James Bond vs Austin Powers/Rap Meanings

James Bond:
Beef with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with a cheek scar,

(James Bond faced and defeated villains such as Le Chiffre, Dr. No and Blofeld, a villain known for his cat and his cheek scar.)

But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are!

(Bond uses the two meanings of the words "rotten" and "crooked" to compare the state of Powers' teeth to the villains he has faced in the past. They can be described as rotten and crooked as these are words associated with corrupt or evil characters, whilst Powers' teeth may be crooked or rotten because he takes little care over them.)

I'll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot!

Blast shots at ya like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!

'''Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it!'''

(Bond works for MI6, an organization that works with royalty, or the Crown, who is giving permission to defeat Powers, to which Bond is pleased.)

I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!

After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights!

(James Bond has been in a total of 24 films and is still hitting box office records with even his series as a total being #3 on the highest-grossing film series of all time.)

Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice!

(Austin Powers' last and third film, Austin Powers in Goldmember, didn't recieve well to fans and critics alike to which Bond says Powers only lived twice, three references to that are to the Bond movie, You Only Live Twice, his previous two films, and the fact he lived in the 60s and relived in the 90s after being frozen.)

'''Spell my name! The ladies wanna B-on-D!'''

(Bond makes a play on the spelling of his name. He says that ladies, or the Bond girls associated with his films, want to be with him, specifically on his D, which is shorthand for dick.)

Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!

(Bond does not understand how Powers was considered a sex symbol, and the thought of it is beyond him, or baffling him.)

I'm bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done!

'''I only need one round. *gunshot* Golden Gun!'''

(A reference to the Golden Gun weapon in the N64 game GoldenEye 007, where you kill a character with just one round, to which Bond uses a word play with this rap round as he only needs one verse to beat Powers. This is also a reference to the 007 film The Man with the Golden Gun.)

Austin Powers:
You look a lot more blond in your movie, baby,

'''But that's alright. Let's just keep it groovy, baby!'''

(Yeah!) Basil Exposition told me this would be boring,

(Basil Exposition is a character from the Austin Powers movies who gives Powers briefings on his missions. His name is autological, as he gives exposition, or an explanation of an idea that wasn't shown in the movie but is a necessary plot point to the story. Coincidentally, this line in itself is exposition. In this described briefing, Exposition told Powers that battling against James Bond would be boring, insulting the entertainment value of his movies.)

But Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!

(While being told rapping against Bond was going to be boring, but Powers didn't expect it to such a degree that his mojo, or sex appeal/charm, has fallen asleep, implying that he can't even stay awake for intercourse after hearing something as boring as Bond rapping.)

I've never seen such a miserable spy!

(Powers says that he's never seen a spy as inadequate as Bond. This also mocks Craig's bond for being serious, saying that his lack of happiness suggests that he is, in fact, miserable.)

I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs!

(Powers also calls to attention the shaven body of Daniel Craig's Bond. In the 1960s, when the character of Powers is from, a more popular sex appeal on a man was hair, leaving Powers to speculate how Bond can do so well with the ladies with such a lack of hair.)

I mean, you can't shag verbally with that waxed tush!

(Powers clarifies his confusion by explaining this conundrum to Bond. "Shag" is a British word meaning to have intercourse with someone, which references Powers' second film, The Spy Who Shagged Me, but it can also mean a mass of hair. Having previously mentioned Bond's shaven thighs, he mentions Bond's waxed tush, or butt. To wax a part of the body means to have hair removed by means of hot wax sticking to the hairs and having it quickly pulled off.)

Birds flock to the musk of my chest fuzz!

(Powers brags about the hair on his body, specifically his chest, that gives off a musk, or a scented secretion used to attract mates, that birds "flock" to. A "bird" is British slang for a young woman. This pun shows young women flocking, or gathering around Powers, just as a real flock of birds would.)

(Yeah!) I'll hypnotize you with a little striptease,

And then judo chop; I'm swinging on you like the sixties!

(Yeah!) You're defenseless; my rhymes can't be deflected!

You're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!

(Yeah!) People want a hero with a little personality!

No one wants to sit through your gritty reality!

Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines!

You've made Thunderball two bloody times!

I'm one of a kind; you're always getting remade!

You can't touch me; double-O, behave!

(Bond's codename is 007. There is also a famous quote and internet meme of Powers saying the phrase "Oh, behave!". Powers make a pun here saying Bond should behave better. This is also a reference to MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This.)

James Bond:
(Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!

(Bond thinks he's not gaining anything out of battling Powers. Since he's meant to be a parody of Bond, he calls him a clown.)

I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!

Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis,

Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies!

(Bond thinks he shouldn't be rapping against Austin Powers as he references the scene in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery where he gathers his belongings, including a Swedish-made penis enlarger.)

Austin Powers:
Yeah, that's not mine…

(Just like in the previously referenced scene, Powers denies the fact that the penis enlarger is his, but…)

James Bond:
'''I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks!'''

(…Bond interrupts him, saying his verse wasn't finished as he is sick of Powers' shticks.)

I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!

And I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic,

But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!

James Bond (Connery):
I wouldn't exactly call you original…

(The Sean Connery version of James Bond is saying that even though James Bond himself is the original character, Daniel Craig is not the original actor of James Bond)

It's the most prominent dominant Bond spy, so pay homage!

Handing out ass-whoopings, I'm on some real James Bondage!

Your performance doesn't stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken!

If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!

I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all!

I don't need a Q to break your balls!

I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!

'''You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.'''

Austin Powers:
Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap, please?

James Bond (Connery):
Rap deez, you velvety hack!

Austin Powers:
Jeez!

James Bond (Craig):
It's the movie business, and you've had your six!

The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists!

Austin Powers:
Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey.

I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby.

James Bond (Connery):
'''I'll fight! I'm an extraordinary gentlemen! I'm distinguished!'''

(Connery's Bond says that he is more class than both Craig's Bond and Austin Powers, and references at the same time the movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (based on the comic book series of the same name, which features the villain Jimmy Bond, a parody of James Bond), in which Sean Connery plays Allan Quatermain.)

If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!

(Mini-Me is Dr. Evil's dwarf sidekick from the Austin Powers movies who is played by Verne Troyer, a real-life dwarf who is 2' 8". Sean Connery says his version would be played by Peter Dinklage, another dwarf actor known for his role as Tyrion Lannister in George R. R. Martin's critically acclaimed fantasy series, Game of Thrones, a character seen as more sophisticated and distinguished than the people around him.)

James Bond (Craig):
Well, maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English!

(This line references the fact that Sir Sean Connery is a Scot by birth, when Bond's character is English like Daniel Craig. As the English and the Scots have been at odds through various times in history, Craig's Bond thinks that an Englishman should be the one to portray Bond. This may also be a fourth wall joke as Craig is played by Ben Atha, a British actor, whilst Connery is played by EpicLLOYD, an American actor.)

James Bond (Connery):
*gunshot* Why, Pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?

(Connery makes a twisted reference: he mentions the Bond story Octopussy and villainess Pussy Galore as he sarcastically compliments Craig's use of language while calling him a "pussy", which in this case means "weak as a woman". "Cunning linguist" is a play on "cunnilingus", the act of performing oral sex on a woman.)

James Bond (Craig):
As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts!

After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!

James Bond (Connery):
Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt!

'''I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!'''