User blog:Dark Cyan/CyGIR Rap Battles 9: Neo vs Alice

Hello, everyone. And welcome to CyGIR Rap Battles! It's time for your monthly dose!

This battle pits the One, savior of the Matrix, Neo, against the visitor to the mad, mad world of Wonderland, Alice.

It's a bad intro. I'm sorry. But I'm tired.

Enjoy!

Beat: No Sleep

Neo
(starts at 0:38)

I’m not here to tell you how this is going to end, but how it’s going to begin

Operator, I won’t need lots of guns to open fire this time. I’m in

You’re a prissy, vanilla damsel in desperate need of being unplugged,

Or that’s what I’d think if you didn’t take so many psychoactive drugs!

So free your mind! And this time, try and do so without the aid of mushrooms

I’m wasting my time on you, but I persist because I choose to

So back off dude, I know Kung-Fu! For you, there simply is no spoon!

But this mathematician’s creation should’ve known her odds at getting screwed!

I am the one. Stepping up to me in the first place was reckless

Believing you had a chance? That makes seven impossible things before breakfast!

I dodge middle class lasses shots so effortlessly, it’s prone to send them Back into Madness!

So keep your ‘alas’s’ and other outdated vernacular to your Tweedle Dumb-ass self, bitch!

Alice
(starts at 1:23)

Beyond The Laughing Sky… somewhere only in my wildest thoughts;

Exists a Wondrous place where Ghost in The Shell got just ONE whitewash

But alas, the idea’s but a novelty that minds in Hollywood couldn’t dream of

Liddell likes Riddles so here’s One! Why’s Neo like a writing desk?

(beat stops)

They should both be shut up!

(beat resumes)

We may share confusing lore’s, but investigate the core, and you will find;

That mine has inspired Coraline…..whilst yours inspired Columbine

If you don't know where you are going it doesn't matter which road you take,

Unless the road you take’s Reloaded because CGI noodle arms really take the cake!

I’m slaying Jabberwockies! While Keanu gets wrapped up in conspiracies

Maybe the Wachowskis can stop Futterwacking to your Christ Imagery;

And devise a story Trilogy without Trinity there for fan pandering!

YourSpace is blooming outdated! And your empty…aren’t you Mr. Anderson?

Neo
(starts at 2:07)

Ditto, kiddo. Your list of gothic adaptation fap-fics is longer than any kitten grin

And only through whack teacup attractions would you be able to make my head spin

I chose to save the world, denying myself my old home

While you ‘woke up’ and didn’t see how deep this Rabbit Hole goes

What if I told you the only reason you were written,

Was so your author could spend time with little girls with who he was smitten?

Wake up, Kingsleigh! You’ve been away in your dreamscape since that last Burton Flick;

When it’s clear that Alice is Dead! Another glitched bitch in the Matrix

Alice
(starts at 2:36)

Your rhymes make as much sense as the Architect scene!

I could never be as dead as your fashion sense, so Eat Me!

Curiouser and curiouser; goth trenchcoats coupled with shades at night!

You look was cool for one whole year but it is just cringe in hindsight

Once you fulfilled the prophecy, everything after took a dive in quality

Your fans started Revolutions upon the conclusion of your anthology

You'll wish you hadn't taken that pill of blue when I give this harsh truth;

Even Jupiter Ascending had better character development than you

WHO WON? Neo Alice