User blog:MrAwesome300/Breaking Bad, Season 1: THE RAP

Recently I have been addicted to Breaking Bad on Netflix, preparing for White vs. Grimes. Like, seriously. I've watched 3 episodes in the past 2 hours. So for those users on this wiki that either don't have time to watch Breaking Bad or don't have Netflix (or a TV), I made every event of all seven episodes of the first season into a short rap. I'll do this for all other seasons of Breaking Bad as I go on (I'm halfway into Season 2 right now), so stay tuned for more.

Rap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO1d2Qtls28

(starts at 0:14)

First scene of the show, pants flying off in the sky

To Walter White, it's either face the cops or suffer and die

He was a high school chemistry teacher and a part time car wash clerk

He gets lung cancer, can't even make it without coughing at work

His wife Skyler nags his ass every hour, day by day,

His DEA brother in law makes sure he doesn't get away

He goes on a ride along and spots his old student, Jesse, Cap'n Cook

They buy a Winnebago, ride to the desert, use lab equipment they took

They make meth, sell it to make sure Walt's family doesn't go broke

Jesse gets two of his meth buddies who will get lethal if they don't get a toke

When they do get lethal, Walt and Jesse kick their ass

They trap one in the basement, soak another in the bath

Walter checks on Krazy 8 in the basement and gives him food and drink

He coughs again and gets knocked out, dropped a broken plate from the sink

Walt wakes up and realizes one of the pieces just isn't right

Krazy 8 tries to stab him with a plate, ends with another kill for Mr. White

Skyler's suspecting some shit when she realizes Walt's been away

He finally admits he has cancer, gets a chemo treatment, then shaves his hair one day

Jesse and Walt cook some more meth for a crazy SOB, Tuco Salamanca

He beats the shit out of Jesse, but negotiates with Mr. Blanca

Who now is under Heisenberg, dons a hat and and a pair of sunglass

Hank questions Walt at the school when he finds equipment and gas masks

Walt and Jesse break into a warehouse, sealing the lock with thermite

They cook a batch, sell it to Tuco, who thinks it's pretty alright

He beats the living shit out of his assistant for questioning the thing,

Tuco's bloody knuckles end the season until next spring,

Season 2 will bring more bell rings, chicken, and Walt Jr's breakfast

It all unravels in Albuquerque, in the state next to Texas.