User blog:WonderPikachu12/Total Drama ERB episode 17: Parting the Competition

This was written by me and only me. Fuck A6 and Tux.

Story
EpicLLOYD: I'm EpicLLOYD.

George Watsky: And I'm that white boy who raps fast.

EpicLLOYD: And this is Total Drama ERB-

George Watsky: Where apparently I'm now the peasant and the peasant is royalty.

Zach Sherwin (off-camera): EAT IT!

EpicLLOYD: Quiet, both of you. Last time, we took our contestants for a spin when we spun a wheel, where each time they landed on either a challenge tile, where they were to complete a small challenge, or a food tile, where they got food when we decided not to feed them. In the end, Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali tied for being the worst and ended up both taking a barrel together in the first double elimination.

Zach Sherwin: Now, find out what hap-

George Watsky: Go away, I'm the one co-hosting this episode!

Zach Sherwin: Make me, peasant!

EpicLLOYD: Ugh, dammit, Peter, why'd you have to ditch me for this episode? Here, on Total Drama ERB. Roll transition. Please.

*The scene cuts to the house, Justin Bieber propped back on the couch.*

Justin Bieber: You know, it's surprising how quiet it is around here without the sports maniacs constantly fighting.

Cleopatra: "Surprising"?

Justin Bieber: Ehh, fair enough. At least I won't hafta worry about those damn jockstraps appearing everywhere.

Cleopatra: Right. Whatever. ...wanna form an alliance with me, Al, and Vader?

Justin Bieber: It's "Al, Vader, and me", not- ...wait, why're you asking me?

Cleopatra: Your enemy Napoleon Dynamite is starting to befriend my enemy Eve. If we four work together, that's four against three, since they also have Poe, and...yeah. That guy isn't going to last long for sure.

Justin Bieber: ...okay, yeah. I'm in. Let's make sure to get Napoleon out soon, though. The guy pisses me off to no end.

Cleopatra: Can do. Don't know how that dweeb managed to last this long, anyways. I'll get Al and Capone to vote with me against him and we can all get him off next challenge. I want Eve to go first this one.

Justin Bieber: Sure. It's four to three anyways, like you said, so no matter what, they'll get voted out.

Cleopatra: Exactly!n In any case, I'm getting sick of Eve's attitude. She's been getting all pissed at ME because HER boyfriend cheated on her. Not like I wanted him to kiss me in the first place. I just wanted him to stop making googly eyes over Eve. It was disgusting.

Justin Bieber: Well, to be completely honest, the way you always complained about it, it sounded a lot like you were j-

Santa Claus: *opens the door* Excuse me, coming through. Someone apparently threw up in one of the bedrooms, here to clean it up.

Cleopatra: Ew, gross. ...who was it and can you take a picture?

Santa Claus: Ugh... I'm not here for your weird fetishes. I'm just the janitor.

Cleopatra: Ew, I just wanted it for blackmail. Geez.

*The scene cuts to the cafeteria, Napoleon Dynamite eating some tater tots while Edgar Allan Poe enjoys some gross looking mush.*

Edgar Allan Poe: I wonder what you have done well, to eat good food instead of this hell.

Napoleon Dynamite: The tots? I just stuffed some in my pants from the last challenge and have been keeping a stash of them ever since.

Edgar Allan Poe: I advise to save what you can, for I fear our enemies hold a sinister plan.

Napoleon Dynamite: You mean Vader, Capone, Cleopatra, and Bieber? Yeah, they definitely have something planned, but I can't imagine the first three ever working with Bieber. No one wants to work with him, come on.

Edgar Allan Poe: While yes, that is true, I still fear for what they might do.

There is two of us, four of them, and Eve shall be useless without Adam.

Eve: Excuse me?

*Edgar Allan Poe tenses up as Eve sits down beside them.*

Eve: Look, yes, I'm incredibly fucking depressed about the whole Adam ordeal, but right now, I'm more pissed at Cleopatra, since she's actually in the game and something I can focus on kicking the shit out of. I want to team up with you guys.

Napoleon Dynamite: Sure. I'm certainly not going to complain. You, Poe?

Edgar Allan Poe: Of course not, no complaints here! We shall be united, like the Three Musketeers!

...or the Three Stooges, I cannot tell, but who cares? We will still send them to hell!

Eve: Hell yeah we will!

Zach Sherwin (via intercom): CHALLENGE TIME, PEASANTS!

