Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin/Rap Meanings

Jacques Cousteau:
Jacques Cousteau, here to speed flow.

Invented SCUBA, captained the Calypso!

Palme d’Or-winning documenter of the ocean,

Ready to battle a desperate, sweaty showman!

You’re chunky and soft, you get on my nerves!

You're the only manatee I don’t want to conserve!

My Life Aquatic was adventure and beauty,

I’m so cool, Bill Murray played me in ze movie

'''I have Oscars! You’re in Doctor Dolittle 2!'''

So run back home to your daddy’s zoo!

And just to be clear, ‘cause I’m no veterinarian:

Were you killed by a fish kids pet at ze aquarium?

Steve Irwin:
Holy smokes, what a place to go!

'''You’d need a submarine for a blow that low! (Awhh!)'''

'''You'd better run! You’d better take cover!'''

'Cause crikey, I’m going from croc to Jacques hunter!

Have a look at this salty fella:

His face looks like it’s made of pure leather!

'''Look out! He’s got the body of a naked mole rat!'''

He’s cranky ‘cause he has to wear a Papa Smurf hat!

I’m a wild man, you’re a subdued sub dude!

The only crocs you could handle are some slip-on shoes

'''Crikey! You’re such a boring guy,'''

You could make a whole show about the ocean dry!

But with the sheilas you sure had fun

Your mistress was as young as your first-born son!

You never shoulda stepped to the wildlife defender

Now embrace your French nature and quietly surrender

Jacques Cousteau:
Talk about sons, better watch what you say now

You almost turned yours into Outback Mistake-house!

Steve Irwin:
'''Would you rather talk about your brother? Ooh boy'''

'''Nazi! Nazi! Nazi! Oy! Oy! Oy!'''

Jacques Cousteau:
Enough of your antics and madness!

Contain yourself, like my underwater breathing apparatus

You’re a joke of a bloke in a tacky khaki romper

Go grope a dope rope, Crocodile Humper!

There’s a type of snail, recently discovered

And named after you — I’ll eat zem with butter!

Hey Skippy, the bush-league kangaroo

Hold the D, I’m Crocodile Dun with you

Steve Irwin:
'''Where ya goin', fella? Hang on a minute'''

Like a Joey in a pouch, this ain’t quite finished!

Take a look how destructive your old films are

'''Silent World? More like Silent Worldstar!'''

If you wanna count fish, please take the reef tour

Don’t go throwin’ C-4 on the sea floor!

I’m the gold medal rhymer on the podium,

Cleanin’ you up like a Jacques Cousteau-dian (Wooo!)

I’m Mother Nature’s greatest conservationist

'''When I rock the mic, I’m danger! Danger! Dangerous!'''

So go back down under with your crew

I just blew through you like a didgeridoo!