User blog:TheScottBird/My Winners of the ERBs

Yo guys, TheScottBird here. I'm a little bored, so: here are the people I thought won in each ERB.

Season One

 * John Lennon
 * Darth Vader
 * Abe Lincoln
 * Sarah Palin
 * Hulk Hogan & Macho Man (mainly just Macho Man)
 * Ludwig van Beethoven
 * Stephen Hawking
 * Easter Bunny
 * Napoleon Bonaparte
 * Billy Mays & Vince Offer
 * Gandalf
 * William Shakespeare (I would've said Seuss, but honestly Thing 1 and Thing 2 ruined it for him)
 * Mr. Rogers
 * Christopher Columbus
 * EpicLLOYD

Season Two

 * Adolf Hitler
 * Master Chief
 * Mario Bros.
 * Michael Jackson
 * Cleopatra
 * Steve Jobs and Bill Gates [TIE]
 * Freddie Mercury
 * Mitt Romney (It was really hard to actually decide. I was gonna go with Lincoln, but Mitt actually dissed Obama a lot.)
 * Dr. Who
 * Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson
 * Clint Eastwood
 * Santa Claus & his Elves
 * Adam & Eve [TIE]
 * Gandhi
 * Nikola Tesla
 * Babe Ruth
 * Mozart
 * 5th. Mikhail Gorbachev 4. Joseph Stalin 3. Vladimir Lenin 2. Rasputin 1. Putin

Season Three

 * Darth Vader & Boba Fett
 * Al Capone
 * Joan of Arc
 * Bob Ross
 * Muhammad Ali
 * 5. Kanye West 4. Ebenezer Scrooge 3. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come 2. Donald Trump 1. J.P. Morgan
 * Rick Grimes & Walter White [TIE]
 * Goku & Superman [TIE]
 * Stephen King
 * Sir Isaac Newton

BONUS: BEST DISSES
"Help! You're making my ears bleed, you need a muzzle/Why you pissed off all the time? Didn't your mom give you a cuddle?"
 * John Lennon:

"You're Paul McCartney's bitch with less talent than Ringo/And I'd rather suck George Bush's dick than Yoko Ono's"
 * Bill O'Reilly:

"You stink Vader, your style smells something sour/You need to wash up dawg, here, step in my shower"
 * Adolf Hitler (1):

"You can't rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother?/So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father?"
 * Darth Vader (1):

"You block bullets with your beard? I catch 'em with my skull/I make fun of 'Walker, Texas Ranger' but I never even seen that show"
 * Abe Lincoln:

"Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose/My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth"
 * Chuck Norris:

"Everything you do is just a rerun of Madonna/Your fans are in a frenzy like a bunch of gay piranha"
 * Sarah Palin:

"You don't belong in politics, you belong at a hockey game/History will regret you like John McCain"
 * Lady Gaga:

"The name's Kim Jong, I got a license to ill/Make you swallow my rhymes like a steroids pill"
 * Kim Jong-Il:

"You're a freak, a phony, a rice-a-roni jabroni/I'm gonna smack you like a check for my alimony"
 * Hulk Hogan:

"I'll elbow-drop your whole nation/On behalf of the entire World Wrestling Federation...oh yeah"
 * Macho Man:

"I'm the next Michael Jackson, you smell like Bette White/Here's some aspirin, you're catching Bieber fever tonight"
 * Justin Bieber:

"There's a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies/You wanna be a little, white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats"
 * Beethoven:

"You can't destroy matter or me for serious/Ripping holes in you bigger than the hole that your black hole theory was"
 * Einstein:

There are ten million... particles in the universe that we can observe/Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd"
 * Stephen Hawking:

"The Great Wall couldn't keep you out of China/Watch me rub my foot for luck and stick it right up your vagina"
 * Easter Bunny

"Easter my ass, you're not in the Bible/You're a fluffy, bitch mascot for Hallmark in denial"
 * Genghis Khan:

"I don't even care for how many, like, fricking Prussians you've killed/'Cause, to me, you're just the Emperor of the Lollipop Guild"
 * Dynamite:

"I'll whip you so bad, they'll make a virgin meringue/You're the only type of Dynamite that's never going to bang"
 * Bonaparte:

"I'm Big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty/Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly"
 * Ben Franklin:

"Hi, Billy Mays here with a special TV offer/Watch me crush this bald, fat, foppish Founding Father"
 * Billy Mays:

"Your boy George chopped down trees, you couldn't break a piece of balsa/Slap-chop your face, make a double-chin salsa"
 * Vince Offer:

