User blog:NovaBomb123/Epic Rap Battles of Everything Episode 4 - Guy Fieri vs. Alton Brown

Today's episode of Epic Rap Battles of Everything is going to be Guy Fieri, host of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives versus Alton Brown, host of Good Eats

// Alton Brown - Verse 1// welcome to this Cutthroat Kitchen

where I deliver raps with precision

and i'm up against a giant living chicken

and hell that wasn't my decision.

burn your top, call it a creme brulee

beat this fat kid with extreme cruelty.

and i guess that's today's duty.

beat the exact definition of fruity.

i deliver science in good eats

you deliver food porn for creeps.

Guy's Grocery Games, what's behind the scenes

do you still think you know cuisine

when i'm done you'll be Feasting on Asphalt.

and in the end it will be your fault.

take this assault from a bald lord.

cuz in the end, you're coming up short.

//Guy Fieri - Verse 1// come on Brown, you don't wear the food crown.

this is a breakdown on my playground

you couldn't find directions to Flavor town.

guess you've been shutdown, you clown.

i've got more fans, call that a right on

i've got my eyes on this phenomenon.

you of all people acting less than calm.

so face this Guy Fieri napalm.

holy moli, Stromboli

your career has died slowly.

you're mostly lonely buddy.

you used to be somebody to society.

i know more about food than you

i thought you knew me and my crew

so you probably shouldn't continue

this food network star is an issue

//Alton Brown - Verse 2// c'mon Guy, we know you really want to cry

cuz you'll never run out of your pie supply

and Lori always complains you can't satisfy

so tell me why you deny my reply

i produced good eats for everyone

your shows are still out of season.

you exist as a show of treason.

so leave guy, you've been beaten.

you're no food network star

you look like NASCAR's avatar

your shows are nothing but sub par

you're a meme, it's really bizarre

you're nothing but a rehashed man vs. food

with a rude attitude who just got screwed

why have you continued, you're skewed

you're like butane, a bastard gas dude.

//Guy Fieri - Verse 2// well now you've got Guy off the Hook

you look shook, what, bad childhood

your luck sucks, like shucks, need some hugs

come on, these raps will stuff you like a duck

so, what happened to Justin Warner

scared he'd blow your shows out the water

maybe you didn't have the dollar or honor

so why bother fighting this monster

you're up against these grocery games

it's a shame you make these claims

you think you really have brains

and your christian values don't get dames

wait do you even have a restaurant

or did your dive ideas get dropped

you should have stayed smart and watched

you only lasted five episodes on chopped

//Ted Allen - Verse// look who's up on my chopping block

not a shock with the way you two talk

it's Ted Allen, it's okay if you gawk

my show is the real juggernaut

Guy couldn't even judge on my show

he'd blow through and just swallow

and being super positive is his motto

but his shows still all feel hollow

and Alton, this is the best you've gotten

it's not uncommon to feel rotten

especially when your show's forgotten

so get beat by the gay guy talkin

you're both about to get Chopped

cuz i'm well beyond a blonde

you both couldn't respond

cuz Ted Allen just can't be stopped.