User blog:HOW DARE YOU/Ellen Ripley vs Sarah Connor

Ok, so this is an idea that I've thought of recently (what with the release of Terminator: Genysis coming around the corner) and after running it by some guys in the comment section of one of the rap battles, I've decided to do it myself. The characters going head to head are Sarah Connor (heroine from the aforementioned Terminator franchise) and Ellen Ripley (space horror icon from the Alien franchise). I thought it'd be fun to do a little 80's-late 70's face-off, as well as to make a strictly woman v. woman battle. Hope you guys like it! Comment if you did, and if you didn't, please comment anyways.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMPROBABLE RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYY!

ELLEN RIPLEY

VS

SARAH CONNOR

BEGIN!

Ripley: Ellen Ripley reporting in, survivor of the starship Nostromo,

Before I make this baby go hasta la vista easy. "No problemo!"

I'm slayin' Xenomorphs in space, while you're locked behind bullet proof glass.

What makes you think you stand a chance against the ultimate badass?!

Vasquez and Bishop's got my back. 'Make you see that it's game over, man!

The only thing in your corner is a HAL 9000 juiced-up tin man.

I hate to break it to ya Sarah, but this ain't even a challenge.

I'm used to throwin' flames at some disgusting looking savage.

I've seen horrors in space that go beyond explanation,

But I stepped up, took control, and became my own Salvation.

Compared to me, it's plain to see, that you're just a second rate anarchist.

With such little redemption that you would get rejected by Anonymous!

You act like tough shit when all the praise goes to your son, sistah.

The best thing that you ever did for man was havin' Kyle Reese in ya!

And much like your time with Reese, I'm 'bout to end this prematurely.

Sorry Sarah, but your Judgement Day just came a couple years early!

Connor: You're lucky you're in space--no one'll hear your screams.

I can easily Terminate Aliens like I'm a Predatory machine!

If you think you wanna go, I think you'd better know

You'll get renamed John Hurt, 'cause I'll burst through ya with my killer flow!

I'm a soldier who's fighting for the species' future!

Girl, you're just an over glorified bug exterminator.

Keep hiding in a corner while I take care of business.

'Might even send Arny back in time and fuck you up worse than Prometheus!

You watched your comrades die. What's exactly there to boast?

I've seen a more "badass" Ellen who's a damn TV show host.

So get off your high horse up in space before I knock you down to MY level.

Try spittin' those flames when I'm bringin' on the heat like molten metal!

I've killed you. RIP! And there won't be another Resurrection.

But I'll give ya T minus 1000 to go cry back to your Weyland Corporation.

Think of it as an act of mercy, from none other than mankind's savior.

You can spend that time with Newt just to lie to yourself that you're not a TOTAL failure.

Ripley: Get away from her you BITCH! You wanna beating? Then LET'S ROCK!

I'll whip your ass so fast it'll be like you got shot out of an airlock!

Tell me, did Earth's IQ just drop suddenly in the years I was away?

Since when did murdering civilians become the way to save the day?!

You've beome as cold and calculating as those robots you fight.

And with those ghosts in your closet, you gotta tell me how you sleep at night.

You're not a savior, you're a conspiracy nut with a tin-foil hat,

Who's so pompous that you claim that the next Jesus is your spoiled brat!

Beating me is impossible, so put this in your Chronicles:

You may be a decent fighter, but I'm the genuine article--

Of a true horror heroine. From the start you were never a threat.

But I still obliterated you, like my name was Skynet.

Connor: You may think you're tough girl, but I know how you died.

Holding on to your insides while burning in a fire--Deep Fried!

Welcome to rumor control! And here are the facts:

I've saved the future while you failed to stop all those space bug attacks.

Try walkin' in my boots. I hold the weight of the world!

And I beat each and every plan that those damn bots have unfurled!

Plus if we did switch places, I'd get your job done.

Give me five minutes, and it'd be dead with just one blast of my sawed-off shotgun.

I've just hit my Genysis, while there's no way that you'll be back. By far!

You'll only be remembered as that eco-mad-scientist from Avatar!

The future may not be set, but this battle is over.

And like all of your dead friends, consider yourself terminated, fucker.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

COMMENT BELOW OR VOTE IN THAT LITTLE THINGY POLL I'VE GOT BELOW THIS THING. ON A SIDE NOTE, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THE NEW TERMINATOR MOVIE COMING OUT? THINK IT LOOKS GOOD OR GARBAGE? JUST CURIOUS. THOUGH NO ONE'S PROBABLY GOING TO ANSWER IN THE COMMENTS BECAUSE NOBODY REALLY READS THIS LONG LITTLE PARAGRAPH THAT WASN'T THAT FUNNY OF A JOKE THE FIRST TIME I MADE IT IN MY FIRST RAP. ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT NOBODY MIGHT EVEN KNOW THAT I DID THIS AS A JOKE THE FIRST TIME. THEY MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT I WAS JUST TYPING DOWN A BUNCH OF IMPORTANT THINGS THAT THEY REALLY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT. I DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT THEM. OR AM I? NO I'M NOT. I'M ME. I KNOW I AM ME BECAUSE I IS ME, AND YOU IS NOT I OR ME. THEREFORE, I IS NOT TO BE OR EVER WILL BE IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD 'THEM'. WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT AGAIN? I FORGET.

VOTE HERE! Ellen Ripley Sarah Connor