User blog:TKandMit/Doctor Who vs Doc Scratch. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains

In this timeless battle, two Time Lords from different media - Doctor Who and Homestuck - come to battle; BBC's usuall cheerful 10th Doctor faces off with the manipulative "white text guy", Doc Scratch. Huge thanks to Noah, not only for suggesting this battle and making the cover and titlecards, but for portraying Doc Scratch as well! With that, enjoy.

Cast
deadmau5 as Doc Scratch

Nice Peter as the 10th Doctor

Epic Lloyd as ???

Gavin Free as ???

Intro
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!   Versus!

Begin!

Doc Scratch
Act 5, Part 1, whack dykes are done if they try to test this tutor,

I’m an Excellent Host, and I’ll send this psycho Back To The Future

I spit most excellent rhymes in space and time, clever and coordinated,

So retain the Silence, or else I’ll have you once again Exterminated

I’m a real Bad Wolf, spitting purest smacks when I Scratch a track,

Leave your head spinning so fast, Don’t Blink, or you’ll miss my raps

A nine-hundred-year-old creepin’ on ladies? How very shady,

Cali-born again nine times? Your brain must have rot to Jelly, Baby

Doctor Who do you think you are? Your whole fanbase is going under

Because I’m already D E A D, haunting you through your head, S U C K E R S

10th Doctor
Allons-y, Allonso! Oi, another Doctor wants to quarrel?

That verse was awful! Back to big ball and wibble wobble to Lalonde, yo!

Reading your comic is impossible! Who’s rightly got the time to?

Daleks are more comprehendible! You got more sidekicks than I do!

This is a second Questant’s Lament, delivered from the tenth Tennant right,

The testament is bendin’ the white text guy over the edge of time,

I’m passing Scratch in a flash, The Doctor is greater,

Pass off as him; Scratchy, I’m making that Psychic Paper!

But who in the right mind would want to do you?

I could beat you simply with a scan; so Sonic Screwyou!



''The 10th Doctor’s insults make Scratch furious. After this, he reveals himself as Lord English.''

Lord English
WELCOME TO THE DARK CARNIVAL! I’LL BE WATCHING AS TIME SLOWS,

YOUR BODY STARTS TO DECOMPOSE AS I REUNITE YOU WITH ROSE!

I’LL LEAVE YOU SEVERED TO SHOW WHO’S BETTER! GRINDED LIKE CHEDDAR,

YOU’RE LIGHTER THAN FEATHERS, AND LESS INTIMIDATING THAN NEPETA!

YOU INFERNAL MITE, I’LL CRUSH YOU AND LEAVE YOU IN ETERNAL STRIFE,

WEEPING FOREVER LIKE THE ANGELS UNTIL I MORPH YOU TO A KERNELSPRITE

YOU’RE A MONSTER! A TRAITOR! I’M THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM DICTATOR,

PICK A FIGHT WITH ME? I WAS THE SLAYER OF MY OWN CREATOR!

NO SECOND CHANCES. JUST TRY TO FLY AWAY, QUEER.

but how do you expect to outrun me… WHEN I’M ALREADY HERE???



''With his final line, Lord English shoots the 10th Doctor. Getting back up, he has regenerated into the 11th Doctor.''

11th Doctor
Geronimo! The Eleventh steps in with the reddest of the fez,

Besting his enemies without a question, no less,

Discard this heartless garbage when Clara’s in the TARDIS,

Bars of a rap artist are worse than the carnage of Makara’s!

It’s not really a battle when I scorch you like Torchwood,

Shoot me? The one to two, pocket you like you’re on cue!

C’mon Lord, be a pal! You have less character than Lil Cal!

You look a little green with envy, you want to rationale?

You look worse than the Silence! This tyrant’s full of violence,

With such defiance, why don’t you explain again how you’re timeless?

Who won?

Who's next?

You decide!

'Epic! *EXTERMINATE!!* Rap battles of Heroes and Villains!!'

Who won? Doc Scratch / Lord English The 10th and 11th Doctors