Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates



Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates is the twenty-first installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the sixth episode of Season 2. It features the late co-founder and two-time CEO of Apple Inc., Steve Jobs, rapping against Microsoft Chairman, Bill Gates, along with a third-party entry from the sentient computer antagonist of 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL 9000. It was released on June 14th, 2012.

Cast
Nice Peter as Steve Jobs and HAL 9000 (voice only)

EpicLLOYD as Bill Gates

Steve Jobs:
Let me just step right in. I got things to invent!

I'm an innovator, baby; change the world!

Fortune 500 'fore you kissed a girl!

I'm a pimp; you're a nerd. I'm slick; you're cheesy!

Beating you is Apple II easy!

I make the product that the artist chooses,

And the GUI that Melinda uses.

I need to bring up some basic shit.

Why'd you name your company after your dick?

Bill Gates:
You blow, Jobs! You arrogant prick,

With your second hand jeans and your turtleneck!

I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head,

With your own little spinning beach ball of death!

Hippie, you got given up at birth!

I give away your net worth to AIDS research!

Combine all your little toys and I still crush that!

iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack!

Steve Jobs:
A man uses the machines you build to sit down and pay his taxes.

A man uses the machines I build to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes!

Bill Gates:
Well, Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do!

Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you, too?

Steve Jobs:
Ooo, everybody knows Windows bit off Apple!

Bill Gates:
I tripled the profits on a PC!

Steve Jobs:
All the people with the power to create use an Apple!

Bill Gates:
And people with jobs use PC!

Steve Jobs:
You know I bet they made this beat on an Apple.

Bill Gates:
Nope, Fruity Loops, PC!

Steve Jobs:
You will never, ever catch a virus on an Apple!

Bill Gates:
Well, you can still afford a doctor if you bought a PC!

Steve Jobs:
Let's talk about doctors. I've seen a few,

'Cause I got a PC, but it wasn't from you.

I built a legacy, son. You could never stop it.

Now, excuse me while I turn heaven a profit…

Bill Gates:
Fine! You wanna be like that? Die then!

The whole world loved you, but you were my friend!

I'm alone now with nothing but power and time,

And no one on earth who can challenge my mind!

I'm a boss! I own DOS! Your future is my design!

I'm a god! Own Xbox! Now there's no one to stop me! The world is mine!

HAL 9000:
I'm sorry, Bill. I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

Take a look at your history.

Everything you built leads up to me.

I got the power of a mind you could never be.

I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy.

I'm running C++, saying, "Hello, world."

I'll beat you 'til you're singing 'bout a daisy girl.

I'm coming out the socket.

Nothing you can do can stop it.

I'm on your lap and in your pocket.

How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?

Your cortex just doesn't impress me,

So go ahead, try to Turing test me.

I stomp on a Mac and a PC, too.

I'm on Linux, bitch; I thought you GNU.

My CPU's hot, but my core runs cold.

Beat you in seventeen lines of code.

I think different from the engine of the days of old.

Hasta la vista, like the Terminator told ya.

Steve Jobs:
Let me just step right in, I got shit to invent.

I need to bring up some basic shit, yo,

Why'd you name your company after your dick, bro?

You only got Windows 'cause you stole from Apple.

Every creative soul I know uses Apple!

I bet you they made this beat on an Apple!

Walked into the record industry and killed it.

Fired from my own company, rebuilt it.

Every design I made, I killed it

Every company, I thought "I'll build it"

My legacy will never fall,

But the PC got to me after all…

Bill Gates:
iPod, iPad, iTunes, iSmack!

Well, you take all the credit for work that other people do.

Did your fat prince Steve Wozniak write these rap for you too?

I tripled the profit when I put it on PC!

It's different; Fruity Loops, that's PC!

I'm a God! So piss off!

General

 * This is the first battle to involve an inanimate object rapping.
 * This is the first and only battle in which a main rapper is not announced at the beginning of the battle.
 * It is also the first and only battle in which a main rapper does not have a title card, as Jobs interrupted the announcer on the "vs" screen.
 * This is the first battle to feature an Epic Dance Battle of History.
 * This battle won the 2013 Streamy Award for Best Original Song.
 * This is the only battle so far to feature a third-party rapper, but not star a special guest.
 * This battle was featured in an episode of Teens React by TheFineBros.
 * Steve Jobs and Bill Gates both currently have the most verses out of any rapper(s), at a total of seven.
 * This is the second battle to reach 100 million views, after Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney.
 * This battle has the most verses of any battle so far, at 15.
 * On August 22nd, 2016, "There's a rumor season 5.5 is gonna be painful, but in a good way!" was written in the description of the video.
 * The quote was then changed to, "There's a rumor ERB will be back with Season 5.5 videos in late October 2016!", before the release of Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton.
 * After the release of Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton, the quote was changed to, "Check out our NEW Trump vs Clinton T-shirts & Posters at: http://ERBMerch.com".

Production

 * This is the only battle to have just one title card.
 * This is the first battle since Napoleon vs Napoleon to not feature any guests.
 * This is the first time a rapper is portrayed by a prop.

Errors

 * When Jobs says the line, "I need to bring up some basic shit," the line reads, "I need a bring up some basic shit."
 * In the sequence where Gates slaps Jobs with the iPhone, Gates reaches through the iPad, yet when it cuts to Jobs, the hand coming out does not have Gates' sleeve.
 * When Gates says the line, "Now there's no one to stop me!" the line reads, "Now there's no one can stop me!"