User blog:TCalderon/Satsuki Kiryuin vs Sonic the Hedgehog - Weeb Shit vs Anything

"First: anime is a highly respected form of art; it was not a mistake! Second... I like the one with the edgy girl and scissor blade!"

-Shadow the Hedgehog (2017)

Second verse same as the first; I meant for this to be later in the season, but given... recent events, and me getting into Kill la Kill, I decided to push it up a bit. It was a tough writing session (hence why it took so long), but I think it turned out pretty well! Hopefully you'll enjoy it! (keep in mind, there are a couple of spoilers for Kill la Kill. If you haven't seen it yet... please do. It is the best show.)

Special shoutout to Dgun5121 for this super sexy cover art! I wish as half as talented, as I decided to make some fancy title cards for this battle and... yeh, they ain't too good. Ah well.

Satsuki Kiryuin, the President of Hinnoji Academy vs Sonic the Hedgehog, the fastest thing alive! These two battle it out to see which warrior who fights for order is truly superior! But are they alone is this contest?

Beat (at 1.25 speed) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bobiPklLkqI

WEEB SHIT VS ANYTHING



VS



BEGIN!

Sonic:

Sonic is the name and speed is my game!

I make Badniks and fascists look like one and the same!

I’m quite used to taking down crazy dictators

That blade of yours is pretty cool; I’d be scared if I were made of paper

Girl, I’ve been in it since the golden age, all the way from 16-bits!

While your niche franchise is only remembered because of your tits!

You may have a whole army, but that doesn’t change the fact

That you’re nothing but a snobby pampered high school brat!

Challenge the fastest thing alive, and you’re in for a struggle

End your family’s rule, the academy, your life, & Knuckles!

Your whole empire makes Robotnikland seem less corrupt!

I’ll ring you out so many times that I’ll be guaranteed a 1-Up!

Satsuki:

Contradiction is truth, but what isn’t is your gloating

So surrender to my rules, you hedgehog in no clothing!

You must be blind as Sanageyama to think you’re beating me

When a dopey fat-ass is your greatest adversary

Calling out my reputation like yours is one to be proud of?

Cause it seems all your good for these days is pandering to nostalgia!

Your arrogance is blinding you, so let me give you a lecture;

The whole gaming world is getting sick of Sonic’s Adventures!

Not since your BOOM of a spinoff did I think you could be dumber

'''How can you hope to challenge me? You can’t outsell a plumber'''

I’ve better things to do than kick your furry blue ass,

So I’ll make your death a quick one; Gotta Go Fast!

Sonic:

'''C’mon, step up those lyrics! You think you have the high ground?'''

That wack philosophy of yours is just as bushy as your eyebrows!

I’ll outmatch your Elite Four, and take you down without a sweat!

I’ll make you bleed red on your slutty wedding dress!

Satsuki:

Authority runs thoroughly within the Kiruin family,

While you were a fad who was only cool in the nineties!

Like your comic book series, I’ll make you cease and desist,

Make you suffer so bad, you’ll relive 2006!

Sonic:

You may have subverted expectations, and was a hero all along

But as far as I’m concerned, you’re no different from your mom!

Satsuki:

I grow impatient with your attitude; I think it’s time you resigned!

Before I beat you till you look worse than your movie’s design!

'''*The beat suddenly changes to this as two new challengers enter the arena! (also at 1.25 speed)* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wED__omEjLI'''

Shadow:

This petty feud is taking too long; I haven’t got all day!

It’s time for the Ultimate Life Form to take centerstage!

I suggest you backtrack before my lyrics unfold

Make you freeze up in terror like it’s Chaos Control!

Ryuko:

My sister’s fight is with your boyfriend; try someone your own size!

You’ll cower in fear when my Life Fibers Synchronize!

You don't wanna mess with me when I put on my Senketsu!

Even with those Emeralds in your grasp, I won’t hesitate to wreck you!

Shadow:

'''Talking to your clothes? Guess that really says a lot'''

He and a human Cream the Rabbit are the only friends you got!

You’ll Lose Your Way for good, and they’ll be missing you badly

By the time I’m done with you, you’ll reunite with your daddy

'''I’m the coolest! You’re looking like a worn out slut'''

You don’t belong in a fight, you should be stripping at the club!

I’m an authentic combatant, while your fighting style is hokey

When I step up in the ring it’s death to all who oppose me!

You were hot shot for a while, then you lost appreciation

With no fans there to say “Where’s that DAMN continuation?!”

That bikini armor doesn’t scare me; you don’t intimidate, sister

Your sword’s appropriate; I’m sure this bitch loves to scissor!

Ryuko:

'''You finished yet, Linkin Park? I’m growing impatient!'''

But allow me to give you two useful bits of information

1. You should’ve died in Adventure 2, but your fans couldn’t let go!

2. You claim to be Ultimate, but you’re not good enough to be an Echo!

Your titles mean nothing when your feats don’t save face

I am my father’s ace, while you’re Gerald’s disgrace!

Calling me out and dismissing me for a trend?!

Bitch it took you a whole decade to be playable again!

For all anyone cares at this point, Sega might as well leave you abandoned

When your best written stories are considered non-canon!

So I suggest you back down, you furry version of Vegeta!

I’ll kill your ass harder than that bullet killed Maria!

Sonic &  Shadow: 

Alright, now we’ll show you! ''' Guess they oughta Live and Learn! '''

It ain’t the Lava Reef Zone, but still you two will get burned!

So Escape From the City, or you beating will be imminent!

We’ll beat your asses harder than we did to Infinite!

We’ve been going strong to Modern times all the way from Classic!

While your legacy is borderline pornographic!

We’ll turn you to nothing like your mother, so it’s best you go home!

'''These bitches must be braindead!   You’re too slow! '''

Ryuko &  Satsuki:

Do what you’re good at and run before we kick you in the cranium

The only thing you did of note lately was Sonic Mania!

'''You should’ve went bankrupt long ago!  For once, Sis, I agree!'''

Why their fans would continue their support is beyond me!

All your repetitious disses are becoming overkill

The only thing more overdone than that is their use of Green Hill

Forget Iblis; you’re facing a different Trigger, you hacks!

'''Sayonara! We ended you like the Sega Dreamcast…'''

WHO WON?! WHO’S NEXT?! YOU DECIDE!

Who Won? Team Sonic Team Kill la Kill