User blog:Wachowman/Wiki Tales: Borderlands ep6 (I Won't Stop)

Last Time on Wiki Tales
Wonder: was that supposed to happen?

(Screen shows half of the whole town is destroyed)

ROB: Nope!

Tiger: makes life...sorta easier I guess.

(Tiger pulls the trigger as a pistol bullet, a shotgun bullet, and an automatic bullet fly out)

Tachowman: aha-*gets shots by the pistol*

Oachowman: brin-*gets shot by the shotgun*

Lachowman: *gets shot by the automatic*

ROB: *transforms into a dumpster* H-h-h-h-h-e-e.

Tiger: shit!

ROB: *transforms back to normal* I-I-I-I-I-I-I n-n-eed h-e-e-elp.

Tiger: he's being controlled!

(ROB gives Tiger the Puppet Flute)

ROB: now run.

Joe: wait, we have the puppet flute, you're fine now right?

ROB:...no, the one you knew as ROB is gone...and I cannot hold this body for much longer, I wasn't made to be a Robot.

Tiger: no...

ROB: please, leave before I...or ROB...self destructs.

(ROB self destructs as the whole room in engulfed in blaze)

(Screen shows the group at the ground look up at the explosion)

Tiger:...ROB...Jagaur...

This Time
(Tiger is seen running through the Desert as the group chases)

Wonder: Tiger! C'mon there's better ways to do this!

Tiger:...

Joe: we can't stay out too late! The Bulleymogs would kill us for sure!

Tiger:...

Steeler: I'm getting tired stop fucking running!

Tiger:...

(Tiger continues to run as the group follows)

Steeler: *huff huff* I'm gunna collapse.

Joe: don't expect us to carry you.p

Steeler: I wouldn't want your hands on my body anyways.

Joe: the way you were acting back at CEs place I think you would.

Steeler: man fuck you!

Wonder: guys! This is probably the worse time for that!

Steeler: I get upset when I'm exhausted.

Joe: where do you think Tigers going?

Steeler: Iron Wrath maybe?

Wonder: we already passed Iron Wrath.

Joe: well we can't keep up much longer, I'm almost dead and Tiger looks like he can go for hours.

Wonder: we can't lose him.

Steeler: if ROB were here we could-

Joe: if ROB were here we wouldn't need to chase him.

Steeler: but we'd also be able to catch up to him.

Joe: Shut up Steeler.

(Tiger stops walking and looks into the sky)

Wonder: Tiger! We need to talk!

Tiger: I'm not talking until I'm there!

Wonder: where?!

(A voice is heard from the sky)

Man 1: I assume he means here.

(Tigers body starts to glow)

Steeler: what the-

(Tiger is then boosted up into the sky past the clouds)

Wonder: Tiger?!

Joe: how do we get him now?

Man 1: I got you.

(Wonder, Steeler and Joe start to glow)

Steeler: I feel this is gunna hurt.

Man 1: a little bit.

(The group is then boosted into the sky)

Joe: Ahhhhhh! *flies into a Rakk* gah! Fuck!

Steeler: holy shit! This is sweet!

Wonder: *hits another Rakk* ow! God damm- *hits another Rakk* what the fuck!

Steeler: this is so fucking awesome!

(Steeler starts flying slower as Wonder and Joe pass him)

Steeler: huh?

(Steeler starts to fall as Wonder and Joe continue to go up)

Steeler: No! No! What the fuuuuuu-

(Steelers voice gets too far away to hear)

Wonder: is he gunna be ok?

Joe: eh, he'll be fine.

(Screen shows Wonder and Joe stop flying as they step on some clouds)

Joe: holy shit the clouds hold us.

Wonder: where are we.

Tiger: guys.

(Screen shows Tiger a few feet away from Joe and Wonder)

Wonder: Tiger!

Joe: holy shit dude, are you ok? Where are we?

Tiger: this is The Dragons Light.

Wonder: what about Iron Wrath? We have the Puppet Flute.

Tiger: I'm not going back to Iron Wrath until I get ROB back!

Wonder: how do you expect to get him back?

Tiger: *holds up the object he got from ROB* with this.

Joe: what is it?

Tiger: ROBs memory chip, if I can put this into another body, ROB should be able to come back.

Wonder: and why are we here?

Tiger: Dragons Light is home to so,e of the smartest minds on Pandora, giver take they're all Dragons, but they still know what they're doing, besides, their leader owes me a favor.

Wonder: what are you doing now?

Tiger: he should be here soon.

Joe: who?

Man 1: me.

(A Dragon appears in front of the group)

Wonder: oh shit.

Tiger: Dragon! Been a while.

Dragon: indeed it has Tiger, oh, this is yours by the way.

(Screen shows Steeler on Dragons back)

Steeler: I think I broke my leg.

Dragon: sorry about that, my magic can only carry do much weight, your friends we're fine but you weighed over 300 pounds.

Steeler: it's the Minigun.

Joe: Steeler, that Minigun weighs maybe 70 pounds.

Steeler: ok and you weigh-shut the fuck up Joe!

Wonder: Steeler...he's right though shut up.

