User blog:Mystical Trixter/Bear Grylls vs Crocodile Dundee: Epic Rap Battles of Firebrand

Hello all, and welcome to the second to last battle in Season 1 of my series (aside from one more Off Season) this matchup I found to be very good and I hope you all enjoy, let's get started!

BGvsCD.jpg
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FIREBRAND

BEAR GRYLLS

VERSUS

CROCODILE DUNDEE

BEGIN

Crocodile Dundee
Crikey! Look folks, I was in the wild and I discovered this;

It's a nobody that has a fetish for drinking his own piss!

I'm the master of the outback, so you better just back out!

I'm like a Sniper, getting quick kills on this cocky Chief Scout!

You won't Get Out Alive, because against you I'm Running Wild

You ain't so tough, I've had better fights against a crocodile!

Lived through the wild and city, I don't need A Survival Guide for Life

And your little nail filer? That's not a knife...

(Dundee pulls out his hunting knife, smiles and points at it)

THAT's a knife!

Bear Grylls
It's Man vs Wild, I'm Facing Up to this uncultultured punk,

Talking bullshit and snake oil, and smelling like a skunk,

You couldn't last a day in my life, taught by experience I'm a Born Survivor!

I may drink my piss, but you're STILL the one here who's shitty

You're more out of place against me than you were in the city!/span>

Worst Case Scenario; I'll make you into crocs to show I'm the best

Because I'm on top of this battle like I was on top of Mount Everest!

Crocodile Dundee
I'm gonna skin this Bear, cook him on my Gryll, and make a nice steak

Stopped a drug cartel by myself, and that's just ONE movie I make

I'm an Aussie icon, your fame has already come and gone

Don't get me wrong, you won't last long, wrestled crocs I'm so strong!

You can Escape From Hell? Well, I'll tell ya, I'm the manliest survivor you'll meet!

Go back to eating dinner in the sky because the big bad Bear barely had a chance not getting beat!

Bear Grylls
Mick here's just a prick, who thinks he's slick, I'll kick his ass quick,

You can go suck a dick, I'm surprised you got a chick, you sexist prick!

Had two terrible sequels, fell farther than I did indoors when I broke the record

I can rip your teeth out and replace them with the ones right there on your neck cord!

How can you talk so big when every rater of your movie was a hater?

But I got better things to do then fight you. See you later, Alligator!

Outro and Poll
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE!

EPIC RAP *Sound of a Bear roaring and jaws snapping* BATTLES OF FIREBRAND

Who won

Crocodile Dundee

Bear Grylls