Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky/Rap Meanings

Tony Hawk:
I can skate better than this church-boy turd can!

Not cash money, it's just Wayne vs Birdman!

You got your whole league to protect and adore you,

(Gretzky was one of the most well-known players in the National Hockey League. To commemerate him, each team in the NHL has retired his famous number 99.)

So which goon's gonna take this battle for you?

(In hockey, a "goon" or "enforcer" is someone who usually is the tough guy that sticks up for his teams and gets into more fights rather than scoring.)

(Ooh!) I'm the dude who blew up extreme sports!

(In 1995, Hawk competed in the first X Games, an annual sports event which focuses on extreme sports. He soon became one of the best-known skateboarders in the world.)

That nose looks like you've seen some extreme snorts!

(Hawk says that Gretzky's big nose might have been used to snort a lot of cocaine or other drugs.)

'''I mean, look at that thing! That slope is gigantic!'''

(Hawk makes fun of Gretzky's nose, saying it's really steep.)

Even I wouldn't fly off a ramp that titanic!

(Hawk continues to make fun of Gretzky's nose size by saying he wouldn't even try to skate on that "ramp" because it's too steep to skate.)

Now, the ice underneath you will get melted into water

When I hit you with a trick that's even hotter than your daughter!

You're old and you're basic; your talent is fading,

And Oiler alert: you're about to get traded!

(Gretkzy was best known for being captain of the Edmonton Oilers in the NHL. However, fans were shocked when the franchise revealed he was traded to the Los Angeles Kings.)

I drop rhymes like I'm dropping into a half-pipe!

I'll grass this asswipe pitcher like a hash pipe!

(Uh!) Keep your mittens on, Gretzky; you're too clean!

I got this covered like gravy on poutine!

(Hawk states that he has the rap "covered"—that is to say he is a rapper of unmatched skill—like the gravy on a poutine, a French Canadian "mess" of fries, cheese curds, and other food bits topped with gravy that Gretzky as a Canadian may have eaten.)

Wayne Gretzky:
'''That verse was rough! Damn, Tony!'''

So let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni!

(Zamboni is a popular brand of ice resurfacers, machines that are used to smooth and clean ice in an ice skating rink, as well as a general term for an ice resurfacer. Gretzky says he will smooth out Hawk's rap like a Zamboni smooths ice.)

(Ehh!) I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey,

(Gretzky earned the nickname "The Great One" for his varied skills in ice hockey.)

But on the microphone, I don't play, Hawky!

(Gretzky says that he may play hockey, but when he raps, he doesn't mess around. He also calls Tony Hawk "Hawky", because of his last name, Hawk.)

It's a street fight, T. Hawk; show some respect!

If you don't, then you'll catch a slapshot to the deck!

And I take a Flyer down, Bird; you're getting wrecked,

(Gretzky may be making a reference to the "Broad Street Bullies" of the Philadelphia Flyers, a very strong team in Gretzky's time.)

So you best prepare for a live-moment cross-check!

Hey, let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth:

'''Double what you're thinkin' 'bout! Check my net worth,'''

(Hockey players make much more money on their contracts than pro skaters.)

And my hot wife, the only woman in the world for Wayne!

(Janet Jones is Gretzky's wife since 1988, and he says he wouldn't change her for anybody while complimenting her looks. This is also a small reference to the film Wayne's World.)

You're on your fourth wife; talk about the X Games!

(Hawk has had four wives: Catherine Goodman, Lhotse Merriam, Erin Lee, and Cindy Dunbar. Gretzky makes a word play on the term ex-wife, a wife that was divorced, and the X Games, an annual sports event Hawk is a part of.)

There is one big trick that you ever did,

(On June 27th, 1999, Hawk set a world record by being the first skater to perform a 900, a 2½-revolution (900 degrees) aerial spin performed on a skateboard ramp as the skater makes a two-and-a-half turns about their longitudinal axis, thereby facing down when coming down.)

Then you got out-spun by a twelve-year-old kid!

(Gretzky continues his last line by saying Hawk's record has been beaten. Tom Schaar, who was 12 at the time, beat his record in March 2012 by performing the first 1080, one more spin faster than a 900. Gretzky calls Hawk weak for having his record lost to a child.)

'''Oh, you like finger flips? How 'bout one of these?'''

(Gretzky is mocking Hawk about finger flips, which he has his own brand of, a reference to Tech Decks (also known as fingerboards), a skateboard replica that is used with a person's fingers instead of legs. Gretzky is saying if Hawk likes to flip fingerboards, he would like a "finger flip", most likely a reference to flipping the middle finger, an insult in American culture.)

