User blog:Gliscor Fan/Epic Rap Battles: Pokemon vs History - Rowlet vs Mr. Owl

I'm back again. I don't know how many more battles until the season finale. But the season finale is going to be Lit-ten as fuck. I'm gonna make it Pop-plio, and it might get better with (leaf)age.

That aside, today I'm doing an off-season battle because, well, there's very little information to go off of for both of these combatants. It's Rowlet, the new Grass Starter, against Mr. Owl, the mascot of the Tootsie Roll commercials from the 90s. Yes, I realize I could've just done Noctowl vs Mr. Owl, but I really wanted to use Rowlet since it has the most information out of all 3 new starters at the moment and I'm impatient as all hell.

Anyway, let's get started!

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES: POKEMON VS HISTORY

ROWLET

VERSUS

MR. OWWWWWWLLLLLLL

BEGIN

Mr. Owl
How many licks does it take to deplete the health of this owl?

You look like Bill Nye had sex with some fowl

I’m the mascot to a very large lollipop chain

And you, sir, are just another speck on Pokemon’s stain!

I am a hero, a legend, to an inspired little boy

While you fly around Alola finding other starters to destroy

Take advice from Litten, and maybe stay in a pack

Because you’ll need 180 degrees of vision to dodge my attack!

Rowlet
‘Hoo’ do you think you are to insult me so much?

You can’t count past three, so don’t act so tough

I don’t need to dodge you, I attack from a distance!

Striking my opponents with plants, I got a high-powered Leafage!

You’re overgrowing your step, you’re now on my terrain!

No measly mascot owl can cause me any pain

Beware of my quills, they’ll make you scream and shout,

How many licks does it take to kill Mr. Owl? Let’s find out!

Mr. Owl
Scream and Shout? I mean, I don’t know about you,

But I’m sure no pain you cause can ever make me Hoot

So flap your wings all you want, no one will notice you’ve been shown!

How pathetic is this pokemon? The world may never know.

Rowlet
The only thing the world doesn’t know is how you became a mascot

Every commercial you’ve been in feels like it’s dragged on

The darkness of the night is no obstacle to me

You don’t belong in rap battles, you’re just an idiot from the TV

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE (I Guess)

EPIC

(HOO)

RAP

(ROWLET!)

BATTLES:

POKEMON VS HISTORY

poll
Who won? Mr. Owl Rowlet