User blog:BackToTheFuturama86/ERBoBTTF Number Whatever: Fidel Castro vs Julius Caesar

Well, Gilligan vs Captain Jack has been put on hold. I may finish it later, maybe. Maybe. But I have lines for this one, so I'll try it.

Here goes!

Cast
Zach Sherwin as Julius Caesar

EpicLLOYD as Fidel Castro

Nice Peter as John F. Kennedy (cameo)

Dante Cimadamore as Che Guevara and Cassius Brutus (cameo)

Lyrics
EPICRAPBATTLESOFISTORY!

FIDEL CASTRO!

VS!

JULIUS CAESAR!

BEGIN!

Castro:
Look who it is, Gaius Julius, the fucking Roman mess

Stomping around Italy in sandals and a dress

But seriously, Caesar, it's a pleasure just to beat ya

I'll toss you like a salad and then serve you like a pizza

You think you're so hot because you won your election

But I'll cut you open, call it a Caesarian Section

Like Marcus Brutus did, I'll leave this ruthless bitch slaughtered

But Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, saw, and conquered

Caesar:
Et tu, you fat ugly brute?

I'll leave Castro in a casket and give him the boot

You're as stupid as a Bay of Pigs, so I'll have to put it bluntly:

While you're kissing up to Kennedy, I'm dictating a country

Everybody knows that all roads lead to Rome

So pick one, take your man-whore Che and go the fuck home

It's true I was betrayed, attacked, deposed, assassinated

If you had a pair, I'd cut them off. Prepare to be Castr-ated

Castro:
Hey Julius, guess what? I don't give a fuck

Call today the Ides of March, because you're running out of luck

I'll nuke you from Havana, call it a Cuban Missile Crisis

Get back to your city-state, I'm getting high like Dionysus

Caesar:
Read up on your facts, Diyonysus was Greek

Besides, who gave this fucking Guerilla permission to speak?

The sate of your country's like your rapping: it's appaling

But I guess it's not surprising from the 1960s Stalin

Castro:
Ask my good buddy Nikita, I'm going to Khrush you

But when in Cuba, this Roman bastard do as I do

My raps are smoking, like my cigar, plus I get all the ladies

So tonight, I'm gonna party like it's 19 AD

Caesar:
Greetings to all friends, Romans, countrymen

What's a Cuban bitch against an army of twenty men?

I had a play written about my life, what've you done?

'Cause if your contry's so great, then why does everybody run?

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPICRAPBATTLESOFOUTROMUSIC!

Who won? Fidel Castro Julius Caesar