User blog:Avatar XIII/DCRB 14: Zack Snyder vs Michael Bay



Hey guys. This one was a bit of a strange one. This was what I was working on when the sequel to Trump vs Luthor suddenly came to me. But now I'm back on track with what I actually have planned, so yay. Just gonna be real with y'all, I didn't give two shits about the title cards and stuff. It is such a pain in the ass trying to find png backgrounds for real people. I admire anyone who has the patience to sit through doing that. I am clearly not one of them. I mean by god, that probably would've taken longer than the writing itself. Blerrgh.

Anyway, enough complaining from me. This match up pits the director of the DC Extended Universe, Zack Snyder, against the bonafide badass of the preteen movie industry, Michael Bay. Lights, camera, action.

Battle


VS



GO!

(Battle begins at 0:21)

Zack Snyder:
The film just started and my eyes are already rolling

There’s nothing but cheesy action, hot chicks and explosions

No character, no plot, no meaning, no emotion

You can’t handle the spotlight, but I was born for this moment!

Negative criticism doesn’t bother you? Alright, if you say so

It takes a lot to ignore the stench of those rotten tomatoes

Sit down and let me show you how to make a real classic

I’ll school you like your guide to sexual harassment

Michael Bay:
I make movies for teenage boys. Oh dear, what a crime

Come talk to me after I’m done with Transformers Five

Started off as a Bad Boy and Rocked my film debut

Your lousy originals got Sucker Punched by bad reviews!

I satisfy the audience with the visuals, I’m amazing!

You suck the color out of heroes. No wonder the fans keep complaining!

Man did they choose a dud as the director of the DCEU

How the hell do you make the big two worse than The Room?

Zack Snyder:
Oh please, I’m the very thing the DCEU needs

I brought to life the best Superman since Christopher Reeve

Even dawned a new era of the dead before AMC

But at least you made a shitty account of the kamikaze (Oooh)

I got Gals celebrating the 75th anniversary

All you have is an ugly Fox obsessed with plastic surgery

Shouldn’t have insulted Batfleck, cause now you can’t murder me (Ha!)

So Watch out cause this isn’t the last you Heard of me

Now I’ll slow this down. I know this speed is too much Four you

I’d share the wisdom of the Owls but good filming would bore you

So run along Bayby. You’ve given cinema enough strife

Go Purge yourself from the film biz and vanish like the Last Knight

Michael Bay:
You finished? I thought you’d go on until Tomorrow

It must be hard to change up your style, believe me, I know

Cause that fruity suicidal movie was straight up asinine

Who the fuck steals screentime from the Clown Prince of Crime?

You do too many comic films man. That shit gets old

Shove some Soul into your work and make some Black Gold

You had your time to shine. Now it’s the Rise of my Empire

Still think you’re better? Then let me give you a reminder

I’m rich bitch! (Yeah!) I don’t need permission to be reckless!

I stack towers over Lex Luthor, and I know he’s jealous!

With all this mother fucking money! I’m the best thing you can get!

You’ll be stuck with your 8 kids while I’m having dinner on my jet! (Boom!)