User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Battles of Fiction Season 3 Episode 1 - Romeo and Juliet vs Tris and Tobias

Yay they're back. Well. At least im excited by it. Joe's Battles of Fiction are back (with the name now copyrighted after the row on A6's wall) and we would like to welcome you to my premiere. A group battle. God I hate writing these. I swear coding them takes like an hour. But anyway I digress. This is a battle of young lovers with tragic ends. I'd like to dedicate this to Noah who asked that Tris was used a long time ago, and to Trent because I've had to postpone the suggestion he gave being finished. I hope you all enjoy this

For those of you unfamiliar with the characters involved. Romeo and Juliet come from the eponymous Shakespeare play whilst Tris and Tobias are from dystopian fiction series Divergent. Now, sit back and enjoy! I hope....

The Cast
Lauren Flans as Tris Prior (denoted by red )

EpicLLOYD as Tobias Eaton (denoted by this )

Grace Helbig as Juliet Capulet (denoted by this )

Nice Peter as Romeo Montague (denoted by this )

The Battle
ROMEO AND

JULIET

VERSUS.....

TRIS AND TOBIASSSSSSSS

BEGIN!

We're Dauntless, we're bosses, call us Candor os we are being honest

Hitting rhymes, FLAWLESS, beating guys, FLAWLESS, questing in the hunt for knowledge

You're just two sad little emo kids, watched Romeo die, put a blade in her ribs

Don't you know what selflessness is? now you're going down to Tobias and Tris

Cap it, Juliet,you ain't heard it get real yet, disgrace of a Montague, loving a Capulet

Don't fret, Four and Six will win, I'd bet, wasted time, I'd rather have read Hamlet

Come on then, we are in the zone, hit you back, you were better as gnomes

Two rappers as dull as Abnegation homes, end this, you bitches just got owned

Once in fair Verona, our story did begin, two lovers, who were destined, to reunite their kin

Now we verse these loners, we will surely win, Al only jumped, because you rejected him

We'll beat down Tobias, like our name is Marcus, killing off Tris, just like her parents

I could Chica-go for some serum, poisonous disses, we spit 'em, just stop, you need to listen to our wisdom

No matter what you bring from your shitty city of factions

We'll attack them, and crash them, that's a fact then

Where there's a Will there's a way, whoops you shot him, one of you is fixed, the other just wasn't

Watch this on your cameras, we are about to stomp it, and disable two losers who are always dishonest

Was that what you're bringing, totally not impressing, we brought the system to its knees, stopped the repressing

And now we are pressing, two losers who are now regretting, ever seeing the depressing sight, of Mercutio cross dressing

With your families at war, Romeo wanted more, fell in love with Juliet, after being rejected by a whore

It's core, you have no retort, when you see what we have in store, for a spoilt brat and the child he adores

Oh Romeo, Romeo, wherefore you trying to step to, dirty Montague, don't fret dude

Cos us two, we annihilate you, and then we will take down Benvolio too, oooh

Tobias, a rose by any other name would still be shit, like this thick prick who perves on younger chicks, hypocrite

And Tris is a bitch, listing crimes for Eric, now end it, you two kids can only take discredit

We are criminals, badasses, the fictional Bonnie and Clyde

Say your goodbyes, Tris dies, and he'll always be afraid of heights

This is over, you losers just got knocked out of initiation,

Here's your final lamentation, factionless your destination

Who won?

You decide?

Joe's Rap Battles

OOOOOOOOOF

FICTION!!!!

Miscellaneous
Who won? Tris and Tobias Romeo and Juliet

"Face it, you're just Burton's Sweeney Todd prequel"