User blog:Epicnail/RRBoR S1 R2 Tournament- A Dog vs. A Mailbox

I didn't expect this rap to be very good, but I surprised myself. Twilight Sparkle pwnied Hitler 4-0 to advance to the Semifinals. Today is a dog against a mailbox. Woo.

RANDOM RAP BATTLES OF RANDOMNESS

A DOG

VS

A MAILBOX

Mailbox:

You dumb mutt, why don't you just roll over and die?

I'm not playing with you, Dog. Don't you dare cry

and whine when you get left out in the rain

and let the water wash away your chances right down the drain

I got a message for you, it's from your owner Paul

"How can you win this battle when I removed your balls?"

I'm a must have in every city and town

I don't need a vet to put this bitch down.

Dog:

I can stop your system like no one else can

You try stepping to me, I'll rip apart the mailman!

I may be in heat, but I'm just warming up

I'm a brave hound, you're just a pronto pup

Why don't you shut your trap, and just do your job

I'm the one, the only, the magnificent Dog!

I'll chew you up, because you're paper thin

leave bigger holes in you than Kim Kardashian

Mailbox:

You're all bark; you can bite me, you rabbid rat

I'm not the one who got outrapped by a cat

Dog:

You're not even supposed to make any sound!

I'll bury you in the backyard then I'll piss on the ground!

Mailbox:

Why don't you suffocate yourself with plastic packaging?

You may be the beast, but I'm the one who's savaging

Why don't you chew on your owner's bone?

So he'll leave you sad and alone, a disowned mutt without a home

I'll ship you to China, with no return to sender

I don't expect a postcard from you, don't send any letters

This dog's not going to heaven or hell

This dog is going to GO FUCK ITSELF

Dog:

I'm a result of evolutionary success

You're a piece of plastic, nobody's impressed

Wow, you squashed a fruit salad

I ate one for dinner, on top of that added

some beans and a steak, make no mistake

I'm great, I'm the king of beans baked!

You think you're really tough, just sitting there and stuff

You thought you just won? Well that's ruff.

WHO WIENERED? Dog Mailbox