Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky



Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky is the sixty-eighth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the tenth episode of Season 5. It features professional skateboarder, Tony Hawk, rapping against former NHL superstar, Wayne Gretzky. It was released on December 12th, 2016.

Cast
Nice Peter as Tony Hawk

Zach Sherwin as Wayne Gretzky

EpicLLOYD as Bobby Orr (cameo)

Lyrics
[Note: Tony Hawk is in brown, Wayne Gretzky is in blue , and Bobby Orr is in gold .]

Tony Hawk:
I can skate better than this church boy turd can!

Not Cash Money, it's just Wayne versus Birdman!

You got your whole league to protect and adore you,

So which goon's gonna take this battle for you?

(Ooh!) I'm the dude who blew up extreme sports!

That nose looks like you've seen some extreme snorts!

I mean, look at that thing! That slope is gigantic!

Even I wouldn't fly off a ramp that titanic!

And all the ice underneath you will get melted into water

When I hit you with a trick that's even hotter than your daughter!

You're old and you're basic; your talent is faded!

And Oiler alert: you're about to get traded!

I drop rhymes like I'm dropping into a half-pipe!

I'll thrash this asswipe, hit you like a hash pipe!

(Uh!) Keep your mittens on, Gretzky; you're too clean!

I got this covered like gravy on poutine!

Wayne Gretzky:
That verse was rough! Damn, Tony!

So let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni!

(Eyy!) I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey,

But on the microphone, I don't play, Hawkey!

It's a street fight, T. Hawk! Show some respect!

If you don't, then you'll catch a slap shot to the deck!

And I take a Flyer down, Bird; you're getting wrecked,

So you best prepare for arrival and cross-check!

(Hey!) Let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth:

Double what you've banked in bucks! Check my net worth,

And my hot wife, the only woman in the world for Wayne!

You're on your fourth wife; talk about the X Games!

There was one big trick that you ever did,

Then you got out-spun by a 12-year-old kid!

Oh, you like fingerflips? How about one of these?

Sit on this and rotate 900 degrees!

Tony Hawk:
Great One, Wayne! Let me say something, Wayne!

I got 99 problems, and you ain't one, Wayne!

You'll catch a pop shove-it to the mullet if you tempt me!

Your threats are like my swimming pools, bruh: empty!

Wayne Gretzky:
Let's skip the kickflips and McTwists!

You'll be speechless after 3 periods like an ellipsis!

This goofy-footed geek's straight getting smoked!

Got you down on your knee pads! Sorry about the deke joke!

Tony Hawk:
Man, you should hit the buzzer 'cause it's time to change lines!

You put that joke in the top shelf of lame rhymes!

This ain't typical sports; I use centripetal force

While you prance around in 4-pound icy diaper shorts!

I try to watch you on TV, but I can't see the puck!

Hockey used to have guts, but now the teams Mighty Suck!

I taught kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do!

Put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes!

Wayne Gretzky:
Timeout! Let's talk about athletic achievements!

You and I have so many world records between us!

184! That's plenty of 'em,

And I've set 183 of 'em!

Undisputed, unrefuted! G-O-A-T!

You've been going downhill since Pro Skater 3!

(Ooh!) And I'm too far ahead for you to catch up!

For true sports fans, this was finished as soon as they heard the matchup!

Tony Hawk:
You're a pro on the ice, but a rookie when rappin'!

Now I see why the Rangers demoted this captain!

Wayne Gretzky:
Hold up, let me check the stat book,

You just missed 100% of the shots that you took!

I don't care if this bird gets the biggest air around

I'm a champion when it comes to putting Flyers underground!

You became a sellout in your retirement years!

Got milk, Hawk? I've got 4 cups for you right here!

Guess what putting a puck in the net's worth:

Double what you stack up in bucks, check my net worth!

Double the girth of your purse, check my net worth!

200K per goal, that's my net worth!

General

 * This is the sixth battle in which a significant section of a rapper's line(s) did not have subtitles, after John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, Doc Brown vs Doctor Who, Batman vs Sherlock Holmes, Deadpool vs Boba Fett, and Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible.
 * The two lines are, "And you ain't one, Wayne!", and the word "bruh".
 * This battle was first suggested by EpicLLOYD's improv coach, Liz Allen's son, Hank.
 * This is the third battle to not show the two parties side-by-side, after Moses vs Santa Claus, and Artists vs TMNT.
 * However, the two rappers were only shown side-by-side during the "Who won? Who's next? You decide!" sequence.
 * The iTunes cover art shows Wayne Gretzky considerably larger than Tony Hawk. However, in the alternate cover that serves as an annotation link during the credits of the battle and is used for the cover in other music sharing platforms such as SoundCloud, Gretzky is approximately the same size as Hawk.
 * This is the sixth battle overall in which both title rappers are currently alive.
 * However, this may be counted as the eighth overall if going by living during the time of release, as Kim Jong-il and Macho Man Randy Savage passed away after their battle and Muhammad Ali passed away after his battle was released.

Continuity

 * The logo on Gretzky's jersey reads "OILERB" instead of "OILERS," another instance of the ERB series name appearing on a character's outfit.
 * Hawk's helmet also says "ERB" on its logo, but only in the thumbnail of the video, the alternate cover, and in various shots.
 * During Gretzky's line, "And my hot wife, the only woman in the world for Wayne!", the scoreboard in the background projected a shape of a heart, indicating Gretzky's love for his wife in real life. This is a reference to things such as a kiss-cam that frequently appear on scoreboards at sports matches.

Errors

 * During the line, "This ain't typical sports; I use centripetal force," the subtitles misspell "ain't" as "aint".
 * During the line, "Now the teams mighty suck," someone's hand can be seen at the left of the screen for a brief moment.
 * During the line, "I taught kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do!", it reads, "I taught kids around the world that there's nothing you can't do!"
 * Nice Peter is credited for video editing twice in the description of the video.