User blog:JKGame/Homer Simpson vs. Mr. Incredible: Epic Rap Battles of The Universe

Welcome back to a new installment of Epic Rap Battles of The Universe!

What else do I really have to say? I became a big fan of this matchup and decided to scrap Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk Vs. Mr. Incredible for this, but I didn't really feel like doing that one anyway.

Also, this is going to be the first (and probably last) battle where I include a story for it! It's not 100% original, as I got the inspiration for the story from one of the events in the Incredibles world, but I still wanted to write it.

Now let's get into it!

"Father and the main character of The Simpsons, Homer Simpson, and superhero and the main protagonist of The Incredibles, Mr. Incredible, rap against each other in a battle of animated fathers who go on adventures with his family."

Intro
The room was dark. Rick Dicker turned on a single light bulb to at least keep the room from being pitch black and turned to a yellow, overweight man.

"Mr. Homer Simpson," said Rick Dicker, "Could you tell me about the incident that happened last week?"

"Well, I don't remember all the details," responded Homer, "But I can still remember it a little. I think this is what happened..."

Homer was driving his pink sedan through the streets of Metroville. He had come here to meet someone important that Mr. Burns talked about. He wasn't sure why he was so important, as he didn't pay attention when his boss was talking, but he at least had his address and his name: Winston Deavor.

Suddenly, a car with masked individuals sped past Homer, alarming him. He almost crashed, but he managed to swerve back into the road and continue driving. However, another car sped by, and this time, Homer was so surprised that he actually crashed into a streetlight, seriously damaging his car's already-damaged front.

"D'oh!" cried Homer, and tried to look for the car that caused him to crash. He found it near a bank and saw several people (with some looking like kids) in red and black costumes with an I in the middle. They were going after the criminals that had previously gone by Homer before the costumed people did. Homer spotted the one with a muscular body and assumed that he was the driver.

"Why that little...!" said Homer angrily, "When I see him in person, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind!"

---

The Incredibles had just defeated the criminals and prevented them from robbing the bank. Soon, news reporters and citizens surrounded them, constantly taking pictures of them or asking them random questions.

"Hey, Helen," Mr. Incredible whispered to Elastigirl, "I have to be somewhere for a bit. I'll meet you and the kids later."

He then turned and he suddenly stood face-to-face with an angry Homer. This caught him a bit off guard, as he did not expect someone to appear right in front of him.

"Hello. Mr. Incredible." Homer said coldly.

"What do you want?" responded Mr. Incredible.

"I want you to do something about my car!" yelled Homer.

"Your car got broken?" asked Mr. Incredible before looking at the pink sedan itself and seeing it in its ruined state.

"I'm sorry about your car, but there's nothing I can really do about it," he said.

"Oh, yeah?!" Homer said, "Well, then. Meet me again later today. We're gonna have a rap battle."

"A rap battle?"

"Yeah, a rap battle! Like how that ERB channel does it on Youtube!"

"Fine. I do have time. You better brace yourself."

"Heh. Like you're gonna win."

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

HOMER SIMPSON!

VS!

MR. INCREDIBLE!

BEGIN!

Mr. Incredible:

Here's an overweight Lard-filled Lad against this Super from Pixar!

Both of my films were Incredible, while your only one was sub-Parr

When it comes to animated dads, you are one of the worst

Homer is your name, yet you can't even spit a verse!

My disses will hit you harder than when Bart hit you with a chair

A donut-obsessed drunk against an actual hero? Now that's just not fair!

Just seeing you trying to be relevant is enough of a turnoff

I beat an invincible robot. You couldn't even beat your own rip-off!

Homer Simpson:

Stupid Mr. Incredible, thinking that I'm nothing but trash

But guess what? I can rap faster than your son Dash!

Your movies weren't Incredible. I'd even go as far as to say

That I'll take the Fantastic Four movies over yours any day!

Call me Syndrome, 'cause I'm gonna start another Super massacre

You have a bratty kid and a pretty wife? Boy, that sounds familiar!

You're an out-of-shape geriatric. I should send you to the Retirement Castle

That way I wouldn't have to bother rapping against you in this battle!

Mr. Incredible:

If I'm an out-of-shape geriatric, then how about I throw you out like my old boss?!

Since you're from the meanest city in America, I wouldn't be surprised if no one cried over your loss

You think you'll win? Your chances of victory are like a Mirage!

Just Skipperdoo from this battle and continue getting car-crashed in your garage!

Your first verse was like your show; it got worse every minute

The only beef you've brought is from the steak you couldn't even finish!

While you are poisoning the minds of your children with your stupidity

My family and I are always saving those who are in need!

Homer Simpson:

Why you little...! Are you saying that I'm a bad dad?!

Well, don't school me on parenting, 'cause it's obvious you don't know Jack-Jack!

Your ego and desire for attention almost tore your family apart!

Try to insult this man and I'll strangle you like you were Bart!

Let me tell you something, Bob, but it's gonna be sad

Your glory days are over, man, and that's a fact!

Mr. Incredible:

My glory days are over? Now that's a bit of a stretch

I'm still celebrated, while your Undermined jokes make people retch!

I'll take my Incredimobile and I'll Hit & Run you over

Then I'll roast you on an Open Fire once this battle's over!

You'll never be on my level. I'm just simply the Best

Because I'm out doing my job and all you want to do is take rests!

At least when I make a comeback, people don't groan

With bars cold as ice cream, you could say that you just got Frozowned!

Homer Simpson:

Mmm...ice cream bars. No wait, I have to concentrate!

You don't whether to be Super or be Mr. Mom! Get your priorities straight!

I'm pretty sure that you got all of your rhymes from that one tailor

It took me loads of Duff to even sit through your movie trailer!

Whatever, I'm done with you. I'll be over at Moe's.

Wait, I still have one more line to go? D'oh!

Well, you say that you serve justice, but why not just actually get the bad guy!

I bet it's gonna take fourteen years before you come back with better rhymes!

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC-

(The logo suddenly gets frozen by zero-point energy and gets thrown around before freeing itself)

RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!

Epilogue
"Things got pretty ugly after that battle," said Homer. "We punched each for a bit and then he held me by the neck and threw me across the ground."

"Did you tell anyone about this?" asked Rick.

"No, but I was about to tell my wife Marge about it." Homer replied.

"Not only do I now have a bunch of broken bones in my body, now I'm worried that I lost that rap battle. I wish I can completely forget about this so that I wouldn't have to live with the thought of losing."

"Don't worry, Homer," responded Rick as he set up a device and pointed the laser to Homer's forehead. "Soon, you're going to forget that any of this ever happened."

"Wait, really- D'oh!" Homer blurted as he suddenly became unconscious. The device had erased any traces of Mr. Incredible in Homer's mind.

Poll
 Who won? Homer Simpson Mr. Incredible