User blog:M.A.T.S.H/MATSH's Rap Battles 3: Zeus VS Thor

Wassap mah peeps. This is a rap battle that I quickly pounded out for the upcoming release of the new battle (which I personally am very excited for). I'm a big fan of Greek mythology and tried putting in as many things as I could. I don't know Norse Mythology as much as I know Greek mythology so I apologise for a lack of Thor references. Also, I didn't have time to make any title cards but I hope you enjoy the battle anyway... =)

Beat: Nightmares

Zeus (0.40):

I can scarcely even believe that someone wishes to make a comparison

Between this Father and this freak that’s more misshapen than Hephaestus

Your power cannot compare to me, you’re weaker than my son Heracles

Utter one syllable of disrespect to me, I’ll plant you in the ground like an olive tree!

I’ll send you and your buddies down to the underworld; you’re a hothead with daddy problems

Try flying out of here, I’ll suspend you to a burning wheel like you were Ixion!

Call upon all of your Marvel-ous super friends; I’ll beat them without trying

Because, the truth is, dear boy, you’re more stubborn and dumber than a Titan

Thor (1.03):

 For Odin, for Asgard and for all humanity, I shall slay this tyrant

 Who claims to be above mere mortal emotions and yet is so violent!

You tortured Prometheus out of jealousy and rage, you are no loving God

And I can tell you go both ways, what with how you love gripping a hard rod!

My father Odin CARES about my life! You let your wife make Heracles go mad

I’ll slay you in Valhalla, but there’s no way that you’ll ever return to fight back

<p class="MsoNormal">You were a father all right; all you care about is seducing people into your bed

<p class="MsoNormal">Did you write down those wack rhymes or did they spring from your forehead?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Zeus (1.30):

<p class="MsoNormal">My rhymes stand forever like the Parthenon and I am not impressed

<p class="MsoNormal">By a fool who had Mjölnir stolen by a giant andgot it back while wearing a dress!

<p class="MsoNormal">You’re a alienating annoying alien that manages to making fighting in battle a bore

<p class="MsoNormal">If you’re smarter than Salmoneus, you better not mock me and haul ass to your fjord

<p class="MsoNormal">Thor (1.48):

<p class="MsoNormal">Even if you were locked in The Dark World, you couldn’t be any stupider

<p class="MsoNormal">You claim I am a braggart with anger problems! Your ego is as big as Jupiter!

<p class="MsoNormal">Disney had to make Hades act like Satan in order to improve your reputation

<p class="MsoNormal">But the truth of the matter is you should have never been brought to creation!

<p class="MsoNormal">* The pair throw lightning at each other but a third bolt strikes down, revealing a small figure…out of the smoking mist comes…*

<p class="MsoNormal">Pikachu (1.56):

<p class="MsoNormal">You think you’re the only ones with lightning?! Prepare for a shock out of the socket

<p class="MsoNormal">Because Santa Claus and the Avengers’ jock are as pathetic as Team Rocket

<p class="MsoNormal">Zeus, you’re not powerful, you’re a creepy bisexual rapist with a crop of crazy cults!

<p class="MsoNormal">No one even worships you and your kids anymore; your rhymes are pure bull!

<p class="MsoNormal">The universe doesn’t revolve around you; you’re just a mean old oppressor

<p class="MsoNormal">I’ll throw YOU off Mount Olympus! The only Oak that I worship is a Professor

<p class="MsoNormal">Thor, your fables are violent trash! Your shitty movies are only liked by fan girls

<p class="MsoNormal">You have your head in the clouds while Ash and I are exploring countless worlds

<p class="MsoNormal">My Iron Tail is stronger than your hammer so go back to locking lips with Loki

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m the Master when it comes to Pokéraps, there’s no way you’ll make me run out of PP

<p class="MsoNormal">Beating you fools is a Vacation for me! Even Magikarp would laugh at these rejects

<p class="MsoNormal">You tell others to kill for “honour” whereas I teach people kindness, love and respect

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m beloved by millions around the world! You two are just washed up attention whores

<p class="MsoNormal">And you say you’re gods?! That's good! I’ve beaten many Legendaries before…

<p class="MsoNormal">(2.43):

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO WON?!

<p class="MsoNormal">WHO’S NEXT?!

<p class="MsoNormal">YOU DECIDE!

<p class="MsoNormal"> EPIC!

<p class="MsoNormal">*BOOM*

<p class="MsoNormal">RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

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<p class="MsoNormal">

Who won? Zeus Thor Pikachu