User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS Season 2: Baldur vs Achilles

Hello my fairies! I'll make this quick. It's Greek indestructible hero versus Norse indestructible hero with overprotective mothers etc idk, anyway thanks to Bran, Legion, and Night for proofreading and Leandro for the amazing cover. Let's check in first, ay? (check out drak's new battle btw and sorry if your battle came out today and I forgot about it).



Beat
Demons

Starts at 0:25

Baldur:
I had a dream I would die in battle but not from the likes of this

crossdresser scared of war and the vagina of his married bitch! 

I got some advice kid, but it might be too sharp to handle,

If your weakness is your ankle, then don’t fucking wear sandals!

So you better tend to your tendon before Baldur leaves you tender 

Til Valhalla! And the All-Father, I was born to be a winner!

You’re gonna falter against Baldur the biggest baller of the conquerors <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1;background:black;mso-highlight:black; mso-fareast-language:EN-US">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#E1E1E1;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Better holler when I spit a million pyres of your slaughtered soldiers! <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1;background:black;mso-highlight:black; mso-fareast-language:EN-US">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#E1E1E1;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Here to bring the light of pure to blind the wrestler who takes it farther, <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1;background:black;mso-highlight:black; mso-fareast-language:EN-US">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#E1E1E1;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Who never lived to see the fall of Troy, but outlasted his bastard lover!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">The Greeks would’ve never made the Horse if you had still been alive,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">You’re just another wasted pawn of a fat cuckold’s pride!

Achilles:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Ho men! We hit the shore,   drag in your oars and grab your swords

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Sandals to the sand, band together and shred the Norse incestual hordes! <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "TimesNewRoman";color:#F7A800;background:black;mso-highlight:black; mso-fareast-language:EN-US">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">But first let me greet the man, like my mic, is only known for being slayed

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">We’ll shake hands, treat him like I would a real god and spit in his face!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">I’m ruthless against a brutish sucker with an overprotective mother

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Who sold her body to every being to insure her little baby never suffered

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">I spit sharper than that fatal dart thrown by your neglected brother

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">You’re the only coarse Norse who couldn’t cut the Avengers!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%;tab-stops:243.0pt"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">You died before the great war began, how sad is that, by gods

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%;tab-stops:243.0pt"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">I’m the coldest rep of the homosexuals, so you can call me Bi-Frost

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%;tab-stops:243.0pt"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">You’re not a fighter just a stuffed dummy that your brothers practice with!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%;tab-stops:243.0pt"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Shame you’re afraid of mistletoe, it’s your only chance of getting kissed…

Baldur:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#E1E1E1;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Ha! You know nothing about the gods, I bask with every creature of my liking,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#E1E1E1;background:black; mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">My crew will set up camp in your lands and father ten thousand more Vikings!

Achilles:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%;tab-stops:243.0pt"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:Arial;color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Styx and stones can’t break my bones so your words have no effect on me

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Helen’s cursed heart will stop; when I break this Cupid’s wings!

Baldur:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">For one who wants to be a proper lady you sure followed the sailors

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">The god of acceptance has moved past you, I forgive you for your failures

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Your son’s like Menelaus, both grabbed babies and attacked Troy

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#E1E1E1; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">Your name is a disgrace, it’s just a synonym for weak point!

Achilles:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">People have fear of what I bring, you’re a bigger drag than Hector,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">My victories remain immortal because my veins bleed nectar!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">I fathered a line of conquerors and smashed the seed of the Romans

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: 200%"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";color:#F7A800; background:black;mso-highlight:black;mso-fareast-language:EN-US">You have no protection against this pounding; I’ve destroyed all the Trojans

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE

a wooden horse rolls into the frame and hordes of logos burst out

MYTHICAL BATTLES OF HISTORICAL SHIT



Poll
Who Won? Baldur Achilles