User blog:Corporal Genesis DXTR/Epic Rap Battles of History: The Master vs Jim Moriarty

OK! Haven't done this in a while. I've had this idea - I know it wasn't me originally, or something. - for a while, and I decided to just do it. Meh. So, basically, it's psychopathic criminal mastermind Jim Moriarty, from BBC Sherlock (although there are a couple of references to the books, I think) against time travelling arch enemy of the Doctor, the Master, from Doctor Who. It's the John Simm version. (Sort of.) And, it's quite hard to word without doing what I'm trying to avoid, but - just as a warning -

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Series 8 Spoilers. Also, as another warning, it's probably not that good, as I wrote it in about 5 minutes. Lel. True pro.

Let's go.

Cast
Peter Shukoff as Moriarty

Alex Farnham as Master (Simm)

EpicLLOYD as Master (Delgado)

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Jim Moriarty

VS!

The Master!

BEGIN!

Master-

Dear Jim, will you fix your own bones when I break them?

Or will you just cry and shoot yourself in the brain stem?

I'm a Lord of Time, while you're just a queen.

You're staying in one place, I've got a time machine.

You'll never achieve anything, I'll cause your downfall

I always escape, I can't even die, you can't beat me at all

Who committed suicide? You! Who took over New Years Day? Me!

I'm bleached to perfection. I am the Master, motherfucker. You will obey me.

Moriarty-

sigh I'm the stalker? Following that freak through time and space.

My brain is bigger on the inside, I'll put your whiny ass back in it's place

At least I've still got a home! I'll burn your heart more than Gallifrey burned

And I'll burn you with these bars, quicker than that bitch Donovan turned!

I am James Moriarty, I kick detectives from rooftops, you always get foiled

I will skin your ugly-ass face, your butt just got Arthur Conan Doyle'd

You really can't claim I'm effeminate, can you, Missy?

Time for the revenge of the Irish sissy.

''Moriarty shoots the Master, and he regenerates, a la Tenth Doctor. He regenerates into his Delgado incarnation''

Master-

Ah, what did I tell you about death, my dear fellow.

I'll kill you and Moran, your dumbass sniper bedfellow

51 years! That's how long it takes for you to get a new season

Now go, bitch! I'm a Lord, and you just committed treason.

''The Master pulls out a Tissue Compression Eliminator, and kills Jim. Satisfied, he turns a TV on, watching the Clangers. Suddenley, Jim's face appears, and Jim appears behind him.''

Moriarty-

Miss me? Everyone missed me, they were begging for me to return

Nobody wanted you back, ever, they got bored of you, now it's my turn

To rip you a new one, harder than that blue box brainbox did every time.

You show up on our screens but people want me, the Napoleon of Crime

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DUNNO!

EPICRAPBATTLESOFHISTORY!!!!!!!!