User blog:Wallnut3457/Rap Battle 14: The Grinch vs. Ebenezer Scrooge

Sorry guys if I haven't been putting on battles lately. This is my way of making it up to you guys :D This battle features Dr. Seuss fictional character, The Grinch vs. famous Christmas story hothead, Ebenezer Scrooge. Enjoy!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

THE GRINCH!

VS.

EBENEZER SCROOGE!

BEGIN!

The Grinch:

Get in the back of my sleigh Scrooge!

You look like some bum who drowned in booze!

How will you work when you know you'll lose?

You're so dead grumpy, you'd execute a beggar asking for new shoes!

I'm the best robber in the world, I stole too many Christmas trees!

And give your raps a goddamn day-off, please?

I will ALWAYS hate Christmas and the gift-o-rama!

But I'll hit you harder than when you got spanked by yo mama!

Go ask Max what we plan to do with your wrinkly face!

My raps will shock you like the N.P.D. got them thieves, tazed!

Your old age couldn't give you the strength to diss us!

I'm Sr. Grinch, evil monster, and I'm here to steal Christmas!

Ebenezer Scrooge:

You think I'm scared? Not one bit!

I've seen taxmen scarier than your Whoville shit!

I'm more popular on Christmas than even the Gingerbread Man!

I can spread fear to little kids faster than you can deliver war to the land!

I can't believe shaving people bald is your hobby!

You should just work as a doorman in Donald Trump's lobby!

I'm what you call evil, I'm pure LUXURY!

I already won by the time you'd be destroying Santa's toy factory!

I'm holding my diamond studded cane with the top hat for class!

I'll bet all the money in this bag that I'll earn more cash!

Why don't you just creep on back to the side of your mountain?

And puke Christmas songs on your little Whoville fountain!

The Grinch:

If you wanna earn real money, go join Mcdonald's Crew!

I'll screw you harder than the village did Cindy Lou Who!

Your raps made just as much sense as a nursery essay!

At the age your diarrhea always makes a mess, ay?

Your story took Jesus out of the holiday, man are you insane?

You're the inferno of the country and I'm gonna make it rain!

I can still teach a banker or two how to count something else!

They should count how many times they lost against a man like myself!

See, what can you say old-timer? You just sit back with the green?

I'm more than green! I'm green, lean and a rapping machine!

Ebenezer Scrooge:

You want me to show what a man with broken hips can do?

Let's start with every child that walked up my doorstep, yo!

I kicked a beggar off my rug because he begged for a whore!

I did a suplex on a street child who had a cent and wanted so more!

I spit my dentures on a man who was asking for a refund on his Visa!

And I put a megaphone up a deaf kid's ear and screamed, HASTA LA VISTA!!

I'm the original terror of December 25!

Bah Humbug! You don't care. You don't even a life!

How's that pussy cat you got from that house, is he treating you good?

I didn't change my heart one bit even though I should!

This British soul of mine will whoop your ass big-time!

And I don't care if they charge me for a kick-in-the-ass crime!

(Ebenezer pays fake money to add up his lines)

I've had ghost stories to share, you can share your demeanors!

And I can clean up your act with my cheap-made pipe cleaner!

You're green with envy, the same shade as a Christmas Wreath!

I know you can start acting all evil, but when will you start brushing your teeth?

That face of your is a plastic surgeon's worst nightmare!

Meet my England fist and say goodnight, playa!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

Who Won? The Grinch Ebenezer Scrooge