User blog:Iamthelegion/Eragon vs Harry Potter

This battle is my piece de resistance, still in progress of righting. A hundred man battle royale, ending partially in the style of Moleman's epic rap battles' Judge Dredd vs Judge Judy, with Eragon and Harry Potter teaming up to diss all 98 other competitors. Then they'll finish their battle. Currently thirty five characters into it. I'll continually be updating it. Please comment ideas for people to put in the battle. Criteria: Male lead protagonist in a film, preferably good guys. Without further ado, ERAGON VS HARRY POTTER:

Harry Potter:

Don't you know who I am little dragon boy?

I am the boy who lived, eat you like a koi

The chosen one to defeat Lord Voldemort

A kid on a tiny dragon beat me? What a rort

Curse you both, blast you off of your blue pet

Before you go, don't say something you regret

When I Avada Kedavra for what you say Eragon

This elf will die, your as threatening as Porygon

My series has critical acclaim and success

Your movie stunk, and to that fact I can attest

Eragon:

I will smite you without Saphira's help Potter

Your uglier than Voldemort, the Urgals or otters

Curse me? I think I have more experience there

Only took three books to win a war and play fair

Slice through your tiny little wand with Brisingr

Not afraid to take on your school and hillsinger

Stomp your giant, better than the Narnia crew

And you need a broomstick, on Saphira I flew

Quidditch? What the heck is that you punk?

I will live for millenia, train dwarves with spunk

Part of so many species you can't even count

Fight a troll, did u see the first head I did mount

Bury you like my father, uncle and my teacher

If you touched Saphira then Firnen'd bleach ya

Punch you from Hogwarts over to Farthen Dur

End you like Shrike and Galbatorix and more

Scream out Brisingr when I shoot you down

Get into Hufflepuff with all your dumb nouns

Got languages like Tolkien, u got beat by Frodo

I know this isn't the case for us but still YOLO

Come, try to come at me like Cedric and foes

Just like a Shade fall beneath all my blows

Harry:

Guess I'll just pull out Sectum Sempra, so lame

Trap you in Azkaban, you can't touch my fame

Listen to Hagrid: I'm a wizard, outta Hogwarts

Your plan to cull me like Cedric I will go thwart

Yes I lost to Frodo and Luke, you lost 2 Murtagh

Squish you like the Hulk and bring a body bag

Accio my hood, beat you with my magic rock

Fawkes got my sword, blind you like Brock

Got the Deathly Hallows and Gryffindor Sword

Dobby just clicked in Dumbledore's Army horde

How many people have you failed? Seriously?

Not even Neville died, you should just go flee

Today your tea leaves read just a black wolf

Call Lupin on you and take this on the hoof

Today you enter the Chamber of Secrets inferior

Beheaded so many snakes and guys ur superior

And how many side-plots have you gone & did

Twins, Razac, Murtagh, Rory and the witch kid

Plus your love life, bro dwarf and Urgal stuff

That's just off the top of my head, I'm tough

Tougher than you could ever claim to be man

Victor like Bulgaria, do you even have one fan

Won the wizard cup, beat Bartie Crouch Junior

I am the Eldest, you're only just a blue loser

You can't just pick one species, and you admit

Avada Kedavra, I'm gone, I'm done with my bit

Eragon:

Like no one has tried to kill me with spells Harry

Fought off elves and Shades, I will not tarry

Do u know the level of enemies I leave no trace

Know I'll leave u with more than a scarred face

When Brisingr slices up and through your blade

Absorbs what makes it better but no fire made?

Plus your crew is a joke, it started with moRon

Video game excellence, yours are beat by Pong

Phoenix named after Guy Fawkes, reference Ja

Plain beat ya fair and square bring a Dementor

Reveal to you my Inheritence, got me a Glaedr

Don't forget Lord Valdr to beat schoolboy haters

Bury you deeper than my brother's huge nation

Potter, u should've avoided this confrontation

Percy Jackson:

