User blog:J1coupe/Johnny Gat vs. Postal Dude. Epic Rap Battles of Video Games Season 3.

Hello once again, it's Coupe here with yet another ERBoVG. As I previously said, I have written a lot of rap battles while I was in the hospital, and this is one of them. Next one will be uploaded soon as possible also, when I can get the beat fixed, since I tried to make my own beat my putting some stuff together but it miserably failed.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy, this is my tribute to Four and Wachow for their love of Saints Row Series.

Today, two killers of the century meet face to face to see who is better Sunglasses-wearing cold-hearted killer! Will it be the mascot of Third Street Saints, Johnny Gat from the Saint Row Series, or will it be the crazy psychopath from your nightmares, Postal Dude from the Postal Series? Stay Tuned for a bloodshed!

As always, I welcome your feedback, so vote and comment. Be sure to leave a suggestion if you have a battle that you want to see.

Lyrics
(the video starts in pitch black, with the camera screen slightly broken)

(the camera slowly fades in, and a burning city with two men can be seen)

(the camera focuses on two men holding firearms)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!

THE POSTAL DUDE!

VERSUS!

JOHNNNY GATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

BEGIN!

Postal Dude:
(starts at 0:39)

Welcome to Paradise, Johnny, today's the first day of end of your life,

Gats don't kill people, I do- better be ready for my lyrical slice,

Just like your Black Hippie girlfriend, I'll decapitate you easily,

But please don't think I'm a bigot, I kill all races equally... *laugh*

Do I smell a faint of tainted Saint here? I am your Eternal Damnation,

Pierce right through your ego, leave you in stasis in this defamation,

I'll shoot you up like Gary Coleman, so Share the Pain and better retreat,

Beware, for today's the Weekend the Apocalypse came to the Third Street!

Johnny Gat:
(starts at 1:05)

You're Running With Scissors, Dude, you've messed with the wrong Gat,

this Saint got big mad Flows like Paul while your rhymes fall flat!

you're facing the true Allah Mode, you won't ever be able to survive,

peck you down and leave you as a crying baby like I was your wife.

Go shove touchy crotchy up your crotch, my raps you can't dodge,

don't need to spend A Week in Paradise to show who's top-notch.

Just like your movie, I'll wipe you out of this Earth without a trace,

so you better piss off, fucker, before I piss on your fucking grave.

Postal Dude:
(starts at 1:30)

This zombie's rhymes are dead, like a plane crash on a top of Steelport,

call me Dr. Euthanasia, killing minorities like you is a sport,

I'll shove this pussy in front of my gun, that'll silence your big mouth,

the "Greatest Warrior" is about to face the Grade A Psycho from the South!

I'm enjoying my 2nd Amendment rights here, puttin' a slug on your knee,

your brutally murdered storyline blew up the Earth; got no hope against me,

the GTA copyGat just got schooled by this motherfucker, your true nemesis,

looks like it's a mission accomplished- with an extreme prejudice. *laugh*

Johnny Gat:
(starts at 1:56)

The Saints are on the Row, I'm about to go all Postal on your sorry ass

you think my storyline is worse, shall I bring up your plotless past?

I was a zombie, but a badass one, you're a Kosher version of mad cow,

the Gangsta In Space is cutting up the B-rated Ronin here and now,

I'll send you to where you truly belong, lunatic, back to the asylum,

defeated an alien empire while you go piss on people like a filthy scum,

fold you up in an envelope, no need for postal service to bring you down,

go ahead and take the nearest mailbox and get the fuck outta my town!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPICEPICEPICEPIC!

RAPRAPRAPRAP- BATTLEBATTLEBATTLES OF!

VIIIIDEEEEEOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Postal Dude:

(# voices in 6:10/2:35)

You probably thought you weren't gonna die today- Surprise!

(series of gunshots and screams are heard)

I know what you're thinking, but the funny thing is, I don't even LIKE video games...

(screen slowly fades)

Poll
WHO WON? Postal Dude Johnny Gat