User blog:Awesomesix/Carl Gauss vs Archimedes (Original)

In the 23rd installment of Awesome Rap Battles 2.0, mathematician Carl Gauss faces off against the Greek Archimedes to see which brain is the smarter one.

Info
Originally released: June 28, 2014

Characters: Archimedes, Carl Gauss, Stephen Hawking (cameo)

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

ARCHIMEDES!

VERSUS!

CARL FRIEDRICH GAUSS!

BEGIN!

Archimedes:

I’m not scared of this Einstein wannabe geek,

With his huge nose and his hair like that of a freak,

What does this author have to offer in this battle of minds?

This child prodigy couldn’t even ace the test of time!

I’ll make you werke your hat off, like this is primary school,

You’ve got some nerve to show your curve around here, fool.

I see your spare time was answering ICP’s biggest questions,

You’ll never finish your verse; you’re too busy striving for perfection,

This will never happen, because your writing is tragic,

Just like your first marriage, this is a failure’s making in the magic,

I’m the greatest brain in the world, ask Stephen Hawking,

Stephen Hawking:

He’s the shit, dawg.

Archimedes:

This is your last chance to proof yourself, you better start talking.

Carl Gauss:

I’m slicker than Brunswick, my flow’s more tasty than pi,

So go screw yourself, Archie, you insufferable fly,

Your flow is just hideous; no one cared about Phidias,

I’m on bills, what you got? Jack shit, you’re ridiculous!

As a perfectionist, you’re ticking me off, you’re a mistake,

You’re insane and deranged, like your arrays of heat rays,

I’m on a whole different plane; your brain is askew,

You’d need an Equiarial map just to see how I do,

I’m more lethal to you than any Pubic war, you freak,

I’ll eradicate your circles; you’re not the boss of me,

You died alone and single, never to feel true love,

My fans are more numerous than the stars above.

Archimedes:

I’m the principle, you best be off, before you get schooled,

I’ll degauss your ass to your little crater on the moon, you fool,

Just face it; you’re an outcast, no one remembers your work,

That was more important to you than your wife’s life, you jerk,

Your chances died off when I was announced, like your lovers,

You’re now known as the man who makes teenagers suffer.

Carl Gauss:

My rhymes are improving, attention spans you’re diluting,

Your weak points I’m shooting, young brains you’re polluting,

There’s no cure for a crown this dense, I’m afraid,

Switching my flows as I go will not change the sum’s ways,

Because in the end, my friend, the victor’s still clear;

The boss Carl Gauss and his colorful, wonderful career!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!

Who won? Archimedes Carl Gauss