User blog:SANTORYU99/Overly Translated ERB: J. R. R. Tolkien vs. George R. R. Martin

George R. R. Martin
Cheer up!

Trolls and elves you collect your soldiers,

And your input and your oak poke your Warg,

Glamdrings your dwarf and is the main new literature "Cause ring!

My reader, I poured all signs and love, I write!

Then I'll 'kill them! (AAAAH!), Almost no "to them, he did not!"

When all your bad guys dead, you good people will survive!

You can by the side of those age 5 due to say!

What you have seen through, looking for some sex video in the eyes! (Correct!)

Cast boobies on and throw away Goonies!

David has his dwarf more angular plot!

Held Hobbit Pavilion will not be able to handle my throne!

J. R. R. Tolkien
Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves,

Horse, fortress, magic and sword!

My feces you Hobubitto, you mediocre hack!

This is war, you think, George? Welcome to Charles Run Dry!

In this book sales, you have nothing to say!

My number one and two! They are under 50 Shades of gray!

I have a professional prose! Your feces under par!

You are a pirate! They stole my "River River"!

(Ha ha!) We all know that the world is full of opportunities and anarchy!

Therefore, in order random characters died, yes, this is real life,

However, Newsflash: fantasy genre called!

This means that this is a very realistic, short-sighted manatees you!

George R. R. Martin
I sincerely do as opposed to what this rhythm.

I'll cut my teeth as Beauty and the Beast!

Your professor tweed pants, it went too deep!

You do not need the whole damn tree branches inside story!

J. R. R. Tolkien
I cut my teeth in the Somme trenches!

Through Vietnam, your Santa Claus - LARPed ass!

I have to put clothes criticism, it is difficult

Crow from a person who, say hello sent to you on your toes!

George R. R. Martin
The man, your fat jokes, than pipe tobacco difference!

My show is the hottest thing on HBO!

I'm a rock 'N' roll. You are not a freak a little wimp,

And, although there is a possibility that I was dirty, hairy fetish, with the dog!

Also sucks name characters:

You are Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks!

I told them all dumb fucking second breakfast!

My stomach and tea Baggins lift my mother!

J. R. R. Tolkien
C · S · Lewis and I discussed

How do you and John Snow ...... no matter what do not know!

Since I signed ten billion inside story!

My children are making millions of my Silmarillion!

And I have a lot of rock 'N' roll than ever before!

Or you do not believe me? See Led Zeppelin!

You can not come into contact with this guy! Hell, I'll rise too high!

(Oh!) Every time I fight, it is the king's return!