User blog:Teddyfail/TVMost vs TVB - Epic Fail Battles of History

So who like some real obscure characters people never know? No one? Ok, fine. Then who like TVMost? Oh, just me and Gab.

This is probably the most obscure battle the wiki have ever seen. I challenge you to find me a battle more obscure than this one.

Enough talking and shit. It's the biggest and the only TV station *sign* in Hong Kong TVB, against the parody channel TVMost, to see.... who's the real TV channel?

Cast
Timothy DeLaGhetto as TVB

Gregory Charles Rivers as TVMost

Wong Sad Ying, Professor Dickson, Natalis Chan, Moses Chan as themselves

The battle
EPIC FAIL BATTLES OF HISTORY



VS



BEGIN

Beat starts at 0:11

The battle=

TVB:
The CCTVB is here to kick some ass

I'm higher class. My crew is bigger than your entire cast

When I lecture you, you gonna love me like going back home

I'm the only real TV station here so please, watch your tone

Cause I'll put you on 網絡挑機, suing you til I wreck your behind

You are more boring than ATV Forever and Finding MoMo combined

My rhymes shine like a Pearl, the best in Hong Kong

I'm so sick cause I'm made in China: I'm the bomb

TVMost:
Sure, you're the bomb, like the sequel of love, come home

Just rapping against you is making me have Stockholm Syndrome

The online TV channel against the on9 TV channel

You can't handle this battle. I'm gonna chop you up like iCable

Look at you, you're ancient, the shittiest TV station

With all your mistakes in the dramas, you're a disgrace to all the Asians

Look at what I have from the beginning, I'm the king of parody

Rap is so Golden, even Weird Al bow down to me

I'll bitch slap you like Leung Chai Yan if you make more mistake than Treegun

I will make you cry like Wong Sad Ying when I kick you right in your Dickson

I'm the real • rapper. You are making shit like Captain of Destiny

Why you are here is because of Mainland China and monopoly

TVB:
Oh, using others is my success' solution?

You wouldn't be here without the Umbrella Revolution

I'm the key of Hong Kong history. All you do are just parody

And I will ban your ass more than article 23

While all of your shows are just made by a bunch of youngsters

I got someone who would have made Facebook, only if he was younger

Why don't you lie more to you fans about who's the real boss

Double check it with Moses Chan, he said you've just lost

TVMost:
Where's the happy ending and BBQ? Oh, I just get deja vu

Reusing the three plots that you've got? Oh, Same on you

How can you accuse me of parody when you only know how to copy?

I'm gonna beat you til your eyes are black. This is My TV

I will leave you dead like Manchester. Let's see how you will survive

And Now, thanks to our sponsors Shell, I will do it live

You're a mockery, I'm the comedy making fun of policies

And honestly, those soapy opera have the worst quality

Your audience are housewives use you as background noise when cooking

This generation love me, just look at my concert's ticket booking

You are wasting talents like those cream cakes. How about you set them free

If you don't even want to change, you gonna be like ATV

Rap meaning= I put the Chinese name of the things that I'm referencing next to the English name just so it's more clear. Actually, it doesn't matter. Not like you guys will understand it anyway. Well, at least I feel better.

TVB:
The CCTVB is here to kick some ass

(CCTV is a TV station in Mainland China. CCTVB is a nickname for TVB for kissing Mainland China's ass.)

'''I'm higher class. My crew is bigger than your entire cast'''

(Exactly what it means.)

When I lecture you, you gonna love me like coming back home

(Come Home Love (愛回家) is a long running sitcom made by TVB.)

I'm the only real TV station here so please, watch your tone

(TVB is the biggest TV station in HK. Most people don't watch the other ones (sadly).)

Cause I'll put you on 網絡挑機, suing you til I wreck your behind

(網絡挑機, or The Internet Of Things On TV is a show TVB made where they find HK YouTuber and make fun of them. TVB once sued TVMost because TVMost has a show that sounds too smiliar to a TVB show's name.)

You are more boring than ATV Forever and Finding MoMo combined

(ATV Forever (亞視永恆) is a curring segment in TVMost's parody song show Golden Song. The song is notoriously being reparative by just parody the same two line in every episode. Finding MoMo (人魚樂毛窮) is a TVMost's show where they film their staff to dress in fish costumes and walk in front of a green screen for and hour.)

My rhymes shine like a Pearl, the best in Hong Kong

(Pearl is a side channel in TVB. I try to make a pun out of The Pearl of the Orient. Clearly I failed.)

I'm so sick cause I'm made in China: I'm the bomb

(Many China food products have chemical which is harmful to human, so sick is like that and like being "dope" kind of sick. Jackie Chan once said "China's products will explode" (中國的會爆炸).)

TVMost:
Sure, you're the bomb, like the sequel of Love, Come Home 

(The sequel of the previously mentioned sitcom Come Home Love has bad ratings. Yes, I just referenced the same show twice in a battle. Yes! I changed the name of the show just so I can rhyme. 吹呀?)

Just rapping against you is making me have Stockholm Syndrome

(Ann Chiang (蔣麗云), a politician in HK once said listening to these people talk is so tiring that it is giving her Stockholm Syndrome.)

The online TV channel against the on9 TV channel

(On9 is a term in HK which means "fucking stupid". Online and on9 sounds familiar in English.... I tried.)

'''You can't handle this battle. I'm gonna chop you up like iCable '''

(iCable is paid TV station in HK. A man once brought a machete to the station because he can't end his subscription.)

Look at you, you're ancient, the shittiest TV station

(TVB is old and known for having bad shows.)

