Blackbeard vs Al Capone



Blackbeard vs Al Capone is the thirty-fifth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and is the second episode of Season 3. It featured the ruthless pirate, Blackbeard, rapping against the prohibition era mobster, Al Capone. It was released on October 21st, 2013.

Cast
Nice Peter as Blackbeard

EpicLLOYD as Al Capone

Xin Wuku as Edward Kenway (cameo)

Bryce Wissel, Shaun Lewin and Donnie Davis as Pirates (cameos)

Shaun Lewin, Yev Belilovsky, and Dante Cimadamore as Mobsters (cameos)

Blackbeard:
I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger.

Walk under the black flag with the scallywag swagger!

Ain't no parrot on my shoulder and no rings in my ear.

I'm an irate pirate, real swashbuckling buccaneer!

Beef with me? Please, I'm the high seas Caesar.

My cold heart is many degrees beneath the deep freezer!

You're an obese, greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter,

That no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers!

Don't start a war with me, you're not hardcore.

I'll pimp-slap those face scars of yours, port and starboard!

You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine,

If you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes!

Al Capone:
I'm a busy man, Captain Crunch, I'll make this quick.

I'm ruining pirates faster than Johnny Depp did!

I had syphilis, yeah, well you're a huge dick!

With a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pricks!

I run an intricate criminal syndicate so show respect.

Or get that tongue ripped out your neck and shoved straight up your poop deck!

Been slapping bitch ass Teaches back since I was 14.

You ain't a tough guy, my kids dress up like you for Halloween!

I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies.

Then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money!

Then maybe they'll find your bloated body dead and washed up on the beach.

This is Capone rapping and I'm capping this Captain, capisce?

Blackbeard:
The Valentine's Massacre brought you condemnation.

But i'm gonna sink you faster than your income tax evasion.

When I toss you overboard like a mob abomination.

So prepare to learn the Davy Jones' locker combination!

Forty cannon on the Queen Anne, your gang can't stop it!

I'll pilfer all your rum and sell it back at a profit.

Cause I'm a criminal legend with a bad ass name!

You're a fat thug with an STD in his brain!

Al Capone:
C'mon, they chopped your head off and they hung it from a rope.

The only legend you left was your prohibition on soap!

I mean that rat nest beard's trapped so many crumbs.

This bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month!

I'm the emcee Assassin, slash like Edward Kenway!

Rap so hard, call me Al...dente.

Take your little sloop, John B, and go home!

Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned!

Scrapped Lyrics
Blackbeard:

Any sausage eatin' mobsters named Al Capone should cross the,

Skull and crossbones, he'll walk the plank to Davy Jones' Locker!

Yar, I went out on an Adventure, but I was in my blimey prime!

See, I'd rather lose me head than lose me friggin' mind!

Al Capone:

From likes of you's, I got nothing to fear.

'Cept maybe the evil beasties you got nestin' in your beard!

C'mere this is my town, I could buy your whole crew.

I got the DJ in my pocket, he stops when I tell him to!

I'm the emcee assassin with pinache like Edward Kenway!

Rhymes so hard you can call me Al Dente!

Go back Charlotte or wherever slum you call home!

Cause this is the Southside, baby, and you just got Capwned!

General

 * EpicLLOYD said on his reddit AMA that Al Capone was one of his favorite characters to play to this date. Peter also mentioned that the he thought Capone's first verse had one of the best flows in ERB history.
 * This is the first Battle to be sponsored by a company. Ubisoft asked Epic Rap Battles of History if they wanted to make a battle with a pirate, thus the ERB team decided to use Blackbeard and used a scene from Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag and featured Edward Kenway as a cameo appearance in the battle.

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