As should you, get back on yer little dragon boy

Survived through a Sea of Monsters no evil ploy

My pen is mightier than both of your metals

Wither from my slices like a rose with its petals

Since its up to me alone to take down posers

Pull out Zeus's lightning bolt to shake dozers

Just like Jeff from the Wiggles, just go retire

Harry should Accio parents since that fire

But why would Eragon try to come and win

When its only one movie, four books he is in

Super skillful I have taken down real Titans

End you like Hercules and the Nemean Lion

Peter (Narnia):

The real lion in films is my main man Aslan

Better than you three punks and all of Japan

Stab you right in the back in the White Queen

My movies has more religion than you've seen

Come on Percy, you ripped off of Greek myth

Potter is potty, he's gone too heavy on absinthe

Wanna talk about swords, see what I wield

Fought for King and Country, best in our field

That's right, I fought it all for me and my sisters

Edmund is a disgrace like Eragon and mister

Jackson, took down a little dude and a big guy

Lived through 2 wars at once wanna know why

Eragon could live his whole life in our realm

And I'd just be on a UK HMS warship's helm

Luke Skywalker:

Dude really man, are you straight up kidding me

Got the best movies, a groundbreaking trilogy

All you guys are follow-ups, I'm like Clark Kent

Kill you like Sidious, your best effort is spent

Talk about swords? I have an HTG lightsaber

And when it comes to worlds I'm a lifesaver

Heck man, I saved the entire universe twice

Mark Hamill is more prolific than Vanilla Ice

Seeing the galaxy in the Falcon, can't beat me

Eragon's movie sucked more than one by DC

Percy thinks Earthly deities actually matter

Harry is done, my wallet is just getting fatter

Peter should run back to his little Civil War

I have a galactic invasion to thwart and more

R2deets on my side, he can back me up man

My appearance shows that the mess hit the fan

Frodo Baggins:

Think Tattooine is tough? Try going to Moria

Fighting off Nazguls with ghosts before ya

Still I chucked the ring in the active volcano

My uncle has a better trilogy to remain oh

While my parents are dead, Luke's is evil

Plus Anakin started off nerdier than Steve Urkel

Percy you're plot flaws come in by the megaton

How many books did it take to get the job done

Harry, please, Sauron is much more of a threat

Than you're defective nemesis, what regret

Peter, my war left me with countless enemies

Drop your shield, my Sting is like an anenome

And on to dragon boy, you're books dragged on

Won this battle, leave you out like Sarumon

Neo:

You kidding me shortstuff? Step into my Matrix

When it comes to trilogies I make it a hat trick

Eragon had one, Percy had two, Peter the same

Inspired sequels & ripoffs, can't touch my fame

Peter misses out on his third movie, I do not

Agent Smith starts a fight scene like Kakkarot

What's with you guys and swords? I spit lead

Got mists of fists too, so six losers end up dead

Percy, back off, you can't connect with Poseidon

No water to heal you from all that I'm reciting

Potter boy, just your scar will remain in the end

When I leave you deader than Mad-eye or Fred

Luke, I move 2 fast for your saber to come close

Screen wipe your face off, kill all your cameos

Leave you with C3PO more holes than Ryan

Frodo you never had a chance, and I ain't lying

Wolverine:

None of you ever really did, I'm the best there is

Just how much Revolution failed can't be fixed

Unlike X-men Origins, that's already been done

There is a reason I got these claws and here's 1

I beat fists and bullets, what do ya got now bub

Berserker Rage through the whole area, scrub

Be surprised if you can move around legless

Frodo, better off than Bilbo, hotter than Legolas

Sting me with your dagger, listen for the SNIKT

That's when you realise you've been tricked

Most OP healing from Lobo to Incredible Hulk

Slash straight through you, leave bodies in bulk

Come at me bub, I'm best there is at rapping

Feral like my name, don't care who I'm hacking

Mind shuts off and I go to total anti-stealth

Stick out more than Neo's attire and wealth

Slash bullets straight outta the air, like a king

This battle royale means I knock 7 out the ring

Just like the one that turned Frodo evil & bad

That Luke thought he'd win makes me so sad

Kick Eragon of his high horse with this defeat

Let Peter sink in his unseen, unencoutered seas

Jack Sparrow:

