Talk:Epic Rap Battles of History 59/@comment-24322797-20160326044318/@comment-25317959-20160326062755

More for my own benefit of mapping it out somewhere other than my mind I'm gonna do a good bad and ugly

The good.

Strong performances by Gal and Affleck, who did wayyyyyyyyy better than I gave him credit for in the trailers.

The action was hard hitting and fast paced without ever looking too CGI-y, except for doomsday (oh, we'll get to that!)

The story was told well enough, actually pretty damn impressive seeing as how this was basically DC trying to do in one movie what marvel took 5 to do.

The bad.

To quote Egoraptor: Fuck Jessie Eisenberg man. He was unbearable, the lego video game version of lex is less of a fucking joke! It's like if you took heath ledger's joker, sandblasted off the psychotic charm and nihilistic dry wit, and beat his edge off with the annoying hammer!

What is it with these movies and not being good at symbolism? Between man of steel and this, I think they've hinted superman is Jesus more that the bible hinted Jesus was Jesus. I mean... JESUS!

Without wishing to spoil, another hero that isn't one of the big three has a cameo somewhere around the middle of the movie, and it's one of the most slapdashed things I've ever fucking seen. It's like if Nick Fury ran in when Tony Stark was trapped in that cave naked, punched Tony in the dick, yelled about chicken fried steak, and rode away on a giant bald eagle. All the set up the justice league stuff could've been done better IMO.

The ugly.


 * ahem*

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE DOOMSDAY THAT WAS ONE OF THE COOLEST DESIGNED CHARACTERS DC COMICS EVER CREATED? Yeah, this was one ugly motherfucker, and not in the badass predator way. He looks like the twin of that Lord of the rings troll, and I mean like Arnold Schwarzenegger Danny DeVito twins. Doomsday is the DeVito, doomsday sound never be the DeVito! I did not like the villains in this at all, I think I hated them more than Bruce and Clark could've hope to!

With all of this in mind, 3.25 out of 5 stars. This was the equivalent of a high school stoner turning in an actually coherent essay that actually tries to hit on some major themes. Surprisingly good given where it came from, but there's much better made by more consistent and talented people. And besides, at the end of the day the person who made this one only really cares about the green stuff.

See what I did there? No? Ok ;-;