User blog:ERBofSmoshery/Bloody Mary vs Macbeth - Epic Rap Battles of History: Season 2 Episode 7

Former Queen of England nicknamed "Bloody Mary", Mary I, and Shakespearean Scottish noble, Macbeth, rap against each other to see which murderous leader commonly associated with blood and superstition involving the speaking of their name is better

Cast
Robyn Lynne Norris as Mary I and Bloody Mary

EpicLLOYD as Macbeth

Dante Cimadamore, Nice Peter, and Ryan Moulton as Macbeth's army (cameo)

Josie Ahlquist as Lady Macbeth (cameo)

Ashlyn McIntyre, Sulai Lopez, and Mary Doodles as the Three Witches (cameos)

Lyrics=

Mary I:
Enter England's first queen regnant to face a faux foe toe-to-toe

And exit he who flows so slow he drags like men in Shakespeare shows

Who strut and fret but time forgets when Mary steps to upstage the fight!

'Cause when there's a tragedy to fulfill, I fit the Bill when I play-wright!

Cue the Tudor! A legend so eminent! It's evident your tales aren't relevant!

You just ripped the story of Braveheart and then added a speech impediment!

Now it's a rough night, just ask Lennox! I spit the fire your stars keep hid!

So march off back to Birnam Wood and I'll lop your block like Treebeard did!

(Ah!) And your victory's more of a freakish event than the owl and tow'ring falcon!

While your wife was usurping the serpent, you went balking like a Graymalkin!

Now relieve me from your pitiful breath and pay the soldier's debt!

I'll burn out any protesting Protestants; take heed! Lay on, Macbeth!

Macbeth:
Fetch mine brandished steel to unseam a queen in a fray as quick as Calais!

For thy stage is turned to the riot of Astor Place when the Scottish Play!

Fair or foul, the bowels of battle art nigh, so raise thy vanquish'd palms!

Avaunt! This hardy soldier cometh armed with furbished arms at Glamis!

I'll confound a wretched Candyman if thou dost but speak mine name

Then drown thy fame in scarlet stains like it's the years of thy rainy reign!

So let it come down! O, what toil and trouble couldst sicken such thick blood?

Thy heart is clothed in fitful fever like thy sore, afflicted childhood!

All's too weak for brave Macbeth, my kerns ne'er cease to soften the blow!

For mine literature's most wondrous thou shouldst call it a MacBook Pro!

Drink thee down like a Bloody Mary! Anon, come face me, Bloody Mary!

And ere this broil doth end, the hags shalt bid who ends up Bloody, Mary!

[Mary I disappears and reappears as Bloody Mary in a mirror behind Macbeth]

Bloody Mary:
(Ahhh!) Release me from these bounds and let me set foot in this strife

With bloody knives to guide this guilty life to the skull of his grieving wife!

Shatter a prattler like my glass, I state your fate's been conjured, Sirrah!

Now I'm free to see your ass couldn't handle a candle to me in the mirror!

Rule over Scots like Mary Stuart and wrap any rapper in doom's dark blanket!

Depths of death to drown you out, I'll haunt you harder than Banquo's banquet!

You're dis-seated with deceit, and a future feud has been foretold

With gravest screams in Colmekill as I curdle the blood of your lifeless soul!

Macbeth:
(Ahhh!) Out, out of my sight, brief candle! Begone foul, heat-oppressèd swine!

If thou wert clean enough to spit on, with blue blood wine I'd Dunc-an' dine!

'Tis the childhood eye that fears thee, thou shalt haunt these floors no more!

You're breeched with gore 'fore you come knocking at my Black Gates of Cawdor!

My voice is in my sword; I break out keen when I front a solilo-queen!

For like these bodements show henceforth, no bloody child shall harm my scheme!

So stand thy watch, retract thyself to glass! For lo, mine legions glister!

First to rise? E'en in demise, thy crown is buried beneath thy sister!

Like Queen Anne's revenge, I'll drop thy reign then see what Mary's Worth!

Two false pregnancies art next in heir to thy mother's accounts of childbirth!

Face my throne and hell shalt see thou art an imposter to true fear!

