Adam vs Eve

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Epic Rap Battles of History #28 is the twenty-eighth installment of the Epic Rap Battles of History series. It was released on February 11. It features biblical first humans on Earth Adam and Eve to settle who's better, man or woman?

Cast
EpicLLOYD as Adam

Jenna Marbles as Eve

Nice Peter as Steve

Lyrics
Eve:

This battle's gonna end like every argument does

With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub

I made a map, motherfucker, and I'm reading it too

Gives me specific directions on how to fuck with you

I know that you like to think you're so macho

But you smell like ball sacs and nachos

I work while you and your boyfriend Steve

Drink and play sports in a fantasy league

You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips

So go ahead, take a shot. I'm sure that you'll miss

Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list

If you stopped fucking up, I wouldn't have to get pissed!

Adam:

My life was fine till you had to come along and wreck it

Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?

You cry about everything but can't decide what you want

"I'm hungry", "I'm fat", "I'm cold", "I'm hot"

You call that complex, but yo I call you a mess

You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed

You got a lotion for this. You got a cream for that

Got any perfume that smells like "Get the fuck off my back!"

When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming

Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn into a demon

It ain't summer Eve, don't try to play me like a douche

You want a bite of my fruit? Well you can swallow the truth!

Eve:

Don't even bring up swallow!

The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow

One pop, chump, and you're hung like a weasel

Pfft, ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle!

You want alone time? Have it! In fact

Suck your own dick, and shave your own back

That apple's the best thing I've bit so far

Now I see how much of a dick you are

Adam:

I wasn't listening. Are you still flapping those lips?

I was just thinking, yo did I give up a rib for this?

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is

All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

...

I'm sorry.

Eve:

...I'm sorry, too.

Adam:

Alright, nice!

Eve:

Don't even think about it!

Adam:

Okay, that's fine, we can eat.

Scrapped lyrics
God: 

You both need each other, but you need some other things to.

'Cause only one whole plus one whole can possibly equal two.

So work on yourself and inspire homie, Don't tell her what to do.

'Cause your little penis can't imagine what her vagina is prepared to do.

When she pushes out a tiny little version of your whiny ass.

You're gonna feel pretty stupid about the fight you had about the trash.

Poll
Who Won? Adam Eve

Trivia

 * This is the first battle to feature a man battle a woman.
 * Third to feature women battling, the first two being Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga and Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe.
 * Third time Nice Peter does not rap in the ERB.
 * This was the first battle to be age-restricted on YouTube for a short period of time.
 * This is the first battle since Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney to feature an Epic Dance Battle of History, as seen here.
 * This is the first battle to be subtitled in Spanish.
 * God was supposed to rap a small verse in the battle, but ERB scrapped the idea. (Lyrics above).