User blog:Rob Tick/Ronald Reagan vs Joseph Stalin

Ronald Reagan:
Settle down. Everyone, thank you for electing me to a second term. I would like to thank you for giving me an opportunity to serve and pro--

(Shots ring out from a building across the street. In the panic, a shadowy figure approaches the president. Beat starts.)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

Secret Service Agent:
Mr President, go!

(Agent is shot down.)

Ronald Reagan:
Who the hell are you?!

I said, who the fucking hell are you?!



                                                                 VERSUS!

(Figure steps out of the shadows, and is revealed to be...)





Joseph Stalin:
I'm going 9/11 on your powerless country,

I can see that your rhymes are as poor as your family!

Just because the War ended doesn't mean you're loose,

Like the Wall, I'll fall on you! I'm the Russian Bull Moose!

I'm the Man of Steel, you're the leader of the Actors Guild,

Like those assassins I sent to Trotsky, I'm armed to kill!

You made an ineffective program  and ultimately lost the DARE,

You won the biggest landslide in history?  Really, no one cares!

You're deceiving yourself, this one man's the evil empire!

I'm America's kryptonite, I shoot lasers and spit fire!

You've had your turn at bat, so sit in your stupid chair,

Mother Russia's more devastating than The Contra affair.

Ronald Reagan:
Mr. Stalin, I hope there's some way we can work this out,

But you're a glorified Secretary, this isn't your only lost bout!

Would you mind, I'm trying to run a country not broken;

By a stupid little wall, I am democracy's token!

You ran an Evil Empire, well, I tell you all, not for long,

Once I whoop your fucking ass, with this rap battling song!

Your people were sent to a camp? Well, they didn't have fun,

Meanwhile, I was a badass survivor of assassination, son!

I will beat you anywhere, from L.A. to Berlin,

It's a Turf Gulf War, and I'm the Powelling kingpin, hey!

Lenin didn't want you to be commander after him,

So what's gonna stop me from tearing you down, limb from limb?

Stalin:
Shut up, Ronald McDonald! I have rhymes as Cold as the War,

And I showed Hitler raw strength that he never saw before!

Now, I shoot harder than Hinckley, and I'm more stubborn than Gorbachev,

You're dumber than that cyka Carter, I'm the biggest genius since Mendelev!

Reagan:
Rhyming the same two suffixes? Hell, I thought your verse was retarded enough!

To get Russia to collapse? Well, I got the right stuff!

You only dissed one side of me, now I'll show you another!

Mentally, your insults are as weak as the following:



WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT

YOU DECIDE

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY BITCHES!

Who Won?

Vote in the Comments.