User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 4: Beethoven vs Ray Charles

In the eighth re-installment of Awesome Rap Battles, deaf composer Beethoven faces off against blind pianist Ray Charles to see which piano player is the better 4-sensed musician.

Info
Originally released: March 21, 2014

Characters: Beethoven, Ray Charles

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES 2.0!

BEETHOVEN!

VERSUS!

RAY CHARLES!

BEGIN!

Beethoven:

I'm a legend, a real masterpiece composing machine,

With the best damn looks anyone with eyes could see.

Except you, Mr. Charles, I don't mean from Inception,

Disability doesn't mean different, but you're an exception,

I’m not scared of a man with a stick, so stand back,

Don’t try to rap, if you can’t even hit a note for crap,

I'd say your music made me deaf, but I'm very grateful,

I couldn't hear before your music came out, it's so distasteful.

How could you even write this crap, let alone hit the keys?

I'll take your songs, and burn them in the name of Elise.

You binged money off of women? That explains your career,

Your music makes me wish I could Drown in My Own Tears.

Ray Charles:

The Time Is Right for me to come right on up and speak,

About a wrinkly compost pile who's too dirt cheap.

I'll use your work like TP; they're only worth just as much.

It's not that I hate you; I just simply don't give a fuck.

Listen up now, Ludwig, you couldn’t write a masterpiece,

If you spend half of your time dying from a MPD disease,

Syphilis, hepatitis, dammit, man, make up your mind,

I wrote better shit than you, and God dammit, I'm blind!

I wouldn't trust your woolly ass to guide me, so please,

Make like Wolfgang Mozart, and fly off like a bumblebee.

I've made records, entered the books, and all that, jazz,

Take all your symphonies, and shove them right up your ass.

Beethoven:

I don’t wish to be insulted by a poor man, who got stoned,

You're just some vintage old man Stevie Wonder clone.

With blinding rage, cause hippies bombed your chart toppers,

I made plenty of hit songs in my career, I’m proper,

Your jokes are too cornea, and I don't mean to brag,

But at least I don't look like Eddie Murphy in drag.

Ray Charles:

Girls feeling me up like I'm braille, Florida Playboy, baby,

Why should I care for a man who couldn’t score ladies?

I'm a genius; you're a drunkard pansy in a scarf and dreads,

Or it could be your pubes just grew on your head,

Drop the face, or drop a crap, you look constipated, boy

Stop with the angst there, Scrooge, and feel some real joy!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!

Who Won? Beethoven Ray Charles