Eve: And it looks like it's time. Let's get to it.

*The scene cuts to the docks, where seven motor boats are hooked up.*

Moses: Greetings, little ones. It is I, Mozizzle, and I be the host all up in these here challenge. Ya feel me?

Darth Vader: *whispers to Al Capone* So, we got Kanye West hosting the challenge? *Al Capone snickers.*

EpicLLOYD: Alright. There are seven of you and seven boats. All the way out in the distance there, you might be able to see an island. *EpicLLOYD points off to said island.* You are to have a boat race to the finish line. Whoever gets there first gets immunity. Oh, and Justin Bieber, seeing as you got that immunity reward last challenge, you get a free pass out of this challenge.

Napoleon Dynamite: Not cool!

Justin Bieber: Suck it, nerd.

Napoleon Dynamite: Sorry, my mom told me not to put small things in my mouth.

Justin Bieber: Surprise, surprise, the nerd still listens to his mom.

Moses: Calm down, for reals, yo. This be a challenge of peace. Also, if you don't make it across in time, I'll be splitin' this here sea in two, and once you be in, you be out.

Eve: Isn't that incredibly dangerous?

Moses: Naw, man, it's cool. You're gon' be safe, no doubt. Have a little trust in the ol' Mozizzle, y'all.

Edgar Allan Poe: This guy is truly a pest, more annoying than Kanye West.

Napoleon Dynamite: I hear that.

Eve: God, give me strength through this...

Cleopatra: You're going to need it when you go down in this.

Eve: Oh, shut up.

Cleopatra: No, I mean it. When this battle is over, so are you.

Eve: You already stole my boyfriend, slut. I'm not letting you steal my chances of victory either.

Cleopatra: Oh, you wish I stole your boyfriend. He just decided you weren't good enough for him.

Eve: Don't make me-

Moses: Rawr, Mozizzle does love to see a couple of underdressed honies get into a catfight.

Napoleon Dynamite: Don't you mean honeys?

Darth Vader: Ugh... You guys are all morons... Could we just start this challenge already? I'm itching to win.

Edgar Allan Poe: Because ever since you lost your man-

Darth Vader: I swear, if you finish that sentence, I will force-choke you so far, you won't even be able to say "Nevermore".

Moses: Alright, chill, dawgs. Climb all down into them there boats and get to boatin' on mah mark.

Justin Bieber: ...eh, what the hell? I'll join in. If I get to beat that nerd, then it'll be fun regardless, and no matter what, I can't get out.

*Both teams climb into one boat each, starting up the motors.*

Moses: On my mark...get set...GET THE FUCK GOIN'!

*Moses shoots a gun as the boats take off, a bird falling out from the sky and splashing into the ocean.*

EpicLLOYD: You brought a REAL GUN!?

Moses: Well, yeah, man. That pretty woman of yours gave it to me when I asked.

Mary Doodles: ...sorry~ Guilty as charged!

''*The boats take off fast, shooting down the ocean line rather quickly. Right off the bat, Justin Bieber starts bumping his boat into Napoleon Dynamite's.*''

Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Knock it off!

Justin Bieber: Why? I could crash us both right now, and nothing would matter, as I would still be in the game!

Napoleon Dynamite: Unless you, perhaps, killed yourself in the process.

''*After a short, awkward pause, Justin Bieber pulls his boat away. Meanwhile, Eve and Cleopatra are neck-and-neck for the lead.*''

Eve: Get out of the way, slut!

Cleopatra: Can't you come up with a better insult first, bitch?

Eve: Sandbag!

Cleopatra: Pear!

Eve: Grrr!

Cleopatra: Grrrrr!

Eagle: CAW!

*Abe Lincoln flies past the two being carried by a bird.*

Abe Licoln: Onward to victory!

''*Eve and Cleopatra look to one another, absolutely confused, before just continuing on further while Abe Lincoln flies off. Al Capone and Darth Vader just casually ride side by side.*''

Al Capone: So, everyone else is out to get one another.

Darth Vader: Yeah.

Al Capone: Kinda disappointed that I didn't make any enemies in my time here. Would'a made things a lot more interestin', but beggers can't be choosers, I suppose.

Darth Vader: Enemies definitely make things more interesting, but the less people out to get you, the better. I know all to well that having too many enemies is never a good thing.

Al Capone: Yeah, 'cause you got a whole bunch of rebels against you, right?

