User blog:Mortal5075/Handsome Jack vs Eddie Gluskin Epic Rap Battles of Mortality 4

Hi. Did you know that a user Mortal just dropped an epic battle between two infamous video game villains; Handsome Jack and Eddie Gluskin? And its fucking good? Well if you didnt, time to fix that and read it. Rn. And after that, cote on who you thought won and leave a comment down below about what you thought on this battle. The more feedback, the more appreciative I'll be. Thank you :)



​Eddie Gluskin (0:25)
'''Dear God, Darling, What’s up round and down with your face? '''

With your blabber mouth, you won't Outlast the survival in our place 

I’ll make a wo-man out you, prepare to get dead-Li Shang 

So sad helping your foes was the last song your dear siren sang 

Such soft rap structure, but these pants are ain't no place for a hero 

If it couldn't please Moxxi and upbrought an emo 

Your actions left a red cross on the Pandora history pages 

But your legacy is beautiful, it’s like a dark age of Fallen Angels 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

Handsome Jack (0:50)
<p dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-757180ff-dd99-37c6-1edc-6dd0c87b41a9" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">'''<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Are you a disturbed individual who goes the bent semi-way? '''

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">If not too bad, cause I’m roasting you anyway 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Your creepy, stalking persona has got no balls, that’s why you take them from others 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Nothing personal, but I could sit on my  horse and crap verbal Stallion for hours 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Your dear asylum needs some cleaning, but  if Jack comes, you’ll be fine 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Once I drop on your whole mountain a moonbeam mixtape 69 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Your life will end just like your sex attempts, with every drop failing 

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">You should’ve never crossed me, unlike Eddie x Waylon 

​Eddie Gluskin (1:14)
<span id="docs-internal-guid-757180ff-dd9f-52a1-3e5a-6e9a50a260c4" style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Trying to outrun me? In my gym you’re more welcome to hang out

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Will make you see the light until the batteries run out

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Named as a joke but couldn't kill a Hyperion clown

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">You can teleport and vanish and I am the Stalker one?

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Your game was a success but the Hype-irion fell

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​When the sequel to your story was one huge round of show and tell

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Trying to diss me is a stab in the dark, best not make a sound in the Merkoff

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Or you'll discover there are things more disturbing than your daily Rhack jerkoff

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​You are no hero but a psycho, stop telling yourself lies

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Time to clip off the wings and let go of the skies

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​A once in fame Scarface who's well past his old times

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Have a choking fetish? Well time to hang for your crimes

​Handsome Jack (1:52)
<span id="docs-internal-guid-757180ff-ddc7-6e91-64b5-aa79ba123ca0" style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">Hell yeah I can teleport, and I am immortal, kiddo!

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​How many Vault Hunters can do that? Zer0!

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Try to open the Pandora Box, and you will be Out Last of the quicksands

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​With both raps and censorship, you shouldn't cross the Borderlands

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​My rhymes with each verse become more deadly and precise

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Best weapon manfucaturer, selling most vibrant, not Dahl device

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Slowly walking to your target? That's breaking villlain trope 5, friend

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​You begged a dude to blow your whistle and he just killed you in the end

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​My game re-evolutioned the RPGs, yours made people tighten zips

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Trying to free from my commands? Escaped your only Opportunity to win, kids

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​You and your knife go too far, but the hero's giving you a hand, son

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Your scars made you creepy, while mine made me handsome

​Eddie Gluskin (2:30)
<span id="docs-internal-guid-757180ff-ddcd-bb6c-0a3c-ef79e4602941" style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">What a crap rap! I'll shut this trash talking Claptrap!

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Watch my Gas Gluzzers quickly put you to sleep, just like a kid's nap

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​The amount of your DLCs put Warner Brothers to bother, its time to get silent

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#274e13;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​If you're Hyperion than you'll fall in our place with no light, Welcome to the Asylum

​Handsome Jack (2:42)
<span id="docs-internal-guid-757180ff-ddcf-b6a3-a952-fb8f8af3a1e6" style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">AW C'MON REALLY? I've got better things to wish

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Than to listen advice from a Nazi Pufferfish

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​You tried to make a man pregnant, but I will make this gorier

<span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#e69138;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;">​Now Roll-and watch your back, cause this Cell unleashed his Perfect Warrior!

<p style="text-align:left;"> Who Won?

<p style="text-align:left;">Tony Clarke

<p style="text-align:left;">Nazi Pufferfish

<p style="text-align:left;">Wtf is this space between options shit, this battle sucks