Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde



Romeo & Juliet vs Bonnie & Clyde is the forty-seventh installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the second episode of Season 4. It features Shakespearean lovers, Romeo & Juliet, rapping against the infamous criminal couple, Bonnie & Clyde. It was released on November 17, 2014.

Cast
Nice Peter as Romeo Montague

Grace Helbig as Juliet Capulet

Hannah Hart as Bonnie Parker

EpicLLOYD as Clyde Barrow

Lyrics
[Bonnie and Juliet in italics, Clyde and Romeo in bold, both members of the couple in normal text]

Bonnie & Clyde:
•

I'll handle this, darling, I'm known to fire off some BAR's

Cause if these lovers cross me, they're gonna end up seeing stars

I mean, I'll let you go first, but damn sure I'm getting licks in

On this hissy-fitting rich kid and this prepubescent vixen

I'm sick of them, let's beat 'em then, and we can rob 'em blind

I'll stick this punk up from the front, I'll take this broad from behind

And pop a cap in the ass of the last Capulet heiress

Give Miss No Nights In Paris a reason to cry to her parents

'''Oh! Romeo, O Romeo, wherefore you trying to flow, yo?'''

Mofo, you soft as a froyo, are those the drapes or your clothes, bro?

There's gonna be a tragedy,

Make you ache like your balls on the balcony

Barrow gang put their money where their mouth is,

Spit sick like a plague on both your houses

Romeo & Juliet:
My love, your face is beauty to behold

I will protect thine honor from these dust bowl dildos

A moment's break from your gaze is an eternity past

So together we shall both put these bitches on blast

En garde, thou artless beetle-headed flax wench

The only insult you have thrust upon me is thine stench

'''Why don't you twist upon these nuts? I hear you're good with a wrench'''

The dismal state of your raps should be a federal offense

Haha, and you there, wench with the neck of a chicken

You'll get an ass-ripping worse than your boyfriend's in prison

You're not a true romance, you're just a conjugal visit

Oh, but that's not even your real husband now, is it?

Bonnie and Clyde:
Hey partner, you best put a muzzle on your missus

'Fore I teach her how we handle disrespect down in Texas

Romeo & Juliet:
Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, shall I draw my long sword?

Or will you duck your chicken shit ass back into your Ford?

Bonnie & Clyde:
How could you beat my man in some mano a mano?

You can't protect your best friend from some John Leguizamo

Romeo & Juliet:
No, no, my Romeo will beat your beau in contest blow for blow

He will do upon thine dick what you hath done upon your toe

Oh, I am killed, what irony is this?

The lead role shot down by a failed actress...

Then I shall kill myself, on my stomach I shall lie

So you louts can lick my ass, thus with a diss I die...

Oop, nevermind, my flesh was merely grazed

''Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo! There's poison on your face''

Oh, happy dagger, pierce me true, persuade my breath to stop

''Sheath yourself inside my heart and like the beat I drop... ''

Bonnie & Clyde:
Well that was tragic, that did not go as expected

'Woulda done that boy some good to just wait a couple seconds

It's kinda sad though, really, so young to have just died

Well, at least we got each other, just Bonnie and-

General

 * This is the first team battle with each team consisting of one man and one woman.
 * This is the first time the rappers are the creation of a previous ERB rapper. In this case, William Shakespeare.
 * The Cat in the Hat and Things 1 & 2 were created by Dr. Seuss. However, they all appeared in the same battle, Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare.
 * This is the first team battle where Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD are not on the same side.
 * This is the first and only rap battle to end with all characters dead.
 * This is also the first battle to have a rapper commit suicide.

Continuity

 * This is the fifth team battle after Mario Bros vs Wright Bros, Batman vs Sherlock Holmes, Artists vs TMNT, and Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters.
 * Coincidentally, this is the third team battle in a row.
 * Coincidentally, this is also the third battle in a row to have a real team facing a fictional team.
 * This is the third time a woman rapped against a man, with the first two being Adam vs Eve and Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters.
 * If King Henry VIII vs Hillary Clinton was released, this would have been the fourth.
 * This is the fourth battle in which the characters do not dance during the "Who won? Who's next? You decide!" sequence, after John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood and Moses vs Santa Claus.
 * This is the fourth rap battle in which a rapper dies, following Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin, Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates and Hitler vs Vader 3.
 * It is the fifth if you count the 10th Doctor regenerating into the 4th Doctor.
 * This is the second battle to have a blank "Who's next" sequence. That first was Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood.
 * This is the first to have a blank in both "Who won, Who's next" sequence.
 * This is the second battle to have the final line cut off, after Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge.