Board Thread:Speculation Board/@comment-25763997-20141125183520

Note: Because it's hard to imagine two old men rapping it oun, imagine just younger versions of these guys

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

'''DAVE THOMAS! Versus! COLONEL SANDERS!'''

Begin!

Thomas:

Oh, hey there General Custer, didn't know you would be in,

Oh wait, that's Colonel Sanders the one that taught to sin.

I worked for you, respected you, I grew you profits that you split in two!

I've got more beef than what Clara knew! Now I've got restaurants named after little Lou!

It's crazy people believe in this senile old man, who owns crappy restaurants from L.A. to Japan.

We both died of cancers, and I'm sure it's right, but you can't eat if you make food you can't bite.

Sanders:

I lay sin on the one that grew up in New Jersey,

At least I've got better raps than Snoop Dogg and Fergie.

My grooves are even sicker than E.coli,

I was enrolled in the army, I bet you don't know why,

On my death bed, I say with my last lying breath, show this old punk how to cook a breast.

(Cinematics: Stage pixelates and turns into Mcdonalds and Burger King restaurants)

Ronald McDonald:  

You better move! Before I snap your plastic head in half

I despite your beard, you look like William Howard Taft,

and King Henry the Eighth, had a royalty baby

who tried to give us all a laugh.

Ooh! Now you're gonna hate me!

The Burger King:

Look at ya, you mental little clown,

don't make me turn that smile into a frown.

Don't mention Taft, when you're the one with hips,

I'll make you go red, just like your lips.

You're quiet like a mime, mute as a mouse.

Now I'll steal from you faster than the McDonald house. 