User blog:Loygansono55/Epic Rap Battles of What the Fucksmas

Salutations, and welcome to a festive edition of Epic Rap Battles of What the Fuck! Lexi will sadly not be rapping in this one, so I'd like to dedicate this piece of shit to her <3

Merry *insert holiday that you celebrate here*, everybody!

Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHAT THE FUCK!

OLAF!

VERSUS!

ADVENT CALENDER!

BEGIN!

Olaf:

Hi! I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs!

As well as beating shits like you and being cool as fuck!

Call me Elsa, cause I can't hold it back anymore,

Gonna Let it Go all over your face, you whore!

Advent Calender:

What the? A retarded snowman? Please!

You've got nothing on Frosty, he's the bee's knees!

I am filled with treats galore all throughout the month,

Uh... what the balls rhymes with month? Uh... fuck you!

Olaf:

You can't melt me with hot disses cause I got my own flurry!

You better run away, make like Santa and hurry!

Your raps are in need of a Fixing Up, they are total fails-

Out of nowhere, a giant icicle falls down, stabbing Olaf.

-Oh, look at that, I've been impaled!

Door #1 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Paul McCartney.

Paul McCartney:

On the first day of Christmas, Paul McCartney gave to you,

A verbal beating from the bottom of O'Reilly's shoe!

I'm simply having a Wonderful Christmas time defeating this prick,

Who even knows where your carrot nose has been? Ick!

Anna appears to back up Olaf, even though she seems to be high.

Anna:

What the fuck dude? I'm like, so high right now!

You're in deep, deep, deep, deep shit when you mess with me,

And- fuuuuuuuck, I'm so high!

I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face, so come here!

I'm unleashing some Frozen raps on your rear!

Door #2 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Delibird.

Delibird:

Here's a Present! Just kidding, no presents for you!

You can't defeat Delibird and his Arctic crew!

My stats are terrible, but yours are crummier,

I like to eat the yellow snow because it is yummier!

Anna:

I can't even fathom how high I am!

Olaf:

I am the world's sexiest and funniest snowman!

Anna:

Quick, give me more weed, bro!

Olaf:

Even Snoop Dogg's not a high as you, y'know?

Door #3 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg:

You talkin' about me, dawg? Yo, I'm the master of weed, I ain't Snoop Lion,

But with hot-ass lines, yo' asses I'll be fryin'!

Then I'll drop ya like ya hot, even though yo' not,

I'm smokin' y'all like pot, smokin' y'all like pot!

Olaf:

I'm roasting you guys like it's summer! I had my own game, and it sucked,

But I'm still a happy snowman! You suck and I rock!

Anna:

I can't do this any more, the high is too strong,

For the first time in forever, I made a decision that was wrong!

Door #4 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Dobby.

Dobby:

Dobby's going to give you a sock, make you sore,

Dobby's magical powers will make you sore to the core!

You've just been rekt by the best house elf,

Dobby doesn't care what you do now, as long as you go to hellf!

Anna passes out as Elsa comes to help.

Elsa:

I have a dress made of ice and I'm still smoking hot,

And a pillowcase jacket is all this fuck's got!

I froze all of Arendelle, you better look out, or else,

You'll become an ice statue, courtesy of Elsa!

Door #5 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Simon Pegg.

Simon Pegg:

Simon says you all should shut your traps!

I can take out zombies with my cricket bat raps!

I'm the Editor of your defeat, along with my pal Nick Frost,

I have the Hottest Fuzz of all, meaning you have just lost!

Elsa:

You'll be in the Winchester, I'm chilling in my ice palace!

I'll give you a handjob just so I can freeze your phallus!

My movie grossed a lot of money, but you're just gross,

When it comes to how much money I grossed, I grossed the most!

Door #6 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Gingerbread Man.

Gingerbread Man:

I know the muffin man, cause I get all the muffin, man!

Even without legs, I can still kick all of your cans!

Sure, I might be crumbly, but you guys are weaker,

You have no friends, I'll be hanging with Puss in Sneakers!

Oaken appears to help Olaf, Anna, and Elsa.

Oaken:

Yoo-hoo! I'll give you a boo-boo, then you'll cry boo-hoo,

You're coo-coo if you think you'll beat me, I'll win, yoo-hoo!

I get all the bitches, it's time to get my hoes out,

Anna and Elsa, it's time for my big summer blowout!

Door #7 on Advent Calender opens to reveal nothing.

Advent Calender:

Crap! I forgot to put somebody in that one!

But that gives me another chance to rip into all of your bums!

Kids can't wait to get into me!

You just can't win, listen to me!

Jack Skellington arrives to help the Frozen gang.

Jack Skellington:

I'm your worst Nightmare Before Christmas, cower in fear!

I make a splash more than when Anna fell off the pier!

I'll stick my Sandy Claws right up your butts, I'll make you scream!

You just can't beat this Christmassy Halloweeny team!

Door #8 on Advent Calender opens to reveal Simon Cowell.

Simon Cowell:

When it comes to your raps, it's a no from me.

Simon Cowell ragequits.

The Grinch walks forward from some sinister smoke.

The Grinch:

I'm here to steal this battle like I stole the Christmas season,

My reason: It gets all the bitches on their knees, son!

You guys annoy me more than the Whos down in Whoville,

I'll wrap you up in a present and tie it with my seal of approval!

Door #9 on Advent Calender begins to open, but The Grinch, impatient, grabs him and rips him to shreds, ending the battle.

UUUUUHHHHHH...

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT!

I DUNNO!

WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!

EEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF WHAT THE FUCK!

Who won? Olaf, Anna, Elsa, Oaken, and Jack Skellington Advent Calender, Paul McCartney, Delibird, Snoop Dogg, Dobby, Simon Pegg, Gingerbread Man, and Simon Cowell The Grinch