User blog:GIR 5 life/GIR'S News Blogs Of Infrequency With Zim & GIR

Prologue
Hello everybody! It's time for something a little different. In a idea shamelessly ripped off from Wonder ( <3 U buddy ) I'm trying to leave an impression with this news blog. So lets dive right in! Oh, and the banner was made by Wonder. Thanks a lot friend and happy late birthday. Consider this my lame birthday gift. (bpf)



The Story
Zim's house, exterior night time: 

Zim: MWAHAHAHAHA! IT IS DONE!!

'''We cut to Zim standing in his living room, looking at a folder marked " Evil Plans"'

This is it GIR! After 12 miserable years of sitting around, I will finally destroy all the puny humans!

Zim pauses and looks over at GIR GIR! Are you even listening?

'''The camera pans over to GIR, who has his head emerged in a tub of tomato sauce. GIR lifts his head up:'''

GIR: Look at mee! I'm Bloody GIR! :D

'''GIR dunks his head back down and soon bubbles begin to surface. Gurgled laughter is heard'''

GIR!! Get your head out of that sauce IMEDIANTLYYYYYYY!

Zim pulls GIR out of the tub and drags him out of the room 

Weeeeeeeeeeeee

The Story Part 2
We cut to Zim's lab were we see Zim dragging GIR to the giant TV monitor.

eeeeeeeeee

Zim drops GIR in front of the monitor.

eeeeee, OOOF!

Now is not the time for games, GIR!

Zim turns on the TV monitor.

Ever since the N.I.C.K Foundation shut down my operations 12 years ago, I've been forced to lay low on this filthy planet. But now that their company has gone down the drain, I can finally rise up and conquer these retched earthlings. Look GIR! Look at them wallow in their shame! They will regret defying ZIIIIM!!

'''GIR looks up at the screen. It shows Nick headquarters where chaos is ensues. Panicked employees are being chased by various Nick characters. The place is a wreck.'''

SpongeBob: BIYYIYIYIYA! Helloooooooo everyone! <3

'''SpongeBob shoots rainbow lasers out of his eyes. They rocket towards a Nick employee and hit him in the face.'''

Nick 1: Oww!

A bruised employee frantically runs up to Nick 1

Nick 2: What the hell are we gonna do man?!!!!

I don't know!!

I Carly walks up to Nick 2

I Carly: This is for cancelling my show you douchebag!

I Carly kicks Nick 2 in the balls.

AHHHHHH!

Zim turns off the monitor.

Come GIR! We must plan our attack.

Okey Dokey!

'''GIR runs backwards out of the Lab. Zim face palms. '''

Hint 1 (Finally)
'''We cut to the kitchen where GIR is sitting on a chair while kicking his feet back and forth. Zim stands and holds his evil plans folder.'''

Alright GIR, here's my brilliant plan! I like to call it...... INVASION OF THE IDENTITY SNATCHERS!!

GIR claps enthusiastically: WOO!

With this Irkin device, I will be able to steal the face of anyone I desire!

Zim walks over to GIR to show him the device

Pretty ingenious, isn't it GIR?

GIR starts flailing his arms wildly

Look at my arms! Look at em!!!!

The device is knocked to the floor and shatters into a million pieces.

GIR!! You fool!!! You've broken my device!!!

GIR stares blankly with his tongue sticking out.

Now the plan is ruined! This voice stealing device is completely useless now!

'''Zim angrily throws another device to the ground. He then begins stomping on it.'''

Hint 2
'''Zim stops. The device is now in a billion little pieces.'''

What on Irk am I going to do now? That was my ultimate plan!

Zim starts pacing back and forth.

Think Zim, THINK!

'''Zim stops in front of GIR, who is eating some chocolate. A light bulb appears above Zim's head.'''

GIR! You're a genius!!

GIR licks the chocolate off his face.

I aaaaaaaaaam?

Yes! I have come up with a new plan. It is called...... CANDY!!!

GIR stares at Zim for a few seconds.

Is that it?

Listen, It's under a working title.

Another awkward pause.

I like candy! :D

*sigh* Look it's simple, we market our own delicious candy and turn the population into obese morons.

But what'll it be made of?

Err, I don't know. Does it really matter?

Can it have waffles in em?

Um, I guess.

