User blog:Joeaikman/Rap Battles of Thrones - Book I Chapter II - Aegon the Conqueror

'''Written by User:Joeaikman and User:BreZ. If you read on you risk spoilers for both the Game of Thrones TV show and A Song of Ice and Fire book series. You have been warned'''

Aegon was sat astride his dragon, Balerion, as he soared through the sky, his shimmering silver hair trailing behind him as the wind pulled at his body. On either side of him flew his sisters, Visenya and Rhaenys, and down below his friend Orys Baratheon was preparing an army for the battle that was coming.

He set his dragon down as they reached the large armed host that had landed on the shores of Westeros. "This is your last chance" Aegon called to their leader "leave now and I will spare your life"

The other man stepped forward. "I'd like to see you try" he smirked and the two behind a stare off

AEGON THE CONQUEROR

"I won't lose" Aegon whispered

VS

"We will see about that, you Targaryen wimp"

WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR!!!!

BEGIN

You force will face more than a storm when my dragons come forth

Gore your hordes with my sisters if you step foot within my fort

You'd Harry the North? I was generous, ended menace with my cleverness

Made my enemies envious and did generate general reverence and preference

Riding front on Balerion, I inspire true Dread within my foes

Especially an overgrown Norman with Explosive Bowel Syndrome

I spit harder than Hadrada, this fly King is Landing disses

On this shipless, witless, dickless opponent to God's Son's wishes

I'll burn you like fields make you yield to my ambition

Started with a Painted Table, ended with me uniting a Kingdom

Slander my wives, risk my anger and I'll go hunting for your son

Then you'll fully tussle with my Tullys, best get ready to River-run

I've got to Hand it to you and Confess, your conquests were quite impressive

Until you realise that the work was done by Visenya, Orys and Rhaenys

Your countries war torn, so go ahead and toot your little dragon horn

Because you can't conquer me like you couldn't conquer Dorne

I'm the Doom of a Valyrian, end any Targaryen's needless killing

Torching cities in the south and beating all the usurper Kings

So Red Keep it up, when I break your shield wall you'll fall

And kneel under the thrall of the one king who rules all

All this lyrical joust has proved is that I'm too Strong for you

Melt your Ice cold heart with Fire burns in this song for you

I lethally lead my loyal legions to forge my legendary legacy

Try to step to me and I'll ensure that your funeral ends messily

With the Blackwater flow and Iron Will I'll seize your throne

Because when I spit Wildfire Burns it'll make your towers glow

I'll make sure your mummers line is ended when the sun does set

Execute my killer rhymes like I chop off French heads at the Neck

Slept with no one 'cept your sisters, the septons saw you as villainous

So when your son rose to the throne, that's when the Faith got Militant

Yet you're still infamous for wistfulness, you hope that you can out rap this

I'll shoot your lines down from the sky like you're riding on Meraxes

My archers have the ardour to go harder from White Harbour to the Arbor

Roast you in your armour, you've had a stroke of stupidity, grandfather

You're Stony, and for Shore, will never rule beloved by your people

When they think you're evil, not regal, but deceitful and a weasel

When this King's Guard is down, I'll Pounce and send him to Hell

Followed after by his lapdogs, Houses Stark, Arryn, Tully and Tyrell

One wife committed adultery, the other was obsessed with alchemy

And when I kill you all on your hills, I'll depict your defeat in my tapestry

Who won? Aegon the Conqueror William the Conqueror