User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 22: Agumon vs Gon

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles!

Well, this happened. It wasn't supposed to happen but I loved the idea too much for it not to happen. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope all of you have an equally (or even slightly) fun time reading!

This battle pits tiny orange reptile Digimon Agumon against tiny orange dinosaur Gon to see who's the better tiny orange reptile dinosaur...thing.

Enjoy!

Beat: Warrior

Agumon
(starts at 0:22)

You want to fight the Crest of Courage? You have no chance to prevail.

You’re like the Odd Job of Playstation. You’re DigiDestined to fail!

Didn’t notice a nest of eggs on your head for weeks? What a bird brain!

Talks only in squeaks but soon you’ll be fluently speaking pain!

But looks like you finally get to fight with a reptile your own height!

I mean, how did your Anime cross the pond at all? Oh, wait. That’s right...

It didn’t! If you think you’re hot stuff you must be Tekken the piss!

‘Cuz I got the hotter lines, sharper rhymes and sick attacks to leave you dissed!

Gon
(starts at 0:46)

Listen up, Rookie. You don’t want to get this bad-tempered critter pissed!

I’ll leave you Dino-sore if you dick with the King of Iron Fist!

I’m the guardian of this forest, and I say get the fuck out, bub!

Because these lush, hand-drawn landscapes would be spoiled with your blood!

That verse did zero damage. Even your Pepper Breath’s more likely to burn me.

I’ll make this poké-ripoff faint easier than accidentally killing a tamagotchi!

KO, Perfect, Great? Doesn’t matter. Your annoying ass is still going bye-bye.

Now die! I can tell you this battle sure isn’t going to be a Tai.

Agumon
(new beat)

''Agumon. Digivolve to...

Greymon!''

Greymon
(starts at 0:11)

Just like your manga, you’ve left me totally speechless.

But unlike your manga, people have actually heard of my fearlessness!

I’ll Nova Blast this toad till I turn his leather ass into lines of code!

While you’re looping like a vine, every time. A pretty shitty prize for arcade mode!

Just like unlocking you by playing some X-treme Beach Tekken Ball.

Keep farting at foes, I’ll vaccinate a virus with my Fire Wall!

This time it won’t be King who has a flatulent midget pinned

By the time I’m through with my onslaught, you’ll be Gon with the Wind!

Gon
(skip to 0:43)

You rap just like you protect your friends; Not very well.

And now I’m difficult as all hell. Harder than my turtle shell!

You’ll get the shit kicked from you quick when I get Paleolithic,

With the skills to make even True Ogre look like a total bitch!

Hell, it was only my reluctance to deal extreme violence to minors,

That stopped me from busting your small orange ass with a Frankensteiner!

But now you’re fair game, and I don’t give a single fuck that you’re tall!

Because the bigger you are, Greymon, the harder you’ll fall.

Poll
WHO WON? Agumon/Greymon Gon