User blog:Hippie Rat/Democritus vs Aristotle

Yo I heard you like Epic Rap Battles of History. So I posted Shrek vs Gaben before this one. At your request. Nice one guys *clap clap*

Jokes aside, hey yo hi hello, welcome to my History of the Atom Rap Battle, featuring Democritus (the Greek philosopher who first came up with the concept of atomos), Aristotle (who denied it and thusly held back atomic research for millennia), Dalton (who revived the Atomic Theory), Thomson (who discovered electrons), Rutherford (who discovered the nucleus), Bohr (who discovered orbits), Heisenberg (who, with help from Schrödinger, discovered the uncertainty principle and orbitals), and Oppenheimer (the lead scientist in creation of the Atomic Bomb). This is a good one. I'm happy I did it.

I give 100% permission to the use of my lyrics in any audio and/or visual production, as long as credit is given where credit is due. A beat can be requested if so necessary. It would also be appreciated that, if any lyrics are used, a link to the production be sent to me. Any questions and/or links can most easily be sent in my most recent blog. Thank you very much.

Enjoy this one :)



Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Democritus vs Aristotle ! Begin!

Democritus:

See me chortle in the face of Aristotle,

Needs the transitive property to tell if someone is a mortal.

I would consider your science but it's kind of a rule of thumb:

Aristotle was popular but also really really dumb.

For more than two millennia the West believed in a series of false facts,

From atoms to slavery to eels, and what was the efficient cause of that?

Socratics aside, I ponder you'll compile,

Records of my high profile in the the Gift of the Nile.

Aristotle:

Yo! I'm the lean, keen, Mean, Golden theory machine!

And I expected these lesser theses from this telegenetic freak.

I invented logic, ask Play-Doh how it was molded by me,

While you stepped up to the scene but no one knew thee!

You take your thoughts from your teacher, I think on my own time,

So dope that the sixth element is my sick-ass rhymes.

I put my heart and soul in my disses, any monstrous missus like you knows that,

Your historical significance is minuscule, but I can still cut you in half!

John Dalton:

Hold up, Aristotle, but Democritus is right on,

Itty bitty specks of matter, 'tis the Theory of Atoms.

Name's Dalton, look it up, got the first Royal Medal,

Hella fly colourblind kind of guy with experimental evidence to break Democritus's pebbles.

You're mental, Aristotle, lack logic on birds and the bees,

I'm faster than gases and casting your partial pressures from the total pressure of me.

Combustible fire spit compound of every diss and syllable,

And like the atoms it's based on, my theory is indestructible!

J. J. Thomson:

There's a reason it's a theory, John: you missed the electrons,

You ain't got it written in stone and it's about to be revised by Thomson.

Making a toy out of a CRT years before the television,

And now I'm taking bites out your logic as if it's plum pudding.

I'm the dude who deflected neon to the conclusion of isotopes,

Thomson's scattering these lesser sciences and taking aether out the cathode.

Atoms can be divided by the electrons, and that's the theory I got an eye on,

I'm so positive of it that I'm attracting anions.

Ernest Rutherford:

Wait, let me squeeze right through this,

J, baby, you left out the nucleus!

My raps are golden like the foil I press alpha particles past,

And I'll absolutely, positively send some of your little licks back.

We work toward the same goal, but same poles repel,

Thus, I conclude the atom has a dense positively-charged middle.

Ernest's earnest findings have caused him to earn this,

Nobel Prize, Encyclopedia Brittanica's number one experimentalist!

Niels Bohr:

I'm known to debate with Einstein, but I'll make an exception for,

Orbits getting in the spotlight when Bohr scuffles with Rutherford.

Aside from the first, electrons fill energy levels by eights,

Bohr is far from a bore when I put them in an excited state.

Was gonna let Erwin at it, but it's time to let the cat out the bag: a battle

With these outdated physicists by using the quantum mechanics I dabbled.

My rhymes are out of this world, you can call it boron,

Bohr's ripping into the nucleus core of these morons.

Werner Heisenberg:

You might've dabbled, but I straight up created the term,

Werner's the winner of this skirmish, don't turbulent-flow with Heisenberg.

The probability of you winning is clouded when my photons glow bright,

Say my name. *sigh* Heisenberg. You're goddamn right!

So many ways to make you Lew's, I'mma call it resonance,

Don't even know how fast my flow when you knowing where I am.

You're uncertain, persons wish they could break a total pressure harder than bar,

I spit glitches in the matrix, and I'mma make y'all C*'s.

.....

J. Robert Oppenheimer:

My raps blow up like a mushroom Soundcloud,

So keep an Oppen mind as I build a verse up in Old McDonald House.

Manhattan Project dropping Gadgets once Japan gets us vicious,

Radioactive disses enough to send foes to kamikaze their britches.

Spit so hot, mere shadows replace any dudes from the hood,

Cooking messes in the desert worse than Heisenberg ever could.

The Father of the Atomic Bomb just spat a replica,

And taught these old chemists to never mess with America.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Trivia

 * As noted, this battle was suggested and inspired by The Boron Detective and references him and his series, Epic Rap Battles of This is Bohr-ing.
 * Schrödinger was going to appear, but I enjoy the idea of Pavlov vs Schrödinger more, so you may see that in my season 4. I can't make any promises yet though.
 * Chemistry has always been a large interest of mine, and one concept I had while writing was to have Oppenheimer essentially "teach" a bunch of things from the chemistry curriculum like stoichiometry and pressure laws and types of elements such as alkali metals and such. I decided against it in favor of focusing on what Oppenheimer actually did, although some remnants of the concept stay in other verses, such as Dalton's references to the Law of Total Pressures, which I otherwise wouldn't have included.
 * One scrapped idea was to have Aristotle go against scientists that have proved him wrong or pioneered sciences that was built upon to eventually prove him wrong, such as John Dalton, Isaac Newton, Galileo Galilei, and Gregor Mendel.

Poll
Who won? Democritus Aristotle Dalton Thomson Rutherford Bohr Heisenberg Oppenheimer

Who's next? The Invisible Man vs Frankenstein Buddha vs The Dude