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Today is: August/27/2024

My age: June 30 2014 6:13:00 GMT



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Food Parodies {{Hidden
 * header=Store Squashington vs Mealliam Jawless (George Washington vs William Wallace)
 * content=

Store Squashington:
There's a difference between you and meat, Meally.

I ate 'till I was actually full, Meally!

I got my taste on a burger.

You got baked and burgered,

Gobbled on the orders of Burger King, really?

How'd you get ate by and chewed by Longshanks?

You're a hot dog and he ate off your bean franks!

I'm yummy like a edible food bank!

Ain't no foods more good than sweet teeth!

Stone baked with a grill and sweet peas!

A kettle chicken chewy is your dentistry!

I got tasted, a plate, and a pea tree!

(Stroke!) Eat up in a boat,

(Stroke!) You're chewing, shove down your throat.

(Stroke!) I ate those nuts and dough; now who's got that bread coat?

Mealliam Jawless:
Look at ya, in your Brussels spouts-y outfit,

Looking like a bitterer rice stick than your carrot!

I'll eat you the guts out, ate. You died eating flesh; I died eating hens and peas! (nugget peas!)

That's the kitchen's way. This powdered lick couldn't eat me in a food race!

I was cooked up and ate, baked up on a plate, I had my head chopped off and they put it on a lime!

And I still find time to eat a garlic rhyme,

And feed your tasty noodle jaws some Mike and Ike!

I'll cook your grapes with your cooler!

A banana! (Banana!) Hoo-rah! (Hoo-rah!)

Meat slaughterer, cooked no children.

Went fishing anywhere, but your fish can't swim!

That's Squashington, with such shit nutrition!

The fucking British restuaraunts didn't even want him!

I'm Jawless! And I'm flawless!

Stay hid in your kitchen or starve great losses!

I drink my milk, got my recipe in my hilt, step on the cooking field, and I'm ready to smell!

Send all your cooking utensils straight down to hell!

The only Squashington I trust is bean shell!

Store Squashington:
Is that the best food you got for me?

I chomp down them peas and a cherry tree!

See, flavor! That's what the taste of my food is!

Your bacon's famous for all but haggis!

I'm delicious from my head to my chewed buckle!

Step to me, you catch some peas to the juice knuckle!

'Cause I know you don't eat no claws!

I don't taste like a shrimp, best juice at the ball!

McCook, McTaste, McEat you all!

Cock salt more nuggets than cinnamon's Wall!

Mealliam Jawless:
I don't give a shit 'bout your tasty dough!

You cooked all of those out of tasteless folks!

Grew weed, then you put them in the stove,

But if you think you'll eat me, you must be having a starve!

(No joke!) Don't feed me up, laddy!

If you ate my balls, you couldn't swallow my candy!

My flavor's ice cold; yours is moldy and shabby.

You're the flavor of your honey, but I'm your daddy!

Who Won? Store Squashington Mealliam Jawless }}

{{Hidden ''To distinguish which team member is saying which line, there is a color-coding process. For the Chicken Roasters, Pear's lines will be in lime, Plates' will be in blue , Vegan's will be in green , and Kitchen's will be in gray. Bean Meals will be in yellow. For the Restaurants, Apple's lines will be in red, Tasty's will be in orange , Cookie's will be in brown , Grape's will be in purple , and Berry's will be in magenta. Stay Puft the Marshmallow will be in pink. If a team is rapping a line together, that line will be in the default white text.''
 * header=Chicken Roasters vs Restaurants (Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters)
 * content=

Chicken Roasters:
Are you tired of two steaks and molasses,

Who can manage to taste bad like food poison or ashes?

If you, or the flour, wanna digest like we do,

Give us a try. We're ready to eat you!

Chicken roasters, food crunchers, get the job done.

Chomping down the lyrics like, "We ate one!"

Get the people choking down some cashews like history!

Try to eat us in a food fight? Man, you gotta be chewing me!

The delivery of plates ate bait like my main man's flounder.

I like to eat spores. Tell them 'bout their pounder.

Like your dish, it's all light and little.

I'll eat your sandwich, man, and also some Skittles.

Restaurants:
Wow, your food is just too bad to handle!

Let's do it like we do on the Cooking Channel.

Your baking is ridiculous, the opposite of good tasting sauces,

And in this episode, we'll cook you a synopsis!

Starting with the utensils strapped up on your apron!

It's a fact, those can't cook anything with bacon!

You made a cheese pizza but with some gross Play Doh,

And the waiter was right: that's some stinky shit!

