User blog:Mr. Swell Guy/I fixed Vlad the Impaler vs Dracula

Vlad vs Dracula was kinda wackula so I fixed it you’re welcome

Vlad:

Imagine forests of buffalo wings, dripping on a buffet

I’m actually quite hungry, I haven’t eaten since Tuesday!

Vlad Dracula, that’s the name of our ship

Dipping my Doritos in my nice spicy dip!

Scorched the earth, from the overworld to the nether

When did you inspire anything cool? Probably never!

I was on The Young Turks, can’t you see these bars I’m dropping?

Fuck! I’m out of Doritos! It’s time to go shopping!

I eat my steaks, you gay fuckin dick

I kill you at Olive Garden with an ice pick

Not just the men, but the women and the children and the cows!

I’ll kick your ass in 3... 2... 1... now!

Dracula:

Does this mic still work? I think it might’ve broke

Are you really not a feminist? Damn you finna gotta be woke!

The flex of a queer-spearing cringling can’t vex me

Cos I diddle kids and I make it look sexy

I’m universally known for spitting hot fire

I shapeshifter into mist and respect Winona Ryder!

A let hare, popped collar, and a sick pair of crocs

While you’ve got less taste than a pair of old socks!

Your rhymes are empty like the Official ERB Wiki Discord Server

I’ll invite you to McDonalds and buy you a burger!

Ha JK, you got pranked, I don’t really like you

And your disses, heh, well, they kinda fucking SUCK!

Vlad:

Did you shapeshift those punchlines? Cos I can’t see them

And your skills like your reflection, I also can’t see them

I’ll grief your Minecraft house, with some TNT

I haven’t seen a sucker this soft... fuck I need a PEE!

Get beat my Count Dracula? Vote for Barackula!

I drop bombs like Iraqula, I’m dope like Count Blackula!

I’m Vlad to the bone! Vlad the frat boy

Vlad that fucks bitches while Drac is just a soy boy!

You leeched my name you fucking gay ass cuck!

And your weak ass probs can’t find a fit girl to FUCK!

Your hair and cape and whatever are all faggy razzle dazzle

But at end of day you’re a bad, and that’s not even a hassle

Dracula:

Wow! I did not no that you could read!

That’s great! I’m so proud of you sweetie!

Ha! You thought the sun could kill me? Not true?

can you keep it down? I’m trying to watch Ice Age 2!

My syllable delivery is delightfully devilishly intricate

I rock the house, when party rockers are in it!

And here’s a tidbit that you can stick a stake up

I bought half your shit and I keep it locked up!

Renfield!

Renfield: yo wassup

Dracula:

Call a doctor, not Phil

Cos Vlad got killed

End me