User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/The Exorcism vs The Exorcist - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 4

When my timelessness expires and they lower me into the casket, please put this battle on my grave. Cause holy shit it took forever. Anyways, yay, Woody finally made a new battle. Booo, it's one nobody was expecting or really wanted to see in the first place. Well. Deal with it. Anyways, this battle WAS actually suggested by a couple users, but hey, big shout out to Amontgomery 'cause I think he suggested it first and I really liked the idea. Anyways, I spent long enough writing the damn battle that I don't feel like bullshitting my way through this narrative so here's the battle. It features the return of twelve year old A+ student, Regan MacNeil rapping against kind soul Emily Rose to see who's the better... girl? I'll be perfectly honest I have no idea. Anyways, enjoy. Tourney finale coming soon.

Beat


Emily Rose denoted by this color

Regan MacNeil denoted by this color

Introduction
 Announcer: 

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!



VS!



BEGIN!

Regan MacNeil: (0:30)
Hi Emily! Are you ready to battle with this entity?

Mess with me and you’ll… uh… I rap devilishly?

Um... go back to church and just stick to praying,

Cause you rap worse than… uh... oh, what am I saying?

Record scratch (0:40)

I’m not built for this kind of feud. I’m bound to fail

I’ve got no real beef with you. In fact, I actually love your nails

Though try green next time, it’ll contrast with how your eyes are grey

Oh by the way, did I ever say how nice your hair looks today?

Emily Rose: (0:53)
Huh. Well this is unexpected. Um… thank you!

Glad it turned out this way. Truth be told, I didn’t want to face you!

I wouldn’t want to diss you anyways, I-I’m not one for teasing

‘Cause I’ve heard you’ve felt sick lately, and… Regan?



Regan MacNeil: (1:05)
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Didn’t think it would be that easy, did you? This won’t end well!

You’re worth less than dirt on the cocks you’ll be sucking in hell!

I contrive fictional legends scarier than what your stories tell!

With a voice so annoying, no wonder everyone who knew you killed themselves!

You’re a pennyless empty bitch, so this battle you can’t afford, see,

Can’t wage war with me! You’re aren’t a hero in your own fucking story!

I’m colossal! This docile fossil is a mere obstacle for me to gobble!

I’m hostile and unlawful! Tearing through films and two novels!

Your pathetic narrative is so generic it’s embarrassing!

This is just the Beginning! Yet Regan’s beaten this weakened Heretic!

Pazuzu puts pigs in purgatory where they belong, faithless slime!

Oh, and you know how I said your hair looks good? Yeah? I LIED! ;-;

Emily Rose: (1:37)
Oh, this suffering is inhuman! Faced with further persecution,

So here I thought I’d made a friend, but it was naught but an illusion!

But you’ve pushed me past my limits, so now you’ll see real fear,

Someone alert this Poltergeist Poser… They’reeeee hereeee!



(grr AAAAAAAAH!)

This pathetic skeptic is gonna perish when I go hysteric!

But I won’t be facing homicide charges when I leave you split like your parents!

Through possession, I retain my beauty! you’re more ugly than you are spooky!

Don’t try to lose me, you puny goonie! Bitch, you’re no Scary Movie!

No Ring when you sing, just a fucked up sucker from the Grudge

‘Cause when I leave your head spinning, Regan’s gonna lose her lunch!

When my debut’s slew this rude shrew, you’re screwed, Pazuzu!

The truth hurts, you’re just a maggot-infested squirt whose story isn’t true!

Regan MacNeil: (2:11)
Your flows as rotten as your ratings while mine are hip and Fresh!

Awww, are these lines scarring you worse than you scar your own flesh?

Your lifestyle’s crooked and tilted, so go drown in your own guilt kid,

Else I’ll pluck these thorns and name a second time this rose has wilted!

Emily Rose: (2:22)
You think six metal devils will tremble for you, little girl?

You merely shocked a hospital, I frightened an entire world!

Disgusting human blood pumps through your veins and it is to my advantage!

So now I’ll feast on this feminine gremlin, because I’m absolutely famished!

(The background, which is currently a dead pitch black, lights up slightly to reveal a church in the background, with an elderly white Nun standing behind the two possessed girls. She steps forward to reveal herself.)

Amanda Krueger: (2:34)
A battle between two evildoers is a battle that no one’s won

Y’all are being puppeteered by spirits more hideous than my son

~So now I exorcise you, feeble spirits, leave this child you hath possessed,~

~From every incursion, legion, congregation and sect~

~So may the holy cross be my light, as we cast you two out from within!~

Your demons have been released, now I leave you to face your own sins

(As her words finish, smoke bellows out of both Regan and Emily's mouths, forming two dark figures. They step into the light and reveal themselves to be Belial and Pazuzu)

Pazuzu and Belial :
 (ROAR!)  ' Our schemes will leave treasonous heathens screaming! '

We’ve corrupted your minds!  WE’VE BEEN FEEDING ON YOU FREAKS WITH SHARP TEETH, AND 

 GIVE UP NOW AND WE MAY SPARE YOUR BEATINGS BEFORE YOU’RE EATEN 

‘Cause we’ve got the heat and flow to leave you two piggy’s drowning like Legion!

Your lack of faith has summoned this wraith, this disgrace can’t pull her own weight!

 LEAVE REGAN SHRIEKING, MORE DESPERATE THAN HER ACTRESS’S CAREER 

You’re malnourished and starving yourself but ''' I HOPE YOUR DESTRUCTION’S TO YOUR TASTE! '''

''' D O N ’ T I N T E R F E R E W I T H T H E S E D O M I N E E R S, T H E S E P U P P E T E E R S K N O W A L L Y O U R F E A R S ! '''

Regan MacNeil and Emily Rose :
Oh, these blood-curdling screeches no doubt mark the end of my journey,

But now we’re surely doomed! Oh, may the Lord take mercy!

It would take a miracle, and even then, we might not be saved!

Oh, you two, get a grip and be brave! Oh, um. Okay?

She’s right, I’m afraid, we aren’t slaves! Y o u r r e i g n o f t e r r o r e n d s h e r e !

P u p p e t e e r s ? N o t t o f e a r ! G e t o u t t a h e r e ‘ f o r e w e s h e d s o m e Devil Tears!

Belial’s hardly worthwhile, truth be told, now WE’RE taking control!

But not of Bagul’s ugly brother! He’s getting overwhelmed by a twelve-year-old!

B r i n g i n g t h e d o w n f a l l o f t w o o u t l a w s l i k e i t ’ s t h e i r s e c o n d A r m a g e d d o n ,

(Emily covers Regan's ears)

So why don’t you take your draco trouser snake and choke on your own venom!

Won’t be seeing you in Hell! To be lawlessly honest with these Worthless Men,

B a c k t o  H a d e s w i t h y o u b a b i e s ! In the Lord’s name we pray, Amen.

Outro


Who won? Emily Rose/Belial Regan MacNeil/Pazuzu

Who... uh... also won? Emily Rose/Regan MacNeil Pazuzu/Belial

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, I ACTUALLY GET TO DO A HINT EXPLANATION!

What's in the name? is the beginning of the quote that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet. Basically, rose = Emily Rose

The Bipper gif was a pretty basic reference. Dipper was possessed by Bill Cipher, Emily and Regan are possessed by their own demons

The Sinister Six picture was a reference to how Emily Rose is possessed by six different demons.

ye