User blog:Hippie Rat/Nova vs Kootra

My season 2 premiere. After the controversial move of leaving out a bunch of the Justice League, I'm making sure to include everyone from The Creatures LLC in this, right down to the interns. This battle has been in the writing for the longest time, as the first version was finished almost 2 years ago, and then more people were added (and one was taken out) as the Creatures changed, plus a couple chisels here and there. This battle is also paired with a battle between UberHaxorNova (featured as a title rapper in this) against VanossGaming. You can find that on my blog or my user page.

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Nova vs Kootra! Begin!

Nova:

You know me, I'll bring up subscribers right off the bat,

Millions of soldiers in the Anal Army, fuck "Kootra's Kats".

How the hell are you our boss? You're more of a scrub than MLG,

So back the fuck off, I'm powered by NOS, they fucking sponsored me.

I'm a Class A A-hole, so quit your droll,

Lest I'll smash you over the head with all of your consoles.

When you go trying to steal my style, making Thor Loki, being a jerk,

There's a reason you have that meme with that ridiculous smirk.

Get that thing off of your head, that Cardinals hat,

Know that nothing will stop you from smelling like Liquid Ass.

You're nothing but a loser, without a subscriber or a fan,

Going against the Creature with better screams than Pogostick Man!

Kootra:

Go ahead, keep screaming, nothing will change,

Except the quality of your videos, lowering everyday.

There's no reason to rap against you, I'm sure your verse was copied from Pewds,

Could you clean yourself up? And seriously, rid your face of those pubes.

From your Gimme Dats to your classics, your fame is a riddle,

I'll send an army of cats upon you to play you like a fiddle.

Every time we've faced each other before, you've gotten filled with dread,

Dern sure, I'm gonna win, like in Q.U.B.E. in Head 2 Head.

I'll knock you out like its a boxing match, then make it YOUR channel classic,

In every single skit we do, you're always way too dramatic.

Call this CreatureCraft, you're being Ex-Communicated,

Call this the Star Trek Movie Trip, you're left behind, mutilated.

You think you know all about every game, well gee, so does Ze,

Watch your videos? I'd rather listen to ten hours of D4NNY.

ZeRoyalViking:

I may know the same that the average gamer does,

And your gaming hasn't been so smooth since your swatting was,

But I've been in school and still stepping up my game with ChilledChaos,

If you're so impressed, that just shows that you suck, because,

James, you're just a hothead freak,

You curse in every single sentence you speak.

Your channel truly relies on your and Sp00n's alliance,

I'm gonna shoot only you down to see your reaction, for science!

And Jordan, you got no right to mention how dramatic someone is,

When your best job in acting is acting like you can actually run a business.

I'll take down this thieving lowlife who thinks his lowlights are so ultra,

ZeRoyalViking on Ze mic and he'll break the Kootra!

Dex:

The Brit of the Crits is here to teach you a lesson,

If you do nothing #forthegroup then you can't be messin'.

You're gonna piss yourselves when I come after these fools,

Leavin James raging like I broke the rules.

So fans, again, I'm sorry that I randomly intruded,

But with these three, man, the sanity's not included.

Left Sly packing when the new Creature was Dex Man,

I'll do the same to you, all for the motherland!

ImmortalHD:

Damn dude, sounds like thing are getting 2Sp00ky4U.

ImmortalHD, bitches, you got some love, show me,

Yeah I represent the Nobs and taking over Creature Homies.

I don't care if you call me 4L3KS,

Or MC Railman, or even the pritty dowp DJ Funky Fresh.

I'm the dopest flowing-est Marchant going marching to your defeat,

Y'all childish dweebs, you best be scared of me.

Or I'll come and snap a pallet, man, all over the place,

Go Marshall or stream, you ugly bitches will be the new face.

James, you're getting hated from all directions, the victim's just a stage,

Like your fake acting when you make a video for your rage.

And now the tables have been turned, and it's time for your slaying,

I'll call in the Nobs, you know it's all over when you hear them saying-

Nobs:

Nobs for life, Nobs for life, Nobs for life, Nobs! For life!

Danz Newz:

I'm usually not much of a fighter, more a creative Creature,

Yet with my computer skills, I'm the best thing this battle's featured.

I don't follow Creature News, I make it,

Every fan we have agrees that I'm too underrated.

Try some Papa Rick's Crispy Chicken, or some bread of my brand,

You said something offensive? I had nothing to do with it. Hi, I'm Dan.

I'm sick and tired of your scheiße,

Danz Newz's review of this is that I won without a flaw.

SSoHPKC:

It's Seamus, here I come to save the day,

I'll shoot y'all in the head, Dome'd from my Shotgun Rain.

I mean James, you're like a druggie, Aleks you're an angry Russian,

Sir Seamus of Halo Psycho Kinetic Collaboration.

Dex, when you hear, you're gonna piss,

No one wanted you to be in this.

Riddle me this, BatDanz, what gives you and Koots,

All the right to kick Max out of the group?

Plus-Twenty in rapping, you guys just don't compare,

Aleksandr, you know who can't hear my disses? Oscar.

GoldenBlackHawk:

Shut it, Fabio, you gotta go,

And Aleks turn and run back home.

Back to Chernobyl, and I'll still,

Be here kicking the asses of the posers who think they got more skill.

Came here from the clan of Draven,

Heart and hair blacker than a raven.

There's no safe haven when you mess with TomAnex,

Got that style and flow and you know it's too complex.

Besides, who IS this faggot? He sounds like a faggot,

You're deficient and pathetic.

How mad are you kid? You got wrecked, mate,

I'll beat your ass any day, you wanna fucking bet, mate?

This GoldenBlackHawk ain't going down,

GG, get ready for the next round.

The Interns:

Just had to edit this in, the intern ass-whooping,

You bring us into everything, we might as well be part of the grouping.

We're here before you are and gone after you leave,

You stink more than fart spray pranks and a baby monkey.

Cause your shit's sour, we the nicest dudes that's going on over he'e,

We lay down the road you walk on, so escort us to E3.

We'll beat you up and put it up tomorrow on The Hub,

We the King, super smash these bros, and it looks like we won.

Had enough? What you want? For us to make you more content?

We diss out you bitches like the YouTube comments.

You think you're all "professional" just because you're an office company.

Well we're the employees representing The Creatures LLC.

Sp00nerism:

You wanna go? Huh? YOU WANNA FUCKING GO?

You'll be going against the horse-man with the most flow.

Since 2130, I've had the.... SPACE RAPS,

Instead of a taser, I have a real gun to pop caps in your ass.

I'm the hybrid on the high horse, loved by all,

All y'all pieces of poop are just starting a downfall.

Livin' in a lonely pineapple world, at least I live away from these butts,

One last thing, I don't give a fuck if I broke the rules.

Nova:

Goddammit!

Sp00nerism:

Wat?

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Poll
Who won? UberHaxorNova Kootra ZeRoyalViking Dex ImmortalHD DanzNewz SSoHPKC GoldenBlackHawk The Interns Sp00nerism