User blog:Dark Cyan/CyGIR Rap Battles 7: Tracer vs Max Caulfield

Hello, everyone. And welcome to CyGIR Rap Battles!

It hasn't even quite been a calendar month since our last battle! This is the pace we'd ideally like to keep, but we'll see what happens.

This battle pits the time manipulating Overwatch Hero Tracer against the time manipulating hero of Arcadia Bay, Max Caulfield.

As always, please comment if you don't understand any lyrics, and more importantly,

Enjoy!

Beat: Last Stand

Max Caulfield
(starts at 0:23)

Be Warned. A storm of disses is near and I won’t be Holden them back

Cause Caulfield always takes her shot on the track. It’s the End of the World when you step to Max

Armed to the teeth with laser blasts and Union Jacks, but its Junk Rat who’s getting the Time Out

Wowzers! Despite your fighting prowess, you’re still in the shadows of some boy, Scout

This rap has such a massive flow drought, only your bullshit lines keep Lisa alive and fertilized

Unlike a certain pose or your beau though, This Blizzard of rhymes will really leave your fans Polarized!

I’m idolized by my whole town! Players adore this Adorkable Arcadian Angel, she’s Legendary!

While you can’t keep one Robo-Gandh Alive! So Lena, go fuck your selfie!

Tracer
(starts at 0:47)

Cheers for that, love! This action will have consequences

Why don’t you try that again, or has hipster Sabrina taken leave of her senses?

You act like you’re a superhero? You’re so meek you make Warren look manly!

Think you can hurt me? I don’t think so. I’m not Chloe’s family

Don’t expect Mercy. This is the front Line and I’m putting you on Point

Some of the things you’ve said, love, make me believe that really was your joint!

Bring ‘Ms. Blue Hair and Beanie’ from the Emoji movie. You couldn’t even survive if you slowed this,

But as your shit photos have shown us, ‘Doctor Max’, you’ve lost focus

Max Caulfield and Chloe Price
(starts at 1:11)

Uggggggggh! No Emoji! Chloe! :D Stand back Super Max, let me handle this rap deal

Be careful, Chlo! Pffttt! Max, you know if I wanted to fuck around with her I’d just visit Paheal!

Man you’re super cereal! I’ll be hella Frank, Max, I’m not scared to spill some MAJOR beans!

Miss ‘Be Kind Rewind’ is more hipster shit than you, Mad Max! (Hey!) I’ll stick to DVD

The Calvary’s here, Chloe. Fuuuuuck, I’ve had enough with militaristic douches!

Doctor Who Gives a Shit should make her Brexit, Cause she’s unfit to rock in our Mosh Pit! (Shakah Brah!)

Emerging from Chrysalis with a Chaotic Diss that’ll knock your light out like the Dark Room

You singlehandedly sunk the sales of your lame crew Dude, Drop the Mic! Boom

Tracer and Widowmaker
(starts at 1:35)

I need support! Widowmaker, au rapport Don’t think I’m happy about this!

You’re an annoyance Oi, Watch it! Oh my god, just shut up and kiss! (I dare you!)

Tiens tiens, zere in my sights. Just one pull of the trigger and I’ll feel Alive!

You’re going to kill them?! Oui. Zat’s what happens when a Spider meets a Butterfly

Don’t Nod off trying to take the shot! Against these teens? You insult me, mon ami!

I’m going crank zis up to 11, just like the dial of an IV That’s harsh, Jeez!

I don’t need to irresponsibly wound time, because I’m a walking destructive phenomenon!

My ultimate’s ready, so keep your scope steady. Feel your pulses shoot up when I photobomb!

(Tracer tosses the Pulse Bomb and it sticks to Chloe's midriff, but before it detonates, Max holds up her had and shouts "No!" before time starts to reverse. Just before it does, however, Tracer's Chronal accelerator glows suspiciously. Max rewinds time to before the rap battle started, but doesn't notice that before she hides it, Tracer is smirking.)

Max Caulfield
(starts at 0:23)

Woah. I’m getting major Déjà vu vibes. I guess that’s common when playing Team Fortress Three

You’ve given me no more than a nosebleed. Figures a thoughtless Offense brought no D

That’s kinda my specialty: Going back to right any wrongs launched towards me or Chloe

Special Delivery: A lesson on responsibility, courtesy of some one more grounded than this manic Pixie

I know you Blink around at the speed of sound, but Keep Calm Tracer, and actually listen!

With my great powers comes great bullshit that can’t be easily fixed by Winston!

And If I Recall, you’re more enthralled by Loot Crates than being an Everyday Hero!

Your teams right, Oxton; this complicated world needs a lot less Zeros.

Tracer
(starts at 0:47)

Oh, you expected me to be clueless? I want a fair fight, not to keep going in circles!

I just reversed time at the same instant you did, so we’re on the same page of your journal

Now, where were we? Oh right, my morals and responsibility was under attack,

But what good are your powers if they can’t stop a girl taking one step back?

Want to talk about duty? I lost my corporeal form trying to save the world!

You don’t have the authority to decide who lives and dies. You’re just a schoolgirl

And spoiler warning: Saving your best friend’s life is not worth destroying a whole town

You being alive at all is now a paradox I need to fix! This time, love, stay down

WHO WON? Tracer Max Caulfield