User blog:LakuitaBro01.2/Lak's Video Game Rap Battles Season One Final: Jack Cayman VS Travis Touchdown

HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO THE SEASON FINAL. This damn series is, like, years old nad I have no fucking clue how the hell I did this but I did.

+1 Point for technically completing the series.

But in all seriousness, we have the No More Hero Travis Touchdown rapping against the Champion of DeathWatch Jack Cayman, may the best man who kill in a competition for money win.

Note: These guys had very limited material so yes, i realized this doesn't seem like a final.

Here we GOOOOOOOOOO!
LAK'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!

JACK CAYMAN!

VS

TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN!

BEGIN!

Jack Cayman:

No More Heroes in this fight, let this become your Desperate Struggle,

I’ve defeated mechs and Frankensteins, Travis here is just blowing bubbles!

But it’s Cristel clear, if this battle were a woman, it’d take you two games to fuck her!

Always staying one step ahead of you, call me Sir Cayman Motherfucker!

I’d beat you Blacker than a Baron, and I don’t mean to be rude,

But my verbal shots are quick enough to blow you to bits like Jude, dude!

Watch your Death unfold, this otaku loser is a thing of the past,

You got a fanclub and an agent, yet I’ll still score your last name on your ass!

Travis Touchdown:

The World has truly gone Mad if this ended up being my competition,

I got the flows and rhymes to shut your ass down like an Apollo space mission,

You were developed by the people who fucked up Sonic, you might as well be dead

You’re the type of person who’d fuck at a funeral, and I cut off their heads!

Your graphics are shit, and I thought that black and white effects made Sin City bad!

And your Reign won’t last any longer then the thing Rinrin and your host Kreese had!

Spit wiser then a Shaman, this bitch will know why he was bitten,

So why don’t you make like von Twirlenkiller and split into ribbons?

(Travis rushes at Jack and attempts to kill him, but Jack blocks with his chainsaw. They get face to face and rap again.)

Jack Cayman:

You’re such a fucking toad; Bishop’s decapitated head would be disappointed,

But your life is like your nickname: The No More Hero; it’s pointless!

Disgusting little pig, you smell like an old, Nasty Rose,

You’d be better off as being an extra to Charlie Macdonald’s little hoes!

Travis Touchdown:

Try the UAA, you won’t last through that much fucking slaughter!

How do you expect to be badass when you're paired with a roided out Denzel Crocker?

I was planned for other projects; I look upon you as my lesser,

I’ll send this motherfucking Tweety Bird straight to the stomach of this Chester!

(They begin to slash wildly at each other.)

Jack Cayman:

This is no longer about the money; I just want to see your scrawny ass deceased!

Travis Touchdown:

Oh yeah? I’ll spank your ass harder than you fucking did to Elise!

Jack Cayman:

Whatever, I’m not the one who would tap some high school ninja bimbo!

Travis Touchdown:

Yet you would probably stick it in Little Eddie, you god damn gringo!

Jack Cayman:

Why are you throwing around Spanish terms, go back to beating it to Japan!

Travis Touchdown:

And why don’t you go back to gawking at Amala’s tits, man!

Jack Cayman:

Okay, obviously you don’t know what the fuck an ear piece is then,

Travis Touchdown:

Well why don’t you take one of your spare lives and go fucking die again?!

(With that, Travis decapitates Jack and walks away.)

Who won? Jack Cayman Travis Touchdown

Who do you want to see in the Season Two Premiere? Ragna the Bloodedge Bayonetta SammyClassicSonicFan Papyrus Kratos Weiss Delsin Rowe Illidan Stormrage Vega