Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2



Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2 is the seventieth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the twelfth and final episode of Season 5. It features the co-creators of the series, Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD, rapping against each other in a rematch of the season 1 finale. It was released on January 9th, 2017.

Cast
Nice Peter as himself

EpicLLOYD as himself and Harry Houdini (reused footage, cameo)

Atul Singh, Matthew Schlissel, Shaun Lewin, Brittany White, Ashlyn McIntyre, Morgan Christensen, Sulai Lopez, Jon Na, Jose "Choco" Reynoso, Josh Best, Ryan Moulton, Javi Sánchez-Blanco, Andrew Sherman, and Kyle Herman as the ERB Crew (cameos)

Dante Cimadamore as himself (cameo)

Lyrics
[Note: Nice Peter is in blue, EpicLLOYD is in orange , Allrounda Beats is in bold, and the ERB Crew are in normal text.]

Prologue:
Hey, can you put that little, uh, thing back down in there?

No, no, no, the one below it.

You're just a little up in my face right now.

Oh, I'm sorry. Am I being annoying?

'Cause you said we'd be done at 10, and it's 4 in the morning.

Look, I don't know how to say this.

You know what, fuck it. Let me just fucking say it.

Nice Peter:
I'm fucking burnt out, man! It's been six years every day

That I wake up and come to work to look at your hungover face!

I need some personal space to get away from your screaming,

But every time I turn my back, mother fucker, you start scheming

To take over control of some shit I'm already doing just fine!

We'd have more subs than PewDiePie  if you didn't fight me every time

I try to take our little baby in a creative direction!

I'm trying to make art, mother fucker! You're trying to find a rhyme for erection!

I'm sorry, man! No, I'm fucking not! Fuck you!

You're second class! That's why I let you run ERB2 !

You're so afraid to lose, but losing's all you do,

And tonight, I'm not quitting the battles! Bitch, I'm quitting you!

EpicLLOYD:
Quit me then, you pussy! We'll see what happens!

I'll sit back and watch you unravel and revel in pure satisfaction!

I'm out of compassion for you and your self-righteous bullshit!

Erection jokes, dude? Your whole name means dick!

I'm sick of smoothing things out! The same routine!

ERB2 is right! I'm covering your ass behind the scenes ,

And then I try to tell you things, but you're too stubborn to understand!

Like, dude, that is not a cool way to play Batman !

You manipulate your friends, and then you throw them away!

I don't know who you shit on worse: myself or Dante ?

But I'm not an entrée at one of your fancy restaurants,

So quit eating up my time picking one of your fancy fonts,

And make a fucking decision, so all these people can leave!

Excuse me for interrupting Rocket League and smoking weed!

They got places to be, and now they're looking at me!

Nice Diva is my new name for you, Nice Pete!

Nice Peter:
And doink! Nice punchline, bro.

Your jokes haven't grown since you told them in a lunch line, bro!

You're an eight-year-old boy stuck inside a whatever-year-old man!

(Argh!) Look at me! I'm EpicLLOYD! Check me out! I can

Rap about my problems instead of solving them!

If you wanna heal, you gotta deal with your issues 'cause a bottle's not stopping them!

EpicLLOYD:
Don't take this battle there, dude. You don't want that at all!

Let me guess: right now you're on two beers and a pill and a half of Adderall,

And that makes you obsessive, and then you fuck up all the fun,

So why don't you trust the editors and stop changing their shit after they're done?

Nice Peter:
Yo, don't try to paint me as some compulsive little jerk!

If you weren't so cheap, we could hire some editors that do good work!

Who do you think just— Oh, that's real funny, Andrew !

EpicLLOYD:
Aww, c'mon! Now what the fuck did I do?

Interlude:
(Allrounda Beats.) What?

Who the fuck left the tag in?

ERRRRRR!

ERRRRRR!

Thanks. Yeah.

Hey, Allrounda. Can you put the—

Yeah, and the little, uh, nice.

We cool, guys?

The ERB Crew:
Yeah. I guess so.

Okay, I've got the card. Did you dump it?

Get your mark. Quiet please. Here we go.

And action.

Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD (in unison):
Yo, I guess what I'm saying, man, is that I'm running out of patience, man!

I'm a patient man, but sometimes you need to be a patient, man!

I got the same shit that I was dealing with at the very beginning!

I'm trying to get somewhere with it, man, but all your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning!

I've fought with my wife and gone under the knife,

And I've taken years off of the back of my life!

Man, since right in the beginning we been fighting! No one's winning!

People would kill to do what we do for a living! Your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning!

Epilogue:
That was weird. Yup.

I'm sorry about some of the things that I said.

I'm sorry about the way you played Batman.

I think I just need a break. Yeah, me too.

You wanna write a song? Yeah, dude!

General

 * This is the first battle not to have the announcer or title cards at the beginning of the video.
 * This is the first battle to have two sets of subtitles appear at the same time.
 * This is the second battle of season 5 to feature only a character portrayed by Nice Peter against a character portrayed by EpicLLOYD, after J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin.
 * This is the second battle not to have a behind the scenes video, after John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly.
 * The links to all battles pop up in order of release during the end segment, unlike to the other season finales, which only features battles from the season.
 * This is the fourth battle in which one or more actors portray themselves, after Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD, Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe, and Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child.
 * This is the second battle to have them rap as themselves.

Production

 * This is the sixth battle to feature footage which was not filmed in front of a screen, as the ERB's studio is filmed on their actual studio.

Errors

 * In the line, "Excuse me for interrupting Rocket League and smoking weed", "interrupting" is misspelled as "interupting."
 * At 1:53, EpicLLOYD's legs have gray and black shadows in front of them.
 * The candles in The Great Hall have the same problem as they did in J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin.
 * When Lloyd says "your bitching is keeping my wheels spinning", the word "is" is shown twice in the subtitles.