Eeeheeheehee!

'''GIR leans forward and falls off the chair. He lands on his head and now GIR is upside-down. '''

???: This just in!

'''Zim turns his head away from GIR. There is a TV on the table where on the screen a News Anchor is behind his desk'''

News Anchor: The nation is unanimous! Candy is out and tofu is in according to recent polls. That is all. Coming up next, Local Baker slays..

Zim turns off the TV

Why the hell is the TV in the kitchen? And what kind of freaking newscast was that?!!

GIR looks sadly up at Zim

No candy? :(

No GIR, no candy.

GIR starts to tear up. Wahhh,ooh! TV! :D

Hint 3
'''GIR turns the TV back on. A Discovery Channel show with an Australian narrator is playing. '''

''Welcome back to the adventurey adventure show of adventure mates! ''

*off screen* I love this show.

Today we'll be talking about the Temple of Ultimate Power.

*off screen* GIR, turn it up!

Okay!

'''The volume turns up. A picture of a temple is shown.'''

''Deep in the Jungles of New Britianland lies the Gerblieps Temple, home of the Orb of Powers. ''

A novelty beach ball with the face of Austin Powers sits on a pedestal.

''But beware! There are many perils. Like sharks. And Lava. And lava sharks!''

A picture of what appears to be left shark on fire is shown.

And don't forget dangers such as..

Sounds way too complicated.

Zim turns the weird kitchen TV off.

Hint 4
We cut to Zim and GIR sitting on the living room couch.

Do not be discouraged GIR! Things may look bleak but remember: Evil always triumphs over good!

Zim turns to GIR.

Hey, what are you reading GIR?

GIR looks up from his book, which he is holding upside down.

A book! :D

'''GIR goes back to reading. Zim leans closer to read the cover. It's a children's book. '''

Aren't you a little too advanced to be reading that?

GIR turns to Zim

I like the part with the cat! See? It's a cat!! :D

GIR points to the picture of the cat.

Yes..... I see.

GIR claps. What are yooooooou readin?

Zim picks up the book sitting on his lap.

The scribbling's of the miserable human being ever. His name is...

GIR spills coffee on the book because plot convenience

GIR you moron! Now the writings so dark an dreary that I can't read his emo babblings!

GIR blushes, looking sheepishly at Zim.

Oops, Sorrry.

Oh screw this!

Zim stands up and walks to the door, GIR following close behind.

I'm just going to do a freestyle takeover.

'''Zim opens the door, Gets on the floor, then everybody does the dinosaur. After that, he steps outside.'''

I mean, how hard could it be?

Zim looks down at GIR who is frantically trying to get his attention.

What is it GIR?

'''GIR whimpers and points forwards. Zim looks at what GIR is pointing at. Then GIR screams.'''

AHHHHHHH!

Oh. My. God.

THE END????

Epilogue
Hope you enjoyed that. It was a pain in the ass to code, but I'm satisfied with the results. Feel free to put your guesses in the comments below. Now here's were you can help me! Season 1 is all planned out but I need some good suggestions for season 2. So here's where you come in. Below are some characters I need opponents for. So in addition to suggesting the battles you wanna see, I also need suggestions for:

P.T Barnum

Ib

Jacksfilms

Mr. Game & Watch

Animaniacs

Will Smith

Cinema Snob

Viola/ Ellen ( the witches house)

Elsa ( No sub zero please :D )

Jenny/ XJ-9 ( My life as a teenage robot)

Happy Appy

Brutal Moose

Mrs. Frizzle ( Magic school bus)

Powerpuff Girls

The Goonies

ERB

Jonas ( the Giver )

Duck Hunt Dog

Phelous and Obscuras Lupa

Hiro and Baymax

Also I have a couple polls for you guys. I'd like to hear feedback on what you like and what you like to see.

Which is your Favorite battle? DHMIS vs FNAF Phineas and Ferb vs Dipper and Mabel Doug Walker vs Markiplier Alice vs Dorothy Jason vs BEN

Which battle do you want to have a sequel? DHMIS vs FNAF 2 Phineas and Ferb vs Dipper and Mabel 2 Doug Walker vs Markiplier 2 Alice vs Dorothy 2 Jason vs BEN 2

Should I keep this News blog format? Yes No

Thanks for reading!