User blog:BreZ/BZRB 4: Gordon Ramsay VS Simon Cowell

Welcome to my fourth rap battle. It's Gordon Ramsay VS Simon Cowell, as you probably figured from the title.

Announcer
GORDON RAMSAY!

VS!

SIMON COWELL!

BEGIN!

Gordon Ramsay
I’m facing you, that means my victory is assured, I’m not concerned.

I’ll leave you like the dishes I critique, overdone and burned.

You better quit this rap battle before you’re the next Gordon Ramsay casualty.

I’m getting nasty, cause it makes me angry that people have the audacity to compare me

To this ugly donkey, chunky monkey dandy chimpanzee, unmanly pansy banshee.

You beating me is nothing more than fantasy a if you disagree people will question your sanity

No longer just your sexuality. It’s too easy to make a travesty of your gross anatomy.

I can actually do the things I critique, while the only way to describe your talent is as a tragedy,

just like your rapping will be called a total catastrophe, it just isn’t your British cup of tea.

While I’m efficiently an officially MasterChef MC.

So Cowell you better stop your bitching or I’ll send you through HELL’s Kitchen.

Go do something you’re actually good for, like washing the dirty dishes.

Simon Cowell
I think you’re the one who will be left overdone and burned.

I don’t mean to be rude but, that was the worst verse I ever heard.

It was complete crap, that better not be the best jabs you got chap.

Cause if so just like you were doomed when it comes to football, you’re doomed when it comes to rap.

I’ll break you, just like I did to your top gear record.

And I won’t even need to mention The F Word.

You wanna talk getting nasty, you’re barely in the top 60 of All-Time Nastiest TV Villains,

while I’m in the top ten, so I’ll cook today’s special, it’s a Gordon Ramsay grilling.

Just shut up Gordon, even my pen has got more charisma than you ever will.

This lyrical kill is really giving me a thrill, unfortunately it isn’t against someone with actually skill.

I hate you and your show, cause it’s obvious all an act (Rrrr)

I’m a Rap Idol, Got MC Talent and me winning this battle is an X-FACTor.

Gordon Ramsay
Is that all you got, while then, here I go again.

I’ll be taking home gold, while you’ll be leaving with Silverman.

That verse was absolutely pathetic, it was a fucking disgrace.

You should be ashamed for that piece of shit, you Dickface.

You don’t like that? What did you expect to receive for getting me to my Boiling Point, a fucking medal?

And now that mention the X-Factor, just like you did on it you’ll quit this battle, you’re just an addle apple.

I got no doubt, that me beating you is what this bout is all about.

So I’ll shout it loud and proud “Take off your jacket and get the fuck out!”

Simon Cowell
That was so terrible, if that would have been an audition, all the judges would say “No”

This verse was twice as bad before, you mad bro?

You must be, cause all you do screech like a Gorgon.

Isn’t it obvious you don’t always have to scream and yell Gordon.

This will be your true Kitchen Nightmare.

My rhymes are venomous, like a viper.

I really don’t give a damn about how much agony your abusive daddy put you trough.

You should Keep it in the family. You may be Head Chef, but I just served you.

Announcer
WHO WON!? YOU DECIDE! Gordon Ramsay Simon Cowell

WHO'S NEXT!? HIT ME WITH A SUGGESTION!