User blog:BreZ/BZRB 1: Joffrey Baratheon VS Draco Malfoy

Hello, this is my first ever Rap Battle. It pitches Harry Potter's Draco Malfroy against Game of Thrones King Joffrey Baratheon. There are no spoilers for Game of Thrones Seasons past Season 4. It does have spoilers from Season 1, 2, 3 and 4. Also there are a few lines from the books about stuff that didn't happen in the series. Also, Harry Potter spoilers. Hope you enjoy. Rap Meanings and poll will be coming soon.

Announcer
HIS GRACE, JOFFREY OF THE HOUSES BARATHEON AND LANNISTER, FIRST OF HIS NAME... (sigh)...

KING OF THE ANDALS AND THE FIRST MEN, LORD OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS AND PROTECTOR OF THE REALM!

VS!

DRACO MALFROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEGIN!

Draco Malfroy
I've already won, for I AM THE KING! of rapping.

You'll lose more than just a few teeth when I start bitch-smacking.

If you were anymore inbred you would be a freaking sandwich.

Come, step on the Quidditch pitch, I'll make you my Quidditch bitch.

Every time I beat you to the snitch, you're going to need another stitch.

Mount head on a spike and leave your body somewhere in a ditch.

You can call me daddy, cause I'm about to slay a King.

Transfigurate into Ramsay Bolton, start the Lannister Family flaying.

As a price I'll be keeping your skin. You were born a sin.

Got no problem, besides that you failed, betraying your own kin.

With sly and cunning, Draco Malfroy hails from House Slytherin.

Ladies call me fly, stunning, a badboy. Never fail to slither in the win.

This battle I'm bringing you total mayhem.

Your swords Lion's Tooth, Widow's Wail and Heart-eater,

Have great names, but I don't think you know how to swing them.

You want to know the truth, all you are is just a frail little whore-beater.

Joffrey Baratheon
Watch your tongue or I'll have it cut out like you're Ilyn Payne.

Your facing his Grace, King Joffrey of House Baratheon, First of his name.

King of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Realm and Lord of the Seven Kingdoms.

You'll tangle when I whelm you with the fact that you are nothing more than Voldermord's Minion.

My raps will burn you like Wildfire.

Leave you red smiled, with a bloody attire.

I AM THE KING! sitting on the Iron Throne.

Seems I got an ass-kicking for your loan.

Remind you, a Lannister always pays his debts.

I'll skin you like you're one of Tommen's pets.

I AM THE KING! You are mean to torment.

I'll personally cut the head of this serpent.

Tell me, what are the words for House Slytherin.

"Just like a snake our chances to win are thin"?

I'll give you your own scar, no longer need to be jealous of Potter.

Ofcourse, afterwards I'll kill you like you are a protagonist of my author.

Draco Malfroy
Your name shouldn't be Joffrey the First, but Aerys the Third.

So mad, well, till you were killed by an Old Rose and a Hummingbird.

I'm a villain but got more fans than the hero.

While the amount of fans you have is zero.

I spit rhymes like I'm a poisonous snake.

After I'm done with you can bake my cakes.

I'll cut you open like you did to that cat, but instead of fetusus, I'll be taking out your guts.

Your mother mated with Robert, her Brother and her Cousin, she's Westeros' biggest slut.

If you think you're winning, I have a revalation for you, you're not.

Wisdom makes a great King, unfortunately for you, you're just a vicious idiot.

Your Gods made you mad by flipping a coin, like a gambler.

This is your end, you can call me the Strangler.

Joffrey Baratheon
Hear me roar, cause mine is the fury.

Slaughter an entire family, like my father before me.

Instead of the Targaryans it'll be one entirely named after constellations.

I'll even take out Scorpius, and every other following generation.

Tom Riddle me this, why is this miss not yet dismissed?

Leave you in a blood-pool abyss. Show that I'm a real lyricist.

You think you can beat me, you can be my fool cause that's hysteric.

You'll be known as "Draco Malfroy.... The Amazing Bouncing Ferret"

Tonight's your loss, cause I'll toss you like a boss.

Kill you with a crossbow, just like  I did to Ros.

My arrows and lines always hit their marks.

Put an end to your arc, like your last name is Stark.