User blog:El Alamein/George Patton vs. Douglas MacArthur

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

GEORGE PATTON!

VS!

DOUGLAS MACARTHUR!

BEGIN!

Patton: I'm hard-headed Patton, and I'm here to kick ass!

I graduated West Point, grew balls of brass

I rampaged across Europe, showed Monty who's boss,

Made thick Nazi-blood syrup, never suffered a loss,

Unlike you, boy, runnin' away from the Philippines,

If I were you I'd fight back, know what I mean?

Of course you don't! Your military career is diarrhea!

You were fired for being such a dick in Korea!

MacArthur: 'Cuz I was too hardcore to stay in a war!

I got up in Truman's face when I wanted some more!

I pushed him to nuke every Communist puke!

Fakin' them out with each infantry juke!

I said I'd return, and by the grace of God I did!

Your own command has enough trouble keeping you under the lid!

You're a mad dog on a loose chain, but you take orders from Eisenhower!

At least in my theater of war I hold all the power!

 Patton:  You have no power, island-hopping across the Pacific!

That's hardly a sound strategy, you should be more specific!

You're a glory hog, MacArthur, staging invasions for the press,

Striding safely to shore while you puff out your chest!

Good men died before you, so don't take all the credit!

If I were your commander, all this bragging, I wouldn't let it

Get through to the press, you self-absorbed swine!

Your pipe is bigger than all your life's achievements combined!

 MacArthur:  Your military career is tainted by sin,

Slapping up troops, but taking neither Rome nor Berlin!

Charging machine-guns head-on? That's completely insane!

Even Curtis LeMay puts your tactics to shame!

You were the worst general of World War II, I'm gonna leave it at that!

They named a tank after you, just to give our enemies something to shoot at!

I'm running you down with raps, so hop away and drive!

But if you're behind the wheel, good luck staying alive!

'''WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!'''

'''EPIC! (gunshot) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!'''