Aye mate, good that you would try to drown im

Cutlass firm in my hand, swag up to the brim

But I put little Hugh Jackson down in the brig

Pull out a bottle of rum and take a deep swig

Let us see how you heal if you got scurvy mate

Private man of fortune, you ingrate half-rate

Full of wit, clever enough to understand Neo

Are you an anagram of one or acronym Natgeo

Your movies were crashed by a man in white

Seems like Blackbeard would have more might

Peter, I'll outfence you like Zorro, see my plan

I make up my verse as I go along like Batman

But wait, that's spoilers I shall not reveal

Saved like a mermaid for doubloons is the deal

You will all remember this as the day that

You almost defeated Captain Sparrow, Jack

But instead I unleashed a cannonball torrent

One shot like Rango, bigger than Broly's mullet

Ben 10:

In the right position in this rap battle royale

Despite Man of Action's mess, fans are loyal

Got Fourarms to hold off any cannonballs

But I'll Fasttrack to my point, the pitfalls

Of being as lame as that big chump Aang

Heatblast up a Swampfire, break what u brang

Pesky Dust a Kickin Hawk to make a Snareoh

Out of these guys trying to be the next pharoah

Percy, you don't really Greymatter at all so

When I do the hard work don't claim the credit o

Why should I bother driving it into your head

Since its obvious Mr Ditto here is braindead

And that's on top of being a dyslexic Echo

Of a mighty race passed away like numero Uno

Yall don't get it, its about permanent sacrifice

But would you like a chance, roll the dice

The Timepiece still clocks down to nothing

But you must be Chromastoned to try and win

I had a Brainstorm, Luke is just bluffing this

Listened to his one and every ineffectual diss

Call up the Maxforce and leave you Pierced

Hole in a chest like was tried by Daddy dearest

Faster, stronger, beat up aliens and superheroes

So that takes out Wolverine, makes survivors 0

Got an Eyeguy on each one of you for all time

Beat you all up in the Street not for one dime

Ryu:

Shoryuken try to take me on, I fight in the street

In battles I beat foes till their beat to the beat

Kid can't even count, he's got over ten forms

I got such elaborate gameplay you're wartorn

Charging up my Hadouken, like for M Bison

Bite off your ear Jack, like I'm really Mike Tyson

Moves more complicated to say then perform

Got real guile and games, just ask Laser corn

Is this a joke? I'm fighting like five little kids

Bust through you Ten just like Aggregor did

Percy, you better head back to your stream

Or I'll haunt you like I do Vega's worst dreams

Harry, step off, I'll leave u with more than scars

Smash you like a Bludger and win this by far

Hadouken Peter like Son Goku's the name

Just like Narnia, you will never be the same

Frodo, grow some, before we all step on you

Leave Luke like C3PO, this los he can't compute

Neo, I'll put you down, you and your dodging

Kick your face thrice and collect the cha-ching

And clawy boy, I'll blast them off like a mask

Hit you so hard you actually remember ur past

Because, who can't beat a man with knives

Beat through your healing factor and cat lives

Like a boss without measure, blazed through

Ten boys too bad at fighting to be called noobs

Sam Witwicky:

Luckily though, you fit the title perfectly Ryu

And I have the calibre backup to defeat you

Buzz around like I'm a real life Bumblebee

Biggest troll cinema and TV ever did see

Jack, I'm one enemy you can't escape from

Won two beautiful girlfriends before prom

Because I blew up the school like Ben dreams

Ben ultimate team is falling apart at the seams

Three pyramids of awesomeness unlike Pete

Ruler of a massive kingdom without streets

Neo, prepare for more explosions than ever

So you can't dodge, cast a gaze like Trevor

Got enough explosions to win a small war

Thank Michael Bay, epic like never before

Luke, I've got a cube with your name on it

Ryu, with my ratchet I'll knock you to Onett

Frodo, you mountain climb, I blast through

Puny New Zealand nature, take my own dues

Like Optimus couldn't slice Saphira into pieces

And Eragon would shoot a Starscream lease us

Harry, leave your little wand on a lockdown bro

Got Grimlock and Drift to beat up Magneto

Got a Sideswipe in there at old man Logan yes

Because when it comes to rapping, I'm the best

True firepower, not scared of punks like Chucky

Do I think I will win? You could say I feel lucky

Dirty Harry:

