User blog:Joeaikman/My First Rap Battle - Charles Dickens vs Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Firstly, I know they've both had characters been in an ERBOH already but this is no affiliation so......

Secondly, I know it's rubbish, please help my self esteem by not mentioning this :)

Thirdly this was written for the First round of a Talent Show, we got through so I'll try and bring our future raps

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!

Introducing

CHARLES DICKENS

and

SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

DICKENS

I'll Oliver Twist these rhymes, fashion them like clay Ain't no way you'll beat me today I've not got Great Expectations of your Carol Doctor John Watson would call my flow sterile After I'm finished you'll be crying on the floor The opposite of Oliver, begging me for no more

DOYLE

I deduce from your raps that you're not an intellectual You remind me of Scotland Yard because you're crap and ineffectual You're being played by Joe? Man what happened to you? You're biggest moment was an appearance in Doctor Who That's e-snuff of your raps, an order not a request This is The Case of Two Authors, and I'm the best

DICKENS

You're hitting Hard Times Judging by those rhymes Some of those lines Were simply crimes Now I arise, from The Poets Corner bitch A massive tomb for me. For you? A ditch

DOYLE

I'm the most popular Victorian author The best English writer since Geoffrey Chaucer My father was a drunkard. I had a traumatic childhood Still I achieved, and I earned my knighthood Your world is cookie crumbling, like a bar of Galaxy You think you're better than me? Boy that's a fallacy


 * Dramatic music*

DICKENS

What is this?

DOYLE

What is happening

ANNOUNCER

Introducing......

GEOFFREY CHAUCER

CHAUCER

I think it's time you two Canter-buried the hatchet The author of Sherlock Holmes and Bob Cratchitt You, Dickens I'm gonna haunt ya My rhymes more lethal than Cesare Borgia And you, what's up with the bizarre moustache? So distracting, drivers end up with whiplash This battles over. I'm gonna end it here So off you trot, go back home disappear

WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? EPIC. RAP. BATTLES. OF. HISTORYYYYYYYYYY.

Thanks for reading :)