User blog:Gliscor Fan/Rap Battles of Historical Bullshit: King Kamehameha vs Moctezuma

This is a tale of two kings who set out to expand their territory. However, one died loved and worshipped while the other died a painful death.

Intro
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORICAL BULLSHIT

KING KAMEHAMEHA

VERSUS

MOCTEZUMA

BEGIN!

The Battle
King Kamehameha:

Now that I’m here, allow me to make a proposal

I know that you fear the return of Quetzalcoatl

You may have reached a nation to maximum size,

but as we should know, you didn’t come out alive

I’ll prepare for attack, with my 960 war canoes

Against a man who frowns to a king like a fool

You’ll never find my body, inside a volcano, it’s hidden

and just like your civilization, this battle is finished

Moctezuma:

This comes from a man who believes in godly mana

When your name is more widely known for Ki in Japan, ya?

You say you love your enemy, yet you pushed them off a cliff

The sacrificed their leader as if he was a mere gift

Your name is longer than your own reign last

Running away from poison, when drinking it was probably best

Ruler of the island, with 11 different wives

At least my predecessor knew his harem was right

King Kamehameha:

Ah yes, you were a great king, that’s why the Spaniards captured you

In your own house as well, for the spaniards security, too!

And when you had told Cortez to fight Pánfilo de Narváez

All you actually did was make their asses more mad!

You’re messing with Kalani Paiʻea Wohi o Kaleikini Kealiʻikui

Kamehameha o ʻIolani i Kaiwikapu kauʻi Ka Liholiho Kūnuiākea

It must be hard to be beaten with these words I’ve told

Since you’re the one king who’s died from sticks and stones

Moctezuma:

Those raps were less terrifying than the Olowalu Massacre

Even in my death, I cannot be stopped by a challenger

You unified the islands, but at the cost of lives

I hope Davis realized it wasn’t him who was meant to die

Man, you look like Black Elvis with bad war tactics, So Maybe

You should let every elderly person, woman, and child lie by the roadside in safety

Nobody knows where you were buried, but I know how they ended your battle

You died from the Jawline, call it the Jaw with the Splintered Paddle.

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

DON'T DECIDE!

RAP BATTLES OF HISTORICAL BULLSHIT!

Poll
Who won? King Kamehameha Moctezuma