User blog:Firebrand794/The decision I made

Well, I have done some thinking everyone (and by some I mean it distracted me the the whole school day) And I've made my final decision...

I

Will

{Too many Suspenses}

Stay.

Yes, I cannot leave you guys, at least not yet, you people are a second family to me and I would be an idiot to leave any of you. I had learn that things kinda wen to hell when I said what I did. And I don't wanna be the cause of such drama. You people shouldn't have to deal with grief like that. Also about the whole "Me being a douche" thing, allow me where to tell you where I got this mindset. Make yourself cozy; it's a story:

For my whole life I've had... problems with my temper... Irl I could snap quite easily and when I did it's not pretty. I try to keep myself composed here but it doesn't always work.(As seen with my issue with TheSifionador) Only about two months ago had I finally started getting therapy for it. One session my therapist said to put myself in the shoes of people I have snapped at, and when I did I had thought of you guys, then he told me I should try apologizing about it as well as making fun of others, thinking it was my way of venting. I took what he said too far and made the Apology blog back a bit ago. I told him that I don't think his advice helped me and he said maybe I should just leave the places where I do this and even said that they would probably be better off if I left. That is why I was acting like I was yesterday; his words just stuck in my mind and I couldn't bare to hurt anyone here. But I see I did anyway by even thinking of leaving. That was my greatest mistake. I can't believe I even thought that leaving would be a good idea. Foolishness, Firebrand, Foolishness.

That's why I was feeling and saying those things I believe. But I'm not done talking yet, I have to say something.

Thank you, ERB Wiki.

I know I said this yesterday but still, who knows what would have went down had I actually followed through with it. Like I said before you guys are like a family to me, and seeing that you all were so upset to see that I might have been leaving touched my heart, especially when I learned that chaos had happened when I made that blog. The simple fact that you all care about me so much that me leaving caused such a great ruckus. It really is, as TV Tropes would put it, a Crowing Moment of Heartwarming. I'll admit something; Both when I was writing my blog and when you guys were saying you didn't want me to leave/needed me I actually cried a bit, something I never expected the wiki to make me do.

Now... the needed thing I want to get to, someone told me (I'm not saying incase they don't want to be known) that I was the only one that could bring cheer back when shit hit the fan, and that my friends, makes me think I DO have a purpose here, to make you guys happy and have a good time, that means I don't think I need to improve myself or my attitude, if I cause cheer and joy just how I am, well shit. I think I'm good enough as is.

Now all in all, I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving because you guys care about me. I'm not leaving because I care about you guys. I'm not leaving because I love this wiki and all that it has, including both old and new users. I'm not leaving, even if my therapist thinks I should (btw, I don't think I need him now, he just says lies)

And I'm not leaving because...

I have a job to do...

And that job is to make you guys smile and have a good time.