Sit on this and rotate 900 degrees!

Tony Hawk:
'''Great one, Wayne! Let me say something, Wayne!'''

I got 99 problems, and you ain't one, Wayne!

(Double reference: For most of his career, Gretzky wore jersey number 99. Hawk also references Jay Z's song "99 Problems", which features the chorus hook "I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one." In doing so, Hawk states that he has many complex personal issues to deal with, but rapping against Gretzky isn't an issue for him.)

You'll catch a pop shove-it to the mullet if you tip me!

Your threats are like my swimming pools, bruh: empty!

(Sometimes skaters use empty swimming pools to skate instead of a skate park. Hawk is saying Gretzky's threats are also empty, meaning they are not intended to be serious.)

Wayne Gretzky:
Then stop the kickflips and McTwists!

You'll be speechless after three periods, like an ellipsis!

(A professional ice hockey match is divided into three 20-minute segments called "periods", after which the team scoring the most goals wins. In terms of the rap, however, Gretzky says that after his three verses, Hawk will be left speechless. An ellipsis is a sequence of three periods (...) often used in writing to indicate a lack of speech or a pause in the writer's thought.)

This goofy-footed geek's straight getting smoked!

(Hawk often rode his skateboard with a "goofy foot", skateboarder slang meaning that his left foot was always positioned toward the tail of the board. Nonetheless, Gretzky says Hawk is just a nerd getting burned by his raps.)

'''Got you down on your kneepads! Sorry 'bout the deepthroat!'''

Tony Hawk:
Man, you should hit the buzzer 'cause it's time to change lines!

(In ice hockey, depending on the plays called, or as players become stressed or fatigued, they or their coaches can call for a "line change" to swap for fresh players while the others are given rest. Here, Hawk calls Gretzky's raps old and tired, saying he should try something different in order to continue rapping.)

You put that joke at the top shelf of lame rhymes!

(Hawk again continues to assault Gretzky with another hockey pun, as "to go top shelf" is to make a scoring shot over the shoulders of the goaltender and toward the top of the net. Hawk further calls Gretzky's raps "lame", or boring.)

Playin' typical sports, I use centripetal force,

(Most popular sports, including hockey, feature a team attempting to put an object into a location guarded by the other team. Hawk belittles this concept as typical or average, while he takes part in a more performance-based and creative sport. The complexities of skateboarding can mostly be explained with the concept of centripetal forces, mechanical forces that attract outer masses to a central point, which help keep the skateboard at the skateboarder's body.)

While you prance around in four-pound Nike diaper shorts!

(Ice hockey players wear heavily-padded pants to maintain body temperature as well as to guard the midsection of the body and the upper legs against fast-moving pucks. Hawk equates these pants to diaper shorts, as they are bulky and can be difficult to move around in as opposed to the street clothing skateboarders wear.)

I try to watch you on TV, but I can't see the puck!

(Ice hockey is a televised sport in the countries where it is frequently played; but even so, coverage is filmed with a wide-angle camera. As such, it can be difficult to spot the puck as it moves across the ice. Further complicating matters, ice hockey players move fast as they play, forcing camera operators to pan quickly from one end of the arena to the other; and the puck is only about 2" in diameter. Hawk finds watching the sport frustrating as a result.)

Hockey used to have guts, but now the teams Mighty Suck!

I tell kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do!

(Hawk tells Gretzky that he inspires kids to have the courage to skate by telling them they can do anything.)

Put more souls into skating than to Vans shoes!

(Hawk says he is inspiring more people or "souls" to skate than Vans shoes, even since Vans is marketed to skaters. The line also makes a pun on the homophones "souls" and "soles", soul being a person and sole being the bottom of a shoe.)

Wayne Gretzky:
'''Timeout! Let's talk about athletic achievements!'''

You and I have so many world records between us!

184! That's plenty of them,

And I set 183 of them!

Undisputed, un-refuted G-O-A-T!

(Gretzky asserts his uncontested claim to the arbitrary title of "GOAT", or Greatest of All Time. Indeed, many of the records he set over his 20-plus-year ice hockey career still stand today.)

You've been going downhill since Pro Skater 3!

(Gretzky says that Hawk's game franchise, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, has gone downhill since Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3, as it has been the most critically acclaimed game in the series, earning almost if not perfect scores in some critics' eyes. However, the games followed have not lived up to it, especially Pro Skater 5, which has been called one of the worst games in the franchise. This could also be a reference to Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam, a game that would eventually follow the third installment in the franchise.)

(Ooh!) And I'm too far ahead for you to catch up!

For true sports fans, this was finished as soon as they heard the matchup!