Abe Lincoln

"I won the Civil War with my beard! Now I'm here to whoop your ass!"

- Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln battled against Chuck Norris in Epic Rap Battles of History 3 and was played by Nice Peter. He also made a cameo in Epic Rap Battles of History 15 and battled as a third-party rapper against Barack Obama and Mitt Romney in Epic Rap Battles of History 23. His latest appearance was intended to point out the faults with both of the presidential candidates.

Information on Rapper
Abraham "Abe" Lincoln (February 12, 1809 - April 15, 1865) was the 16th President of the US. He is most known for leading the Union States through the Civil War, eventually re-uniting the country as one and freeing the slaves through the Emancipation Proclamation. He was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth on April 14, 1865, 5 days after the end of the war. His face is on Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota, and is also on the penny and the $5 bill. Lincoln is often considered by historians as one of the greatest presidents of the United States.

ERBoH Bio
Good afternoon, I am the 16th president of these United States. Pleasure to make your acquaintance through this future machine! Besides my top rail beard and first class hat I also saved the Union of our federal government and kept this country afloat. Luckily, I’m a goldarn good orator and in 1863, I gave a speech at Gettsyburg, Pennsylvania about human equality that was so darn aces it got my mug on Mt. Rushmore and the penny! Look around, Abraham Lincoln is everywhere! Bully for Honest Abe! Unfortunately, some curly wolf Confederate sympathizer named John  Wilkes Booth shot me while I was watching the play, “Our American Cousin.” The play wasn’t that great, but I would like to have seen the end. Yours truly and fine as cream gravy, Abraham Lincoln. P.S. Since I get asked all the time, four score means eighty years. You’re welcome.

Verse 1:
Four score and sixty-five years in the past

I won the Civil War with my beard. Now I'm here to whoop your ass!

I've read up all your facts. You cure cancer with your tears?

Well tell me, Chuck. How come you never sat down and cried on your career?

You're a washed up has-been on TV selling total gyms

And you're gonna lose this battle like you lost Return of the Dragon

I'll rip your chest hairs out, put 'em in my mouth

I'll squash you like I squashed the South

I never told a lie, and I won't start now

You're a horse with a limp. I will put you down!

Verse 2:
I got my face on the side of a mountain. You voted for John McCain

I got a bucket full of my head, and I'm about to make it rain

You block bullets with your beard? I catch 'em with my skull

I'd make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger, but I've never even seen that show!

Verse 1:
By the power invested in me by this giant bald bird

The President shall not be the shiniest of two turds!

You! I wanna like you! Don't talk about change, just do it!

I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it!

And you, moneybags, you're a pancake. You're flip-floppity!

It's a country, not a company, you can play like Monopoly!

I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!

Of the people, by the people, for the people! Eagle!

Trivia

 * Lincoln is the first president to be in a rap battle.
 * He is the fourth character to return from a past battle, but the first to rap as a third party rapper.