User blog:Gliscor Fan/Epic Rap Battles: Pokemon vs History Generation 2: Milotic vs Aphrodite

Welcome back to the one rap series that no one really thought they'd ever see again for some reason.

Today, we have a battle that I've been wanting to do for a really long time, since I've actually started this series, which is Milotic, Pokemon's counterpart to gyarados for Contests and Beauty, against the Greek Goddess of Love Herself, Aphrodite.

So, allow me to seduce you all with the smoothest rhymes is the biz.

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES: POKEMON VS HISTORY

MILOTIC

VERSUS

APHRODITE

BEGIN!

Aphrodite
Well, the Goddess of Love has entered the temple

From Paphos to Cyprus, the folk call me beautiful

I’m a maiden with Cute Charm, you’re an aborted baby Ariel

Hysterical! I’m twice as good, Aphroditus is my stereo

I have doves and sparrows, you have an Attack Stat so Narrow

You couldn’t even harm Hephaestus with an Aqua Tail

I’m a cult classic, you can’t contest me at pageants

You’re an over glorified symbol of beauty that looks phallic!

Milotic
How quaint, such bold nature from a Goddess

Who doesn’t have any talent or abilities to harness

People marvel at my scales, and everyone remains calm

While you’re over in greece acting like a MILF of a mom

And Please, I’m a wonder when it comes to Contests

I’m at the Master Rank, while you’re normal, at best

My attack stat is balanced by my special defense

While the endless STDs are the reason why you’re so dense

Aphrodite
I’M DENSE? You’re the queen of Pokemon Furry Porn!

I was created from sea foam, how the fuck were you born?

My appearance alone brings out the sexual maniacs

My medicine works wonders, take some aphrodisiac!

You may be carefree enough to float in the air,

But I created love for all Men, Women, Children, and Bears!

I’m the original creator of the LGBT, you couldn’t try to fight me

So why don’t you go back to the bottom of your lake, Geez.

Milotic
Queen of Furry Porn? I thought Gardevoir had that taken

But anyway, the sea foam must’ve had your brain mis-shapen Your offerings included flowers, incense, and whine

Which explains why you’re complaining about me all the time

Now, allow me to attract all that attention you’re given

To show you exactly how hephaestus is livin’

While you’ve been having an affair with Ares

You may call yourself a goddess, but you act like a Fairy

Outro
WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC

RAP

BATTLES

POKEMON

(Ohhhh yeaaaaahhhhh babbbyyy)

VS HISTORY

Rap Meanings
Aphrodite:

Well, the Goddess of Love has entered the temple

(Aphrodite, Being a Goddess of Greece, has multiple temples built in her name. She has entered one of her own temples in an attempt to make Milotic one of her followers.)

From Paphos to Cyprus, the folk call me beautiful

(The Common Folk, or Plebians, of Greece tend to associate Aphrodite's appearances with Beauty.)

I’m a maiden with Cute Charm, you’re an aborted baby Ariel

(Aphrodite considered herself to be the epitome of all that is beautiful, while also implying that Milotic looks like an aborted mermaid compared to herself)

Hysterical! I’m twice as good, Aphroditus is my stereo

(According to lore, Aphrodite had a male counterpart named Aphroditus, who looks similar to Aphrodite in appearance. The term 'Stereo' in music is a recording with two tracks combined into one. Aphrodite is claiming that herself is twice as good as Milotic as she is not just a Goddess, but also a God.)

I have doves and sparrows, you have an Attack Stat so Narrow

(Doves and Sparrows were commonly referred too as Aphrodite's honorary animals, given that Doves are known for love. Milotic has a basic attack stat of 60, regarded as rather weak.)

You couldn’t even harm Hephaestus with an Aqua Tail

(Aphrodite is claiming that if Milotic tried to use Aqua Tail, a water-type move, on Hephaestus, the Greek God of Fire, it would be ineffective due to Milotic's low attack stat.)

I’m a cult classic, you can’t contest me at pageants

(Being the Goddess of Beauty, Aphrodite claims that she is above Milotic in beauty pageants.)

You’re an over glorified symbol of beauty that looks phallic!

(Milotic is commonly referred too as the Symbol of Beauty in pokemon, and is repeatedly stated to have beauty no one could describe. Aphrodite claims that Milotic is overly glorified by this trait and actually just looks like a dick.)

Milotic:

How quaint, such bold nature from a Goddess

(The Bold Nature comes from the pokemon games, in which it's an increased stat growth for defense and decreased for attack. Milotic is saying that Aphrodite may come off as courageous, but is being more defensive about her title.)

