User blog:Hippie Rat/Inception vs Assassin's Creed

Hey yo hi hello

I give 100% permission to the use of my lyrics in any audio and/or visual production, as long as credit is given where credit is due. A beat can be requested if so necessary. It would also be appreciated that, if any lyrics are used, a link to the production be sent to me. Any questions and/or links can most easily be sent in my most recent blog. Thank you very much.

So today's battle may need some explanation. It's Leonardo DiCaprio's character in the hit Nolan film, Inception, Dom Cobb, against Ezio Auditore, a fan favorite character in the Assassin's Creed series. To keep the connection simple, a large portion of both media follows people being hooked up to a machine to exist inside thoughts/memories/dreams/whatever. Enjoy :)

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Dom Cobb vs Ezio ! Begin!

Ezio Auditore:

Blare the tubas, (BWOOOONG!) And a skippy "evviva!" for Ezio,

Who's about to assassinate another failed role for DiCaprio.

You don't want to mess with me, Cobb, I got a few tricks up my sleeve,

Leave it to the dude with Insomnia to make a movie about sleeping.

Think that I'm a bad guy but you got it all wrong,

It's an illusion brought about by a virus in your mind,

Your whole team and their damn don Dom Cobb,

Will sit back PASIVly while this invader comes stabbing like a hidden knife.

Firey Firenze is spitting straight fire,

I got my own Leonardo, not some mediocre ritardando for hire.

I been racking my mind but can't figure out the maze your movie is,

But I guess it hit its mark, I actually slept right through it!

Dom Cobb:

Woke up on the beach, normal morning routine,

'Bout to throw you off a tower, but ain't gonna be a new dream.

If you're looking for a gang war, I'll be glad to make you a crip,

Leap of faith? We just call it a kick.

What the hell even happened to Assassin's Creed?

I heard something about a pirate one then it's all Greek to me.

Or is it Powhatan? British? I can't keep track of it,

Couldn't tell who you were anyway with that giant hood on your jacket.

You're like one of those teenage girls acting like they got culture,

Well you still the same cheese, no matter what percent of Italian you are.

All you turkeys ain't no eagle, this urban bird's a pigeon ever,

I'm an Escher pushing Altair, guess birds of a feather fall off a building together.

Levitt to me, beating me is in your dreams, extrusion,

So dope I made Batman fans scratch their heads in confusion.

You flipped shit when your brothers and daddy got killed off,

So how you think you're going hard when clearly Ubisoft?

You say my story's confusing but I don't want yours near me,

When Assassin's Creed IV is like the sixth game in the series!

So quit with the cringy da Vinci things you do when Animus activates,

Now if you excuse me, I got an Oscar to celebrate.

*Cobb falls off the building to get out of limbo*

*Ezio follows Cobb with a leap of faith*

*the kick wakes up Cobb, he's hooked up to the PASIV along with a man with his face obscured by a white hoodie*

*Cobb lifts the hood to reveal....*

Desmond Miles:

You better watch, dawg, when you step to Desmond,

Walk Miles in my shoes and you'll see: this movie shoulda been scrapped in its inception.

You're a far cry from having the skills of an Assassin,

So Abster-go back to your suicidal wife in,

Limbo, how deep can you go?

Before time slows so you can see the swift speed of Ezio.

Tell the Templars that the Assassins are a part of me,

The Creed is in my blood and you'll never steal my memory!

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Trivia

 * This battle was inspired by Assassin's Creed vs Hitman by Video Game Rap Battles, which was source of complaint due to lesser quality despite a large length of time spent waiting for the battle to be made.
 * This is my second battle to make use of the A-B-A-B rhyme scheme, after Silicon Valley vs The Last Man on Earth.
 * Some lines pay homage to my Homer vs Dante battle (including my use of "Evivva!", which is essentially an Italian cheer of celebration).
 * Desmond Miles's appearance is in reference to both Assassin's Creed vs Hitman and The Ultimate Video Game Rap Battle by Justin Buckner.
 * Altaïr's exclusion from the battle was simply because I felt it was too predictable.
 * Scrapped lyrics! vvvvvvv

Scrapped Lyrics
Dom Cobb:

How's that for a leap of faith? I'll be the Blood, you'll be a crip,

Hell, where I come from we call it a kick.

Desmond Miles:

I can assure you, your daddy-in-law is less of a Miles than me.

Polls
Who won? Inception Assassin's Creed

Who's next? Democritus vs Aristotle Shrek vs Gaben