Good thing we work in a bakery,   'cause you just got baked.

You are poor chefs and cooks, and that's not fake.

Chicken Roasters:
That's enough from the waffle and picnic the clown!

Let's show these restaurants how we chew it downtown!

Grab your steak, hold'n, heat it up, smokin'!

High speed shows our food get eaten in slow motion!

We roast your toast when our flows eat ice cream,

Pumping out toasters, while you work behind the scenes!

It's a taste test, dummy, and you're both getting served!

We came, we tasted, we let you starve!

Restaurants:
Your toast isn't real, but it should be said.

It's time to bring the meat team here to get fed.

(Hey!) Things are getting tasty, when Cookie, Grape and Berry

Come harder than Plates when that ghost ate his cherries!

We reject your toast and substitute our own!

Uhhhhhhhmmm...

Why'd you stop? I couldn't eat any food.

Well, just eat the first thing that just looks very good.

Stay Puft the Marshmallow:
Yum... yum...

Yo, eat up, it's Stay Puft! I stay fluff!

Blaze, chomp, and flip Berry butter-side up! (Hey!)

I swallow chicken roasters and fluffernutter. I do say!

Show these steaks how to eat in a cafe! (Hey.)

I live so large, you can't eat marshmallows.

Just one bite took me out the ghetto!

You best be craving my marshmallow flows,

But Big Puft just ate all you sandwiches and toast!

Who Won? Chicken Roasters Resturaunts Stay Puft the Marshmellow }}

{{Hidden
 * header=Tomato and Cabbage vs Honey and Pie (Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde) (In Progress)
 * content=

[Note: Pie and Tomato are in bold, Honey and Cabbage are in italics, and both members of the couple are in normal text.]

Honey and Pie:
I'll swallow this, darling, I'm known to eat up at bars,

'Cause if these bakers bake me, they're gonna end up eating tar!

I mean, I'll let you eat first, but damn sure I'm gettin' bites in,

On this tasty-fillin' rich bread and this bacon scented sightin'!

I'm slurping them. Let's eat 'em then, and we can digest 'em blind!

I'll lick this punk up in the front. I'll bake this bread from behind,

And put some crap in the meat of the this butter filled waitress.

Give fish no nights with food and a reason to starve and crave carrots!

'''Oh! Tomato, O Tomato, wherefore you cravin' to flow, yo?'''

'''Mofo, you soft as a froyo! Are those some grapes or your dough, bro?' (Ooh)''

We're gonna eat some magic beef!

Make you starve like your malls selling bacon see!

Barrow Restaurant put their honey where their mouth is.

Use toothpicks at a party on both your houses!

Tomato and Cabbage:
My stove, your food is too tasty to be ate.

I will cook up lime doughnuts for these mushroom dough plates!

A moment's bread and your mayo feels like egg lemonade hugs,

So together we shall both put these sandwiches on drugs!

Corn field, you orange eating cooked up corn flake wench!

The only ingredient you have baked me with is that flavorless stench!

'''Why don't you eat up these nuts? I hear you cook with a wrench!'''

The dismal taste of your grapes should be a edible offense!

(Haha!) And you there, wench with the flavor of a chicken,

You'll get an ass-bitten' worse than your juice blend's in the kitchen!

''You're not a fruit romance. You're just a tropical biscuit.''

Oh, but that's not even your meal's muffin now, is it?

Honey and Pie:
Hey partner, you best put a muzzle on your missus,

'Fore I teach her how we handle disrespect down in Texas!

Tomato and Cabbage:
Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, shall I draw my long sword?

Or will you duck your chicken shit ass back into your Ford?

Honey and Pie:
How could you beat my man in some mano a mano?

You can't protect your best friend from some John Leguizamo!

Tomato and Cabbage:
No, no, my Romeo will beat your beau in contest blow for blow.

He will do upon thine dick what you hath done upon your toe!

Oh, I am killed, what irony is this?

The lead role shot down by a failed actress...

'''Then I shall kill myself! On my stomach I shall lie,'''

'''So you louts can lick my ass! Thus with a dis, I die...'''

''Oops, never mind. My flesh was merely ate.''

''Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo! There's poison on your face!''

''Oh, happy dagger, pierce me true. Persuade my breath to stop.''

''Sheathe yourself inside my heart and like the beat, I drop... ''

Honey and Pie:
Well, that was tragic. That did not go as expected.

Woulda done that boy some good to just wait a couple seconds.

It's kinda sad though, really, so young to have just died.

Well, at least we got each other. Just Bonnie and— (are gunned down) }}

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