Who doesn’t have any talent or abilities to harness

(Most Greek Gods have various talents and abilities that make them one of the 12 head Gods. Aphrodite, as Milotic is saying, doesn't have any abilities or talent that would put her there, and that she doesn't belong as a Goddess)

People marvel at my scales, and everyone remains calm

(Marvel Scales is an ability possessed by Milotic. However, this is also a reference to how Milotic is said to have unexplainable beauty and can calm anyone just by being there.)

While you’re over in greece acting like a MILF of a mom

(In varius myths, Gods and Goddesses are usually out and about, trying to actively have sex with mortals to make Demigods. Aphrodite, being the Goddess of Love, would have the most pleasure in doing so. a "MILF" is an acronym for "Mother I'd Like to Fuck", and Aphrodite would sometimes come off as motherly in order to seduce humans.)

And Please, I’m a wonder when it comes to Contests

(Milotic was made specifically to be the contest version of Gyarados.)

I’m at the Master Rank, while you’re normal, at best

(Master Rank is the highest form of a contest in hoenn, while Normal is entry-level.)

My attack stat is balanced by my special defense

(Milotic is saying that while her attack stat is low, her special defense balances it out by being high. This would mean that Milotic can take more insults than Aphrodite can, because she has a higher tolerance to people mocking her.)

While the endless STDs are the reason why you’re so dense

(Some STD's cause the loss of Brain Cells, I think. I don't know. Aphrodite has a lot of sex, there's bound to be at least one.)

Aphrodite:

I’M DENSE? You’re the queen of Pokemon Furry Porn!

(Aphrodite is calling out Milotic for calling her dense, insinuating that she's an idiot because she has a fanbase of Furry porn and furries are idiots. I don't know where this was going.)

I was created from sea foam, how the fuck were you born?

(Aphrodite's Origin Story is basd off of Uranus's dick falling into the ocean and Aphrodite being made from the sea foam of the resulting wave. Nobody apparently knows how Milotic was born.)

My appearance alone brings out the sexual maniacs

(Aphrodite's appearance is heavily regarded as the most sexually stimulating of all the Greek Gods. It drives sexual maniacs, men and women, wild.)

My medicine works wonders, take some aphrodisiac!

(Aphrodisiac is like Viagra for Women. It creates immense pleasure, which is what Aphrodite is telling Milotic to have about her.)

You may be carefree enough to float in the air,

(In one episode of the anime, Milotic floats in the air. Nobody knows how. Anime Logic.)

But I created love for all Men, Women, Children, and Bears!

(As the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite created love. The whole "bears" thing is just a reference to Wonder being gay and his profile picture is a bear.)

I’m the original creator of the LGBT, you couldn’t try to fight me

(There are two versions of Aphrodite is some lore, one that created homosexual love, and another that created Lesbian love. Aphrodite is letting Milotic know that if she tries to fight her, all of the LGBT community will murder her)

So why don’t you go back to the bottom of your lake, Geez.

(Milotic's live at the bottom of large lakes. I don't know.)

Milotic:

Queen of Furry Porn? I thought Gardevoir had that taken

(Gardevoir is more commonly known for being a leader in Furry Pornography.)

But anyway, the sea foam must’ve had your brain mis-shapen

(Another reference to Aphrodite's origin. Milotic is saying that her fathers dick must've hit her on the head when she was born, which is why she made such a stupid mistake considering her the queen of furry porn.) Your offerings included flowers, incense, and whine

(Modern Day followers of Aphrodite tend to use Flowers, Incense, and Wine as offerings to her. The last thing is a pun because all Aphrodite is doing is whining about how people don't consider her to be the most beautiful.)

Which explains why you’re complaining about me all the time

(Whine/Complaning. I don't need to explain shit.)

Now, allow me to attract all that attention you’re given

(Aphrodite clamors from attention, so Milotic is taking that away from her for a split second in order to show her something.)

To show you how hephaestus is livin’

(Aphrodite is Hephaestus's wife. However, due to a frequent affair with Ares, Hephaestus is probably pissed off.)

While you’ve been having an affair with Ares

(Aphrodite had multiple affairs with Ares, some of which caused other minor gods, such as Cupid, or Eros. Hephaestus was never happy about this marriage.)

You may call yourself a goddess, but you act like a Fairy

(Fairies are commonly portrayed in fiction as mischevious, child-like creatures. Milotic is saying that Aphrodites actions are more akin to a child than a goddess.)

poll
Who Won? Milotic Aphrodite