User blog:Hippie Rat/Buddha vs The Dude

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I give 100% permission to the use of my lyrics in any audio and/or visual production, as long as credit is given where credit is due. A beat can be requested if so necessary. It would also be appreciated that, if any lyrics are used, a link to the production be sent to me. Any questions and/or links can most easily be sent in my most recent blog. Thank you very much.

These are getting better, guys. Thanks to your critiques, I started changing my verse structure. Now they've conformed to the norm and I assure there will be no more of the poor verse decisions I've made.

Today we have Guatama Buddha, the founder of the Buddhist way of life, against Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski, laziest man in Los Angeles and inspiration for the Dudeist way of life, to compare the emotional calmness of these two religions and then some.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy :)



Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Buddha vs The Dude ! Begin!

The Dude:

It's The Dude, man! And Buddha's 'bout to get banned,

Like when those Chinese guys tried to get taught by your Monkey clan.

I mean, hey, if some Yoda guy wants to give me backwards shit,

Then he should goFar away, or his head will get a barcrow in it.

This religious pit stop Midway Shiva and Yahweh,

Man, what's Yogi Bear to the all the achievers, compadre?

You're a fat guy with a laundry bag, I got a fat guy with a handgun,

Taking down thugs and krauts while you levitate over a yoga rug.

You got the body of Rati, man, the Budd' looks like a lady.

And who the fuck would buy from a deli that sells llama meat?

Fuck Buddha, fuck the Himalayas, and fuck a Titicaca,

The Dude blows your mind like the last guy who led Nirvana!

Buddha:

Jeffrey Lebowski, the laziest man in the world, wants to step to me,

When he broke all five precepts over the course of one movie.

I vowed to never speak poorly of a fellow organism,

But I didn't fast just to watch some Dude make a mockery of Taoism.

The Jesus take the wheel? I'm driving Mahayana,

With my hands on the perfection of the Dharmachakra.

Your rug tied the room together, which is fine,

But it would've tied the whole universe together with a mandala design.

The Noble Truth is, Dude, you are many's samudaya,

You want to Dukkha with this and you got bad karma.

You got your dharmas backward with West misconceptions they told,

But all know that Buddha follows a better path than The Dude eightfold!

This piṭaka case played by a Buddhist student,

Is losing to the coolest Buddha who's using the smoothest prudence.

You foolish truant doofus, bring the handful of raps you can muster,

But do you have to use so many cuss words?

The Dude:

What the fuck are you talking about, man?

The Dude abides, Buddha is, like, fucking ancient, man.

This heir to the throne figured sitting under a tree would be cooler,

Man, I'll call you back when I need help fixing my fucking computer.

Buddha:

You know, those nihilists may actually get that johnson purloined,

Since for one to achieve araham, one must have their taint destroyed!

I'm the awakened one, you're the hungover one,

My followers are one with Buddha, and Buddha has just won.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Trivia

 * Prior to writing this battle, I had no interest in The Big Lebowski and never watched the movie. This suggestion was one of the rare moments where a connection/concept is so good I had to do it (other times this has happened include Winchesters vs Grimms, Light vs Jefferson, and Gatsby vs Grey).
 * Throughout the battle, a lot of false facts about Buddhism is mentioned by The Dude. This was intentional, done to poke fun at Western misconceptions about Buddhism (such as the mixup between Budai and Buddha, unnatural abilities of followers like levitation, mixups between Hindu beliefs and Buddhist beliefs, and the "llama deli – Dalai Lama" screwup). Basically, The Dude wouldn't know any better about Buddhism. To better clear this up, Buddha points out these mistakes in the "West misconceptions" line.
 * Was hinted on my page with the clue "-udisms".
 * A method-writing process was used while making this battle, as I meditated during writing to put myself in a mindset I could more imagine Buddha and The Dude being in.

Poll
Who won? Buddha The Dude