User blog:Loygansono55/Peanuts vs Pretzel - Epic Rap Battles of Food Season 2

Another Tuesday, another Epic Rap Battles of Food. Today's rappers are Peanuts and Pretzels, and they will be rapping to see who really is the father!

Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FOOD!

PEANUTS!

VERSUS!

PRETZEL!

BEGIN!

Peanuts:
Suck my peanuts, bitch! That baby is mine!

You're just a tangled mess of tangly stuff, you're more measly than Ron Weasley!

People eat me on aeroplanes, I'm so high right now,

And I'm on the cover of Peanut Monthly! Yeah, that's right!

Pretzel:
That baby ain't yours, so back off, you pedophile!

Pretzel's here to beat this salted fuck, man, you suck! Yuck!

You might be on a magazine, but I have Nicolas Cage's autograph,

You're more of an idiot than Patrick Star, you stink more than Professor Frink!

Peanuts:
Happy birthday!

...

Psyche! I don't really mean that!

I can burp the alphabet, you can't even talk to girls,

So how the hell could this baby be yours? I like to hitchhike in the moors!

Your feet are even hairier than... ummm... Frodo's, I guess?

I've never been late for a date, you're always late for dates,

Oh wait! You can't even get one, so kiss my roller skates!

People put me in all sorts of food, lose the 'tude, dude!

I hate to be rude, but shut the fuck up while I listen to Hey Jude!

Pretzel:
Listen, Peanut... I'm really sorry...

...

Psyche! Two can play at that game, you scoundrel!

My whole team on Pokémon Blue is level 100,

I just got a promotion at work, so yeah, fuck you!

I bet you think the earth is flat, but I bet your mother is fat,

And I can solve a Rubik's Cube faster than you can!

I'm awesome like a DVD box set of Breaking Bad,

You're shitty like a DVD box set of Two and a Half Men,

Damn it, I just sprained my ankle, but you still suck hairy balls!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU ORDER!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FOOD!

Who won? Peanuts Pretzel