William Wallace

"I'm Wallace! And I'm flawless!"

- William Wallace

William Wallace battled George Washington in George Washington vs William Wallace. He was portrayed by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the rapper
William Wallace was born c. 1270. He was a Scottish war rebel in the Wars of Scottish Independence against England. He is most famously known for winning the Battle of Stirling Bridge, defeating a much larger force of English. After his defeat in the Battle of Falkirk in 1298, he evaded capture by the English for seven years. Following his betrayal by a English-sympathizing Scottish knight, he was executed by being hanged, disemboweled, beheaded, drawn, and quartered on August 23, 1305. In film, Wallace has been famously portrayed by actor Mel Gibson in the movie Braveheart, which won an Oscar for Best Picture.

Verse 1:
Look at ya, in your little blousy outfit,

Looking like a stiffer white dick than your monument!

I'll knock you the fuck out, mate. You died owning slaves; I died setting men free! (Scot free!)

That's the Highland way. This powdered prick couldn't beat me in a foot race!

I was emasculated, eviscerated; I had my head chopped off and they put it on a pike,

And I still find time to bust a Gaelic rhyme,

And rip your Yankee Doodle arse on the mic!

I'll knock your face off your moola!

Alba gu bràth! (Gu bràth!) Hoo-rah! (Hoo-rah!)

Founding father, but no children.

Crossed the Delaware, but your soldiers can't swim!

That's Washington, such a shite tactician!

The fucking British Army didn't even want him!

I'm Wallace! (Hoo!) And I'm flawless! (Hoo!)

Stay hid in your office or suffer great losses!

I pop my kilt, strap my sword in my hilt, step on the battlefield, and I'm ready to kill!

Send all you politicians straight down to hell!

The only Washington I trust is Denzel!

Verse 2:
I don't give a shite 'bout your fancy clothes!

You whipped all of those out of slave black folks!

Grew weed, then you made hemp rope,

But if you think you'll beat me, you must be having a smoke!

(No joke!) Don't tee off with me, laddy!

If you held my balls, you couldn't be my caddy!

My style's ice cold; yours is old and shabby.

You're the father of your country, but I'm your daddy!

Scrapped lyrics
Add a loss, not a win, to your tally, George.

My heart's colder than the wintertime in Valley Forge!

Jersey put your face on a bill, but it's the one that's least valuable!

And your monument represents you perfectly: it's an enormous phallic tool!

Trivia

 * He is the sixth rapper to have a variation of the name "Bill".
 * He is the second "Sir" in a rap battle.
 * He ties with Stephen King for the most lines out of any rapper in a single ERB, with 26 lines.
 * He is the fifth real life historical character to be based off of a popular film depiction of them.
 * At some points in the battle, as well as in the title card, EpicLLOYD's tattoo is visible on William Wallace's left arm.