User blog:AttackEyebrows12/Rose Tyler vs Martha Jones. Epic Rap Battles of the Whoniverse Season 1 Finale

Well this took forever.

Anyways, welcome back to another episode of ERBOTW!

I procrastinate like shit, but I wanted to finish this by the end of January, so ye.

Today for the season finale it's Series 1 and 2 companion Rose Tyler going against Series 3 companion Martha Jones to see who's the better companioin!

...

oh, you already know how's this gonna play out?

shit.

Anyways, shoutout to Legion for helping me proofread the third party's verse (Even if he did change only 1 or 2 lines it still counts lmao), Jella for making the cover and TK for the title cards. Alright then, let's get this started!

Beat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyElfHx833c

(0:10)
 Bad Wolf has come to kick this plain Jane soldier's ass

 I'm the OG, the most influential, so let me give you a class

 The star of the companions who defeated the Devil will leave you outshone

 And I’m jonesing to defeat this Jones who’s got no spine, no backbone

 You’re simply a unit, doesn’t take a torch to see that you’re deadwood

 I’m topping the polls! Even your clone "cousin" could get better ratings than you would

 Your episodes were horrible, but they could’ve been redeemed if they didn’t star you

 And Mickey unfortunately got with you, and you took away his comedic value

 I Rose from an ordinary position to a dame knighted by Queen Victoria

 And things won’t be rosy for you when it’s me against this inferior dahlia

 Turn things back to 2005, you’ll see why the revival was a success: Because of me

 It’s obvious, see? You’re the whole reason for the flop that was Series 3 !

(0:45)
 42 minutes before this frail pretty flower explodes like the Slitheen

 Your raps were artificial like the Autons, all coated with a plastic sheen

 I had bad episodes? Did you by any chance forget Love and Monsters ?

 Or maybe you were stuck in your alternate dimension so long you forgot Fear Her ?

<p class="MsoNormal"> The word “bitchy” would suit you more, considering how much you cry

<p class="MsoNormal"> But I’ve got the Strategem worthy of a Sontaran, might as well call this a Poison Sky

<p class="MsoNormal"> You would’ve been better off sticking to your day job at Macy’s but I guess you’re unlucky

<p class="MsoNormal"> That you’re facing me, so make like the Doctor told you. Run. Go on, flee!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Seems like you’ve got the Osterhagen Key now, you’re literally gonna blow yourself up

<p class="MsoNormal"> Try to imagine a life without the Doctor! You’re the epitome of a character who doesn’t develop!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Your relationship’s heartbreaking, actually. Quite similar to that of your actor.

<p class="MsoNormal"> But now I’ll end this battle quickly and reunite you with your father !

(1:31)
<p class="MsoNormal"> Oi! Watch it! Doctor-Donna’s here to unleash her timeless flow!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Got the fires of Pompeii in my lyrics, I’m pyroclastic, both of you should know

<p class="MsoNormal"> You two are damsels in distress, while I didn’t need a hand at all

<p class="MsoNormal"> If you prissy gals try to step to this office lady, you’ve definitely got gall <h5 class="MsoNormal">(Italicized lyrics are rapped as twice the speed of a normal line.)

<p class="MsoNormal"> Rose’s running away from a Dalek, while I 

<p class="MsoNormal"> destroyed Davros, brought peace, didn’t need to try 

<p class="MsoNormal">'' Feeling lonely? Maybe go hook up with Jack ''

<p class="MsoNormal"> Oh wait, Barrowman’s gone, and won’t come back 

<p class="MsoNormal"> Martha better follow Stewart and stay 

<p class="MsoNormal"> home, because you’re gridlocked on hell’s highway 

<p class="MsoNormal"> Two birds down with a stone-cold verse, now that’s truly wizard 

<p class="MsoNormal">'' At least my series arc wasn’t based on just a few words ! ''

(2:09)
<p class="MsoNormal"> Heard another ginger spitting, but it’s clear that you don’t put in thought

<p class="MsoNormal"> This Scot swats clots, you haven’t fought, Demon’s Run was my baby’s cot

<p class="MsoNormal"> Moffat brought me, you’re [http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Russell_T_Davies Russ. T], and I’m about to school these three

<p class="MsoNormal"> Rap like a river, unlike the wilted flower, my words are a pure Melody

<p class="MsoNormal"> Rose’s supposed flow’s slow, prose makes us wanna doze off

<p class="MsoNormal"> Donna can talk, but you’re so boring you could even cut a Roman nose off

<p class="MsoNormal"> Martha doesn’t need to be a doctor or have one to know that she’s not sick

<p class="MsoNormal"> Lick this thick as a brick chick like Matt does to a bowl of custard and fish sticks

<p class="MsoNormal"> Met van Gogh and Churchill ! All you did was find a few writers

<p class="MsoNormal"> I’m a fighter brighter than a Big Bang, you know that I’m tighter

<p class="MsoNormal"> Can’t match Kovarian’s killer, I’ll go kamikaze on you, I’m not kind

<p class="MsoNormal"> Can’t deny the facts! Even you all know, I’m the best companion you could ever find!

(3:15)
<p class="MsoNormal"> So all of you are here? Great, now I can start this

<p class="MsoNormal"> Call me impossible, but it definitely isn’t to take apart these

<p class="MsoNormal"> You claim to be companions, but you’ve never acted one

<p class="MsoNormal"> The typical “I love you” thing? Sorry, boring, been done

<p class="MsoNormal"> I saw all the Doctors, even helped him choose the correct TARDIS

<p class="MsoNormal"> So the fact that I was essential is something you can’t dismiss

<p class="MsoNormal"> Take a deep breath before school, then tame a whole class

<p class="MsoNormal"> You’re not in my class, for those horrible words you wouldn’t even pass

<p class="MsoNormal"> The most hated of you all, but I’m still the best in the show

<p class="MsoNormal"> I surpass the Doctor, became him, that’s what they say, no?

<p class="MsoNormal"> You could call me the glue of the cracks in time, the gel

<p class="MsoNormal"> Heck, if I didn’t exist, the show would cease to be as well!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Stayed here for the longest, they’ll write my legacy in the annals

<p class="MsoNormal"> And I’m the one ready for the next challenge, wherever, whenever

<p class="MsoNormal"> Time for you all to face the raven, but do it boldly like I did

<p class="MsoNormal"> If not for me, the entire of history would have been undid

OF THE WHONIVERSE!
Who won? Rose Tyler Martha Jones Donna Noble Amy Pond Clara Oswald