User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 6: Advice Dog vs. Doge

(And now we've reached the last battle i posted in November 2013. I got the idea after watching the animeme rap battles, and I can honestly say this is the most fun I've ever had writing a rap battle past or present. Also, starting after this one, all my season 1 battles will only be uploaded on Mondays and Fridays.)

CYAN'S RAP BATTLES!



VS.



BEGIN!

Advice Dog:Want my advice? Put a toaster in your doggie bath.

I was here first, Mutt, so get in line and sniff my ass.

You’re getting old already, and you’re pretty much brand new.

Make your death painless. Delete system 32!

I wink at the shop clerk when I buy condoms.

But I couldn’t find anything to fix your speech problems.

You’re the newfag pooch, and you’re going to get upset,

When I give you chemotherapy, ‘cuz you’re the cancer of the Internet.

Doge: Wow, so much fail! Your rhymes are such embarrasing.

So terrible advice. Ur very age, but I r king.

Rap lvl: 100. I ice cool on ur dog days.

Such skills. Much agile. So 2pac. Amaze!

I got txt floating all round me, so it’s easy 2 make rhymes.

Im fine. Burying U like a bone. Wow, such punchline!

I’m living in the present. #2013

So hip! Doge scored much victory over this has-been.

Advice Dog: I can really tell you were born from Homestar Runner.

Your text is as tacky as my background of many colors.

It’s probably not fair, me dissing text from where I stand.

But it’s hard to compare us when your text is Comic Sans!

I’m the father of exploitables, like the Socially Awkward Penguin,

Business Cat, Insanity Wolf or Anti-Joke Chicken.

I’m Advice Dog, bitch! A YTMND breakthrough!

Fuck you, fuck Shiba Confessions, and fuck Tumblr too.

Doge: U wot m8? U cheeky little cunt!

I’ll bash ur fukin ed in, I swear on me mum.

I may look such soft, but when [Doge Intensifies],

I’ll burn out ur soul with my cold, ded eyes.

Plz, dawg. Ur a Memegenerator template,

A fake with a gr8 reputation as n00b bait.

Ur real naem’s Boba Fett, created on a Mario fansite.

Go bite sum ‘delicious live wires’. Nao how’s that 4 advice?

WHO WON? Advice Dog Doge