User blog:M.A.T.S.H/MATSH's Rap Battles 4: Derpy Hooves VS Jynx

Hi there everyone! I suppose that this can be considered my Christmas special (because Jynx first made her appearance in a Christmas special? Get it? Because...OK.). In it, MLP character Derpy Hooves raps against Ice/Psychic Pokémon Jynx to see which controversial character is better. I sincerely hope you enjoy this and I'll be sure to make plenty of new battles next year! :D

Beat: Ice Age

0:00:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!



VS!



BEGIN!

Derpy (0.13):

People say I’m dumb but you’re the one that’s stupid if you wanna beat me

I just don’t know what went wrong with that design of yours but you’re creepy

You’re a noseless freak with giant breasts, can’t even be found in all the games

Probably because you’re a stereotypical fat ass with a nonsensical name

I’ll zap you with bolts of lightning, smash you up like thePonyville town hall

It’s claimed that your species is all female but I’ll still buck you right in the Pokéballs

You’re completely useless and uglier than your pre evolved form

Those Kisses certainly aren’t Lovely, they just leave everyone disturbed

You’re the worst of the 151, I’m going to leave this blackface whore sore

And you’re by far the last Pokémon I’d ever get a trade in for!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jynx (0.50):

<p class="MsoNormal">This Oblivious idiot should think twice if she wants to duel with Jynx

<p class="MsoNormal">I can leave you on the floor frozen and broken before you have time to blink

<p class="MsoNormal">Dear God, can you please change your voice again ? I can’t understand your banter

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re just some pathetic background pony while I’m chilling with Santa !

<p class="MsoNormal">I should Forewarn you that battling against me is futile, I could win with my hip dance

<p class="MsoNormal">Go back to delivering mail in your hamlet before I bury you under an Avalanche

<p class="MsoNormal">My rhymes and flow are even colder than the brutal winters at The North Pole

<p class="MsoNormal">Look at you, a one note character whose single joke has gotten far too old!

<p class="MsoNormal">There’s nothing even that interesting about you whereas I’m iconic

<p class="MsoNormal">I mean, come on, your rapping is even worse than your stupid spinoff comics!

<p class="MsoNormal">Are you Muffins or Bubbles now? Either way, I don’t care! You’re still going down

<p class="MsoNormal">This is your Last Roundup ! Besides, name changes won’t help you anyhow

<p class="MsoNormal">Derpy Hooves (1.29):

<p class="MsoNormal">I can’t tell what’s bigger- your ego, your blonde hair extensions or your lips

<p class="MsoNormal">Stop the Pokémon battles and get some real exercise! Look at the size of those hips!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m still beloved by many! My controversy didn’t stop me and you can’t fight this pony

<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile, you’re worse than Mr. Mime ! Every player knows you’re good for nothing!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll erase you like your time with Brock in the Ice Cave ! STOP THINKING I’M SO DIM!

<p class="MsoNormal">With that purple frostbite recolor, it’s no wonder that you always have Dry Skin !

<p class="MsoNormal">Let me spell it out, your chances of winning are as low as your Defense Stat!

<p class="MsoNormal">You’ll just be banned again! It’s time to permanently KO this overly sexual piece of trash!

<p class="MsoNormal">Jynx (1.54):

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll Doubleslap this idiot so many times; her eyes will completely fall off of her face

<p class="MsoNormal">Are you calling ME too provocative? Remind me again who has the perverted fan base!

<p class="MsoNormal">Yeah, I caused controversy but at least I never got death threats sent about me!

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re such a Slowpoke; your intelligence is as nonexistent as your “daughter” Dinky

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been beating fools like you since 1998! My rapping’s super effective like my Ice Beam

<p class="MsoNormal">You were just some animator’s easter egg! I’m still getting episodes made, honey!

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll use my Psywave to print this battle on your mind! My ice cold flows will be your regret

<p class="MsoNormal">Have a Lovely Kiss before I leave! After all, it’s the only one that you’ll ever get…

<p class="MsoNormal">(2.20):

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO WON?!

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO’S NEXT!

<p class="MsoNormal">YOU DECIDE!

<p class="MsoNormal">EPIC!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY….Oh…

Who won? Derpy Hooves Jynx

<p class="MsoNormal">