User blog:CamTheWoot/Cam's Rap Battles 01: Russell Brand vs Russell Howard

So how about that Team CKC, eh?

Yo bois, this is my first solo battle and what not. I got really bored and decided to write it. I get that it may be kinda specific (not too sure how well known these two are outside of the UK) but I hope you lot like it regardless. I might be making some more battles on my own or with that extremely absent team, who knows. Anyway...

Russell Brand:
You can't hustle the Russel with the grandest Brand

There's no Good News for you within the Ponderland! I got bored of channel four and beat the BBC

I'm beating the bloody world you think you can beat me?

Your ruse of a show could never match the Trews

Your japes are late. You choose Dave to watch the news?

I'm fighting the Tories, the highest of high scorers

While you scream with cat memes, you fucking Internet Explorer

Russell Howard:
Remember the days when your lameness was famous?

When you weren't some youtubing gay-ass ignoramus?

You're less than a pest. Mate you're history's jest

Eatin' cheese with MP's like a MYSSTEEERRYYY GUEESSSTT

Just can't find a suitor since your tutor popped your cherry

Your plata-pussy's gone bye, shit dude... where's Perry?

Jut a shame your rhymes aren't as dirty as your hair-do

Be nice and fuck off and take your pubic lice with you.

Russell Brand:
I'd need a Goth Detective to make sense of your skits

Mate were those lines effective?

Russell Howard:
No mate they were shit.

Russell Brand:
Well I won't hold it against you, dude, I'm above hating

Those were low blows fo sho, but not as low as your ratings

Russell Howard:
You've rustled my jimmies, better flee like Fenton

'Cos you're in for a peltin' you poundshop Ben Elton

And that family you've got, even stiffer than scotch

You can watch mine on prime time, and yours on crime watch

Russell Brand:
Your eyes must be lazy to think your lot are pleasers

So get your bro out the limelight before he goes and has a seizure

And when I'm feeling bleak, I'd still whup you at your pique

I can't make fun of you dude, that's just mocking the weak.

Russell Howard:
I'll give you two out of ten cats, two of those were free

With that hair and those cloths, you're a scene no-one likes to see

You're just a drug addicted, alcoholic freak up in the grid-house

That's why I killed this battle, like you killed Amy Whinehouse

WHO WON M8 Russell Brand Russell Howard

I tried