User blog:Kungfuguy27/Homer vs Homer - BranFu

Hello people

I'm technically posting this without Bran knowing but fuck it I guess

Just wanna get this out there before I leave for boot camp

The first BranFu battle in over a year, excluding Bran vs Fu

Maybe this is the first TV vs History battle, or maybe it's just BranFu battle, idk

EPIC BRAN BATTLES OF FUSTORY

HOMER SIMPSON

VERSUS

HOMER THE POET

BEGIN

Poet:

So you’re what comedy has come to? Gods damn it, that’s some tragic shit



You’re far from being sharp, yet always sticking to that tackiness



Jaundice-ridden Peter Griffin’s dissin’ with the baddest bitch



Teeming with Greek pride and rhyme scheming to bleeding Scratch this Itch!



It’s the highly-rated ornate great who Plato celebrated



<span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">And the paper on which essays of today can lay their basis

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Against the primetime jester; the oafish dope of animation

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Who led to the degradation of the morals of your nation!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m the keystone of the canon, you’re a block in FOX’s timeslot

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">My work withstood millennia, it took mere <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">seasons <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">for you to rot!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">It’s reminiscent of Hector’s end, the way they’re dragging out the Simpsons

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(164,194,244);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ditch the shitty scripters they’ve brought aboard before battling writtens!

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Simpson:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">So... your boyfriend’s name is Plato?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">… How could someone date clay, though?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">There’s only <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">one thing <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">me and that Family Guy have in common, y’know!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">We’re both fighting Giant Chickens, ya hobo-bearded bozo!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Haven’t seen a style so outdated since I saw Disco Stu’s ‘fro, yo!

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">Mmmmm… froyo…

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">The guys at Moe’s call me Smithers, ‘cause I just keep serving Burns!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">My job’s at a nuke plant, so I know when things blow: on your turns!

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Suuure, people still read ya, but only for their book reports!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">All I needed was Tracy Ullman, so chew on <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">that! <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(255,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">{Eat my shorts!}

Poet:

<span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ha <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">! If I were a chicken, you’d have tried to eat <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;font-style:italic;white-space:pre-wrap;">me <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;"> by now.

<span style="color:rgb(164,194,244);font-family:Arial;font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">If you want your heart to last ‘till your next verse-- don’t have a cow.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(159,197,232);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Men, I’ve plotted a conquest to get the Simpsons’ fairest flower!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(204,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">(HOW!?)

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(159,197,232);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’ll come inside with Trojan Horsepower and Mr. Plow her!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(204,0,0);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">(BLAOW!!)

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">I draw my bow with the force to blow clean through twelve axeheads,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">Yet I fear the tip may stick when flicked at this dense asshead!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’d end this battle now, and cleave through your Achilles’ heel

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">But it’s so buried under lard, fat’s all that my sword would feel!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(164,194,244);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;"> Simpson:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">WHY YOU LITTLE--

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">[A brief pause, as the beat comes to a stop. Homer Simpson taps on his chin, and continues.]

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Wait a minute, I can be famous for writing someone else’s story down?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Next thing you know, I can get a cult, making up the epic tale of Krusty the Clown!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Oh, diss I?! <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> My rhymes are <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">alllllways <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">ill, I add! <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ff9900;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">{Nice reference, dad!}

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Er, yeaaaah, that was a reference! Your ‘ol man’s pretty smart, when he’s mad!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">With your trashy pages spread all over, damn right you’re litter-ary

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Even <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> in better books, check my catchphrase in the dictionary

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Ditch the Trojan Pony, I eat bigger donuts, big deal

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Shelbyville learned quick not to start shit with Springfield

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#f1c232;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Cause life gave ‘em lemons, and they made enemies, not lemonade

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(241,194,50);font-weight:700;white-space:pre-wrap;">You’re getting upstaged, Homer, yo you just got played!

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;">Thanks for reading

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Who Won? FOX Greece