User blog:NightFalcon9004/Jesus Christ vs Eminem. Epic Fanmade Battles of History 4.

As a Christmas present to the wiki, here is a battle with Jesus Christ, whose birthday is Christmas. Because of religious views, I think that if ERB does a Jesus battle, it should be left until the very last ERB. It is also made for entertainment purposes, not to have any side on religion, so you don't need to take this fanmade battle seriously either.

So here is Eminem battling Jesus, since this is Epic Rap Battles of History, and Jesus was one of the biggest influences in history, while Eminem is one of the biggest rappers ever, and this is, well, an epic battle.

The Messiah and founder of Christianity, Jesus Christ, and world famous rapper, Eminem, rap against each other to see who is a bigger legend.

Nice Peter as Jesus Christ (since I think he would play him better than Aaron Zaragoza)

Lloyd Ahlquist as Eminem

Here is your beat, with Eminem starting on 0:27.

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYY!

EMINEM!

VS...

JESUS CHRIST!!!

BEGIN!

Eminem:

Holy Christ! You're back, but the world's not ready for you yet

And you could never beat me in a rap battle, that's something I bet

You're a low-life who teaches and preaches and has two dads

A virgin mother too? Man, I thought my childhood was bad

But it looks like you're a mama's boy, following her example

I'm the one who shouldn't be messed with like Adam & Eve's apple

In modern times, my music makes me bigger than Jesus now

So bow down to me, you so-called king, because now I've got the crown

And like a big-ass cross, I'll be bringing you down

You're no fighter. I'll beat you hard like Chris Brown

I don't know what dumb prophet gets betrayed by his own dinner guest

You practiced two religions, but all I see you doing is assholiness

Jesus:

I'm the Son of God, representing the town of Bethlehem

I'll break your ass in four like a Kit-Kat Bar, Eminem

Now you call yourself Slim Shady, but I'm all win and you're crazy

The whole world worshipped me ever since I was a baby

I'll be walking all over you like water, but no pressure

I rode mules like you on my trips to the desert

Leaving you with wounds that will never heal on your skin

I'm gonna have to die several times just to fix all your sins

Eminem:

Well lemme help you with that. I'll make you fall so you don't stand

I'm not afraid of you, punk. I go HAM like Superman

Now listen up homeboy, don't even come back in 3 days

I'm a danger, you were born in a manger. You don't have a chance anyways

People use brains God give us and become Atheist or have no religion

I'll go Pontius Pilate on your ass back to the crucifixion

And I'll be like the crown of thorns on your cranium

Now get back to the sky and try again next millenium

Jesus:

Imma make more jaws drop than my resurrection discovery

You'll be needing a doctor, but you won't make a recovery

There's no need for hate, Marshall. You're beginning to lose yourself

So confess all your wrongdoings before I send you to hell

I'll be sure you see the light as it's the path someone chooses

I know you've had a dark life, but Jesus never loses

I'm the King of Kings, the greatest ruler of all time

And as a miracle worker, I say you could work on your rhymes

Announcer:

WHO WON???

WHO'S NEXT???

Y-Y-YOU DECIDE!!!

EPIC RAP!!!!! BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYY!!!!!

Who won? Eminem Jesus Christ