User blog:Panchamp98/Epic Rap Battles of Cartoon History Literal: Mario VS Sonic

Okay so this is not SM but oh well, enjoy

Sonic the Hedgehog:
It's the third time around for the Sonic sensation,

''OKAY what the HELL does Mario and Sonic have to do with Cartoons, hell, they had the cartoons but they're more known for their video games... don't even get me STARTED on the rest of the series''

The number one topic of the conversation,

actually Mario will be rapping to so you aren't number one

You're going up against royalty,

So, sir Sonic, are you by chance part of the Toadstool dynasty?

You're a rip-off of Chef Boyardee,

How does being italian mean that he's chef boyardee?

I'm too quick, and I'm way too agile,

and your point is?

You're too fat, slow, and fragile,

that rhyme COULD NOT have been more redundant 

Stock is rising, your's is falling,

AND YOUR POINT IS!?

Get outta here, there's a toilet calling!

... I don't wanna do this anymore, maybe Mario will be better

Mario:
Its'a Mario, don't call me fat, I'll exterminate this sewer rat,

-deep breath- 1: You forgot the "me" 2: he's a hedgehog 3: WHAT THE FUCK KARMA!

I'll crush him like a Goomba, leave this porcupine laying flat!

but then your ass would be bleeding from the spines moron...

Slow and steady wins the race, I'll take a dump in Sega's face,

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE A DICKENS OF A DU- nevermind

Your console died a lonely death, your legacy is just disgrace!

If his console died then he would be gone, correct?

Way back since 8-bits, I've been bustin' bricks with bare fists,

Calm down Mario, he was 8-bit as well, but with better coloring

'''Check the record books, I make hits. Simply put, I'm the greatest!'''

but then came along that pesky Call of Duty

I'm the father of the platform, the name is etched in history,

can't say anything bad about tha- oh wait, Donkey Kong

The Sega and the Sonic story all will be a mystery!

Well the games are getting sucky-er by the day so I gotta give you that

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Alright pops, props for trying,

Here we go for Mister lazy lines

But get busy living or get busy dying,

''he dpes live... in our hearts''

Always stood on my own two,

OWN TWO WHAT?!

I never needed a console, how 'bout you?

''If you didn't need a console you wouldn't exist GENIUS! GOD Sonic, fucking make SENSE!''

Genesis, Game Gear, on to the Dreamcast,

''you JUST said that you didn't need a console... -tries not to punch computer-''

Never been a loser, I adapt and I'm too fast,

well your stiff controls always gets you killed

Lyrically, physically, I am superior,

''Mario spat a better verse than you so... -sees next line- ugh...''

Biting your Peach off while you're trying to marry her!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!

Vacate the area, this is my Zone,

FINALLY SOME SENSE!

Sending this Guido plumber home,

very good sonic, now you're becoming better, oh and you're a guido runner

Rings in my pockets, Emeralds in my bank account,

rings don't do shit and emeralds should, oh I dunno, make you rap batter

You've just got coins, so there's no mistake about,

coins are more valuable than rings but I see what you mean with emeralds

Who is the greatest and who is in second,

you

As far as Nintendo, that shit is irrelevent,

''so you're calling the company that owns you now shit and it's irrevelent... ugh''

About to hit your off switch,

Oh noooooooooooooo- PBG

This was game, set, loss, bitch!

K

Mario:
In the game since '81, this plumber's done it all,

but still, he can't have sex

Why don't you check my coin count, I'll show you how to ball!

''aren't emeralds more valuable? I mean, they're 30,000 per karrat''

I doubt the Princess Peach would have let you lay your hands on,

''on her? ugh, those two corresponding lines make NO FUCKING SENSE!''

We all see your package, 'cause you don't have any pants on!

you can't see package because it's covered in fur...

The mustache monarch of Mushroom Manor,

I didn't know that moustache monarch was a royal title...

Can't tell if you rap fast or it's just a stammer!

I think that it's fast rap

We're swimming in the green, just look at Luigi's clothes!

how is luigi's clothes revelant to this?!

Don't ever fuck with the Mario Bros!

I'm guessing that Luigi appears in this video but this line would make more sense if he was a third party rapper