User blog:Drakan95/Barney Stinson vs Johnny Bravo. Epic Rap Battles: Cartoons vs History.

'Warning: The following battle will give ladies orgasm. So keep your panties tight!!!'

Before this, I want you to take a look, read, comment and vote on Wonder's new battle, cause it's so awesome and I love it so much, and you should stay tuned to more of his work!!!

But anyways, Mid-Season finale is here, yeeee! I'm finally back after some tone of shit, yeee! And Season 1.0 is over. ;-; However, this season shall continue, cause I'll release some news, when I'll have time, that will explain more about it. Also, I would love to say this: thank you so much for the kind comments and for the support, I really never knew if I would be accepted back after my absence, but now I'm here, a better man (hope that a better thinker, speaker and lover too ;-;).

Before we start, I want to say HUGE thanks for BreZ for helping me 50% with this battle and for GIR who helped us with some lines! You can find their awesome series below. I would love to say thanks for Leandro who came up with the cover art, title cards and endslate and for Noah who made the beat for this battle (gigantic thanks, my fellow Beast-ly buddy). Thank you all so much! <3 <3 <3

The protagonist from the animated television series with the same name, Johnny Bravo, and How I Met Your Mother character, Barney Stinson, fight against each other to see who's the better womanizer. But are they alone in this sexy bout?

Barney Stinson Background: In his apartment

Johnny Bravo Background: In front of his house

Beat: Stinson vs Bravo

Battle




BEGIN!

Barney Stinson
(starts at 0:22) May not be someone’s daughter but I’ll still show you all the corners

This hated, shameless, fake and no Vegas Elvis is facin' a slaughter

From that hairdo I can gather that you could never fathom

What it's like to be handsome and to have a sense of fashion

I always shine bright so I suggest you keep on those sunglasses

You shouldn’t have skipped leg-day; Just look at yourself, you’re classless

Hook up with ladies when I'm eighty-three; Champion of the three-way

Like pyrokinetics I bring flaky heat; Now leave the rap freeway

Johnny Bravo
(0:46) WOAAAH MAMA! This moose in a suit got me pissed

So pass the drink Pops, a legendary twerp will be dissed

I'll take your Robin to my BatCave, give her far more enjoyment!

While she looks like the kind of girl who could use two boyfriends!

But enough about her! ''Let’s talk about me! Johnny Bravo! (Hoo ha hooah!)''

The one-man army, which my rhymes and semen you’ll swallow

I’m better at digging crazy chicks than this prick, man I'm pretty!

Let’s celebrate my win, people! C’mon, Boo this Monkey with me!

Steve Stifler
(Background changes to a house during a party and the rapper starts at 1:05)



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<p class="MsoNormal">So this fuckface wants to throw a party for achieving nothing

<p class="MsoNormal">Why don’t you let the Stifmester teach you about real loving

<p class="MsoNormal">To a huge jackass full of steroids, and with a dick of an inch

<p class="MsoNormal">Who's not even a challenge for me, you’re even dumber than Finch

<p class="MsoNormal">And I’ll take easy this pink dinosaur who brags only about class

<p class="MsoNormal">Here’s an idea! I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass

<p class="MsoNormal">Bitches don’t want to blow your whistles, cause your missiles are so little

<p class="MsoNormal">And I can tell you, dude, your verse is just you spitting your initials

<p class="MsoNormal">Girls don’t have the patience to wait for you to seduce them

<p class="MsoNormal">So why don’t you two guys grab your balls and fuckin’ use them

<p class="MsoNormal">Since the pussy of a lady is something you idiots can’t hit

<p class="MsoNormal">Now I’ll retreat! Ladies, I’m done with this funky shit!

Gaston
(Background changes to a tavern and the rapper starts at 1:35)

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<p class="MsoNormal">It’s time for a woman Hunter to join this sexy bout!

<p class="MsoNormal">To show these rotten LeGumes what he’s all about

<p class="MsoNormal">I've got charms sweeter than Barney, Steven isn't brawny

<p class="MsoNormal">My guns are so big, it would even make Johnny look scrawny

<p class="MsoNormal">Just leave Stinson, it’s not the first time you run from a fight-scene

<p class="MsoNormal">Who deserves victory? Me! A bigger sex machine than Charlie Sheen

<p class="MsoNormal">All know that when I ask "Is Gaston the best?" "No" is not an answer

<p class="MsoNormal">Your apartment isn't impressive, you don't even have antlers

<p class="MsoNormal">Nobody leads a Mob Song or has sense of fashion (like Gaston!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Nobody fires shots or is a one man bastion (like Gaston!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Nobody rocks his looks or has a mindset aware (like Gaston!)

<p class="MsoNormal">Nobody mocks play-books or got biceps to spare (like Gaston!)

Casanova
(Background changes to a stage with red curtains, the beat starts at 2:06, but the rapper starts at 2:14)

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<p class="MsoNormal">I can say vixi as I’m fixing the vixens with all the fixin’s

<p class="MsoNormal">Even with all the bitches, I’ve never heard this much bitchin’

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve hooked up all the fishes. So my advice is: stop fishin’

<p class="MsoNormal">You think a real life womanizer can be trumped by fiction?

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll make the magician disappear, I’m in the best position

<p class="MsoNormal">For this player’s game, you blue balls just ain’t any competition

<p class="MsoNormal">Stinson must be back to his sandwiches and hippy trippin

<p class="MsoNormal">No one falls like Gaston, besides all other Disney Villains

<p class="MsoNormal">Throw yourself at frisky women, but you’re still send back like Boomerangs

<p class="MsoNormal">The grillin’ lines that I smite onto you bite like Beastly fangs

<p class="MsoNormal">Steve’s friends be wishin’ to be me cause I got a Tall Oak, yeah, my log’s thick

<p class="MsoNormal">So this grand-motherfucker can swallow my lines like sperm and dog shit

<p class="MsoNormal">You guys have as many big bangs as The Big Bang Theory’s Howard

<p class="MsoNormal">Gaston can’t get a rose deflowered and Barney’s but a coward

<p class="MsoNormal">If he thinks he’ll win, then this Penguin is the genuine Joker

<p class="MsoNormal">The party’s over, you momma boys are nothing but Casanova posers

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

EPIC RAP BATTLES: CART-

(The logo gets kissed by a pink CvH logo.)

-OOOOOH YEAAAH!!!

-OONS VS HISTORY !!!

Poll
Who won? Barney Stinson Johnny Bravo Steve Stifler Gaston Casanova