User blog:Iamthelegion/Loki vs Otzi

Ice. Another one of these Freestyle battle right here. That means my last four rap battles now have all been freestyle battles. Today, we have Loki Laufeyson, Marvel comics villain with some roots in Norse mythology as Trickster god, Aesir-Jotun hybrid and Thor's half-brother, going up against the Iceman found in post-glacial coniditions in the Otztal Mountains near Tyrol in Austria. The connection is an iceman purported as a European ancient vs a European ancient purported as an iceman. Shh I like it stop making fun of my connections.

Stofferex as Otzi (voice) and KGBronies as Otzi (video)

Iamthelegion as Loki (voice and video)

IDK who as Thor (video) and Pool as Thor (audio) (cameo)

Will Otzi finally survive a great battle? Or will the final trick be Loki pulling the crown of best rapper? Only one way to find out. Let's go:

Teh Battle:
Otzi:

Climbing down from the Ötztal, it's the ice cold OG

I shot two men down while your progenitors were babies

If you wanna surrender, K, cuz I'm in a class all my own

Quiver and bow or my quiver and bow'll put you in the Negative Zone

Looking at our rebirths, the timings are pretty Similaun.

Guess that makes me the Man to your Swamp Thing, huh.

Colder than the Alps, so best stay beyond my range

Or I'll overcome your enchantment fast as Stephen Strange.

Loki:

Well, well, well. I will credit you for your bravado.

But ask any other world-weary mountaineer, I craft wit like a deific Leonardo.

Cloth, coat and cloak, no dagger? All you are is over dressed.

And your sack of berries availed you naught in your end.

Twice Prince and one king, with a Jo-ton of Frost Giants in tow.

You? Plain trudging middle ager left all alone stopped by an arrow.

Certainly isn't Skyrim, being closer to the aorta than your knees...

Be reasonable. I'm five millennia old, you died in your forties!

Otzi:

So you're feeling Thor that you've brought Mjöld near?

Why don't you reinvent yourself for another film? Your comics could get a little mouldier.

I'm the old blood here and I'll be staying intact

Whilst the actual ice man will shatter with a shaft

Sticking out of your rear, gone numb for time spent on Thanos' lap

As the OG Otzi freezes out a Frost dwarf with a glacial rap

With your petty grievances, naivete, torturing then walking off with a scowl

You're just a jealous, prissy Joffrey Baratheon without claim to a crown.

Loki:

I bet you think you're clever. Best have some plans for your avenging.

Because I'm Joss Whedon out fragile corpses out ice pretending

It's the Laufeyson, I'm giant, this Eurotrash is fated to lose

You're about to copper it, I'll beat you with your own snowshoes

Weave together lyrics, your chances were the only illusion here

Liken me to my uncle, I'll stop a brute and embody fear

Best hope your bone structure has adapted to sprinting

For my sceptre wants a taste of caveman, I'm thinking

Otzi:

I'd like to axe you if you think I'm playing knife

I'd take you and your paradox, end all three lives

I spit so sick I've got Beau's lines, frigid runt

I'm sure to cover to Feldthurns in Asgardian blood

Thor:

I should smite thee.

Loki:

Oh brother, let me have my fun.

I'll arse-nick the win as I'm poisonous beyond a snake charm

This is smelter versus trickster, savage versus savage god

I bring a mite more than a mountain down when I'm on

Otzi:

Something to chew, Tom, I'm the summit of this rap game

How about you inspire another super team with the same name

Loki:

Insolent mortal! Quake before the backstabbing original!

I'll shatter your mountain as I rise and become king of all!

Outro:
Who won? Loki Otzi the Iceman

IDK what to do now.