User blog:Awesomesix/Literal Review 2

Awesomesix here, literal reviewing The One Day Guy's Gauss I vs Einstien, and afterwards, Patrick vs Spongebob bt Joshuakrasinski. Oh boy.

Intro
The geniuses of Carl Gauss and Alber Einstien hopefully clash in a genius battle of geniusness.

Battle #1
'''Carl Gsuss: I am the king! There's nothing else to say!'''

Yes, Carl GSUSS, there is more to say. You won't win the battle just by saying that. If you do, bullshit.

'''I created America! While you are gay.'''

I don't think you "created" America. I'm pretty sure a lot of plate movement and earth shit did. Also, lovely contrast. You're saying you're God, and that he's a homosexual. That's like comparing Morgan Freeman and Elton John. Both of them are awesome.

Don't try to beat me because I will always win.

You sure about that? I've heard Einstien is a genius. He'll own you with his intelligence and get bitches while doing it.

You are a nerd who didn't do anything!

Lovely last line. Win/10, A+/5, sequel coming 2015.

Albert Einstein:

E = MC squared because you are an MC and you look like a square!

Way to fucking rip off Einstien vs Hawking, dumbfuck. Only here, the line isn't as good. Because you explained it, taking away the awesomeness from the original line. Fucking moron.

When I search you up in Google, you are not even there!

When I search "Kinky Lizard Lesbian Ninja Sex Party" on Google, it's not there. That doesn't mean there wasn't one. You are FLAWED, I tell you. FLAWED!

Because there are two Carl Gausses and the other one is better!

I can't even remember there's one-wait, so this ISN'T Mini's fetish mathematician? Huh.

You are so lame- lame as a feather!

Feathers aren't lame. Want to know what has feathers? FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!

Results #1
This battle sucks. It's terrible. It feels like the rough draft of the rough draft's rough draft. It's better than nothing though. 1/10.

Intro 2
Spongebob and Patrick battle? I don't know what to say, it sounds bad already.

Battle #2 (Spongebob vs Patrick)
announcer:

'''epic rap battles spongebob squarepants vs patrick star!!!!!! begin!!!'''

I'm so pumped.

spongebob:

this battle is gonna end like every arguement does with you kissing my shoes and begging me for a hug  your an idiot patrick so i'll easily win this battle you play with your belly button like it's a rattle you have no brains so you better just quit when this is over i'll  throw in the bottomless pit 

Did you just...did...you...just...No. You didn't. You didn't steal Eve's first line from Adam vs Eve, it's just a coincidence. I don't even know about the rest of the verse...something about bellybuttons, bottoms, pits, and brains? Sounds kinky.

patrick:

spongebob you got sponge for brains not to mention that your episodes this days are lame plus not mention you drive squidward insane you never can beat me my friend this battle wil end with you scrubbing my belly it will be a real pain in the phelly  you whine too much i having  spongecake for lunch  here i go munch munch munch 

Patrick, you're in the episodes too, so don't give Spongebob all the blame. Why did you not notice he annoys Squidward? What is a phelly? Why do you want him to scrub your stomach? Why are you "eating" during battle? What the fuck is anything? Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

spongebob:

seriously dude like i said your really dumb i would spit more ryhmes but my tounge is numb i'll cook into krabby patties serve to my mommy and my daddy too if you  face it patrick your a fatty 

Your tongue being numb doesn't affect your speaking much I think, or you wouldn't be, you know, RAPPING AGAINST HIM. And did you try to insult him by calling him "Fatty"? Five year olds find that insult stupid. What I've gotten here is: Your tongue is numb, you want to cook for your parents, but only if Patrick will admit he is a bit overweight? What the hell.

patrick:

'''oh that's it THE GLOVES ARE OFF TIME TO RAP LIKE NEVER BEFORE LIKE GARGAMEL I AM BRINGING DESTRUCTION FROM MOUTAIN CHORE!!!!!! YOUR LAUGH IS ANNOYING YOUR SOCK COLLECTINGS  A BORE  I DON"T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!! '''

OH SHIT BITCH HE'S TALKING IN ALL CAPS YOUR ASS HAS BEEN DESTROYED NOW SPONGEBOB OH SHIT. This last verse sounds like Patrick bitched because he didn't get the toy he wanted. And he's on his period. And is giving birth. While being stabbed. With venom. Without his gloves on. Wait...did you just say you're going to rap like Gargamel? Gargamel rapped? Look out Smurfs, Gargamel's gonna rap the shit out of you.

(record stops)

Finally.

patrick: 

i'm sorry spongebob 

God dammit, Patrick. You just bitched at him only to kiss his ass...wait...

spongebob:

me too

No...this...this isn't happening. God dammit.

Yes.

This is an Adam vs Eve parody.

Fucking dammit.

announcer:

'''who won? who's next? you decide epic (plays flute) rap battles '''

Help me.

Results #2
This is nothing to me. Just nothing. 0/10. Why.