The prophets state thy stakes hath risen, but 'tis thee who hast been seer-ed! Rap Meanings=

[Note: Archaic words/phrases can be found in red, with their meaning located in yellow underneath]

Mary I:
Enter England's first queen regnant to face a faux foe toe-to-toe

("Enter _____" is a stage direction often used in Shakespeare's time to indicate the entrance of a character onto the stage. Mary I was the first queen regnant, or female monarch who reigns in her own right, of England. Here, Mary shows her entrance onstage to battle Macbeth face-to-face)

And exit he who flows so slow he drags like men in Shakespeare shows

("Exit _____" is also a stage direction, used to indicate the departure of a character from the stage. In Shakespeare's time, women roles were played by men dressed up as women, commonly referred to as drag. Mary changes the meaning of the word and says that Macbeth should exit the stage now due to his flow being so slow that he drags, or flows tediously, just like men "drag" when they act in Shakespeare's shows)

Who strut and fret but time forgets when Mary steps to upstage this fight!

(This references the quote from Macbeth, "...a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more". Mary links back to Shakespeare's actors and says that Macbeth, and his play's actors, will all soon be forgotten about after she ends up being superior in this fight. Upstaged is a term when an actor is eclipsed by another (presumably better) actor)

 ' Cause when there's a tragedy to fulfill, I fit the Bill when I play-wright!

(Macbeth is one of Shakespeare's most famous tragedy plays. To fit the bill means to be suitable for a particular purpose, but "Bill" is also a play on the shortened version of Shakespeare's first name. Mary says that when somebody wants to achieve a real tragedy they should call her to achieve it for them, hinting at Macbeth's death in this rap battle. Play-wright is a pun on the word "playwright", as Shakespeare is a playwright, but is also a pun on the words "play right", saying that she is fit to fulfill a tragedy when she makes the best of her opportunities)

'''Cue the Tudor! A legend so eminent! It's evident your tales aren't relevant!'''

(A theatrical cue is the trigger for an action to be carried out at a specific time. Mary I's full name was Mary Tudor, but she also lived during the Tudor period of 1485 and 1603. Mary I is still very popular today due to her sobriquet, Bloody Mary, becoming a famous folklore legend, while Macbeth's story isn't really relevant in modern society)

You just ripped the story of Braveheart and then added a speech impediment!

(Macbeth's story shares a vast number of similarities with the life of Scottish warrior, William Wallace, who inspired the 1995 film, Braveheart. Mary claims that Macbeth's play simply copied Wallace's life and added a speech impediment, referring to Shakespeare's use of Early Modern English in his works, which is considered very difficult to understand)

'''Now it's a rough night, just ask Lennox! I spit the fire your stars keep hid!'''

(This references the scene in Macbeth where Lennox describes the terrible night which followed the former King Duncan's death, and also the Macbeth quote, "Stars, hide your fires; let not light see my black and deep desires". Mary says that her raps will cause extremely rough nights for Macbeth)

So march off back to Birnam Wood and I'll lop your block like Treebeard did!

(Towards the ending of Macbeth, Malcom and his army use the branches of the trees of Birnam Wood to disguise themselves and march up to Macbeth's castle, where Macduff, one of the soldiers, later decapitates Macbeth. Treebeard is an ancient tree-like being from J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings who Mary compares to Macduff. The word lop means to cut off a branch or limb from the main body of a tree, which is used to say that Mary will chop Macbeth's head off, but also relates to the trees mentioned previously)

(Ah!) And your victory's more of a freakish event than the owl and tow'ring falcon!

(After Macbeth kills King Duncan, a number of freakish events occur including the death of a large falcon (who is described as "tow'ring in her pride of place") by the talons of a mouse-hunting owl. Mary says that Macbeth's victory in this battle will be even more of an unnatural event than the story of the owl and the falcon)

While your wife was usurping the serpent, you went balking like a Graymalkin!

(This references the quote from Macbeth, "Look like th' innocent flower, but be the serpent under't". Lady Macbeth, Macbeth's wife, went crazy for power and pressured Macbeth into killing King Duncan, acting against the usual mannerisms that were given to the females of her time. Usurping is a term meaning to take power by force, balking is a term meaning to hesitate or be unwilling to accept an idea, and Graymalkin is one of the Witches' familiars, taking the form of a cat. Mary makes fun of Macbeth by saying that his wife is the one with all the power, while Macbeth is simply a "pussy", or weak and cowardly, like Graymalkin, who is literally a pussy, or a cat)

Now relieve me from your pitiful breath and pay the soldier's debt !

Pay the soldier's debt: Die in battle

(Mary wishes that Macbeth would just die in this battle like a true soldier)

'''I'll burn out any protesting Protestants; take heed! Lay on, Macbeth!'''

