User blog:Bobdave/Bob and Loyg's Too Swaggy To Handle Rap Battles of Too Swaggy To Handlery - Pewdiepie vs Um

So I was digging through my computer's files looking for forgotten porn and I found this. Enjizzle.

Announcer
BOB AND LOYG'S TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLE RAP BATTLES OF TOO SWAGGY TO HANDLERY THAT ARE VERY SWAGGY AND ARE ALSO IMPOSSIBLE TO BE HANDLED! (DID I MENTION THEY ARE SWAGGY?)

PEWDIEPIE

VS

...

Um

Um

YES!

UM!

XxX_BeGiN_XxX

PewDiePie
Haha, how's it going, bitch? I'm PewDiePie!

The most subscribed on YouTube, while you're just a small fry!

What the fuck even are you? *swears in Swedish*

Um, you're just a... um... yeah, one of those!

Um
I don't hesitate, cuz I am hesitate!

You just hide in a closet to not get raped

That means you gay, and you'll still get raped

By Um and his or her dildo shaped rake!

PewDiePie
Pewds is gonna poo on your face, here I come!

You better run! But you don't even have legs, this'll be fun!

I've got an army of fangirls that will rage on you, what a twist!

Now spread your ass, here comes the brofist!

Um
Did I stutter!? No! I just hesitated!

Like cheese, this sleaze is about get grated

You look like Egdar and also like Maya

You donate money to water, but Um spits Faya

PewDiePie's comment section suddenly gets flooded with hate, and he drowns in it

Um suddenly disappears when the sentence he was in continues, eliminating the need for him

Announcer
WHO WON?

Ummm

Um
I'm back!

Suck my sack

Announcer
Announcer: Ah, I remembered!

Ah
Ah: Don't count me out, I'm the exclamation of remembrance!

Markiplier
I'm coming in to help Pewds!

I'm Markiplier! The discount 'Pie! I'll make all you stutters die!

I play the same games as everybody else!

But everybody I'm rapping against smells!

Announcer
Err, what's happening?

Hrm...

Err and Hrm
It's confusion and bemusement coming in for the kill

We'll mutually masturbate and over you, we'll spill

Markiplier
Did I say you could talk? I didn't, I don't think

I'm so manly because I have a moustache that is pink!

You stink! Really bad!

So suck my gonads!

I'm Markiplying!

Markiplier suddenly starts splitting himself into many mini Markipliers which start rapping in incomprehensibly high-pitched squeaks

The battlefield splits open

Out of the newly created crevasse

Comes

The White House

Out of the White House

Comes

Barack

Fucking

Obama

Barack Fucking Obama
I'm here to back up you, uuuhhhh... uuuhhhhhs!

I'm the Pressy! All the Marks will be extremely saddened

When I shoot them in the heads like their name was Bin Laden!

Uuuuhhhh... suck my big black dick!

I'll flag your videos with just one uuuhhh... click!

Multiple Uhs
Motherfuckaz, Obama has summoned us

We will beat you dicks without a fuss!

PewDiePie
I'm back, I disabled comments cause you were all being assholes

And now I'll block you all like you're unfunny trolls!

MattyBraps
Nigga, I'll stick a dildo in your asscrack!

I bitch slap stacks of crap cuz I'm MattyBraps!

Announcer
STOP! JUST FUCKING STOP!

Ron Jeremy
Did somebody say fu...

Announcer
NO!

WHOWONWHOSNEXTYOUDECIDEGRFILUGERFYGEUFGVYEHANDLERY

PewDiePie Um Ah Err and Hrm Markiplier Barack Fucking Obama The Uh Team MattyBRaps Ron Jeremy The Announcer's Milky Flesh A Misogynistic Woman

8===D