User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Doomguy vs Hellboy - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 4

Hello everyone, and welcome to another long overdue episode of Epic Rap Battles of Horror. Penultimate battles are kinda cool I guess. That all aside, haha fuck ur hopes Cave it's Doom Guy vs Hellboy. Before you read this battle, check out Cyan's latest premier as well as TK's battle featuring hell as well. Anyways, I've finally got around to using hell-centric characters which I surprisingly have not done in my four seasons of operation. The ones in particular today feature harbinger of the apocalypse, Hellboy, rapping against space marine Doomguy , to see who's the superior government agent gun-toting badass character to fight through hoards of enemies in hell with a suffix meaning "male." Of course, I couldn't have written for a comic character to save my life, so I have the talented Legion writing for me today as Hellboy. He did major justice to a character I would not have been able to. Doom is one of my favorite shooter games of all time behind Splatoon so I'm really excited to be using it. Special thanks to Grav for looking over some of my lyrics to make sure my hell references were correct. You'll see what I mean. Enjoy the battle. #SorryCave

Beat:
Beat:

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!



VS!



BEGIN!

Hellboy:
Let's kick off this battle, I'll take you to Hell, boy!

But the proper way. No fiddling around with zombie's toys.

Listen to your betters - Quake before me and Hail to the King!

Just keep looking dead ahead - with your graphics you're missing nothing.

You have found a secret! The Dark Horse always pulls ahead.

Skip to the end of the demo, we all know you'll wind up dead.

You've definitely got it backwards if your maker is your boss,

I've got the Right Hand of Doom, but I'll beat you with a left cross.

Doomguy:
Let’s Rock and roll! Doom Guy’s duping the demon of Dark Horse's Ploy

Leave your wordless Church destroyed, when against Clifford the Big Red Roid

This action figures purpose is to be purchased, you’re just a worthless toy

No wonder you’re childish, it’s in your name. The classic story of Man Versus Boy

Tore through your guard, this bruiser’s bars will leave this loser charred

Wouldn’t waste a clip blowing you to bits, only need my fists when I get SuperCharged!

Droppin’ Viral Bombs on the song, ‘cause I’ve got the brains and the brawn!

So Mark my words, I’ll make Rasputin’s pawn wish he was never Spawn-ed!

Hellboy:
I know you're feeling horny, but I'll be chiselling that like mine.

You fought through hell, but you were just Mooning Shades, dyke.

Better keep your eyes open because I can attack from the top down

Check out MY Big Fucking Gun as you aimlessly fire your last round.

Doomguy:
Your guns against my arsenal? You don’t have a fourth of my weaponry

Stomp you flatter than the pancakes that make up your worst enemies

Knock you back to your older days, ‘cause I preferred the ketchup-colored slave

To this crazed harbinger of pain who’s killed more people then he’s saved!

Hellboy:
You could call me the Unmaker as demonic aura plows you to the tarmac

Ridding you of your oncoming story, you're fucked. Call me John Carmack.

If only your lyrics carried the same shells as your pistol or machine

Because unless your diNimuetive ass can spit bigger, you're one doomed space marine.

Doomguy:
Bring it, Redpool! You’ll regret the day that you tried to move me

When you recoil and flop harder than your animated movies!

I’m killing this - You’re villanious! I’ll blow you to pieces for your wickedness,

And at the end of this rap spitting test, I’ll get a B.J. from Elizabeth!

(Three demons sneak up on Hellboy - a zombie, a spectre, and a devil. They attack one by one as Hellboy continues rapping.)



Hellboy
(The ghost raises his arms as if he’s about to strike, but Hellboy throws up a fist, not even so much as sparing a glance)

Remake your verses or go down longer than my excursions through the afterlife

You think the redneck essentials scare hellspawn? You see fear in my eyes?

(Hellboy turns around and fires his shotgun into the zombie, before grabbing the arm of the attacking devil and twisting it, throwing the creature over his shoulder. He then tears his arm straight out of the socket.)

You waded through the Shores of Hell, but real demons were too tough.

Truth is, I aced your demo, but five minutes was more than enough.

(He waves to his opponent using the ghouls severed arm)

(Three enemies sneak up on Doom Guy as well.)



Doomguy:
(Doom Guy whips out a grenade and pulls the pin)

I plowed through hell. My grandpa bested Hitler. You fought a rotten nun,

(He then stuffs the grenade into the mouth of the attacking demon. He slices off the monsters head, as it flies through the air.)

And as the Duke’s forgotten son, you’ll inherit your dad's title as The Fallen One!

(Doom Guy then turns around and front kicks the imp closing up on him. The monster knocks unconscious.)

Counters your moves and then I’m sure to bring about your Doom,

When I nuke this morbid orphan from orbit. Kaboom.

(Doom Guy then turns around and punts the severed head that falls to the ground. He knocks it into the barrel in the background. Exploding and destroying the entire area in sight, the explosion overtakes the camera, and the screen fades to black.)

(Three loud slamming noises are heard, as another beat begins. Two eyes and a bright visor appear in the darkness. They belong to Hellboy and Doom Guy, now eclipsed in total darkness. Another two eyes join the two, appearing below them.)



(Doomguy and Hellboy have fallen into Limbo.)

Limbo Kid: (2:16)
I’ve been brought into a reality where these hacks are subject to the pain I bring

But now your scarce raps are bear trapped in my lair where I reign as king

Your regrets couldn’t matter less when these overgrown infants met with an early tombstone

Try to PlayDead to avoid these threats, but these uninvited guests have left for Limbo

Second Circle: A whirlwind of your sins, even the deaf would hear your deathly screams

Third Circle: Rain righteous rhymes to leave you baptised, yet your souls still won’t be redeemed

Fourth Circle: Rama’s left with no mama, forever burdened by the death of his father figure

Fifth Circle: While you’re left drowned with fear, your biggest weapon couldn’t handle the imps here

Sixth Circle: A tomb ignites and lies for a Doomguy. Let this serve as a grim reminder,

Seventh Circle: Vile nightmares from your inside your mind to stomp you like a Spider

Eight Circle: Diseases sicker than your ciphers to poison a fraud of Ghost Rider

Final Circle: Where your lies meet their demise as you’re left to rot in eternal Hell Fire

Announcer:
W-W-WHO WON?

W-W-WHO'S NEXT?

Y-Y-YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES...

''A frighteningly large spider comes along and ties up the logo in thick web, hanging it upside down from the ceiling. The logo busts open into tiny spiders.'''

...OF HORROR.

Outro


Holy shit that's the first scary verse in this entire series

Who won? Hellboy Doomguy Limbo Kid

Ending
Unrelated to the strife of the three hell slayers, Sam and Dean had also been in the depths of Hell at the time. During their visit, they had managed to find and speak with the soul of Alice Liddell, receiving information on who her killer was, and where she currently resides.

Unbeknownst to the brothers, Mulder and Scully had already deduced Madotsuki as the killer. The FBI Duo, along with several agents were currently headed to her confirmed location. The brothers also headed for this location. Little did either duo know, someone (or something) was waiting for them.

I have no clue what legion's nav's are so here's his user page!