User blog:Mystical Trixter/Tiger Woods vs Mike Tyson: Epic Rap Battles of Firebrand

Hello everybody and welcome to the twelfth installment of Epic Rap Battles of Firebrand! Today we have legendary proffesional golfer Tiger Woods up against former Heavyweight Boxing Champion Mike Tyson! And because boxing is involved here I can't do my normal intro, so...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls

LLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FIREBRAND

TIGER WOODS

VERSUS

MIKE TYSON

BEGIN

Mike Tyson
Let's get ready to rumble! In this corner we have reigning champ Kid Dynamite,

And in this corner we have an abusive infidel who can't put up a fight!

Clip this kitty's claws, then if he tries to pounce I go for a strike

You're no match in a rap, I'm pals with Tupac, and I rock the Iron Mic!

Punch you Out, watch you fall to the mat and when the ref yells 10

I'll score another KO and be crowned as the champion yet again!

This isn't even my quickest win, you ain't the first chump I've floored in Round 1

But since you've lost already why don't you think twice before fighting Mike Tyson?

Tiger Woods
What was that? Couldn't make out what you were saying over that lisp you got,

But either way I'll send you above to the Holyfield so go ahead and take a shot!

You sure are violent and criminal for someone who cares so much for their religion,

Something musta snapped in you when that kid popped the head off of your pigeon!

You were convicted for rape, probably got it back when you were thrown in jail

And you fly into a rage everytime one of your fights ends up with your fail,

Scoring 18 hole-in-ones and being professional since I was only two years,

I'll be here measuring my swing, because I'd like to keep both of my ears!

Mike Tyson
Peek-a-boo! Don't call this a Comeback, I've been winning since we began it,

You kidding me Eldrick? You're stepping to The Baddest Man on the Planet!

You call me Balrog, because against you I'm like a Violent Buffalo

I'm trading blows while you're getting bogeys against me you're too slow!

I'm done here, I've got some deals to make while you're selling out,

You lost your title bout, Tont, and this battle's done with a knock-out!

Tiger Woods
Ugh, you're making my ears bleed, and you didn't even take a bite outta them yet!

I owed up to what I've done, you're gonna spend the rest of your life with regret,

You're just jealous of my endorsements, you can't get them cuz you're bankrupt

You got those stupid tattoos to hide that your face and brain are messed up!

I insist you desist from this match, you're messing with the best since youth,

While you're a loopy, lonely, lamenting loser, and THAT'S the Undisputed Truth!

Outro & Poll
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE!

EPIC RA-RA-RAP BATTLES OF FIREBRAND

Who won

Tiger Woods

Mike Tyson