User blog:BackToTheFuturama86/The Queen of Hearts vs The Wicked Witch of the West. Epic Rap Battles of Villainy Season 1

Hey, remember these? No? Oh well, fine. I see how it is...

But in all seriousness, I got a new laptop last night so I decided I shouldn't keep putting this off and finally picked up where I left off a couple months ago.

Today's battle features some characters probably. They're evil n stuff. If you don't know who they are, I honestly have no idea what your childhood was like but it must've been horrible.

Thanks to Grav for helping with a lot of the lines. Also thanks to Leandro for the iTunes cover and title cards

Anyway, here's the battle, or something.

Cast
Alyssa Preston as The Queen of Hearts

Whitney Avalon as The Wicked Witch of the West

Nice Peter as The Knave (speaking cameo)

EpicLLOYD as A Flying Monkey (cameo)

The Battle






VS!!

BEGIN!!

Let a real queen  burn this Blair Witch Reject at the stake

I'm beheading peasants like Antoinette, but I won't be letting you eat cake

I've got mad execution skills in spades, cause we're all mad here

I drop axes and taxes on aquaphobes 'till they disappear

The Wicked WItch's a crooked bitch, now that's a real tongue twister

Where we differ's that I want power; you want your sister's slippers

I'll line you up with Pink Floyd then send you to the Dark Side of the Moon

So have fun with your enslaved Winkie guards and your fuckfaced flying baboons

Hey Gulch, just follow the yellow brick road back to Aunt Em and Uncle Henry

Cause I can tell from your sickly green complexion that I'm filling you with envy

This MGM ho won't let guy down her rabbit hole cause she's afraid of getting wet

But you might as well face the facts, ding-dong: the Wicked Witch is dead

Hahahaha! Did you really think you could try defying me ?

I'm Nightmare Fuel, while you're a Tim Burton wet dream

I'll diss this discarded card calling out to her soldiers

Cause I'm Ace against this Joker with a chip on her shoulder

You always tend to talk big, but you let it go straight to your head, Queen

But if you had a brain, you'd know you're a lesser threat than the Red Queen

When it comes to pissed off, loud mouthed, red-faced Trump cards, I rank higher

You can ask the Scarecrow, I've been known to spit fire

Somewhere, over the rainbow, L. Frank Baum did some trippy drugs

Then came up with your story, which is getting cut down faster than the Jitterbug

Go back to playing croquet with exotic birds and rodents

Call this battle Munchkinland, cause after this, I fucking owned it

I can tell I played my hand right cause your poker face is melting

Piss off, Adele Dazeem, go back to Broadway with those high notes you're belting

The deck is stacked against this nag whose wretched laugh will make you gag

Instead of sending Meg to hell, beheading's how I'll best this hag

Take a look at our adaptations and you'll notice a common thread

You just want Franco in bed, while I flow like my moat's floating heads

I've got this battle locked up. Look, even my servants are saying it!

Knave! Yes, m'lady? Tell her. She appears to be slaying it!

You must've fallen Through the Looking-Glass, 'cause you've got yourself backwards

Your raps are even pour-er than a teapot from the Hatter

The Queen of Hearts, she was a tart, who wasn't very smart

Then the Wicked Witch of the West went wild and started tearing her apart

You'd better watch your back before you decide to slep to Elphaba

Cause it would really be a shame if, like my sis, a farmhouse fell on ya

This coward must be lyin' if she thinks she's got the nerve

You're not in Wonderland anymore, honey, you just landed in my turf

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I'VE ALREADY DECIDED

EEEEEEEPIC *Wicked Witch's laugh* RAP BATTLES OF VILLAINY!!!

Who won?
Who won? The Queen of Hearts The Wicked Witch of the West

Hint to (maybe) the next battle: Pea soup and snow