User blog:Wachowman/Parody 109. Mendes vs Kirkburn (Teresa vs Freud)

Wachow: ah fuck we’re late.

Cyan: it’s your faults

Wachow: yeah I know, September was one of the worst months of my life, October isn’t great either.

Cyan: welp it’s out now, do we have anything special to say?

Wachow: let me see *pulls out paper* uhh Gabe is the best ever of course of course, enjoy the battle yeah yeah, I have Chortles mhm mhm. I think that’s it.

Cyan: cool. Enjoy then guys.



EPIC RAP BATTLES: WIKI PARODIES!

KIRKBURN

VS

MENDES

BEGIN!

Kirkburn
Oh shit it’s Mendes! But sadly it’s not Shawn,

No one would notice if this one was gone.

He’s known for doing nothing, and his edits are so random

It’s like we promoted an Anon!

I’m Technical Support for this Community

While you spend most your time on Studio C

I’m coming straight from the C.C.

And can I get an F in chat, cuz I’m effing up gee tee!

Stepping up to the Kirkburn’s a good way to get some strikes.

You’re Support Staff yet can’t support yourself. Yikes!

Look at this loser! All alone in the chatroom!

I’m here to slap the poser in the Rollback costume

I cracked down on language that’s abusive

To make this community safe and inclusive

You want higher than Chat Mod? You’re simply just too boring,

I’ll treat you just like Wach, you’ll get fucked without a warning!

Mendes
Kirk’s presence for the past year: departed

Your profile page: re-tart it.

But that’s enough about KB

More like K.G.B. ‘cept he ain’t no G

People said a few bad things, a simple mistake,

Yet you barged into the Wiki filled with rage.

A Wiki we could speak freely but you thought you were bigger,

So you quickly came in and pulled the n-word trigger

I help users out, you get them impeached

For exercising their right to free speech!

You got mad when we were having a laugh!

When it comes to C.C you’re the Karen of Staff!!

You were policing slurs but taking it further

To you, the Wiki’s a Christian Minecraft Server!

So many ‘Concerns’ for just a few short bans

You’re just diet Sansse sans the Sans!

Kirkburn
Is that all you got? You must be getting nervous!

I’ll revise your face like the Terms of Service!

Everything’s automatic but for the odd fix,

Your job could be done by a bot. I’ll bring in Mee6!

Obsessed with the Olympics but you’re off the team

People skills so poor you should take a request to leave

C.C’s the only place you seem to display sanity

I take my foes out if they just utter a profanity!

Everything is stats with you! This fixation’s not right,

There hasn’t been A Bunch Of Numbers less deserving of the spotlight!

You’re “Definitely not stalking”? Some ‘Professional Observer’!

Those are just the dirty words of a pervert!

Mendes
I notice you’ve only made 34 contribs on your page

And I’ve calculated that rates as 0.03 percent per day

Ooh! A crewless ‘Captain’! You make the reader bored!

Here we have a user who’ll never make the Leaderboard!

I can’t imagine you have friends that aren’t imaginary,

I mean hell, you got rid of most user’s vocabulary!

Just how little you do makes me furious!

Yet another George as staff who isn’t Curious!

This won’t be as one sided as the drama that you stirred,

Looks like you got yourself Kirkburned.

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES-*The Infinity Gauntlet is seen snapping its fingers*

...WIKI PARODIES!

Who Won?! Kirkburn Mendes