User blog:Bobdave/Bob and Loyg's Too Swaggy To Handle Rap Battles of Too Swaggy To Handlery. Crazy Frog vs Gummibär

Here is a picture of a penis

Announcer:
LOB AND BOYG'S DISGUSTING RAPS! (THEY'RE SWAGGY!)

CRAZY FROG!

VERSUS!

GUMMIBÄR!

ON YOUR MARKS...

GET SET...

GOLD!

HA, TRICKED YOU!

OKAY, FOR REAL THIS TIME!

READY...

SET...

GO GO TOMAGO!

YOU FLINCHED!

I'M SUCH A DICK!

OKAY, BEGIN!

Crazy Frog:
Suck my BING BADING DING DING DING DING DING!

Spin my CLI CLI CLI CLI CLI CLIT RING RING BA BA

Make me JI JI JI JI JI JI JIZZ BADING DING BAAAAAAA

I'm gonna WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

Crazy Frog reaches climax

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Gummibär:
Oh, I'm a gummy bear, suck on my yummy pair!

Oh, I'm a honey-spunking, mutton-rubbing cunny slayer!

Crazy Frog:
Make me lick your balls! I'd love to see you try!

Meanwhile, I'll be busy watching you get 'pied!

Gummibär:
Your ringtone is garbage and your willy is tiny!

So I'll take your creator and then filly his hiney!

Crazy Frog:
Your face is even worse than the droppings of a bison!

It appears that you've been attacked by Mike Tyson!

Gummibär:
I'll spin you like you're on an Axel!

F! I am choking on an apple! Gummibär falls to the floor choking

Gummibär's spirit comes forth

Gummibär's Spirit:
I am dead now, just like your, well, everything!

How did you get a video game? That's a-

Crazy Frog:
BING BING BING BING BING BING BINGBINGBIGNGBGB)PGREOHBRUJHGRIGWEIG

Crazy Frog malfunctions

The Crazy Frog Bros. come forth and take his place

The short one:
You dare insult the Crazy Frog? I'll rip your tasties off!

I take pictures while hiding in the vent of the ladies' bog!

The taller one:
You wanna tangle with the mangled dangled wangle strangler?

I'll spangle you at an angle cuz I'm a bangle wearing man-hole wrangler!

The medium height one who held the camera:
I'm the one whose height is average, just like my rappy things

When I cannot keep my diaper up, I use a nappy ring!

Crazy Frog:
Somebody fixed me up amidst the lines of your verse, yo!

So I'm back to stick my fist in the confines of your pursed hole!

Gummibär's spirit flies back into his body, bringing him back to life

Gummibär:
When I run over your scooter with my pimp-ass car

I'll make you straight up fuck each other until you're mentally scarred!

'The footage cuts off, leaving some of the battle lost forever. The battle resumes shortly after the silence'

Hampton the Hamster:
-so dee ba diddy do on my nuts!

Now, before you are defeated by these gangster hamsters

I'll let you court your beloved one last time, go and give her a ham stir!

Alright everybody, and here we go!

I'm about to start perving on your gropy pole!

Just whomp your meat and fap your glands

Come on everybody! It'll slam the pants!

I'll ride in on my airboard with my gangsta crew

And we'll dance at you like you're a kangaroo!

Whoa, Nelly!

Nelly:
Hold on to your hats!

Hampton the Hamster:
And pull down your pants

Hampton and Nelly:
For the Hamster Dance!

A character from the Goldeneye video game steps forward

The character begins spazzing out

Goldeneye Character:
Geddan! And suck my spasming nutsack!

You guys all smut lack so I'm gonna buttwhack!

Caramelldansen:
Not so fast, character from GoldenEye!

Uh, yup!

Everybody join in with the Caramelldansen!

You're being chased by a policeman? Get in my car and I'll pants him!

And then I'll choke you all with the pants!

And then get frisky with my hands!

You'd better meet my sexual demands!

Whose butt will I sniff?

Everybody:
Whose?!

Caramelldansen:
The man's!

The other two girls from Caramelldansen:
Uh, there are three of us, you know... Please don't exclude us

Just because we've been away making penises exude pus

Leekspin:
Shut up already! It's Leekspin! Put on your trunks! In my leak: swim!

What is that horrible smell? It reeks! Quim!

In your butt, I reach! In your eyes, I throw Bleach!

And by Bleach, I mean pee! What a fun day at the beach!

Psy:
I-

Leekspin:
No.

Psy:
But I-

Leekspin:
No.

Psy:
Well, it's just tha-

Leekspin:
Uh-uh.

Ylvis:
Hey, what's-

Psy:
No.

