User blog:Awesomesix/Epic Rap Battles of Spongebob: Vader vs Hitler 4

This would've made more sense before the movie

Battle
 *The camera shows Vader, SpongeBob, and Patrick on the Flying Dutchman, following a ghost.* 

Vader:

Where did it go?

SpongeBob:

I dunno… where did that ghost go?

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

DARTH VADER

Patrick:

You guys are my best friends!

Vader:

Agreed!

VERSUS!

 *The ghost finally reveals himself, showing to be…* 

ADOLF HITLER!

BEGIN!

Vader:

Number four in action, the final rap attraction,

Like Space Mountain, I spit like a fountain, founding reactions!

Don’t call me black, you whack! Racism is racist! I can’t take it!

You’re ugly, bug me, smell fugly and tried to kill my favorite races!

I wear socks under this suit! I bet you’re naked under your clothes!

I hope I don’t catch the sleazy sneeze disease under your nose!

I’m a unicorn; I’ll stab you with my dreaded red horn, you bore,

That’s not a racist Mexican joke! I bet you watch porn!

I’ll throw you, and choke you, hoe dude, like I’m supposed to!

Your ass couldn’t beat me or defeat me in something like Sudoku!

I am the real Slim Shady, you crazy lady, and I can stand up real big!

You’re just jealous you smell, bitch, and don’t have a big fridge!

Hitler:

Is your refrigerator running? I don’t want your food getting warm!

I don’t like to play video games because they make me bored!

You better take off your helmet; you’ll mess up your hair!

Oh, that’s right! You’re bald! I bet this battle isn’t fair!

Because you’re a great rapper, Vader and I really suck!

OH NO, VADER, LOOK OUT! I see a duck!

Haha! Tricked you! The only duck I see is you!

Because of the silly thing that I just made you do!

Get my joke? I think it was really super clever!

I may be good, but you’re the best rapper ever!

I am a dictator, and that’s a word with a naughty part!

That’s right, I hate tater tots! A man stole my heart!

Stalin:

I am not Stalin! But at the same time I am!

I may not have candy, but I do have a van!

Anuses turn me on, Hitler! I need some help!

So do vaginas! Although sometimes they smell!

Just like YOU! That setup was great, don’t you think!

OH WAIT, YOU DON’T! That’s a dumb thing to say! Wink!

I’m winking at you because I have something in my eye!

Vader is black because he has really nice thighs!

I am not a Martian, but I know you’re out of this world, Vader!

Because STAR WARS! More like, see you later!

Because you are losing! Unlike me!

I rap oh so very so much mighty, you see?

Khan:

KHAN! That is my name, I like to hear it!

I may be an Asian, but I still like “Smells like Teen Spirit”!

Because I am cool, and hip, and jive,

Unlike you guys, who aren’t even alive!

I ring doorbells, and run! I’m a ding dong ditcher!

I like Jackie Robinson, he was a good… pitcher!

Thought I would say something else? I don’t speak English!

That’s truly what the thingy thing is!

I wear a bucket helmet because I cry in my sleep!

If you don’t believe me, look at my sheets!

I gave them eye holes so I don’t drown!

Hitler looks like a clown! Wow!

Hitler:

That’s not nice! You need to learn your manners!

I don’t want to break my fingers, so I don’t use hammers!

Vader:

Hey, that’s not fair, you got more lines!

It’s my time to shine! Prepare to be fined!

Obama:

I am Obama, and I am Obama.

I don’t want to cause drama.

So I brought some llamas.

In pajamas.

Bahamas.

Yo mama.

Mitt Romney:

ERUUUURUGH!

*Mitt Romney lays an egg, which hatches into...*

Kim Jong-Un:

I am real leader! You are all dumb!

I am cool, so go suck your thumbs!

I am not saying ching-chong, so you all think wrong!

Genghis likes to ditch doorbells? Guess what! DING DONG!

I am cool, and I said that already!

Eminem take it away!

Eminem:

Mom’s spaghetti.

Watson:

OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

SpongeBob:

Wow, that was a sick burn!

Patrick:

AAAH! SOMEONE’S ON FIRE!

 *everyone laughs together as the camera zooms out of the outro.* 

Squidward:

What the hell was that?

It wasn't even good rapping, it was just garbage! Time for me to show these idiots what real rapping is!

My di-

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

WHO DECIDE!

WHO

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

Help me, they’re holding me hostage!

I’m sending an S.O.S. to anyone who can hear!

It’s lonely in this room, I need some help…

I’m tied up… my location is-

 *The sound of a gunshot is heard and is followed by static.* 

Who Won? Darth Vader Adolf Hitler Someone else