User blog:Awesomesix/Eat Rat Butts Outside Please: Louis and Clark vs Bill and Ted

Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted is battleOn the rap battle sof history, louis and clark versus bill and ted, the famous american explorers, released May 25, 2015!

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Theodore Roosevelt, Superman , the Things

Nice Peter as Bill Clinton, Cat in the Hat

Collin Whatever as Billy Mays

Ray William Johnson as Goku

Zach Sherwin as Ebenezer Scrooge

Tupac as Louis Armstrong

Hitler as the butterfly

The literal entire ERB wiki as the background

Henry Taft as stunt doubles

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

LOUIS AND CLARK!

VERSUS!

BILL AND TED!

BEGIN!

Bill and Ted:

You can't be starting with the bear and the Sax,

'Cause we put more holes in your head than any federal act,

Go hunting for the bitches then go sleep in the office,

Showing these two fictional characters their country’s bosses!

We're two American men smoking more morons than a cigar,

And we’ll stain your reputation faster than the Kennedy’s car,

You’re not real! Even without Wikipedia we could tell you that,

And it’s not because we’re better, but you’re both old and black!

We ran the greatest nation and gave a place to make your greatness,

The very place you were raised in, without us, would be shapeless!

Let’s quit babbling! Yeah! Let’s stick to straight to our oath,

We’ll rock the poll for the battle like we both rocked the votes!

We inspired fluffy little toys and rugs with second lover’s faces,

You inspire sexual instruments and supporting aliens in our nation!

Time to take away this biker’s brass and show the true DC heroes,

So go back to losing to Lex Luthor and, uh, whatever you do, negro!

Louis and Clark:

I put my mouth on long tubes, but that joke hits the wrong notes,

You make as bout as good disses as DC makes good movies and shows.

I hope you meant District Columbia, Louis! I liked the Dark Night!

Now stand back as I make another Roosevelt rely on wheels for life!

We go harder than Gillespie when we rap against these deadbeats,

Head harder than Lewinksy into battle while your wife is with King Henry,

Denied a battle because you host the news?

Should’ve replaced you with Brian Williams, at least he’s honest. Too soon.

And if the Philippines knew what this fat cowboy would do,

You’d be… uh… missing a Philippenis or two!

That’s the best pun you’ve got? These jokes we're against are better

Ones than you’ve got! Alright, I’ll try to be more clever!

Bill and Ted:

Did you hear that, Teddy? HI, I’M BILLY MAYS!

What are you doing here? TO SELL SOME COCAINE!

Get lost, you addict! Me and Clinton are trying to wreak havoc!

I’ll make a second Panama when I send these pansies into panic!

BUY THIS NOW, AND- oh, shut up already!

Alright, we'll buy some! Do you take cash or credit?

At least let another Theodore in! YO, THE THINGS IN THIS BITCH!

WE GONNA TEAR FART TENT AND POOIS ARMPIT!

Lewis and Clark:

Man, they totally burned us. We totally blow, dude.

What do we do? I don't know. Cha cha cha! Goku!

That idiot’s right! We should dance. Wait, what? Indeed.

No pair of major dickweeds will make a fool out of me!

Wait, where are you going? To Kakatrot, what else?

This talking carrot’s truth is apparent: We must fend for ourselves!

What does dancing have to do with that? A lot, in fact!

You dance to rap! So what? You’re listening to Yu-Gi-Oh? True that!

Believe in yourself! You can do what you want if you have fun!

I haven’t missed my chance to be different! God bless us every-

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

General

 * This is the first battle since Vader vs Hitler 4 to feature a black rapper.
 * This is the second battle to be released on a Monday, after the Monday Show.

Production

 * I can't use a camera.

Continuity

 * This is the third battle to feature Nail, after Amelia Aerhart vs my cat and Noah vs Crap Battles  Mulan vs China.
 * The ERB logo is featured on the Illuminati triangle on Lewis's shirt.

Errors

 * Lloyd showed up late so despite being in the first verse, was filmed last. ;(