User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/The Babadook vs The Bogeyman - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 4

Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Epic Rap Battles of Horror. Writing a big long introduction sounds like the last thing I want to do right now but oh boy here we go stick with me here. Today's battle was initially suggested by BTTF to which I am very greatful because I really wanted a good opponent for Mister Babadook and I had never even though about using the Bogeyman. Anyways, following suit with this trend of having stories in peoples battles, todays battle is a story technically. I would like to thank GravityMan for his super help with writing for the Bogeyman, as well as helping patch up my shitty writing that you will be able to read below. You can check out his latest (horrorish) mythology battle here. I'm not doing casts any more, I'm not really having fun with them and more often than not they come out ridiculous and repetitive. Anyways, todays matchup features the horrifying Bogeyman squaring off with the demonic Mister Babadook, to see who's the superior monster to haunt children throughout the night and who deserves to... okay nvm not gonna spoil that story you're probably gonna skip anyways. Either way, hope you enjoy the battle. It was going to be a 12x12 to make up for the last one being cut short but ofc the beat didn't run long enough so it's an 12x8. Fuck me.

Opening
The room is quiet. The walls are a light pink, and the carpet is red, but none of this is easily seen as it is all obscured by darkness. A bright full moon can be seen outside of the open window, which leads to a balcony. A young girl, dressed in a pink sweater and skirt is seen sleeping on top of her covers. All is quiet

But the silence was fragile, broken by the sound of her closet door creaking open oh so gently. After a brief moment, two large red eyes appear out of the darkness and survey the room. An unholy abomination of a creature, too ugly for words, creeps out from the closet, its large hands, pencil-length fingers, stretching for the poor girl, unaware as to what is happening. He is the Bogeyman. As he is about to close in, a large rattling noise from behind him frightens him back towards his closet. He then realizes this sound was not that of a disgruntled parent entering the room, but rather a pop-up book on the shelf, rattling around as if sentient. It falls from the shelf after a short time, and the Bogeyman retreats to the closet in case the noise surprises and wakes his next potential victim.

The book falls to the floor, where it stays for a short period of time. The silence comes back. All that is heard is the light snoring of the child. It is then that the book bursts open, flipping past many pages depicting a large silhouette of a fearsome man wearing a top hat and a trenchcoat. As this occurs, large fingers creep their ways out of the pages themselves. The Bogeyman could not believe what was happening. Things were not going according to plan. The monster finally surfaced and showed himself for what he was - a tall and pale man, a clash of dark black and chalk white, stands up and adjusts his hat. He is Mister Babadook. And he is here for the same victim.

Mister Babadook creeps his way over to the kid’s bed, sharp blades ejecting from his fingertips, ready to make the kill. As he raises his hand, a large gust of wind forces him backwards and sends him sprawling across the floor. Instantly, he takes to all fours and climbs up onto the ceiling like a spider, as a sharp shadow pulls off the wall, forming The Bogeyman, who at first seems ready to battle the creature in order to claim the victim for himself. But pausing, his blood stained lips curling up to form a smirk, Bogeyman decides to instead be a total dick about it.

“Hands off the kid, pervert, she’s mine!” He barks.

Mister Babadook drops from the ceiling and adjusts his jacket. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Bogeyman.” he said with a large smile. There was an abrupt silence.

“...you gonna follow up on that?” The Bogeyman asked.

“No, to be honest, I’ve got nothing.” Mister Babadook replied.

“Huh, fair enough. A-anyways, this kid is mine! Go find your own minor to harass, unless you’re ready for an asskicking!”

“Oh, I am more than ready!”

“You’re… you’re ready for an asskicking?”

“Uhhh…. I meant, I’m ready to kick… YOUR… ass!”

“Bring it, spiderbastard!”

“I’m ready, bogey bitch!”

The Bogeyman flings off his dirty overcoat, a mic gripped tightly in his spindly hands as the beat begins to play... shits going down bruh

Introduction
Beat: Fake Friend

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!



VS!



BEGIN!

Bogeyman:
Greetings, kiddies! Look at who just, popped, up!

A gross infestation who I can spit out like the bug!

You’re in the back of the shelf, unknown to mankind

While I prey on more worms than you do at suppertime

You’re a baby, only able to walk and talk, but can’t pick a simple lock

You’re so fucking dense, you’d even be at the bottom of my cooking pot!

It’s ironic that I’m rocking this rejected KISS member!

If this dick gets lost in my wood he’ll find himself dismembered!

Think you could scare me? Ha! Man, keep dreamin’!

You look like the outcome of Johnny Depp fucking Lincoln!

I’m sure if you had made it past the doorstep, you’d be a decent demon,

But now you’re just a neutered pet waiting for your next feedin’

The Babadook:
Knock knock! The storybook is back, with more gimmicks and fun crimes,

So step up, Mr. sponge-slime, come find this “threat” merely means lunchtime,

I’m on the frontlines, here to munch the rhymes from this walking punchline!

And he’ll learn to fear Mr. Babadook harder than he does the sunshine!

Don’t take me for granted, you’re a manic satanic made to keep kids in a panic,

Better cram it, this scandalous bandit steals styles as he stole his purpose from Krampus!

Tough luck, stealing from a thief itself! I’ll take great pleasure in slaughtering a talking crook,

So it’ll be the second time I kill a Santa! Happy Holidays from the Babadook!

Sam has the weaponry to put an end to ye, everything scary about you except your stink!

My rhymes see to it that you shrink - spook you like a Teddy Bear, you won’t sleep a wink!

Whether it's in a rap, or in a book, you can't get rid of the Babadook!

But to dismiss YOU? It's no issue! All I need is a box of tissues!

Bogeyman:
Ha! Your rhymes were so childish, they’d be perfect for your picture book,

You can quit your knocking mate, I’ll be out back burning the Babadook!

You’re Essie Davis, I’m an Oscar, you’re not even close to touching me!

The Bogeyman’s in your head! Give Stay Puft back his mode of summoning!

I’ll roast your wiener on a stick, like you signed up for camp

You can pet a pooch but not even with your own hands!

So put yourself together before I shred your next rap,

I exterminate summer camps, you couldn’t murder one brat

The Babadook:
And I imagine your plights against adolescents are so successful?

You’ve been reduced to helping kids behave! And to think they used to call you devil!

You’re scraggly and old - I’m too fly with this tall hat, suit and long coat,

And large black boots, good for crushing this ugly unlucky Bugsy like a cockroach!

But I’ll soon take off my funny disguise, fingers like knives, no sense in trying to hide

Send you cowering back under the bed. When I’m inside your head, you’ll wish you were dead!

So



You’ve lost it! I’m under your skin and you couldn’t even hope to vomit

Me out, because this profitless box office tragicomic should have stayed inside the closet!

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!

Ending
The two monsters begin to wrestle, when suddenly, the Bogeyman screams in anguish.

“The fuck was that?” Mister Babadook inquires, “I hardly even touched you”

“Okay, first off, fuck YOOOU asshole, you twisted my finger. But that wasn’t you I was screaming about, no… that felt like…”

“Sunlight.” Mister Babadook finished, seeing more rays of light peer through the window. “Shitballs.” Mister Babadook returns to his book, as the Bogeyman sulks back into the closet and closes the door.

After a long, quiet silence, the young child coughs a bit and is jolted away. She surveys the room, before getting out of bed and pulling out a small notepad that she scribbles something unseen onto. She places the notepad back on the shelf, with the title in clear view

"MADOTSUKI’S DREAM JOURNAL"

Outro


Who Won? The Bogeyman Mister Babadook

Hint Decoding:

Whether it's in a word or in a look, you can't get rid of the Babadook