Dragon: here.

(Steelers leg starts to glow)

Steeler:...

(Steelers leg disappears)

Steeler: what the fuck!

Dragon: oops.

Joe: pfft.

Steeler: you fucking-yo! Bowser! give me back my fucking leg!

Dragon: let me try that again.

(Steeler starts to glow)

Steeler: I swear to god.

(Steelers leg appears back on his body)

Steeler: ohh...it feels better.

Dragon: there you go.

(Steeler gets off Dragons back)

Steeler: uh...thanks, I guess.

Dragon: my pleasure.

Tiger: Dragon.

Dragon: ah yes, why are you all here?

Tiger: ROB has died.

Dragon: oh dear, does that also mean-

Tiger: yes...Jags gone aswell.

Dragon: my condolences, so I assume you want another body for ROB, did you save his memory chip.

Tiger: *holds up the chip* first thing I thought of.

Dragon: I see...well, I'd love to help but-

Tiger: but what?

Dragon: do you remember The Burning Clan?

Tiger: those maniacs who wanted to bring Dragons Light to the ground? What about them?

Dragon: they attacked us, I made the mistake of letting one of them up, unknowing to me they had teleportation devices, we were able to survive but while fighting they had scouts stealing all our equipment, they took Science Blueprints, Computers, and Robot Bodies.

Wonder: all of them?

Dragon: all but one, and I can't separate with the one unless I have others to test.

Tiger: so you want us to get your shit back.

Dragon: I know, I usually never do this, I'd love to help but we need this equipment.

Joe: we don't get a break do we.

Dragon: I'm sorry, but we need someone to do this, and the people here aren't warriors, they're scientist.

Joe:...guys?

Wonder: Tiger...it's your call.

Tiger: we'll do it.

Steeler: dammit.

Joe: we'll get ROB back.

Steeler: but this isn't helping us get our money.

Tiger: you know, I can have him drop you down there again.

Steeler: actually, let's save ROB.

Tiger: Dragon, where are The Burning Clan located?

Dragon: I believe Sceptile and Burger should know the answer, I strictly made that their assignment, but it's been a while since I got an update.

Tiger: oh...Sceptile...

Steeler: dude, how do you know everybody.

Dragon: yes, I suggest being a little calm when you see him.

Tiger: I don't think I'm going to be the one yelling.

Wonder: wait what happened between you two?

Tiger: well...

(Screen shows the group and Dragon in a glass room with 2 other Men)

Man 1: oh shit! Look what the fucking cat brought in! Another pussy!

Tiger: hi Sceptile, hey Burger.

Burger: hi Tiger.

Sceptile: hi? You basically break my house give no support on building it back disappear for 8 months and all you have to say is hi?!

Steeler: huh, wow.

Tiger: on the bright side-

Sceptile: it's made of glass, remember? Everywhere's a bright side.

Tiger: Sceptile c'mon man, it wasn't like that.

Sceptile: it felt like shit having to live in Burgers house for 3 months, I need the light on my skin daily, and where does Burger live? Burger, tell them.

Burger: in a dark, dark house, I'm tired of telling everyone this fucking-

Sceptile: in a dark, dark house.

Dragon: Sceptile, enough.

Sceptile:...what is it you want anyways?

Dragon: have you found where the Burning Clan is located?

Sceptile: yeah, why.

Dragon: Tiger and his friends plan to get all of our stuff back.

Burger: all the equipment? How do you plan to bring it back?

Joe: shit he's right, you said there were computers, bodies, we can't carry all that.

Dragon: that's why Scpetile is going to lend over Metal.

Sceptile: what?

Dragon: you heard me.

Sceptile: like hell I'm letting these guys take care of Metal when they already lost ROB.

Tiger: if you mention ROB like that one more time I'll cut your fucking skin off and use it as an Ammo Purse.

Sceptile:...

Dragon: Sceptile, I'll ask you one more time, hand, Metal, over.

Sceptile:...y'know what, I'll go with them, I'm not separating from Metal.

Burger: what?

Tiger: what?

Sceptile: something the matter?

Tiger:...nope, it's fine.

Dragon: as long as Metal goes with the group, that's fine.

Steeler: uh...can you shoot a gun?

Sceptile: once we dragons reach the ground we grow more humanoid limbs.

Steeler:...can you shoot a gun?

Sceptile: don't need one.

Steeler:...*shrugs* ok then.

Dragon: I assume you're all ready to go.

Wonder: Tiger?

Tiger: I'm good...Scpetile?

Sceptile: don't worry about me.

Dragon: I assume you can take them to the base.

Sceptile: I can transport us there in 2 seconds.

Steeler: god, our life now is get a mission from some leader, teleport to enemy base, get the leaders shit, go back to leader so we can do more shit.

Tiger: welcome to fucking bounty hunting.

Sceptile: I can do this now.

Tiger: go.

Sceptile: keep my stuff safe Burger.

Burger: yeah yeah.

Sceptile: alright...

(The group starts to glow)

Sceptile: wow one of you has a lot of atoms to teleport.

(The group disappears except for Steelers legs)

Dragon:...

Burger:...

(Screen shows the group in front of a cave)

Steeler: you fucking lizard! Bring them back right now!

Sceptile: I assume it was you.

Steeler: fuck you! Bring back my fucking legs before I turn you into boots.

Sceptile: alright, alright.

(Steelers legs appear back on his body, but backwards)

Steeler: No!

Joe: I enjoy this.

Steeler: *stands up* I'll use your head as a-

(Steeler tries to walk towards Joe but ends up walking backwards)

Steeler: ahh!

(Steeler falls to the ground)

Sceptile: stop moving.

(Steelers legs appear back on his body the correct way)

Steeler: that's what I fucking thought.

Tiger: shut up Steeler, it's in here.

Sceptile: yep, they made their base in an abandoned cave.

Joe: how many will there be?

Sceptile: probably not a lot they have many bases, this is just the place where the stolen equipment was most likely located.

Wonder: well, let's hope for the best, let's go men.

Steeler: *whispers to Wonder* is this where the episode ends? That'd be a pretty shitty episode.

Wonder: *whispers to Steeler* I don't think so, that'd be way too cliché.

Joe: *whispers to both Steeler and Wonder* I think he made this one extra long cause of the one week delay.

Steeler oh sweet, alright guys! Let's cool down these Burners!

Man 1: not so fast!

Man 2: you can go no further!

(A huge burst of flames appear as the group is pushed back)

Joe: gah!

Steeler: fuck!

(2 men appear where the flames were)

Man 1: we shall give you one chance to leave, think of it as generous.

Man 2: Zdawg, we were ordered to kill them.

Zdawg: *whispering* yes but there's 5 of including a fucking Dragon think with arms and legs, I don't want to die, so let me handle this Torch.

Torch: fucking pathetic.

(Torch takes out molotovs)

Torch: you shall not leave!

'''TORCH! BURNING FURY'''

Zdawg: ahg fuck.

(Zdawg pulls out molotovs)

Zdawg: let's just kill them already

'''ZDAWG! THIS'LL BE THE DAY'''

(Zdawg throws a Molotov at the group)

Wonder: shit move!

(The group runs in different directions as the Molotov hits the ground)

Steeler: these mother fuckers!

(Steeler aims his Minigun)

Steeler: take my fucking fire-

(A Molotov is thrown at Steelers feet setting them on fire)

Steeler: Ah Fuck! Not the fucking feet!

Zdawg: there's no way this is going to be this easy.

Joe: it won't be.

(Screen shows Joe aiming at Zdawg and Torch from a few feet away)

Torch: Zdawg.

Zdawg: yeah I know.

(Zdawg and Torch disappear in a burst of flames)

Joe: what the fuck?

(Zdawg and Torch appear behind Joe)

Tiger: Joe! Behind you!

Joe: wha-

(Before Joe turns around his is smashed in the back of the head with a Molotov bottle)

Joe: ahg! *falls to the ground*

Torch: ahaha, it didn't even break.

Zdawg: that hurt more than any bullet you get hit with.

Sceptile: forget about me?

Zdawg: hm?

(Sceptile jumps on Zdawgs back)

Zdawg: gah! Get off me you fucking Gecko!

(Sceptile takes a bite out of Zdawgs neck)

Zdawg:...

Torch: Zdawg! Shit!

Joe: *gripping his head* holy shit.

Wonder: you fucking took a chunk out of his neck.

Tiger: that's Sceptile for you.

(Torch disappears in a burst of flames and reappears back in front of the cave)

Zdawg: *gripping his neck* To-r-hel-

(Zdawg falls to the ground)

Torch: you're going to regret th-

(Torch is then shot multiple times by Steelers Minigun)

Steeler: never aim for my fucking feet ever fucking again mother fucker! Ahhhhhh!

(Torch is still being shot by Steelers Minigun)

Tiger: Steeler.

(Still shooting)

Tiger: Steeler.

(Still shooting)

Tiger: Steeler!

Steeler: what!

Tiger: he's dead!

Steeler...*stops shooting*

Sceptile: *whips blood off his mouth* well then, Joe, is your head ok?

Joe: Yeah, yeah, I thought people at Dragons Light weren't fighters.

Sceptile: there's no fighting in biting someone's neck out.

Wonder: he has a point.

Tiger: guys, let's go.

Steeler: yeah, we need to-

(Steelers ECHO starts to ring)

Steeler: huh?

Steeler: *looks at his ECHO and sees TK*

TK: where the fuck are you guys?! CW has stated he still hasn't gotten his-

Steeler:...*hangs up* wrong number.

Wonder: alright, for the third fucking time, let's move.

(The group starts to walk into the cave as the screen goes black)

Steeler: oh come on! It's the same thing every fucking episode!

Next Time on Wiki Tales
Joe: guys, I see a room, it looks pretty big.

(A Man and A Woman are seen sliding down a stripper poll that's set on fire)

Steeler: what the hell am I seeing.

Woman 1: these boys are being naughty.

Man: don't worry baby, we can take them.

Tiger: Sceptile! Get Metal out!

Sceptile: already am!