User blog:GingerbreadMeth/Funny Rap Battles of Parody 3 - Coca Cola vs Helen Keller

Hey guys! It's my THIRD Parody battle!!! It's great how there are battles every week now! They'll just get better from here! But back to the Parodies... I do need an ITunes cover for this one. I think Speed is still working on it, but if he can't then I could use help from someone else. Now, it's time for Coca Cola (Oprah) vs Helen Keller (Ellen). Enjoy!

WARNING: Some of these jokes may be UNINTENTIONALLY offensive towards the disabled. Please read with caution. Because here at FRP, we actually give a shit about you as a person. Thank you.

FUNNY RAP BATTLES OF PARODY!!!

COCA COLA

VS

HELEN KELLEEEEEEER!!!

BEGIN!

Coke:

Let me hit you with some knowledge like your teacher Ann Sullivan

They can give me the Royal Crown now cause I'll surely win

I've Sunkist the stars, the world's most popular soft drink

My rhymes are golden like caramel, l can steal a win in an eye blink

You'll need a Miracle Worker to have a chance, don't give me any disabled shtick

Call me The Who, cause I'm dissing this deaf, dumb and blind chick

But I respect you, Helen, and I'll serve you with Honest Tea

Thinking you can beat me is just a Fanta-sy

Helen:

Calm down, stay Mello Yello, cause all your rhymes have failed

I'll whack you harder than my cane, make you bumpy like braille

I can read, I'm a novelist, you're nothing but a glasshole

I'm like Philip Seymour Hoffman, cause I'm about to hit the bottle

Your verses are plain Vanilla, you have yet to pop your Cherry

You say you're popular, but numbers don't lie, you're a slave to Pepsi

Those raps were all crap, you must be high off cocaine

Like all your drinkers were back in 1918

Coke:

In Sprite of those facts, I've still got the Power-ade

I'm shipped around the world, everyone drinks my juices, you can't get laid

I know beating a disabled girl will be controversial

But I'm ice cold like the polar bears in my Super Bowl commercial

Helen:

Like Gold Peak or Java Monster, your lyrics are all hits and misses

You could become New Coke and still sell me Zero disses

Going up against soda, I'm strong like a shot of Jaeger

You'll need treatment for these burns, go make an appointment with Dr. Pepper

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU CAN'T DECIDE!

Who won? Coca Cola Helen Keller