User blog:Hippie Rat/RIP Giant-ass world history rap battle - Why im canceling it and what's to come

Hey yo hi hello

So I've been talking about this giant-ass world history rap battle for like months now. I'm canceling it. Main reason: I lost the motivation to do so.

I guess I never had the motivation in the first place, hence why I mentioned I'd be doing it. It was so I had to do it. Like I was formally announcing so I would have it in my mind "okay now they're waiting for it, you can't cancel now". Well fuck it I'm canceling it.

I started writing the battle on February 28th, 2016 and have gotten 6.5 out of like 100+ verses written. That's abysmal. To put that in perspective, it took me like 7 months to write Mario vs Link.

And speaking of Mario vs Link, that shit sucked. Like seriously, those were the most thrown-together rushed lyrics I've ever written (okay not ever but still). I only still care about that battle because of the gimmick that I wrote a huge-ass battle like that. I would never go back and read it anymore because the writing is baaaaad.

And this battle was not good either. When I was writing it, I was throwing shit together that didn't stick and it was just not good at all. It was also super dated. I put Donald Trump references in. As if the battle was gonna be finished before the fucking election.

Whatever. It was sucking. And it's been affecting my other battles. I've been making battles so damn slowly recently because I've been intimidated of the idea of taking on the world history battle all at once so I've been subconsciously trying to avoid it. But now I don't need to avoid it because it's canceled.

Now I'm just trying to get back in the swing of things. So far I'm doing good at that. My writing has been increasing a bit in quality, as the non-Deadpool section of Joker vs Comedian and Spider-Man vs Hugh Hefner has been pretty well-received, and my rap battle reviews series appears to be pretty popular, making it up to the "popular blog posts" widget within the first two installments of it. Not to mention that series is pretty fun to write for.

I've also been doing guest stuff. That's actually pretty awesome. I was in a tourney. I was blown out of the water first round, but some people knew what my raps in that were doing: introducing myself to a community I'm not too well-involved in. I'm now set to guest in a couple upcoming battles: one by Legion, one by Flats. If anyone else happens to want to collab, you can just message me here on the wiki, or you can scour some of my previous message wall chains for my Skype info and stuff and message me there. Or whatever. I'm usually open for writing for anything.

So what can you expect in the future from me? Simon and Garfunkel vs Hall and Oates is being written. Musician vs musician had never been my strong point but I think this one's doing well without being boring and/or being nothing but song title puns. Legion and Flats battles like I said. The rap battle review series is continuing with the Animeme Rap Battle and a couple more ERBParodies to come, after which I'll try my hand at analyzing Dragon's rap battles as he had challenged me to (I want to warn you now, buddy, i won't go easy on you just because I know you'll be reading it, you'll have the same treatment Cam and Mancha have gotten so far) and probably one or two of Justin's battles, and one certain ERB that triggered me. Considering reviewing URBoF and a Mat4yo battle, although that's more of a maybe right now.

Anyway, world history battle was shit. Here are the lyrics I had written already, plus a list of the characters that were gonna rap, and no I don't care about the format. Fuck this battle right in its little place. I am not responsible for hospital bills when you receive chemotherapy treatments for the cancer that is this. Good night guys. See ya in the morning, hopefully with MLP vs Pokémon review finished. Maybe the next day. I dunno. Have a good day.

Announcer:

Epic Rap Battle of History. Gilgamesh vs Hammurabi! Begin!

Gilgamesh:

"Epic" is damn right; face the great Mesopotamian ruler;

Who walled off Uruk; like I'm the Trump of the Rivers.

Can fight your cyphers and codes and the rest of your leges,

I got you trapped in a net, you can call it Gilgamesh.

I ruled the land for a hundred and twenty six years,

You caused the death of a ton of your peers,

For petty crimes you paid unjust injure, it should be more fitter,

So come at me, son, but good luck with those fingers.

Hammurabi:

You heard of my work but need a lesson in that:

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a rap for a rap.

Trump of the Rivers? I made Babylon great again,

I Hamm the law, spit punishments like Judge Dredd.

Think your rhymes' sick? This kinsman heals. Amorite dawg,

Hamm's going ham and shortening your life like the flood.

It can't be preserved, your punishment is chiseled in inscription,

It's written in the stone you're about to be executed with.

Ashurbanipal:

I'm about to kick your Ass-yria, it's the last good king in this bitch,

Whip and chain my enemies, put you in the doghouse, make y'all my bitch.

Got my eye on the rule: Sauron. Ripping Hammie's eye out: Sargon.

Fucking up these pussies like the lions I prey on.

Nebuchadnezzar II:

I'm an ancient wonder, so gaze upon,

The golden idol of Babylon,

The big bad Bakhat Nasar tore down the temple to make way for the garden,

Spittin' fiery furnace, ask Dan, being so cool ain't hard, man.

Ramesses II:

Oh, you poor, messy, Mesopotamian nations,

Depressed over death unlike my Egyptian citizens.

I'm a god, so bow down, you fake ancient greats,

And take a hieroglyphic 'B' in your semi-demigod waist.

We invented paper so hope you're taking notes,

Take your wheat and barley, grow melons and pumpkins on top of those.

Son of Amun Ra, son of a bitch these zigs get pissed on off my pyramids,

And if thy shall know how great am I, thou shall all suck it.

Moses:

La-da-da-da-dahh, it's the motherfucking M-O-S-E-S, (Moses! You knows this!)

La-da-da-da-dahh, you know I'm mobbing with the chosen Judaists. (That's your slave trade, diss track, yo.)

Nigga I'mma letcha know your place against the dopeness of Exodus,

Bitch you drownin' in my Red flow, ho don't drop it like Moses.

I spoke with the real man up stairs, heard him sayin',

Your status is a scam to have buildin's made for you to die in.

La-da-da-da-dahh, we built it so we dance on your grave, (Dance on your grave! Tomb raidin'!)

La-da-da-da-dahh, let my people go, that's a "no" on the slave. (Let 'em go man! Yo!)

Cyrus the Great:

Woah, so Beastie Boy here wants up 'gainst the King of Persia,

King of Babylon, Sumer, Akkad, I'm the King of All! Shahanshah!

I got no hate against a race, but I'll damn sure win one,

And send the Jews back to the holy land they came from.

While Ham's cutting hands off over a fistfight,

....I'm getting human rights right.

Xerxes: Leonidas: Alexander the Great: Zoroaster: Confucius: Lao Tzu: Qin Shihuangdi: Liu Bang: Han Wudi: Ban Zhao: Wang Mang: Chandragupta Maurya: Ashoka Maurya: Chandra Gupta: Jina: Ashoka: Solon: Pericles: Sappho: Socrates: Plato: Epicurus: Pyrrho: Cicero: Romulus & Remus: Gaius Marius: Julius Caesar: Augustus: Spartacus: Jesus Christ: Zhang Qian: Gregory the Wonderworker: Mani: Diocletian: Constantine: Attila the Hun: Muhammad: Abu Bakr: Harun al-Rashid: Yang Jian: Tang Taizong: Song Taizu: Zhu Xi: Harsha: Shankara: Ramanuja: Guru Kabir: Justinian: Charlemagne: William Wallace: Leif Erikson: Pope Gregory I: St. Basil: St. Benedict: St. Scholastica: Genghis Khan: Kublai Khan: Marco Polo: Osman: Mehmed II: Sundiata: Mansa Musa: Otto I: Frederick Barbarossa: Hugh Capet: Duke William of Normandy: Eleanor of Aquitaine: St. Thomas Aquinas: Pope Urban II: Richard the Lionheart: Saladin: Ibn Battuta: Leonardo da Vinci: Zheng He: Christopher Columbus: Martin Luther: Louis XIV: Nicolas Copernicus: Isaac Newton: John Locke: Adam Smith: Hernan Cortés: Montezuma: Francisco Pizarro: James Cook: Vasco da Gama: Kangxi: Qianlong: Matteo Ricci: Tokugawa Ieyasu: Osman Bey: Mehmed the Conqueror: Suleyman the Magnificent: Shah Ismail: Shah Abbas the Great: Babur: Akbar: Aurangzeb: Piri Reis: George Washington: Napoleon Bonaparte: Toussaint Louverture: Simon Bolivar: Pancho Villa: Emperor Pedro I: Edmund Burke: John Stuart Mill: Mary Wollstonecraft: Cavour: Garibaldi: Otto von Bismarck: James Watt: Eli Whitney: Henry Ford: Karl Marx: Nicholas II: Vladimir Lenin: David Livingstone: Charles Darwin: Ram Mohan Roy: Kaiser Wilhelm II: Woodrow Wilson: Mustafa Kemal Atatürk: Albert Einstein: Pablo Picasso: Al Capone: John M. Keynes: Adolf Hitler: Joseph Stalin: Gandhi: Mao Zedong: Fidel Castro: Nikita Krushchev: John F. Kennedy: Ho Chi Minh: Richard Nixon:

Nelson Mandela:

Like Rosa Parks, I can't stand these white-ass raps.

Mandela's hella pissed at this, ...

....I hit hard like rugby, Invictus.

See if Polynesia can hack up better team chants with a haka,

I ended segregation, this time for Africa!

Boris Yeltsin: Bill Gates: Ronald McDonald:

Eminem:

Now will the real Spartacus please stand up?

Man, dela, you were a better lyricist in prison,

...'Cause I'm the best emcee in all of history.

Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History!