User blog:SophisticatedShark/Bad Battle Suggestions 3 - Ylvis vs God

Sent a few hours designing a logo last night. Typography is a lot harder than it looks. Also on an unrelated note, I probably won't be going onto the chat until I get the disconnection problem resolved. It keeps disconnecting me and when I log back in it kicks me for sockpuppeting. Also I'm not a sock puppet.

So without furthur a do, this battle features the Norweigan comedy musician duo, Vegard and Bård Ylvisåker, versus the lord himself, God.



BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTORY

YLVIS

VS

GOOOOODDD

BEGIN!!!

God It seems that Noah forgot these two beasts on his Arc

I gave salvation to the people when the Ages were Dark

While these O-Fags lost in Ikea will Never Be Stars

Check Michelangelo if you really want a real taste in art

I’m a Rap God you Toots, lemme preach you a lesson

I give a testament, prepare for divine intervention

I'm omnipresent, omnipotent when I roast my opponents

Stick to talent shows you hoaxes before I give you a stonin’

I'm perceived with pure power, from Sistine to Morgan Freeman

I spit a fiery damnation on these furry-dressing demons

You’ve got Youtube fame while I get billions to pray

So make like a fox, and tell me what you have to say

Ylvis
Let's give this divine being a third degree iconoclasm

Slow down bro, don't want to cause a religious type of spasm

But just like my name, Bård, I spit these poems out amok

Cause when this comedy squad rocks this Intolerant god

We bring a bloodbath iller than your pitiful Crusades

And yet we still have people murder each other in your name

Even with "Shall not kill" in the translations of your page

There’s Norway you can for today we take the stage

Meaningless as Stonehenge, you're an embodiment with sin

Pouring floods, banging married women, and killing children

Not tryna' sound atheist, but we just wanted to seal

that Ylvis doesn't believe that your style's even real

God
That's enough of you mortals! You still think you can win this?

I've got the Church and the bishops that will leave you diminished

Cause when I spit it like a scripture, you can say I killed med Ylvis

With just a lift of a finger, this measly battle could be finished

Who do you think you’re messing with? I’m the Pope’s dopest homes

I send you back to Massachusetts and shut down your whole show

I one-hit these wonders, I light you up like Man

Who knew Adam and Eve would lead to these jibber-jabbing shams

Ylvis
God damn, that was horrible, you're cracking under Pressure

Let’s turn this up battle and put a Ylvisåke in this agressor

We attack this old hack who's as dry as his crackers

Tie you in a Trucker's Hitch when we Work It on this bastard

We’re drop holy hand grenades when we work on the scene

From BC to BC, with crazy sleazies on their knees

Send you back to Peter’s gates cause since this battle’s done

You’ll call us Holy Rome: we’ve nailed you harder than your son

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!



BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTORY!!!

 Who Won? God Ylvis

''Bad Battles Suggestions is a series I created to challenge my creativity and have fun as opposed to doing regular boring rap battles. If you find a suggestion that you truly think is atrocious, screencap it and post it in the comments.''