(Mary was known for the burning of over 300 Protestants at the stake, and Macbeth is generally considered as a Protestant play. Mary says that she will burn Macbeth, both literally and lyrically, like any other Protestant who goes to challenge her. She then tells Macbeth to pay attention and references the quote, "Lay on, Macduff!", from the final battle between Macduff and Macbeth, which basically means, "Go for it, Macduff!")

Macbeth:
Fetch mine brandished steel to unseam a queen in a fray as quick as Calais!

Brandished steel: Drawn sword

Unseam: Cut open

(In 1558, Mary ruled over England in an unsuccessful war against France which led to the loss of Calais, England's last possession in France, a huge blow for Mary's reign and England as a whole. Macbeth tells his men to fetch his sword so he can cut open Mary in this battle like the loss of Calais "cut her open", or upset her and damaged her popularity greatly. This is also a slight reference to Mary I's quote during her final illness, "When I am dead and opened, you shall find Calais lying in my heart")

For thy stage is turned to the riot of Astor Place when the Scottish Play!

(The Astor Place Riot was a huge riot in Manhattan, 1849, caused by a dispute between Edwin Forrest, one of the best-known American actors of that time, and William Charles Macready, a similarly notable English actor, who were arguing about whose performance of Macbeth was better. The Scottish Play is a euphemism for Macbeth. Macbeth says that when the Scottish come to war, or play, Mary and her stage will end up more damaged and destroyed than the aftermath of the riot)

Fair or foul, the bowels of battle art nigh, so raise thy vanquish'd palms!

(This is a reference to the famous Macbeth quote, "Fair is foul and foul is fair". By fair means or foul is a phrase meaning to achieve someone by any means necessary, even if the method is not honest or fair. "The bowels of _____" is a popular Shakespeare phrase meaning the deepest inner parts of something. Macbeth says that, whether it be fair or not, the deepest and most dangerous parts of battle are near, so Mary should simply surrender now)

''' Avaunt ! This hardy soldier cometh armed with furbished arms at Glamis!'''

Avaunt: Go!

Hardy soldier: Brave soldier

Furbished arms: Freshly cleaned weapons

(At the beginning of Macbeth, Macbeth becomes the Thane of Glamis, a village in Scotland. Macbeth says that Mary should leave when facing a brave soldier like him, as he is fully armed with freshly cleaned weapons to beat her)

I'll confound a wretched Candyman if thou dost but speak mine name

Confound: Overthrow

(The Candyman is a villain from the 1992 film of the same name who is based entirely off of Bloody Mary, the folklore legend of the ghost of Mary I who is said to appear when a person lights a candle and chants her name three times into a mirror in a dark room. According to a theatrical superstition, saying the name "Macbeth" inside a theatre will cause disaster. Macbeth says that he could beat Mary if she simply said his name)

Then drown thy fame in scarlet stains like it's the years of thy rainy reign!

(During the reign of Mary I, England suffered prolonged periods of torrential rain which were seen as the "greatest rains and floods that ever were seen in England". Macbeth says he will drown Mary's fame in blood-stained water like the floods in her rain, which also refers to the fact that Mary's reign as queen has been drowned out by her infamous killings and her sobriquet, Bloody Mary. This is also a reference to the Macbeth quote, "No, instead my hands will stain the seas scarlet")

'''So let it come down! O, what toil and trouble couldst sicken such thick blood?'''

(This is a reference to three Macbeth quotes: "Let it come down" (referring to the aforementioned rain and also the battle), "Double, double toil and trouble", and also "Make thick my blood". During her reign, Mary was frequently ill with headaches and fever. Macbeth asks what kind of childhood trouble could make such a thick-blooded, or cold-hearted, person as sick as her)

Thy heart is clothed in fitful fever like thy sore, afflicted childhood!

Fitful fever: Fever that troubles you on and off

Sore: Bitter, painful

(During her childhood, Mary was treated very badly by her father, King Henry VIII, being forbidden from seeing her mother and much more. Macbeth says that Mary's illness was as feverish as her childhood treatment was)

All's too weak for brave Macbeth, my kerns ne'er cease to soften the blow!

Kerns: Lightly armed foot soldiers

(Macbeth claims that Mary's battle tactics are too weak for him and his army, as they never stop to soften their attacks. This is a reference to the Macbeth quote, "All's too weak for brave Macbeth")

For mine literature's most wondrous thou shouldst call it a MacBook Pro!

