Rasputin vs Stalin



Rasputin vs Stalin is the thirty-third installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the eighteenth and final episode of Season 2. It features Rasputin, Joseph Stalin, Vladimir Lenin, Mikhail Gorbachev, and Vladimir Putin in a Russian battle royale. It was released on April 22th, 2013.

Cast
Nice Peter as Rasputin, Vladimir Lenin, and Vladimir Putin

EpicLLOYD as Joseph Stalin and Mikhail Gorbachev

PewDiePie as Mikhail Baryshnikov (cameo)

Rasputin:
Cool mustache, Wario.

Try messing with the Mad Monk, you'll be sorry, yo!

How many dictators does it take,

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?

It's a disgrace what you did to your own people!

Your daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil!

You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia.

And history books unfold ya,

As a messed up mutha fucka bent in the mind,

Who built a superpower, but he paid the price,

With the endless destruction of Russian lives!

If you're the man of steel, I spit kryptonite!

Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize!

I can end you with a whisper to your wife.

Stalin:
Look into my eyes, you perverted witch!

See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch!

You think I give a fuck about my wife?

My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life!

You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!

I'd leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot!

Your whole family, shot! All your wizard friends, shot!

Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot!

Starve you for days til' you waste away.

I even crush motherfuckers when I'm laid in state.

Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture.

Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch slapped Hitler!

Lenin:
I have no pride for you who ruined everything,

My revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie!

I fought the bondage of classes. The proletariat masses,

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!

Let me start with you there, Frankenstein,

Looking like something out of R.L. Stine!

It's hip-hop chowder, red over white,

Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight!

And Joseph, you were supposed to be my right-hand man,

But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man!

Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark,

And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!

Gorbachev:
Knock knock knock knock.

Did somebody say birthmarks?

Yo I'm the host with the most Glasnost!

Assholes made a mess and the war got cold.

Shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonald's, no doubt.

If your name end with "in", time to get out!

I had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!

Torn down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah!

You two need yoga (Дa). You need a shower (Дa).

And you all need to learn how to handle real power!

Putin:
Did somebody say real power?

Дa, you want to mess with me?

I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beats.

Blow it up like a tuba, while I'm balling in Cuba.

Doing judo moves and schooling every Communist сука!

I'm a president in my prime. My enemies don't distract me.

The last man who attacked me lived a half-life so comrade, come at me!

You don't know what you're doing when you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin.

You'll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!

General

 * This has the longest run time of any other ERB, however, the battle itself is shorter than Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney.
 * Like Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare, Moses vs Santa Claus, and Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge, this battle featured 5 rappers.
 * This battle, however, is the only battle where each of the 5 rappers only had one verse each.
 * The reason behind this battle was to redeem Peter from Vladimir Putin's "quote" saying he'd kill Peter with his bare hands if Season 2 did not feature a Russian rapper.
 * This is the third battle to have a third (as well as fourth and fifth, for that matter) person to enter the battle and not be on another rapper's side.
 * This is the second battle where each rapper has one verse.
 * Coincidentally, the first battle is the season 2 premiere, while this one is the finale.
 * This is the second battle where the announcer didn't say "Who won? Who's next? You decide!" at the end. The first was Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD.
 * Both of them being finales is probably why.
 * Though, the announcer can still be heard singing "Epic Rap Battles" at the end.
 * This is the second battle where 2 contestants share the same name, with Vladimir Lenin and Vladimir Putin, as well as Mikhail Gorbachev and Mikhail Baryshnikov. The first one is Napoleon vs Napoleon.
 * This battle's release date coincides with Vladimir Lenin's 142nd birthday.

Production

 * This is the first rap battle to feature more than one instrumental (3).
 * The first two were produced by the same producer (the unbeatables).
 * This is the first and only battle where an actor raps against themselves as a different character.
 * This is the fourth battle where an actor plays more than one rapper.

Errors

 * Right after Lenin's verse, at 01:43, an error occurs with Stalin's animation.