User blog:SuperSm4shWarrior/Epic Fail Battles of History 4: Avril Lavigne vs. Gene Simmons

This was inspired by a dream, yet it is the best thing ever.

This is my fourth crap battle, featuring Avril Lavigne, the hottest woman in the word (wanna 1v1 me on that), against Gene Simmons, that guy from that band that nobody cares about anymore.

Brace yourselves.

Avril Lavigne
I am invincible, mofo! Can't beat me

I'm so badass, even Captain Falcon is jelly!

Speaking of Captain Falcon, I'll Falcon Punch your ass to Syria!

Then those religious dudes will kill you like a boss!

I shoot clones of Goku all night, I'm that badass!

What are you? A gay guy!

Nobody ever gave a crap about you since 2002

Nobody even cares that people compares me to Douchedick!

Gene Simmons
HEAVEN'S ON FIRE!

Lets get this straight.

The only reason people watched your Let Me Go video.....

.....is because they were looking for the song from Frozen!

I'm even more badass than you! Like a boss, bitch!

THIS!

IS!

SPARTA!

Avril Lavigne
What was that? I can't hear you over my baddassery.

Just like if this were Mega Swampert vs. Amanda Bynes!

Gene Simmons
Exactly!

I'm the Mega Swampert!

'Chad Kroeger
WHAT UP BITCH, I GOT A 1-UP, BITCH

WHAT'S INSIDE MAH QUESTION BLAWK? IT'Z MAH DICK!

IT'SA ME, MARIO, I'M MORE ITALIAN THAT PASTRAMI

I'LL TAKE YOU BY THE PEACHES AND GIVE YOU THE HOT SALAMI

I'LL SAVE YOU FROM DRAGONS AND EVIL BOOS THAT ARE SPOOKY

MUST I BE A RACCOON TO GET INSIDE YOUR TANOOKI?

I WILL MOUNT YOU LIKE YOSHI AND SHOW YOU THINGS YOU'VE NEVER SEEN

MY MUSHROOM'S NOW MEGA, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

SO SUCK IT!

Deryck Whibley
"Mario", don't do this shit

I liked a girl and you ruined it

By yelling stuff about your dick

Until they walk away

Fire Kraken (Skylanders)
You two, shut up!

I was supposed to marry the swagmaster!

It was in Llama's SSBB fanfic!

Fire Kraken (Yu-Gi-Oh)
Please, I am the best Fire Kraken, I'm even bigger

But nobody cares, let's get this battle heated up!

OHHHHH!

Fire Kraken (Wizard 101)
What's the point of this?

I'm a freaking magic spell, and these are my opponents?

A crazy person, a demon, an even crazier person, some random dude, a midget, and a guy famous for censorship?

SCREW THIS!

(the Swap Force Skylanders back up Fire Kraken from Skylanders, with Stink Bomb rapping and the remaining 14 a backup dancers)

Stink Bomb
Shaking my ass, watching myself

You guys all stink, and that's saying a lot!

I literally have ninja farts!

Swap Force Skylanders
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

DMX
Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at?

Douchedick
The world only needs one stupid crazy talentless whore, and that's me!

DamasterW
Get back in the bed, Miley!

Can I pull you're tongue?

Chad Kroeger
IT'Z MAH DICK

Fluttershy
Uh.....

Is this legal?

North America
What is this?

Leonidas
THIS!

IS!

A PARODY OF PROBLEM!

Ariana Grande
(nonsensical singing)

(mixed swears)

(complaints about how Victorious was cancelled)

I AM NOT AVRIL LAVIGNE!

'Avrilana Grandigne
Now I am!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Iggy Azalea
Who dat, who dat, I-G-G-Y

You all idiots must get ready to die

(Iggy pulls out a chainsaw, but it punched Cooper from his comic series, Cooper Comics)

Cooper
Yo, free hugs.

Bart Baker and Shane Dawson
Oh look, a new hit song

Let's parody it!

We'll also make the characters look and act like that smoked too much weed!

Snoop Dogg
Did somebody mention weed?

Chad Kroeger
IT'Z MAH DICK

(crazy fanboys shoot Fire, Chad, and Deryck, and run up to Avril Lavigne)

Crazy Fanboys
SCREW THOSE GUYS!

LET'S MAKE BABIES!

LOL, I'M BADASS!

Luigi
Yo, whaddap?

(Luigi death stare)

Dead or Alive
You spin me right round baby

Right round like a record, baby

Right round, round, round!

Flo Rida
Hey, you stole my song!

That's just wrong!

Ke$ha likes bongs!

Suck my ding dong!

Bangin' a gong, just like I banged your mom!

I eat with tongs!

In other words, you're gay!

Duncan from TDI
-

Duncan in the house, Imma kill all of you!

You're just a bunch of moose-headed, anus-kissing, overweight pussies!

Queen Elsa
Let 'em burn

Let 'em burn

Puff Puff Humbert
You're all Shitty G's!

Snoop Dogg
Smoke weed everyday!

Chad Kroeger
IT'Z MAH DICK

Yoshi
Shut up!

You're gay!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YO-

(the announcer is humped by Dankey Kang)

Dankey Kang
Gotta go bananas!

Expand dong!

I'd shower you in coconut cream pies!

Who won? Avril Lavigne Gene Simmons Chad Kroeger Deryck Whibley Fire Kraken, Swap Force Skylanders, and DMX Fire Kraken Fire Kraken Miley "Douchedick" Cyrus DamasterW Fkuttershy North America Leonidas Ariana Grande Avrilana Gradnigne Iggy Azalea Cooper Bart Baker and Shane Dawson Snoop Dogg Crazy Fanboys Luigi Dead or Alive Flo Rida Duncan Queen Elsa Puff Puff Humbert Yoshi ERB Announcer Dankey Kang All of the above Alison Brie Squidgy (Of Mice and Men) Goomy Shrek IT'Z MAH DICK