Rebecca Black:
I think it's time we-

Oh

No one interrupted

Okay

Let's do this shit

Yesterday I masturbated in a bucket

Today I kick your nuggets!

Tomorrow I will reminisce on the nugget-kicking

And Sunday comes afterwards!

Which seat can I taaaaaake?

I'll sit on your faaaaaace!

Rick Astley:
The fox says "Ylvis is a terrible band with a poopy song!"

Fox:
That's right!

Rick Astley:
Rick's gonna roll his balls all over each of your faces tonight!

Fox:
And I'll watch! In fact, I'll video it! And make a backup, just in case!

Rick Astley:
What a pal! Being prepared in case the video gets erased!

A black man and his Asian children walk in on the rap battle

Man:
What song is this?

Darude fucking appears, bitch

Darude:
DARUDE - SANDSTORM!

Rick Astley:
Actually I think Hollywood Legends made this bea-

Darude:
DARUDE - SANDSTORM

Darude armpit farts the tune to his song

NB: Jude actually tried this after reading the line

Darude's antics intensify greatly

Darude:
Oh, yes... YES!

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Now to rap!

Darude lets out an armpit fart

The armpit fart raps for Darude

Darude's Armpit Fart:
You should have known better than to attract Darude!

These guys are really mean, right?

A Russian man:
Да, rude.

Nice Peter and a hologram of EpicLLOYD:
What's this twisted version of our famed rap thingies?

''I kinda like it! This Bobdave guy could be the next Biggie!''

By the way, Lloyd, why exactly are you a hologram?

''That's a damn good question that I can't answer, fam!

But I can spit a rap against that guy we just praised!''

You mean Jude? ''No, were you even listening? Bobdave?''

I actually wasn't listening! What was I even saying?

I don't care, I only took you on the train here cause you were paying

''Wow, dude. Why have you suddenly turned into a dick?

I thought we were friends?''

'Peter suddenly gets a phone call from Mike Betette. He answers'

Hello?

Mike Betette:
I licked a brick! Ick!

Peter hangs up

He then switches off the hologram

As the hologram fades out, Lloyd makes some gargling sounds

A cliché Western villain appears and ties everybody to the railroad

Cliché Western Villain:
Ahahaha! Hahahahaha!

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Mwuahahaha! Hee hee hee hee hee!

Hee hee hee hee! Teehee hee hee! Hee hee hee hee hee!

Got ya!

???:
Did somebody say...

Gotye:
...Gotye?

Buy my album, even though you only know one song!

Fangirl:
Gotye!!!!!!!

Gotye:
If you don't, I'll come over there and spread your ass like Goatse!

When you watch my music video, you'll wonder if you're sober!

Gotye's hungy for butt morsels, so Gotye will make you bend over!

Michael Jordan, Superman, and Harry Potter fall from the sky

Michael Jordan:
Yo, it's us again!

Superman:
Back from the last one!

To catch that cliché Western villain!

Harry Potter:
And harshly bruise his left bun!

Michael Jordan:
You chaps are all inferior, especially at basketball!

I killed a man once, dropped him off a roof, and watched his casket fall!

Then the police found out! I was put in jail!

But it turned out fine in the end because Superman had money for bail!

Superman:
Yeah, about that, I kinda robbed a bank for that money...

But I'm Superman, I'll literally never be caught! How funny!

Are you entranced by my pecks? The ones I used to fondle Lex?

I bet you're wondering what the "S" on ym shirt stands for! It's sex...

Lex Luthor, covered in a liquid of some sort:
...tant!

Harry Potter:
My seven novels were good! My eight motion pictures were good!

I also had a number of video games! Unlike Crazy Frog's, they were good!

I never knew my mother, but I know her name was Lily, not Lotus!

My verse was Stupefying! I'm gonna cum! Scrotus Unloadus!

Gotye:
As we speak, I am in the process of becoming a eunuch!

Announcer:
THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

HOMOCIDE!

BOB AND LOYG'S TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLE RAP BATTLES OF TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLERY!

Man in the street:
Please leave me alone Go Compare these rappers and tell us Who Won! Crazy Frog and the Crazy Frog Bros. Gummibär The cut off footage that deleted the following raps Nyan Cat Badgers Keyboard Cat Peanut Butter Jelly Time The end of the limits of the cut off footage Hampton the Hamster and Nelly Geddan Caramelldansen Leekspin Psy Ylvis Rebecca Black Rick Astley and the Fox A black man and his Asian children Darude, his armpit fart and a Russian man Nice Peter, a hologram of EpicLLOYD and Mike Betette A Cliché Western Villain Gotye Michael Jordan, Superman and Harry Potter