User blog:Epichaxboi/Epic Google Translate Battles of History - Jacques Cousteau vs. Steve Irwin

I was bored

Jacques Cousteau

Jacques Cousteau, here to spit.

Invented Scuba, captain of Calypso!

Documentary of the ocean awarded by the Palme d'Or,

Ready to face a desperate and sweaty showman!

You are stocky and sweet, you annoy me!

You are the only manatee I do not want to keep!

My aquatic life was adventure and beauty,

I'm so cool, Bill Murray played me in the movie.

I have Oscars! You are in Dr. Dolittle 2!

So go home to your father's zoo!

And just to be clear, because I'm not a veterinarian,

Have you been killed by a fish-fish pet at the aquarium?

Steve Irwin-

Smoker, what a place to go!

You would need a submarine for a shot as low! (Awhh!)

You should hurry up! You better protect yourself!

Because crikey, I'm going from "fang" to "Jacques hunter"!

Look at this salty guy,

Looks like his face is made of pure leather!

Warning! He has the body of a naked mole rat!

He is grumpy because he has to wear a Papa Smurf hat!

I am a wild man, you are a subdued dude!

The only fangs you can handle are shoes to put on!

And crikey, you're such a boring guy,

You could do a whole show on the dry ocean!

But with the sheila, you had fun!

Your mistress was as young as your firstborn son!

You should never have walked to the Wildlife Defender,

Now kiss your French nature and give up!

Jacques Cousteau-

Are you talking about sons? Better watch what you say now!

You have almost transformed yours into Outback Mistake House!

Steve Irwin-

Would you prefer to talk about your brother? Ooh my boy!

Nazi, Nazi, Nazi! Oy yoy yoy!

Jacques Costeau-

Enough of your antics and your madness!

Just hold yourself, like my underwater breathing apparatus!

You are a joke of a guy in a kaki romper!

Go fumble a rope of nope, crocodile hump!

There is a type of snail, recently discovered,

And named after you; I will eat them with butter!

Hi Skippy the Kangaroo of the Bush League,

Hold the 'dee', I'm Crocodile Dun with you!

Steve Irwin-

Where are you going, man? Wait a minute,

Like a joey in a pocket, it's not quite finished!

Watch how destructive your old movies are,

Silent world? More like Silent WorldStar!

If you want to count the fish, please go around the reef!

Do not throw C-4 on the seabed!

I am the gold medal champion on the podium,

You clean up like a Jacques keeper! (Woo!)

I am the biggest advocate for the environment of Mother Nature!

When I tilt the microphone, I am danger dangerous danger!

So go down with your crew,

I just blew you like a didgeridoo!