User blog:WonderPikachu12/Sans vs Vriska Serket



This is just for funsies, m8. No series, just fun.

I’d been wanting to do this battle for a long while now. With Homestuck finally coming to an end here soon, said end being on April 13th this month, I wanted to do this battle in honor of it. Amd so, here we have the pun-loving and font-named skeleton of UNDERTALE,  Sans, and the god-tiered troll with a love for the number eight and all things pirate-y from Homestuck, Vriska Serket , face off to see who is better deserving of their shared theme song, Megalovania.

Sans is denoted by this color. Vriska Serket is denoted by this color Tavros Nitram is denoted by this color

Forewarning to those who do not follow Homestuck: Characters in Homestuck follow a certain “type quirk”, both when they type and when they speak. This is more prominent in the trolls than the humans. For example, Vriska here has a love for the number 8, her character being based around a spider. As such, she replaces all b’s and any “eight” sound with 8. So, “8e” would translate to “be”, “st8” would be “state”, and “88” would be “bait”. If she uses multiple punctuation marks, she will always extend the amount to 8. Also, when she gets frustrated, she will start randomly replacing vowels with the 8 as well.

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p_4SDE2PEQ

(starts at 0:10)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY



VS



BEGIN!

Sans:

(0:14, rapping starts slow)

 it's a beautiful day outside. the weather's looking swell.

 birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and kids like you should be burning in hell.

(Rapping picks up at 0:20)

 i'm used to facing traitors, people who'd kill their own friends.

 then have it all reset and people act like their good guys again?

 scumbag serket, abusing and misusing her own kind.

 sorry, sister, but guess what? you're gonna have a bad time.

Vriska Serket:

(0:28)

You wanna talk 8ad time? I've seen worse from Lord English.

Flay you like a fish, I'm a8out to speed run this 8itch!

It's time you see the light! How can you even put up a fight, huh?

When it comes to utter failures, I've seen 8etter from Papyrus!

Sans:

(0:35)

 the chick from ms paint best not make the same mistake,

 as all those believing they can beat me, lest she meet the same fate.

 couldn't win over your friends, got cracked by an egg-bert.

 now, don't take another step forward, or you're bound  to get hurt.

Vriska Serket:

(0:42)

Hah! Come on! What happened to using your strongest attack first?

I'm forever undying ! You’re a dead kid with a curse!

Raps rich with this 8lue 8lood, while you’re stuck in the red caste !

You’re all out of luck! I’ll leave you red and stuck in a cast!

Sans:

(0:49)

 you really wanna go? welp, i tried to warn you.

 all choked up on your losses, it’s no wonder that you’re blue.

 i’m sans -ational on this rap serket. things are gonna get as-gory ,

 for the whored out bore with too long of a story.

 between you and flowey, you’re meenah. i’ll lock you up in the bone cage.

<font face="comic sans ms"> time anomalies? you’re insane! grillb -ing you like i’m jane!

<font face="comic sans ms"> end you like frisk. i wouldn’t even have a kismesis ,

<font face="comic sans ms"> with vrisk, the snitch who’s such a bluh bluh huge bitch.

Vriska Serket:

(1:03)

Way to take the 88, m8! Now you’re up against Mindfang!

You can’t spear me, you hear me? Now have a taste of my rage! >::::)

oH YEAH, tHAT RHYME WAS SO ILL! Shut up, Toreadork!



I’ve got a 8one to pick with you! You’re so lazy and SHORT!

Here’s an Alternian poetry slam in which you can’t match!

I can see right through you, even with my eyepatch!

I’m filled with determ8nation, as if I was Strider ,

8ecause you just got killed [http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/killed-by-br8k-spider 8y 8R8K Spider!!!!!!!! ]

Sans:

(1:17)

<font face="comic sans ms"> sigh. don’t you have someone else’s life to manipulate?

<font face="comic sans ms"> you’re just an irate pirate who’s obsessed with the number eight.

<font face="comic sans ms"> less frightening than a dreemurr, while it’s me gamers fear.

<font face="comic sans ms"> and you expect me to be afraid of a chick who relies on a sphere?

<font face="comic sans ms"> you’re the scourge  of this world that i’m about to purge.

<font face="comic sans ms"> leave you stuck in the bone zone, but not the one you prefer,

<font face="comic sans ms"> because your friends got bumped off when you got LOVE wrong.

<font face="comic sans ms"> you thought you could challenge sans? well, you just got dunked on.

Vriska Serket:

(1:31)

You don’t get it! I’m god tier! You have 1 HP!

Even when I’m a gh8st, I’m more relevant than you’ll ever 8e!

I can still 8e a hero without having to 8e a good guy.

M8anwhile, you didn’t do anything until 8ll your friends died!

Go 8ack to drowning in k8tchup, I’ll 8e drowning in fans!

I’ll 8itchslap you, so fear the troll who spe8ks in hands!!!!!!!!

It’s time that you ran! Leave you a8andoned like cans!

...you could never even level up to my comic, Sans. >:::;D

Sans:

(1:45)

<font face="comic sans ms"> stuff it, muffet. your win is pure bull -shit.

<font face="comic sans ms"> cause when i step to the mic, it's straight gaster blasters that i spit.

<font face="comic sans ms"> ask terezi, my win is visible. you’re a cynical criminal.

<font face="comic sans ms"> i’d make a homosuck joke, but like your comic, it’s too predictable.

Vriska Serket:

(1:52)

Coming from 8lunderfail, that’s some pretty 8ig talk,

When your game is just “oh! I gotta reset and save goatmom !”

Good and 8ad isn’t as definite as your game makes it out to 8e.

You’re a lazy 8ag of 8ones who can’t even 8e assed to save his own family!

Sans:

(2:00)

<font face="comic sans ms"> while you’re feeding others’ families off to your mutant lusus.

<font face="comic sans ms"> you’re murderous, i’m impervious. i’m never gonna lose this.

<font face="comic sans ms"> now look, this is dragging on too long. i’m gonna call it quits.

<font face="comic sans ms"> but hussie’s hustler here should know:



Vriska Serket:

(2:07)

It’s kill or 8e killed; you wouldn’t know what it’s like!

I’m flying with rocket 8oots! You ride down streets on a trike!

This is as real as it gets, and your f8 has 8een reckoned !

This depressed 8ozo is dead and has 8een left retconned!



Dr. Andonuts:

(2:17)

You’ll be running to your mothers when I’m through with you!

You Id-iots! You’re fucking disgraces! I’ll leave you both blue!

Things are getting spooky up in here! You’re Halloween Hacks!

I’ll rip your bodies in half and prepatch your raps!

I’m rockin  this mic! You two can’t even put up a FIGHT,

And not even Hero Mode  can save you from this plight!

You’re both damned to my world! I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff,

For such shitty ass failures that only Tumblr could LOVE.

When PC  faces a  PC, I see and deem fit to decree,

A verbal killing spree on these shit stains in history.

You’re singing shitty Beethoven  compared to my excellence.

Now, my mind may be gone, but HELL YES MEXICANS!

Alright, yeah, I’m fucking insane, but compared to you two, I’m tame

Bringing pain to the lame shames and this fucking predictable game.

Fat raps? I stack it! Fucking jackasses? I’ve had it!

tl;dr: eat shit, faggots.

Who Won? Sans Vriska Serket Dr. Andonuts