User blog:LakuitaBro01.2/Total Drama Elevation - Holmes, Explain!

(The scene sits on New York City. In a time lapse, cars begin to jam the intersections throughout the city. Starting off slow, the camera goes through the streets, eventually reaching a giant skyscraper and panning around it. It stops at the main doors where a man stands next to a podium. A small stage prop and a mic stand sit behind him.)

Steeler: Welcome to Total Drama Elevation! The show where teenagers from across the country come together on two separate teams and said two teams go against each other to win a million dollars and adminship. Each week the contestants will compete in challenges in this Skyscraper. And again, each week, they will go up a floor to face that challenge. This sky scraper was only built recently just for this show, as I designed it, you can expect hell in there on the later floors. But enough chit chat over the place, here comes our competitors!

(A bus pulls up and as the doors open… hell breaks loose.)

Skeep: You’re really getting on my nerves, bro.

Leandro: I’m getting onto YOUR nerves? You’re the one who wouldn’t shut up the whole way here.

Skeep: Like you didn’t do anything either. Just because YOU find me making friends annoying doesn’t mean your ass can punch me, repeatedly.

Poskitch *on her phone, sarcastically*: Well this is fun so far.

Steeler: Welcome to New York City, everyone!

Lab: Kiss my ass, old man. You could have gotten us a bus that wouldn’t break down, twice at that.

Steeler: Should I care? No. As I was saying, you will be split onto two teams and as I say your names, you will go to either the mic stand or the stage behind me. Clear?

Positive: Clear, sir!

Steeler: I can tell I’m gonna like you. Anyways, the people that will stand behind the mic will be Cave, Poskitch, Night, Jaguar, Meat, Positive, Metal, Savage, Teddy, Lexi, Skeep, and Leandro!

Skeep: Oh fuck this already.

Night: Deal with it.

Steeler: You will be known as Team Pass the Mic! And the people that will stand behind the stage are SANT, Apple, Devil, Bantha, Dan, Mit, Sierra, Lak, Dragon, Tkid, Amon, and Lab!

Devil: I can work with this…

Devil: Look, I’m not here to “make friends” and to “have fun”. I’m here to get the money, and I’ll do WHATEVER it takes to do so.

Steeler: If you all will follow me inside, I will show you your rooms and where you will sleep for these next few months.

(The scene changes to Team Pass the Mic’s room where everyone is getting their stuff put away.)

Night: So… uhh… should we get to know each other?

Leandro: Sure, I’ll start. I am Leandro, I’m currently working to be an artist on photoshop, I currently have a lot of detailed pictures on there and that’s it.

Poskitch: I’m Poskitch and I hate all your guts… *returns to her phone*

Teddy: … I’m Teddy, I guess…

Night: This isn’t getting anywhere, forget that I even said anything.

(Everyone returns to their stuff until Jag starts breathing heavily and punches a hole in the wall.)

Skeep: Woah, man, are you okay?

Jag: Jag gon shir!

Metal: He okay?

Lexi: He’s saying that his shirt is gone, the writer’s just want his character to have butchered language.

Savage: Writers? Little girl, what are you talking about?

Lexi: Oh, you’re not aware you’re in a story? I forgot, sorry!

Savage: Story- ah screw it.

(The camera switches over to Team Take the Stage’s room where they’re just sitting around and talking)

Bantha: So what are ya’ll into?

Bantha: I can tell by looking at all the others that starting a conversation like that won’t be easy.

Sierra: Tumblr. Twitter. Other stuff like that.

Amon: Trying to be equal in life by treating everyone share.

Lab: Wee-

Tkid: EXPLOSIONS!

Lab: Bro, was I talking?

Mit: We all know what you were gonna say, homie, you don’t need to repeat yo’self.

Dragon: Pfft, you’re funny.

Mit: What, man.

Dragon: Well, you’re white and try to act like you’re from the hood. Which doesn’t work.

Mit: How doesn’t that work?

Dragon: Well only black people are from the hood.

Sierra: Bruh. You did not just go there.

Dragon: It’s true…

Apple: Bad start, dude.

Dragon: I don’t realize what I say sometimes and that causes me to screw myself over.

(The scene changes to the elevators in the middle of the skyscraper, just outside the teams’ rooms)

Steeler: Welcome to the first challenge, everyone! We have a special guest to help with it!

Dan: And that is…

(The doors behind them open. Two men walk through, a man smoking a pipe and wearing a duck bill hat. The other wears a top hat and is shorter.)

Steeler: Please welcome Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson!

Sherlock Holmes: I dare say that this is an amazing layout for this, er, competition of yours, Steeler!

Steeler: Thank you. Do you care to explain the challenge to our contestants.

Sherlock Holmes: Undoubtedly. Today, for your first challenge, you all will partake on separate murder cases, fake murder cases at that.

Watson: Each one has their own way of death. Team Take the Stage, you will take the murder case of PhineasFlynn, who was reportedly stabbed to death.

