User blog:WonderPikachu12/Steve vs Emmet. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History Season 2

Hell yeah. B)

Sorry to disappoint so many of you because it ended up being Steve vs Emmet. :( Hopefully you guys still enjoy it!

Big, big, BIG thank you to Jude for writing for Steve. <3

And a big thank you to everyone else. Halfway through season 2 already? Geez. I would never have gotten through this without your guys' motivation and support. Cheesy, I know, but for reals, thank you all a ton. I honestly wouldn't have finished the first season to begin with had you guys not badgered and supported me through. Heck, I probably wouldn't have even started it had you guys not shown so much support for it and given me so many suggestions when I first suggested the series. And for that I wholeheartedly thank you all.

'Main protagonist of Minecraft, Steve, and main protagonist of The Lego Movie, Emmet Brickowski, throw it down to see who’s the better block builder.'

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THEuZDHkfHQ

Battle
(Starts at 0:09)

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY



VS



BEGIN!

Emmet:
(0:17)

Hey, Steve! I’ll make this quick, spitting lyrical bricks!

I’ll be crafting hard rhymes faster than one of your sticks.

I’m the Special, prophesied to take you down with rhyme,

Because I’m in my prime! Your reliance on mods should be a crime!

I’ve got that wild style, you’ve got that abundant lag!

Stick to riding pigs, I’ll be shotgunning with- I’M BATMAN!

Why don’t you go back to being whored out by Microsoft?

You’re a sell-out! You were even abandoned by Notch!

Everything is awesome when you’ve got a hit movie, ya know!

You’re just a rip-off of me, so why don’t you leggo my legos?

Just try to swing your diamond sword, you still won’t have a chance!

I’m so manly compared to you, you’ll be asking, “Honey, where are my pants?”

Steve:
(0:44)

Steve has joined the game to shame this Special imposter,

Who's more of a flop than his "blockbuster" at the Oscars.

I slay cows for steak, make towers and houses, pick up flowers,

While your film was two hours of worse stuff than Clutch Powers!

Now, sure, it was a hit and had millions made,

But it was clichéd, more of a rip-off than a Villager trade,

And I'll eliminate a brick prick quicker than a griefer.

I spit sick, your rhymes blow harder than a charged Creeper.

Grip my pick, digging deep with my disses, serious Business.

You can't unstick yourself from this situation with white spirits.

You build what people tell you to, I build everything in my dreams!

I'm 'bout to step on a Lego, but I won't be the one who screams.

Pharaoh Khufu:
(1:15)

Silence, mere mortals. Let the OG brick builder show you how to spit.

I ruled over the 4th Dynasty, you’re both ruled over by kids.

I’m a leader. MC’s got cheaters. Best learn to fear the descendant of the gods,

When I shatter a LEGO playset with more slaves than Minecraft’s got mobs.

I’ll go Indiana Jones on you. Diss you in hierogylphs.

You’ll fall faster than sandblocks. Man, I’ll leave you unclicked.

I Kragle these Faggle Rocks. Khêops chops posers.

You've no reason to argue when you both had a crossover.

I build the sanctuary of the gods, created more kids than you have fans.

I stomp out customizable blocks and any 2-hour-long LEGO ad.

You’ll need a Cairo-practor at the end of this aria.

I execute any peasant franchise that’s even worse than Terraria.

Terraria Player:
(1:46)

Oh, you dissing my game? Well, why don’t you- wait, what the fu-

L-Block:
(L-Block suddenly crashes down on Terraria player, 1:49)

This old, slow ‘’Giza’’ thinks he’s the best? Hell, you ain’t shit!

Yeah, that’s right, it’s Tetris! The game you don’t wanna mess with!

I’ll overthrow this pharaoh like Moses! You’re overshadowed by Tut,

The guy who didn’t do shit! Now I’ll kick these other two’s butts!

You’re just boring and normal, Emmet. You certainly aren’t ready.

And Steve’s game here has more unoriginal rip-offs than Five Nights at Freddy’s!

It’s in my coding to stack atop blocks so far below me!

I’m the bestselling game in history! Minecraft owes it to me!

I’m climbing up the ranks! Yeah, I’m owning it at GameFaqs!

Meanwhile, fun and entertainment is something you all lack!

Be careful of what you do, for as I build up with the decisions that you choose,

I’ll soon reach the top, and ultimately, you’ll all lose!

Frank Lloyd Wright:
(2:32)

You guys have lost sight of the point of constructing with this negativity.

It's not simply about creating, it's about your creativity.

I'll take apart these blocks, and kick you into the next LEGO Dimension.

When Wright writes the right win, he comes ready to settle this tension.

I'll break your Cube Life, Steve, if that's even your real name.

It's a shame, you and Tetris are both the same, with such tedious games,

Then there's this old pharaoh to blame for such cruel Egyptian reigns,

And last, there's the latest of lamest projects that only leads people to complain.

You're all unimportant, with no real contribution. I design projects by the thousands.

I've got so much Fallingwater flow, I store them within my hundreds of houses!

Money, tyranny, and frustrations, that's what you all employ.

So, just stop it, step back, and stick to making things people enjoy.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



(Various logos begin to fall down, stacking atop each other.)

EPIIIIC...RAAAAP...BATTLLLEEES...

(The logos quickly stack to the top of the screen, and a large one bursts through the pile, scattering them off-screen.)

VIDEOGAMESVSHISTORYYYY!!!!

Poll
Who won? Emmet Steve Pharaoh Khufu L-Block Frank Lloyd Wright

Hint
Here's a hint for the next battle: