User blog:DexterMaximus/One Man Tourney round 1 battle 1: Captain America vs Hellboy

So, yeah, I can't be arsed to explain, so, here. This is the first battle from my One Man Duo's tourney, Captain America and Bucky Barnes vs Hellboy and Abe Sapien. Let's go!

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Captain America

NicePeter as Bucky Barnes

Dante Cimadamore as Hellboy

Alex Farnham as Abe Sapien

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Captain America!

vs!

Hellboooy!

BEGIN!

CA & BB-

CA: Well, old Uncle Sam! What do we have here?

BB: Cap, it seems we're dealing with a couple of queers

CA: Ah! So, Gay Pride has come to America, then.

How the Hell will you two boys compare to real men?

BB: Prepare to lose to two real heroes, unlucky

CA: Precisely, I'm beatin' this red guys ass, go Bucky!

BB: We're episodically and methodically messing up these

sons of bitches in the arena, fighting 'em like Xena

come and get us man, though it'll take all day

Both: Welcome to the motherfucking USA

HB & AS

HB: What was that? Was that a verse, or a shit?

AS: It was the latter, not hard to see it

HB: These Wankees think they're the only US men

AS: It's fire & water here, let me drown them like BEN

HB: Not now, Abe, we're still demolishing their asses

AS: Fine, I'll wait before I fucking plunge these huge masses

Both: You think rapping fast makes you hard and cool?

You'll be stunned by our raps, our power will make you drool

BB & CA:

CA: Talk to the shield, bitches, because the Yank aint' listening, ha!

BB: We'll wrench your balls so hard, you'll sing falsetto, la la la!

CA: We'll put out your fire, and freeze Abe in his tracks

BB: Because wins against the Winter-Soldier is what you two lacks

CA: See, we don't need grammar, this is the States!

BB: Fuk speling, and who needs to enunciate?

CA: Bucky, wait, is this getting too complex for the dear dumbo's?

BB: Probably, I haven't seen an animal stupider than fucking Jumbo's

HB & AS

HB: Wow. That was just positively ridiculous

AS: While our verse is just meticulous

Both: We're perfection, get ready to leave the selection

The option of corruption is mandatory for you...guuys (effect of a record stopping)

(and then a record restarting)

AS: Get ready to die, guys, submit to the Golden Army

HB: You fired your bullets, but they did nothing to harm me

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!


 * to the tune of the USA National Anthem*

EPIC RAP BAT-TLES OF HIST-O-RY!

Voting will end maybe after about a day.

Poll
Who Won? Captain America and Bucky Barnes Hellboy and Abe Sapien