User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Enemy Approaching (Wondertale Ep. 3)

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AN: the movie royale was supposed to come out four days ago so here's another wondertale, fuck you

 * Your tour of the RUINS thus far has been nothing short of uncomfortable.

 * However, you trust Loygan's judgement even if he seems a bit loose-ended and follow his head throughout the unkempt, decaying structure.

'' * You can't help but hope this isn't where he actually lives. The RUINS are completely out of shape and unfit for life.''

'' * Now, having been lead past what appeared to be a spike trap with a pathway built out of random items such as broken chairs, wooden planks and desks on top of it, you find yourself in a lengthy hallway. Persisting down the long corridor, Loygan remains silent, something seemingly bothering him.''

 * He stops.



If you chose TALK or FLEE=

* Right there, lad.

* I've been thinking... I've been dragging you alongside me all the way since the first room.

* I myself got some cleaning to do before you arrive at my house! Wouldn't want it all messy for the newcomer.

* So I'll let you stretch your legs a bit and investigate on your own.

* Of course, there are some baddies around here, so here's my cellphone number. Give me a call if you need me.

* (don't need me)

* Good luck, have fun, kiddo!

 * With that, Loygan swiftly turns out of the room, leaving you to wander the abyss of the RUINS on your lonesome.



If you chose FIGHT=

* Right there, lad!

* For the occasion of your descent down here, I'm going off to the store to stock up on scotch.

* That's right! Your blatant disobedient tendancies have driven me further into the depths of alcoholism.

* Ah, wipe that frown away, it would've happened either way.

* Until then, you're on your own, though.

* Here's my cellphone number - give me a call if you die or something.

* Toodles!

 * With that, Loygan swiftly turns out of the room, leaving you to wander the abyss of the RUINS on your lonesome.

 * Time to explore, then.

 * In the next room, the first thing you are met with is a pile of unkempt leaves.

 * Feeling your unconstricted potential, you wildly kick through it.

'' * The leaves flutter around you circularly. Very cinematic.''

 * This independence from your new overbearing caretaker fills you with the PERSEVERANCE to avoid his TMI conversations as long as you can.

 * HP fully restored.

 * Turning to walk into the next corridor, your path is instead blocked by...

* HEY! OVER HERE!

 * Oh god what the fuck is that thing





* Green Toxic blocks your path!

ACT ->



CHECK=

* GREEN TOXIC - 2 ATK 4 DEF

Recycle today for a better tomorrow.



TALK=

* Hello wonderful person! How are you!?

ACT -> CHAT

 * You assure Green Toxic that you are fine.

* Green Toxic does not realize you clearly don't want to talk.

* Hey! Do you know what's REALLY cool?!

* Like, SUPER cool?!

* Green Toxic has no concept of personal space.

ACT -> CHAT

* You calmly ask what if only to hope that he stops shouting.

* Green things!

* You know what else is super cool?!

ACT -> CHAT

* You raise your hand to ask, but before you can even say anything, he blurts out  BUREAUCRATS!

* Green Toxic is oozing slime all over the flavor text box.

* Hey... come to think of it... bureaucrats are...

* GREEN!!

* Green Toxic's unsettling smile reminds you of everything you hate about the present situation.

ACT -> CHAT

* You nod your head passively and pray that's the end of the conversation.

* Hey! Just a crazy thought!

* Do you think! One day I could be!

* A bureaucrat??!! That way!! I could wear green!!

* Smells like radiation.



FLEE=

'' * Doing what seems to be the smartest choice given the scenario, you calmly put your hand over your face and sneak past the stationary sentient waste-pile.

 * Green Toxic does not know how to take a hint but is unable to pursue you.

Got away safely!



ASSURE=

ACT -> ASSURE

'' * You consider telling Green Toxic that there must be more to the role of Bureaucrat than just wearing green, and also that his body is literally green. You decide against this.''

 * You assure Green Toxic that through the wonderful world of democracy, anyone has a chance for the role, even him.

* Wow!! Imagine that!! Good old Toxic in the big city, putting on the put on!!

* Thanks newcomer! Make yourself home at the ruins and have a nice day!

* And vote for me in the next election!!

* There has, of course, not been an election for well-over a century.

* ''You say nothing regarding this and instead smile and wave. Green Toxic disolves into the floor to go organize his campaign.''

YOU WON! You gained 0 XP and 10 gold.



DENY=

ACT -> DENY

'' * You tell GreenToxic that he is in no way qualified to run a kingdom. Electing him would be like electing a gameshow host without any previous political experience.''

* ........oh......

* GreenToxic escapes from your rudeness into the ground, very obviously dejected.

* You monster.

YOU WON! You gained 0 XP and 10 gold.

* The next features what appears to be a guessing game of a puzzle.

* There are six spaces blocking an otherwise narrow path - only two of them provide a path, while the others fall through to the hidden lower floor.

* Someone, however, has installed rock-climbing wall handles onto the sides of the corridor.