Darth Vader: Rebels, yeah. I had one guy close to me that I thought I could trust to no end, but in the end, I learned he was to betray me, so I had to take him out myself.

Al Capone: Harsh. Sometimes, you get the wrong kinda' men. I trust my crew back home, though. I know they'll never betray me. And I know you guys won't, either. But hey, once it's just the four of us, it's every man for himself, capisce?

Darth Vader: Yeah,  of course.

Al Capone: Something on your mind?

Darth Vader: Ehh, just that this is so boring.

Al Capone: I suppose, but hey, no one is out to get us, right? That means they'll all be too busy killing each other while we roll right on into the final two together.

Darth Vader: Heh, sounds about right. But we've still planned for the four of us to reach the final four together, right?

Al Capone: Yeah, but you can't really expect Justin Bieber to make it any farther without our help, right?

Darth Vader: True, true...

Al Capone: And while I dearly love Cleopatra like a sister, I can't really imagine her making it to the final two. She'd get third, I'm sure. Plus, trying to do it with me in my sleep? Yeah, ain't forgetting about that any time soon.

Darth Vader: Heh. Whatever fuels you to win, Capone. I'm just glad that everyone else has their own enemy, allowing me to get where I need.

Al Capone: If you say so. Just make sure that when we get to the final two together, you give me all you got. Don't hold back.

Darth Vader: Do I ever?

Al Capone: Hey, just making sure. Don't want you going soft on me. You've been a lot more drawn-back as of recent, so I just wanted to make sure ya were still all for facing off against me.

Darth Vader: Of course I am. It's just...I've got plans. Big plans. And seeing as how I don't act as much of a threat as I should, it feels pointless. There's not build up anymore, no more than there is between Cleopatra and Eve, and Bieber and Dynamite. Maybe I could try starting something with Poe, but I'm not sure.

Al Capone: Nah, don't bother. They'll all end up knocking on another out, anyways. Plus, we're going to vote off Eve after this, right?

Darth Vader: Not if Eve wins this challenge, which she might as she's tied with Cleopatra right now.

Al Capone: ...shit. Well, I'm gonna go stop that from happening. See ya.

Darth Vader: Heh...see ya.

''*Al Capone quickly speeds ahead to catch up with Eve and Cleopatra, Darth Vader keeping his pace. Justin Bieber keeps driving around before bumping into Edgar Allan Poe.*''

Justin Bieber: Out of the way, emo!

Edgar Allan Poe: Napoleon tried to warn you! If you do not stop, your time will be through!

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: *appears behind Edgar Allan Poe* You're going to die if you do not stop! Get on with your life, stop being a fop!

Justin Bieber: What the fuck?!

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: You've chosen the path of a selfish kid. You'll soon be regretting everything that you did.

Justin Bieber: I'm not a kid, shut the FUCK UP!!

Edgar Allan Poe: I am surely confused at this sight, for I understand not what is your plight.

Justin Bieber: I'm talking to the damn ghost behind you!!

Edgar Allan Poe: What ghost is there? I see none. If you get distracted now, this race I have won!

Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: For the way you've behaved, karma will come. Keep following your path and you will surely be done.

Justin Bieber: Shut...UP!!

''*Justin Bieber rams his boat hard into Edgar Allan Poe's boat. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come vanishes as the two boats crash hard, and both Justin Bieber and Edgar Allan Poe are sent crashing into the water.*''

Edgar Allan Poe: This water is cold, and so is your heart! We must hurry and act before the sea is split apart!

Justin Bieber: Fuck off! I'm getting to the end on my own!

Napoleon Dynamite: *pulls his boat to a stop just in front of them* Climb on.

''*Justin Bieber hastily climbs on first before Napoleon Dynamite pulls Edgar Allan Poe on board and quickly drives back off. Currently, Eve and Cleopatra are tied for the lead with Al Capone directly behind them, Napoleon Dynamite far behind in last with Edgar Allan Poe and Justin Bieber hitching a ride while Darth Vader slows down just in front of them.*''

Al Capone: Hey, ladies. How're you doing?

Eve: Back off, fatty.

Al Capone: Fatty?!

Cleopatra: Oh, like you're one to talk. Are you sure you only took a bite out of one fruit?

Eve: FUCK OFF!!

''*Eve turns and slams her boat hard into Cleopatra's, but she turns it in Eve's direction so they both collide together. Meanwhile, Napoleon Dynamite is guiding the boat to catch back up with the others, Justin Bieber and Edgar Allan Poe sitting on the side with Poe writing something down.*''

Justin Bieber: Can't you make this piece of shit go any faster?

Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh, shut up. Be grateful I even decided to let your stupid ass on my boat in the first place.

Justin Bieber: Whatever. I could've gotten there faster if I swam.

Napoleon Dynamite: I can help you test that theory if you'd like.

Justin Bieber: I'd like to test the theory seeing if nerds can float.

Napoleon Dynamite: I'm human, dipshit. Of course I can float.

Justin Bieber: Human? There's another theory we can test.

Napoleon Dynamite: Seriously? Is that the best insult you can come up with?

Justin Bieber: Are you still talking? Ugh. Shut up already.

Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you get over here and make me?

Justin Bieber: Maybe I WILL!

*Justin Bieber tackles Napoleon Dynamite and the two proceed to struggle, the boat starting to lose control.*

Edgar Allan Poe: Stop it, cease with all this fighting! Now I'll have to drive instead of finish writing!

''*Edgar Allan Poe works to steer the boat back on course while Justin Bieber and Napoleon Dynamite duke it out. Two oars are lying on the floor of the boat. Justin Bieber quickly grabs one and raises it up to swing down at Napoleon Dynamite, but Napoleon Dynamite quickly grabs the other oar to block it.*''

Justin Bieber: Just give up already, NERD! You're through.

Napoleon Dynamite: Stop making this more intense than it is, douchebag. And try coming up with an insult better than nerd. You sound like you're ten.

Justin Bieber: Fuck off, toothpick.

Napoleon Dynamite: THERE we go. See? That's a much better insult than- SHIT!

*Napoleon Dynamite rolls aside as Justin Bieber swings his row down hard, smashing it against the boat floor.*

Justin Bieber: Dammit!

*Napoleon Dynamite tackles Justin Bieber down, pinning him to the bottom of the boat with the oar.*

Justin Bieber: Get off me, dork!!

Napoleon Dynamite: Stop talking already.

Edgar Allan Poe: This incessant fighting is beyond inane, that I will pull this boat over if first I don't go insane!

*Edgar Allan Poe passes the boat past Darth Vader rather quickly, bumping up behind Eve, Al Capone, and Cleopatra.*

Edgar Allan Poe: Hello, contestants. Room for one more? Napoleon is here, too, with Bieber stuck under an oar.

Al Capone: Oh, shut up. Your constant rhyming is pissing me off even more than usual.

Edgar Allan Poe: My apologizes, I was entirely unaware. I do not wish to fuel warfare.

Al Capone: Ugh. I hate poetry. Giving me a headache...

''*Edgar Allan Poe pulls the boat up between Al Capone and Cleopatra. Eve is on the farthest left, Al Capone is second on her right, Edgar Allan Poe is to his right, and Cleopatra is to Edgar Allan Poe's right.*''

Cleopatra: Hey! Get out of the way! I was trying to knock Poison Ivy off her boat over there!

Edgar Allan Poe: Please do not commence to knocking me in the blue. I am but an innocent poet; I have not wronged you.

Cleopatra: Get the fuck out of the way before I make your whole boat blue!!

*Cleopatra rams into the boat hard, shaking it and rattling everyone around in it.*

Justin Bieber: Gack!! S-stop that!

Napoleon Dynamite: I said stop talking! *presses down harder on him with the oar*

''*Cleopatra continues to ram her boat against Edgar Allan Poe's boat. After continuing this, Edgar Allan Poe's boat ends up being pushed over and slaming hard into Al Capone's boat. His boat promptly flings him out as it turns overboard, Al Capone landing hard in Eve's boat.*''

Al Capone: Ugh, wow, there goes my lunch.

Eve: I guess I can let you ride. But shut up and stay quiet.

Al Capone: Can do. *sits on a seat in the back of the boat*

*As Al Capone's boat sinks down, Cleopatra's boat slams into Edgar Allan Poe's boat.*

Cleopatra: You bastard! You just knocked over Al's boat.

Edgar Allan Poe: Do calm down! It was not my doing. His fall was of the choices you've been choosing.

Cleopatra: Will you shut up already?!

