User blog:Mystical Trixter/Couch vs. Bed. Trixter's Rap Battles of Something or Another

Why not, ya know?

I've never written a blog on mobile so format will be hot ass probably. No fancy schmancy coding because that's a nightmare on mobile I imagine

Couch was written by a SPECIAL GUEST :0000

Intro
You know, I really don't feel like writing an intro.

It's a battle about furniture who fucking cares about the intro

Go I guess

Bed
Step aside peasant, I'm deploying king or queen sized disses, whichever sounds cooler

But either way I'm royalty bitch, so make way for furniture's ruler!

You wanna throw hands but only have arms, what a tragedy,

Stuck inside the living room, while I have whole parts of houses named after me!

I have no love for this seat, he can't whip up a comfy rhyme,

All your jokes bounce off of me, and kids already do that all the time.

You're inanimate, so I can't kill you, but if you weren't, after this you'd definitely be dead!

Get ready for a scary next verse people, there's a monster right below this bed

Couch
That was weak, no wonder people sleep on ya

My verse is cash money like finding under-the-seat dollars

I'm gonna make a bed sheet, knock you into next week

I got a lot of cushion you can kiss my loveseat Likea cheap hotel bed, you're spotty, I'm on fleek

Your blankets coming off, because I'm dropping the heat

It's couch, I'm no slouch, your verse was dead lame

and painful like hitting ankles against the bed frame

Bed
You must write with what's under your cushions, because those raps were trash!

You stink man, like shit, and you are literally covered in ass.

People never sleep on you because all you do is hurt their backs and their necks,

People sleep on me and love me, and sometimes on me they even have sex!

Couch
How bout some netflix and chill, yeah, does that bell ring

I'mma get up in that ass like I'm a bed spring Your raps are too soft, I'm firm and I rest never You just got pissed on, call me a bed wetter

Outro
Who won I guess

You don't really decide since I don't feel like putting in a poll, if one of our lovely admins would like to, though, that's just fine.

Alright, that's it, see ya.