User blog:BreZ/BZRB 5: Lord Ruthven VS Edward Cullen

Welcome to my fifth battle. It's Edward Cullen VS historic vampire Lord Ruthven, you probably expected Dracula. Then again, you probable already read the title so you weren't expecting Dracula anymore. Anyways, Lord Ruthven is further back in history than Dracula. I don't actually suspect people skip this and part and go to the rap battle first. So yeah, if you're still reading this, just go to the rap battle. Seriously dude. You still reading? K, I'm just gonna stop typing and forcing you to the rap battle.

Announcer
EDWARD CULLEN!

VS!

LORD RUTHVEN!

BEGIN!

Ruthven
Tonight you're getting beat by the original literal Vampyre.

Kill you by burning you worse than ever possible with fire.

Teach this ghoul how we used to do bitchslapping oldschool, make sure it's cruel.

If you actually pay attention to real vampire behaviour, you may not befor ever stuck in Highschool.

No more Team Jacob or Edward, right now everyone is on my team.

Cause they know I'll cream this disgrace of the vampire theme.

With all your sparkling you're closer to a Disney Princess like Cinderella.

And just so you know, last night I went with my Blade deep in Bella.

Edward
You sure you're the first vampire creature in literature, cause for that you're pretty obscure.

I can assure you that you're a premature amateur if you think you can beat me so sure.

You must be damned that you were shammed by Bram.

Time I put you down with a lyrical slam.

It's a New Moon, a new vampire race without weaknesses and a new vampire era.

I'm overflowing with fangirls and I'm just Breaking Dawn, Team Edward will show you real terror.

Here's a tip, go find a place to hide, cause I'll burn you worse than the sun.

Tonight is your last Eclipse, you won't come back in a year and a day, your true end has begun.

Ruthven
You may not be the first gay vampire, but atleast Camilla

Is a cold blooded killer, a pillar to a true vampire thriller.

A creature of the night, not a shimmering vanilla son of the sunlight.

Rewrite this disgrace of vampire literature called twilight, make sure this time it's done right.

With a vampire who can actually give me a bigger scare and more street than Count von Count

or the Dracula from Hotel Transylvania instead of this "bloodsucker", who has blood on discount

Edward
You're not a vampire, just a lunatic who thinks that he is, Vampyren is a really good tell.

And actually I suck the blood of beasts, while I can't find you sucking blood anywhere in your novel.

So why don't you go suck on Count Orlok's cock and rocks.

Tick-tock, soon the sun will be getting up so you better watch the clock.

You seduce girls, marry and kill them, but you never fuck them.

So step aside while I sparkle in the spotlight like a gem.

Announcer
WHO WON!? YOU DECIDE Lord Ruthven Edward Cullen

WHO'S NEXT!? HIT ME UP WITH A SUGGESTION (that I may or may not listen to)