User blog:Loygansono55/Dog vs Cat: Territorial Rap Battles of the Animal Kingdom

Salutations, and welcome to the first episode of a brand new crap battle series, Territorial Rap Battles of the Animal Kingdom! To kick things off, we're going to settle the age-old debate: Dog vs Cat. Feel free to comment any suggestions you have for future battles, you might see them become a very shitty reality!

Lyrics
TERRITORIAL RAP BATTLES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM!

DOG!

VERSUS!

CAT!

BEGIN!

Dog:
Woof woof, you bastard! I am a man's best friend,

But not cat's best friend, I'll chase you until the very end!

Spell my name backwards, I am God, and I'm getting ruff!

I'm D OG, and I actually show my owners love!

You're afraid of water, I'll kick your catflap,

I am playful and loyal, you suck cat crap!

Hollah! I got a collah!

I am a ballah! I can fetch a ballah!

My name isn't Fido, but I'll still make you die, though!

I'll eat up your homework and make you fail school, hi ho!

I will bury my bone in your ass after you get spayed!

Then I will bury your dead body in your litter tray!

All of these will happen soon,

I'll call you Tom because you're Scooby Dooby Doomed!

Cat:
Meow! I'mma scratch your balls right off!

Your dick, I'll bite off!

Take it easy, stop being so cocky,

Before I take you out like it's-

Cat stands on her hind legs and swipes her paws.

Walkies!

Hear that? I'm purring because I'm happy that your losing!

I'm even better than you when I'm spending half of the day snoozing!

I like to to take a load off, you're noisy when you bark!

I'm playing this pup like this fetch in the park!

Suck my furballs, you furball sucker!

Hump that leg, you leg fucker!

Now sit while I put you down, good boy!

I'm lapping your blood up like it's milk, oh boy!

I have like, nine lives or something!

You are a canine or something!

I am a feline, that's something!

You belong in the pound, you dub thing!

I'll pounce on you and then make your face my bed!

Play dead! Now stop playing, and actually be dead!

Dog:
Hiss all you want, miss, but all your disses miss!

Jack the Ripper is covered in your piss!

Tommy Wiseau loves me, you're a crazy cat lady,

I am always making new friends and getting laid, hey!

I'm a family pet, you're just a family pest, hey!

You think you're pretty, but you're a little shit, hey!

You should just quit, you little shit, hey!

Kitty, you so shitty, even worse than a Skitty!

You don't even do shit except shit, you little shit!

You're a pussy, you little shit!

I'm so tired of this shit!

When I wag my tail, I'll hit you in the face, you git!

Dog jumps up and down repeatedly while barking.

Golly, molly! Stop with your folly, child!

I've just finished licking this kitty doggy style!

Cat:
You're such a bitch! Urgh, such a fucking bitch! Bitch please!

You can't climb trees, and you whine when you get fleas!

Look at that tongue, it's like you have Down's syndrome,

With my cuteness, it's clear that I'm the most popular pet in homes!

You love to sniff anus, I'll beat yours and then I'll-

Cat briefly licks her paws and lies down cutely.

Put this fucker in a kennel!

Cat is better than dog! Dog is worse than cat!

You know what I just said, that!

Roll over! Roll over a cliff, that is!

Who is the best pet? Cat is!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

TERRITORIAL RAP BATTLES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM!

Who won? Dog Cat

Territorial Rap Battles of the Animal Kingdom
Will add template later.