User blog:UnstableIsotope42/Scientific Rap Battles - S1E3 - Johannes Kepler vs Nicolaus Copernicus

I have woken from my three week and whatever-day slumber! I'm back with the third installment of Scientific Rap Battles! This battle pits the astronomer known for his work on the heliocentric model of the solar system, Nicolaus Copernicus, versus the astronomer known for his laws of planetary motion, Johannes Kepler.

For this battle, I tried to do a bit more in depth with each other's backgrounds with a bit of astronomy puns mixed in. But, this being a shorter battle, I wasted most of my notes. Oh well. Overall, though I enjoyed looking through the stories behind the two, and, as always, it was a great learning experience.

Fun Fact: I had the idea to have Aristarchus of Samos be a third party, but 1) it wasn't that interesting and 2) no one knows about him and his works on plotting the solar system didn't survive. Maybe in a different timeline, Aristarchus, maybe in a different timeline.

Other Fun Fact: This is the first battle to be directly recommended. (I totally forgot that Element K suggested Carl Sagan vs Bill Nye. My bad!)

Battle
(Copernicus' verses are in burgundy, Kepler's verses are in umber , and Ptolemy's verses are in beige .)

BEAT: [//www.shadowville.com/121880/genres/gangsta-beats/back-up http://www.shadowville.com/121880/genres/gangsta-beats/back-up] (Copernicus' verse starts at 0:10)

SCIENTIFIC RAP BATTLES!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Copernicus:
Before this fight begins with astronomer and fraud,

It is of utmost importance you leave out the God.

I’ll crack down a Kepler, so put smallpox on pause,

I must agree with the Lutherans kicking you to Prague!

From the Vistula to Varmia, Kraków to Bologna,

Anywhere in Europe, I’ll outlap and own ya!

So forget Chopin and Curie, I’m the best mind from Poland,

How are you so famous when half your work was stolen?!

Kepler:
My research was astronomical! You fiddle in astrology!

Wipe you from existence, just like your biography!

I’d throw it out, too. You should’ve stuck to law,

If you wanna battle, Nick, I’ll kick you down to Warsaw!

So calm down Icarus, quit acting like you’re original.

I bridged the huge gap from celestial to physical,

My M.C. work was pivotal! Your social life was pitiful,

You’re solidly Platonic, though half your story’s fictional.

Copernicus:
I’m quite sure, Kepler, you’re well-read on bigotry,

Sad that your relationships mostly died in infancy.

I was dedicated to the stars! Scrap up an optic study,

Raps more poison than what you fed to Brahe.

Kepler:
I’ll squash your perfect model like an oblong ellipse,

‘Cause I superseded your work: a total eclipse.

I’m the object of interest! No other gets a mention!

Call this Kepler-centric ‘cause I get all the attention! 

Ptolemy:
What’s going on here?! I smell blasphemy around,

I didn’t father up astronomy just so you two can smack-down!

13 books of Syntaxis to outpass any treatise!

Give me 8 bars to show you what astronomy is!

I cited the Greeks, inspired by Babylonia,

Influenced the Islamics, Byzantines, and Roma!

You’re a reflection of your predecessor, Claudius the best!

All you two do is gravitate around the Almagest!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



'''SCIENTIFIC RaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaP BATTLES! '(The logo spins around and stuff)''

Who Won? Nicolaus Copernicus Johannes Kepler Ptolemy