Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 1

Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 1 is the first installment of the Dis Raps For Hire series. In this episode, Lloyd helps Aysharpietwintip13, whose brother, Charles, picks on him and acts like a jerk.

Message
My brother says that L Verse song doesn’t count as being a verse with all L's. His name is Charles, please destroy him in a rap.

I asked you to destroy my bro in a rap, here’s some info. He’s 15, he has a mustache, he grunts instead of answering, he wears black and he hates Chuck Norris. He tries to rap, he thinks that Things 1 and 2 were weak, he’s a jerk who always has to throw the last punch. His food can’t touch, he doesn’t like cheese, potatoes, mayo or most condiments (I thought I’d throw that in). And don’t think I’m hatin’ him,

it’s just that he’s a jerk and I want to get back at him just once for all the things he did to me. He’s probably gonna hit me once he hears it, but it’ll be worth it! PLEASE!”

- aysharpietwintip13

Lyrics
Your time on earth as a bully is about to officially expire

Cause you've been targeted for destruction by Dis Raps For Hire

I hear you've been a dick to your brother aysharpietwintip

Well EpicLloyd's about to exact a little bit of his vengeance

I promise, you're gonna dislike every one of these comments

Like you do cheese, potatoes, mayo, and most condiments

That's your brother, man. Why do you have to be a jerk?

You better answer me and stop grunting like one of them pigs from Angry Birds

I’ll rip your arms off like a Wookie and then eat ‘em for lunch

Then watch you flop around the ground tryin' to throw that last punch

I’m gonna mangle you, Charlie, and spill out of your guts

Then serve them to you on a plate making sure the different pieces never touch

It doesn't bother me that you don't like Thing 1 or Thing 2 that much

I think Charles here is just mad that no one ever calls him Chuck

And plus, if something I wrote was a type of style that you loved

I’d have to burn it cause that means all the lyrics I came up with sucked

You got no business sporting facial hair. That's just ridiculous

You're not done growing yet. That moustache is probably bigger than your dick is!

And your clothes are so goth, I can't even see where you go

Walking around like some 15 year old version of The Crow

I’ll say this clearly once and make sure not to stutter

Quit freaking picking on your little younger brother

So sharpie when you see him, and then blow him a kiss

But then raise your fists in self defense cause your on your own after this

That's it!

Trivia

 * The board in the background at the beginning showed a hint saying "Clint Eastwood vs ???", which later became Clint Eastwood vs Bruce Lee.
 * The board also showed Christopher Columbus's scrapped lyrics, which were not heard in the Behind the Scenes for Columbus vs Captain Kirk. The lyrics were "Keep my crew's name out of your mouth or you'll get hurt. I'll Leif Ericson your ass and predate your best work."
 * Many people actually mistakened this for a hint at Leif Ericson's future appearance, but is proven otherwise since they are lyrics.