User blog:TheScottBird/Marshall Mathers vs Slim Shady

So, if you read my last joke battle, then you probably think this one will be total sh*t too. Well, it isn't. I'm actually trying to make this one good, if it is any good at all. I know ERBP already made this battle, but this is my take on it.

Cast

 * Bart Baker as Marshall Mathers


 * George Watsky as Slim Shady


 * Mary Gutfleisch as Kim Scott (cameo)


 * Nice Peter as Ken Kaniff (cameo)

Slim Shady
I'm the whole reason Eminem even became a sensation

So there's no fucking reason that this Asshole should be hatin'

Don't worry little soldier, I'll dry up your teardrops

Yeah, those ones that you produce after your career flops

When I'm Gone, the world will forget who Marshall is

You're the one who created me, you're the one who started this

Rap God? Ha, more like rap fraud

If it wasn't for Dre, you'd be nothing at all

You thought you could release an album as a kid and make it Infinite?

Looks like you had to Relapse and Recover, and face the front of it

Remember your first mainstream album? Yeah, my name was in the title

You only rap so good because Slim Shady's your idol

Marshall Mathers
Man, you make me wanna Puke, so Fack you too

I don't bring up Relapse and Recovery, I was going through a hard time dude

Don't call me a coward just 'cause you're a homicidal cannibal

Fucking my wife in the pussy and then guttin' her like Hannibal

I might just have to seal you away forever to protect my daughter

Or maybe we could throw down in a hand-to-hand slaughter

Either way, you're the Bad Guy, you killed my number-one fan

There's no Rhyme or Reason as to why you're good or bad

Yeah, man, you're shit 'cause I created you on the toilet

I just put you on the tracks when I need to release some anger that's boilin'

You sound like Eric Cartman, the way you whine and complain like a bitch

Fuck you, Shady, I'd rather make a collaboration with Ken Kaniff

Slim Shady
I'm Cleanin' Out My Closet and I'm burning all the trash

And what's in that trash? You, your mom, your brother, daughter, and dad

A whole family of trailer trash, and don't you try to deny it

Marshall Mathers the rapper is dead and now I'm in this booth cryin'

It's true you brought life to me and that's why I respect you

But you made me fucking crazy, Marsh, why couldn't you make me Mellow?

Now I got No Love for this wannabe bitch 'cause Without Me

You'd never have a motherfucking multi-platinum-selling CD

Marshall Mathers
Don't fuck with me Slim, or I'll fucking Kill You again

It's true I made you a crackhead, but your arguments I will not defend

You're a perverted, dumb blonde facade of a persona

I'm writing disses and chomping down on haters like a piranha!

It's just the Way I Am, Shady, I'm sorry if you think bad of me

But I'm also crying in this booth 'cause you're telling me my son hates me?

I created you with no rubber and I didn't cum in no one, no shame

But the only reason I'm still stronger today is because we are the same...bitch!

Who won? Marshall Mathers Slim Shady

Who's next? Dr. Dre & Eminem vs Dr. Dre & Frankenstein Finn & Jake vs Mordecai & Rigby The Griffins vs The Simpsons Seth MacFarlane vs Jim Henson Sonic.exe vs Freddy Fazbear Obama vs Fuck Her Right in the Pussy Fred