Santa Claus

Santa Claus battled Moses with his Elves in Epic Rap Battles of History 27 and was played by Nice Peter.

Santa is not real.

Information on the rapper
Santa Claus, also known as "Saint Nicholas", "Father Christmas", or "Kris Kringle", is a figure with mythical, historical, legendary, and folkloric origins. He's the spirit of Christmas. Santa brings gifts to nice children on Christmas Eve and coal to the naughty children as a lesson. Santa is mostly portrayed as a jolly, fat, white-bearded man dressed in a red coat with black boots who laughs, "Ho, ho, ho". He lives at the North Pole with his wife, Mrs. Claus, a large number of elves, which help him to make the toys, and his flying reindeer, which pull his sleigh when he is delivering gifts. The most popular is "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". Aside from Rudolph, there are Dasher, Donner, Blitzen, Cupid, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Bitzen, and Vixen. He often climbs down in people's chimneys and lays presents under a Christmas tree. Some children even leave milk and cookies for him as a gift, as well as a few carrots for the reindeer. Shopping malls usually have a place where you can meet Santa and ask him what you want for Christmas. He is also one of the mascots of Coca-Cola.

The character was based off of a Dutch account in which the real St. Nicholas (270 CE-343 CE) would travel to the homes of the poor and leave gifts for them,  The modern "jolly elf" may be attributed to a marketing campaign in the 1930's. Some sources point to Macy's or F.W. Woolworth & Co. for the idea; others, to Coke. Either way, Claus is the face of all things holiday--and we here at ERB Wiki wouldn't have it any other way.

Verse 1:
Sweet robes, Obi Wan-too-many days in the sun

Stop preaching homie, teach your flock to covet some fun!

I bring joy every year, man I represent cheer

You represent sandals and a scraggly beard

I’m from the North Pole, that’s why my rhymes are so cold!

I spit diamonds but I’m serving up some fresh coal

You’ve been a naughty boy, you brought a plague of frogs

You best arrest yourself, you broke your own law

Or was there something in Rule Six I didn’t understand?

My list says killed Egyptian dude, buried him in sand

I read your book, you got a strict religion

No bacon, but mandatory circumcision?

I’m a jolly bowl of jelly, giving holiday presents

But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!

Verse 2:
(Santa in bold)

Elves:

We ain't slaves! All that sand turned your brain to mush

Santa:

I think you need to stop smoking all that "Burning Bush"

Elves:

Yeah, we're magical workers, man. We hang with reindeers

Yo, here's a GPS. Who gets lost for forty years?

Santa:

You're a glorified secretary, so write this down

Elves:

Begat Deez Nutz

Santa:

Santa Claus is comin' to town



Trivia

 * Peter played Santa in one of his previous music videos, Santa is a Gangsta, which was made exactly two years before Moses vs Santa came out.
 * The naughty list Santa is holding, has the names Master Chief, Mr. Rogers, Moses and Mozart on it.