User blog:Hippie Rat/How I Write a Rap Battle; Tips & Tricks

Hey yo hi hello

My ego has attacked and now I'm doing one of these blogs. I did it for fun so don't be all "Brendan's an egotistical twat" because some of you could stand to listen to some of this stuff. Or don't even read this blog. I just did this to pass my time because I was bored.

So the point of this blog is sort of a tips and tricks blog on writing a rap battle. Before I go too far I want to sorta explain that I'm not saying there's a right way to write a battle, but there is a my way. This is a showcase of how I do things. You may do things different, but whatever. If you're here with honest intentions of improving your lyrics, I hope I can help.

So to begin, I want to give my basic way of writing a battle, including how I choose which battles to do. Typically, I'll find a suggestion I at least moderately like, then I will try and come up with a line or two as fast as possible. This will cement the idea in my mind as a battle I will do. "Now I have lyrics. Good lyrics. This is going to be a good battle and I am going to write it now." The rest of my main process is kinda all over the place. I usually work on many battles at one time, only giving a specific battle focus when I've gotten a certain percentage of it written. This may not be how you prefer to do it, some of you may prefer to do it one at a time. That's just not me. I also come up with new jokes and lines and place them sorta randomly throughout the battle. You may not like to do that. You may prefer to do it line by line. That's okay, it's just not how I do things.

First Written Lyrics
As I mentioned, this is my first step when deciding to do a suggestion. I take the suggestion, consider it, think about some of the most generic information about the characters, and try to make a decent line or two as soon as possible so the challenge of starting to write is past me and I can continue writing at a comfortable pace. Some of you may find the first lines of a battle a bitch to write. Trust me, it's not as hard when the first lines aren't the actual first lines in the battle. On a common occasion, these first lines I come up with become my absolute favorite in the battle. Sometimes not but usually they are. I guess it's sorta the charm that since its generic references everyone will get the joke. Let's see some examples:

Homer:

I'm the hip-hoppinest hymn Homeric that's came to flow,

And you should remember that, because everybody, anybody, even Nobody knows!

(Meaning: hip-hoppinest hymn Homeric obviously has beautiful internal rhyme and alliteration. It's pretty. This couplet establishes Homer as a great (dare I say, epic) poet and by extension "hip-hopper" that absolutely everyone knows. To be known by everybody and anybody is a boast emphasizing the fame and popularity of someone or something, but you may notice that another category of people fall under it. It sounds like he's saying that so many people know him that the people that don't exist know him, but no. Nobody is a character from The Odyssey. You may know him by a different name: Odysseus. Nobody was the name Odysseus told was his to a cyclops as a trick.)

(Story behind it: This was actually an example of the line being written that inspired a matchup. I was on my way home from football practice when I freestyled something along the lines of "everybody, anybody, and nobody knows." I realized my mistake but liked the way it was punctuated to a point where I was trying to come up with a character to use it for. I remembered the story of Odysseus and the cyclops and decided Homer vs Dante would be fun to do and would help reintroduce my series to more historical characters. The line was reworked and I freestyled the line before it after about a minute of researching Homer.)

Indiana Jones:

I just beat the double-O into silent-O, now watch me whip.

(Meaning: well it seems like everyone got the meaning to this one quickly considering the overwhelming response to this line. For those who didn't, this is a reference to the dance song "Watch Me Whip" by Silento. Double-O (written as "00_") is the class of agents James Bond is assigned to. Indiana Jones is saying that he silenced James Bond, and finishes the battle with one last mocking gesture: the whip. The whip is a dance move popularized in 2015, with its popularity continuing way past when this battle was written. This dance move is constantly referenced in the aforementioned song, which includes the direct lyric "watch me whip". The whip is a dance move that features the person thrusting their arm in front of them in such a style as cracking a whip. Indiana Jones is famous in his movies for using a bullwhip in his adventures.)

(Story behind it: I was thinking about Indiana Jones in a rap battle while thinking about the dance move "the whip". The line was cemented into existence when I realized the name of the man who sang "Watch Me Whip" and the similarities between his stage name and the nickname of a popular Indiana Jones rap battle opponent.)

Elon Musk:

Smell those nontoxic emissions, that's my natural Musk!

(Meaning: what? I haven't made this battle yet! That's right, this blog also has previews to future battles, so pay attention. This line refers to the green engineering of Tesla Motors cars and the lack of toxic emissions. The smell of the lack of said toxic emissions of course is much cleaner than any toxic emissions. Also, it's a pun on Musk's name.)