Sherlock Holmes: And you, Team Pass the Mic will take the murder case of Poptropica, who was shot three times in the head. Each of your teams’ clues will be on the respective paths to your left and right. Team Take the Stage, go to the path on the right. Team Pass the Mic, go to the path on your left.

Watson: You all have three hours to complete this challenge! Chop chop!

(Steeler blows a whistle and the two teams start off through the first floor.)

TEAM TAKE THE STAGE

Bantha: Alright, so our guy was stabbed, right? We have to find something related to that…

SANT: Like what? A knife, a note, a card?

Dan: Whatever it is, we have to find it, fast!

(The team splits up in a room full of filing cabinets. Sierra picks up a piece of paper, examines it, and then throws it over her shoulder. Devil throws paper everywhere furiously. Lak keeps grabbing paper and putting it over his head, does his rendition of the Legend of Zelda theme, and then throws the paper aside. After a while Lab stops and yells in anger)

Lab: This is pointless! All these papers are blank, white, nothing on it!

Apple: Kid, calm the hell down. There has to be something here on one of these papers.

Lab: Oh, yeah, you all do that and waste our time-

Lak: *utters a horrible rendition of the Legend of Zelda theme* I found the dungeon item.

Mit: Hey, why are you holding the paper in the air, son!

Lak: Because I found something important!

Mit: Give it to someone damnit!

Lak: No! On the behalf of the kingdom of Flagstaff, I will save Princess Ashlyn from the evil wizard Fugon!

Mit: Fo’ real man? I’ll mess you up!

(Lak unsheathes a stick from his belt and prepares to attack Mit, who cracks his knuckles. Devil sighes and then knocks both of them out in two punches.)

Amon: You heathen, we musn’t do stuff like this if equality is to be achieved!

Devil: I knocked both of them out, therefore they’re equal.

Amon: But-

Devil: Listen pal, I’m not here to make friends. Now stop whining and let’s go.

(He starts to leave but Amon begins to say something. Devil turns around, glaring at him)

Devil: You better do it MY way, or I’ll throw you into traffic.

(He exits the room with others following him. Mit and Lak get up and follow, leaving behind Dan, who picks up the clue and stares at it. It’s still a white piece of paper with a chapel on it.)

TEAM PASS THE MIC

(Team Pass the Mic seems to be getting along better then they were before. After a while of searching the room, all they find is a piece of wood that was sticking out of the wall.)

Night: Alright, team, let’s go and get that second clue!

Jag: *grunts*

(Each one of them file out of the room. Meat pulls Positive aside and puts her against a wall.)

Meat: Hey, I didn’t catch your name.

Positive: oh, umm… my name is Positive.

Meat: That’s a nice name. My name is Meat.

Positive: Nice to meet you, Meat. Should we be going with the others?

Meat: Have you ever heard the sex song?

Positive: What? Okay, I-I’m gonna go.

Meat: Ah, fuck, wait!

(Meat grabs Positive’s arm and in response, she pins his arm behind his back and then forces him to the ground.)

Positive: Do that again, I DARE you!

Meat: No, no, wait, wait. I didn’t mean to say that. I have a problem, whenever I talk to anyone, I always end up accidentally flirting and I can go to extremes, I didn’t mean to say that I swear!

Positive: Oh yeah, then why did you put me up against the wall?!

Meat: Look, I was wondering if we could create an alliance. It would give us a better shot of making it farther in this thing.

Positive: I don’t trust you…

Meat: Look, I would never, ever harass a woman, ever.

Positive: Hmm… an alliance DOES sound nice…

Meat: Yeah, it does. So can you let go of my arm and then we can go after our team?

(Positive lets go of his arm and Meat gets up, rubbing his shoulder.)

Meat: Again, sorry.

Positive: It’s alright, but another wrong move and you’ll be on my bad side, something you won’t want…

Meat: Yeah, I don’t. Let’s go.

(Meat and Positive go off after their team.)

Meat: Okay, I kinda sorta lied about the problem where I can’t talk to people without flirting. I just really like flirting. And I don’t care if it didn’t go the way I planned, I have an alliance.

Positive: If he’s telling the truth about him accidentally flirting, yeah, I’ll work with him.

TEAM TAKE THE STAGE

(The whole team stands in disbelief in their next room. It’s full of computers, all of which are on. A sign above them reads “The clue is in here”.)

Dragon: This will take a long time. Welp, I guess we should get started.

Apple: No, wait.

Devil: What is it?

Apple: You all go on ahead, I can do this myself.

Lab: Yeah, and Abraham Lincoln didn’t save the slaves.

Apple: No, this involves computers. And as I can see, I’m the only one who can work on one.

Sierra: That’s not true-

Dragon: Woman can’t work on computers, a Tumblr user, none the less.

Bantha: Dragon, really?

Dragon: Fuck, sorry-

Sierra: You know what, screw you…

Dragon: God damnit not again…

Apple: I’m a computer whiz, just trust me on this.

