User blog:ThyNotShallRap/Blackbeard vs Han Solo. Star Wars vs History Premiere

Hello, everyone who wasn't hyped for this battle and was forced to go here! Star Wars vs History is here and it's time to begin the first battle which might be subpar, you're a pirate, you even stole my R. R.! mainly because my writing isn't top-notch and I had about 2 weeks to write this, on top of that, a lot of schoolwork to do, so my total writing time is like 1 hour or so. Filled with more filler than a filled twinkie.

My huge thanks goes out to TKandMit for writing for Han Solo in this battle, If you're a fgt and haven't seen his series yet, the nav is at the bottom!

More thanks go out to TK for making the iTunes cover-thing and another thank to The Flatwoods Monster for making the title cards for each of the rappers ever when he was tired af!

FUCK YOU FORMATTING

The Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES: STAR WARS VS HISTORY!!!



Versus!



BEGIN!

Han Solo:
Watch me go Solo with this crusty hobo plagued with a pirate’s curse,

I’m setting it off so me and my bro can go home; yes, Han just shot first!

Deceiving me? I deal with greedy beings of the Creed the only way I know:

Under the table deals: to me you’re just another Greedo.

Chewie, (RRRRR!) turn on the thrusters, I’m running laps around this bastard,

In 12 parsecs! If your ship can’t handle cannons, why compare my blaster?

You’re a disaster on the track! Chasing X’s for the 0’s, while I remain composed,

Your raps are being compacted, Han just made you compost.

Blackbeard:
Avast! A young traveler whose presence is untimely!

You’ve made this trip for nothing, Kessel-Run back to Mos Eisley!

It’s best you’d be retreating or have you got a bad feeling?

Well, I spit like carbonite, leave your carcass below freezing! (Oh!)

There’s no golden dice in battle, so you best not start cheating!

Forget the lightspeed, the brig’s the only place you’ll be leaping!

You’re a threat! You’re in a debt and you act like “no sweat!”

But if I want some decorations, on my line I’ve got a Fett.

Han Solo:
Stop marking the spot, I’ve already spotted this mark,

I’ve been making blockbusters for decades, you can’t do that rated “Arr!”

You’re not gonna go far, I fought in galactic wars, you know I’m proud!

Hell, even my buddy Lando would say your head’s in the clouds!

You think you can block the Falcon? With only 40 guns and your cognomen?

I’m sorry, but she’s not a Providence. Why don’t you head back to Charleston?

Go ahead and waste time, looking for treasure and digging in the sand,

But realize, I’ve made my escape, and you just dug into Sarlacc’s land.

Blackbeard:
Please, my cargo’s thirty times richer than yours, so seal your bung hole!

Brought a whiny teen on board, and now you’re stuck in marriage trouble!

Watch me smack that laugh outta that trap you call a fuzzball!

My rhymes are treasure, you’re treacherous, but that’s no booty call!

‘Cause the Falcon is a wreck, all the Skywalkers know it too!

Son, I might be a pirate, but I’m not taking shit from you!

‘Cause you’re a washed-up swindler who cheats and lacks mojo,

Father of an arrogant child who made you leave Chewie solo!

Han Solo:
<span style=”color:#ffff4d>I don’t need to use the force to see that your ship sank,

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>I’m gonna make your crew of scurvy-ridden fakes walk the plank!

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>And they’ll be landlubber blubbering when they come back water logged,

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>They’ll point at you as their captain’s log, and you’ll be stuffed into a Tauntaun!

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>You’re gone for good! You got locked up by a dude named “Spotswood!”

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>You’re at a loss you shouldn’t start feuds with guys known for robbing dudes!

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>Stop searching for Revenge in every ocean you sail across,

<span style=”color:#ffff4d>Because Han Solo even scammed you into Queen Anne’s second loss!

Blackbeard:
Sure, I serve the Jolly Roger, but with your skills as a father,

I make no offer to evict you of the Davy Jones Locker!

Ha! If you can't swallow this, you'd choke on it like Jabba!

All the tales from your family is like one big drama soap opera!

My rum takes the steal while you’re stuck smuggling wine,

‘Cause I’m a true swashbuckler! You’re like a charter airline!

My skills make the greatest of history, but when we think about the past,

You get a movie for your origin ‘cause your ending didn’t last!

WHO WON

WHO'S NEXT

YOU SHOOT FIRST

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Sure, I serve the Jolly Roger, but with your skills as a father <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;">I make no offer to evict you of the Davy Jones Loc