User blog:Howtobeme/Epic Rap Battles of Death: Goku vs Superman

So I'm starting a series where I'll translate a Death Battle into rap form. To start off I'll start with their most controversial, Son Goku vs Superman.

Locations:

Goku: Kame House

Superman: Metropolis

Epic Rap Battles of Death

Goku

Vs

Superman

Goku:

Time for round 2, straight to Super Saiyan God

Bend this Man of Steel, kneel before me like with Zod

Son of Kal-El, I’ll Kamehameha your ass straight to hell

I’m ally to good and nightmare for you, Dr. Gero, and Cell

I train every day, you’re a slave to Lois Lane

Who loses to Wayne, I’ll end your Injustice reign!

Breaking buildings, snapping necks, letting Pa die

I asked King Kai why, he said you’re an overhyped guy

After this Journey of the West, these DCtards are pests

Can’t admit Z-Fighters are the best, and way better dressed

(Superman ducks under multiple Ki Blasts flying over his head)

Superman:

This S stands for hope, Instant Transmission out of the way

Or be lobotomized, oh wait you don’t have a brain

I’m the OG hope of the universe, you copied the Monkey King

This Great Ape belongs in a zoo, bring Vegeta and Broly

I’ll take all the Saiyans at once, my power level is infinity

Let’s see Japan drop bombs on America’s trinity

This isn’t Battle of the Gods, you were stuffed in the Frieza

Evolution’s the biggest insult to the East since Hiroshima

My stupidest, gluttonous clone since Bizzaro

I’m not a bird or plane, but the Man of Tomorrow

(Goku blocks heat vision with his arm and teleports to Namek)

Goku: Since Snyder tugged your cape, a Brit ditched the undies

But showed less emotion than Bella while moping in his One Piece

So hide in space daddies’ basement, growing old in the cold

Nolan stole the show, but gritty doesn’t suit your mold

More pink than Majin Buu, peeping with the Bat

Watching tentacles make love together, World’s Finest at that

Face my Spirit Bomb, if you have a pure heart you’ll survive

Or be retconned away, just like your goddamn wife

(Superman flies through the Spirit Bomb and into outerspace)

Superman:

It’s up, up, up, and away with this Jank, let me clarify

Don’t talk about tentacles when you’re associated with hentai

It takes One Punch, Man, to make you Dr. Slump

I’ll leap over to Namek with one Shonen Jump

(Superman lands in Namek and elbows Goku in the face)

I fight for the American way, you fight only for the kicks

(Superman blocks a kick from Goku)

Don’t care if innocents get injured, less honorable than Mr. Satan

(Superman grabs Goku, flies in the air, and throws him back down)

Lift Infinity and Eternity? I think not you phony

(Goku is left kneeling to Superman)

Those DBZ wankers deserve a trophy, for being worse than bronies

(Goku is frozen into a block of solid ice)

Who Won? Son Goku Superman