User blog:Zacisawesome101/Samuel Pepys vs Anne Frank - Fan-Made ERB

Intro
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!!!

SAMUEL PEPYS

VERSUS

ANNE FRANK

BEGIN!

Samuel Pepys
Let me be Frank, this match is gonna get ugly.

About as ugly as the operation that got a stone out me tummy.

Ol' Sammy here, I have raps about as hot as your temperature...

Of your forehead when you died from that typhoid murderer!

What's wrong Anne? You look dazed.

Did my raps break your concentration? I'm amazed!

I'm spitting sicker than the people when they caught the plague,

So, as the Nazis would agree, battling me was a mistake!

But excuse me, I have to adjust my periwig,

'Cause unlike you, I can get one 'cause I'm very rich!

Anne Frank
After all that time, you haven't mentioned our diaries?

Probably didn't want to mention his anxieties.

Samuel, GET BACK HERE, I'm not finished with you yet!

I'll surpise you, as your wife did when she met Deborah Willet!

After that, she left you! No more D-Day, son!

Think that's all I know? Well, I'm not done!

You fondled every woman and girl who came near.

That's worse than all the Nazis! Oh, dear.

You look angry, guess I riled you up?

Wash it away with the gallons of wine in your cup!

Samuel Pepys
Ooh, big words from a girl who died at 15!

Especially since your raps can fill up my latrine!

You stripped, got shaved then spent your time splitting rocks.

You'd make a great servant to beat up with my mop!

Let me put this in my diary, you'll soon see,

That even the Great Fire of London doesn't match me!

Anne Frank
Jeez man, that verse was worse than my mean mom,

When I have my mood swings, it's hard for me to calm.

Like many people at my camp, you seem pretty gassed,

But whatever you throw at me, soon I'll surpass.

You've lost this battle as hard as your bout with wine,

While you're sat there drinking, I'm regarded as divine.

You're only famous because you're a womanizing pervert,

And I'm abusing you worse than you did to your boy servant.

Who Won? Samuel Pepys Anne Frank