User blog:ERBofSmoshery/Confucius vs Socrates

Confucius vs Socrates
Chinese philosopher of the Spring and Autumn period of Chinese history, Confucius, and one of the founders of Western philosophy, Socrates, rap against each other to see which historic philosopher has the better teachings

Cast
Dumbfoundead as Confucius

George Watsky as Socrates

Nice Peter as Xenophon (cameo)

EpicLLOYD as Aristotle (cameo)

Link Neal as Plato (cameo)

Socrates
I've got a Socratic problem with this Laozi teacher

It's like someone's mixed Mandar Kokate with a preacher

You'll get a piece of Greece if you ever step to Socrates

I educate the minds and rock the Western Philosophy

Your bunch of Eastern freaks couldn't even reach

The height of this Greek when he starts to speak

I'll beat you real bad and Chow-maim a Yun-Fat ass

My students could out-school you with just one class

You're old and boring, I know you know nothing

Your brain is like my beard, all fluff and full of stuffing

I'll puke-ius all over your books, I'm confused-ius

Why anyone would even want to battle Confucius

Confucius
Here's a little lesson, straight from the East

I may be calm, but you'll feel my inner-beast

The best philosopher, you can't top to me

When it comes to squashing Greeks, I'm the one to beat

I'm the writer of the quotes, and I'll put on a show

He who raps like the river is bound to have the flow

Confucius says, that's my Socratic Method

Make the Book of Rites right without any effort

Feel the consequences, 'cause the true rapper has risen

You rose up to a trial and got Hemlocked in prison

I'm the wiser one around here, just ask the seer

You couldn't even write a book in the whole of your career

Socrates
You must know thyself as beaten when competing to my knowledge

Wiser teacher? Ask Plato what I taught him in college

You're a fool, you could never compare to me

I round Greece to sound of people cheering Socrates

I'll Spring up and fall down on you like your Autumn period

Beat me in a battle? Man, you can't be serious

You ape-faced prick, I'll call you King Kong Qiu

You could never count the burns made to K'ung Fu-Tzu

Confucius
Don't Analect-ure me about things I created

I gave wisdom to the world, your good is unstated

Ath-hens cluck better words than you, it's been said

Your brain's the size of the gadfly that buzzes round your head

I'm almost finished with my verse, but my class? Take a seat

Wanna rap against this MC? You're sure to get the beat

The teachings, you should try them, see what it's all about

Don't question me again, just get the fuck out

Poll
Who won? Confucius Socrates