User blog:Bantha117/Doctor Seuss vs Mother Goose. ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL) Season 3



Goddamn. Welcome back. In case you forgot, we have a series.

Well, we did for a while.

Then, shit happened.

But after several roadblocks, WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HERE!

Forced reference to rapper transition ahoy!

Yes, it’s the real rhymers of history, in their works and even their names, The Doctor Seuss, and The Motherfucking Goose, battling it out to see who can cuck Cyan harder.

Ye, sorry, man. I know you just did this battle (look here!), but we started working on this before your battle came out, and after so many things getting in the way of us making another battle, we really couldn’t wait any longer. This wasn’t the original plan, but like I said, lots of real life shit and otherwise prevented us from finishing a battle since March.

The waiting must end. Let’s begin (after Tiger gets to speak some).

Tigger’s Note: i did fucking jack shit on this battle literally worked on like 2 lines and no research whatsoever rest in sergeant pepperoni captain salami lieutenant prosciutto and general spaghetti

Doctor Seuss vs Mother Goose
OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY!

OH GOD! THAT WAIT WAS ABSURDLY LONG!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Doctor Seuss:

(Begins at 0:21)

Old Mother Goose, she had decided to wander

In a wubbulous world of wonder, then was torn asunder

By the physician with a disposition for rhyming compositions

For re-spinning Grimm prints in her own children's edition

I am Seuss! You are Goose! I will not offer a truce

No, I will use your refuse as an excuse to let loose

You are a Puss in Boots, I am a beloved writer

Colors brighter! Mighty fighter! My sales are highly higher

Hit the mat, you old bat! You are old-hat and fat

I am the Doctor, in fact, you are merely a quack

And that's that! A wrapped rap, it is your turn at bat

But unlike the Cat in the Hat, I will not come back

Mother Goose:

(Begins at 0:52)

Now children, how chilling, this liar is filling

His whole verse with flow worse than Myers' top billing

You make-believe healer, you paint me a stealer?

I run this zoo, circus too, you're in the real rhymer's theater!

Ask any dude "Who's the Goose?" "Why, she's the spruced-up Zeus"

You were removed for getting boozed! Boom! Origin of Seuss!

Your rap is more crap than your attacks on the Japs

And your "greatest creation"'s just a strapped-capped cat

Oh the places you went! Time spent traveling the globe!

Notice me, everpresent, you're irrelevant out of home!

Quit, Teddy, you're shit! Shilling illustrated Flit!

You're unfit to be pit against this lit wit being spit!

The Cat in the Hat :

(Begins at 1:23)

1 spit! 2 spat! The Cat in the Hat saw a spat!

Now 3 spat, in fact! Bust a cap in the ass!

Straight Outta Whoville to Who diss this blue bitch

Read bitch’s poor rhymes and in short time I go Grinch

You’re a hack, Aflac. Get your humpty-dump asscrack tossed!

For want of a writer, the battle was lost!

Hey diddle dipshit, I’m going green eggs and ham on this loon

With Horton here, Seuss Crew’ll boot you over the moon!

Puss in Boots:

(Begins at 1:43)

Haha! This candy cane kitty needs to look at his book

If he wants his film good he should learn from a crook!

A Myers is a Myers, no matter how green or furry

I’ll purr as I spurn this cur like Eddie Murphy!

Then after, I’ll splatter his master’s grey matter

The flatter the badder! Entrap this mad hatter (Ha!)

What’s the matter? Have you no words or an answer?

Cat got your tongue? No! It’s just throat cancer!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED RELEASE DATE!

KILL ME PLEASE!

Seuss v Goose - Dawn of Moose Doctor Seuss & The Cat in the Hat Mother Goose & Puss in Boots

Disclaimer

 * As of Friday/Saturday, both Tiger and I will be less active, due to reasons of our own business.
 * As you might have guessed based on how our “process” has been (not) going, we’ve hit a wall, essentially. Any schedule we may have had has been all but thrown out. Suggest away. Please.
 * Once more, with feeling: Sorry, Cyan.