(Story behind it: So my engineering class this year was hell. For the first half of the year we had an engineer who was new to teaching. He quit just before our semester exams. We spent the next half of a semester without a teacher, and finished the year with another engineer who's new to teaching. He's never going back to teaching from what I hear. The newer teacher was a stickler for green engineering. Our entire quarter of a year that we actually did anything in consisted of us learning the twelve principles of green engineering and memorizing it forwards and backwards. Basically, green engineering got so entangled in my head that I just had to use Elon Musk to satiate it.)

Now, on occasion, doing this actually made me leave a battle disappointed it didn't happen. Recently I was rewatching the top-notch quality that was XP9 Rap Battles (I highly recommend them, the guy who made those has always been so talented right from the beginning and these rap battles are like art) and decided I'd try to match up with my own version of Alexander the Great vs Link. Mind you, this was before Alexander the Great was confirmed to be a thing in ERB. What caused me to scrap it was hesitation after already having two battles with Link and the confirmation of Alexander the Great in ERB, which was just that final push that made me say "alright fuck it this battle isn't worth my time". But I was saying goodbye to a few lines I really enjoyed. These are those scrapped lines.

Alexander the Great:

Shrock, you whip a cock and got the flock bawkawking at ya,

While I get down and lay to bed rock on all the Alexandrias.

I'm a hip-hop machine and there's no stopping a,

Macedonian with good taste, man, this deku nut's a macadamia.

Boasting
The way I see it, there are three main kinds of lines in a battle: ones that boast about the person saying them, ones that diss the person they're against, and those that propose a connection between the two. There are other kinds, but those are kinda subcategories. Now, to boast about a character, you need to take the person's main claim in a battle, whether it's attitude, historical significance, or representation through metaphor, and talk about how exactly they're better. These lines are best used with certain literary devices such as internal rhyme scheme (assonance), repetition of consonant sounds (consonance), and alliteration. Let's see some examples:

Buddha:

Is losing to the coolest Buddha who's using the smoothest prudence.

(Buddha is boasting his imminent victory in the battle while keeping his cool. The point of Buddha vs The Dude is a battle between guys who can remain calm and brush it off when opposed. Here, we see that Buddha is calmly, smoothly, organizing his raps, demonstrating prudence.)

Donald Trump:

Almost his entire verse from ABHotUSoA:TRB

(This punchline of the battle was basically a huge political satire. We got Trump boasting about himself the entire time while inadvertently making himself look like a complete idiot, saying things like "ruining America's rep harder than Walmart" as if he's doing a good thing. The entire verse is a great example of boasting in character. That's an important thing: character. Make sure you're rapping like that person or it'll be kinda stupid.)

Walt Disney:

'''MGM, Fox, and Dreamworks? Well you better warn a brotha,'''

That Big D is 'boutta assimilate them into my dubya-dee-dubyas!

(Walt Disney vs Jim Henson 2 was basically Jim Henson, Kermit, and Stan Lee getting a rebuttal after Walt Disney third-partied in Stan Lee vs Jim Henson. It features Walt Disney in his corporation caricature from the battle in question, boasting his domination of the movie and merchandising business and how many different businesses have been assimilated into the Disney company by exaggerating the future of the company, saying he'd take in MGM, Fox, and Dreamworks. He does this by making a pun on Warner Brothers. Dubya-dee-dubyas is WDW, Walt Disney World, and a joking nickname for his genitals.)

Jesse James:

It's a blink-and-you-miss moment when I'm flowing and I'm throwing up my gun, (DRAW!)

(The point of Jesse James vs Billy the Kid is influential Wild West legendary outlaws. The battle is presented as if the two are involved in a duel against each other. "Draw" of course means "draw your weapon." Here, James boasts how fast of a gunslinger and rapper he is compared to Billy, saying its a blink-and-you-miss moment, or something so exaggeratedly fast that if you blink you can miss it happening. Jesse James reportedly had a condition that caused him to constantly blink at rapid intervals. Basically he's using his own handicap in his favor. That's another good thing to do. But don't use it too much.)

Amelia Earhart:

I'm an exemplary heroine, faring daring sea air on a wing and a prayer,

Any "beware"s, I don't care, man, my heart's in the air.

