User blog:Ecaille13/American Gods Rap Battle: Ostara vs Vulcan

Here's some infos that you need to understand this battle, if you want :

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/AmericanGods2017 (jump to Easter and Vulcan).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_(mythology)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%92ostre

Vulcan :

I heard about Easter but who knows about falling Ol'stara's story?

I should shoot you but it would be a sacrifice to the god of idiocy.

You adapted so well to modernity that it created for you the pesticide.

You're so deflowered of worships, so we call you Ostaracized.

Here's my wife, Miss Litia, "say hello to grandma".

Turn the pagan on this forgotten one, next step dementia.

No, wiccannot remember who you are.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Wait, you're not the Easter Bunny, you're the losing hare.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I asked TV why she's turned off with Easter.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She answered "Wecause she's a witch bho deserves the pyre".

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I never miss my shot, I can say that you're holed.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">You should run away before your Shadow also get sold.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;">

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Ostara :

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Spring ringleader's coming! When they say "Fire", I say Vulcan no!

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">You're into shootings? Why geo books are the sole to have your photo?

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I am Ostara of the Dawn, and you want to bring me down?

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Is that head trauma after your parents wanted to made you drown?

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Amusing yet deadbeat, let's call you Russian Roulette.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Ammos rain in your town to tell you "Kick the bullet".

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I turn shit into candies, with you I got a feast of chocolate.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">You're the god of the Forge? No wonder, fakass hypocrate.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">You're named after a disaster and you're what your family regrets.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Can I Ostaraloger? Your lover is gravitating around others planets.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;">

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Vulcan :

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">You call that hurting? I'm the master of S and W.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Goddess of the fertility but children don't care about you.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I'm bigger than Elmer Feud and you're a damsel in disses.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I could craft you a brain, still truer than your feastervities.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Are you furry Os', that people's cares rot for you?

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Or that the New gods never considered you as new?

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I'm a blacksmith and weapon son but what about your ancestral conception?

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Oh yeah. There's opinions saying you're an 8th-century invention.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">If my home is broken, your creation is a dissection.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">For a pro in babymaking, your early birth seems to be a C-section.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;">

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Ostara : Suck an egg 'cause you have no dick.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I'm the Queen of Thorns, I can tell that you're a prick.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I lack of worships? You're a sacrifice to your own faction.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">And the only one worshipping yourself, it's spiritual masturbation.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Oh. You're the king of nothing 'cause you were beheaded!

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">People are pissed by you, even dead get urinated for what you did.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">I'm controlling plants, I've the upper hand on your family jewels.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Boys with their toys, but in conquest the Dame rules.

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Odin told me "He vas zee tossed", I said "He was the toast."

<p class="Paragraph SCX251157464" paraeid="{6542167c-6eaa-4291-a66a-1d66d510bfef}{141}" paraid="1445918323" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;user-select:text;-webkit-user-drag:none;-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent;word-wrap:break-word;font-weight:normal;color:windowtext;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Come here and you get Oasted, thus like your brain, get lost.