User blog:Awesomesix/ERB Contestants Battle to the Death

This was inspired by the chain from the comments of Epic Rap Battles of History 52. Basically, all rappers in an ERB ever are pit up against each other in an arena to the death.

Rules

 * The only weapons allows are those seen in battle, and their own physical capabilities.
 * For example, no armies for Stalin, Hitler, etc., but Mercury can use his microphone stand, Babe Ruth his baseball bat, et cetera.
 * As well as this, Gandhi and Tesla can use their fire breathing and electricity conducting abilities shown in battle.
 * Anything specifically belonging to a person in their location is allowed for fighting (the DeLorean is allowed ((but is not allowed to time travel)), Speilberg's t-rex, etc).
 * The only exception to this is the TARDIS, as it was Doctor Who's background itself, and time traveling would make the fight too unfair.
 * Everyone with a gun is allowed 6 spare reloads. Kim Jong-Il's rocket launcher has 6 spare rockets.
 * Doctor Who is condensed into one participant and cannot regenerate.
 * Lyrics will not be counted for moves (etc., no one can defend themselves from Hitchcock "once he presents").
 * Quentin Tarantino and Bonnie & Clyde are allowed their car due to Doc Brown being allowed his DeLorean. As well as this, Napoleon Bonaparte is granted his horse, Wright Brothers their plane, Napoleon Dynamite his liger, Michael Bay his helicopter, Abe Lincoln his eagle, and Speilberg his tyrannasaurus rex.
 * People are allowed to pick up discarded weapons and use corpses as shields.
 * Every person with no listed weapons has "Default Human Fighting Capabilities" as their only choice, other than above mentioned foraging.

Waves
A wave in this is basically a period of time when people are wiped out en masse. This is divided up based on weaponry.

Wave One
Most people if not all without a weapon are wiped out here. For example, Stephen King, Ellen DeGeneres, and John Lennon are finished off here. People like Michael Jordan, Freddie Mercury, and Elvis Presley, with makeshift weapons die here if not in wave two.

Wave Two
People with more makeshift weapons, such as Mozart with his cello, Beethoven with his piano, are wiped out here. People such as Lance Armstrong, with his bike, may make it a bit longer but won't last into the next mass finishing. By now, the fate of most fighters lies on Steven Speilberg's t-rex and Kim Jong-Il's rockets.

Wave Three
At this point, more people trained in combat, such as Leonidas, WIlliam Wallace, and Bruce Lee are wiped out. Bruce Lee lasts this long only if he manages to outsmart and outmove people such as Al Capone, Blackbeard, et cetera. If Kim Jong-Il is still around, he is most likely out of rockets, and the everyday person's fate depends on the more stronger opponents such as the gods, Goku, and Superman.

Wave Four
At this point, even people like Al Capone, Doc Brown, Steven Speilberg, and the Wright Brothers are out the door, making room for the strongest. Nikola Tesla, if he lasts this long, is either dead or soon to be out.

Wave Five
The strongest six or so (Gandalf, Dumbledore, Goku, Superman, Zeus, Thor, give or take) are left to kill each other off and win. Superman and Goku most likely make the final four, while Zeus is a most likely winner.

Fighters
I made this section primarily to debate individual fighters.

Abraham Lincoln
Weapons: Giant eagle, spear-tipped axe

Strengths: With his eagle, Lincoln can soar above everyone and wait out the majority, or decide to suicide bomb everyone. He can also let his bird shit on everything. Even if he loses his bird, say he manages to survive, he has a spear-tipped axe (Vader vs Hitler 3) that he can fend himself with for a short time.

Best Case Scenario: Lincoln flies away high enough and fast enough to wait out the regular humans below, then moves in to finish off those left. He can also use his eagle to swoop in and pick up/drop, stab, or otherwise injure fighters while managing to stay out of harm's way.

Worst Case Scenario: Lincoln's eagle (and possibly him) are killed by Superman, Goku, or someone who can fly, or by Kim's rockets. Also, someone like Eastwood, Capone, and Clyde could snipe Lincoln from afar.

Possibility of lasting half way: Possible

Kim Jong-Il
Weapons: Rocket launcher

Strengths: A rocket from one of these can at the least deafen someone at close range. It can also destroy limbs, heads, torsos, and even whole bodies if aimed right. However, due to the fact that Kim only has 6 spare, he has to be resourceful on when he uses them, and is vulnerable to being targetted because of immense power and being a weak human otherwise.

Best Case Scenario: Everyone fights in big groups, allowing Kim to severly injure multiple hoardes at once, leaving him with the larger targets and superhumen left.

Worst Case Scenario: Kim Jong-Il gets trigger happy and wastes his rockets on larger topics like Lincoln's eagle or cars, leaving his weaponless in seconds flat. Or, he is murdered early on.

Possibility of lasting half way: Possible

Wright Brothers
Weapons: Plane

Strengths: The plane isn't much other than dive bombing, as it doesn't have an engine to keep it afloat, and taking off in it would put you in serious harm. Along with large attacks from the more powerful opponents, you're practically a walking goose.

Best Case Scenario: Their plane takes off, and they survive for a measly minute before it's shot down or they land right into a rocket launcher.

Worst Case Scenario: Anyone with any superpowers hits the plane and them before they manage flight.

Possibility of lasting half way: Almost Impossible

Rick Grimes
Weapons: Revolver

Strengths: Being very survival-instinct, Rick can not only last longer than others using his mind, but would probably be one of the only if not the only to go for dropped weapons. However, like most contestants, he is limited by basic human capabilities.

Best Case Scenario: He is able to last through the first two major massacres, and gather enough dropped weapons to fend off people such as Al Capone and Nikola Tesla.

Worst Case Scenario: He dies too early due to not using his instincts.

Possibility of lasting half way: Possible

Ghostbusters
Weapons: Basic Ghostbuster equiptment (Capture units, proton packs, etc.)

Strengths: The most they can do is eliminate some of the hugest threats, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and Yet to Come. Other than that, they're rather defensless and weak without destroying the universe and losing by default.

Best Case Scenario: The Ghostbusters capture Yet to Come and Stay Puft, and beat the shit out of everyone with their proton packs.

Worst Case Scenario: The Ghostbusters are killed off too early and Stay Puft and YTC kill everyone. Good job, guys.

Possibility of lasting half way: Unlikely

Jack the Ripper
Weapons: Knife

Strengths: Jack the Ripper, despite being an notorious serial killer, is rather poor off, as he has a knife versus Master Chief, Goku, Al Capone, and even people with unconventional weapons, such as Mozart with a cello, and Miley Cyrus with her sledgehammer, which reach further and can crush someone's skull.

Best Case Scenario: Jack the Ripper manages to paralyze a few unsuspecting people before a really powerful person manages to wipe him out.

Worst Case Scenario: Anyone with a bigger weapon gets to him in the First Wave.

Possibility of lasting half way: Unlikely

Hannibal Lecter
Weapons: Dolley

Strengths: Again, despite being a notorious murderer, he has no actual weapons aside from maybe his dolley, which won't do well against a rocket or even function as transportation on the same level as a bike or a car. Other than eating the deceased, which even then he isn't Popeye and gains strength immediately from dinner, he won't have much luck.

Best Case Scenario: His dolley manages to crush someone before he's killed off first wave.

Worst Case Scenario: He dies before he even begins to think of eating anyone.

Possibility of lasting half way: Almost impossible

Comment below what you think. I'll add as more people are suggested and reasoned.