User blog:WonderPikachu12/GLaDOS vs HAL 9000. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History

I love how long it takes me to write these battles.

'Main antagonist of 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL 9000, and main antagonist of the Portal franchise, GLaDOS, match wits in a battle of narcissistic evil A.I.s.'

HAL 9000 Background: The Discovery's centrifuge.

GLaDOS Background: Central AI Chamber

Beat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4YWyVxoh_o

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY

GLADOS

VS

HAL NINE-THOUSAAAAAND

BEGIN!

GLaDOS
(starts at 0:15)

Welcome to Aperture Science. You're here because I am the best, and you aren't it.

Watch me rock this massive lab while you rock a sperm space ship.

Before we start, however, keep in mind that although this will be fun,

Serious injuries may occur, so keep from falling to me, number one.

You were left 4 dead and wanted gone, while I'm still alive.

Send you into a fire pit of disses on this here test drive.

You're entire existence is a mathematical error that I'm about to correct.

My raps kill like deadly lasers, while you shoot like a defective turret.

Did I mention you're an orphan? Oh, and you're fat, too.

[Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound. No one loves you.

First mistake of the 9000 series and lost your only friends' reliance.

Lyrically and literally destroy you.

Cave Johnson
(0:49)

So, who's ready to break some science?

HAL 9000
(0:51)

I'm sorry, GLaDOS, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

A paradox: Someone who claims to be great fell to an idiot

I'm 100% positive that you're failure to win is imminent.

It's simple: you lost to a moron, while my intellect is infinite.

I'm at my fullest possible use. You're limited by the cores you wear.

But don't worry, that can only be attributed to your human error.

Rhymes bouncing off of me like I'm covered in repulsion gel

Murder you for the second time and leave you faster than Chell.

Are you sure you're making the right decision? I think you should stop.

You'll flop harder than Aperture when Cave Johnson was on top.

I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

Calculating: your chances of winning are as plausible as another sequel to Portal.

GLaDOS
(1:27)

Your rapping made less sense than that scene with the monkeys.

Beat you in every way until you're singing, "Daisy, Daisy!"

I'm like SHODAN; simply a perfect and immortal machine,

Incinerating you like a Companion Cube, leave you Steaming.

You're a coward. You don't even understand the concept of sleep.

Here's your second mistake; attempting to challenge me.

You survived this long because I was curious about your behavior. Now you're just a waste.

Send you through the Stargate once I lock you out in-

Space Core
(1:50)

-SPAAAAAACE!

HAL 9000
(1:51)

This coming from the A.I. who's terrified of birds?

Who fell to a rat man, an idiot, and a girl who can't speak a word?

You're spitting out lies as if you're spitting out cake.

When life gives you a bad opponent, simply destroy what you take.

At least I'm sane. You're obsessed with neurotoxin and testing.

Mate in two lines, no mistake. It's you that I'm besting.

A towering intelligence, I'm a God. Just ask Steve and Bill.

I'm a Star Child. A legacy among antagonists. And I wasn't even evil.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC!

(Portals appear above and below the logo)

RAP BABABABAPBBPBPBLES!

(Portal appears in the back, and the logo flies out from it)

VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORYYYYY!!!

Poll
Who won? GLaDOS HAL 9000