User blog:WonderPikachu12/Gordon Freeman vs Isaac Newton. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Season 2

Oh, hey. Haven't had a simple 1 vs 1 battle since Beat vs Banksy. Did I just spoil this battle??? maybe, shut up

This is a suggestion I've liked for a long while, and one that Voice still hasn't stopped badgering me about. >:(

A thing to admit, I hadn't played Half-Life at all before I started working on this. Okay, that's a lie. I played a couple minutes into the beginning of Half-Life 2, but that was about it. The closest thing to that that I've played were Gmod and the Portal series, but I'd never actually touched much into Half-Life itself. The only things I really knew about it going in besides the name of the protagonist were that he had a crowbar and a gravity gun, and that there was a chick named Alex. And man, did I miss out on a lot. I already love this series a ton, and am now one of the many awaiting Half-Life 3. :P At first I was a bit nervous about doing this match-up because of the fact that the Gravity Gun isn't introduced until Half-Life 2, so I wasn't sure if it'd be important enough to really use as part of a connection, but it's become evident now that it's a pretty major part of the rest of the series, so I'm confident now that it's solid enough to work. Maybe. I like it, anyways.

'Main protagonist of the Half-Life franchise, Gordon Freeman, and the physicist and mathematician who discovered the laws of gravity, Isaac Newton, face off to see which physicist truly masters gravity.'



(Starts at 0:01)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY



VS



BEGIN!

Isaac Newton:

(0:15)

Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. You've been sleeping on the job, but that's really no surprise.

Busy trying to befriend enemies you went wacking with a crowbar, while I'm proving science with a needle in my eye.

I'll disperse you like I do light. You caused your whole world to fall into absolute ruin.

You're a shoo-in for a bruisin' when this nuisance of a crewman attempts to step to up to Isaac Newton!

Idolizing Einstein? I invented that guy! I'm the mind that kickstarted science and created calculus!

And, meanwhile, you're busy doing what? Fighting against your ex-boss and crawling around in airducts?

I'm a genius, a legend! You're a joke of a joke. I'd rather face cyphers against a space biker!

Run back to your Resistance, for you can't resist this! My mind expands beyond even one of your Advisors!

Gordon Freeman:

(0:45)

Twenty years in stasis and I still won't quit. A nerd who poisoned himself thinks that he can step to this?

Yeah, I may be a man of few words, but I've got a list of things to say on this joke of a physicist.

You went and got pissed at your buddy Leibniz, then you went and pissed others off with Opticks.

And last, you spent a half-life as a failed alchemist. I guess so much for being God's gift.

We're incomparable. You're a frilly-haired freak, whose only contributions are of colors and mints.

While I help people be free, man. I save them from the corruption of governments.

Saving cities and companies, fighting aliens and soldiers. I'm symbol, a hero. I'm actually doing good!

And with my Gravity Gun, I'm manipulating the laws that you set, doing things that you only wish that you could!

This supposed Christian's pissin' off everyone of his own damn kind with his bloated ego,

But this won't be the first time a religious figure fell under the might of a Valve hero.

Your chances of winning are as hidden as the Borealis, and you're barely even worth an iota.

I haven't even used my full potential against you. Now, how about that diss I owe ya?

Isaac Newton:

(1:31)

Well, gee, man, it's really no wonder as to why you never talk, because you spit shit!

I'm tossing your raggedy ass around here like it's Garry's Mod, so you'd better quit it!

Your victory's like your occupation: theoretical. And with your lack of a face, honestly, you're forgettable.

Kid, I've got my face on a medal. And my rhymes are exploding up like they're the Citadel.

You're a Chell of your former self, worse than all of those aliens that you've faced Combined.

You're no challenge of mine. I created the very science that you used to destroy mankind!

Let's match this: you spent your whole time running around and ended up destroying a city you sought to protect.

To counter this, I proved for a city that twenty percent of their entire collection of coins were actually counterfeit.

Gordon Freeman:

(2:01)

Yeah, you did a great job wasting time counting coins. Meanwhile, I'm actually raking them in.

You ought to prepare for unforseen consequences when trying to step up to this gaming legend.

I'll take a bite out of this fig Newton, take you down like I did the entire HEC Unit.

I can even make a crowbar iconic. All you did was make a school course that's always been hated by students.

You can't grasp my raps in this battle. I'll drop your ass hard just like one of your apples.

Stick to your simple methods, Newton, I'll be busy rocking speedboats through many water channels.

I'm crossing portals into other worlds, fighting alien kind. Creatures and soldiers fall in my wake.

Controversies and criticism from fellow physicists are the only fights that you've ever faced.

I'm long jumping over you with ease. Your disses are weaker and more annoying than headcrabs.

Take apart your raps and send you piece-by-piece down to the Black Mesa test labs.

It looks like you'll be the one needing my hazard suit when you're attempting to challenge my raps.

You're an error. It's a fact; you can't counter that. You can just ask Vance. He's done the math.

Isaac Newton:

(2:47)

Of course you needed a second opinion. You can't do anything now without your precious gal.

It's good you let off so much steam, really. After all, I'm twisting all of your valves.

But now you're just swimming in your own filth. Not like you haven't done that sort before.

Your Ph.D. certainly did you good, considering your job consists of pushing carts and swinging around cords.

Your raps are clunky and flop, while my raps are hidden and explode hard, just like a land mine.

I'm an icon for the brightest minds. The geeks that play your decaying series can't even get a half-life.

Check my laws of motion: I got flow so consistent and enough force to knock you down flat on your back.

And you best stay down. You won't be getting a third round here, but...I'm sure that you're used to that.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES-

(The logo is picked up by the beam of the Gravity Gun)

WHOA...WHOOOAAA...

(It's suddenly flung into the distance)

VIDEOGAMESVSHISTORYYYYY!!!!

Poll
Who won? Gordon Freeman Isaac Newton

Hint
Here's a hint for the next battle:

Hints for this battle explained:

Gravity - the connection for this battle is "gravity", lmao.

Looney Tunes character Buddy - One of Buddy's episodes is called "Buddy the Gee Man". "Gee Man" is a reference to the G-Man, a Half-Life character.

Trivia

 * This is the first solely 1v1 battle since Beat vs Banksy. No back-up rappers, no third parties, no mid-battle transformations, no extra rappers in general aside from the title rappers. The only extra character is a speaking cameo from Alyx Vance.
 * This is the first battle where there is an uneven amount of verses between sides, although the amount of lines is the same.