User:Scrawland Scribblescratch

"(No one has ever heard Sqrawland talk and survived.)"

- Sqrawland Fuqing Sqribblesqratzh



= SEASON 1 SURVIVOR: CHAT EDITION CHAMPION!!! = = SEASON 4 SURVIVOR: CHAT EDITION CHAMPION!!! = Yo. I am who I am, you can call me Scraw. I am addicted to ERB, like tons of others here. My favorites are 2, 3, 7, 11, 14, 16, 21, 22, 23, 24, and 25. All of which I have memorized. Here you can find my favorite quotes and other things. I am also fond of Star Wars and Star Trek. So, May the Force Be With You and Live Long and Prosper.

Quotes

 * "I preferred you in Spaceballs, the Rick Moranis version!"
 * "You can't even rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother? So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father? You're a pissed off little prick, with a Napoleon dick; you call that a mustache? I call it a Dirty Sanchez on your lip."
 * "I'll turn all your friends against you! Just my speeches breed haters! What's you versus a clan of all your white neighbors?"
 * "A little carbonite bath, for your goose-stepping ass! Call my homeboy in Israel and see who got the last laugh."
 * "Fooooooooour score, and sixty five years in the past, I won the Civil War with my beard, now I'm here to whup your ass!"
 * "When I move my fists, the speed of light wishes it was faster. You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone's master ."
 * Interesting Chuck Norris fact: When Chuck Norris was born, the only one who cried was the Doctor. Lesson: Never slap Chuck Norris.
 * "I'm as dope as two rappers, so you better be scared! Cause that means Albert E=MC squaghrrred!" (I spelled it with the German accent there.)
 * "Yoooooooou've got no idea whatcher messin with here boy. I got 12-inch rims on ma wheels that's how A roll y'all! I'll be stretchin' out the rhyme, like gravity stretches time, when you try putcher little p-brane against this kind of mind." (Spelled as pronounced.) And: "There are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles, in the universe that we can observe. Your mama took the ugly one and put them into one nerd."
 * "I would not could not on a boat! Read any of the boring ass plays you wrote! Even Horton doesn't want to hear you! And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you!"
 * "I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces! Each is a wonder with a plehtora of features! You're pathetically predictable, you think your new book would include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures. The Bard is in the building, it's a castle, I'm a boss, I'm in Parliament I'm positively killing it I'm iller than the plague, never caught or cholera baller baller or some cricket bowler business while you're sitting in the bleachers."
 * "Arrivederci! Imma leave before this battle begins! ... Cause we both in the end which of these captains gonna win! I'll show how a real explorer handles a situation! I'll beat you so bad, they'll feel it in the next generation! So bring it on! I'll whip you like a Klingon! My rhymes will burrow in your ears like the Wrath of Khan! I've got a neck chop for Spock, I'll put my sword through Sulu! Check into a Priceline hotel and watch your fatass on Hulu!"
 * "I. hear. you. call yourself. an. explorer. But! I'm. just not having it. You! discovered a world that was al. rea. dy inhabited!"
 * "I pity the fool who tries to step to Clubber Lang! Call me BA Biceps cause I'll crush your whole gang!"
 * "I like you just the way you are, one in a million! But it looks like the barber gave your head a Brazilian!"
 * "I pity your neck Mr. Gold Chains!"
 * "I teach the whole world full of children. I can tell; You call youself 'T' cause you're too dumb to spell!"
 * "Who you callin' dumb, fool?"
 * "I'll say this once Laurence, I hope its understood. Get right back in your van and get the fuck out of my neighborhood."
 * "Someone who loathes you, bitch, now stand up and rhyme! I only thawed you out so I could beat your ass a second time! Roar like Chewbacca! The voice of Mufasa! I'm on the leader of your limp-dicked Luftwaffe! I strike back hard against a Nazi! Brain toss your ass in the air, yahtzee! Ask Indiana Jones who the fuck I am. I speak sick shit so focused I break your concentration camp! I'm a certified Sith Lord, you runt! So suck on deez! ... Deez robot nuts! I'm going to enjoy watching you die! So let me do it with my own eyes."
 * Best line in the battle: "Uh, sir? Deez what?"
 * "You look stressed Vader! You appear to be in pain! You need a vacation, here, take a trip on my train! I mean, you?! Leading an army of white men?! Discgraceful! Even your mike skills still aren't fully operational! You got one bitch pregnant, then gave in to ze hate! Now you're six-six (6' 6") and black, but can't get a date! Lightsaber?! You need a Life Saver! Why don't you use some of your Force to fix your fucking respirator? You think you're powerful, with your finger neck pinches? You couldn't even get your own son into the family business! Everything you do is an epic fail! Now stand at attention, and Sieg fucking Heil! What's wrong Ani? Can't take anymore? Not surprising, coming from ze Emperor's whore! (Music stops!) Ya! Ya, take that! What's the matter?Where is ze DJ? Why are you laughing? "
 * Second most epic line in the battle: "Because you're standing over the Rancor pit."
 * "Let me just step right in I got things to invent!...I need to bring up some basic shit! Why'd you name your company after your dick?"
 * "You blow Jobs! You arrogant prick! With your second hand jeans and your turtlenick! Drill a hole in the middle of your bony hid! With your own little spinning beach ball of death...iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack." (Spelled as pronounced.)
 * "I got the power of a mind you could never be. I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy...Hasta la vista like the Terminator told ya."
 * "That's what's wrong with you people, you'll do anything to get famous. Changed your name Mercury, should've been Freddie Your-anus (Uranus)."
 * "You think I haven't heard those things before? You're just a bully who's too scared to go to war. You had a hit song called 'My Way', but, someone else wrote it. You're the least talented rat in your whole pack of RODENTS!"
 * "You're in the pocket of the Mafia, and everybody know: Guina dago! Guinea dago? Guinea dago Figaro!"
 * "Easy jaws of life, I can't stand a racist. I love the color and the queers! Just ask Sammy Davis!"
 * "I'm a champion of the world! (WORLD!) Extinguished in his prime! (PRIME!) So kiss my ass, Frankie, (ASS!) but you'll have to wait in line."
 * "I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey ass, restructure your face!"
 * "I'm the Head of State! You're like a Head of Cabbage! 'Bout to get smacked in the face by my stimulus package!"
 * "By the powers invested in me by this giant bald bird! The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds! YOUUUUU! I wanna like you! Don'ttalkaboutchange, justdoit! Ifoughtforwhatwasonmybrain till a bul-let went through it! And YOUUUUUU! Moneybags! You'relikeapancake! You'reflipflopitty! It'sacountry! Notacompany! Youcanplaylike MON-OPOLY! I'll properly reach across the aisle, bitch smack you both as equals! Of the people! By the people! For the people! Eagle!"
 * "Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just the Doctor. Doesn't really even matter who. Who am I even talking to? Oh yes, you!"
 * "Don't get another turn to debate! Time to meet your permanent fate! Now Dalek my balls!"
 * "EXTERMINATE!"
 * "Prepare...to meet...your...DENSITY! Ahahahaha! I'm a mystical medical doc at the pinnacle shifting my physical form! Gotcher knickers in a twist while you're sucking on my Picadilly! But I'm a lot lot different. Cause you're a pitiful hillbilly hanging with an oedipal kid who's a bawk-bawk chicken!"
 * "Nobody calls me chicken!"
 * "I got the baddest fists of fury that the World ever saw! Defeat whole karate schools and motherfuckers with claws! How you gonna talk more shit when my fist's in your jaw? I don't need words to serva ya! Imma just say wataaw!"
 * "You don't belong in fight, you belong in a sweatshop. So go ahead. 'spit' Make my iPod."

