User blog:BreZ/BZRB 7: Bill Nye VS Sheldon Cooper

So, it's 22nd of September. Today both The Big Bang Theory and BreZ Rab BattleZ return with a big bang. It's Sheldon Cooper against Bill Nye. I would like to thank Joe for suggesting Bill Nye as Sheldon's opponent.

Announcer
BREZ RAP BATTLEZ!

BILL NYE!

VS!

SHELDON COOPER!

BEGIN!

Bill Nye
What are you doing here, you’ve got a restraining order.

You’re about 52 cards short of a deck with all your disorders.

I can leave your life ruined by stating that trains are stupid.

For rap you’re simply ill-suited, my win will be undisputed.

I’ll make you feel less of a genius than when you dressed up,

Your car got stolen, missed comic-con and realized you’re messed up.

I hypothesize that me defeating you is the only end to this experiment.

The difference in our skill is greater than your failure calculating a new element.

You’ll be sad at this battle’s result so go ahead and cry.

You can’t ever beat the science guy, but go ahead and try.

Sheldon Cooper
I will do more than try, I will succeed.

I’ll show you real raps, so take heed.

Call me Spock because I’m going to vaporize your rocks.

The best emcee is at your door with three times, three knocks.

But your rapping is pretty good too (Thank you) Bazinga!

Social convention suggests I should give you the finger.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I make Newton’s rapping and work look like that of a simpleton

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Compared to me you’re as smart as a Homo Erectus or Homer Simpson

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">While I’m a Homo Novus who easily divines Albert Einstein.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’ll rid the world of this virus, you’re welcome, mankind.

Bill Nye
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Your flow is so shitty that I have pity. You only have a soft kitty,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">which is why you can’t do the Big Bang with Amy, right kiddy?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Think you can whip me, you’re the one getting ripped, see?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">My rhymes are leaps and bounds ahead of you, just like Kripke.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">They sting you worse than a bee, counting   your allergies.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You are starting to seem upset to me, I’ll make some hot tea.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Your friendships are you being pushy like it’s a tyranny.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You are clearly crazy and in dire need of some therapy,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">If you truly think you can beat me and guarantee any sort of victory.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Your chances of winning are like the physics you study, merely a theory.

Sheldon Cooper
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">You’re the one who’s crazy if you expected not to get bested

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">From physics to lyrics to everything else I’ve perfected.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Your victory's like your astronaut application, rejected

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Your name may be Nye, but for you victory is neither close nor near.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">It’s pretty clear that I win against one of Howard’s peers, a mere engineer.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">There is one thing even all the kids who watch your PBS show can see:

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Of all paradox universes, there isn’t one in which you’re smarter than me.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">Would you like some aloe vera? Because you just got burned

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left:18.0pt">This battle my spot is first place and now this battle is adjourned.

Announcer
WHO WON!? YOU DECIDE! Bill Nye Sheldon Cooper