Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer



Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer is the eightieth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the ninth episode of Season 6. It features Marvel Comics supervillain and interplanetary conqueror, Thanos, rapping against the Father of the Atomic Bomb, J. Robert Oppenheimer. It is currently expected to release sometime during the week of December 16, 2019.

Cast
Nice Peter as J. Robert Oppenheimer

EpicLLOYD as Thanos

Thanos:
I am inevitable, immeasurable, inexorable, monstrous,

With bars weighing on you harder than your haunting guilty conscience!

I am Thanos, and I crush tracks like Tesseracts in my palm!

You're a pencil-pushing Terran who never learned to love his bomb!

Seems you started off a chemist, and on your world you were a prodigy.

Well, that makes sense, 'cause your rhymes are only hot periodically!

Man, I burned the Avengers down to embers, sent half your planet to be slaughtered,

And now I'm offing Oppenheimer like I did to my daughter!

Got a fist of gold when I'm rapping, six Infinity Gems what I'm packing!

Stick your tiny nuclear dick back into your pants, Dr. Manhattan!

Hadron smashing all your atoms, best not collide with me when I'm rhyming

'Cause you break and bleed so easy, I think I'll call you Oppen-hymen!

It's impossible to top me, Oppie, you just don't have the stones!

Apparently the only thing you're good at wrecking is a home,

'Cause you slept with your friend's wife, right there in your friend's bed,

Then got another married girl pregnant. You should have gone for the head.

J. Robert Oppenheimer:
Listening to you took everything I have left.

After your raps, I am become deaf.

You need an Iron, Man, for that wrinkly-ass skin

And that butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-butt chin! (Here we go now.)

Where's your rhythm? I thought you had the Time Stone.

Your punchlines sound like they came from RhymeZone.

You might be something in the MCU,

But between us? Who's the worst MC? You!

Your dialogue's got too many breaks in the syllables.

You talk so slow, Drax thinks you're invisible.

I cause chain reactions when I'm lyrical

'Cause I've got that fissile material!

You were born to Eternals, but came out looking out so scary

That your own mother, tried to make you a Temporary.

Meanwhile, I've mastered the atom more than any man alive.

Now I'm here to split you like two and three from five.

I'm a peaceful man, but I do what I must.

You had an evil plan, Thanos, and it left you in the dust!

It must leave you enraged, when you compare our talents:

Because in this battle, there is no balance!

Thanos:
For a communist pariah, you come off as awfully cocky.

But I'll make you bend the knee in round two like Nagasaki!

I'm the box office topper, the Marvel showstopper!

Got my name on this win like it's the Thanoscopter!

You just got no answer, for Fortnite's dopest dancer!

I will Loki choke you out like my name was throat cancer!

J. Robert Oppenheimer:
You wanna talk about Death? How 'bout the one that looked at you and swiped left?

I'm the destroyer of worlds, you got your nuts handed to you by a Squirrel Girl!

We're in the Endgame now, Tinky Winky.

I'll finish this like Ant-Man: all up in your stinky!

Anyone who believes that "Thanos did nothing wrong" crap

Has obviously never heard you rap! Oh snap.

Poll
Coming soon!

General

 * This battle was written in conjunction with members of the ERB Patreon. Patrons in the "Writer" and "Director" tiers on Discord were able to submit lines for the rappers, which were then incorporated into the battle.