User blog:SoothSaiyaman!/Dragon Age 2 vs Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion ft. Inquisition and Skyrim

new Elder Scrolls vs Anything I guess

I've been playing DA, I played through DA2 last week and now I'm going through Inquisition, and I felt like doing DA2 vs Oblivion transitioning into Inquisition vs Skyrim, and uh, I haven't finished Inquisition yet. So yay.

This was all written across the last like three hours I should have been either studying or sleeping

but i wasn't

drak's back and that's cool

nobody is going to read this blog and that's less cool

Battle!
Champion of Kirkwall:

Flight from the Blight plaguing Ferelden thrust me into the Free Marches

Free marches the prisoner duplicating Elder Scrolls last three starts, yes?

And even your greatest title you went on to recycle from Morrowind

I've thrown blackpower grenades that left Isles far more Shivering!

And then I slew the Qunari! Cut down a Dragon! Slaughtered mages left and right!

While you were hunting Nirnroot for some alcoholic to take a high!

Leave your bow holstered because you can't screw me with some duplicates

I can alter an Altmer! Kinda like when Zevran and I were intimate

But you don't have game! Chameleon up and you don't even have gameplay!

You'll see your Nine Divines being cleared away like Andraste!

So why don't you switch perspective to second party so you'll taste

My DX11 fist making waves through your poorly rendered face!

Hero of Kvatch:

Stop right there, criminal scum! Pay a fine for your filthy sentences!

You've never stepped in an Arena, your Origins won't impress in this

Plugging graphics six years later, the same consoles still loading your lipsync

Seems Bioware's production Mass Effect left you backdated, see who you're dissing

The living game of the year, resplendent in all these races and playstyles

Bragging like "You can romance all of this cast" unless you want to play a guy

And you're copping crappy DLC that packs more story padding than real expansion

Let's sit your Hightown two-story next to Sheogarath's Shivering mansion!

Trynna be all choice based, my freedom beats the fake control you're handing

Three years to decide which of two final boss fights! And then both happen

So let the viscount recant his slander of the templar's ruby madness

Septim sent the Amulet of Kings, you couldn't get a sentence from your Empress!

Inquisitor:

Let's take this back to Orlais, but split a hole through your arguments

How can a Skyrim stand with a rift in the Throat Paarthurnax staggers in?

So daggers in! I dare to be roguish when I whip about my words like Varric

And enchanting with the magic I used to craft my engaging world dramatic

And then, a Crusade! Uprooting the dark seeds of a furthered blight

Without needing the magic of dragons to put one down in the night!

And took part in a war with intrigue, plotting, combat and real tactics

More than throwing balls at people and yelling random crap like a maverick

So catch a fade! Relax, sitting forgotten, another three years passed

And your Switch release is going to see more play than your online crap

Bam! Let the character development hit you harder than a shaft from Bianca

Let's see your shouts win with your windpipe being crushed by the anchor.

Dovahkiin:

Geinmaar kren hin grah-zeymahzin! Turn spirits, crush Mer and burn wardens

Find solace in Solas? That will Fade too when the feim takes them.

And I think I can tell why EA hasn't set a date for DA4 yet

They're still trying to overtake my graphics from back in Twenty-Eleven!

When it comes to real RPGs, your game's so far from in the picture

You don't you want to touch my combat until you take a page from the Witcher

Didn't want a world where mining took time, thought smelting played harder

So you faked upgrades on your sequels, substantive as your two pieces of armour!

With your flirtatious dialogues you're oriented as a replay value goldmine

But my players never run out of quests, three thousand hour playtime

And I know you've built a rabid fanbase out of Tumblrina dreams, but see

I used to be an obscure franchise like you, then I took an arrow to the knee!

Outro:
wowo you can tell how rushed that was

Who won? Dragon Age The Elder Scrolls

The Elder Scrolls vs Anything, or any rap battle with Dragon Age characters, suggestions below please.