(The point of this battle is to find out who, while failing to complete a circumnavigation of the Earth, still represents a bigger impact in interest of exploration and adventure. There's a lot of assonance here. We got Earhart bragging of being a great female hero who faces transoceanic flying challenges "on a wing and a prayer" (with the slightest chance of success) and ignores people telling her she can't do it, as she believes in herself and has her "heart in the air" (a deep passion for flying). Two main puns, "on a wing and a prayer" is a pun on the wing of a plane, and "heart's in the air" is a pun on Amelia's last name, Earhart.)

Dissing
Now we get into the parts where people are actually insulting each other. The best disses take the point of the battle and exploits how the opponent failed to live up to it. The best puns are known to come from the disses and help make disses the most loved lines of the battle, so get very clever with these. These don't necessarily have to be as metered as boasting lines as long as they pack a good punch.

Ethan Mars:

Let's tell a little tale of a Telltale wannabe,

Lost his sis, lost his mind, now he's losing against me.

(The point of this battle was to find who repped the best story-driven game based on player's choice and reactions. Ethan Mars calls Washington out on being a Telltale wannabe, as many game mechanics, including dialogue options and character relations, are very similar to those of games such as The Walking Dead Video Game and The Wolf Among Us by Telltale Games. Pun on "Telltale." He then digs deep to say that Josh is losing the rap battle just as he previously lost his sister and his mind.)

Homer Simpson:

With all that blood and glitter, you're like the animated Twilight!

(The point of this battle was to find out what style of animation is better, the work done by Western studios, or Eastern studios. So a lot of the jabs were aimed toward animation style. Here Homer calls Death Note the "animated Twilight" for its use of blood and glitter, as Twilight is a saga centered around vampires that infamously shown vampires as sparkling in the sunlight. The Twilight Saga has been severely panned to a point of comparison becoming insult. The line is also meant to extend to anime in general, which usually has two main styles: gloomy & bloody and fun & flashy.)

Dr. Strangelove:

'''Mein Führter! I got the swagger that clams up the whole War Room!'''

I just served the worst wurst and the worst verse with a side of shrooms.

(Puns. Puns are fun. And I dug into the puns here. First line: "Mein Führer! I can walk!" are the last words spoken in How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb''. The scene has Strangelove standing up during a heated argument and exclaiming this in the excitement. The action causes everyone to stop talking, followed by the end credits sequence. He claims that his "swagger", or style of walk, is enough to silence everyone in the War Room, the main room in the movie. In doing so he makes a pun on Frank-N-Furter's name, specifically the Furter part. Second line: "Frank-N-Furter" is a pun on the word "frankfurter", which is a hot dog sausage. In Germany, Strangelove's birth country, a special sausage similar to frankfurters are "wursts". The word "wurst" sounds like "worst" so homophones were used here, all to "serve" Frank-N-Furter. The line is presented as if he is serving a hot dog with a side of mushrooms. Portobellos most likely, they actually go very well with hot dogs. Add some sautéed vegetables and you got a really good meal there. But wait? Isn't the "mein führer" line supposed to be it? Well yeah, it's followed by a grand finale with many clips of explosions, most forming mushroom clouds. "Mushrooms" you say? Yes, I followed the "mein führer" line with the next thing in the movie. That's kitchen tile.)''

Dom Cobb:

You flipped shit when your brothers and daddy got killed off,

So how you think you're going hard, when clearly Ubisoft?

(I mean, it kinda had to happen with literally any Ubisoft character. Ubisoft, "you be soft". Soft is the opposite of hard, so since he's soft he isn't going hard. Family death diss. It all hits below the belt.)

Charles Manson:

The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that they make a neat rug.

Ask Owl "hoo"dunnit.

And tell your little pink friend that we're having bacon tonight.

(These lines are still in the first phase where I have the punchline figured out but the couplets aren't complete, but the whole sequence here is meant to give a scenario where Manson is killing all of his opponent's friends. He'll turn Tigger into a tiger pelt rug (parodying catch phrase "The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that I'm the only one"). A whodunnit is a sort of murder mystery story, using the pun "hoo", the sound owls such as the one from his opponent's story make. And he'll kill, cook, and eat Piglet (because bacon comes from pigs hahahahahaha). It's supposed to show the insanity of Manson, as the connection is basically super crazy insane vs incredibly tame, while really deeply emotionally hurting his opponent.)

