User blog:Bantha117/Dr. Henry Jekyll vs Bruce Banner - ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL) Season 1



Juh-YEEZUS we take forever to get back on track. Ohai der, peoples of the world. After nearly an entire month, MunKitteh is back with another battle of the Absurdly Long variety. In the days leading up to the summer blockbuster The Avengers: Age of Ultron, we feature two brilliant scientists in Dr. Henry Jekyll, a kind man to all, and Dr. Bruce Banner, a timid but good-natured man, in a battle of

But is that all there is to this battle? Perhaps there is more to be seen. Read on to be sure, m8s…

Tigger’s Note: For the first time in forever, me and munkee have approximately congruent workloads we contributed to a single battle. This particular time, I did the majority of the lyric chiseling here, and I made it into a style that is very different from my previous endeavors. I focused more on flow here. Also, this battle was completed in a significantly shorter timespan than the rest of ours. Yee m8s pls read st00f glhf.

Dr. Henry Jekyll vs Bruce Banner (start at 0:09)
OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY!

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Dr. Jekyll
Begin at 0:19

It appears you’ve arrived, mister half-nudist Shrek,

The Incredible Sulk, a droll emotional wreck,

Yet he feels qualified to face The Dr. Jekyll?

This freaky geek, I find a bit too easy to heckle.

The change I made was the antidote, the answer,

Not an awry Gamma suntan and skin cancer.

Superpowers? Seems to me just glorified gangrene.

Listen, double Bs: You won't like me when I'm angry.

Bruce Banner
Begin at 0:41

From intelligence, a genius mind most superb

To malevolence, nuclear, crack skulls at a word.

I warn you: stay back, you sad sociopath.

You don't know how I attack; I smash when I'm mad.

You're a sicko, a psycho, you purposely change,

Messed up in the head, remorseless, deranged.

Stay away or I’ll crack, go clean up your act

Before Hulk's raps burn you to ash like your draft.

(Jekyll stares at Banner unimpressed. He begins to smirk, then laughs as he transforms.)

Edward Hyde
Begin at 1:03

Marvel in Jekyll's wake, his transformation.

I'm your Satan! I'll cane Red this Abomination!

I'll Hulkbust ya, no bars once I've fought ya.

You burn through actors like that other Doctor.

A reclusive nerd to a steroid-taking slob.

What? Got a She-Hulk so you can fuck on the job?

Not as smart as Stark, nor strong as Thor.

Blander than Hawkeye, you're a mockery, a bore.

Split personality and split bodies, oh, the gore!

Rip off your head like you ripped off our lore.

I'm a madman! Like that old man, I'll beatcha!

Hyde's come out of hiding! Now he's your Leader!

(Banner stares at him blankly. His head starts to shake, and his veins pop out. As his skin turns green, he raises his arms above his head. When the transformation is complete, he punches the ground.)

The Hulk
Begin at 1:34

SMASH! PUNY HUMAN INSULT SMART MAN

MAKE SMART MAN ANGRY, NOW STRONG MAN!

STRONG MAN CRUSH PUNY HYDE TO PULP

HYDE MAN GET HULK SMASHED BY HULK!

HULK BEAT HYDE MAN, SMASH LIKE LOKI!

HYDE MAN GET OUT-RAPPED AND BROKEY

HULK PUSH HYDE MAN DOWN TO HELL

HULK WIN FIGHT, NOW HYDE KILL SELF

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

WHY HAVEN’T THEY GOTTEN USED TO A GODDAMN SCHEDULE?



OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALI-

HULK…

SMASH!

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG!

DON’T KILL US!

Who won dis? Dr. Henry Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Bruce Banner/The Hulk