(The MacBook Pro is a line of Macintosh portable computers made by Apple Inc. Macbeth splits the name of the computer into three words to explain how his story is wondrous: 1) "Mac" - Many Scottish surnames begin in "Mac" or "Mc", including Macbeth's, 2) "Book" - Referring to Macbeth's literary works, and 3) "Pro" - Referring to how Macbeth's story is professional)

'''Drink thee down like a Bloody Mary! Anon, come face me, Bloody Mary!'''

Anon: Now, at once

(A Bloody Mary is a type of cocktail containing vodka, tomato juice, and combinations of other spices and flavourings. Macbeth says he will "drink" Mary down like a cocktail before calling on her ghost form, Bloody Mary, to challenge him)

And ere this broil doth end, the hags shalt bid who ends up Bloody, Mary!

Ere: Before

Broil: Battle

Bid: Predict

(The Three Witches are major characters in Macbeth who show Macbeth his future through their predictions. In order to summon Bloody Mary, the speaker has to chant her name three times while standing in front of a mirror in a dark room with a lit candle. Macbeth finishes off the chant by saying the Witches will predict that Mary will end up defeated and covered in blood before the battle even finishes)

[Mary I disappears and reappears as Bloody Mary in a mirror behind Macbeth]

Bloody Mary:
(Ahhh!) Release me from these bounds and let me set foot in this strife

(Bloody Mary is always seen as a vision in a mirror, usually in a bathroom. Mary wishes to be set free from the mirror that she is trapped in so she can face Macbeth personally)

With bloody knives to guide this guilty life to the skull of his grieving wife!

(One famous scene in Macbeth features a bloody dagger which leads Macbeth to the King Duncan before he murders him. Lady Macbeth forced Macbeth to kill Duncan, but eventually became paranoid with guilt and committed suicide. The Bloody Mary ritual supposedly let young women catch a view of their future husband's face, but there was also a chance that they would see a skull, indicating that they were destined to die before marriage. Mary says she will summon a bloody knife to guide Macbeth to the body of Lady Macbeth so he can see what he turned her into)

Shatter a prattler like my glass, I state your fate's been conjured, Sirrah !

Sirrah: Used to refer to a man or boy of lower status

(Mary says she will shatter any foolish talkers like Macbeth like the glass of her mirror when she breaks free. Bloody Mary is a folklore legend who, when conjured, is believed to reveal the future of the person who called upon her. Mary tells Macbeth that his fate is already known to her)

Now I'm free to see your ass couldn't handle a candle to me in the mirror!

(When someone can't hold a candle to somebody or something else, it means they are distinctly inferior to the person or thing stated. Part of the summoning process of Bloody Mary involves a person holding a candle to a mirror in a dark room. Mary says that now she is free from her mirror, she can finally see that Macbeth couldn't even hold a candle to her mirror in order to summon her)

Rule over Scots like Mary Stuart and wrap any rapper in doom's dark blanket!

(Mary Stuart was a former queen of Scotland, also known as Mary, Queen of Scots and Mary I of Scotland. Mary says she will rule over any Macbeth and the other Scots like she is their queen, before wrapping anyone who challenges her in a "blanket" of death. This references the quote from Macbeth, "Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark")

Depths of death to drown you out, I'll haunt you harder than Banquo's banquet!

(After sending murderers to kill his former ally, Banquo, Macbeth attended a banquet where he was haunted by the ghost of Banquo. Mary says she will drown Macbeth in death and haunt him more than Banquo did)

You're dis-seated with deceit, and a future feud has been foretold

Dis-seated: Removed from the throne

(Macbeth was eventually killed by Macduff after he suspected him of regicide. Mary states that another future battle is destined to happen...)

With gravest screams in Colmekill as I curdle the blood of your lifeless soul!

Colmekill: Island where Scottish kings are buried

(Mary says that she will make the ghost of Macbeth's dead body scream in its burial place as she fills his lifeless soul with horror and fear)

Macbeth:
'''(Ahhh!) Out, out of my sight, brief candle! Begone foul, heat-oppressèd swine !'''

Heat-oppressèd: Fevered

Swine: Pig

(This references the Macbeth quote, "Out, out, brief candle!", and popular Shakespeare phrase, "Out of my sight!" Macbeth tells the candle to extinguish so he doesn't have to look upon Mary any longer)

If thou wert clean enough to spit on, with blue blood wine I'd Dunc-an' dine!

