User blog:SkeepTieel/Dan vs Cartman Epic Rap Battles of Stuff - Season 1

Hello, my name is SkeepTieel, not to be confused with Sceptile.

This is my first fanmade rap battle in my rap battle series. In my rap battle series, I take two characters from any fictional or historical work and pit them against eachother. I don't do much work for the lyrics apart from researching/watching things and putting a load of references in there. This is my first rap battle, so I would like some helpful feedback so I can improve my rap battle series, thank you.

Here we have Dan from Dan Vs. against Eric Theodore Cartman to see who is the better revenge seeking angry animated character with a friend that are basically slaves. (Butters and Chris)



Instrumental
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmeO0icFbB8

Rap
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF STUFF

DAN

VS

EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC CCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Dan:

Hah, this matchup? Wow, are you kiddin'?

THERE'S ONE THING THAN I HATE MORE THAN FAT CHILDREN, IT'S FATTER CHILDREN

We both have cats! (Mr. Mumbles!) But your's is a dildo!

Mr. Mumbles is the best cat ever, even if your's is voiced by Jay Leno

You were in a gay relationship with Butters and Kyle, who's next? Stan?

Just look at the lyrics to your songs in your Christian Rock Band!

I bet your verse will be Jimmy talking, that kid who likes to st, st, stutter

Now lets talk about you, you're fatter than Sally Struthers!

Cartman:

RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH! Don't call me fat you fucking Jew!

You're full of shit! Shall I call you Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo?

You think just because I'm a kid means that you can defeat me?

Think twice, my good man. I made a ginger's parents into chilli.

I'm the Grand Wizard of the KKK, you could say I rule,

When it comes to rapping your raps suck ass, I prefer Dan Bull!

I'll tele-mark your every step, til you go insane!

There's only one word to describe this Cheesy Poof, and it's lame!

Dan:

Here's some advice: If you can't beat em', join em', but now,

If you can't join em', burn their damn house to the ground!

I'll break your legs and put you in a wheelchair like Timmy Burch

You won't be able recover from it, even with Stem Cell Research!

This ginger naughty Nazi fat ass should go play with Polly Prissypants

You're more of a slut than your mom at the Drunk Barn Dance

I already beat you, so I don't have to write you down on the list

So how will like it when you taste the end of my fist?!

Cartman:

No KITTY! That's a very BAD kitty,

I'll compare you to Mr. Kim because you're both really shitty!

You're like an angry goldfish, I'm like a vicious shark

I'll ruin your life in the industry, prick, like your name was Buddy Starr!

This ain't the first time you got beaten by a kid, remember the Lemonade Stand Gang

I have Mitch Conners and 'H'ennifer Lopez on my left hand!

It's the mysterious Coon, and you'd better be dead

When I summon Professor Chaos to make the whole town red!

Butters:

Well, jeez whistle britches. With my hammer you'll be smitten!

I'll poke your squishy stuff like your name was Paris Hilton

(Puts on Professor Chaos costume on)

I'm Professor Chaos! How will you like dealing with me?

(Um, General Disray, queue laughing hysterically)

(General Disray: Okay!)

I'm Going Native and I'm travelling to Hawaii

But unlike Princess Kenny, you'll never be Kawaii!

I have my Very Own Episodes, but your's are at their end!

I'll make you my Bottom Bitch and hang out with my robot friend!

Chris:

Can't you see Butters that you're a Stupid Spoiled Whore?

Your series had a bad streak of games since the Nintendo 64!

I'm 1/16 Canadian, yet I don't have a trash can as a head

Your stupid humour and your racist quotes make me brain dead

The fact that your show is still going is more shocking than Cartman's V-Chip

While Butters remains as an annoying replacement for Pip!

We hate you more than Matt and Trey hate Barbara Streistand

You both will have a more gruesome death than Chef's in season 10

Cartman:

Look at your T-Shirt, it says that you're a jerk!

Dan:

Yeah, but I'm not dumb enough to not know how pubes work!

Cartman:

Seriously dude, you're more annoying than the Underpants Gnomes

Whatever, douchebags, screw you guys, I'm goin' home.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT

WHO LIKES TACOS THAT POOP ICE CREAM?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF STUFFFF

WHO WON? Cartman and Butters Dan and Chris