User blog:Mothmancha/URBoF 31- Hannibal Lecter vs Jeff the Killer

So now that I'm here I shall be sporadically posting my Uber Rap Battles of Fiction, in a bit of an awkward order as to not blog spam. I am starting with Season 3, the current season, and continuting from that to Season 1, then 2, with any new Season 3 battles inserted along the way, approximately one new update every 2/3 days. Keep in mind many of these are old battles (I'll post written at dates so yeah, the new ones will be much higher quality.)

In the season premiere of the third season of URBoF, the incarcerated cannibal Hannibal Lecter faces off against one of the most famous creepypastas ever, Jeff the Killer, to see who is more ruthless--who is the better murderer. Let's get started.

The entire battle was written by me and Epic Doctor X. I did the animations and rapped for Jeff the Killer, and AccordionChick (not a wiki person I think) rapped for Lecter.

Rap Explanations
===Hannibal 1: ===

'''Good evening, please. You’re about to get smeared.'''


 * Reference to the Lecter Quote, from Silence of the Lambs, "Good evening, Clarice. Your makeup appears smeared."

It’s something worthwhile to do, I’ve been stuck in this cell for years


 * General line--he's been in prison for years, until he escapes, that is.

Put some lotion on your skin, and then get ready to be killed


 * Jeff the Killer, as you may well know, was created when Jeff's face was burned pure white. So leathery skin.

And captured like Dolarhyde and that funny Buffalo Bill


 * Francis Dolarhyde is the antagonist of Red Dragon, and Buffalo Bill the antagonist of Silence of the Lambs, both Lecter books.

These lines are music to my ears, I’m a real organ grinder


 * Pun here-- organ grinders make music on the street sides (those guys with the monkeys sometimes) and Lecter also is a cannibal-- so he both is a music maker AND an organ grinder. GEDDIT?

'''I'm dangerous! Let this mask on my face be a subtle reminder'''


 * Straightforward-- Lecter wears his muzzle or else he might attempt to bite you.

I may be a jailbird, boy, but please don’t call me uncouth


 * Lecter despises rudeness, and is a jailbird, yeah.

Because really, who would think I could be bested by a youth?
 * Jeff the killer is what, 10? 11? Yeah.

===Jeff the Killer 1: ===

Why don’t you smile, Dr. Lecter, for I don’t mean to be rude


 * Jeff loves to smile--which is why he slit his mouth so he could do it constantly. And again, Lecter hates rudeness.

But you’re afraid of yourself, aren’t you, and right now you’re screwed


 * Straightforward line here.

Don’t lie to me, mister, or you’ll be seeing true carnage


 * Jeff killed his parents for "lying to him."

For this Lithuanian maniac would better belong in Carthage


 * A historical joke. Hah. Hannibal is Lithuanian, and this line references the ancient Hannibal.

'''You like Chianti and beans? What about vodka and bleach?'''


 * Lecter reportedly ate a man's liver with a "nice Chianti and some beans." Jeff's face was burned, in turn, with vodka and bleach.

Metaphorically bagged and tagged, what a figure of speech!

'''
 * Body-bag-in-morgue joke. Aka he'll die.'''

This psychotic psychologist should know I’m the better kidney baker


 * Lecter WAS a psychologist, and that's how he manipulates people. Another cannibal joke as well.

I’ll slice you up into a meal and you’ll Mischa maker
 * My favorite line, personally. Mischa was Hannibal's sister, and she was cannibalized by some men while a child with her brother. Lecter hunted all of them down and ate them, in turn.

===Hannibal 2: ===

Jeff’s unoriginal, how typical to use just a knife to fight


 * Jeff uses a knife, a bit cliche, right?

You’re defenestrated, disemboweled, and made my dinner tonight


 * Blah. Blah. Blah. He's a cannibal.

How does some pasta sound, almost as creepy as can be?


 * Some... creepypasta... to go with the main course of Jeff?

Just bus-stop it right there and take a good look at me!


 * Jeff was bullied by a group of kids at a bus stop, starting the chain of events leading to his insanity.

Formalda-hide under your covers--I’m both ruthless and smart


 * Formaldahyde was also used during Jeff's transformation.

So in Liu of these events I’ll have to rip out your heart!


 * Liu is Jeff's brother. 

I wouldn't spit another diss at this killer if I were you


 * Generic like a Great Value can of corns.

Hear this tongue slither as I fix up liver number two
 * Lecter's known for a tounge slither... thshsthshts. Also, reference to the Chianti line.

===Jeff the Killer 2: ===

This Lecter needs a lecture before I turn him into a spectre


 * Generic for use of wordplay.

'''You’ll never have a woman. When you get hungry you’ll digest her'''


 * aka you'll never have a girlfriend because you'll eat her

'''I’ll be butchered like Momund? Well isn’t that nice?'''


 * Momund, a butcher, is one of the men Hannibal took revenge on.

Your blood will be red like a dragon when you meet my knife

'''
 * Reference to the Lecter Book, Red Dragon.'''

Which will splatter and spatter my white hoodie with hemoglobin


 * Jeff's known for his white hoodie. Hemoglobin = blood.

and I Will leave you on the floor like a single Graham cracker, broken

'''
 * Reference to Will Graham, Lecter's enemy.'''

It’s getting dark outside and I don’t want to be a creep

'''
 * Setup for next line.'''

But silence, little lamb, and go to sleep!
 * Reference to Silence of the Lambs and Jeff's catchphrase, "GO TO SLEEP!"

Trivia and Etcetera
to be updated when it's not 1:25 AM

Also, I'd appreciate help with the box thingy at the bottom that I can list all my battles in? Is that a template? Also, how do I make a poll? D: