User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature 7: Ian Fleming vs Tom Clancy

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature!

I'm back from my week's hiatus! Celebrate! Or don't. A lot of good battle writers have gaps of two weeks or longer anyway. My last exam for a good while was finished today so I no longer have that to worry about. Now I can get back to writing a battle a week! Yay!

It was tough to get back into it, but once I got back into it, I enjoyed writing this one! Certainly a lot more than George Orwell vs John Stienbeck, mayitrestinpeace.

This battle pits the writer of the James Bond novels, Ian Fleming, against the author of the Jack Ryan novels, Tom Clancy, to settle which is the true Operator-in-Chief of the spy genre.

Enjoy!

Beat: Dope Battle

Ian Fleming
(starts at 0:11)

The name's Fleming, Ian Fleming. On her Majesty's Secret Service.

I'm stomping all over your plastic army men, so get nervous.

We're not playing pretend here, Clancy. I'm a real spy!

And the motto I live my life by is and Let Die.

You're not a Red Storm Rising. Your attempts to beat me are fruitless.

I'll bring you down crashing and Burning like this is Operation Ruthless!

And after I helped win World War II, my first book made me a real star!

So keep your Jacked carbon copy of Bond. I'll be with my Commandos in R&R.

Tom Clancy
(starts at 0:36)

You're facing the Teeth of the Tiger now that I'm armed with a verse.

It's Tom Clancy's EndWar; About to squash a spy like SMERSH!

Enough of these Patriot Games. This isn't a football pitch.

Things have changed. Everyone knows that Conservative England is America's bitch!

Shit, have I pushed too far, you posh Etonian Tory toff?

Hypocrite! You stole Jame's Bond's name, so you can fuck right off!

You may have been the trailblazer, but I'm the real Command Authority!

Without Remorse, A Clear and Present Danger Against All Enemies!

Ian Fleming
(start at 1:00)

Sorry, I can't hear you over the fact I created the greatest fictional spy ever!

Whereas you stole Sam Fisher from Hitman and Solid Snake. Clever...

I'm not even mentioning all the influence your books took from mine.

My ideas are For My Eyes Only! I'm taking you in, Dead or Alive!

But hey, good luck with your films. You'll need as much as you can get.

You're so hit and miss I can't even call you a timeless Author yet.

Whereas you could say I've Lived Twice, my legacy's still so huge.

So take your shades off indoors, or I'll beat The Living Daylights out of you!

Tom Clancy
(start at 1:24)

I am the Sum of All your Fears. How can you even claim that you're winning?

Threatening to beat me like you made Bond beat his women?

I'm Locked On, Search and Destroy. Tearing you down Without Remorse.

Your verses were just Eton Mess, but my words are always the main course.

With Ghost Recon and Rainbow Six, I made a name for myself in the medium of gaming.

Your progress in that field is patchier than Goldeneye's aiming.

You died from drink and smoking, aged 53. A complete mess.

Looks like you didn't live twice after all, so YOLO, I guess.

Poll
WHO WON? Ian Fleming Tom Clancy