User blog:UnstableIsotope42/Scientific Rap Battles - S1E4 - Erwin Schrödinger vs Ivan Pavlov

It's been a whole month since my last battle, and I'm pretty glad with this installation of SRB!

This is probably one of the most highly requested rap battles I've had, with a whopping total of 2 suggestions! This battle has Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger, famous for his thought experiment "Schrödinger's cat", pitted against Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov, well known for his conditioning tests on dogs, and the "Pavlovian response". To be honest, I'm pretty happy with how this battle turned out! (It might even be my favorite so far.) I like all the lines, puns, and references I managed to fit in, even though some of the lines sit a bit wonky at times. I'm just glad to have this battle out before I completely forget about it.

Also here's a useless fun fact that I couldn't get into this battle: both people in this battle got a Nobel Prize. (Although Schrödinger's is brought up, Pavlov's isn't, so I think it counts.)

At any rate, here's the battle!

Battle
(Pavlov's verses are in dark gray, and Schrödinger's verses are in silver .)

BEAT: http://www.shadowville.com/123071/genres/gangsta-beats/hell-raizer (Pavlov's verse starts at 0:10)

SCIENTIFIC RAP BATTLES!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Pavlov:
No need for observation, I’ll be harping on this physicist,

Conditioned to be the slickest Ryazanian lyricist!

If you want to gorodki with me, I’ll pin you quickly,

And dissect this mess, so call this a vivi.

I was stompin’ up to Stalin when you contemplated qualia,

And when it came to biology, you’re a blatant failure!

I’ll roast you every Wednesday--I just don’t quit!

Just make sure you don’t choke on your own spit!

Schrödinger:
Who lab-grows potatoes? You’re surely no fun,

Chances you better me’s square root of negative 1!

Times Planck’s and psi with time derivatives

Equals up to you being a H-orrid Psi-chologist!

I digress, Petrovich, I’m sure this would ring a bell,

But with that drool on your shirt, I honestly can’t tell,

Trust me: Don’t think your studies would’ve got far.

If it weren’t for you being backed by the USSR.

Pavlov:
C’mon Erwin! My dogs haven’t spat worse,

What is Life? How 'bout What was that Verse?

Call this homicide, I’m blowing up like gunpowder,

Spit like cyanide, you won’t even touch nuclear power!

Schrödinger:
With your labs and Labs, it’s a horror house you’re runnin’

With the implants in mouths and the holes in stomachs!

And then experiment on orphan boys, what a test!

I don’t know if I should call up PETA or CPS!

Pavlov:
The only way you got the Nobel was off Dirac’s back,

And at that rate, call it the Einstein-Schrödinger cat.

You were against the Nazis, up until the Anschluss,

Then became an apologist: now that’s Schrödinger logic!

Schrödinger:
I’m outstanding in my group and field, your legacy’s wispy,

I’d give your outcome a solid fifty-fifty,

But if you double down quickly like your lungs did,

It’s 100% certainty that Schrödinger wins!



SCIENTIFIC... (Pauses, after a while bells ring.) RAP BATTLES!

Who Won? Erwin Schrödinger Ivan Pavlov