User blog:Mortal5075/Monokuma vs Chris McLean - Epic Rap Battles of Mortality Season 1

Who the in the actual living fuck even reads this anymore. Monokuma is from Dragon Porn Daycare, Chris McLean is from Total Dangan Island: Goodbye Despair. Lets get on with this shit.



Monokuma
It’s Monokuma here! But listen, children, let's not get too crazy

Last time things started off this strong, I started blasting my own babies.

Was that a sex joke? Well if you cringed, just don’t make me repeat it.

My kids version was not real, and you guys actually did it?

I gave you this chance to battle just to make you feel that you can defeat me

But for defiance, you’ll just get cut up with verse of Gungnir through your kidney

So you stand defeated, legs kneeled, pleading for me to not mess up your hair

But that’s just another hope I crushed just in the name to make despair

Chris McLean
Who are you to my angered crew? Man, I hate to break it though

But we’ll see how menacing you are when SJ comes up and cuddles you

My lines will leave you silenced, just like Justin in first season

I’m not killing cause of lawsuits, but what the hell can be your reason?

Own loads of guns, yet never fired one, but *now* you think your shots are firing?

”The Despair Maker” just does not fit for you, get “The PR Figure two steps in retiring”

You made poor choices, jumped over gaps in plot, no wonder you took a Logic Dive

If your challenge was to live with a room of mice, you won’t make it out alive.

Monokuma
You’re simply boring and repetitive, with the same theme song and same cast

Repeating rules every 10 minutes, it seems you are quite stuck in past

So it will not be a problem once I’ll erase you from existence,

When you wake up a mindless zombie, you’ll at least be of assistance

You’ll still be the same, fairly, you’re such a bore it simply bears me

To even be in the same battle as this meatbag truly scares me.

You Jimmy Phallic should battle shaving, this is a wrong fight that you picked

Now call me your daddy, cause you just got licked

Chris McLean
I’ll choke you faster than when your students wake from sleep still with the nurse on

And switch up my flow just like Gwen switches the boys the swirls on

My cast is idiots and goofs who’s brain is always null and absent

Here’s a tip, to have more fun, don’t get people with a talent

Turn up that Box 15, buddy, me, myself and I have found your body

The case is suicide, after Big Mac found out that you left a corpse unbodied.

And I would say that Monokuma did not do something three times and all those times he missed

But a saddening truth for both of us, Hangman’s Gambit and his verses exist.

Monokuma
I’m armed to teeth! I’m armed to legs! I’m armed to arms? I’m asking why!

How much despair does it take for Chris to see that there’s no chance he won't die?!

I could convince you to do a killing if I removed all of your mirrors

I don’t mind that you’re flamboyant, it’s just one more place for Jill and her scissors

Chris McLean
Armed to teeth? Well Junko’s arm certainly goes right to your teeth

That’s why you’re pissed, with her elbow up your rear, you just can’t help it if

Only you weren’t a toy to be used by evil women

With how they’re lewd, I don’t wanna know the places that you’ve been in

Monokuma
I think I’d rather listen to Monomi or have Ibuki play a guitar

Such a cheap hooker for publicity that Succi hit you with a car

You killed yourself in your own verse, so lets us all brace graceful joy when

Chris McLean is executed by “Human Centipede with Owen”

Chris McLean
You started off alright, but that execution was ass

Kodaka ditched you for the cast of the same age as his own fans

So if you wanna fight, face my Handsome Outer Power Enterprise

But if you wanna fist your sister, go ask Kiyo for advice