User blog:TKandMit/Phoenix Wright vs Captain Falcon. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 3

This was going to be the battle intended as this arc's premiere. Yes.

Welcome to the Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains, a series owned and written entirely by your humble blog poster TKandMit. Except for this one. Yep, that's right; this battle was without a single contribution from its owner. Today, F-Zero racer Captain Falcon comes to battle the Ace Attorney lawyer, Phoenix Wright. It's a peculiar suggestion; connections including the bird-like names as well as their power in fighting with brains and brawn. In place of me writing for them, the wonderful Night and knightly Wonder did, respectively.

This battle was originally intended to be a premiere for two reasons: its unique production of two guest writers, as well as a final send-off to CaveJohnson333. Cave really loved this suggestion and was excited to see it happen in the series, and I planned for it to be posted by the time he left the wiki. Unfortunately, he ended up leaving early with the battle half-finished, and that whole idea was scrapped. But now, it seems like he became active again, so let's just consider this his "Welcome back" battle.

A third reason is that I also got lazy and didn't feel like writing lol oops.

Anyway, I really love how this came out, as it was written by two of the best rappers on this wiki. Hope you guys like it just as much. Enjoy!

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Captain Falcon

MatPat as Phoenix Wright

Anna Akana as Maya Fey (cameo)

Introduction
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!



Versus!



Begin!

Captain Falcon:
Come on! You say you serve justice, but your clients look famished!

Here's a Falcon Punch for lunch; have a taste of my knuckle sandwich!

This captain's rapping the fastest dashes to bash inn lawyer asses!

When Phoenix feels my burns, he won't Rise from the Ashes!

I'm the Mad Max of gaming with bounty hunting aptitude!

You're like the Robert Kardashian with Sonic's hairdo!

Coming straight out of the most boring game from Capcom,

It's Harvey Birdman, about to get run over by the Blue Falcon!

You'll be facing raps that are racing laps around your basic cap of a case

And attack this disgracing sap as this amazing cap makes it at first place!

Once I'm on the track, no one can keep up with my groove!

You may not stand a chance, but I'll still let you show me your moves!

Phoenix Wright:
Your Honor, if I may, I'd like to begin my own opening statement.

We have here with us Douglas Jay Falcon, professional drag racer, a man so impatient.

A disgrace to his series, leeching off of Super Smash Brothers for fame.

Such a shame, but when we race, like the criminals I put away, I bring the pain!

Now, you say you're a bounty hunter. Does crashing not make you enough cash?

I got fat stacks in the back, even a movie and crossover on top of that.

You've got this battle on lock? Syke! I see the lies on your Psyche-Locks!

I can grind your gears, I'm top notch, while you've already Maximum Ve-lost!

Speed Racer can't compare to the man that's pitted against the likes of Atticus Finch!

You keep on driving off course! I get my clients out of any pinch!

So now I'm on the case! It seems that once again, you can't handle spiky-haired heroes,

Because when it comes to new franchise installments, you've been left zero.

Captain Falcon:
Sure, I soared to fame in Smash using powerful kicks and posture,

But you get your ass beat by everyone in Marvel and Capcom's roster!

I'll overrule this emcee-at-law and dismiss each diss he presents!

With this helmet and a gavel, you can call me Judge Dredd! (Yes!)

Now I'm heading for a pit stop, so my verses will be adjourning,

But they're killing you already without needing a defense attorney!

Phoenix Wright:


Samus, you're about to choke. Your signature phrase has turned into a joke!

You're a failure of a racer, don't croak! I overcome any forgotten bloke!

You best make like your city, because I speed ahead when we match wits.

I've got a vast and lovable cast, while your series is full of grand pricks!

So, just what do I need to climb over the hinderance of your existence?

Use a ladder! Just a stepladder is needed. So? What's the difference?

Captain Falcon:
I doubt you can shout a turnabout after I make you wipeout!

Leave the mysteries to Layton and go back to detective tryouts!

Phoenix Wright:
You've got more brawns than brains, so just go ahead and flex on,

But if you truly think that you can win, to that I say



Captain Falcon:
Don't fight hand to hand with me! That's a gamble you shoulda missed!

You've dealt with poker, but the only hand that deals here is my fist!

You're no Ace! I'm sky higher on my Falcon Flyer ship!

I made this liar so fired, you better give up that badge again, Nick!

Phoenix Wright:


Checking through the Court Records, all the evidence stacks up against you.

Not even your company wants to pursue a new game for you, leaving your entire crew Big Blue.

Hide back in your car, you burnt tart! For my fame, I've actually worked hard!

Your Honor, you'll find that he's guilty. A rap track crash even worse than Earnhardt.

Who won?!

Who's next?!

Who won? Phoenix Wright Captain Falcon

Hints: Decoded
Arrow: The arrow points right. Phoenix Wright.

Zero: Captain Falcon comes from the game F-Zero.

Tennis court: Court.

Arizona Cardinals: A hint to a bird-themed battle as well as Phoenix being a city in the state of Arizona.

Falco: Another, more simple hint to a bird-themed battle. Falco and Captain Falcon share similar names and are both featured in the video game Super Smash Bros..

NightFalcon9004: A hint to Night taking part in the battle, as well as him sharing the name Falcon with his character.

Mario Bros. vs Wright Bros.: Basically another hint to Wright being in a battle, also battling someone from a Mario game title.

Mockingbird: I don't even remember the hint behind this. I think people were speculating this battle to be Phoenix Wright vs Atticus Finch, so I threw those ones deeper into that idea. Idk.

Pikachu: Both a hint to Wonder's involvement in the battle as well a Super Smash Bros. character appearing.