User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's battles of fiction 1 - Tintin vs Asterix the Gaul

Welcome to a new series created solely by me at the moment. Hopefully we can get some comments going and people will enjoy the work I produce :)

Today's battle is between two of my favourite cartoon characters growing up, the creation of Herge, Tintin and the Gaulish warrior who fought off the Romans, Asterix. So without further ado we should be getting on

CAST

EpicLLOYD as Tintin

Nice Peter as Captain Haddock

Link Neal as Asterix

Rhett McLaughlin as Obelix

Dante Cimadamore as Cacofonix, Getafix and Calculus (cameos)

Shay Carl as Vitalstatistix (cameo)

JOE'S BATTLES OF.....

FICTIOOOOOOOOOOON

ASTERIX THE GAUL!

VS

TINTINNNNNNNNN!

BEGIN

Tintin: There once was a village on the northern tip of Gaul

Which will be the sight for this most epic cartoon brawl

Between a reporter, famous around the world

And a midget French warrior, who refuses to hit a girl

For your verse I'll cover my ears like your Bianca Castafiore

Just one of my books beats all your silly stories

My adventures rock with all the epic plots that I've got

You look like something from a Dr Seuss book

So enter the frey, this battle won't take very long

Guzzling down magic potion like you're the Gaulish Lance Armstrong

Asterix: Ooh a racist reporter thinks he can beat me

The fiercest Gaulish warrior the worlds ever seen

Well watch it,the sky's gonna fall down on your head

Call me the bird brothers, pump your belly full of lead

A face so simple it could have been drawn by a kid

Coming closer to dying than Chang did

Cutting off this battle before it's really begun to start

Leaving as unsatisfactory an ending as Tintin in Alph-Art

Haddock: Step aside Tintin, let me take on this land lubber

Raining shots down from my sea plane,you better find cover

A billion blue blistering barnacles have more intellect than you

Dropping this beat like it's bread in fondue

This is Archibald Haddock, a supreme sober sailor

Hey Tintin, these Gauls are crazy

Looks like we tag teamed and showed this whiny little bitch

You and your fat friend need to calm down, go get a fix

Obelix: Who you calling fat? I'm just well covered

A boy wonder and sea captain always getting into bother

It ain't hard calculus, just add it right up

Two Gaulish warriors batter these Belgian chumps

Does this ring a bell? You weirdos should go straight to the Serkis

Cause Obelix is here with just one purpose

You're just like the Romans, and we will never be vanquished

Finishing this battle now so we can get straight to the banquet

JOES BATTLES OF FICTION!!!!

WHO WON???

WHOS NEXT???

YOU SUGGEST!!!

Who won? Asterix and Obelix Tintin and Haddock