User blog:Bantha117/Walt Disney vs Jim Henson - ARBoUDQ (OGTTISLAL)



Welcome, one and all, to the season finale of Awesome Rap Battles, featuring special guests- well, us. Ye. MunKittA6 at last. This battle has been a project 3 months in the making, and after lots of tweaking (and some pressure from the possible finale of ERB overtaking us), it’s finally made in a way we think that is ready for you guys to see. So sit back, relax, and hopefully, enjoy.

Awesomesix here (why’d it take me so long to type that), and as you could probably tell by now, with special guests MunKitteh. Now, this isn’t the first time I made this battle (in my first variation of the series), but it’s certainly the better. This was originally going to be the penultimate, but then the finale did a poop and ye. So, watch as idols of the writers, the puppeteer Jim Henson, and animator Walt Disney, rap battle in a sendoff to a season which ends on a high note in my battles (or just began in MunKitteh, this is confusing, isn’t it?) And here’s to me making my first Season 4! You can read it now. Go. Shoo. Scroll pls.

Tigger’s note: Credit Conner and Bantha for this mostly since they did most of the work. :D (also I don’t know nearly as much about the characters as they do)

Walt Disney vs Jim Henson
AWESOME RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS SLIGHTLY LESS ABSURDLY LONG!



VERSUS



BEGIN!

Walt Disney:

(Begins at 0:28)

Now in theaters! The first-rate creator of Mickey!

Has made the latest greatness, with our special guest Jimmy!

Starring in today's screen: a bland ham-handed man Piggy!

Unmanned to make a stand against the dissing of Disney!

Get owned like your company! I'll descend on Henson gladly!

Try to attack me, you'll be hiding more blight than just acne!

22 Oscars to me, and a Hollywood Star, bitch!

The one Oscar they gave you? You threw in the garbage!

I’ve got family treasures, you’ve got Bowie’s family jewels.

I’m a cinematic addict, in-cine-rap’s where I rule!

Getting stiff from weird shit! Damn, you’re having Bert-strip!

I'm the thug of film production, you're a butt plug to Muppets!

Jim Henson:

(Begins at 1:01)

It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights,

It’s time to beat Mr. Monopoly on the Muppet Show tonight!

I’m street-smart, a real artist who’s got real heart,

Depart deep, harsh beatings with each and every bar,

This eminent anti-semitic doesn’t know what he’s fucking with,

So the big D can come and suck on a Snuffleupagus!

Your blows are as low as your channel's own shows,

Henson’s got the flow that leaves your whole mind froze. (ooh)

Your movie plots duplicate, every zippity-day I educate,

Hiding in Touchstones, with Sex and Violence, man, I never hesitate.

You’ll be screaming “Uncle”, Walt, before this battle is over,

There’s a Monster at the End of This Rap; it ain’t Grover.

Walt Disney:

(Begins at 1:35)

I'm starting a Renaissance, your “friendly monsters” creep kids!

Step to me? I own the World! Henson’s in some deep shit!

Bruise the Newsom nuisance with nuance, firing shots like you're Bambi!

Slam this damned “hand dancer”. Man, ain’t Disney just dandy?

I’m the King of the castle, this weak rookie’s my pawn!

Compared to me? Bitch please, you're like Pepe the prawn!

Plan of attack your right hand wizardy man couldn't handle!

Send you the way of Dinosaurs! All your shows? Been Cancelled.

Jim Henson:

(Begins at 1:57)

Oh, I'll take my cancelled shows over the shit you’ve slung;

It’s better than a lyrical impediment and cancer in the lungs!

Your lines are like your women’s faces, generic with every creation,

Rewriting gory stories with half-assed romance and worse animation!

Try calling yourself the best after these a hundred-one dominations,

Out of all you’ve made, I think Anastasia’s still your greatest!

So quit talking, before I roast you like your mother and my coffee.

The Business giant slayed by the “pawn”, yo, Miyazaki!

Walt Disney:

(Begins at 2:19)

Oh, that’s it, you’ve done it! I’m fed up! Not gonna take your shit!

You wanna play this, kid? Face the face of Disney! The mouse is in!

Mickey Mouse:

(Begins at 2:25)

Ho-ho! Mickey Mouse in the house! Rodent running the club!

Might be short in height, but in monopolization I make up!

Have your shows, your movies, and company, all come kiss my ass!

Purchase your raps, it’ll take more than two movies to come back!

If you don’t have your frog, man, then you can just forget it!

‘Cause even at your own funeral, Kermit got all the credit!

Jim Henson:

(Begins at 2:42)

Bringing in your mascot? Proof your ass got beat!

But let me level the playing field. Kermit, bring the heat!

Kermit the Frog:

(Begins at 2:47)

Welcome to the Muppet Show, with our very special guest- Walt Disney!

Oh, bitch, please! I’m about to go more HAM than Miss Piggy!

This pest is gonna get his ass kicked over the rainbow connection!

When it comes to running Muppets, I’m the best at direction!

It ain’t easy being green when Disney wants to sell out!

Stepping to me, Mickey? It’s your suicide, mouse! (YAYYY!)

Mickey Mouse:

(Begins at 3:04)

Don’t make those types of jokes in your superior's direction!

Battling me, frog legs? Bitch, this is your second dissection!

Kermit the Frog:

(Begins at 3:09)

This atrocious rodent, boss me? That’s a J.P. Grosse thought indeed!

If your shows are as clever as your raps, I can see why you’d want me!

(Disney begins to draw in cartoons ( Donald, Goofy , and Minnie ) to help him calm down Mickey. Meanwhile, Henson tries to get the Muppets ( Miss Piggy , Fozzie Bear , and Gonzo ) to help stop Kermit, but they instead get in on the fight.)

Cartoons:

(Begins at 3:15)

Oh, quiet you! Time to show these babies we spit it harsh! Gawrsh!

We deliver lines more toxic than the gas in your marsh!

Muppets:

(Begins at 3:20)

Now, that’s not funny! Its a cock-fight! Prepare for a pork-chop! (HIYAH!)

Mickey’s bitches? Excluding Pluto? Those all the jokes you got?

(Disney tries to draw more cartoons to help, only for them to all join in the battle. Meanwhile, more Muppets come in on the theme song stage setup behind Henson.)

Cartoons:

(Begins at 3:26)

We last throughout the decades! Mention Henson? We’ll forget him!

From TV to Broadway, you’re all witnessing the Disney Armageddon!

Muppets:

(Begins at 3:32)

Trying to make up for the Dark Ages with all the originality you bought?

You made some Hitler jokes, huh? How much did that Holo-cost?

Cartoons:

(Begins at 3:37)

From the Avengers to the Critic, to the ABCs, we own it all!

So get your asses in the castle, ‘cause you’re in our Small World after all!

Muppets:

(Begins at 3:43)

We’re the most sensational, inspirational, creations, you see?

You can keep the greed, real entertainment’s for lovers, dreamers, and me!

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?



AWESOME-

Statler: Well, that sure was new and original!

Waldorf: What, you liked that mess?

Statler: No, let me finish! Surely new and original to hate!

Both: OHOHOHOHOH!

-RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY!

OH GOD! WE’RE STILL MAKING JOKES ABOUT THE TITLE’S LENGTH!



Who done a winner? Walt Disney & Cartoons Jim Henson & Muppets