User blog comment:DennisRocking/Overwatch Rap Battles Season 1 Premiere: Torbjörn VS I.M. Pei/@comment-31857282-20171124164251/@comment-29961628-20171124193941

apologies for not being able to elaborate more. I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean and was in intermission and just checked quickly. But for sure I can go into some of my reasonings and flaws.

Crosby/ya things doesn't rhyme and especially not in Torbjorn's light accent, I also have difficulty with baseless/foundation but that's easier to reconcile

I was rhyming the by in Crosby's name, which is prounounced as (be) with "thing", and was not necessarily meant to be a full on rhyme with the "ya", rather a segway into "thing." I was rhyming less with dation, which is not perfect, for sure. I was wanting to use these references and had went over in my mind and I wanted to present them in a way that was easy to understand.



Rhyming Torbjorn with Torbjorn makes sense as a reference but it left a sour taste in my mouth being the very first two lines, rather than later in the battle

Torbjorn was not meant to be the rhyme, rather "roaring with Torbjorn" and "war with Torbjorn". I.E taking his name and using the rhyme as roaring with > war with.



Mei pun was weak af and should have been excluded

eh, that's probably true, lol. I wanted to make a semi joke of how y'know, mei>pei. and I felt like it was quite a few Overwatch references in one to just flesh it out a bit more to not just be about Torbjorn, but about the game itself.



The last two lines should have been reworded for real savagery rather than more an outward concept

aye. i just liked the sound of the last two and felt it was very easy to understand but still pretty hard hitting and like "damn"



What does "broke blow" mean?

Also, whose not Who's, and you'll still not you've still, but ye. (Proof-read to fix these simple mistakes. It's important.)

yup gotcha there.



<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">Otherwise this battle was enjoyable, I liked Torbjorn's characterization.

<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">yeah i tried to make him kind of goofy like he is in the game, lol.

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<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">Could have done with more references to Pei's work rather than random puns to related things, but I understand why you made that choice.

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<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">hard to explain, but i semi did in the description. i wanted to focus a lot on the Overwatch side of things, if that makes sense. since the series is about the game, I really wanted to nail in that it was a lot about the people, rather then just bits and pieces of each character mixed with other things. obviously I reference Pei throughout the battle, but I didn't want to spend too much time on details of Pei that would go over the average viewer's head, so i went for a more basic approach to both characters. but yes, that is quite understandable.

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<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">Considering how broadly you focused on Overwatch (TF2 jokes, puns on characters besides Torbjorn) I'm not entirely sure that you'll be able to extend this series for super long without having to reuse those kinds of ideas, but I hope you do.

<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">haha, don't worry. to be fair, I wanted to make this first battle very Overwatch oriented and include a shit ton of Overwatch stuff. but yeah, I have big plans for the next few battles, and a lot to go on for the second battle, so I won't have to resort as much to puns or basic Overwatch stuff. With Torbjorn, he has limited stuff to go on but I really wanted to kind of make the premiere be a sort of "hi, this is an Overwatch series" type of deal.

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<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">but I'm glad you liked it, and I thank you for your criticism and checking it out. if you happen to have any more questions about the battle or what I've just said, let me know and I'd be happy to answer! i check back here regularly :D.

<p style="font-weight:400;color:rgb(170,170,170);font-size:14px;">also, I very much appreciate you taking the time to check it out! ^_^