User blog:Segamad66/EPIC RAP BATTLES No.85: David Beckham vs Jasper Carrott

Another day, another battle.

Here we go!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

DAVID BECKHAM

VS

JASPER CARROTT

BEGIN!

Jasper Carrott

The name's Jasper Carrott and I'm here to perform some jokes.

But the one standing infront of me hasn't got the golden balls to be a bloke.

I'm the MC selling original records from the back of my van.

While you're collecting cards, but this ain't match attax, man.

I'm the second person ever to get on the Birmingham walk of stars.

You picked up 12 points like you picked up your kids teacher at the bar.

Spent over 40 years on TV, so I better get back to rehearsals.

Just don't make me breakdown your strange pants commercial.

David Beckham

I'm football legend David Beckham, here to take a bite out of this Carrott.

Take one look at my stat sheet, theres no way you could reach the same merits.

Got a rule named after me. I'm not bending the truth.

Call me golden balls, otherwise I'll be kicking the golden boot.

Played for Man U, PSG, and LA Galaxy. I travelled across the globe.

The sexiest man alive, there's no way you can match my wardrobe.

I'm Cruzing along as I've been captain for England so many times.

Just stick to jokes Jasper, 'cause you can't spit a Robbie Savage rhyme.

Jasper Carrott

I'm coming off the sub bench because it looks like you just scored an own goal.

I'll steal your prized possessions then split your salary with Ashley Cole.

Listen to Obama's speech instead of focusing on your Blackberry.

Even if Vic spices up your life, she better be careful of John Terry.

David Beckham

I co-own Salford City with the rest of the '92 squad.

I'll be best remembered for being the footballing god.

This battle been short and sweet, like my time at A.C. Milan.

You think you're 24 Carrott, Jasper, but you're nothing but canned.

 WHO WON?

WHO's NEXT?

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!!!!

