Talk:Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2/@comment-25061673-20170902044038

Found this on Reddit. A bunch of random quotes from Radiohead singer Thom Yorke

"Ironically my brother died in a car accident shortly after Airbag was recorded. He's not an identical twin so I didn't care." ~ Thom Yorke "I beat my children daily, with a shoe, because I don't want them to grow up fairies. At 9 p.m. I promptly play The Wall in full and walk around the house naked carrying cupcakes. It's important my children see my bits in graphic detail." ~ Thom Yorke "The allegations of me being a pedophile are spurious, at best. However I will admit that taking my knickers off in the park and having an Easter Egg hunt with those apple-cheeked four year olds was in my best interest and not theirs" ~ Thom Yorke "The band often jokes that I stole Jonny's "H" and put it in my name. That's funny as hell motherfucker I dare you not to laugh" ~ Thom Yorke "I've tried crowd surfing but the radiating light that surrounds me kept sending me floating into the heavens. Goddamn I'm beautiful" ~ Thom Yorke "It's not so much that I'm an atheist so much as the sneaking suspicion that I myself may be god" ~ Thom Yorke "If I could be any famous person, I'd be John Wilkes Booth, because I'd love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face" ~ Thom Yorke "If I could be reincarnated as an animal I would be a stout fat child so I could kill myself. I don't like fat people." ~ Thom Yorke "Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them." ~ Thom Yorke "Trying to find my flaws is like trying to find a black person at one of our concerts" ~ Thom Yorke "Hunting Bears is a complex song. A bear, as you know is another term for a chubby chaser. The guitar line is actually the sound of a fat man's thighs rubbing together as he approaches another lardy male for a night of sexual deviance." ~ Thom Yorke "Salad Spinner 46 is a pretty deep song, maybe the deepest I've written. What do you mean that's not one of my songs? I wrote the goddamn song, fuck you dad. laughs" ~ Thom Yorke "I'll regularly just burst out into laughter at funerals, at the expense of the dead. What's the difference between a dead person and Thom Yorke? One is talented and the other is dead. Fuck you grandma. laughs" ~ Thom Yorke "I sometimes have birthday parties for the kids in my neighborhood and then pretend to suggest that I am going to molest them to the parents. It's a hilarious prank even though I am not a pedophile. laughs" ~ Thom Yorke "Occasionally I'll just pull out a rifle and shoot one of my audience members. So far there have been no complaints filed." ~ Thom Yorke "2+2=5 wasn't intentional. I thought you carry a 1 every time there are two 2's in an equation. I'm not stupid, the mathematicians is stupid" ~ Thom Yorke "My father slapped my thighs with a variety of meats until I began to cry and sulked in the corner. I later became a musician" ~ Thom Yorke "Our merchandised may be over priced, but I think it's reasonable considering I only want more money." ~ Thom Yorke "Well I fucking do wish I was a balloon animal because then I wouldn't have to do the income tax. I'd just be a goddamn balooning animal and they'd be like 'who's thom?' he's a fucking balloon animal now asshole, fuck you motherfucker" ~ Thom Yorke "I wear lampshades on my head and stand in people's living rooms. They're like 'Billy can you go turn on the light?' and I whisper 'you mean turn on the thom yorke' chortle" ~ Thom Yorke "Turtles are, actually quite sexy, if you think about it. I'm getting an erection just thinking about turtles. No, not a stripper named turtles, that's not funny. Actual turtles." ~ Thom Yorke "I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society." ~ Thom Yorke "I am the greatest thing to happen to black music." ~ Thom Yorke "Make me breakfast or I'll kill you" ~ Thom to a 1980's Hewlett Packard computer "If it was called Bunting Hears that would be stupid shut the fuck up" ~ Thom Yorke "I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living." ~ Thom Yorke "The muffin pans watch you as you sleep. Staring into your soul." ~ Thom Yorke "This coffee cup is staring into my soul" ~ Thom Yorke "That hamburger is staring into my soul" ~ Thom Yorke "My soul, that dishwasher is staring into it" ~ Thom Yorke "They banned me from Sears, because I warned them all the appliances were staring into my soul" ~ Thom Yorke "Get in the goddamn time machine or perish!" ~ Thom screaming at a snowman "I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite." ~ Thom Yorke "They call me "coffee". I grind so fine." ~ Thom Yorke "Imagine? Yeah I can imagine John Lennon being dead." ~ Thom Yorke "Oh my god is that Thom Yorke?!" ~ Thom Yorke, screaming in a large crowd "Kid A is about an abortion. An abortion of the soul. Begins to cry, holds up air quotes Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke "If I could do just one thing to change the world, I'd make everyone Thom Yorke, and this would be paradise." ~ Thom Yorke "To protest, I stood in the place of a waste receptacle and opened my mouth. That's how I lost my virginity. laughs" ~ Thom Yorke "My son wouldn't eat his veggie chop and then I closed the blinds and touched myself furiously to asian octopus erotica. At 9 p.m. I promptly cried into my pillow and began to get into a fistfight with the potted plant near the door that looked like my father." ~ Thom Yorke "It turns out I had accidentally married a horse laughs But we won't be getting divorced." laughs ~ Thom Yorke "And I will be having sex with the horse" laughs "Maybe two horses" laughs "And your mother" laughs ~ Thom Yorke "Growing up I always wanted to be a potted plant, but my father, the bastard, told me that could never be." ~ Thom Yorke