User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 2nd Halloween Special: Gargantuar vs the Tank

AM SOOPER SP00KZ LOL

In a not-so-scary Halloween battle, the behemoth enemy Tank of Left 4 Dead franchise fame, and the infamous giant, the Gargantuar from Plants vs Zombies, fight. Fuck you, I'm not early. You're all late.

Beat: https://youtu.be/58lc5WhScdw

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES!



VERSUS!



BEGIN!

Tank:

It’s a mindless tyrant desiring to slam the Jolly Green Giant,

Spitting more pure fire than the plants you’re fighting!

I drop Phat Beets on a toaster, your future looks bleak,

I’m not too afraid of a freak who likes long walks on the beach!

Come down from your roof, let’s take it to the streets,

Where I smash your face in deep with a chunk of concrete!

Got the survivors running, panicking for their lives,

A botanist throws out a cherry, bam! Kiss your ass goodbye!

Never been a sicker Spitter since the drooling prostitute I fight with,

Step to the MC Zomb-B, and I drop the mic like “That’s right, bitch”!

Throw all the midgets you can, they’re no match for the Jockey's rank,

Step to me in my lane, and soon you’ll be screaming TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!

Gargantuar:

My smashing is nonstop, leave your ingrown jaw dropped,

Terrorize your hometown like it’s a suburban lawn plot!

This wad of gum’s going to be chewed out by the big bad berater,

Squash a hater Imitater into the pavement like “See you later”!

I may side with the Sharktonic, but it’s you who’s swimming with the fishes,

When I’m finished, the game will flash “Garg startled the witch!”, shit!

I’m a gigantic panic inducer, you’re a slightly taller Charger juicer,

No defense against the dense strength, you don’t have a Far Future!

Knock you to the Dark Ages, just read up on my almanac pages!

You’ve got experts yawning and lazing, I’ve got everyone Hulk raging!

I’m real mean gardener, got this punk standing Dead Center,

You ain’t shit, this freak chose the wrong level to enter!

Tank:

Come on, you can’t even find love, go back to

Play some bloody knuckles, leave your zombie crew right handed!

I’ll let my pals devour, you’re fodder to a bunch of Sunflower,

You’re outdone by chickens? You’re not tough, you’re a coward!

Flipping and tripping, incapacitating, no defib unit coming up,

Even a tiny lettuce leaves you stuck, I’ll one up it with the flip of a truck!

So challenge me to battle, walking over me’s like spikeweeds,

I’ll pop your cap off so EAsily, you’ll be begging me to Save your Seeds!

Gargantuar:

This feud isn’t low tide, it goes Deep Sea; Twenty Thousand Leagues,

I’ll let you proceed against SMG while I go help people rake up some leaves,

Rhymes doper than Shrooms, choke a bloke like I’m a smoker, waiting,

This knuckle walking King Kong’s bait against this garden decoration decimation!

Necromancy fancying plant mass extinction throughout the course of time,

Defy my mind? It’s about thyme! Too bad you can’t best the corpse of rhyme!

I’m going Giga on this walking liver, looking more sickly than a Boomer,

This Bruce Banner’s got no balls against me, call you a late bloomer!

Tank:

You’re an oversized bouncer, try and swat me, you’re fucking dead,

Skull like a Buckethead, ruining suburban scenery and tossing your only friend,

While you’re ridden and being driven, I decide if you’re dying or living,

Leave all survivors lying, split, and, spit sicker than a Pay-to-Win villain,

The town sent a call for its phone pole, but you couldn’t receive it,

Cause you’re so busy tossing salad to realize you’ve been defeated!

Gargantuar:

Me? Defeated? Big threat from a wimp defeated with a cocktail!

I rock the sloth skin and frog skin, you’ve got blotches and blotch scales!

While you’re overshadowed by silent science, I’m the talk of the corporation!

Spit some modern Garden Warfare against ancient FPS basic game making!

I’m a Brainbuster Rhymes, this bullet sponge needs to learn to Calm Down,

Flatten an undercooked sausage when I shake the whole ground!

Tank:

Tower Defense's old news!Dlder than the stuff your grandpa reads through!

So keep bragging about shaking the ground with your old clown shoes!

Go growl elsewhere, I’ll roar my mighty call that shakes even the beast kids,

With EA steering your series, your raps fit the cheapness to a tee, bitch!

Gargantuar:

It must be winter in your melon! Did my rhymes give you Brainfreeze?

You being “scary” with your dopey looking face like that just pains me,

I’ve got an undying taste for cerebral elements, it makes me relentless,

With your Patrick Starr complexion, I can see why you’re a “special” infected!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

AWESOME-



....

who won? Gargantuar Tank