(This references a quote from Shakespeare's Timon of Athens, "Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!" Macbeth says that Mary isn't even clean enough for him to spit on, but if she was, he would dine with her blue blood, or royal blood, as his wine. This also references the character, King Duncan, and how he was invited to dine with Macbeth before Macbeth murdered him. Duncan is also a pun on "dunk and...", meaning Macbeth would dunk his food in Mary's blood, but also "dunk" on Mary)

 ' Tis the childhood eye that fears thee, thou shalt haunt these floors no more!

The eye of childhood that fears: "Scary" pictures that only children would fear

(Bloody Mary is a folklore legend often explored into by children. Macbeth states that only children fear her, and she will not haunt his castle anymore)

You're breeched with gore 'fore you come knocking at my Black Gates of Cawdor!

Breeched with gore: Covered in blood

(One famous scene in Macbeth is where a drunk porter is seen as the doorkeeper of Macbeth's castle, responding to a constant knocking at the gates. Macbeth says that Mary would be covered in blood before she even reaches the gates of his castle. "Black Gates of Cawdor" is a pun on the famous Lord of the Rings location, the Black Gate of Mordor, as Macbeth is the Thane of Cawdor, a village in Scotland)

My voice is in my sword; I break out keen when I front a solilo-queen!

(This references the Macbeth quote, "I have no words. My voice is in my sword", meaning his sword will "talk" for him. A soliloquy is an act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself, especially by a character in a play, but this is also a pun on the word "queen". Macbeth says that due to his voice being in his sword, his words will be sharp when he speaks his soliloquy, but it also means that he is sharp when he battles Mary, a queen)

For like these bodements show henceforth, no bloody child shall harm my scheme!

Bodements: Predictions

(In the play, Macbeth calls upon the Three Witches to show him their prophecies. One of the prophecies shows an apparition in the form of a bloody child saying, "No man born of woman shall harm Macbeth". Macbeth says that Mary, a bloody apparition like the child that the Witches showed him, shall not harm his schemes in the battle)

'''So stand thy watch, retract thyself to glass! For lo, mine legions glister!'''

Stand your watch: Keep your guard

Legions: Armies

(Macbeth tells Bloody Mary to keep her guard up and return to her mirror for safety because his army is always prepared with shiny weapons and armour. This references the Macbeth quote, "As I did stand my watch upon the hill, I look'd toward Birnam, and anon, methought, the wood began to move".)

'''First to rise? E'en in demise, thy crown is buried beneath thy sister!'''

(Elizabeth I, Mary I's half-sister, is considered as one of England's greatest monarchs, if not the greatest. When Mary died, Elizabeth's body was eventually stored in the same tomb as Mary, on top of her body. Macbeth says that Mary is buried beneath Elizabeth's popularity - despite being the first queen regnant of England - but is also literally buried underneath her)

Like Queen Anne's revenge, I'll drop thy reign then see what Mary's Worth!

(When Henry VIII divorced Mary's mother, Catherine of Aragon, and married Anne Boleyn, Mary was deemed illegitimate, styled "The Lady Mary" rather than Princess, and her place in the line of succession was transferred to Elizabeth. Mary Worth is one of the many other names for Bloody Mary. Macbeth says he will end Mary's reign like Anne did - although it was eventually restored - and then see what Mary is worth. This is also a reference to the ship of the famous pirate, Blackbeard, Queen Anne's Revenge)

Two false pregnancies art next in heir to thy mother's accounts of childbirth!

(Catherine of Aragon had four pregnancies which all resulted in stillborn sons and daughters, Mary was the only child to survive infancy. Later in her life, Mary herself suffered two falce pregnancies after frequently falling ill with fever. Macbeth says that Mary's falce pregnancies are following in the steps of her mother's stillbirths, or are "next in heir")

Face my throne and hell shalt see thou art an imposter to true fear !

Imposter to true fear: Nothing compared to real fear

(When he becomes king, Macbeth's soldiers are all fearful of him, meaning he rules over people with fear. Macbeth tells Mary that when she sees how he reigns, the depths of hell will reveal how Macbeth is far more scary than the ghost of Mary is)

The prophets state thy stakes hath risen, but 'tis thee who hast been seer-ed!

(When the stakes are high, it means something is very high-risk or dangerous, though it also refers to Mary's burning of over 300 Protestants at the stake. Macbeth says that the Witches have predicted the rising of Mary's stakes in this battle, though it is her who has been burned, or seer-ed, a pun on the word "seer", a person who supposedly sees the future through supernatural insight, like the Three Witches)

Poll
Who won? Mary I/Bloody Mary Macbeth