User blog:TKandMit/X-Files vs Men in Black. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 4 Premiere

"Season Four is set to premiere... sometime. Details coming soon. Maybe in May, or something like that?"

- TKandMit

lol.

Hey yo so the rap show is back, whoa. Matter of fact, though, Flats knows that no one could go without him in HaV, so, he guested in this battle that's been pretty heavily suggested for the series since like the beginning. Neo being pretty much its only suggester, but nevertheless. It's the Men in Black, Agents K and J, battling with Fox Mulder and Dana Scully from the X-Files in a fight about aliens, and shit.

It's been like three months since the last HaV anything was posted, but here's finally something. Next battle will come out next week too, but after that I don't know what. So, yeah, be patient I guess.

Enjoy the battle. Thanks again, Flats, for guesting as always.

Cast
Nice Peter as Fox Mulder

Mary Doodles as Dana Scully

EpicLLOYD as Agent K

Alphacat as Agent J

Introduction
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HEROES AND VILLAINS!



VERSUS!



BEGIN!

Men in Black:
“Here come the Men In Black?” C’mon, they won’t remember that!

Whatever. Excuse me, sir and madam, Earth has never been attacked

By extraterrestrials, so there’s no need to have a debate--

Wait, Kay, look at the scanner! She’s one of them! Huh, okay. Play the tape:

So stop! This former cop’s gonna stomp you like a cockroach!

Good thing the agnostic knows there’s no Gods in the cosmos,

It’s just full of plot holes; a conspiracy won’t make Fox news!

You think the FBI has an eye on us, but we always watch you.

We do this for the goodness of humans, you were assigned to this!

And your skills aren’t ill, they mean precisely dick!

Someone call the worms, tell ‘em they can do some dirty work,

You should really stop seeing E.T., there’s other-worldly things on Earth

Mulder and Scully:
Scully? It’s me. You’re not gonna believe this,

Turner and Hooch found some suits and think they can defeat us?

But here’s the scoop; My clues have pointed to where these two work,

Let’s take the case. We’ll prove you’re fake, ‘cause the Truth hurts!

You’re better off at childbirth than X-Files work; And the worse news,

Is that we already fought the Men in Black, and they weren’t you!

Think some talk of creepy bugs and speaking pugs can stump me?

After that last quest with Vasquez, these Stooges are better suited for Jump Street!

As a medical doctor, I’m putting this geezer on permanent sick leave.

At your age, the only Stones you’ll be Rolling’s in your kidney!

So pretend my lines are mind-wiping slime and get them through your cranium,

Your gadgets are made of plastic, and there’s no such thing as aliens!

Men in Black:
What we got here, Kay? Oh, just over-boastful antisocials

And their message that they’re sending makes me wanna go postal!

But their homework’s probably got them running in crop circles,

Always pursuing the truth, but Aliens Attack at Universal!

And Scully mind’s the thickest, she didn’t even believe in it!

Even with her alien visit, the audience turned to noisy crickets!

Mulder and Scully:
It’s no wonder why working there put you in a coma; tired much?

And after hearing those raps? It’s fitting that you guys got flushed.

Why don’t you run off again, Kay? ‘Cause this agent really took an L,

When all other authorized personnel really weren’t doing well!

Looking to the stars when the answer was right in front of you,

Like the answer to Jay’s past, when Kay was watching over you!

Men in Black:
Is that all, Slick? I Want to Believe they can do better than that.

They’re probably ballchinians; hey Fox, where your porno mags at?

The better question is where his sister disappeared to,

And his dad planned it and Syndicated the mystery too!

Sure, I took some time off, just to come in and save everything

While you two couldn’t even save your marriage from separating!

Press the red button, kid, and we’ll take it to high gear

So finally, do me a quick favor and look right here...

Mulder and Scully:
Shield your eyes! *Flash* Is your memory at ease still?

Unfortunately so, I still can’t unsee their sequel.

But do you see what this means, Scully? It’s a media bombshell,

The truth is out there. This party’s getting crashed like Roswell!

The government denies knowledge! It’d be us verse the nation...

One that seeks information containment and brainwashes their agents?!

Men, enjoy your enslavement, or give the choice some forethought,

But your corruption just got busted, believe it or not!

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HEROES AND VILLAINS!

Who won? Men in Black Mulder and Scully

Hints: Decoded
A tweet by J.K. Rowling: J.K. Rowling's first part of her pen name is "J.K.", alluding to Agents J and K of Men in Black. The tweet itself ends with the letter X, referencing the X-Files.

X Gon Give It To Ya: Literally just "X", referencing the X-Files.