George Washington vs William Wallace



George Washington vs William Wallace is the 44th installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the eleventh and penultimate episode of Season 3. It features the 1st President of the United States, George Washington, rapping against Scottish revolutionist, William Wallace. It was released on June 30th.

Cast
Nice Peter as George Washington

EpicLLOYD as William Wallace

??? as Campbell

Jack Zullo, Mike Elder and Jeff MacKinnon as Americans

Reynaldo Garnica, Seth Brown and Joey Greer as Scotsmen

George Washington:
There's a difference between you and me, Willy!

I fought 'till I was actually Free, Willy!

I got my face on a quarter.

You got drawn and quartered.

Tortured on the orders of a king, really?

How'd you get beat by a dude named Longshanks?

You hot dogged and he cut off your bean franks!

I'm money like a national bank.

Ain't nobody more sweet to beat ya.

Stone face with a grill of sheep teeth!

A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy!

I got a state and a day and a D.C.

Stroke, roll up in a boat,

Stroke, sleepin' cut your throat,

Stroke, I'll watch the blood flow, now who's got that Redcoat?

William Wallace:
Look at you in your little blousy outfit!

Looking like a stiffer white dick than your monument!

I'll knock you the fuck out, mate, you died owning slaves, I died setting men free (Scot free!)

That's the highland way, this powdered prick couldn't beat me in a foot race!

I was emasculated, eviscerated, I had my head chopped off and they put it on a pike!

But I still find time to bust a Gaelic rhyme!

I'll rip your Yankee Doodle arse on the mic!

I'll knock your face off your moola, alba gu bràth (hoora! hoora! hoora!)

Founding Father but no children,

Crossed the Delaware but your soldiers can't swim!

That's Washington, such a shite tactician.

The fucking British Army didn't even want in.

I'm Wallace! I'm flawless!

Stay hid in your office or suffer great losses!

I post my kilt, strap my sword on my hilt, step on the battlefield and I'm ready to kill!

Send all your politicians straight down to hell!

The only Washington I trust is Denzel!

George Washington:
Is that the best you got for me?!

I'll chop down an MC like a cherry tree!

See, power! That's what the meaning of my flag is!

Your nation's famous for golf and haggis!

I'm fabulous from my head to my shoebuckle!

Step to me, and catch a knee to the mooseknuckle!

Here's a needle widow trial! (Listen!)

I'm dressed like a pimp, best moves in at the mount!

MacGyver, McLevy, McSchool you all!

I'll trap more Scots out than Hadrian's Wall!

William Wallace:
I don't give a shite about your fancy clothes!

You ripped all those and enslaved black folks.

Grew weed and you made hemp rope

But if ya think you'll beat me, ya must be having a smoke!

No joke! Don't tee off with me, laddie!

Even if you held my balls, you couldn't be my caddy!

My style's ice cold, yours is old and shabby.

You're the Father of Your Country, but I'm your daddy!

George Washington:
I can't tell a lie, you're about to be,

Chopped down like a skirt-wearing cherry tree!

Trivia

 * This is the sixth holiday battle, along with Genghis Khan vs Easter Bunny, Christopher Columbus vs Captain Kirk, Moses vs Santa Claus, Adam vs Eve and Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge.