User blog:TCalderon/Luigi vs Jack Skellington



See! I told you I would make battles that don't feature anime characters! But why this matchup, you may ask? Well, I wanted Jack in a battle, and I was feeling nostalgic for Luigi's Mansion. Plus Halloween is coming up, so why not a spooky battle for the occasion?

Either way, enjoy this rap battle between the Pumpkin King from Halloween Town, Jack Skellington, against the cowardly ghost hunter from the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi! In a battle between a monster and a man who catches monsters!... I wanted Jack in a battle, and I was feeling nostalgic for Luigi's Mansion. That's how this battle came to be.

Also, Intro! Yay!

Intro:

-

The Mario Brothers were tasked with inspecting some mysterious sounds that were occuring throughout the forests of the Mushroom Kingdom at night. It was late, and kinda eerie looking. This wasn't much for Mario. Forever the brave and noble hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, he was ready to take this obstacle (whatever it was) head on! Luigi, on the other hand, couldn't help but be frightened. After all, it could be anything making those strange noises! It could be Bowser hatching up a scheme. Or Wario setting up another prank. Or, Rosalina forbid, a rabid Smash Bros fan requesting for Goku! Either way, the Brothers were on the case!

"You-a say anything, brother?" said Mario, taking the lead.

"N-NO! J-just-a more trees and crickets all around!" said Luigi, clutching onto his Poultergust 9000.

"Hey-a, cheer up, Luigi! If-a something scary comes up, we'll-a just-a bash it's face in!" Mario said, readying his fist.

"Ooooh! But-a what if it's something really frightening! Unlike-a anything we've ever faced! Oh, Mamma Mia! I-a don't know if-a I can take it!"

Mario was growing annoyed with his brother's scaredy-cat nature, and put his hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"Like-a I said! We-a just have to be ready! After all, could it-a really be that bad?"

Just then, the two heard the noise! This time, however, it was a lot closer sounding. Almost as if it was coming towards the two. Within the bushes, they can barely make out what looked like some kind of monster.

"AUGH! MAMMA MIA!" Luigi hid behind his brother, clutching onto his Poltergust, and sweating in fear. And though Mario would hate to admit it... he was shaking in his boots too.

Suddenly, a large lanky creature crawled out of the bushes, look a spider. It was a strange looking specimen. It's limbs were long and lanky, and it appeared to be dressed in some kinda black suit. Before the brothers could process what it is, the creature slowly rises upright, with it's head hanging low. The creature was quite tall, towering above the two. Then, the spherical head of this monster slowly rises, but never fully revealing its face. That is, until he lets out a blood-curtling scream at the brothers!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" went the creature!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" screamed the Mario Brothers in unison! The shock in both of them was too much, and Mario eventually collapsed.

"M-MARIO!"

Without hesitation, Luigi goes down to his brother to see if he's still alive.

The creature, however, was quite... amused with himself. He giggles a bit, before assuming a more gentlemanly posture. Out of the bushes arrives three young monster children, who were hiding and watching the whole time.

"Wow!", said the pointy-nosed little girl, "That was awesome, Jack!"

"Yeah!", said the little boy in a devil costume, "You really are the scariest!"

"Eeheeheehee!" Laughed the Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington. "It's like I always say, kids! Life's no fun without a good scare!

Back with Luigi, he was putting his ear to his brother's chest to his heartbeat. Thankfully, Mario's heart was still beating, and he simply fainted.

"Phew", Luigi took a deep breath in relief, before angrily walking toward the creature who scared his brother. Said skeleton-man was still having a good chuckle with the three kids. Luigi didn't care; he simply wanted to give this guy a piece of his mind.

"Uh, Jack?", said the kid in the skeleton costume, "Looks like one of them is coming here!"

"Hmm?" Jack turned around to an angry Luigi. "Oh! You're still here! Heh, that certainly was a good little spook I give you and your friend there, hmm? Eeheeheehee! Ahh, no hard feelings, right?"

Luigi was absolutely furious at this point.

"No-a hard feelings?! You knocked out-a my brother, you BONEHEAD!"

"I did?" Jack looked behind Luigi, and saw Mario still knocked out. "Oh! I'm terribly sorry, sir! Guess I overdid it, a little.

"OVERDO THIS!" Luigi then shot a plunger at the skeleton's face.

"AGH!" Jack quickly pulled it out, now a little peeved at this current predicament. "Alright, little green man! If it's a fight you want, then it's a fight you shall recieve!"

"Hmph! Gladly!" Luigi grabbed his Poltergust! A battle of spooky proportions was sure to ensue... ​​​​​

​​​​- JACK SKELLINGTON VS LUIGI BEGIN!

Jack Skellington:

Boys and girls of every age; would you like to see something strange?

Try this scrawny little sidekick thinking he’ll come on top today!

Forever a player two; beyond that, you never expanded!

Mario’s soaking up Sunshine, while you’re stuck in a haunted mansion!

'''I’m the king of Halloweentown! I cause lots of screams, now!'''

'''Think you win against me? How?! Prepare for your beatdown!'''

'''Try to catch me with ease, pal? To that, I say hardly!'''

If I wanted to fight a fake Ghostbuster, I’d call Melissa McCarthy!

Luigi:

'''Mama Mia! Seems that I’m taking this one alone!'''

And it looks I’ve been pitted against another Dry Bones!

Except, when I stomp him, he won’t reassemble!

Bring more havoc to this bonehead than a heat seeking missile!

'''You’re a glorified prankster! You can’t ever deceive me!'''

Especially with limbs that’re lankier than Waluigi!

You try to celebrate the Holidays, and in every way, you failed!

And as far as skeletons go; you’re now Under a different Tale!

Jack Skellington:

'''You think yourself a pro? You barely pass as a rookie,'''

I’ll skin you alive just like I did to Oogie Boogie!

You can’t pose as a threat when your greatest enemy is Bowser!

Let’s see your Poltergust go against my Soul Robber!

'''Trying to match wits with the Pumpkin King?! You’re crazy!'''

Because by the time that I’m done, you’ll be pushing Daisies!

I’ll pound you to the ground, and plant you into the gravel!

I’m scarier than anything you faced at Dracula’s Castle!

Luigi: 

'''Bringing up Daisy? Now that’s just plain wacky!'''

Considering the botched relationship that you got with Sally!

My Polterpup can outmatch your Zero of a pet!

'''The only sequels that you got are games that everyone forgets! '''

I’ll call my brother, and we’ll take your Halloween goons so flawlessly!

'''We’ll claim that victory for good! Consider it a second Odyssey!'''

To give stitches to this dimwit is what’s on my wishlist!

With emo pandering is how this Grinch Stole Christmas!

Jack Skellington:

You’ll turn into a ghost yourself, and everyone will be glad!

And when I’m finished, the only thing that you’ll say is “Egad!”

'''Just accept it! In battle, you could never defeat me!'''

This battle was a bigger flop than The Year of Luigi!

Luigi:

'''At least I had my own year! You only last for two months!'''

The everyone forgets you for the rest of the year, you dunce!

I’ll beat your Spooky Scary ass in an orderly manner!

For Halloween this year, I beheaded this Jack-O-Lantern!

WHO WON?!

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

Outro:

-

The two have reached a standstill, and were both panting in exhaustion.

"...Well, I'm all out of moves! Do you have anything else up your sleeve?"

Luigi flashed a cocky grin.

"As a matter of fact", he said, "...I do!"

He set up his Poltergust to the highest setting, and aimed it right at Jack and his cronies!

"W-WHOA!" Jack screamed. "What kind of vacuum is that?!"

"One specifically built-a to take down monsters like you!"

The Poltergust eventually sucks Jack inside of it, along with the three monster kids! Luigi gives it a twirl, and aims it high up in the sky!

"So long, Gay Skellington!" With one push of a button, he launched the monsters into the sky and away from the Mushroom Kingdom! Never to be seen again!

Suddenly, Luigi heard clapping. He turned around to see Mario! On his feet, and applauding his little brother.

"Hmhm! Well-a done, Luigi! Well-a done!"

Luigi scratched the back of his head and lightly blushed

"Hehe!... Thank you, Mario."

-

Who Won? Jack Skellington Luigi -

Opponents in need for hire!

Rosalina (might have her against Elsa)

Ness

Eric Cartman

Fenneko from Aggretsuko (Yes, really)