User blog:NightFalcon9004/Grunkle Stan vs Mr. Krabs. Epic Cartoon Rap Battles 15

The greedy con artist who owns the Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan, and the founder of the Krusty Krab in SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs, rap against each other to see who is a greedier business owner. At the end, Mr. Burns, the richest Springfield citizen from The Simpsons, appears to prove he makes more than the two combined. Or something like that.

Beat produced by Cacola



Announcer: (0:14 - 0:29)

EPIC CARTOON RAP BATTLES!

GRUNKLE STAN!

VS!

MR. KRABS!

BEGIN!

Grunkle Stan: (0:31 - 1:00)

Let's see what this crustacean's made of with butter on the side,

'Cause Eugene's gettin' fried till he's dried like low tide.

I'll punch the armor abs on a krusty krab,

And tourist trap your customers to make mad cash for my shack!

I'm Stan the Man, Mister Mystery!

With journals of wizardry, I'll put you out of business and out of misery!

You're a crabby fatty selling crappy patties for a living.

We may not be generous, but here's a whooping that I'm giving ya.

Mr. Krabs: (1:00 - 1:30)

Time is money, and battling you is wasting me money!

You'll have a run for your money, so don't pickpocket me, sonny.

I drop raps like change for me pocket, rich like me profit.

Can't hit through me rock solid shell, thick like me wallet!

(Argh!) I've been in the navy; ya can't beat a sailor in this match.

You wear a fez, Squidward's nose, and a fake pirate patch!

I'd get a health inspector killed when he sees these sick skills,

So pay the bill and get your nasty face outta my grill!

Grunkle Stan: (1:30 - 2:00)

Pay attention to you? I'll ignore it like any fee,

And then bust this crustaceous cretaceous cheapskate for free.

Even Soos could have you beat, but I don't need him to blow you outta the sea

When I've got verbal abuse worse than your misuse of employees!

You went from Rag Boy to riches; now you're spoiled like your burgers.

Getting grease for grease, so this time, I'll make you take my orders!

I'll give your crew the boot and rob your loot until you beg for no more,

But winning against me is something you can't afford!

Mr. Krabs: (2:00 - 2:29)

Ha! I bet I could sink your shop like a ship without losing a cent

Because you're just a lazy bum. Try to walk a mile in me sea legs!

I'm livin' like Larry, so ya won't fool me today.

How ya make money is an oddity. Why don't ya put that on display?

Takin' bites like Jaws, then tossin' ya like anchor toss.

It's a lost cause to be penny-pinching against these claws.

I'm spittin' sea shanties spicier than me sauce.

Pearl could manage over your cranky ass. I'll always be the better boss!

Mr. Burns: (2:29 - 2:36)

A better boss, you say, eh? Make way for me!

The most powerful man in Springfield with a need for greed!

[Beat stops.]

Smithers! Reschedule my appointments so I can beat

This stingy Fish Hooks crab and the geezer from the Up movie!

Waylon Smithers:'

Right away, sir.

Mr. Burns: (2:29 - 3:13)

Excellent.

You poor saps, take a look at yourselves.

You corrupt chumps seem bankrupt compared to my wealth.

I'll bark commands at you when I release the hounds,

So do as I say, or I'll bulldoze you down to the ground!

I got cold hard raps like my old heart and cash.

Living it classy in a mansion while this lot has no fashion.

I run a power plant with hazardous schemes to civilians.

My being may be evil, but my net worth's at the billions!

I'll make y'all work for me now at minimum wage.

No raise, holidays, or vacations with pay.

In fact, you don't deserve a single buck that I've earned.

You're fired, and I left you Montgomery Burned.

Announcer: (3:13 - 3:29)

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC CARTOON...

CHA-CHING!

RAP BATTLES!

Who won? Grunkle Stan Mr. Krabs Mr. Burns