Talk:Epic Rap Battles of History 27/@comment-5796272-20121206110414

LYRICS!

Santa Claus: Sweet robes, albeit one too many days in the sun, Stop preachin' homie, teach your flock to covet some fun! I bring joy every year, man I represent cheer, You represent sandals and a scraggly beard. I'm from the North Pole, that's why my rhymes are so cold! I spit diamonds but I'm serving up some fresh coal, You've been a naughty boy, you brought a plague of frogs, You'd best arrest yourself, you broke your own law. Or was there something in Rule Six I didn't understand? My list says kill the Egyptian Jew, buried in his sand. I read your book, you got a strict religion, No bacon, but mandatory circumcision? I'm a jolly bowl of jelly, giving holiday presents, But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!

Moses: <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">When I was high up on the mountain God revealed the truths of the Earth, <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">It takes 9 reindeers to haul your fat-ass. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added mo' mass. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">You need to stop breakin into houses and creepin' and peepin', <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">On naughty kids while they' sleepin' and keep yo' hands off my stockin'. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Don't you 'Ho Ho' me! I'll split yo ass in half, like I did the Red Sea. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">You ain't a saint you' a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Stop with the unpaid labor, and let my little people go!

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Elves: <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">We ain't slaves! <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">All that sand turned your brain to mush! <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">I think you need to stop smokin' all that burnin' bush. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Yeah, we're magical workers, man! <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">We hang with reindeers. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Yo! Here's a GPS! <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Who gets lots for forty years!? <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">You're a glorified secretary, so write this down, <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Because this night, <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Santa Claus is comin' to town.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Moses: <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">So much drama in the Isreal BC, <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">It's kinda hard talkin' directly to the G-O-single-D. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Hand me my chisel, I got a new command'izzle, for y'all. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">Thou shalt not let your children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall. <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy, <span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:arial,sans-serif;line-height:18px;">And walk of into the land of my milk and honey.