User blog:Rob Tick/Useless Rap Battles 1: John Adams vs Archie Bunker

Yeah, so I've come home. Over these last months, I've taken some time off the wiki and taken in some recreational projects, which, I believe, improved my communication skills. I realized that making battles isn't about pleasing people, it's for the fun of it. Anyway, before I start, I'd like to have a personal chat with some of you guys, which I've listed below.

Trains/ILT
Trains, it's a pleasure to be with you on the wiki. We may not agree sometimes, but I hope we can come to a mature compromise.

Loyg/Barry
Loyg, thanks for sticking with me. You are a big influence on me and my battles, and a lot of people can agree with me when I say a lot of this wiki's culture wouldn't exist if you weren't here.

Mortal/Morty
Speaking of culture, I feel like you, Morty, were the reason I started making battles in the first place, and to make the Pop Culture rap battle series.

Bob/Jude
Jude, you're kind of the reason how I got a funny side of my battles. I remember that moment in December when I read Australia vs UK and I said, "I could have wrote that," and decided to join the wiki. Thank you for getting me started. You were one of the first people I met.

Sega/The Man Who Needs No Introduction
Sega, we may not like each other, like a lot of others on the wiki, but I see some improvement. I just hope you can focus on trying to please yourself, because always searching for the approval of others will hold you back.

Anyway, with that done, here's a new battle, straight from the Dank Factory!

Archie Bunker:
Honey I'm home! Don't kiss me, I'm in a rap battle!

*Edith kisses him*  (Laughter) Hear that? I lead the laugh cattle!

What about the rap cattle? I lead that too,

But soon, my wife Edith'll make some dinner outta you!

Father of the Navy? More like Father of the Belly!

You're so fat, your wife even called you His Rotundy!

(Heh!) You've lost some ground on this Bunker Hill,

If this bell end won't be stopped by Jefferson, this Iron Dog will!

John Adams:

Not so fast! This alcoholic freak can't defeat this diplomat!

You're a wife beater, but not a problem one at that!

What'd you expect, a kiss? Who do I look like, Sammy Davis?

You deserve jail for your crimes, meanwhile I don't deserve THIS!

Defeating this bastard will be easy as the Brits' asses,

Swiftly signing defeat, so you can read it without your glasses.

Bunker:

I don't want to go this far, but you forced me to the top!

First vice president? Well, that's just second fiddle, is it not?

You spent 7 years fighting a useless war, while I came home a veteran!

Why don't you stick to being a bigot with a violin?

Adams:

The racial oppressor plays the race card? Classic!

What's more surprising is you weren't fired when drafted!

You're just a sad, depressing Eric Cartman in his 50s,

Why don't you spend time with your family and lay off the cookies!

USELESS--
*insert stale meme here*