User blog:Loygansono55/Santa Claus VS Jesus Christ - Loygan's Christmas Special!

I haven't made an original fanmade rap battle in some time, and so I pondered making a festive battle, just for the Christmas season. This is an altered suggestion by Scrawland Scribblescratch; Santa Claus, the jolly Christmas figure we all know and love, versus Jesus Christ, son of God. I know Santa Claus has already been used in an ERB, but I'm using him anyway, so there :P

Cast
Nice Peter as Santa Claus

EpicLLOYD as Elves (cameo)

Dante Cimadamore as Jesus Christ

Pat McIntyre as Judas Iscariot (cameo)

Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

SANTA CLAUS!

VERSUS!

JESUS CHRIST!

BEGIN!

Santa Claus:
Ho ho ho! It's time to spread the festive cheer,

By delivering your Christmas present, a jolly kick up the rear!

You stink even worse than the stable where you were born,

My raps will give a headache, even more than your crown of thorns,

I'll Jingle your Bells, my win will taste sweeter than candy canes,

Kiss my fist under the mistletoe, I'll show this son of God some pain,

I'm writing my lists down, it seems you've been naughty, not nice,

I'm here to diss out your religion, call me Saint Nick, the anit-Christ!

Jesus Christ:
You might have stolen my holiday when I was no longer alive,

But I don't really care, people stop believing in you when they turn five,

I've got twelve disciples, you've got midgets and reindeer,

You like children touching your sack, even though you only cum once a year,

I'm Jesus Christ, a Superstar, you're just a tub of lard filled with mince pies,

Figgy pudding, cookies and milk, I'm surprised you don't fall out of the sky!

Your craftsmanship is shoddy, I'd rather have a piece of coal,

Go back to your workshop, stop watching your old wife work the North Pole!

Santa Claus:
I know where you live, I've come to town to let you know,

My lines are like a Winter Wonderland, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

You were betrayed by your apostle, you're holy shit, that's my estimate,

I'm knocking you back all the way to the Old Testament!

Jesus Christ:
I made crucifixion my bitch, I'm tough as the nails in my wrists,

I'll tear you to shreds, just like your naughty and nice lists!

There's no room for you in Heaven, now it's your turn to get whipped,

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm far too busy being worshipped!

Amen.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Who won? Santa Claus Jesus Christ

Note
Thank you very much for reading this battle. It's not as long as it usually is, but it's my first in a while, so whatever :P

I hope you enjoyed this little festive battle :D