Batman vs Sherlock Holmes/Rap Meanings

Batman:Edit
'''Nice hat, dork. You look like a duck'''

(Batman is saying that Sherlock's double-billed hat makes him look like a duck.)

'''I had Alfred read your books. He told me they suck!'''

(Batman had his butler, Alfred, read the Sherlock series, and he said they were terrible.)

I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash!

("Bangers and mash"--sausages and potatoes--is common pub fare around the Isles, and Batman's going to make some out of Holmes' testes.) 

I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash

(Tango and Cash is a 1989 detective movie about two detectives who are accused of a crime that they didn't do, and try to prove it.)

You chump, I kick punks like you off the streets

(Batman fights villains, and arrests them, or takes them of the street, and says Sherlock is as low as them.)

While you and Velma here are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries

(Batman says Sherlock's mysteries are weak and easy to solve, much like mysteries in Scooby Doo. He also calls Watson Velma, the nerdy girl in Scooby Doo's gang.)

Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can

(Apparently, nothing can make Batman laugh, not even the Joker, except maybe Sherlock's lines.)

So bring it on, bitch...

(Batman wants Sherlock to give it his all.)

I'm Batman!

(A line said by Batman, and has since then become a very popular line in the internet.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain

(Sherlock insults Batman/Bruce Wayne by saying he smells like crap and pain, due to Bruce's troubled past. Bruce Wayne is also very rich. Guano is another word for bat poop.)

Dr. Watson:Edit
Holmes, explain

(Watson wants clarification, as he does not get where Sherlock is going. Or just playing along.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
I deduce this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne

(Bruce Wayne is Batman's true identity. To deduce is to arrive at a conclusion using logic, as the facts of a case are used in solving it.)

Dr. Watson:Edit
The billionaire?

(Bruce Wayne is rich.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours to afford the toys he needs

(Sherlock says Bruce uses his wealth to get his gadgets and supplies, or his "toys".)

Dr. Watson:Edit
Since he has no superpowers!

(Batman, unlike most (if not all) other superheroes, has no natural powers that make him "super".)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
'''You want a battle, bat? Bring it then!'''

(Sherlock wants to fight, and is asking Batman to "bring it", or use his skills.)

Dr. Watson:Edit
I heard he has a British butler

(Alfred, Bruce's butler, is British.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
'''Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen!'''

(Butlers (in this case Alfred) often serve their masters, and since Holmes and Watson are both British, and will (according to them) win, they will serve (beat) him.)

You're a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill

(Holmes is saying Batman is crazy, wears panties, and has no skills.)

My sidekick's a doctor

''(Dr. Watson is a doctor (Dr. is an abbreviation for doctor), and leaves the end of the line to Watson.)''

Dr. Watson:Edit
Because his flows are so ill!

(Dr. Watson is saying that Holmes can rap harder than Batman.  Play on words: since Holmes' diction, or flow, is "sick", he needs a doctor with him --but never to cure him, because ill flows are good.)

Batman:Edit
'''Shut up, nerds. I serve justice, so eat it'''

(Heroes, like Batman, defeat the bad guys, thus "serving" justice. This is also a play on words, as food can be served, and Batman is forcing them to eat justice. Batman is also a part of the Justice League.)

My sidekick only comes around...

(Robin only comes to help (pause)...)

Robin:Edit
...When he's needed!

(Contiuation of Batman's last line, Robin only assists when it's neccasary, unlike Watson, who has been in the battle the whole time. However, this is an insult to Batman, because it suggests Batman is failing and needs some assistance.)

Boy wonder make ya wonder how your ass got killed

(Robin is also known as Boy Wonder.)

Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville

("The Hound of the Baskervilles" is one of the Holmes mysteries. Robin will bite harder than the hounds.)

I'll bust you with that bat-wack-rap repellant

(Batman and Robin in the original Batman and Robin 1966 movie have various repellants in the bat copter, the one used in the movie was Shark (rubber shark) repellant)

Rappel a building, snatch a villain, then by dinner be chillin'

(Robin can scale down a building, then fight a bad guy and be finished in time for dinner.)

Got a secret 'bout your homegirl Irene Adler

Took her back to my nest to "bam pow kersplat" her

(Irene Adler is rumoured to be Sherlock's true love in the books. In the '60's television and comic book series for Batman, when ever there was a fight and a punch, kick, or hit was thrown, a sound effect in a text bubble-like box would appear. Bam, pow and kersplat are some. Robin is also implying he took Irene home (his "nest", pun on his name, Robin) and had sex with her.)

I'll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand!

(Sherlock Holmes was very talented with the violin.)

'''Holy Conan Doyle, let's get 'em! Aw god damn!'''

(One of the most common running gags in the Batman series is Robin will say a line starting with "Holy...", usually ending with something related to their topic. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is the author of the Sherlock Holmes books.)

Batman:Edit
'''You're not smart, you're selfish. You endanger everyone's life'''

(In Sherlock's stories, he would, at times, use his pals as bait to lure murderers.)

Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?

(Batman is calling Sherlock gay.)

'''Nobody likes you. Not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard!'''

(Batman is saying that no one likes Sherlock. Not his brother Mycroft Holmes, not Watson himself, not even the Scotland Yard, whom Holmes have helped during crime season.)

You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm!

(When he's not solving crimes, Holmes would take up cocaine to stimulate his mind. According to Batman, Sherlock will die lonely, minus a medicinal (drug) needle in his arm.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
*Thinking*

This mustn't register on an emotional level...

First, exploit childhood tragedy...then gesture with pipe...

Watson finishes punchline...next, acknowledge compliment...

Conclude with killer catchphrase...

*End thought*

(In both current films, Holmes' deductive-reasoning processes are given life as they project several moves ahead of his present state. That process of projection is recreated in the battle.)

I believe your parents' homicide is why you mask your face

(He is saying Bruce covers his face with his mask and fights crime due to his parent's murder...)

You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace

(...and that Batman is horrified of having watched his parent's death, and is haunted by the memory of it...)

Of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!

(...and he watched like a harmless pile of nothing as his parents were murdered.)

Dr. Watson:Edit
Holmes, you've cracked the case!

(Sherlock has solved Batman's problems, much like he solves crimes and mysteries.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
You're a batshit crazy basket case!

(Sherlock is calling Bruce mental.)

Dr. Watson:Edit
Bloody good rhymes!

(Bloody good is a stereotypical British phrase meaning excellent or good. Watson says Sherlock had good rhymes.)

Sherlock Holmes:Edit
I've got tonnes

(He's got a lot of disses. Tonnes is a different spelling of tons, like colour is to color.)

Dissing these dynamic douchebags was elementary, my dear Watson.

(Batman and Robin are oft referred to as the "Dynamic Duo", but in this verse, they're being dissed as idiotic.  "Elementary, my dear Watson" is a famous line  supposedly  said by Sherlock, but it implies Batman and Robin were easy takedowns.)

Dr. Watson:Edit
OHHHHHHH!!!

(Usually said after someone disses someone. In this case, Sherlock is the one who dissed Batman.)