"You shall not pass! I rap fast like Shadowfax/Tom Riddle me this, you bitch, how's your little wand gonna beat my staff?"
 * Gandalf:

"You think your hairy-toed friends are gonna harm me?/Wait till they get a taste of Dumbledore's Army"
 * Dumbledore:

"I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces/Each is such a wonder with a plethora of features/You're pathetically predictable/You think your new book might include/A trisyllabic meter/And some ghetto Muppet creatures/The Bard is the building/It's a castle, I'm a boss/I bet I'm Parliament/I'm positive I'm killing it/I'm iller than the plague I never caught/A cholera, a baller-baller/And some cricket bowler business/While you're sitting in the bleachers
 * Shakespeare:

"I would not, could not, on a boat/Read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote"
 * Cat in the Hat

"All does not end well when we bust out our cage/You're upstaged Bill, yo' you just got played"
 * Things 1 & 2

"I will Mr. T-Bag you in the closest cemetery/Nobody gonna miss you 'cause all your friends imaginary"
 * Mr. T

"I'll say this once Lawrence, I hope I'm understood/Get right back in your van and get the fuck out of my Neighborhood"
 * Mr. Rogers

Season One: To be continued.

Season Two: To be continued.

"You're just a sad, asthmatic robot freak who need some lovin'/Well I baked you something, here, pop into my oven"
 * Adolf Hitler (3):

"You wrote a little book, got 'em fired up/Had a Beer Hall Putsch, got 'em fired up/When your bunker started getting fired up/You put a gun in your mouth and fired up"
 * Darth Vader (3):

"They call me Boba Fett, you wanna mess with me? I'll put my balls in your mouth like boba tea"
 * Boba Fett:

"You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine/If you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes"
 * Blackbeard:

"Take your little sloop John B. and go home/Tell South Carolina, Blackbeard got Capwned"
 * Al Capone:

"Sweet burn ('ooh'), no pun intended/You're a cross-dressing peasant betrayed by those you defended"
 * Miley Cyrus:

"My Father taught me things your daddy couldn't teach ya/Your highest calling was a text from Wiz Khalifa"
 * Joan of Arc:

"Why don't you go back home and beat your brush, you chump?/I can make better art with my wiener, Lump"
 * Pablo Picasso:

"Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam?/'Cause you got as much of beating me as LeBron"
 * Michael Jordan:

"You need to bounce back to North Carolina, kid/'Cause your rapping sucks more than Space Jam did"
 * Muhammad Ali:

"When the clock strikes, prepare to enter a world of Christmas pain/'Cause I'm out, I got my own f***ing problems, call me 2-Chainz"
 * Donald Trump:

"Haunt all you want, I don't care/I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair"
 * Ebenezer Scrooge:

"Because your greed is the curse that's gonna tear you apart/What good is your purse if you're poor in your heart?"
 * J.P. Morgan:

"Just take a lesson from Yeezy, you're missing the point Ebeneezy/There's more to life than your work, take it easy; even I can make time for Azizy"
 * Kanye West:

"The penance you pay for the way you behave/Is written as plain as the name on this grave"
 * Ghost of Christmas YTC:

"Carl, I said stay back with the others/While I finish this bitch like you finished your mother"
 * Rick Grimes:

"I'm a kingpin cooking crystal in the middle of the day/Having dinner by the pool with the DEA/Run you over with my Aztek: GTA/If you ever try to stop Heisenburg getting paid"
 * Walter White:

"I'm killing it, you're Krillin it, I'm villainous to vegetables/Who dance around in Hammer pants, that hide their tiny genitals"
 * Superman:

"There's only one way this battle's gonna end/One more Superman who's never gonna walk again"
 * Goku:

"Even if you're gripping on a weapon, then you better get to stepping if you're messing with the horror lord/In a minute, maybe I'mma hit him, cut him into itty bitty bits and I'mma stick him in the floorboards"
 * Edgar Allan Poe:

"Fame? Money? Talent? Success?/You'll always have less...never more"
 * Stephen King:

"Of all the scientific minds in History, they put Beaker in a bow-tie up against me?/I'm a master, I discovered gravity; I drop rhymes like they're falling from an apple tree"
 * Sir Isaac Newton:

"You wrote the book on gravity, but you couldn't attract no body/Your work on orbits was exemplary, but your number of friends was shoddy"
 * Bill Nye:

"Why don't you pick on a brain your own size?/We got a badass over here, plus I got your back Nye"
 * Neil deGrasse Tyson:


 * George Washington:


 * William Wallace: