User blog:Segamad66/EPIC RAP BATTLES No.70: Charles II vs Nicholas II

Here we go!

Big big battle.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

CHARLES II

VS

NICHOLAS II

BEGIN!

Charles II

It's Charles the fucking second and it's time to party.

I'll make this battle quick before I send in the British army.

I have been King longer than you been Tsar.

But everything you did in power was just bizarre.

You are a weak, incompetent leader whose also a liar.

I survived the black death as well as the great fire.

I'm popular with the British people, so much they brought me lots of bling.

Just watch out for the Bolshevists, otherwise they'll shoot all your offspring.

Nicholas II

Call me bloody Nick, as I'm about to slay through this rap.

You were defeated at Worcester and you claimed it was a mishap.

Then you ran away from your country and left Cromwell in charge.

You hid in an apple tree then went off to France to live life large.

If I wanted to take over England, I would just murder my cousin.

You died of an apoplectic fit, which you didn't see that coming.

I've had more affairs with Europe then you've had in your lifetime.

May have been thrown in prison, but I did not do a single crime.

Charles II

I reinstated Christmas, but you are more like the fucking Grinch.

Your country maybe big but your penis is nothing more than an inch.

No need for a big revolution Nick, if you want to become Russian master.

If you want to restore a monarchy, should've just followed my example.

Nicholas II

Now your country is running away from Europe and that is the price,

You have to pay as the evil that's within me tells me to kill you in a single slice,

With my long ass sword, my head says no, but my heart is full of malice,

And after this battle, your coat of arms will be high above my palace.

*in the distance, a man on horseback rides into battle*

Louis XIV

Ha! It's King Louis the fourteenth, here to kick some ass.

I make my rhymes quick, sprinkled with some french sass.

Got a nice cane and frizzy hair just like Ozzy Osbourne.

I've been on the throne long before baby Nick was born,

How you two got into power totally remains a huge mystery.

But I'm the longest serving monarch in all of European history.

I am loyal to my two wives even though I had number of flings.

But this battle ends right now as I'm the one and only sun king.

 WHO WON?

WHO's NEXT?

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!!!!

