User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/ParaNorman vs Cole Sear. Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5

Recent Activity is really dead right now. Hopefully, this will revive it.

Lol. Did you guys really think I wasn’t going to do this battle? lmao. Anyways, welcome back to Season 5 of Epic Rap Battles of Horror. This is a suggestion that’s been around for a long time. It basically summarizes everything I wanted to do with this series. Let’s just kinda dive into it. The main character of the animated 2012 film of the same name, ParaNorman, raps against protagonist of M. Night’s only good film, Cole Sear , to see who’s the superior child to see and interact with the dead. This battle was suggested by a lot of people, but one of the bigger supporters was Cave so shout out to him since I kept on saying I wasn't going to do it (even though he probably didn't believe that for a second.) Red vs Clover is still unlikely tho so sorry fam. There’s a lot more connections about these two that I won’t bother to go into, but that’s basically the underlining theme. A main part, as you can guess, is mostly contrast. Anyways, hope you enjoy the battle. Let me know what you think, what lines stood out, etc. As always, thanks for reading.

Story
“...and the princess and the prince lived happily ever after. The end.”

Thunder echoes in the distance, leaving an ominous feeling to the graveyard. With the clapping sound of a book closing, the silence that was once pertinent was brought back.

A young boy with a red hoodie stands in front of an ancient grave, as he packs the novel “Sleeping Beauty” back into his school bag. He turns to his silent friend and nods, before ushering towards the exit. The two begin to walk out, silently whispering about the strange happenings that have been occurring over the past few days.

“Norman, you’re smart, what caused that freak snowfall last night?”

“I’m working on an explanation with two friends of mine, but we haven’t come to any conclusions yet. I don’t know.”

Just then, the wind picked up. Leaves spiraled into the air, the trees swayed back and forth, and a voice rose from behind them.

“Norman Babcock!”

The two boys froze solid. Norman quickly pushed his friend behind a tombstone and turned around to face the mysterious voice.

The fog cleared, and revealed a young boy, dressed in a suit and dress pants.

“Do not pretend you do not know who is responsible for this inclement weather!” The boy accused.

“Who are you?” Norman shouted back over the wind.

“My name is Cole Sear. You may not know it yet, but we both share a gift. The ability to see the dead.”

“How did you…”

“You have met with the Witch. You have spoke with her. Fought with her. You know she must be responsible for these happenings!”

“Agatha? No! She’s not bad… she’s just afraid.”

“Quiet.” Cole hissed, “You’ve been keeping her anchored to this realm for too long with your silly storybook. I have come here to fulfill her purpose on earth, and set her free to the afterlife she deserves to be in.” He took hold of the story book from Norman and tore it from his hands.

“You don’t know Aggie.” Norman began, stepping towards Cole. “She doesn’t want to leave. You won’t be saving anyone.”

“And that is where you are wrong, Norman. Should she have another outbreak, the world itself may crumble before us. You must resurrect her and allow me to save us all.”

“If you want to find her…” Norman began

Neil stepped out from behind the tombstone, stepping forward to stand alongside his friend.

“You’ll have to get through US.”

“...so be it, then.”

Key
Cole Sear in this color

Dr. Malcolm in this color

Norman Babcock in this color

Neil Downe in this color

Agatha in this color (full power is this color )

Mitch Downe in this color

Courtney Babcock in this color

Judge Hopkins in this color

Beat: Stackin Up

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR



VS!



BEGIN!

Norman & Neil:
Heed this warning; A storm is coming to stop your motions much like my art form,

My roarin’ performing leaves kids wanting more like Norman, Norman, NORMAN!

Something you need to know; My dead-raising head contains things that can’t be explained

So take your shady claims and stay out of my way, ‘cause I’ve got the brawn and the BRAAAINS

SSSSS… The angry mobs go bonkers awaiting this slaughter,

Torches rise as I spit hotter, to walk up and down this goner like an M. Nightcrawler

May be praised by critics, but it’s just for his simplistic ending that even dimwits know,

But are there really ghosts? Frick no! That’s the plot twist, bro! The kiddo’s a crazy schizo!

