User blog:TheDoctorTenGrinch/The 1960 Presidential Debate. JFK vs Nixon. Epic Rap Battles of Grinch Episode 5

Hello everyone! Welcome to another battle of mine. As it stands right now, we will be seeing a lot more of these in the future. I have a gigantic list of ideas that I want to get down and write. This was just the beginning. I hope to have more of these out soon. ^.^

I also am welcoming guest rappers for the first time. If you need some help or you want to help me, please comment here or leave me a message either here or on Skype.

Anyways, enjoy! Comment who won and/or any critique or suggestions in the comments.

Walter Cronkite
Welcome to CBS News here in the year 1960.

We have an election season that has proven to be twisty.

Edward R. Murrow
That's right Walter, we have Kennedy versus Nixon.

One of the fiercest battles since the Crucifixion.

Walter Cronkite
Here they come. Who will lead the new age?

Kennedy and Nixon are both on the stage.

Richard Milhous Nixon
Good evening my American citizens.

I am Vice President Richard Milhous Nixon.

And to start off I proclaim my innocence.

Watergate was a mistake, I missed its significance.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy
I am John Fitzgerald Kennedy, proud Catholic from Boston.

I'm about to whip Nixon's ass, call me Steve Austin.

While he's spending time in Kitchen Debates,

I'm spending my time planning to fix what our country hates.

Edward R. Murrow
Gentleman, I will ask our first question.

What are your opinions on the current economic recession?

Richard Milhous Nixon
Now there sir don't go and kick me around.

I know how to get back up off of my Californian ground.

Now I speak from experience, the economy will fix itself.

The incumbents and I will make sure these thoughts go back on the shelf.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Now there Tricky, you do not know what is right.

In fact, you're sickly, you're looking quite pale and white.

Now I do know that our young men and women are hungry.

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

Edward R. Murrow
Now a major problem on our hands concerns the Soviet Union.

Can our countries put aside our differences and once more take communion?

John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Now our country knows we have Cold War drama.

But Vice President Nixon does nothing to stop it, he's busy watching Futurama.

The Russians know that we are falling behind.

And their leader Khrushchev has acted very unkind.

With recent events the Soviets act like iTunes members from 2014.

Too much U2 is what they've seen.

Now we need to discuss Castro, the Cuban leader.

He has become a Soviet cheerleader.

Richard Milhous Nixon
Now Jack you are in way over your head.

The Bay of Pigs will fail with many Cubans dead.

Is your back sore? Shouldn't you be in bed?

Count your blessings before Oswald shoots through your head.

The American people still believes in the GOP.

Soon the Soviets will bow to their knees.

We did not go All the Way with Adlai,

And we certainly won't vote for JFK.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy
That's such a shame, an embattled man who refuses the burden he carries.

Instead he puts all the blame on his contemporaries.

Then he gets away with it all because he picked the right fall guy.

The American people already don't like you. Can you see why?

To the people watching on television, does this man deserve your vote?

He has said many questionable things and I quote,

"If you can't lie, you cannot go anywhere."

That is an immediate red flag right there.

A cold, conniving schemer is what you are.

The Silent Majority should not listen to President who lowers the bar.

With Richard M. Nixon as your leader, would you feel calm?

And don't even get me started on Vietnam.

Richard Milhous Nixon
For a man who despises lies you sure use them and it does show.

A man who cheats on his wife and gets his Johnson blown by Monroe.

My contemporaries still get work today.

Rodham, Gergen and Kissinger are still active. Mr. Kennedy give way!

Your policies are far too dangerous for the American people.

We do not want Soviet military under every United States church steeple.

You are lawless and reckless, in 35 months you will stumble from crisis to drama.

After your demise your fans and followers will suffer briefly with trauma,

but by the end of November they forget you and get into some British dudes.

You will be surprised to learn what your legacy includes;

Plane crashes, Lyin Brother Ted, Schwarzenegger and RFK's assassination.

America will sigh and laugh at your failures and frustration.

Walter Cronkite
That just about does it for this evening.

Thanks to both men for showing up no matter how they are feeling.

In November we will truly see how Americans felt about tonight.

From me and all of my colleagues, we wish you a pleasant goodnight.