Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson/Rap Meanings

Thomas Jefferson:
When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a battle to commence,

(Jefferson is referencing the famous Declaration of Independence — for which he was the primary author — which says, "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another..." in saying that it has at this point become necessary to engage in a rap battle against Frederick Douglass.)

'''Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my quill! I'm endowed with certain unalienable skills!'''

(Jefferson will strike down any enemy with the power of words and writing, just as he did to the British Empire. He also says he has rapping skills that cannot be taken away, again referencing the Declaration: "[All men] are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, [and] among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.)

'''Let me run down the résumé, will ya? Set up a little place called the United States; sound familiar?'''

(His metaphorical "résumé" of lifetime accomplishments includes having been instrumental in founding the United States of America, a country which should sound familiar to Douglass as he is a citizen thereof.)

'''I told King George he could eat a fat dick! When it comes to Declarations, I'm the first-draft pick!'''

(The Declaration was in a sense a way of telling King George III — the British monarch who was the object of the Declaration's Grievances — of the contempt Americans had for him, hence the above remark. Jefferson was his fellow Founding Fathers' "first pick" for the man who would help write the "first draft" of the Declaration, hence the latter phrase.)

I'll topple any tyrant, so kings and pirates beware!

I'm so down with revolutions, I invented the swivel chair!

I've many volumes on my shelves, it's true,

But I've yet to read the three books you wrote about YOU!

Looking like a skunk in a three-piece suit,

Didn't come back from Paris to battle Pepe Le Pew!

First Secretary of State, VP number two!

Not to mention third President; the fuck'd you do?

Frederick Douglass:
'''You finished? Okay.'''

'''Straight outta bondage! A brainy mother fucker here to diss you!'''

Big hair, big nuts, big issues!

Starting with your nickel: there's a real declaration!

Heads for racist, tails for a slave plantation!

You're a soft white Monticello Marshmallow!

'''Watching my people sweat while you sat playing cello! (Hello!)'''

But now you're facing me, Freddy D!

I'd never work for your ass, but I'll kick it for free!

Your stone face on Rushmore ain't nothing!

Check my photos: now, that's real muggin'!

The face of a free man, taught himself to read, man!

No compromise; you couldn't whip a 5th of me, man!

You got a self-evident truth of your own:

You let freedom ring, but never picked up the phone!

Thomas Jefferson:
Aw, Frederick, I never heard a verse I dug less.

Alright, I admit it, I confess!

I participated in a broken system that I hated,

But I needed to keep my financial status situated!

And the words I used were "hideous blot"

To describe the slave trade and the pain it hath brought!

And I fought to stop the trade of new slaves in Virginia

When I ran the whole state and still made it home for dinner!

'''So forgive me, I was busy, man. I had a lot to do,'''

'''But we did it. You're free now, so...we cool?'''

Frederick Douglass:
'''This ain't Louisiana, man. I ain't buying it!'''

You talk about freedom, but you ain't applying shit!

So no, we ain't cool, you founding absentee father!

You had six babies with your slave mama and never even bothered

To free her when you died on the 4th of July!

It's a very important holiday, but what the fuck does it mean to this guy?

'Cause I celebrate December 6th, 1865:

The day the 13th damn amendment was ratified!

And I ceased to be an alien to your unalienable rights,

And we the people stopped, meaning we the people who are white!

'''Man, you did some good things. I ain't denying your fame.'''

I'm just saying they need to put an asterisk next to your name.