Connections
Okay but what about if you want to reference everyone in a line? Make reference to the rapper and the opponent at once? Then find those little itty bitty similarities or huge differences or fuck it just whatever that you can talk about everyone with. Think "Doc J dunk on you like boom shakalaka." Need examples? Alrighty then.

Mr. Hyde:

Your Monster is an ugly motherfucker who brought fear to his creator?

That's like my story plus the whole "being written by a girl" factor.

(Both Frankenstein and Jekyll & Hyde follow stories of scientists creating ugly monsters that the scientist goes on to fear. Difference is, the authors. Jekyll & Hyde was written by Robert Louis Stevenson. Frankenstein was written by Mary Shelley. Back when these books were written, well let's just say females weren't as well respected. So it's meant as an insult that he was written by a girl. No offense girls, it was just a different time.)

Freddy Fazbear:

Skinny men like you make it easier to stuff a mascot,

'''You're calling me a sellout? You be asking for them Jacksons!'''

''(I don't know what it is about VGRB. I can assume his writing has improved after seeing the lyrics he contributed for Mario vs Sonic, but geez his writing is/was bad. Especially in his Fazbear vs Slender where he should have improved with time, as he had been doing this for years, but that was just...it wasn't good. I don't know if he rushed the writing so he can jump on the fame of FNaF quickly, but it just was not good. Anyway, this couplet is practically a chisel of some of his lines, not only from that battle, but also from Slenderman vs Herobrine. "I murder for blood, you just want some cash." "You're on the twenty-dollar mode, that's why you're not scared." "Where we took your useless body and stuffed it in a real suit." Those are some bare bones rhymes right there. It needs improving. How? Okay so we'll take the idea of Slender being stuffed in a suit. But are we going to just say Fazbear will stuff him in a suit? No. That's too easy. We're going to imply it. Like "boy it would suck if you ended up stuffed in a bear suit huh". So what physical attributions of Slender Man would contribute to this implication? He's skinny! Skinny as all hell! It'll be so fucking easy to stuff his bulimic ass in a bear suit. So let's say that. Boom connection drawn. And hell, you really want to go and call Fazbear out for selling out to franchising? Well fuck you, Slender Man, what about that meme where you literally were just walking around asking dudes for twenty bucks, or a Jackson? Don't just say it. Be clever with it.)''

James Bond:

Powers to groove you just the way your step-mother likes!

You fucked the same gal as your father, gotcha on stage with Jerry,

Have Shia LaBeouf as a son, and who's your daddy?

My Henry should've served this baby shaken, not stirred.

(I'm not going to go into as much detail on this one. Sean Connery played James Bond and Henry Jones, Indiana Jones's dad. That was the basis of like 10% of the jokes in that battle.)

J. Robert Oppenheimer:

Cooking messes in the desert worse than Heisenberg ever could.

(Pun on Werner Heisenberg, quantum physicist who had previously rapped in the battle, and Heisenberg, alias of Walter White in Breaking Bad. In Breaking Bad, Heisenberg would cook meth in the Albuquerque Desert. Oppenheimer made the atomic bomb, which was tested on in the desert.)

Chloe Price:

Is filling Frank and his dog Don in its opinion over imminent insolence,

While this fluffy bunny is soft as Kate Marsh's!

''(Frank. In Life is Strange he's a drug dealer on bad ties with Chloe. He has a dog named Pompidou. In Donnie Darko he's a weird spirit dressed in a rabbit suit who guides Donnie. Some can say the way he controls Donnie makes Donnie more of a sort of trained dog. So it's Frank and his dog Pompidou connected with Frank and his dog Donnie Darko. Also an "impetus" is a driving force, as Chloe is basically the driving force behind the events in the game. Otherwise, there's one other bunny in Life is Strange (at least I think that's the only one). Kate Marsh is a student at Max's school who is driven to suicide after a video is posted online of her doing unclarified sinful sexual things. In the events of the game, Max Caulfield is given the responsibility of looking after Kate's pet bunny, Alice, after her incident. Alice is an adorable bunny, while Frank is made to be the thing of nightmares. Chloe insults him by saying he's soft, or not rough and violent, as one should be in a fight.)''

Concession & Refutation
Okay now this is an every once in a while thing to do. In arguments, a concession is recognition of a point made by the opposing side, and a refutation is a direct comeback at that point. When you do use it, be smart. Don't bring up a point against the rapper unless they have something to say against it. Never ever do that. Examples.

