User blog:Mothmancha/URBoF 32- Sherlock Holmes vs Cole Phelps

In the second battle of the third season of URBoF, the renowned high-functioning sociopath from London faces the detective from Los Angeles, Cole Phelps, with a mediation attempt brought in by the world's smartest private-eye, L Lawliet.

The entire battle was written by me, MultiSuperVids, and Justin Buckner, featuring Justin reprising his role from ERBParodies as Cole Phelps, ZombieLicker as Sherlock Holmes, and Ciaran McGinn reprising his role from Emo Owl Rap Battles as L.

Also, Death Note and L. A. Noire spoilers.

Rap Explanations
===Cole 1: ===

I’m known as Cole Phelps, LA’s top detective


 * Cole Phelps is from Los Angeles in the game L. A. Noire.

This British bitch’s methods will be far from effective


 * Sherlock Holmes is British. Cole is saying that Sherlock's methods of beating him will fail.

I’m level headed 24/7 but you need drugs to stay balanced


 * Sherlock often is portrayed as having an addiction to various drugs, like opium or cocaine.

I double killed a brat from the Vault, so you won't be a challenge!


 * Reference to ERBParodies' Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps 1 and 2.

You’ve got a superiority problem and are despised by your relatives


 * Sherlock is insolent to authority and despises his brother Mycroft.

I face killers almost daily while a grump’s your biggest nemesis!


 * Being a cop, Cole often faces off against crooks. Sherlock's nemesis is John Moriarty, the "grump".

Evidence supports the accusation that you’re nothing but a sham


 * A general cop/detective reference for evidence and accusations. Sherlock is, in Cole's eyes, a fake.

So I have a question for you, how do you even call yourself a gentleman?
 * BBC Sherlock especially is an asshole.

===Sherlock 1 (Classic) : ===

Elementary, my dear Cole, I do simply because I am


 * "Elementary, my dear Watson" is Sherlock's catchphrase

We don’t need a Study in Scarlet to see that you’re in quite the jam


 * The first ever Sherlock story by Arthur Conan Doyle was called "A Study in Scarlet"

In the game of Dark Shadows I’ll study you, with science forensic!


 * Cole's nickname is "the Dark Shadow." There is a Sherlock Holmes movie called "Game of Shadows." Sherlock uses forensic science at times to solve stuff.

I wish Watson was here, for boy, you’re making me sick!


 * Watson, Sherlock's companion, is a doctor.

Grab a sword, let us fence and watch your failure be immense


 * One of the many things Sherlock is skilled with is fencing.

I’m the one to make this intense, don’t need a genius to figure this!


 * Sherlock is a genius. Also a bit of a reference to ZombieLicker's series, Intense Rap Battles of Craziness

You became a lonely little peasant trying to get a German pregnant,


 * MSV wrote this--so I don't fully understand it myself. Sorry, but I assume it's L. A. Noire events.

Have a lesson from Smith and Wesson: Moriarty is more pleasant!
 * Smith and Wesson's a type of gun. Another mention of Sherlock's nemesis.

===Cole 2: ===

I brought my enemies to their death before they could even see me,


 * Pretty general line here involving sharpshooting.

While you’re a crooked tooth psycho in a two-ended beanie,

'''
 * Joke referencing Sherlock's being British, and the British stereotype is bad teeth. Sherlock's signature hat is a two-ended beanie.'''

You’ve got “tonnes” of different versions and it’s time for you to make the switch


 * Reference to the British spelling of "tons" as well as the many incarnations, not limited to the Cumberbatch and Downey Jr. ones.

So you’ll be slammed onto your ass and promptly made my Cumber-bitch
 * Joke about the BBC version of Sherlock, played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

===Sherlock 2 (BBC): ===

My dear Cole, no need to scold, because facing you is a treat


 * General line.

This MC from BBC is about to kick you all the way down Baker Street


 * Sherlock lives on 221B Baker Street.

I’m not a psychopath, no, I’m a high-functioning sociopath


 * Almost a direct quote from the Sherlock series (BBC).

It’s a fundamental truth, Phelps, you don’t invoke my wrath
 * A general line.

===Cole 3: ===

I’ve got a partner in every rank, you’ve got a doctor in your bed


 * Sherlock in the BBC series is often speculated by Tumblrians to be gay mates with Watson.

'''As well as cocaine on the brain, the Vice Desk! go ahead!'''


 * Another drug addiction line. The Vice Desk is a set of cases in L. A. Noire focused on, well, drugs.

'''Is this fangirl form meant to shock me? Throw yourself off some scaffolds,'''


 * Again, Cumberbatch-Sherlock is a fangirl's dream. In "The Reichenbach Fall," Sherlock fakes his death as a fall from some scaffolds.

For I’ll mix and spit a rhyme to leave Sherlock Holmes Baffled!
 * Cole believes he has the brainpower to stump the world's greatest detective.

===Sherlock 3 (BBC): ===

Don’t hound me, but bask in my glory if you will


 * Reference to the Sherlock novel, "Hound of the Baskervilles".

Your raps stink, kind of like the sewers where you were killed,


 * Spoiler Alert. Cole dies in the sewers.

My rhymes are burning, call it arson, or A Different Kind of War


 * The final case in L. A. Noire, part of the "Arson Desk" section, is called "A Different Kind of War".

It’s time to take my Last Bow and leave this L. A. Noire
 * There's a Sherlock story called "His Last Bow".

===L : ===

This shall be a piece of cake, so you two can quake in your boots


 * L eats often, especially cake.

As I LOL-iet for humor and then begin to deduce

'''
 * A joke on L's last name, Lawliet.'''

That these classless pansy dandies are in need of a good flogging''' Watari, call for an ambulance, for my rhymes are heart-stopping,'''


 * L died from a heart attack from the Death Note.

'''Phelps can’t stand up to me. My achievements? You couldn’t meet it, That’s my thesis: I’ll give you a strawberry if you keep it a secret,'''


 * L offers a strawberry to people in exchange for them keeping a secret.

You chase shoplifters off the mall, I square off against gods of death,


 * L is the enemy of Kira, who works with Ryuk, a shinigami, or death god.

Took my last breath for justice, your end lacked a life-vest,


 * Cole drowned in the sewers, specifically.

And you, don’t boast your remakes, you’re outdone by a bat,


 * Reference to ERB'S Sherlock Holmes vs Batman. Telling him to not boast about the RDJ/BBC remakes.

No shit, Sherlock, I’ll outfox you in this final attack!


 * "No Shit, Sherlock" is often used to make fun of people who say obvious things.

You’re Nearly finished off, aren’t you, but I’m feeling rather Mello


 * Near is L's successor, and Mello is a friend of Near's.

'''So although you two blow I’ll… *gasp* no….. '''
 * L dies of a heart attack. Again. Lawl. Iet.

Poll
Who Won? Sherlock Holmes Cole Phelps L Lawliet

Trivia and Etcetera

 * This is the first battle that Ciaran McGinn has rapped in for a Youtube Rap Battle series. This is also his debut as a member of the URBoF team.