With all your mistakes in the dramas, you're a disgrace to all the Asians

(TVB's show has plenty of mistakes.)

Look at what I have from the beginning, I'm the king of parody

(TVMost does parody of alot of topics and most of them are TVB.)

Rap is so Golden, even Weird Al bow down to me

(One of the most popular show on TVMost is Golden Song which parody many songs to mock news and different topics in HK. TVMost is saying the parody is even better than Weird Al's.)

I'll bitch slap you like Leung Chai Yan if you make more mistake than Treegun

(Leung Chai Yan is CY Leung's daughter. She slap her mother right in the facd in public on Halloween. Treegun is a nickname for a politician in HK called Chung Shu Kun. He is known for making tons of laughable mistake like spelling his own name wrong (he spelled it Chirs).)

I will make you cry like Wong Sad Ying when I kick you right in your Dickson

(Wong Sad Ying and Professor Dickson are two characters from TVMost. Wong Sad Ying's character cries alot. It's a pun on dick and Dickson.)

'''I'm the real • rapper here. Go back to make shit like Captain of Destiny '''

(Since the whole channel is a parody of some kind. When TVMost has some real guest they will put "real •" in front of the guest name. Captain of Destiny (張保仔) is a TVB released in 2015 and it's notoriously bad.)

Why you are here is because of Mainland China and monopoly

(TVB success is mostly because of monopolizing the HK television broadcasting and kissing Mainland China's ass.)

TVB:
Oh, using others is my success' solution?

(Just saying words. Idk.)

You wouldn't be here without the Umbrella Revolution 

(TVMost's is created by the people who made the magezine 100Most. It rised to fame during the Umbrella Revolution for mocking the goverment.)

I'm the key of Hong Kong history, All you do are just parody

(This is why sometimes I think rap meaning is pointless.)

I will ban your ass more than article 23

(Internet Article 23 (網絡23條) is a cencorship law that bans any kind of parody work. (Read the wiki page for more detail).)

While all of your shows are just made by a bunch of youngsters

(TVMost calls their fans youngsters (廢青).)

I got someone who would have made Facebook, only if he was younger

(This is referencing Natalis Chan (叻哥). He is an actor in TVB. He said he could have made Facebook or be the Chief Executive of HK if he is younger.)

Why don't you lie more to you fans about who's the real boss

(The fans of TVMost was surprised that one of the owner of TVMost are the owner of Ming Pao. Just read the wiki if you want to.)

Double check it with Moses Chan, he said you've just lost

(Moses Chan (陳豪) is an actor in TVB. He once used the word "check" in a show set in anicent China which is mocked by many.)

TVMost:
'''Where's the happy ending and BBQ? Oh, I just get deja vu'''

(TVB's show usually end in happy ending and one of the comment troops that they use to end it is BBQ with the entire cast. TVMost is mocking TVB is ending his verse without using those troops.)

'''Reusing the three plots that you've got? Oh, Same on you'''

("Same on you!" is a quote come from the politician Chung Shu Kun (yes again). It was suppose to be "Shame on you!" but becuase of his horrible English, he said "Same on you". This is a pun on how TVB uses the same plots.)

How can you accuse me of parody when you only know how to copy?

(TVB copy a lot of shows around the world.)

'''I'm gonna beat you til your eyes are Black. This is My TV'''

(Blackpaper is a magazine-ish magazine that is made by the same people who created TVMost and 100Most. MyTV.com is a website that TVB have for rewatching the shows.)

'''I will leave you dead like Manchester. Let's see how you will survive '''

(Hacken Lee (李克勤) was a huge fan of Manchester United Football Club. He once gave a gift to the football club. The gift was Lee's albums put together and framed it. Not surprisingly, the gift was left in the changing room and the football club didn't accept it. He was mocked for years for this event.)

And Now thanks to our sponsors Shell, I will do it live

(This is referencing the oil company Shell, which sponsored the "TVMost 1st Guy Ten Big Ging Cook Gum Cook Awards Distribution". Now TV is another TV station in HK. Now TV broadcasts the award ceremony live. One TVMost's most popular show is a news report so a Bill O'Reily reference would kinda make sense?)

You're a mockery, I'm the comedy making fun of policies

(TVMost constantly mocks the government.)

And honestly, those soapy opera have the worst quality

(TVB makes alot of soap opera and it's real bad.)

Your audience are housewives use you as background noise when cooking

Yes.)''

This generation love me, just look at my concert's ticket booking

(The "TVMost 1st Guy Ten Big Ging Cook Gum Cook Awards Distribution" tickets was sold out in less than 30 minutes.)

'''You are wasting talents like those cream cakes. How about you set them free'''

(TVB once used cream cakes and smash it in a few actress to promote their newest programme. Many people say they are wasting food and the ad got a lot of flack. TVB has used commercial contracts to prevent artist from appearing in other media, thus trapping a lot of talent but no way for them to show it off.)

If you don't even want to change, you gonna be like ATV

(ATV is another TV station in HK (how many times have I said this?). ATV is now known as being a dead TV station, with no viewership and zero stars. TVB's shows has the same plot over and over again because they play safe.)

WHO WON?

'''YOU DE.... wait, somebody actually suggested this? OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT!'''



EPIC FAIL BATTLES OF HISTORY

WHO WON? TVB TVMost

Trivia

 * The two news headlines in TVMost's background are 'TVMost 1st Guy Ten Big Ging Cook Gum Cook Awards Distribution is today. Most of you don't care.' And '"This battle is great." According to my source (totally not Whatsapp)'.
 * This is the first and only battle that have title cards. This probably will never happen again since laziness is real.

Hints for the next battle
It's time to finish what I've started