So you're feeling lucky, punk, good for you Sam

Go ahead, make my day, it'll look good on cam

As to the title, you got as much a chance as Lee

Take out twelve wannabes, make ten and three

Eragon, lets test your magic shield against lead

Two guns with full clips means twelve dead

Not going off half-cocked, its up like it does

When it needs to leave rapped up punks in dust

Sam, you have no class, I exude pure swag

As to your anti-Semitic girl, don't want that hag

In all honesty, I pimp fine unarmed and alone

So how lucky are you Harry and your clones

At least Neo knows you fight with guns out

What was with all those swords, folly no doubt

Jack, run back to your Black Pearl and 7 Seas

Swing away a wannabe Spiderman plus me

You're inspired, that's what's with the one shot

Pete, bullets your end, no chance is what you got

When so many melee fighters combat a star

Take them all down, just wondering how far

James Bond:

You should wonder how long till u get gunned

Down by the spy supreme, seven times no. one

Take out children with my stone cold heart

Diamonds are forever, but your lives just aren't

I'm kicking your ass with license to kill ready

Goldeneye aim, from Russia with love Freddy

Because I got a bullet with a name to linger

And I'll make your Skyfall with 1 shot, Goldfinger

Hit Luke so hard he'll see Frodo in Middle Earth

After I beat up Harry to Jack, for what its worth

Neo, I'm the one with the Quantam of Solace

Cook up a Wolverine and serve it with hommus

Ryu, you fail, go back to fighting on the street

With a clip full of disses Bond can't be beat

Batman:

Since I'm a scientist, I'll be testing that theory

Waiting for you guys to finish up makes me weary

I am the Dark Knight, I am pain from above

Crush Derp-face in my hand like a dove

I beat you once Bond, and I’ll take Frodo

Destroy Peter and hope Harry does a YOLO

Unlike me when I got hit by Omega Beams

You punks plans are falling apart at the seams

Luke and Frodo, I’ll send your times running amok

Neo, Ryu, Ben take three letter words like a truck

Jack, Wolverine and Percy, knock you all of the blimp

And Peter’s broken, you can lock them up now Jim

Terminator:

You thought that was the end? You’re crazy Bruce

I see fifteen chumps who are about to lose

Loose so many bullets you’ll die in a few seconds

Only one or two will survive, so I reckon

Neo, you may dodge bullets but I’ll snap you in half

You’re bragging makes even a robot start to laugh

Just ask Agent Smith, you’ll be dead and buried

Eragon, your speed may be unmatched but I’m ready

Withstand your flame just like with Robocop

I’ll be back but back your elven ass will be not

Stronger than all of you, despite my robotic frailty

Against my onslaught, you all are paling

Blade:

Actually Arnold, they just saw me walking in

Harry, block all your spells with my blading

Take out a half-size hater with a unique sword

Take down Sam’s bots like I’m a Megazord

Bond, get bent with your bullets I slice in pieces

Everyone knows your name, so you can’t reach this

I cull vampires by the dozens with a couple knives

Man or beast, Batman won’t leave alive

Since he’ll be broken just like he was by Bane

I’ll leave an emo more messed up than Kurt Cobain

I’m a legendary slayer, no one can touch my level

Compared to me, Harry is worse than Neville

Edward Cullen:

Guess that makes two half-bloods for me to beat

Drain all your blood and leave you out on the street

Percy, get back to your camp, no way will you endure

I’ll rip you apart like James and leave you in the sewer

Steal Annabelle from your arms and leave a corpse

Because I’m coming at you with full force

Super speed, blink around with invincible chest

And still you all think you’re even near the best?

Suck dry Bruce’s accounts like I do his veins

But I best have him facing away, I don’t want stains

Shaggy:

It’s time to solve a mystery: How anyone likes you

You’re some half naked chump making me blue

The cheesiest story line anyone has heard of

Going and giving anything up for some love

I gave up love for my best friends on many occasions

I’m the hippest hipster, leave you as mental patients

Fought fake monsters turned real so face me

I may be scared but not even T-800 threatens see

Short out your system, you’ve been beaten many times

Still winning, against heroes or monsters with rhymes

Iron Man:

The name is Tony Stark and I’m richer than you all

Bigger heartthrob than Cullen so you’ll fall

Bruce thinks he’s a billionaire, pfft that broke kid?

