User blog:Hippie Rat/Homer vs Dante

Okay. I think I'm going to quit with the who's next poll until my season 3. This is 27, Mark Twain vs Louis C.K. will be 28, Animation East vs West will be 29, and my big ol' season 2 finale will be 30 (ugh I've had writer's block on Mega Man for a while now). Anyway, here's this battle between the Italian Epic poet, Dante Alighieri, against the Greek Epic poet, Homer. Turned out cool. I personally think at least. Enjoy :)

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Dante vs Homer! Begin!

Dante:

Midway through the journey of my life I climbed the heights of bite-

Your-ass-off climates hot as my spit fire higher than light, I'm a pyre!

Evviva! You couldn't rid all of your demons in purgatori,

I be fucking up enough demons to make the Devil Cry.

Hendecasyllabic to fuck up a bitch,

Ain't bringing you back to life, fuck I look like? Fullmetal alchemist?

I own Homer allegro with the rest of the Homeridae,

(slowly) While your shit raps are andante.

So go home-er, cause when the Greeks see me,

They like "we just got one-upped by the OG from Flow-rence, Italy".

Abandon all hope ye who try to rap me,

Can't heckle me with a hectyl nor spontaneous spondee.

Pride is a deadly sin, so I humbly accept my win, but just so you know,

The Simpsons stopped being funny twenty hundred years ago.

Homer:

I'm the protos, muthafucka, so cut the crap,

Because when I step to the mic, it's literally an Epic rap.

I'm the hip-hoppinest hymn homeric that's came to flow,

And you should remember that, because everybody, anybody, even Nobody knows!

I invented rap battles and taught all tragedians,

Mainstreamed rhapsodies, while your writes be bohemian.

And now it seems you're choking like you're riding Satan's third wheel,

Who would've guessed a gyro rap would be your Achilles Heel?

I'm kicking you out of this battle, Black-Guelph-style,

You'll find a sandal up your ass and add that to the file,

Of "two hundred years later find I" out-spoke Romantic,

And man I'm glad I'm blind to that whack-ass strap across your chin.

I'm the illiest with the Iliad, but don't think you'll escape my Inferno,

When my raps have more obstacles than a post-war stroll home.

I'll collapse your dreams like Calypso's by Athena,

Sure, you can kill the man, but I'm the idea!

My raps are the Paradiso you call comedy, bitch,

I spit half the shit you'll dig up in Egypt.

Dante:

Please, I'll wipe my ass with papyrus, your oral reports wrote on them,

You couldn't penetrate Troy with one of their condoms.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Poll
Who won? Homer Dante