User blog:Iamthelegion/Eragon vs Dovahkiin - Lyrical Elder Scrolls Premiere

Ohai. So, in a long-awaited premiere of the series no-one thought they'd ever actually see, Inheritance Cycle protagonist Eragon Shadeslayer attempts to flame Skyrim's hero the laat Dovahkiin in a battle of part dragons who ride dragons and have dragon magic, forming alliances with dragons to slay an ultimate evil dragon. Oh and they also end Civil Wars and unite lands under a single ruler.

Shout-out goes to K for making the awesome cover and the slightly-less-awesome title cards and just to him in general for being amazing.

Shout-out goes to Icey for inspiring me to actually finish this.

Shout-out goes to Christopher Paolini for writing one of the best fantasy serials of all time, as well as giving me an English-to-Ancient-Language translator

Shout-out goes to Matt when he finally makes his MUCH MUCH MUCH better version of this.

Cast/Backgrounds:
Me as Laat Dovahkiin (video) in Sovngarde

RLYoshi as Laat Dovahkiin (audio)

Me as Eragon Shadeslayer in the bowels of Farthen Dur

Dovahkiin's lines in bold are Thu'um (dragon shouts), and his lines in italics are fast-rap

Eragon's lines in italics are in the Ancient Language.

The Battle
''' LYRICAL ELDER SCROLLS! '''



''' VERSUS! '''



Dovahkiin:

WULD-NAH-KEST! Kick off this battle with a Whirlwind!

After I'm done hope they have enough jars to put your guts in!

I slaughter dragons wholesale! You needed a super spear for one!

And you're sure to fail when I bring Unrelenting Force in megatons!

An icon of gaming, you had one movie and then died out!

And every one of your spells? Nothing next to my shouts!

Crush your heart of hearts, spitting Elder Scrolls straight outta Norse

My Flames and Sparks can't be Vroengard'd by the Varden in its course

Any one of my Followers, furry or otherwise, trumps your entire guard

Surrender or Wuuthrad'll go split Saphira while you run the Wandering Path!

Eragon:

Bringing up Trianna? I'll spit more venom than Ouroborous ever could

As I spit more than twelve words of death you know you're gone for good

Don't need to probe your mind to know that there's nothing there

Put down entire armies in the time it takes to pick your hair!

I'm a hero, take down enemies more than a hundred times my size

I can see that you're not a threat, don't need to use Saphira's eyes

A dragon rider, so know that I'll be on top during this confrontation

I don't need to fast-travel to a punch line, with you it's an expectation

Even with your toughest Daedric my Ascûldgamln'll hit your heart in there

You can't dual wield a flow, so I'll roast you with a single BRISINGR!

Dovahkiin:

You call that Fire Breath? If that's the best you've got, I'll outlast

It may seem like I start to Slow Time, but in reality I just rap fast

TIID KLO UL!

While you send off hunting parties and cause the deaths of many men

I'm out Alduin it myself and rocking harder than your Soul Cairn

When it comes to shouts, I've the voice of a god; you're the least

Your brothers are louts, don't start this off, bring you Kyne's Peace

Hiccup here's Marked For Death since I dominate any Dragon Priest

Take a shot with Dragonrend, Joor, and now the Dawnguard leads!

Eragon:

You call that [http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Shriekwind_Bastion Shriekwind a fast rap? Think yourself a Bastion]?

Let's go Online to see your Era has been gone for the past eon

I need no Inheritance to get ahead in this and leave a dead menace

From a farm getting lettuce, I'm a hunter drawing red with every diss

You're on the Argetlam, you've broken the law, criminal scum without rhetoric

Best summon some Valorous heroes before I thristr vindr like Galbatorix

Shoot an arrow in the knee, leave your Companions screaming bloody murder!

Eka aí Shur'tugal né fricai eom thornessa o’edoc’sil skulblaka burthr!

Outro:
Wow that was tough to write. Translating into two different languages AND a fast rap.

BTW that last line means: "I am a Dragon Rider, no friend to this far from invincible dragon baby."

Who won? Laat Dovahkiin Eragon Shadeslayer

HINT: