Talk:Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child/@comment-4490782-20160516173713

GORDON RAMSAY:

And that's how you make a perfect risotto

Right, Mrs Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table

I've got exactly two minutes and you should be grateful

'Cause I'm the fucking ??? with all these shows to pitch

I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots greenlit

I'm a seasoned skillet, you're a pam-spray pan

I've got Michelin stars, you're like the Michelin Man

I'm rolling in dough ??? beef wellington from ???

And I'm shitting on you like I'm wack flows intolerant!

JULIA CHILD:

Oh, isn't that a wonderful thing?

A grubby little chef who thinks he can bring

Enough salt to justify getting rolled(?)

With a butter-loving queen of the bourginon sauce/bowls

I rock hard as concrete on top of these bomb beats

Been choppin' the pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's teat

I served America dutifully, and I sliced lard beautifully

I reigned supreme from shark repellent to charcuterie

Go on and cross your arms in that B-boy stance

When it comes to hot cuisine, there's on F-word: France!

Here's a nice amuse bouche, take a poor abused youth

Set a 30 year timer: Voila! Huge douche!

You're a namby-pamby candy(?) ???

??? you couldn't rap your way out of a pastry bag

Understand ???

??? my dear boy ???

GORDON RAMSAY: I'm glad that you got that off your giant, flabby chest

I'd call you Donkey but you look more like Shrek

When the Iron Man chef busts a rhyme

I'll open up on you like a fine red wine

I'm a culinary innovator, you're no creator

We're going to take your French plates(?) like a glorified translator

I'm fresh, you're past your expiration date

Alright, fuck it! Blue team, drop the ??? plate (Yes chef!)

I'm seen your little show and it sure ain't pretty

??? Big Bird ??? Miss Piggy

You can't test me with your fatty recipes

Call your book ??? The Art of Heart Disease

I mean, it's rubbish! (Yes chef!) Look at page 408

Tell me, who the fuck (yes chef!) would let a good ???

You call these ??? (yes chef!) they're stale and soft!

Now, here, take this ???

Now give it back and fuck off!

JULIA CHILD:

Oh please, your defeat's guaranteed

Concede, I've got this in the bag: sous-vide!

Michelin ??? you've done well for yourself

But as a person, you couldn't get a star on Yelp!

I could freeze a steak with those frosty tits(?)

And what's with that bitter taste in every word from your lips?

You scream at women while the fits that you're pitching(?)

Make you the busyest bitch in the kitchen

I'll ??? you on the head ??? and stick it to ya!

Anything's good with enough butter! Boo-yah!

Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me!

Now eat a dick! Bon appetit!