being just as bad (if not worse) and having visuals which, while having more effort put into them, are lousy enough that they are barely an improvement over ERB10, the rapping was a lot better than in Obama vs. Osama, which gives it the edge.

Comments? Feedback? Any criticisms I missed, or mistakes I made? Any battles you’d like me to check out? You can post it below! I like seeing feedback on my posts to know other people read them.

Also, I do have a crazy (but somewhat dumb) idea for a rap battle, which I might post eventually if I actually write it all. There is a slim connection, but these are two characters you’d probably never put together. Basically, it’s similar to Wright Bros. vs Paul Bros., but even less straightforward of a connection than “brothers from Ohio.”