User blog:Loygansono55/Coke vs Pepsi - Epic Rap Battles of Food Season 2 Finale Ft. Many People



Alright! It's time for the finale of Epic Rap Battles of Food Season 2! This battle features the two most popular drinks in the world, Coke and Pepsi. There are also a few not-so-surprising surprises in there that aren't really surprises because they'll be listed in the cast list. You know who you are, so thanks a lot for helping with this! Let's get it on!

Cast
Loygansono55 as Coke, Starbucks, Irn-Bru, Mountain Dew, Sprite, and Smoothie

MrAwesome300 as Pepsi, Orange Juice, 7 Up, Milk, Apple Cider, and Jay Leno

DudeWithASuit as Water

WonderPikachu12 as Root Beer

J1coupe as Dr Pepper

Ximena 13 as Kool-Aid

SierraStalker as Hot Chocolate

RespectThePixel as Tea

Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FOOD!

COKE!

VERSUS!

PEPSI!

BEGIN!

Coke:
I'mma shakey shake and jizz mah fizz on you, fo' shizz,

Cause I'm a carbonated baller, you're a bitch getting high on fructose corn syrup!

Ali G can suck my dick, Christopher Lee can suck my dick!

Joffrey can suck my dick! And you can buy me dinner!

By the way, did you know that I'm the greatest drink ever?

I've got Santa as a mascot, you're just... mediocre at best,

Diet, Light, Cherry, Zero, I will always come out on top,

And you taste like an elephant peed in sulphuric acid!

Pepsi:
Choke on toast and croke, Coke!

Remember New Coke? You blockhead, friend of Bill Clinton,

My friend Cole lives in outer space,

He says you are a disgrace, so get your damn braces!

Patience, young one, let's have a sip of my cola,

You're a spoiled little meanie! I'll tell this to a detective!

I can play saxophone and crack codes, pay taxes,

Sadness is getting a tattoo, so screw you and your kung fu moves!

Water:
Water in the bill, time to pay the water bill,

Cuz I'm the healthiest drink ever, I'll drink Cokecaine never,

And piss off Pepsi and get Bill to pay to my bill's price,

Cause I support life and microwaveable rice!

Orange Juice:
Hey, hey! It's OJ, shootin' y'all lyrically like OJ!

Por que? Grand old flag's still sitting there proudly,

Vitamin C fo' yo knees, you know what to do now!

Do the Charleston, twirl 3 times, and give all 3 of you a noogie!

Starbucks:
Orange Juice, you can suck my steaming Sunny D!

Cause I'm piping hot, just like... shit, I forgot the analogy I was going to use!

Call me Steve Irwin, cause I'm gonna Ir-win,

Are you the guy who does the voice for Emperor Zurg? Cause you're a faggot!

Irn-Bru:
Jumping jehosaphats, is it nine o'clock already?

I'm an Irn-Bruiser, I almost joined the Power Ragers!

Anyway, enough about me, let's get you, Starfucks,

Star Fox? No, I said Starfucks! Star Fox hates you, Starfucks!

Mountain Dew:
Aaaaaiiiiiiiiight, let's all just chill a bit, fellows,

Let's bond while watching Fat Albert, cause that's the only show I watch,

I Mountain Dew things right around here, I'll give all you suckers gout,

And I have more swag than the Hubble telescope! Bye, love you!

7 Up:
7 Up your ass, leaving a spot that's so cool!

Discover the land, ahoy, you won't get far!

Walk on fire, while I play golf with Warren Buffett,

But I'll get a jackhammer and make you stuff it: THE TRUTH!

Sprite:
He loves me, he loves me not... urgh! Don't you knock?!

Step on a crack, break your mama's back, you heathen!

You're ugly, I don't ever want to speak to you again,

So this Sprite is right when he says he knows his ABCs!

Root Beer:
Yo, Root Beer in da house! You're all drunker than even me!

I'm made by A&W, which can also be M&C which is like MC!

My flow float like ice cream! You all suck like straws!

That line might've been used before, butt fuck you all!

Dr Pepper:
It's MC Dr. Pepper! Bringing heat like a Peppah!

I'm a battle Settlah! You all better write a lettah!

Cause from this proctor doctor you have a lot to learn!

Here's a pepper in the wound- you just got BURNNNNNED!

Kool-Aid:
If you want some purp that's not illegal, chill with Kool-Aid,

I pack more heat and got more money than my man 2 Chainz,

Nothing rhymes with purple, so I won't end a rhyme with it,

So fuck all the other drinks, Grape Kool-Aid is the shit!

Milk:
ARRGH! You all make me queasy!

I'll clip all your hedges and bury the evidence!

I come straight from boobehs, that can't be beat,

So squeeze deez udders! I now accept American Express!

Hot Chocolate:
I'm Hot Chocolate, lel, you're all noobs,

I'm the best because I'm keeping this battle warm!

Ha ha! Get it? Because I'm Hot Chocolate and Hot Chocolate gets cold!

10/10, that joke tho, #HotChocolateForWinnerOfThisSwegtasticBattle2014!

Apple Cider:
Eenie meenie minie mo! Go home!

Check the classifieds, I'll get a Dreamcast and slowly make love!

You iguana men, you can't rap away from this Cider,

Read The Outsiders, I've gotten kudos from Jon Hyder!

Tea:
Relax, sit back, and take a nice drink of tea,

I'm a professional beverage, you smell like pee,

Water isn't a match for me, and Orange Juice can suck it,

I'm the best drink, so pour me into a bucket!

Smoothie:
I've got the tooty fruity booty like Hilary Duff, ya dig?

You look like Rumpelstiltskin's belly button, and you're my arch-enemy!

Actually, the guy who made the Naked Brothers Band is,

But let's just play a friendly game of catch and listen to ABBA!

''The ground starts ferociously rumbling as the skies quickly grow grey. Out of the clouds comes...

JAY LENO!''

Jay Leno:
WOAH! Bet you all forgot about Jay!

Drive me to Bombay, so I'll get a pedicure, okay?

Ha! Look at these drinks, I'LL DEVOUR YA ALL!

If you think my swollen knee looks bad, wait until Fall!

Coke and Pepsi, you can both screw each other,

Like my collection of cars, like 60s hippie soul brothers,

Who are the others? Cranberry juice? Ricky Martin?

You better stop your scratching! GET OUT OF THE SECRET GARDEN!

The government can't know what I'm plotting to do!

SHHH! I'm plotting to kill Jimmy Fallon and his 13 inch boots!

I should be off now, I got to fondle old sneakers,

See you all in 1993, now I got to leave-sers. NAILED IT!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU ORDER!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FOOD!

Who won? Coke Pepsi Water Orange Juice Starbucks Irn-Bru Mountain Dew 7 Up Sprite Root Beer Dr Pepper Kool-Aid Milk Hot Chocolate Apple Cider Tea Smoothie Jay Leno