Lance Armstrong

"I'm the pinnacle of physical condition!"

- Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong battled Babe Ruth in Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong. He was portrayed by Nice Peter.

Information on the Rapper
Lance Edward Armstrong, born Lance Edward Gunderson, is a former American road racing cyclist who had won the Tour de France 7 consecutive times between 1999 and 2005. In 2012, Lance was retroactively disqualified from all these races, had to give back his medals, and was banned from cycling by the United States Anti-Doping Agency because of his use of doping, which he confessed to Oprah Winfrey in January 2013. He is also known for surviving cancer, being diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1996, which quickly spread to his lungs and brain; after a series of operations and treatments, he was declared cancer-free in 1997. In the same year, he founded the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which gives support to cancer patients. Lance was chairman of the foundation until his resignation in 2012 as a result of the doping scandal, and the foundation changed its name to the Livestrong Foundation.

Verse 1
Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression,

I'll let you be the second fat woman hearing my confession!

I admit it: I did what I had to do to win.

I'm an athlete. You're a specimen of sin!

With your drinking, and smoking, and choking down food,

I know French dudes with better manners than you!

So swing, batter, batter! Show me what a fatter rapper can do!

I beat cancer. I can sure as hell crack you!

Verse 2
You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?

That's like having a pasta contest without Italy!

You're an orphan who found his way to fortune and fame.

Just think what you could've done if you would've actually trained!

I'm the pinnacle of physical condition,

While you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it foul tipping. Are you tripping?

You'll be nothing but a skeleton, messing with the fellow in yellow,

Who will be peddling like hell up in the Peloton!

Trivia

 * He is the second clear "heel" (a character who is clearly the less liked person compared to their opponent) to be played by Nice Peter. The first was Christopher Columbus. Peter normally plays the "good guys" while Lloyd plays the "bad guys", as referenced in Nice Peter's first verse in Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD. Other characters played by Peter that could be considered "bad guys" but are not considered "heels" due to either their opponents being even worse or no better or to them being part of a nonstandard dynamic include Darth Vader (still a better person than Adolf Hitler), HAL 9000 (a third party who challenges Bill Gates while the latter is behaving in a quite megalomaniacal manner), Blackbeard (whether either he or Al Capone are any better or worse than one another is not discussed in their battle) and Donald Trump and The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (both were there to teach Ebenezer Scrooge the error of his ways).
 * He is the first rapper to visibly change outfit on screen without aging.
 * Armstrong's jersey has the Epic Rap Battles of History logo on it.
 * Lance undergoes two outfit changes, having a total of three outfits: his suit, his biker outfit, and his full racing getup.
 * Even so, he never changes to his full racing getup on-screen. It just appears in the background and the "Who won? Who's next? You decide!" scene.