User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Zalgo vs Cthulhu - The Last Epic Rat Battles of Horror (Season 2 Finale)

HELLO EVERYBODY AND WELCOME TO THE EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORROR SEASON 2 FINALE! Season 2's final battle that puts the Epic in the series title comes from Dragonsblood23 and John.Mitchell, that one Decent Rap Duels of Creepypasta guy. Anyways, along with the tons of special talented guests on this one, this battle has been in the making since prior to Chris Walker vs Nemesis. It features the dreaded elder god and sea monster, Cthulhu, rising from eternal slumber once more to trade blows with the all-powerful demon lord of Creepypasta and He Who Waits Behind The Wall himself, Zalgo! But they aren't the only ones wanting to take the giant demon monster crown. Special thanks to Coupe as always for his amazing title cards, knowing how many there were to make for this one. Without further babbling, I'll allow you to say goodbye to Season 2 and the Epic Rat Battles of Horror (yeah right) with this truly monstrous finale!... excuse the pun.

Key
Can't exactly make a casting for this battle, but here's the key for who played who -

Patts9009 as Cthulhu

Jake MultiSuperVids as Zalgo

Joeaikman as ???

TKandMit as ???

Me as ???

Instrumental - '''A bunch of compiled ones. So I ripped off Coupe (as always <3) and made a video compiling them all. Leave my YouTube channel alone.'''



Introduction
Announcer: (0:03)

EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORRORRRRRRRR...

VS!

BEGIN!

The Battle
Cthulhu: (0:11)

With a scaly body, claws on hind and fore feet, and long wings behind

and an octopus-like head- I’m a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline.

And it looks like I’ve been called upon to face the one Behind some Wall.

Face it kid, you’re like the Unwanted Houseguest creeping the halls.

I spread fear through all, you can only affect comics and cartoons,

I think it’d be easier for you to face the Creature from the Black Lagoon,

Because you’re denying the defeat from the undying monster,

that will drown all your followers supporting this English impostor

You better stay on Alert tonight, I’m going on another murder trip;

I wouldn’t doubt you have a Hive-mind; that’s how you Buzz the strip.

But to think you’re able to qualify as Scary? I Rule that realm!

You’re just another weird tale the Great Old One overwhelms.

Zalgo: (0:40)

The godly blackened knight of the night's slaying this dragon-fairy,

He Comes a second time, you might start to wish he was imaginary!

Cloocloo? It's beyond cuckoo anyone fears something like you!

This Ood hasn't a clue, such a costume-look, I expected it to yell "Boo!"

Making a chimera's era drop faster than Boxxy's face begins to rust,

Creepypasta's top deity while your so called Loved-craft collects dust!

A mysterious virus spreading, that no mortal can quite clarify,

While your legacy's a Scribblenauts character, I'm so terrified!

Implanted over the webs, omnipresent in your sins,

And I'll disgrace this derelict fish worse than Derleth did!

A creature you shouldn't be brawling, I hope that knowledge is dawning,

Scurry back away, Squidward, I believe the Krusty Krab is calling!

(As Zalgo and Cthulhu stare each other down, a large typhoon brews up behind Cthulhu. The waters become more and more unsteady, until arises a new monster...

THE KRAKEN!)

The Kraken: (1:25)

I spit the deep, cold rhymes, you can never beat it

Because I am the Kraken, and it's time to release this

Even with seven mouths you spit worse raps than me

Ripping apart your mythos, and sinking your shitty meme

Hide behind your wall, I'm the most badass monster of all

Causing Ragnarok, at my suckers the world will fall

With tentacles flailing, I'm seeing Cthulhu’s cult failing

And Zalgo left wailing, these amateur monsters need taming

Lovecraft heard of my tales and ripped off my portrayal

I’m so monstrous and ominous, I even make Vikings go pale

Boiling up a creepypasta, serving Cthulhu with my attacks

I've just taken you down quicker than your D&D Expansion pack

(As the Kraken finishes rapping, the city in the background starts to crumble away. Screams are heard, and the smoke clears to reveal...

'THE STAY PUFT MARSHMELLOWMAN...? '''...um... okay?)''

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man: (2:07)

Aww, I’m the first thing on everyone’s minds. Bustin’ out sugar filled rhymes

Cthulhu and Kraken crackin’ lies; tentacle hentai and how the end is nigh

Everybody knows me, not you overseas wannabes

And Zalgo? Who wants to see a comic bleed from Know Ya Meme?

And I can’t understand what you’re saying with your fucked up font

Y’all are octopussies and creepypastas, I’m one who haunts!

Soft Squeeze, ya monsters lost to me, I got a ghost posse!

I’m rocking and tossing these bitches back to mythologies!

Zalgo, oh no, go ahead and sing your song, you’re scared of my raps!

Last and least, Krak’s on crack, to Valhalla with your seafood ass!

None of you stand a chance; there are no fools; only Zuul!

Y’all are tools! Go back to the pool! I’m the spookiest ghoul!

(As The Stay Puft Marshmellow Man finishes rapping, the skies darken. The entire world is thrown into blackness, as red swirls accumulate in the sky to reveal...



GIYGAS!)

Giygas: (2:54)

Hello… all… I’ve come to bring an end through

This tentacle beast dude and his giant squid friend, too

A sticky heap of whip cream on two legs leaves nothing desired,

While the Great Old One’s outdated, and would be better off retired

I'll dispose of a hoax and watch you blokes try to spit back

But you jokes can't grasp the true form of Giygas's raps

Forked tongue curling out of lips to reveal you’re all hopeless,

Serve up two dishes of calamari and leave Marshmallow Man toasted

Read the signs, Faux Satan, and you’ll soon see that they foretell,

That you can say your farewells, take your troops and Zal-go to Hell

Take your pricks and your proxxies, and leave you in a scarred field,

Since the worst thing you've ever done was ruin Garfield,

I am the Evil Power, but you’re all fit to be nothing but my slaves,

But there is no need for your existence, you’re EarthBound to your graves

Think you can bring me pain? You must be misunderstood

I shut you all down in this game, and I... feel... good…

Announcer: (1:23)

WHO WON?

YOU DECIDE!

'''EPIC RAT... BATTLES... OF... HORROR!'''

Outro
Who Won? Cthulhu Zalgo The Kraken Stay Puft Marshmellow Man Giygas

'''Ending Note: Thank you SO MUCH to everybody who has followed along and read the series so far, for helping with suggestions and to everybody who has helped with guest writing. I love you all!'''

'''And in case you're wondering, no, this isn't the final Horror battle. There's a lot more coming :p'''