User blog:TJBoyd/ERB of TJBoyd 5: Eminem vs Howard Stern

I'm not as good of a rapper as Eminem, but I took some time, did my best, and tried to do his verses justice. It was a lot of fun researching Howard Stern while writing this. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did making it.

Howard Stern:

I’ve been told we have a call coming in from Detroit, Michigan. Is it another complaint? Yeah? I’ve been told it’s a complaint. Lets hear it.

Eminem:

Hello. This is Eminem. Am I talking to Howard?

Tell that coward to battle me if he feels impowered.

You’re gonna lose it. Faster than your job with Infinity.

To battle me. Takes another level of obscenity.

On a daily basis you insult entire races.

I dis individuals, I’d say it to their faces.

While you hide deep inside some Miami radio station.

Better close the doors if you disclose your location.

Howard Stern:

You’re a fatass white kid who calls himself Slim Shady.

Compared to me, you’re as obscene as the First Lady.

You act like a gangster, but you won’t say nigger.

You’re a wannabe. You’ve never pulled a trigger.

The fucking FCC literally fined me millions.

Fire me and I’d go piss off some random civilians.

I do not need a radio to be offensive.

It would just make my Freedom of Speech less expensive.

Eminem:

Do you think what you say matters to me. Because it doesn’t.

Your Wack Pack doesn’t stand a chance against my Dirty Dozen.

Why the fuck would you call yourself The King of All Media?

You probably don’t even own an encyclopedia.

And besides. What’s a king to a god, I wonder?

People worship me and the ground I was under.

Behind me, a mother fucking army gathers.

This is Marshal Law. Call me General Mathers.

Howard Stern:

Since nineteen-seventy nine I’ve broadcast my indecency.

My rap sheet puts to shame all the things you’ve rapped in recency.

You’re not a racist, but you still hate on she-males,

Homosexuals, feminists and females.

I don’t go out of my way to be the devil's minion.

Some people just flip a lid when I speak my opinion.

Of all the people on my show you’ve been the most retarded.

Thank you for your call, you’re opinions have been disregarded.

Who won? Eminem Howard Stern

Who's next? Nelly vs ??? Bob Dylan Bruce Cockburn John Lennon Joni Mitchell Leo Ferre Michael Jackson Paul McCartney Sheryl Crow Silvio Rodriguez Stevie Wonder Usher Willie Nelson