Winners (and their best lines)

 * John Lennon
 * I'm John Lennon. I'm a legend. I can see through all your tricks. I wonder how much George Bush paid you to suck his dick.
 * Darth Vader
 * You can't even rhyme against the dark side of the Force, why even bother? So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father?
 * Abe Lincoln
 * I got my face on the side of a mountain, you voted for John McCain! I've got a bucket full of my head and I'm about to make it rain!
 * They both lost.
 * They all lost.
 * Ludwig van Beethoven
 * I would smack you, but in Germany, we don't hit little girls. And I'm glad I went deaf so I can't hear that piece of shit "My World."
 * Stephen Hawking
 * You wanna bring the heat with the mushroom clouds you're making? I'm about to bake battle raps from scratch like Carl Sagan.
 * Genghis Khan
 * Napoleon I of France
 * Ben Franklin
 * William Shakespeare
 * Gandalf
 * Mister Rogers
 * Christopher Columbus
 * KassemG (If not him, Peter)
 * Adolf Hitler
 * Mario Bros
 * Elvis Presley
 * Marilyn Monroe
 * HAL 9000 (If not, Steve Jobs)
 * Freddie Mercury
 * Abe Lincoln (If not him, Barack Obama)
 * Doctor Who (4th Doctor and 10th Doctor)
 * Bruce Eastwood (Too hard)
 * Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson
 * Moses
 * Adam and Eve (come on, they made up in the end)
 * Gandhi
 * Tesla (Nikola, impeccably dressed)
 * Babe Ruth

Favorite Instrumentals

 * Bill Gates vs. Steve Jobs
 * Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley
 * Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury
 * Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler 2
 * Captain Kirk vs. Christopher Columbus
 * Napoleon vs. Napoleon
 * Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris
 * Doctor Seuss vs. William Shakespeare

Favorite Voices
These are the voices I think sounded the best. And these are the voices I think sounded the most real.
 * Bill Gates
 * Abe Lincoln
 * Christopher Columbus
 * Freddie Mercury
 * Barack Obama
 * Doctor Who
 * Bruce Lee
 * Ludwig van Beethoven
 * Barack Obama
 * Freddie Mercury
 * Michael Jackson
 * Elvis Presley
 * Billy Mays
 * Bruce Lee
 * Doctor Who
 * Steve Jobs
 * Bill Gates
 * Sarah Palin
 * Stephen Hawking
 * Captain Kirk

Things I Think

 * I think Nice Peter should've been Clint Eastwood. Look at a picture of the current Clint Eastwood. It's Nice Peter gone bald in the middle.
 * EpicLLOYD makes a better John F. Kennedy than Peter, but since Peter can't play Marlon Brando...
 * Batman can only go against Sherlock Holmes.
 * Darth Vader and Adolf Hitler need another rematch.
 * Watsky needs another rap battle to appear in.
 * The little details, like Billy Mays wearing an Epic Rap Battle shirt, really make the battles come alive.
 * Peter does look a bit like Frank Sinatra.

My Rap Battles

 * 1) Paul McCartney vs. Larry King
 * 2) Darth Maul vs. John F. Kennedy
 * 3) John F. Kennedy vs. Bruce Willis
 * 4) Katy Perry vs. Hillary Clinton
 * 5) Mao Zedong vs. Mike Tyson
 * 6) Harry Styles vs. Mozart