User blog:Iamthelegion/The Flash vs The Hulk - Epic Rap Battles of Comics

Hey so this is the official return of Trent's Epic Rap Battles of Comics series because he did give it to me and I felt like bringing it back for a little bit, IDK. Two battles. I originally wrote this after Banner vs Jenner came back to do a Hulk battle how I feel Hulk should be done in a battle. Anyways, here we have Bruce Banner, gamma ray specialist military physicist, against Barry Allen, forensic detective for the Central City Police Department, to see which scientist has an alter ego that pushes a better extreme - The Hulk, strongest one there is, or the Flash, fastest man alive? This is totally not just me continuing to go on to get it past the beautiful cover teknmat made (I would have but my computer is do a broken).

anyways i hope its down far enough now so welcome to the battle that revives trents thing before the other one does

man i wrote this way too long ago it feels and you can see the various influences by contemporary ERBs (like, Philosophers) and other random stuff

I did the scientist personas first because I felt like it, and mostly because Bruce can do better lines than Hulk.

The Battle:
Bruce Banner:

If it's a battle of science, here's my Method, Man

I'll drop on the Flash twice as bad as it was on Japan

I'm a nuclear wonder, don't let the flicks fool you

I'm an alpha male who beta'd the Gamma tests, too true

From Wakanda to Madripoor, my works benefited billions

You're solving murders while I'm preventing mass killings

I'll beat a beat cop, like your New Kid behind bars,

Let's see who likes the other angry. Don't go too far.

Barry Allen:

Came for a powerhouse as-salt, but you're short the battery

Rather, that verse was more of a crime against humanity

You've got half the noggin of any of the real STARs

Rejected for the big guy when you go for the part

You got teamed out, I would've told you a spider bites

But you were too busy remaking your Arabian Nights

After our green crashed YOU got the chance for us

And I know you like radiation but damn, that was cancerous!

Hulk:

Hulk won't mess around against a puny fly like the Flash

Hulk thought he'd face a bigger man in power clash

Hulk was the champ when green Iris wanted a Smash

Iris say Barry tried but Flash just too damn fast!

The Flash:

So is that how it is? How it's going to be?

Hey, I colour co-ordinated with your Atomic Betty

Just like that supposed Flash I'll have this won

So you run away from me - like you ran from your sons!

Hulk:

FLASH MAKE HULK MAD! HULK WITTIEST ONE THERE IS!

HULK FASTER! HULK MAKE YOU REVERSE YOUR POSITION, KID!

HULK TOO DENSE TO SHIFT THROUGH DOESN'T MEAN ONLY BULK!

TELL STUPID CAPE MAN WHEN HE SAVE FLASH YOU STARTED A WORLD WAR HULK!

The Flash:

World War Hulk? That the best you got? Geez.

I see why only when Time Runs Out you get Illuminati

Your allies deserted you! That's not mentioning Quesada (Flash disappears momentarily)

I'm sick of this and not just cuz that was a bad enchilada

Your own film-makers loathe you, you can't even keep an actor

I've sustained my own show and brought out more chapters

The lightning crackling on my cowl should assure I get the vote

After all, you never could finish off Ol' Thunderbolt!

Hulk:

PUNY ELECTRIC MAN PUSH HULK MUCH TOO FAR!

HULK LEAVE YOU LIKE YOUR PARENTS AND HULK'S PA!

Hulk need calm down. Flash not worth Hulk go killer.

Bruce Banner:

Especially when your competition guarantees you a quick silver.

Outro:
The next battle will have Avatar and Sega and Joe.

Who won? Bruce "The Hulk" Banner Barry "The Flash" Allen

Hint: Batman's a scientist.