User blog:Iamthelegion/Wiki Christmas - Day 10: J'Zargo vs The Grinch

Eyyyy so this is the Lyrical Elder Scrolls WIki Christmas special. To celebrate this auspicious occassion, we have J'Zargo, Khajiit mage from the College of Winterhold, against The Grinch, Seuss' Who's who of Whos, to see which outcast on a wintry mountain is a better thief. Initial thanks to User:Element K for the title cards and iTunes cover, User:Brandon Service DF for the slot I'm doing this in, and User:Icey778 for being a real G even though he wasn't able to get Grinch done for this (so yeah Grinch is nowhere near as good as a result).

This was not hinted too in any way, shape or form so yeah don't feel bad if you didn't get the non-existent hints :P

TS it'll still have a hint to the next LES battle and is considered canon to the series :P

RLYoshi as the Grinch in Whoville

thelegion as J'Zargo in the College of Winterhold

Uhh teh battle:
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The Grinch:

I must put a stop to this infernal hated rap arena!

I have an idea! A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

Watch as I freeze you out, I'll make this quick

Stealing the victory like success from ol' St. Nick

You'll be wanting to borrow this flow when I'm through

because like Arch-Mage, true skill eludes you!

I'll break you to pieces, so you could fit into pockets

When I call out my reindeer you'll cower behind a locket!

J'Zargo:

J'Zargo scoffs at your lyrics as the superior Battlemage

Horton wouldn't hear this Who's claims, even if he was paid

J'Zargo would dominate, best anyplace a bell tolls

KILL IT WITH FIRE! Raps reliable as J'Zargo's scrolls

J'Zargo has a Winter-hold on victory over this green Lorax

An Khajiit-Argonian alliance made an atrocity useless as a torchbug thorax

J'Zargo fulfils J'Zargo's civic duty in killing trolls

J'Zargo has seen Dovah more likely to summon cold

The Grinch:

I'm sick of you and all your NOISE, NOISE, NOISE!

You're a villain, stealing trinkets, baubles and toys!

Calling me a troll? It's all Ogre for Puss in Boots

Your verse backfired like your scrolls, you duche!

Beefing with the undead is ironic considering your fanbase

is made of drawn out Draugr with vampirically pale faces

You're getting sacked, you'll be trapped under Saarthal

Even when my heart was a third the size I had SOME morals!

J'Zargo:

J'Zargo is taken aback at these defamatory lies

J'Zargo wins unless your verse tripled in size

J'Zargo wouldn't go green in the face of an adversary

But your heart go back three as I give a quaternary

J'Zargo's more Kaa than cheat, truly mesmerising

Dispatch a Seuss deuce like a Dragon Priest stuck his head in

Outro:
Who won? J'Zargo took the competition The Grinch stole the victory

HINT!