User blog:JMitch25/Minecraft vs. Touhou - Occasional Rap Battles that Exist Midseason's End

Go read the thing done by MattFlats before soaking in this thingy.

Santa Clause is here to end this shit, let's do it boiz.

Anyway, welcome to more of my stupid series. Remember that hint I used for Steven Universe vs. Li’l D? Well, now I use one of those characters in this shizz. That won’t mean I’ll be using Li’l Wayne, though, so don’t hold your breath. Anyway, time for something somewhat original. Steve, the 16-bit blockhead survivor in Minecraft (not 8-bit), draws his diamond sword against Reimu Hakurei, the ball-whacking shrine maiden from the Touhou franchise, in a battle between PC gaming legends that are pretty well-known across the internet. Like, absurdly well-known. Seriously, I hear Touhou content is as escapable as Fort Knox as it’s everywhere you so happen to look. Originally, it was going to be Touhou vs. FNaF, but I didn’t wish to bother given my lack of FNaF knowledge (though it was originally set to be Freddy, then Afton, and finally Cawthon), so I did this instead. Kek. It may fall apart near the end. Or not. Idfk. Oh, and point to GIR for guessing one of the things used here right as well as Quagga for guessing two of the things right.

Cast
CaptainSparklez as Steve (audio)

Grace Helbig as Reimu Hakurei (audio)

JT Machinima as Herobrine (audio)

Lauren Flans as Flandre Scarlet (audio)

Ruggles Outbound as Notch

Mike Diva as ZUN

Animation for the first two Minecraft reps done by CaptainSparklez

MMD pros or Lowbrow Studios animating the first two Touhou reps

The fight thingy
Occasional Rap Battles that Exist! vs... Let's go!

Steve

Time to Mystic Square off with a slow-flowing little chick

MC's MC about to show why her series is the arm-pits

Now I don't wish to start Fairy Wars, in fact, I'd rather we be Peaceful,

But with all this yin-yang going on, I'm about to give this meme upheaval!

Known for a small hitbox, but you won’t graze past my blows

This Walfa's got less HP than a chicken while my wit's sharper than arrows

Insults blowing up in your face like Creepers, and here's a Tale I’ll Tell

The End for you would be where you wind up trapped in my bullet hell

Reimu Hakurei

Take it easy there, Steve! Don't be so pushy like your Pistons

I've had the balls to take on folks like you ever since my creation

You'll turn purple like my past hair if you think you'll match my craft

My gold raps hit harder than the Gold Rush that you have

The Sky's the limit for you while this shrine maiden's more fly

You're just fighting for your Survival while I save mankind from yōkai!

It's Impossible to counter my Spell Cards; you've already been skinned

Double Spoiler: Steve hit the ground too hard and went like a 16-bitch

*Steve suddenly gets grieved as behind him is him but with milky white eyes who kills Steve with his obsidian sword alongside Reimu, revealing himself to be... HEROBRINE! Above is a vampire with wire-hung diamonds for wings. She descends and is revealed to be... FLANDRE SCARLET! Proceed!*

Herobrine

So you make it this far. Prepare to be left aGhast in this fight

Scarlet Weather Rhapsody won't kill my Imperishable Night

I see you live in the basement, so it won't be new to descend

As my Hardcore Blaze Shoots down all the Bullets you send!

My sea pyramids tower over your Mountain of Faith

I've Double Dealt pain to players before, so it's best if you were aStray!

Ended with no second thought; this Husk is left Withering to naught

So come down and bite me, vampy; you’d be lucky to be saved by God...

Flandre Scarlet

I face this Urban Legend stuck in Limbo claiming to be dope,

But Dr. Flan-Dre comes packed with beats and sickness to make you choke

This Boogeyman hardly scares me; even these days, he's a joke

Given that he can't properly face me teleporting everywhere he goes

And they said Cirno was the airhead, but your brain's just Zombie Meat

I'm a Sister of the Devil, you're a mere hoax behind the screen

404 this 303; on creepypasta I now feast!

Consider this blockhead removed; trying to fight me? Good grief

*we zoom out from two computer screens showing separate areas with our two final rappers: Notch and ZUN! Finish it!*

Notch

Time we kicked it up a Notch! Persson's piercin' your rhymes hard

I'm taking down a pedophile who’s win ain't even in his cards

Go Tai-toe-to-toe with me and I'll cut you deeper than Bujingai

This Doll lacks in Shanghai Malice and Pseudo-Para-dice

While I'm a server for all, loading with loads through the net

I'll wash up the Graffiti Kingdom; you’re no Banksy, just a mess

Stay in your Ghostly Field Club since Jun'ya ain't Kannushit

I've made Bethesda Quake; this one-man "artist" is no challenge

ZUN

Pedophile jokes? You got the children playing in your Nether

No calling the shots, I work alone in the Story of Mojang's Ender

Yes, I'm Breaking you Tower; outshining the Sparklez you pack

Since you've been Dragon on your rhymes, Man; it’s completion you lack

Believe in my Torte La Magic; it's Hopeless to Masquerade your Dim Dreams

This Swede can't spit sweet raps, I make my own wondrous beats

So there's no use in fighting you and your Roblox knock-off

I guess your good raps are something you sold to Microsoft

WHO WON THIS 50% BLOCKY BATTLE?

WHO'S NEXT AFTER THIS ARC?

WAIT AND SEE IN UPCOMING NEWS!



*a few blocks of dirt and sand are crafted, forming a book that reads* Occasional Rap Battles that Exist!

Hint Telling
''Five Nights at Freddy's - FNaF is a franchise that has blown up on the internet. Same goes with Touhou.''

Bullet Hell - What Touhou is known as, usually

''Frank Lloyd Wright - He's known for building things. You can do the same thing in Minecraft.''

''Sonic.exe - He's mainly an entity in the form of Sonic, but with different eyes (“I GO FUCKING EXE!” ~Kyle J). Herobrine is the same idea compared to Steve, albeit not seen as a Mary Sue like Sonic.exe.''

Meet the Devil's Sister - Flandre Scarlet goes by the title "Sister of the Devil"

''The list of definitions - They all define a notch. Notch is the guy behind Minecraft.''

''Zune - Take out the "e" and you’re left with Zun. ZUN is the guy behind the Touhou franchise.''

''You blockhead! - Everything in Minecraft is usually cubes, like player’s heads''

Who did the thing? Minecraft Touhou