User blog:Croutonic Relationship/Dr. Phil vs. Sigmund Freud

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

SIGMUND FREUD!

VS.!

DR. PHIL!

BEGIN!

Sigmund Freud:

This philanderer handles his avid watchers silently He bastardizes mental health, a plight upon society With pipe and cane, none shall remain when father comes-a-knocking My raps will paralyze and psychoanalyze, it might be shocking What's unearthed behind the frame, behind this man who loves his fame Behind my boot, nothing will stay of Dr. Phil, except this stain Inside your brain, the vile taint of Network TV shows it's face You'd have no fame if Oprah hadn't used her show to launch your name!

Dr. Phil

The chair's open, Sig, why don't you have a seat? This ain't the first time we've had a coke addict on TV Now settle down, take a breather, tell me what is on your mind I hear your medical liscense in modern times has been declined? Well, Sig, hear me out, now, this may come as a shocker I don't need a desert stage to bring you to the Hurt Locker And what's all this drama 'bout your momma? It sound's like someone's repressed I'll kick your Oedipal balls so that I can release stress!

Sigmund Freud

How dare this pitiful imbecile treat me as a common man? My boasts are greater than this host, he cannot win, but I can! I am the greatest, my writings all echo through history The fact that a stupid, deluded fool distrusts me is like a kiss to me! You play with disciples, corrupting kids with your libel I do not fear, I'm not frightened, but I'm simply delighted To enlighten those entitled to real doctors, and that's final!

Dr. Phil

You better listen, fella, I'mma Phil you in! This ain't no Austrian victory, it's a Texan win! The only thing that stinks more than your rhymes are your teeth! You better get that checked out, or you could buy some Febreeze! Your Schlomo-ver's atrocious, why don't you suck a cigar? Because I'm crushing more Austrians than the last Russian Tsar! You can talk shit to Texas, but you can't walk the walk And no, you stupid motherfucker, this cigar's not a cock!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!