(The teams does as he commands.)

TEAM PASS THE MIC

(It’s a room full of boxes. There are a few crowbars laying in front of them and Cave moves to pick one up.)

Cave: Let’s get to work, then.

Lexi: No, wait, I have an idea.

Savage: And what exactly is that, little girl?

Lexi: UNLEASH THE ELEPHANTS!

(Lexi throws a much of full grown elephants out of her pocket. They stampede through the room and then they disappear.)

Lexi: Now let’s look for the clue.

(Everyone, except for Poskitch, searches through the rubble to find the clue. Meat holds a gun up in the air.)

Meat: ♪Murder weapon♪! No ladies use this as a dildo, now.

Poskitch: Ugh…

(The team exits and leaves behind Cave, who holds a crowbar in his hand.)

Cave: I’m gonna keep this for later.

TEAM TAKE THE STAGE

(The room with the Team’s final clue has monkey bars stretching from the door up to a ledge with the clue on it.)

Sierra: There it is… the rarest Pepe…

Bantha: Who will go up there?

Lab: I will!

(Lab begins to climb the monkey bars. At about halfway, he stops and begins to swing back and forth joyfully.)

Lab: WEEE!

Amon: Someone else go up there and get the clue…

SANT: Behold! My ka-ra-te skills!

(SANT climbs up the monkey bars fairly quickly and then grabs the clue. He climbs back down and presents the clue, a top hat.)

SANT: Let’s go.

(The team leaves.)

Lab: Hey guys! Wait for me!

TEAM PASS THE MIC

(The team enters their last room. All there is are metal boxes stacked on top of each other with an apple on top.)

Night: The last clue! How do we get it down?

Lexi: Hold on, let me get the elephant out again.

(Lexi reaches into her pocket but is stopped as Jag rushes forward and begins to punch the boxes across the room.)

Jag: Jag bo punh!

(Jag then grabs the apple and then eats it in one bite.)

Teddy: You idiot! Why did you do that?!

Leandro: Great, we just lost the challenge…

Jag: Jag apple crunc…

(Jag sticks out his tongue, revealing bits of a card. He sticks his tongue back in and continues to chew.)

Skeep: Let’s just go back now. We’ll get to the voting off later.

(They all go back to the main lobby.)

TEAM TAKE THE STAGE

(The team enters the computer room where Apple stands in the center.)

Amon: Apple, do you have the clue.

(Apple smiles and then holds up a piece of paper. On it is a picture of a carriage.)

Apple: Let’s go.

(The scene changes to the lobby. Sherlock Holmes walks over to Team Take the Stage.)

Sherlock Holmes: Where are your clues?

(The team presents the clues. The white piece of paper with a chapel on it, the carriage on the paper, and the top hat.)

Sherlock Holmes: Congratulations! But, one question: Who is the killer?

(The team ponders for a few minutes before Mit speaks up.)

Mit: Yo, there’s a chapel on white paper. A White Chapel. There is a carriage, and a top hat. And if the murder be shankin’… the murderer be Jack the Ripper.

Sherlock Holmes: Correct! But, what about the other team?

(Sherlock Holmes walks over to the other team, who presents the piece of wood and the gun.)

Sherlock Holmes: Where is the third clue?

Poskitch: Dumbass here ate it.

(Jag breathes heavily and slaps Poskitch’s phone out of her hand.)

Jag: *roars*

Sherlock Holmes: Oh well, you lose. Clint Eastwood was the murderer anyways. Steeler! Me and Watson shall be on our way, you can take over now.

Steeler: Alright, Team Pass the Mic, meet me out here in front of the elevator in an hour. Be sure to stop by the confessional to cast your vote.

Metal: It’s obvious as to who will be voted off.

Cave: Jag’s out.

Jag: Jag hur stoma appl from

(The team stands in front of Steeler. He holds eleven hot dogs on a tray and begins to read off the list of people who are safe.)

Steeler: The following are safe: Meat, Poskitch, Positive, Cave, Metal, Savage, Night, Lexi, Skeep, and Leandro. Jag and Teddy, you’re both on the chopping block. Jag, you are because you ruined the challenge for your team. Teddy, you are because Jag put a random vote. The obvious loser is Jag.

(Jag grunts, gets up, and then heads for the door.)

Steeler: Wait up, big guy! You have to take the Broken Elevator of Doom!

Night: How the hell does that work?

Steeler: Let me show you! Just a hint, it’s broken in a different way. Jag, get in the elevator.

(Jag does so and looks at all the buttons.)

Steeler: Go on! Press a button!

(Jag presses one, causing the elevator to shoot up to the top floor quickly, before it crashes back down. Jag steps out dizzy and falls odwn. Some interns then carry him and his stuff into a taxi. The rest of the team walk back to their room, terrified. Steeler stands outside and begins his ending speech.)

Steeler: And so concludes our first episode of Total Drama Elevation! With the big muscle out of here, who will have a vomit induced joy ride next? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Elevation!