User blog:JKGame/Neptune vs Segata Sanshiro: Epic Rap Battles of the Universe

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Remember those two battles that I said could happen after the previous one? Well, just kidding! Those will happen later.

So I was recently trying to find opponents for Neptune, and I was getting extremely close to putting her up against Wreck-It Ralph despite them having little-to-no connection. But I went on to do this instead mainly because it had a better connection. Plus, it was still a funny matchup, which I wanted to have with Neptune.

Let's get into the battle now.

"Ditzy CPU of Planeptune and the representation of the Sega Neptune from Hyperdimension Neptunia, Neptune, and famed martial artist and avid spokesperson of the Sega Saturn, Segata Sanshiro, battle each other to see who's better at representing a Sega console."

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

NEPTUNE!

VS!

SEGATA SANSHIRO!!!

BEGIN!

Segata Sanshiro:
After my sacrifice, I figured they would hire someone better to replace me

But instead, my successor is some little girl who only appeals to a bunch of weebs!

I'm the Saturn's legendary rep, a martial artist that can rival Chuck Norris

You're nothing but a lazy ditz who'd rather not do her job as a goddess!

Mark this the second time you got beaten the sh*t out of with absolute ease!

Needed her sister to save her in the sequel. Guess like a Dogoo, you're weak!

IF you try to go for a dissing, I'll send you right back to your Hyperdimension

Just like the console you rep, your Victory will never come into fruition!

Neptune:
Hey, whassup, Mr. Sanshiro? Pissed that your one mission flopped?

Even after it surpassed the 64, your console just couldn't keep up!

I leave people smiling and happy, you leave them to wince and whimper

Beating them up for doing normal stuff, and I thought Blanc had a bad temper!

How about you meet my Dream Cast? Let's see how well you really do!

Man, what's up with you and Sakura? Oh my, how lewd! *giggles*

I can still own you even if all I did was sing "Nep nep nep nep nep!"

When I use my CPU attack...well, we know how you fare against rockets!

Segata Sanshiro:
Despite your popularity in Japan, you couldn't gain traction in the west!

Like your games and Re;births, your verse was only mediocre at best!

I've dealt with the undead way before you started doing it for a movie

Your series are like the foes I've tossed: blew up and now deceased!

Put you in such pain that not even Compa will be able to help you recover

You've wasted time trading blows with your friends just to see who's more popular!

While I've been rocking the nation ever since I was the original Kamen Rider, kid!

Devoted myself to Sega Saturn training. You're a lesser Sega Hard Girl, kid!

Your Ideas for disses feel like they've soullessly produced in a Factory

So in the end, you're doomed like your sister did to you and Gamindustri!

You'll learn not to mess with me once you see me and my clones!

I've been in a superior role-playing game! It's called Project X Zone!

(Neptune then transforms into her HDD form, becoming...)

Purple Heart:
You want a worthier opponent? I'll show you a greater challenger!

I have con-Vert-ed to my HDD form! Now prepare to meet your Maker!

Do as you wish to me. I will counter your attacks a hundred fold, Segata!

What are you doing instilling Deep Fear in kids while dressing up as Santa?!

A homeless from the mountains thinks he's superior to a goddess? Blasphemy!

Your achievements mean nothing to me. Bet you'd even get beaten by Peashy!

Doesn't sound that absurd. You got your ass handed to you by a hedgehog!

Slice you with my ōdachi so fast you won't be able to Blast Process what's going on!

Your bars are like the one Sega Saturn game you starred in: basic and lame!

You're losing your fame with a console no one wants to play. Oh, it's truly a shame!

You're on thin ice, Segata! Users reading this knew who won from the start!

As time goes on, you'll always be known as just a Ryu Copypaste with a Black Heart!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!

EPIC-

(Segata appears and tosses the logo, causing to explode twice on impact.)

-Rap battle of the universe....!

Poll
Who won? Neptune/Purple Heart Segata Sanshiro

The Next Battle is...
Nakoruru vs Reimu Hakurei

Opponents in need of hire
Hatsune Miku

Psy

Mai Shiranui

Wreck-It Ralph

Gene (The Emoji Movie)