User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Link vs Nice Peter - Parody of Trump vs Scrooge

Yes, I posted a blog yesterday, my apologies, but with this huge business trip I'm going on tomorrow I figured I'd just post this now. It's a parody of Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge, instead featuring the ghosts of characters Pete has rejected coming back to haunt him in a hopeless attempt to change his mind and let them be used in a rap battle. It features Nice Peter as Ebenezer Scrooge and Link, the hero of Time, as Donald Trump, backed up by Willy Wonka, owner of the chocolate factory, as J.P. Morgan, Spider-Man, the amazing superhero, as Kanye West, and Slender Man, creepypasta legend as The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. I don't have much more to say other than this, so enjoy.

The Battle
Instrumental - What did you expect?

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

NICE PETER!

VS!

LIIIIIIIIIIIINK

BEGIN!

Link:

WAKE UP, PETE. I’m about to take a dub-step into chat,

To crack this balding, faulty little tyrannical ass!

I’m like the head of this raging track, I’ll Link to your Past!

I’m not known for my raps, but you’ll still get Super Smashed!

You remind me of my Toon self back in the day- Not fit for combat.

Keep your CT from EpicLLOYD away from me, don’t even make contact

And I’m disgusted! I bring justice! I’ll bust your crusted Deku Nuts in!

Your skills have long since rusted, like Anne Frank, I’m hard to fuck with!

My raps are Groose-um, they’ll spook you, you’d better be scared!

‘Cause like King Henry and Hillary Clinton, you’ll be taken off air!

So when the clock strikes, three raps will attack you, don’t say its unfair

I’m out! I just murdered this little kid, call me Freddy Fazbear!

Peter:

Excuse me, Princess! Let’s just take it back a snip,

You say you’re the Hero of Time, but I’m on to your tricks

You’re surrounded by chicks but none ever raise your Deku Stick

I won’t be taking your tips, and you can eat a bag of dicks!

Willy Wonka:

Don’t panic, Pete! But don’t be expecting mercy!

I’m Willy Wonka! The OG opponent of Milton Hershey!

Who once a-gain rocks the ol’ hat and cane when he spits it!

Running the record on this dimwit, and he’s got no Golden Ticket!

You got your ass kicked by Lloyd and then threw a fit at ‘em

Almost dumped the whole project - Until saved by Kassem!

Because your stubbornness will lead you to troubles, there’s no telling!

Why reject us at first - If we’ll end up like Oprah and Ellen?

Peter:

Fuck you! Your raps aren’t sick, they’re an abomination

What frightens me more is your Tim Burton adaptation!

I decide for my own series, your flow is mindless babble,

So get on your glass elevator and fly out of this battle!

Spider-Man:

Well you should shut your mouth and marvel,

I’m the rejected rapper of Marvel!

(OOH!) Scaling buildings with great agility!

Not listening to your fans, are you kidding me?

There’s no Carnage to a sense of nobility!

With great power, comes great responsibility!

You best be having a moral crisis,

Cause ain’t even fit to be my sidekick!

If you were, then you at least would have tried

To stick to your guns and let the viewers decide!

Peter:

Whoa! How did that faze me? I must be going crazy! Wait…

Looking back to the Hyrulean’s roast, I still await one final ghost!

Slender Man:

RUN. (AHH!) ELSE IT’S YOUR DEMISE

WITH NOTHING BUT DISLIKES, NO ONE TO SUBSCRIBE

GIVE A REASON TO FEAR ME WHEN NEARLY

ALL VIEWERS DITCH YOUR STRICT DICTATED SERIES

FOR YOU’VE REFUSED TO ACCEPT SLENDER’S ARRIVAL

YET GOKU AND WALTER STILL GOT YOUR DENIAL

THE PROOF YOU’LL BE SLAIN FOR THE WAY YOU’VE BEHAVED,

IS AS PLAIN AS THE WRITING PRINTED UPON THIS PAGE

Peter:

Are you ever going to insult me? Or just threaten to turn me to mincemeat?

Your existence is pure fiction! Even if you killed me, it still wouldn’t convince me!

So stay away from my camp, thanks to ERBParodies, you’re way over-done!

It’s my god damned series! You all should fear me! I’m the one who announces -

Announcer:

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Who won? Nice Peter Link, Willy Wonka, Spider-Man and Slender Man