User blog:Croutonic Relationship/Decent Rap Battles of Mediocrity: Scatman John vs. Eminem

Scatman John:
Hey Slim, just fill us in on what you're into

'Cause you drop so many hints its like, "One dick? Nah, I can fit two."

But still, I'll just admit, I'm quite afraid of what you might do

Because fair-haired aryan fairies like you just like to fight jews

You're blue-eyes white draggin' like it's Yu-Gi-Oh

I'll make you drop out like high school, Marshall Rubio

You think you're hot shit? You're not shit, you just don't Mather

After your songs about your daughter, how the fuck do you still have her?

Your wife left you? No shit, you misogynistic prick

Shady just can't win a lady with his tiny baby dick

Rhymes never rest, like Everest, just take a look I'm at the top

I'll take a scat right on your chest like Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop!

Eminem:
W-w-w-what was that? What the fuck, they cured cancer just to bring you back?

Newslash, this fucker stutters and just says its rap

Now, watch me kick him in the dick and call that hackey scat

You don't wanna fuck with me, I'm indestructable

The antithesis lyricist, make money, you're raps deductible

This shit ain't Scatman's World, but Larkin's lurking in the park

And why's a Jew dress like that dude from Raiders of the Lost Ark?

John, I've got you stranded, you're Eight Miles out to sea

Too bad your lungs are so fucked up you didn't notice you can't breathe

I'm a legend, your discography's shit, ain't worth scat

You'll never touch me, but then again, I guess I'm too old for that

Scatman John:
"Oh, boo hoo, when I was young I wasn't rich!"

Man, "Eminem" is right, you're just a candy-coated bitch

I Love the Way You Lie, battered and beaten on the ground

Must be hard to win your battles when there's no women around

Eminem:

I've got 15 fucking Grammies, what do you have, a paperweight?

I'm just hanging in my mansion, you're more fucked than Sharon Tate!

Welcome to the Eminem ShoW, our first guest, a stuttering corpse!

Who'd be more understandable if he recorded his songs in Morse!

Scatman John:
What's with all the hate, you pasty fish-eyed fuck?

Can't you understand it's just one world, with one love?

Man, chill the fuck out, no one cares about what your name is

Without Dr. Dre you'd have never been famous!

Eminem:
I'm a living legend, hear the "living"? That's important!

You're a 40-plus turtle-looking fucker, I'm getting bored, man!

One rapper, one hippy,one Evil, one good

Two throats, hole in one, like its Tiger Woods!