User blog:GingerbreadMeth/Epic Presumptuous Rap Battles of Historee 1: Zoos vs Tharr

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

THOR

VS

ZEEEEEEUS!

BEGIN

Thor:

My name is Tom Hiddleston, I have beautiful hair and a hammer If knowledge is intoxicating, you're gonna get hammered I'm the true God of thunder, and my movies are glamorous My brother is Loki and I have sex with hammers!

Zeus: Come to the dark side... We have cookies You think I give a fuck if your brother is Loki? I have a lightning bolt in my hand, ZAPPITY ZAP ZAP You have sex with hammers? This will do, better fap

Thor:

I like big butts and I cannot lie, go back to Mount Olympus and die Oh wait you can't cause you're a piece of shit

Zeus: I have a constellation named after me, go back to Ass-gard! Oh wait you can't cause you're a piece of shit

Thor:

I will not be defeated by a gay model on a cloud! Like to look down on Earth? Watch me have sex real loud! You're gonna Marvel at my verses that hurt Hermes' lover Poison you like a Black Widow, call me Captain America!

Zeus: You're swimming in a Deadpool when you face off against me You're not supposed to eat an hour before swimming! I'm a Hulk, my raps are accurate like a Hawkeye shooter And my Iron Man style blasts will make you get neutered!

Thor: Mjolnir! Loki! Odin! Thor!

Zeus: Thunder! Hermes! Orgasms! Zeus!

Thor: Thor!

Zeus: Zeus!

Thor: Thor!

Zeus: Zeus!

Thor: Thor!

Zeus: Zeus!

Thor: Thor!

Zeus: Zeus!

Thor Zeus Thor Zeus ThorZeusThorZeusThorZeusThorZeus!

Kevin Durant: In this battle of Thunder Gods, I'm da real MVP While you're worrying about the earth, I'm knocking down threes I got a ring on my finger, LeBron's got nothing on me Everywhere I go they call me King of OKC Now I'm gonna defy the NBA rules and pop a molly

Thor and Zeus: (Wtf faces)


 * Background beats drop*

Eminem: Iiiiiii'mmmmmmmm beginning to feel like a --

Thor and Zeus: No!!!
 * zap Eminem with Lightning*

Who won? Who's next? You decide!!!

Hey guys I accidentally posted this on chat and it got good feedback so here you go!!

Who won? Zoos Tharr Kavun Doorant Eminemineminem