User blog:TKandMit/Sonic the Hedgehog vs Rainbow Dash. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 3

I gotta write one of my battles eventually, so here we are. Welcome once more to the Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains, with yet another battle in store for you today.

This was a battle that was suggested to me early on in the series that I was originally gonna do in Season One, but kept putting it off. I eventually scrapped the idea, but I’ve been really wanting to use these characters so I decided to go with it.

While I wrote this entirely on my own, I owe some thanks to Jude who inadvertently inspired me to write this battle in a sort of different way; his audio cover for his battle, Jesse Owens vs Usain Bolt, motivated me to write this. I wrote the majority of this battle in one sleepless 24-hour excursion because I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to stop writing when I got going. I then, a few days later, finished writing the battle in a very similar fashion. I should go to bed.

Speaking of Jude, be sure to check out his Audio Cover Album for uploads that are coming soon, as well as a collaboration between us that is also coming.

This battle’s a bit longer than most, so enjoy. :)

Cast
George Watsky as Sonic the Hedgehog (voice)

Jenna Marbles as Rainbow Dash (voice)

EpicLLOYD as Shadow the Hedgehog (voice cameo)

Mary Doodles as Fluttershy (voice cameo)

Introduction
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!



Versus!



Begin!

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Good thing I flow like the wind, ‘cause this will be a breeze!

I’ve been snatching these for years; you can’t beat me in the ring!

You can’t stick to this track! You’re already coming in last,

So get outta my way or slam on the pads; I gotta go fast!

You control the weather? Shouldn’t you be 20% cooler?

If you’re so hot, how come your whole fanbase is a kid on a scooter?

I’ve brung the thunder to the lover of the Wonderbolts,

I admit you got some moves, kid; under my somersaults!

You’ll get dropped in ten seconds flat in the matter of this tourney

Blasting through a full pipe, leave your eyes looking Derpy

I have the force for this horse -- of course, you’re lame!

The source of the problem? Your failures in sports and fame!

While I’m in twenty-four courses; an Olympic athlete!

I’m a high-rolling, side-scrolling masterpiece!

And of the fans may be freaks, but yours take it up a notch:

Jacking their meat to filly clop, and I ain’t talking chili dogs!

If you’re village cowered from a Princess, what about me at midnight?

And reppin’ gay pride doesn’t make your story better than Twilight!

I’m kicking your ass, cladded with that trashy tramp stamp tattoo

I’ve left a legacy so large that my name’s even in your fast-food! (Ooh!)

And you also took it for your special move, the Sonic Boom,

Your show’s cringier than the bronies wearing full pony costumes!

I’m hazardly harassing this has-been straight outta Hasbro,

Passing her fast, this jackass should know that you’re too slow!

Rainbow Dash:
Twi, do you mind I borrow Spike to write a letter?

‘Cause this porcupine-lookin’ freak thinks he’s the better competitor!

Dissing this pegasus? Even Daring Do knows that’s dangerous!

I can hang in the air for days, but those puny legs will give!

‘Cause this is my domain! You’re down while I can only get higher

And yeah, I joined the ‘bolts, ‘cause it’s time I Spitfire!

So you say I’m worse than a cyclops who’s been ripping off Goku?

Come on! A mushroom crunching plumber’s loved more than you, motherbucker!

Dash has the edge, backed by her friends and magic animals

So I hack at the Hedges -- ooh, I love Whac-a-Mole!

Is that all? Pssh, your worst villain’s Humpty Dumpty with a mustache!

You’re always over-Shadowed; from your own games to Super Smash!

Plus you got your moves from me, I’m talking ‘bout Spin Dash!

And even that’s been one-up’d by that other mascot named Crash

While I’m in my Prime! Our franchise Discorded the Transformers!

After ‘06, no one orders your horrible excuse for a game performance!

(Oh!) Is it statements like that that make Sega mad?

Who rules the blue sky? Here’s a hint, it ain’t Breaking Bad!

You couldn’t catch a fat Egg in a leg race, Speed Racer!

Throwing shade every which way at this glorified Faker!

Stick your tail between your legs and run home to your mother!

You lost this before it begun, but you’re getting passed with flying colors!

You don’t deserve those sneakers, you should be out picking flowers! (Yay.)

‘Cause if you wanna sound tough, you’re gonna have to talk LOUDER!

Super Sonic:
I’ll show you! How loud’s the speed of sound when I’m tearing you apart?!

I’m the fastest thing alive! Who do you think you are?!

I’m gonna pin the tail on this donkey like I’m shooting in the dark!

And leave you badly bruised, tacked with a black and blue cutie mark!

Rainbow Dash:
Bleaching your hair blonde doesn’t make you rap like Slim Shady

You may be big in gaming, but we’ve been making waves since the Eighties!

Get a Fitbit, misfit; knowing your Miles might pay off in a marathon

So consider this as a lesson to not mess with this mare all along.

Who won?!

Who's next?!



Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Who won? Sonic the Hedgehog Rainbow Dash

Hints: Decoded
Gay Pride Flag: Rainbow Dash’s hair and tail are rainbow colored, and similarly leaves a rainbow streak through the sky when flying.

Twilight: Rainbow Dash’s friend is Twilight Sparkle. That’s it.

Thunder… Thunder… Thunder…: Rainbow Dash can control the weather by manipulating clouds, which can allow her to cause it to thunder. Dash also is a member of the Wonderbolts, a team of athletic flyers whose name derives from a portmanteau of “Wonder” and “Thunderbolts”.

Sonic diner menu: The fast-food restaurant chain Sonic Drive-In shares its name with Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic also loves chili dogs, a food product featured in the hint.

Segamad66: Sega is the video game company that created Sonic the Hedgehog. Also, his username is referenced in the battle itself when Rainbow Dash asks, “Is it statements like that that make Sega mad?”