Voltaire

"Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing!"

- Voltaire

Voltaire battled the Eastern Philosophers as part of the Western Philosophers, alongside Socrates and Nietzsche in Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers. He was portrayed by Zach Sherwin.

Information on the rapper
Voltaire (birth name: François-Marie Arouet) was born on November 21, 1694. He was a French Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher. He was known for his wit and his outspoken advocacy of freedom of religion and expression as well as the separation of church and state. He was openly against monotheistic religion, particularly Judaism, although his most well-known attacks were on the Catholic Church.

Voltaire was also an established and versatile writer, having written more than 20,000 letters and 2,000 books and pamphlets. He wrote in many literary forms, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. His most famous works are Candide, Zadig, and the Treatise on Tolerance. He used satire frequently, criticizing intolerance, religious dogma, and the French institutions of his day, all under the risk of suppression by strict censorship laws.

Voltaire is remembered and honored in France as a courageous polemicist who indefatigably fought for civil rights and who denounced the hypocrisies and injustices of the Ancien Régime. He particularly had admiration for the ethics and government as exemplified by Confucius. He is also known to have been an advocate for coffee (as he was reported to have drunk it 50–72 times per day), for his rivalry with Jean-Jacques Rousseau, and for his correspondences with many european sovereign in the XVIII century.

Lyrics
[Note: ''Voltaire's lyrics are in brown, while Socrates and Nietzsche are in regular text. Lines which all rappers say are italicized.'']

Verse 1:
I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium.

Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium!

The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention!

Rolling with the flyest nihilist,  and me, their French henchman!

We've got the wisdom  and the wit that even I couldn't question!

Dropping Western medicine  on these East infections!

It's evident  you've never been our type of mental brethren!

We're better thinkers, better speakers, better  lovers, better men!

Verse 2:
Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to

When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!

You need to take control of the life you're given!

They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven!

And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job!

Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab!

(Oh!) You flubbed the mission. I'm beating your submissive ass into submission!

Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing!

Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan!

Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man!

The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?"

You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping!

Verse 3:
I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe.

Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi,

'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E,

And I'll end any mother fucker like my name in a spelling bee!

Plebe? Bitch, I'm toxic like a hemlock sip!

Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick!

Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense!

Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment!

I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery!

You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee!

Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank,

Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks!

Scrapped lyrics
Sacré bleu, I'm the one you'll kowtow to,

When I squat down and drop a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!

Trivia

 * He is Zach Sherwin's first character to be on the same side as Nice Peter's character.
 * One of Voltaire's lyrics were scrapped, then reworked and given to Nietzsche.