User blog:Avatar XIII/DCRB 27: Lois Lane vs April O'Neil



Ha! I started earlier than April so I technically lied! Hey guys, starting off season 3 with the battle of reporters. Technically season 3 has been going on for more than a year now, but I'm ignoring Flash vs Sonic 3 :P

As promised, this season will be the season for the ladies. Should be a fun project. Let's get to the action!

Battle


VS



GO!

Battles starts at 0:23

Lois Lane:
Reporting for the Daily Planet, it’s Lois Lane

The murderer, known as Kira, was found to be slain

No evidence suggests foul play, all that could be claimed

Was a small notebook that had written in it his name

April O’Neil:
Reporting for Channel 6 news, it’s April O’Neil

With me on the job no crime will go concealed

While setting up my cameras to capture any trace

I saw a man running away. He didn’t have a face...

Lois Lane:
Um, what are you doing? Go and get your own story!

I was here first. You’re not stealing all the glory!

April O’Neil:
Oh don’t start with me! Save me your sermon

Unless you wanna end up famous for nothing like Vernon!

Lois Lane:
Jesus, you gotta be even stupider than Jimmy

Time to show you why you stepped in the wrong city

When your only friend is a jock who waves around his stick

Then put on that ugly jumpsuit and ditch his ass quick!

I’d say get out the gutter, but there’s no reason to

You’ve mutated so much, even your mother can’t look at you

Mind if I call you princess? It’s not much of a reach,

Since you somehow get kidnapped even more than Peach

April O’Neil:
I knew you wouldn’t really have that much to say

I’m more professional than you in every single way

From emperors to disasters, I cover them all

You just screw up constantly and let Olsen take the fall

You have to be kidding, calling me the damsel in distress

That insult came off just as flat as your chest

What would Clark think? Don’t ruin your claim to fame

I bet he doesn’t know Luthor and Jose drive in your Lane

Lois Lane:
Damn, you went there. You dunno how to stay calm

You going to move away again when this story bombs?

April O’Neil:
No but I will enjoy watching all your stories flop

Just another sleazy writer who slept her way to the top

Lois Lane:
Please, I’ve already overcome all these silly social hurdles

The real question is why you spend so much time with the turtles

April O’Neil:
They’re my friends! Don’t know why you’re trying to add more

I’m pretty sure you’ve seen giant reptiles before

Lois Lane:
Whatever, I have better things to do you lazy- [A yellow streak flashes by]

Did you see that too or am I going crazy?

April O’Neil:
Nope, that flash of light was real! What was that streak?

W h a t e v e r i t i s I h o p e I c a n c a t c h i t, t h a t w a s n e a t !

[Distracted by the new potential headliner, the two reporters ditch their feud and chase the yellow streak]

The Flash:
Darn it, Zoom knew I was coming and made a dash

Too bad no one is fast enough to outrun the Flash!