Cole Sear:
Doctor? Yes, Cole? I’m being haunted by the cartoon Frodo and Sam. Please,

elaborate. His flows so dead, it must have been written by his granny

Is that all? Mostly, he’s got a perverted obese beast he brings with him, though

Name’s Neil, but he’s so dense, you’d swear he’s got Downe syndrome

My horror shines borderline lore divine; “Ghosts” are just hopes of Paranorman’s mind

And when you wage this war of mine, you’ll be horrified to the Core-aline

But when could he win? When he’s awake? No. That’s as likely as his sequel,

But in his dreams? Still no. His future unfolds, and I see dead people

Norman:
The only way you could kill me is if I was forced to sit through your movie,

The Dead are Coming; You’ll meet true Maleficence when you awaken the Sleeping Beauty



Aggie:
I HATE that story! I HATE this puny baby that I’ve been brought back from the grave to slay!

With one line of dialogue he banks all of his fame off of, and yet still nobody knows his name!

The flawless goddess will leave you in a coffin; Then I’ll take that and stomp on it!

You leave me nauseous; A bigger toxin to the track then your director is to the box office!

I’ll tear apart every bone in your body and pAINT PICTURES USING WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR HEAD!



Well, that was frightening. It’s all fun and games until someone raises the dead.

Cole Sear:
And so you’ve risen a freak to the beat; But you’ll find no better bully than these remains,

Left decaying and yet she claims she was framed; No friends, but still likes to hang

I’m stacking up facts to rain wrath upon the out-matched hag named Aggie,

Call this fight Gravity, ‘cause this psychopath never should have crossed paths with me

But perhaps you’re not so evil as you seem; I aim to redeem you and your legend,

Since your presence is based on an unjust sentence; Premature death invokes your vengeance,

So disappear for another year, your curse ends here; You can’t invoke my fears,

I’ll burn the witch to tears. Play with hot Coals, and get Sear’d

Norman, Neil & Aggie:
Cute story, but I’m not listening. It’s almost Midnight. Listen as the clock ticks,

You can speak to the dead, but can’t rap against them; Both tragic, and ironic.

Gore galore will pour when we score this quarrel, you’ll learn morals from this immortal

You’re a B-rate freeway to every cliche. You don't become a hero by being normal

Cole Sear:
Even Mitch could shoot a straighter diss, against my wits, you’re all headed for trouble,

Crumbling this klutz and his tubby bud to rubble, you’ll kick the bucket just like your uncle

I’m Who You’re Gonna Call; Rendered your incestous spectre ancestors buried already

‘cause I’ve got six senses, but your rapping doesn’t make any.

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF-

(The digustingly poor quality logo of Season 1 appears behind the current logo, transparent. It begins making a "ooooh" noise.)

'''JESUS CHRIST! HORROR!' (The logo speeds off)''

Ending
Agatha lost control over her temper and slammed her feet down into the earth, splitting the graveyard completely in two with a huge ravine. Cole scowled, as he tossed the novel into the ravine below, walking away. Neil celebrated, but Norman sighed to himself and began to exit the graveyard.

“What’s wrong, Norman?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, bye Aggie!”

Agatha shot an angry look at Neil, which had no effect on him as he can’t see her.

“She said bye.”

“No I didn’t.”

“And good night.”

“Don’t lie to him.”

“Oh. Thanks Agatha!”

“NORMAN.”

Norman smirked a bit before exiting the graveyard, only looking back once more at the ghost dressed in red who he did not recognize. He waved to her. She did not wave back.

Outro


Who Won? ParaNorman Cole Sear

HINT DECODING:

Carbon's Atomic Number: Carbon is the technical term for Coal. Its atomic number is Six. Coal = Cole, Six = Sixth Sense

Seth Brundles Grave: Basically, graveyards signify dead people. That's about as simple as it gets lol

Naughty List: People who are on the naughty list get Coal for Christmas. Once again, Coal = Cole

Dipper & Coraline: This was foreshadowing, more than a hint. When Aggie's curse begins, the skys turn green and black, and a giant face of a stereotypical witch appears in the clouds. As mentioned, Dipper, Coraline and ParaNorman are a super popular theme for crossovers. Like, RIDICULOUSLY popular theme. Coraline says "not again" because she was made by the same director as ParaNorman. Not really even a hint, lol, it's a story thing more than anything.