Shaggy as you are, I would rather face up against Sid

Luke is supposed to be futuristic with his 2x4 tech?

Invented that when I was 12, haven’t unveiled it yet

Logan, Adamantium is a thing of the past, heard of Uru

Sam, I’m a better a robot, Eragon face my CTHULU

Made it last night, don’t even believe in magic

If you think you’d last then this is tragic

Because no one can beat the Stark on the Iron Throne

You ain’t worth my time, I’ll leave you all alone

Cat in the Hat: Goodbye Stark, guess that means I’ll dominate

Shut down your little suit and take your date

Have you looked at the time? It’s time I win

Blade, shut up, your rhymes are just sin

I give kids nightmares because I’m a beast

T-800 was shut down because he’s the least

Already took down a man called Shakespeare

So I’ll take down Mr Jackson with a spear

Gonna pull a rabbit out of my hat? No sorry

I won this battle, so kids don’t worry

Yes I shot down magicians and vampires alike

And sent Witwicky back onto his little pink bike

Freddy Krueger:

You think you cause nightmares? Don’t you know me

Beat the best and the worst, inspirational defeat

Krueger is the literal lord of nightmares

Make Stark wet his metal underwear

No enemy can face down Freddy

Intimidate all who see me so are you really ready

This battle won’t end like when I fought Jason

You’ll all surrender when you see who you’re facing

Wolverine thinks he has claws, I’ll show him truth

Bruce Wayne will win? Show me some proof

Casey Jones:

I live with mutant turtles why would claws scare me

Freddy, you’re less frightening than Ron Jeremy

Take down purple dragons, a blue one is a change

Tech man with a Cthulu, man that’s strange

And Freddy, this will end worse than with Voorhees

I got a cooler hockey mask, can’t touch these

Some of you call yourself vigilantes but don’t rate

Pretty sure Shaggy is the coolest here, don’t hate

Who needs to sleep when you’ve got coffee bro

Trained ninjas in hockey, take you out in slow mo

Star-Lord: I’m hooked on a feeling

You’re high if you’re believing

That you could be Star-Lord

You should be ignored

But now to start rapping with a killer flow

Seen all your crap, take it blow by blow

Casey, you’re movie sucked like skipping stones

Short out Robots and Avengers like clones

I took down Ronan, that’s why I’m rolling

Leave Ryu groaning, beat Bat with bowling

The Cat being here just makes me embarrassed

This will be sadder than Sephiroth versus Aerith

Asterix:

It would be if people actually liked you

Rule all comics, it’s the indomitable Gaul to chew

Out a group of losers smaller than I take daily

Will I need Getafix’s potions to win maybe

But that’s only if a real contender comes in

Someone worthy of my calibre makes this begin

Hooked on a feeling? You’re hooked on drugs

Take these out faster than I take out Roman thugs

Bat and Casey may have experience fighting numbers

But let’s see if they, Harry or Peter can fight a thumper

While Stark is the future today I’m happy with the past

Good news is I saved the easiest for last

A robot beaten by a pipe bomb and some kids

Ben don’t rate the Omnitrix he’s sick

I’m older than you Logan, and less sadistic

Let’s see Sam take on this Gaelic mystic

Ben Richards:

I’ll take you on like I did the Running Man competition

Tried to save the innocent, that is my admission

I am a good man, save lives, even if I don’t succeed

Rebellious as you may be, Rome hit Gaul out of AD

This robot wannabe me has stolen my face

So I’ll rip it off him and put him in his place

Heroic man with an inspiring story that’s me

And I’ll rule this life for everyone to see

Take the hand I’m dealt and win regardless

While all you chumps are left cardless

Asterix, you’re about to get taken down again

And Quill you’re a worse hero than Ben 10

Rocky Balboa:

I’ll punch out this man before he has a chance to run

Have one verse and all opposition will be done

Took out stars like Mr T and Dolph Lundgren with a fist

If my trainer Mick wasn’t, no way will you be missed

Leave both Schwarzenegger’s dead and Stalloned

You all annoy me as much as my sons, take this alone

Ryu, I’ll knock your little kung fu punk straight out

Literal world champion, win a rap royale no doubt

Because I have muscles so thick I punch meat

Which none of you have so you’ve all been beat

Agent J:

Time for the black man in black to take this battle

Blast you down with the hornet, and all your prattle

Is inane and annoying, you can’t touch Agent J

Take out Star-Lord like other aliens every day

A pair of claws, of vamps, of half-bloods and punchers

When it comes to ammo to unleash I’ve got a bunch of

Shoot down Rocky, should have stuck to punching beef

Leave Percy in pieces broken on the gory street

Peter can’t take me on, don’t care about his boasts

One and all of you chumps are my chocolate milk toast

Riddick:

Now you’re facing Riddick, send you back to Marvel

Along with Stark, Logan and Star-lord with Mar Vell

Stronger than Superman, I’ll outlast everything

Look at my eyes, and then look at my bling

Made it out of dead chumps like Jack Sparrow

The dancing pirate’s chance of victory is narrow

You can’t face what I’ve done, not Rocky not T800

Those aliens would give Freddy nightmares done Fred

This is the chronicle of Riddick, you can’t beat Picard

When I have won I’ll show you how to die hard

McClane:

Okay Riddick, a real man will show you how to Die Hard

The name is McClane and I’ll go the ten yards

Riddick, you’re a chump, I’ll rip out your eyes

You’ll end up beaten and shot, don’t deny

Along with your whole race, so don’t you dare

Try to kill me off, equal competition is rare

Ben better be a running man if he wants to live

Wannabes are people I just don’t forgive

Take out Bond before he turns around to fire

Burn the house down on you losers with some fire

The One:

I am the one that will you take you all down

Outlasted most of my alternates and went to the pound

I’m a badass karate man, doing some moon jumps

So I’ll fly in the air and spray bullets on you chumps

Pretty sure that I’m faster than all of you, yes Neo

After I plant one hit he’ll be flying like Rio

Dodge all your attacks, but you can’t dodge mine

The second last of me, I’ll repay in kind

For all your lame disses you will sleep with the fishes

So stone-hard I don’t want you guys to miss this

Ryu thinks he can fight, and Balboa thinks he’s strong

Unleash my fist of fury and prove you both wrong

Shaggy back away, I promise this won’t be fun

Since you are all about to come face-face with the One

The Godfather:

I’ll make you an offer that you can’t refuse

Bow down to the Godfather or I’ll light this fuse

Of a rap bomb, set to diss you all to death

Leave you with no breath, make you bereft

Of life, this Bruce Lee wannabe will get shot

I am the winner in this battle, and J is not

Eragon better get Era gone when I step in

You say you’re the One, leave you dancing on a pin

Harry, wash yourself now you’re in my presence

None of you could face the threat that I present

Because your facing Corleone, so please kneel

Since half of you are hipsters, homie do you feel?

Robin Hood:

Do you feel that I’m about to loose wooden rain

Headshot J, leave him screaming about pain

Blade won’t make it far with an arrow in his chest

The One who will win? Man do you jest

Batman may have faced my ripoff Queen

But I’ll amaze everyone who’s ever (argh – dies)

Superman:

The name is Kal-El the king of super kind

Got Krypto on my back so you’ll find

That it’s kinda hard to even get near

To the pinnacle of hope making you fear

The name is Hopeman, with the S emblem

Floating in the clouds, leave you trembling

Hood was a hood, a common crook is no more

This is the Pisa straightening Supes, number four

I am a badass Kryptonian, hit you harder than

That Bizarro-ish chump called Nuclear Man

The Doctor:

You want to speak of heroes, I’ve stepped to the plate

Before is I, the last Gallifreyan, the Doctor the Great

Wouldn’t need Kryptonite to take down Clark Kent

The one and only Doctor, understand what I meant

Hood isn’t real, none of you actually are

Even with super speed Superman won’t go very far

Say you inspire hope? Please tell me you’re joking

Coming up: Undertaker, Jason Bourne, Spiderman, Rambo, Maxwell Smart, Robocop, Jason Voorhees, Scorpion, Austin Powers, Rorschach, Number Four and 54 others, some I'll think of and hopefully some will be commented.