User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature 11: Edgar Allan Poe vs Slimebeast

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature!

For the longest time, I refused to use Poe because I was scared that I wouldn't do him or George Watsky justice. I think I now have enough confidence in myself to attempt it.

Feedback is appreciated. I've been going through a lot of stuff recently and it may have affected my rapping but I'm not going to stop this 'one a week'. There's too many ideas and so little time.

So I hope this is fantastic/good/good enough/not insulting to either author.

This rap battle pits iconic horror pioneer and poet, Edgar Allan Poe, against Creepypasta author and rap battle writer, Slimebeast, to decide whether the original is still the best, or have the new kids improved things?

Enjoy!

Beat: Fear of Terror (Play at 1.25 speed)

Edgar Allan Poe
(starts at 0:23)

I am insulted that I was even paired up against you.

Slimebeast, you’re a Zero. Forget about your Room.

You can’t end stories properly. They just…run out.

Even Dupin cannot figure you out.

You are an Amateur. Literally a Mickey Mouse writer,

Who probably writes one draft in a no-breaks all-nighter.

You should be taken and buried alive for these crimes.

Chris, you are just a monstrous waste of time.

Slimebeast
(starts at 0:41)

You may have been the first but your stories have aged.

They’re now just archaic yawn-fests on the public domain.

You’re a centuries-old writer confined to one media.

Who’s guilty of incest and paedophilia.

Every writer who crosses Slimebeast gets engulfed.

This Black Cat’s getting mauled by the big bad Wolf.

So you’re stuck in the cellar while I’m all over the internet.

You may be a legend, but you’re definitely no threat.

Edgar Allan Poe
(starts at 0:58)

To have made such claims, you must have no scruples.

You’re less ‘Creepypasta’ and more ‘Instant noodles’.

I distilled Horror from Gothic with my renowned poetry flow.

Just remember you’re only famous because of Edgar Allen Poe.

You must be truly crazy if you think you deserved your shot.

Mind full of darkness yet mad I am not.

So go on, Wolf, you lunatic. Howl at the Moon.

I’ll cut the tape to your Lost Episodes and leave you in your cartoon.

Slimebeast
(starts at 1:16)

I don’t care about all your overrated poems.

‘Cuz when this Geek Raps, they’ll all see your age is showing.

This is the future, and I’ve earned my place at the top.

Still writing horror stories, and I’m never gonna stop!

Because like your choice of wife, it’s all relative;

Cut me up, I’ll reattach myself in photonegative.

Because I actually make peeps scared. You just make them sleepy.

You’ve invoked my wrath. Now I’ll show you how to be Creepy!

O)_(O

Edgar Allan Poe
(no beat)

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raven What is your problem with me? Why do you attack and haunt me so?]

Slimebeast
O)_(O

Edgar Allan Poe
Wretch! Thing of evil! Go back to the obscure writing blog where you belong, away from the eyes of readers who look for quality!

Slimebeast
O)_(O

Edgar Allan Poe
Stop that! Stop it right now! Leave here! You are beginning to unnerve me. Do not stare, unmoving. Begone from here at once!

Slimebeast
O)_(O

Poll
WHO WON? Edgar Allan Poe Slimebeast