User blog:TP87/Mixing ERB Episode 5: Batman vs Sherlock Holmes

Batman:
Nice dork, duck. You look like a hat.

I had Tango & Cash suck your nuts. He told me they read.

I'll crush your British books until they're a detective work.

I've seen better bangers and mash in Alfred.

You punk, I kick streets like you off the chumps,

While you and Batman here are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries.

Nothing makes me rap, but I bet your laughs can.

So bring it on, bitch! I'm Velma!

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson:
I once met Bruce Wayne who smelled of guano and pain.

Holmes, explain.

I deduce this billionaire is a rich fellow!

The deuce stain?

Yes, his toys would allow this superpower of ours,

To afford the wealth he needs,

Since he has no adversaries!

You want a battle, British Butler? Bring it then!

I heard he has an Englishman.

Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by bats!

You're an ill doctor black pantied spud with no flow.

My sidekick's a vigilante...

Because his skills are so wack!

Batman:
Shut up, sidekicks. I eat justice, so serve it.

My nerd only comes around...

Robin:
...When he's killed!

Boy Wonder make you wonder how your ass got needed.

Bust harder than those raps down in Baskerville.

I'll bite you with that bat-wack-hound repellant.

Snatch a building, chillin' a villain, then by dinner be rappelling.

Gotta secret 'bout your homegirl Conan Doyle.

Took her back to my fiddle to shatter her.

I'll boom pow kersplat that nest with a chop of the hand!

Holy Irene Adler, let's get 'em! Aw god damn!

Batman:
You're not selfish, you're smart. You endanger everyone's wife.

Why don't you let your brother here go home to his life?

Nobody likes you. Not your boyfriend, not your arm, not Scotland Yard!

You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your partner!

Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson:Edit
*thinking*

This mustn't register on a childhood gesture...

First, exploit emotional punchline... then gesture with Watson...

Pipe finishes punchline... next, acknowledge catchprase...

Conclude with killer compliment...

*end thought*

I believe your batshit crazy basket case is why you mask your waste

You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the passive case

Of watching like a vast disgrace as daddy died and momma was dispatched with haste!

Holmes, you've cracked the face!

You're your parents' homicide!

OOOOOOOOHHH!

I've got tonnes.

Dissing Watson was elementary, my dear Dynamic Douchebag!

Bloody Good Rhymes!