User blog:DudeWithASuit/Ace Ventura vs Dale Earnhardt. Dwassy G's Underground Sewer Battles

Lmao. So this is something I wrote in maybe 2ish hours after Ynkr was talking about NASCAR not being a sport and Ace Ventura not being a movie, but a film. So yeah. This is where the real shit goes down, we're even further Underground than before! :O

Also, consider this my tribute for you, Ynkr. ;D

Ace Ventura:
(Beat starts at 0:22) I'm facing the amateur league of crashing? Oh wow, that's so impressive.

Well now you're facing Ace Ventura; the best professional pet detective!

I'm clearly the better man here, so how about you just go and leave?

'Cause I got more than a few rhymes hidden up my sleeve!

How can you be athletes when your "athletes" only crash into walls?

I expect your rhymes to be so shit we can call them "When Nature Calls!"

Silly Dale, you should know not to step to this man with the best fashion.

So how about you go back to getting all your fame from Captain Falcon.

Dale Earnhardt:
Well, if there's one mistake you made, it's challenging me, Ace.

I'm going over 300 miles per hour, you can't keep up in this lyrical chase!

Best make a U-turn now, because you can't match to my brilliance!

And get it through your head you're a movie, not a film, 'cause there's a fucking difference!

How can you be a better rapper when your verse was worse than your personality!

While your flow was like a chihuahua, mine was verbal beastiality!

This isn't even a fair fight, it's like a Tiddy Bear against the motor.

As my verse comes to an end, I just lyrically pulled you over!

Ace Ventura:
<p style="color:#F70D1A">Woah man! Beastiality jokes? What are you tryin' to do? Go to court?

<p style="color:#F70D1A">I think someone here is just mad no one ever calls what he does a sport!

<p style="color:#F70D1A">And if car puns are the best you got, then you've won the award for worst comebacks.

<p style="color:#F70D1A">I could make a better diss by just talking about your mustache!

<p style="color:#F70D1A">I got soul, bro! Look at the poll! It says I'm going on a fucking roll!

<p style="color:#F70D1A">Who wants to come celebrate my victory by watching the "Grand Theft: Supper Bowel"!

<p style="color:#F70D1A">I respect you died doing what you love, I mean, that's just depressing.

<p style="color:#F70D1A">Because that means you died doing something that's less of a sport than wrestling.

Dale Earnhardt:
<p style="color:#0C18F7">Shut up you wannabe detective, go back to a mental hospital!

<p style="color:#0C18F7">Good job showing me you can do even worse than before, I didn't think it was possible.

<p style="color:#0C18F7">We're nearing the final lap of the race, and it appears you've fallen behind!

<p style="color:#0C18F7">Guess that means I'll once again win the title "Best Rapper and Racer of All Time"!

<p style="color:#0C18F7">Have you ever seen what you wear? How can you possibly have the best class!?

<p style="color:#0C18F7">Also, where did you get your rhymes from? Out of a rhino's ass!?

<p style="color:#0C18F7">I could beat you if we were playing any sport; Touchdown, slam dunk, Home-run!

<p style="color:#0C18F7">So whatever you challenge me at. Just know I've already won.

Poll
Who won? Ace Ventura Dale Earnhardt