User blog:Laboratory Tuxedo/ERB WIKI DEATHMATCH 4

LASSE

VS

STOFF

(Setting: Hawkia Gas Station)

(Lasse is walking to the drink station, anticipating a Wikislushee)

Lasse: Last serving left...looks like it is my lucky day.

(He reaches for a cup when suddenly, another hand tries to get the cup)

Lasse: Wha?

(Lasse sees that the other man is Stoff)

Stoff: Lasse?

Lasse: Stoff?

(Stoff swings his arm back, smacking Lasse in the face)

Lasse: AGH!

(Lasse spin kicks Stoff into a window)

Stoff: OOF!

Lasse: It's my Wikislushee!

Stoff: NO, IT'S MINE!

(Stoff grabs a box of powdered donuts and puffs the powder in Lasse's eyes)

Lasse: MY EYES, THEY BURN!

(Stoff dropkicks Lasse into a stack of boxes)

Stoff: Boom!

(Lasse charges swiftly into Stoff, causing him to fly into a ice cream cooler)

Lasse: That is how you hurt a person!

(Stoff limps out of the cooler and throws a icicle at Lasse's knee)

Lasse: AGHH!

Stoff: There is how you hurt a person!

(Lasse unsheathes a longsword)

Lasse: Humph....let's dance.

(Stoff reveals a cutlass sword)

Stoff: Alright...

(Lasse and Stoff charge at each other with swords)

Lasse: FAKE OUT!

(Lasse ducks Stoff's sword slash and dick punches him)

Stoff: OH!

(Lasse headbutts Stoff and kicks him into a soda machine, electricuting him)

Stoff: AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Stoff launches off and rams into Lasse)

Lasse: AHHH!

(Stoff pulls out his S-Rex claws)

Stoff: How I missed these things!

(Stoff cuts across Lasse's chest, sending sending Lasse flying across the room)

Lasse: WOAHH!

(Lasse lands on a lighter rack)

Lasse: AGH! Wait....

(Lasse grabs a lighter and a bottle of hairspray conveniently right next to the lighter rack)

Lasse: Stoff...you're fired!

(rimshot)

Lasse ignites the lighter and sprays the hairspray causing a stream of fire to blast across the room)

Stoff: PAPER SAVE!

(Stoff grabs a piece of paper that gets caught on fire and flies out the door due to high winds)

(Lasse runs out of hairspray)

Lasse: No more fire....

(Lasse uppercuts Stoff while Stoff does a jumping knee to throat smash)

Stoff and Lasse: AGHHH!

(Lasse and Stoff fall on the floor, exhausted)

Lasse: Oh...God

Stoff: Hmmm

(The flaming piece of paper flies into a giant gas storage tank)

Stoff: Plan....START!

(The gas tank explodes which causes a flaming shard of metal to hit a propane tank pile, instantly blowing it up, along with the whole gas station)

(The gas station is now a flaming waste)

Stoff: Woah...

(Stoff rises up from the wreckage, holding Lasse's dead body)

Stoff: VICTORY!

(Suddenly, a shard of glass falls from the sky and pierces Stoff's skull)

NO ONE WINS!

COUPE

VS

BTTF

(Setting: A parking lot)

(BTTF travels in the DeLorean, driving through the parking lot)

BTTF: ...So bored....

(Meanwhile, Coupe is travelling through time with the TARDIS and teleports in a empty parking spot in the same exact lot)

(BTTF sees the TARDIS and is reminded that Coupe owes him $20, he then sees Coupe walk out of the TARDIS)

BTTF: COUPE, MY $20!

Coupe: Oh....crap.

(BTTF goes 12 feet in front of the TARDIS)

BTTF: SURRENDER OR DIE!

(Coupe pulls out the Sonic Screwdriver)

Coupe: .....ALLONS-Y!

(Coupe fires the Sonic Screwdriver at BTTF's DeLorean, destabilizing it, causing the time circuits to overload and break)

BTTF: YOU BASTARD!

To be continued....