* Wondering who could've been so lazy but not really, you take the easy path across the puzzle and proceed into the next room with ease.

* After such an adrenaline rush, you decide to call Loygan and make sure he's okay/still alive.



SAY HELLO=

* Ring, ring...

* Salutations! You've got Loygan.

* Wait, I know this number. Greetings, kiddo!

* I guess this means you're not dead yet. Kudos!

* What were you calling me about, then?

* Oh? Just to say hi?

IF YOU CHOSE TO TALK TO OR FLEE FROM THE STATUE:

* Well, hi there!

* I hope the RUINS folk aren't being too hard on you.

* Sorry about all the roaches.

* What? You haven't seen any roaches yet?

* Um, nevermind. Forget I said that.

* Click...

CALLING A SECOND TIME:

* In fact, what's a roach?

* Click...

IF YOU CHOSE TO FIGHT THE STATUE:

* Imagine that! Perhaps you're on an upward slope towards becoming a good person!

* Or, perhaps, you just need something from me and wanted to get formalities out of the way first.

* Hi, kid. I'm busy.

* Enjoy the RUINS.

* Click...

CALLING A SECOND TIME:

* Salutations! This is Loygan. You have reached my voicemail. Please leave a message after the tone.

* Beeeeeeeep.

* Click...



ABOUT YOURSELF=

IF YOU CHOSE TO TALK TO OR FLEE FROM THE STATUE:

* You got Loygan!

* ...again!

* What's it this time?

* Hm. So you want to know more about me?

* I can't say much, really, I'm just some Scottish sap who drinks too much. Not exactly a superhero!

* ...or a viable guardian, for that matter.

* What? Nothing! Enjoy the RUINS!

* Click...

IF YOU CHOSE TO FIGHT THE STATUE:

* You again! Kiddo!

* So you want to know about me?

* I'm Loygan. I believe we've met.

* Don't call again! Enjoy the RUINS!

* Click...



CALL HIM "DAD"=

IF YOU CHOSE TO TALK TO OR FLEE FROM THE STATUE:

* You got Loygan!

* Salutations again again, my-

* ...did you just call me "daddy?"

* ...uh.

* Kid.

* If you really want to look up to me as some kind of guardian, then by all means.

* But please. There are so many better synonyms then that one.

* Whatever keeps you kicking, though!

* Enjoy the RUINS!

* Click...

IF YOU CHOSE TO FIGHT THE STATUE:

* *Sigh* I guess I cannot stop you.

* Salutations, kiddo, I-

* Oh.

* So I'm your father now?

* Excellent!

* We only met less than an hour ago...

* And you're already going through your rebellious teen phase.

* Fuck me!

* Click...



FLIRT=

IF YOU CHOSE TO TALK TO OR FLEE FROM THE STATUE:

* You got Loygan!

* What's it this time, pal?

* You fire off the best pick-up line you have, which turns out to be "Do you have a shovel? Because I dig your ass.

* ...

* Enjoy the RUINS!

* Click???

AFTER CALLING HIM DAD:

* You got Loygan!... eugh.

* What can I do you for?

* You fire off the best pick-up line you have, which turns out to be "Is your ass a library book? Because I can't stop checking it out."

* Wow!

* The STAR population must be well-over 7.5 billion right now...

* And you're the one I got stuck with!

* Click...

IF YOU CHOSE TO FIGHT THE STATUE:

* Yep. Welcome back.

* Do you need anything...?

* You fire off the best pick-up line you have, which turns out to be "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet ass."

* Oh!

* I!

* I guess!

* Thanks!????!

* Enjoy those RUINS, huh!

* Click...

AFTER CALLING HIM DAD:

* We're still doing this, huh?

* Yep, hello.

* ''You attempt to fire off your best pick-up line, but botch it miserably, instead saying "Did you fall from heaven because your ass is nice."

* Ohohoho! I see what you're doing here!

* So this is your idea of revenge, huh?

* Truly, this is the worst possible outcome.

* Click...

* Deciding you have heard enough, you move on into the next room.

* ''The RUINS are a repetitive cycle of what could have been complex puzzles simplified by easier routes paved by Loygan some time before you arrived. Levers were taped upwards, spikes were widdled down, and gaps were bridged over.''

* The only defining difference you could find between where you started and where you are now is that there are gigantic, five-toed reptilian footprints impacted into the ground.

* You've been following the same path as them for a while now, which would seem obvious need for concern but the RUINS have been around for centuries and whatever created these tracks likely died off a long time ago.

* Turning the corner into the following room, you find out that this is not the case.

* ''A large, seething mass of red and black flesh blocks the entire corridor, preventing you any passage-way between wherever Loygan is and you. A big long tail curls around the sleeping behemoth, it's large and intimidating claws pointing out in several directions.''

* It bellows a large, freakish snore which shakes the entirety of the RUINS surrounding it.

Move it with force?

>YES



* you fucking moron.

closing note: im gonna have to apologize to so many people by the end of this series lmao.

thanks to loyg, grav and alan for reading this pre-post