''*As Cleopatra rams into Edgar Allan Poe again, the waters tremble. Darth Vader looks down, having casually ridden behind to let everyone else destroy themselves, watched as the ocean had begun to split. In a panic, he started to turn the boat, but was quickly pulled down into the gap. Darth Vader had then lost the challenge. Cleopatra slammed into Edgar Allan Poe again, his boat falling down into the ocean gap, counting as a lost for the three of him in it. Then, Cleopatra had made a mistake in trying to knock their boat in, her boat promptly falling in right after and causing Cleopatra to lose as well. Eve's boat was quicky reaching the edge, however, right as it reached her, her boat crashed up on shore of the finishing line, skidding along the sand before crashing into a tree and throwing both Eve and Al Capone backwards onto the boat.*''

Eve: Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit...

Al Capone: Oh, land, sweet land... *kisses the sand several times before promptly spitting out the sand from his mouth* Ew, ew, ew, ew...

*Up above, EpicLLOYD and George Watsky hover up above in a helicopter.*

EpicLLOYD: And finally, Eve and Al Capone both tie for first, winning a double immunity for the both of them in the challenge! ...not that anyone can even hear me at the bottom of the ocean. MOSES!!! GET THEM OUT OF THERE!!

George Watsky: Argh!! Could you NOT scream right in my ear?!

EpicLLOYD: Oh, shit. I thought I brought Moses with me. Where is he?

*Meanwhile...*

Moses: Aw, naw, man. You think you can just step up to the Mozizzle? I don't think y'all realize who you be messin' with. I be able to talk to the G-O-single D!

Santa Claus: Is that the best you got? I got an army of Elves to back me up! What've you got besides a walking stick and scantily clad women?

Moses: Oh, now you done messed up!

*Santa Claus raises up his arms, calls out in a booming voice "HO HO HO!", and an army of Elves appear behind him.*

Santa Claus: You were saying?

Moses: ...shit, dawg.

*After a few hours of working to get the contestants out from the ocean, Darth Vader, Al Capone, Cleopatra, and Justin Bieber all gather back on the main island.*

Justin Bieber: So, now what?

Darth Vader: Well, either we vote out Edgar Allan Poe or Napoleon Dynamite. Eve just won herself immunity, meaning the only ones that can be voted off are those two, me, Cleopatra, and-

Justin Bieber: I have immunity as well, from the last challenge. So just you two, emo, and toothprick.

Al Capone: Hehe... Toothprick... I like that...

Cleopatra: Poe was a bitch and knocked Capone out, so I say him.

Justin Bieber: Or, we could go with Napoleon Dynamite, since I actually hate him.

Al Capone: Ehh, I'd rather get Napoleon out. It's seriously a wonder how he's even gotten this far at all.

Darth Vader: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with nerd as well. Poe is much less of a threat, anyways, so he'll go out easy. Dynamite is more determined and has a real goal.

Cleopatra: Ugh...alright, fine. Dynamite.

Justin Bieber: YES! Sweet revenge, here I come...

'''(Confessional) Cleopatra: Really hate that Eve has to survive another challenge, but she'll get hers soon enough... I'll take her down myself in the final two, if I have to.'''

Justin Bieber: Good luck with that.

Darth Vader: I do believe the plan was that we all make it to the final four.

Cleopatra: Hey, you know that complications are bound to get in the way. Those brats are sure to mess something up at some point. But for now, we know at least Napoleon can't do anything.

Darth Vader: Fair enough.

*The scene cuts to later that night, just before the elimination ceremony.*

EpicLLOYD (via intercom): Elimination time, everyone! Get on over here!

*Napoleon Dynamite, Eve, and Edgar Allan Poe are gathered at the cafeteria, finishing up dinner.*

Eve: Well, I guess this is it. One of you two is getting the boot tonight.

Edgar Allan Poe: I have the utmost fear of who it might be, as I do not wish for us to be sent to sea.

Napoleon Dynamite: Ehh, it's four against three. There's nothing we can do. Unless a miracle happens and we-

Justin Bieber: Hey there, toothprick, bitch, emo.

*Justin Bieber sits down at their table.*

Napoleon Dynamite: Come to gloat, assfuck?

Justin Bieber: No. Well, yes. But no. I want to make a deal with you guys.

Eve: ...a deal?

Justin Bieber: Cleopatra betrayed us. Sort of. She was the reason I lost. I could've won that challenge!

Napoleon Dynamite: You only would've won if Poe and I also won.

Eve: Doesn't matter, anyways, since you had immunity regardless.

Justin Bieber: Whatever. She knew that I was in that boat, anyways, yet she kept ramming into it. She totally betrayed me. That's why, I want the four of us to vote her off together. If we do, then it'll be the four of us against the three of their votes, and Cleo will get the boot.

Eve: Hold on, what's in it for us?

Justin Bieber: The two weakest links here don't get the barrel and you get to say goodbye to Cleopatra.

Eve: ...fair enough.

Edgar Allan Poe: I still have my doubts on thus. How do we know you won't betray us?

Justin Bieber: Would I lie to you? Don't answer that. Look, I'm a guy about revenge. And I want revenge on Cleopatra. I know, we don't have the best relationship with one another. But I can agree with you guys that they're all total dicks. I'm sure once the four of us, us as in them and I, they'd make sure I would be the first to go. That's why, I want to work with you all to make sure they go off one by one as well. They think I'm working with them, anyways.

Napoleon Dynamite: How do we know you're not actua-

Eve: Napoleon, he has a point. Besides, it's not like it matters. We won't know if we can trust him or not until the elimination ceremony, and by then it won't matter anyways, so the best we can do is go with it for now. Besides, as long as Cleopatra gets at least near to being voted off, I'm good.

Napoleon Dynamite: ...Alright, fine.

'''(Confessional) Napoleon Dynamite: I don't think I need to say this, but obviously I don't trust Justin Bieber at ALL. Even if he goes through with this, I still won't trust him. He's just not going off because he has immunity. I'd get those other three to help me vote him off now if he didn't. He's still my enemy, and I will see to it that he gets off, no matter what.'''

*The scene cuts to the elimination ceremony.*

EpicLLOYD: It comes down to this. The final seven. We're nearing the final five, soon, then the final three, and then finally, the final two.

Cleopatra: Finally.

Justin Bieber: I've waited too long for this moment...

Napoleon Dynamite: *glares at Justin Bieber*

Edgar Allan Poe: *rests a hand on Napoleon Dynamite's shoulder to try to comfort him*

EpicLLOYD: Let's see... Eve, Bieber, Capone. You three are automatically safe thanks to your immunity.

Al Capone: But of course.

EpicLLOYD: Darth Vader, Edgar Allan Poe, you both got no votes towards either of you.

Edgar Allan Poe: A joyous moment, for sure! I can already taste victory at my door!

Darth Vader: That is the dumbest metaphor I've ever heard.

EpicLLOYD: The final two of this elimination... Napoleon Dynamite...

Napoleon Dynamite: *gulps*

EpicLLOYD: And Cleopatra...

Cleopatra: Hmph.

EpicLLOYD: And...the one who is staying home for another day...

*The group tenses, Napoleon Dynamite glancing nervously between Cleopatra, Edgar Allan Poe, Eve, and Justin Bieber.*

EpicLLOYD: ...is...

*Cleopatra simply remains cool.*

EpicLLOYD: ...

Cleopatra: ...

Napoleon Dynamite: ...

Eve: ...

Edgar Allan Poe: ...well? Are you going to tell?

EpicLLOYD: ...Cleopatra.

Cleopatra: ...wait...WHAT?!?

'''(Confesional) Justin Bieber: As tempting as it was to vote off Nerd-poleon Dork-amite, I'm not going to let someone who betrays me get off scot-free. ...why did I think of William Wallace for a second there...?'''

Napoleon Dynamite: *sighs heavily with relief, Edgar Allan Poe patting his back in comfort*

Cleopatra: That can't be right!! There were FOUR votes against Napoleon Dynamite! FOUR!! HE SHOULD BE OUT, NOT ME!!!!

EpicLLOYD: Sorry, but the votes don't lie. Take her away, boys.

*Hulk Hogan and Macho Man grab her, dragging her away.*

Cleopatra: Unhand me, you roid ragers!!

Hulk Hogan: Sorry. Nothin' personal.

*They drop her into a barrel, quickly slamming the lid down on her.*

Macho Man: It's about time, brother. She'd always scared me, anyways.

Hulk Hogan: I hear that. *chucks her barrel into the water*

George Watsky: With a surprising twist of an elimination, we are now down to six competitors. With two alliances of good vs bad and Justin Bieber going back and forth between both, we can only wonder who will get the barrel next time on Total...Drama-

Santa Claus: CHARGE!!!!

Moses: Aw, HELL naw!!

*Moses runs by behind the dock, chased after by Santa Claus and a hundred different Elves.*

George Watsky: ...ERB!

Standings
Competitors