User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 20: Chuck Norris vs Clint Eastwood

This is my 40th battle. It's a remake. Lovely, ain't it?

I'm pretty sure this is the last of my remakes, don't kill me. Anyways, here we go:

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

CLINT EASTWOOD!

VERSUS!

CHUCK NORRIS!

BEGIN!

Chuck Norris:

I’ll twist this spaghetti Western, you’re saucy, another pasty old coot,

My dick has more strength than your heart, it’s time God gave you the boot.

My political party is the Roundhouse, and I’ll surpass your ass in the votes,

These flows chew through more mortals than Jaws, you’re gonna need a bigger boat,

You’re at a tough point, just give up, unlike your name, I go Every Which Way but Lose,

This tart wants to be my target? Don’t even start it you fart, that’s the worst thing to do,

Your time as mayor wasn’t even exciting, all you did was legalize ice cream.

So go ahead; make my sundae. It’s the only thing you’d do that I’d take a liking.

You’re about to witness the ginger with business getting riches and bitches,

Teaching everyone who listens that this witless dipshit isn’t someone to sit with.

Why don’t you take off your mommy’s rug and throw away your little cigar,

Because I bet your mule’s ass that this grandpa won’t make it far.

Clint Eastwood:

Shit’s about to go down, between me and this God complex ballistic egotistic.

You’re not a legendary badass, you’re just another movie cast statistic.

I’ll take that hidden fist in your rug and slap this bitch in the mug,

Call me Westwood, because after this, I’m going to fashion this punk.

You despise the gay, but let your brother suck your dick for fame,

This Ranger’s gonna need a Walker when I hound this Wolf McQuade.

Quit dreaming, bucko. I’m about to get a Sidekick out of this.

Here’s a fact: You’re a fake, I’ll use your belts and treat you like a true bitch.

Finish you faster than Bruce Lee did, you’re conceited, I’ll go No Name on your ass.

Follow your Rule Six, because if you don’t, you’ll be pissed after this rap.

Your Chun Kuk Do makes me up, Chuck, your ego’s bile, let me say this through:

I don’t want your pathetic jokes, Chuck, I only want the truth.

Chuck Norris (bear form):

Oh, you want the truth? BITCH, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

This ugly Yosemite Sam’s about to find his Nerf pistol no use.

I’m untouchable, loveable, you’re crumpled,  time to remove this wrinkle from time,

By my power of the forest, Chuck Norris will floor this boorish man line by line,

This battle’s the Good, Bad, and Ugly, Clint, I’m feeling glad about how this turned out,

Because this tumbleweed’s on Heartbreak Ridge, and I’m booting the West down South!

Clint Eastwood:

This is a sick gag, and I’m not going to show this choking fool some mercy,

This Expendable’s gone Missing in Action, no amount of -Do thrown around can hurt me,

I’ll show you Magnum Force, I don’t Joe Kidd, I’m a force this Texan should reckon.

It’s about time this old man gave this man an a-list ass kicking lesson.

This B-List prick’s ego’s getting totaled, he’ll need a gym to lift the sorrow away,

Just like your acting, your verses were pathetic. You just made my day.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RA-

Oh, screw this.

Who won? Chuck Norris Clint Eastwood

Hint: Blurd