User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 27: Mario vs Sonic

The mid-season finale of Awesome Rap Battles, which is whenever I say because there's 11 episodes every season >:(, is the battle of game titans, the Nintendo mascot, Mario, faces off against the Sega mascot and friendly rival, Sonic! :) Now it doesn't sound fun, dammit.

Beat: LOL

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES!



VERSUS!



BE-

''*Something, or someone, quickly swoops in and grabs Sonic, carrying him up onto a mountain before squeezing him with his claws. The camera looks up at the large beast, revealing it to be none other than...* ''

PAARTHURNAX?

Paarthurnax:

Drem Yol Luk. Greetings, dahinsty, I am Paarthurnax. I bet you guessed that.

I, the great Martinet’s achievement, you, another racist step-back.

You are like Dragonrend; a creation I do not even comprehend.

An Italian plumber, black jumper, Jewish cash collector? Explain yourself, friend!

This petty mortal cannot handle the way of the Thu’um – The Voice,

If your rapping’s anything like your movie, you should not even attempt noise.

Because I may be ancient, but face it, this leading lizard’s flow’s not basic,

I’ll make this overweight mustached face more outdated than eight-bit!

With a fiery passion, I’ve lasted longer than this somber ape fodder,

From the Arena to the Crisis, my knowledge is stronger, so get on your

Starman if you wish to live. No one-ups, no checkpoints, just luck.

If rapping is anything like your princess, then sorry Mario, you’re fucked!

Mario:

Oh look out, it’s Toothless, and he killed a deformed rat!

You want a rap? Let’s-a go! Finally, Ridley’s joining the Smash!

When two giants clash, I leave a boss’s ass blasted like a bob-omb!

So come on! This grand master can’t take the Master Hand damager’s aplomb!

This overgrown Koopa’s about to get romped by the gaming mascot,

I’ll do in Alduin’s ruined brother faster than money backed mods,

You’re a Bill, I’m the Banzai, this Titan’s gonna hammer down a small fry,

With fire bars so fast, call me the cliffs, with a whiff I’ll “See you next time!”

I don’t need my brother to smother another reptilian in my thwomping delivery,

This vermillian’s skill against any villain is more killer than your pathetic enemies,

I’m the Sunshine to your Dawnguard, so engarde, Pufnstuf, if you still want to,

Overcome this: Mega mushroom, bitch! Fuck rapping, I’ll goomba stomp you!

 *Mario Goomba stomps Paarthurnax, defeating him, but all of a sudden..* 

FUS RO DA!

 *Looking up, Mario sees someone looming over him.* 

Dovahkiin:

How dare you steal the job of the one Dragonborn?

I’m not scared of a plumber chasing a turtle man’s whore!

You’re spitting Elder Scrolls; I’ll blast your ass into Oblivion,

I’m diminishing this midget and throwing more shade than Vivian!

Is this a hassle? A task this fatass crap traveler can’t handle?

I’m sorry Albano, but like your bitch, your victory’s in another castle!

 *Seeing Mario weak on the ground, Luigi comes to help, but...* 

Luigi:

IMMA-

 *...he's quickly shoved out of the way by someone else.* 

Peach:

What did you call me? You better resent that, or you’ll regret that!

This dainty chick can spit more heat than Leif’s Auriel can reflect back!

This damsel in distress is a mistress that if you mess with you’ll get butt-bombed!

You can’t even take an arrow to the knee? Don’t blame me cause you can’t get some!

Hi, I’m Day-Z in this rap game, you’re Slaughtering Grounds, you boring Nordic deuce,

So quit playing, you dragon runt, after this you won’t, as you say, Nahl Daal Vus!

UH...

...WHO... WON?

...WHO'S NEXT?

...TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.

AWE.. SOME RAP BATTLES!

Credits
Writing: Awesomesix, Alanomaly, Bantha117 (albiet minor both still helped)

Proofreading: Alanomaly, Bantha117, Tigerisnormal

Title Cards: LeandroGaming1 (Mario), Cyanwrites (Sonic)

I forget who suggested this, but it was during Glisc's series discussion, I think Wonder said it, but I just had to make it.

Who Won? Mario and Peach Paarthurnax and Dovahkiin 