Slender Man:

You were frightening, bringing fear into the boys and girls,

Then you fucked your whole series up with Five Nights World.

Now you're a commercialized franchise, glitched short circuit gurgle,

Just like Chuck E. Cheese, looks like you gone full circle.

''(Slender Man concedes that Fazbear at least used to be scary and applauds his ability to bring fright all around the Internet. Then he points out how he's not scary anymore. He fucked it up with one game. FNAF World. An RPG by ScottGames that featured the FNaF characters in a new cutesy form, negating the previous scares. Now he's a commercialized franchise. He sold out. He's sending out games left and right to hold on to the fame and continue to earn money from this gold mine of a series. He even has a movie deal. Every game he becomes more and more decrepit in-game to appear more scary (when they're trying to be scary), becoming glitched, short-circuiting, gurgling with his broken speaker. He went down the same path as Chuck E. Cheese, the children's-themed pizza parlor and arcade Freddy Fazbear's Pizza is based on. Selling out, cranking out new and improved game cabinets with sponsors and all that fancy stuff, commercializing, rebranding, changing the look of the mascot, all while never spending money on a good mechanic. Seriously, if you enter a Chuck E. Cheese these days, those animatronics on stage are broken to shit. At my local one, rust was rubbing off on the hen's fur, almost everyone's eyes were broken and looking like the vulture eye from Tell-Tale Heart, part of the Super Mario guy's head was torn to shit, and Chuck E. Cheese's servos were locked save for the occasional twitch. And that just scratches the surface. They are all glitched, short-circuiting, with gurgling speakers. To make a long story short, Freddy Fazbear went full circle, starting as a Chuck E. Cheese parody, going on to be a new hit thing as its own series, until it just sells out and breaks down as much as Chuck E. Cheese. '''See? Much better than just saying "hur dur you're a Chuck E. Cheese ripoff" in a battle.''' Also, if you want to interpret it this way, "full circle" could be a fat joke. Since Fazbear has a lot of girth to him compared to the skinny Slender Man.)''

Lee Harvey Oswald:

Read up on that fateful day in Sarajevo, must give a hearty "good job,"

To the first guy to hit the right car in his firing squad.

But with that pistol to your head, you meant to be dead,

Before they could arrest the men who led,

Europe to a wasteland with the earth painted red,

Too bad it jammed before you could eat that lead.

(Oswald hits with a concession commending his opponent and his more competent shooting. He refutes this by talking about how he failed to complete the mission, as his opponent was meant to shoot himself in the head immediately after, but was arrested before he could. He also calls him out for screwing up Europe by causing the Great War.)

Do's

 * Use a good bit of internal rhymes. It makes it more entertaining
 * Same with meter. Have a nice meter on a normal basis
 * Do good research on your characters
 * Take those cliché lines and do something clever with them
 * What is the point of the battle? Exploit that!
 * What do you want to reference? How can you further that reference to make it come full circle? Do that as much as possible
 * Stay in character!
 * Exploit weaknesses. Whether it's the person rapping using their own weakness to their advantage or someone using their weakness as a good place to stab someone make sure you use it

Don'ts

 * Refrain from using filler. It's boring
 * Don't do too much research on your characters. We don't need you to rap the exact box office figures of Jurassic World or something silly like that
 * Don't make everything too cliché. Those puns that literally everyone and their mothers do in every battle with that character? Try to stay away from that
 * Do not use bad grammar. This is probably the worst thing you can do in a rap battle. Bad grammar can completely change what you're saying, who it's directed toward and can just all around make the battle a complete mess
 * Don't say something you just wouldn't expect to hear someone say in a rap battle. Things like "critics gave you bad reviews." Just say people hate it, don't get all technical like that

Conclusion
While all the things I talked about are great and all finding your own style is one of the most important things. It makes it yours. How do you find your style? Go and listen to your favorite music, meditate, play a mental game like a Rubik's cube to get your mind working. Something that you can sit down and think about what you're doing clearly until it comes naturally. Don't just take what I said as a step by step process for writing a battle. I didn't even give a step by step process. There's still a bunch of gaps you need to fill in, and whatever you do don't fill those gaps with filler. Find a style and perfect it.

But most importantly find something that makes you happy. If writing a rap battle starts to become a tedious chore and you'd rather go play a video game or read a book go ahead. Just find a nice hobby that can help keep you mentally active and happy. Have a great day.