Moses

"Hand me my chisel. I got a new Commandizzle for y'all."

- Moses Moses battled Santa Claus and his Elves in Moses vs Santa Claus. He was portrayed by Snoop Dogg.

Information on the rapper
Moses is a well-known figure from the Jewish Torah and the Christian Bible.

First appearing in the Book of Exodus, his story follows the progression of the Jewish people from oppressed slaves in Egypt to a God-fearing people in ancient Israel.

During his time on Earth, Moses is said to have been found in a reed basket and reared by Egyptian nursemaids in the court of Ramesses II. In his youth, he would travel to and take refuge in ancient Midian, in defense of one of his own people. Upon his return to Egypt, he was exiled to slavery with fellow Jews, and would ultimately be called by God to deliver His chosen people. When called, Moses encountered God in the guise of a burning bush and was given a staff at his place of summoning, to which God in turn gave His power. Moses initially refused his call, claiming he was not well-spoken (he may have had a stutter). God would not let this pass, and also recruited Moses' brother, Aaron, as a fellow prophet and interpreter of divine law.

Moses himself was to plea with the great pharaoh in order to set the Hebrews free, but the pharaoh was rendered "hard of heart" by God's command, and thus he refused to release them. Through Moses and the staff, God summoned ten plagues upon Egypt, one of which gave rise to the Passover meal. The Jews were freed through a crossing at the Red Sea and led into the area known as Sinai.

With the Jews gathered there, Moses was called to meet God on a mountain nearby. There, God wrote in stone the Ten Commandments for the Jewish people. The people would remain in the area (though they had wandered aimlessly) for forty years before moving on to Canaan and their Promised Land. Moses was said to have lived for many decades after the Commandments were delivered, continuing to preach and to administer God's law until his death in the Book of Deuteronomy, shortly before his people finally reached the Promised Land.

ERBoH Bio
My name… is Moses. I'm a religious leader, lawgiver and a prophet and I've got a hot new book out called the Old Testament. It's about how I led the Hebrew people out of Egypt and took them all the way to the land of Milk and Honey. It wasn't easy convincing the Egyptian Pharaoh to "let my people go" -- it took a few plagues. Frogs, Locusts. Blood. That kind of thing. We also made a short (forty-year) side-journey where we wandered the wilderness and I received God's law for his chosen people, the Ten Commandments. Yeah, my good friend God made a habit of appearing to me as a burning bush.

Verse 1:
When I was high up on the mountain, God revealed the truths of the earth,

But He never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf.

It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass.

You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass.

You need to stop breakin' into houses and creepin'

And peepin' on naughty kids while they sleepin'

And keep your hands off my stocking.

Don't you Ho-Ho me!

I split your ass in half, like I did the Red Sea.

You ain't a saint, you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow.

Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go.

Verse 2:
So much drama in the Israe-L B.C.,

It's kinda hard talking directly to the G-O-single-D.

Hand me my chisel. I got a new Commandizzle for y'all.

Thou shalt not let children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall.

I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy,

And walk off into the land of my milk and honeys.

Trivia

 * Moses is the first biblical figure to rap in the series, followed by Adam and Eve.
 * The first to make a cameo was Jesus Christ.
 * He is the first rapper to be portrayed by a real-life celebrity instead of a famous YouTuber (although Snoop does make YouTube videos, he's still a critically acclaimed rapper as well).
 * He was mentioned by Marilyn Monroe in Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe, making him the third person to appear after being mentioned.
 * His actor, Snoop Dogg, was mentioned by Stephen Hawking in Einstein vs Stephen Hawking.
 * On Santa Claus' Naughty List, he is labeled as "Killed Egyptian Dude, Buried him in sand". This was also one of Santa's lyrics.
 * If you look closely at Moses' tablet, it says ERB on the fourth row to the bottom.
 * ERB took Moses' line, "So much drama in the Israe-L B.C., it's kinda hard talking directly to G-O-single-D" from "Gin and Juice". The original line was, "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's kinda hard being Snoop D-O-double-G."
 * ERB's version of Moses appears to be based on the 1998 animated film The Prince of Egypt version, which features him dark-skinned and wearing similar robes of the same colors, instead of the more popular depiction which has a white hair/beard and is light-skinned.
 * However, he may also be based on the 1995 movie Moses, in which he was portrayed by Ben Kingsley.
 * He is the third historical/theological figure portrayed as a film version of themselves, after Leonidas and Cleopatra, and followed by Joan of Arc, William Wallace, Bonnie Parker, and Clyde Barrow.
 * During the battle, it can be seen that he is wearing socks and sweatpants under his clothes.