User blog:Scrawland Scribblescratch/Epic Rap Battles of SFS Special 4: Evolution!

Hawk's great idea.

Narrator:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

MAN!

VERSUS!

ANCESTORS!

BEGIN!

Australopithecine
The australopithecine, straight out from Africa,

Now I'll school all the gay homos from Australia to America!

Wanna stand up straight? Thank me, and natural selection,

The full power of sapien sapiens comes from my spinal erection.

I have thickest skull, but it has the biggest brain,

My raps will burn your linguistic mind like acid rain!

Homo habilis
I'll habitually employ tools against all of your asses,

My greatest invention will conquer the masses.

I might have the largest brain, but I have the best thinking power,

Coming after me, you determind the ways to count from the hour.

My followers are spread all over sapien's reddit,

Time change the timeline with one final edit.

Homo erectus
Screw your tools and your spines, I'm the most vertically correct,

Pretty soon, you'll all be completely in neglect.

Neanderthalensis, you made the mistake,

of letting sapiens breed with you and claim a stake,

in the future of the world and eradication of your species,

so you were left picking up after their feces!

Neanderthal
Ja! Hailing from Germany,

putting the whole world in harmony,

crossing over to Burgundy,

and inventing the pharmacy!

As I came along, you died out one by one,

history will reveals that I was the one who really won!

Homo sapiens sapien (me and you)
I discovered electricity and adapted to farming,

as I launch my missiles and bombs it'll be you that I'm harming!

From flying overhead, and living in a house,

to nuclear physics and running water to douse,

out all the fire that your idiocy created,

and the scales show, it was my legacy that was weighted.

Narrator
WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC!

(grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!)

RAP!

(insert monkey noises)

BATTLES!

(insert the earliest languages)

OF!

(lightning and airplanes)

HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(nukes being fired)