User blog:Captain Warrior/Legendary Rap Battles 25 (Season 3): Bear Grylls vs Steve Irwin

Happy New Year, folks. In order to celebrate, here's the first installment of Season 3 for my rap battles. Enjoy! :)

Cast
Nice Peter as Bear Grylls

EpicLLOYD as Steve Irwin

Lyrics
The announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

BEAR GRYLLS!

VS!

STEVE IRWIN!

BEGIN!

Bear Grylls:

Facing Up against me is like getting killed by a sting-ray.

I go Wild on the mic, and I also spit it sick, mate.

I'm one True Grit man, who isn't scared to fight.

I got a black belt in karate, chopping you out of my sight.

You didn't have a life, too busy jerking off to animals.

You're an Ash Ketchum wannabe, who was always trying to catch them all.

My father taught me many things, but I taught myself how to flow.

You winning this battle would be the Worst-Case Scenario.

Steve Irwin:

Crikey! You're battling me? You must be drinking your own piss.

The Crocodile Hunter will tell you why you shouldn't muck with this.

I can catch crocodiles, with my own Bear hands.

Now I'll fire up this Gryll, that I can't even stand.

Your sister called you Bear, 'cause you're a maniac.

I'm parachuting out disses, that will break your back.

I was in Happy Feet, but I'm giving you an angry beat.

Have my shit to eat, since you consume everything you see.

Bear Grylls:

This filthy animal can't escape through my manly power.

I'll make a new TV show, and call it Man vs Coward.

Your bloody verse is full of Mud, Sweat, and Tears.

I climbed Mount Everest as a kid, without being in fear.

You could use some deodorant, 'cause you Sure do stink.

You almost got your son killed; do you even think?

I'm a Born Survivor, and I got an Eye of a Tiger.

Get in your Steve Irwin ship, and sail back home, you cipher.

Steve Irwin:


 * laughs* I'm dying, by laughing out loud at your crappy raps.

I'm a wildlife expert who taught many birds and chaps.

I'll choke you like you're Cameron Diaz on the Graham Norton show.

I had excitement and acknowledgement, which was how I roll.

We don't see you in a suit often, 'cause you're not fancy.

You're just a boy scout, who is never classy.

I Ir-won this battle, you didn't even come within a whisker.

This rap is over like your shows, but this ended quicker.

The announcer:

WHO WON!

WHO'S NEXT!

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Who won? Bear Grylls Steve Irwin