User blog:Joeaikman/Augustus Caesar vs Captain America - MFRB Episode 1

Woah, Joe, you fucking ho. Is this a battle for a new series that you've been working on? Why yes, Joe, my lad. It is. This is a new series of battles without any real theme, made up of battles that I'd like to see ERB do. This series includes historical characters, fictional characters and a plethora of others. It also has some super special guests appearing very soon, so watch out for those. Anyways, in todays battle we have the first princeps of the Roman Empire, Augustus Caesar, lyrically duelling with the star spangled stud, Steve Rogers, to see who better represents their nation, with the added twist of both being civil war leaders! What a treat! I hope you enjoy. Let it begin!

Augustus Caesar
Ave, Captain! Let us battle on the better representation of a nation

Forty Two will be forgotten for I was at the forefront of the formation of dictation

I'm a Roman bruiser who's a class above any Avenger thrown toward me

This horny pensioner virgin cannot storm me, for the Sibylline Books forewarned me

I give penance in my vengeance quest to serve as my father's defendant

Your transcendent modern entrance saw you adulter with your girl's descendant

I'm resplendent as an emperor, the best of a long line of barbarian beaters

So throw aside the pizza and fall to your knees before your Caesar

Captain America
That the best you got? I'm in features fighting creatures with mad tech

You're killing brothers from another mother just because your dad's dead

I got a Stark at my back, and redemption for my bad friends

You abused power because there wasn't anything more to avenge

I gotta catch up on rap, because I was ice cold for so long

You're like a River Tiber rhymer because all you do is flow wrong

I've fought Thanos and friends, so you're my lowest foe to date

But start your second verse because I could do this all day

Augustus Caesar
This super soldier's serum is nothing compared to my legions

Of seasoned followers whose loyalty is known beyond reason

A pathetic specimen of strength, picked out only because you're plucky

Only started fighting to start getting lucky with Bucky

Captain America
You got laid out for Daddy, used as an amoral political tool

Then your daughter's sordid actions saw you a hypocritical fool

I got the vision and flows to shield my country from Hydra believers

This Caesar couldn't even protect his own nephew from a fever

Augustus Caesar
I've got the grip on an Empire whilst you're prancing in your spandex

From the Hawkeye school of no superpower besides being gymnastic

I'll send a part of ya to Parthia, demonstrate the gall I showed in Spain

And dictate in every which way that you shall suffer pain

I'm the litter Pater, you're a shitter battered version of Batman

Except he's Fortune 500 and you're running out of cash man

Some weak ass beard doesn't distract from being the weaker rhymer man

Only got your lame on in a film because of the missing rights to Spiderman

Captain America
Don't trip over your toga, Gus. I'm sorry for all the burns

But fighting slavers and dictators is sort of what I've learned

You're the first and worst in a legacy of vile tyrannies

Whilst I'm fighting for freedom, democracy and Lady Liberty

You tried to bully lesser peoples, but your evils saw your heirless

You'll drop like Lucius and Drusus, because in fighting me you were careless

So don't try to cross bones with me, or any one of my Avengers

Or else I'll have to put an end to the Age of an Emperor

Who Won? Augustus Caesar Captain America