User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 30: Flash Gordon vs Ace Rimmer

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles!

Oh, boy. This battle was a stroke of genius. This was originally going to be Han Solo vs Star Lord, but I wasn't too thrilled with that idea and it's already been done before. I came up with this idea only a few weeks ago and just fell i love with it. I hope you all will too.

This battle pits The Savior of the Universe, the man who saved every one of us, the Miracle, Flash Gordon, against the dimension-jumping hero from British sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf, Ace Rimmer (What a guy!) to see who truly is the greatest hero the Universe has ever seen!

Enjoy!

Beat: Queen freestyle rap beat

Flash Gordon
(starts at 0:10)

I have a duty to mess you up, pretty boy. You’re going to get pwned

You have a bigger ego than that bearded tyrant I dethroned!

Prince Vultan
You need help dealing with this cocky upstart, boy?

Flash Gordon
No. I need to teach him a lesson on my own.

I’m a true hero! A bigger space badass than Ellen Ripley,

While you’re battling over whether or not to mercy kill Duane Dibley!

I’ll put my life on the line to protect the Universe from an arrogant clown,

Who spends more time showing off than actually taking evil down!

Ace Rimmer
(starts at 0:31)

I'm about to destroy you like it's my job to. Your days are numbered.

This test pilot will be reporting my victory at 1300

You're outclassed! I'm better than you in all but one Dimension

I think you'd be better off putting Dr. Zarkov on his pension

I'd escape your rocket, kiss your girl and as I leave yell "See ya later!"

Then I'll fall back down to Earth on the back of an alligator!

If we ever came to blows, you'd be leaving the fight with a zimmer,

And then I'll show Dale Arden personally why they call me "Ace Rimmer"

Flash Gordon
(starts at 0:51)

You’re a title passed down from dimension to dimension

Every version of Arnold J. Rimmer is just an Ace extension

And now you’re the worst incarnation, so go kiss a neutron tank!

The Universe doesn't need a hero that insists on sex as thanks!

You left all your friends behind. You almost have my pity

But I'll still come down on you with help from the Hawkmen of Sky City

You see, you'll always be in danger as long as Gordon's Alive!

Prince Vultan
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4nS9IbT-uk Oh well. Who wants to live forever? DIVE!!!!]

Ace Rimmer
(starts at 1:12)

I didn't know anything could get cheesier than your comics!

But your 1980's film did, and that weak verse there just topped it!

From the backdrops to the soundtrack to the noises of your weapons,

And I've seen better sci-fi special effects in Blake's 7!

You were a Flash in the pan. I'd find a better opponent in the Polymorph

Then I'll be having fun in the son with the Boys from the Dwarf!

All your bravado; I can stop it all with one blow to your solar plexus

So smoke me a kipper. I’ll be back for breakfast.

Poll
WHO WON? Flash Gordon Ace Rimmer