User blog:Corporal Genesis DXTR/ERBODXTR: Jesus Christ vs Eminem

Hail Mary! No, wait, that's Tupac. Different rapper. In this edition of Epic Rap Battles of DXTR, the son of God, the saviour, and the central figure of Christianity, Jesus H. Christ, battles off against famous white Detroit-based rapper Marshall Mathers/Slim Shady/Eminem. It's gonna be fucking brilliant. Hopefully. Click on the thumbnails to view the self-made shitty titlecards.



Cast
Nice Peter as Eminem

EpicLLOYD as Jesus Christ

DeStorm Power as Proof, Kon Artis and Bugz

Iman Crosson as Bizarre, Swifty McVay and Fuzz Scoota

Alex Farnham as Saint Peter

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

MARSHALL MATHERS!

VS!

JESUS CHRIST!

BEGIN!

Eminem-

The name's Marshall Mathers, I'm a caring father, you're a jerk

You try to piss me off? That's a bad idea, I'll go plain mad, Berzerk

Jesus H. Christ! You're so terrible, I can't even believe you call it rap

I shouldn't call it that, I'll call it holy shit, because it's all Lil Wayne crap.

Don't cross my path, I'll kill you, you can kiss my ass, call me Judas

I'd rather be Buddha than Jewish, you're useless, I make good music

My homies will murder you all over again, cruciFYI, I spit sick raps

Give you some of your blood, intoxicated, you'll suffer a Relapse

Jesus-

Who is this ignoramus, stop Cleanin' your Closet, and come out.

This heavenly saviour, the messiah, will kick you back down the 8 Mile route

I know you and Elton John performed more than just a song, stop with the lies and shit

I've got honest Proof that you're a shitty rapper, Chris Brown has had a better hit

You're good at making music? Ah, Ken, I really love the way you lie.

You're a useless shitty cracker, making sweet music with Dr. Dre

Say goodbye to Hollywood, motherfucker, because you've met your day.

The rest of D12, alive or dead, come in to aid Marshall.

Eminem-

Your attempts to beat me are hella tight, JC, but they're nothing.

Proof-

D12's in the house, motherfuckers. Messiah my ass, you're disgusting.

Bizarre-

We'll rape your wife and murder your disciples, bitch, you'll get nailed.

Kon Artis-

We'll beat you up harder, faster, stronger than when 2 Chainz got jailed

Kuniva-

Oh my God, stop being a little shit, don't be a retard, show class

Swifty McVay-

You can take your loaves and fish and shove them up your ass.

Bugz-

You'll get clubbed and shot, like Proof rolled into one, with added me.

Fuzz Scoota-

When you mess with The Dirty Dozen, you'll get fucked, don't you see?

Saint Peter arrives from heaven to aid Christ.

Christ-

You've realy fucked it up now, haven't you bitches?

Peter-

Bugz and Proof shouldn't even be here? Did they get new stitches?

Christ-

I am the leader of the Christians, spreader of the good word, the holy land

Peter-

After we're done with you, you'll be so afraid, unable to even take a stand

Christ-

We'll give you a thorn crown to cry about, drive you mad, call me Stan

Peter-

Grow up bitches, stop being Peter Pan, you've gone down the can,

Do the after-Math, you shits, get thy Jergens, for another serious ass-fucking

Jesus-

Stop being retards, this is the holy bible, not the studio. You may be rap god. But I'm the king.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC *angelic choir* RAP *chika-chika* BATTLES OF HISTORY!

After-Notes
Well...That was eventful. If you have any, absolutely any questions about the references in this battle, don't be afraid to ask. Please do, I want everyone to be clear. :)

Poll
Who do you think won? Eminem & D12 Jesus Christ & Saint Peter