User blog:Mortal5075/Phoenix Wright vs Sherlock Holmes - Epic Rap Battles of Mortality

Welcome. I have been juggling and buggling between the projects I want to do, mine and guest stuff and I am glad to say this has been the first one to pump out because its been a while in making. Furthermore, I wish you all a very Merry Cristmas and hope you have a great time ending this wonderful year. To make this year as wonderful as possible, why not brighten up your life by reading this battle. Now, as a kid I did not have internet and spent most of my time reading books. The frequent number of these books were Sherlock Holmes ones, and seeing how his portrayal in ERB was imo pretty shit I was very delighted to work on this character. I was even more delighted to work on Phoenix Wright, whose series I do absolutely love, but maybe not as much as Damon does. Shoutout to his series, looking forward to Fawlty vs Bates. For anyone who does not get it, the connection is...flimsy really but I think it works. I think there are a lot of similarities between Sherlock and Phoenix. They're out here helping the innocent people from the evil corrupt world and finding out the real bad guys. Main connection is helping the innocent from being found guilty of crimes, when no one was there to help them yadda yadda all this ace attorney stuff. They also like defend and shit. Either way, hope you enjoy the battle, especially you Damon.

The Battle
Phoenix Wright: (00:27) -

The court's adjourned and now I'll show this slob how to defend properly.

Good thing that this defendant is a free to abuse property. (Eyy!)

See by the title of Great Detective he was once so greatly known.

But now his life shortened up so much he became a garden gnome! (Oh!)

This old dog is barking like some Baskerville hound thing.

But the only mark he'll leave is his body's ballistic marking.

So when I'll point my finger at you then prepare, Sherlock Holmes.

One gust of wind and I blow foes like busted airlocks, homes.

Sherlock Holmes (00:55) -

Excuse me sir, are you insinuating that in detectives you're the better fit?

Well humour this, you will now die from a Thinker like your mentor did.

You might think you scored a kill but even when in Falls I faded.

The Queen of England herself had the autopsy updated!

Bring up your Court Record and write this Wright diss.

Cause Wright thinks he is fly like his Phoenix bird's likeness.

But he keeps fighting for minorities justice.

So there aint no way he is Wright-winged!

Phoenix Wright (01:21) -

You might think with all that pipe you're smoking more smoke would be said.

But write your will cause Phoenix will now deliver some boots to the head. (Bam!)

How could I not be good with words, I got the wordplay to my name!

Mister, I don't just stand with Justice, I overshadow his own game! (It's true!)

This Phoenix's flipping the birds, bringing the burns and twisting more turns than Tony Hawk

My rhymes cut so deep inside of you that you now have Black Psyche Locks.

So to prove this old man needs to go to bee farms and get his retirements planned.

I won't waste a diss, I'll just call Will Ferrell to the stand.

Sherlock Holmes (01:50) -

Now I'm a gentleman and I keep respect but let me say some cold facts.

Your so called mighty gusts of wind have the power of Wendy Oldbags.

With that hair and blue suit I'd think you'd be writing Sonic fan fictions.

But with those little girls, the only thing you'll catch is a conviction!

Here's a tip, maybe instead of ladders and step ladders.

Go to your daughter and debate about fathers and step fathers.

Because with how you had a kid but skipped fancy romantic antics.

It truly seems that Trucy's now a Child of Magic Panties.

Phoenix Wright (02:16) -

Please don't talk about adoptions like I don't have that "second party".

You first snatched a girl from Watson and even one from...Moriarty? (Huh?)

But if we piece evidence together what we uncover shall be true.

GOT IT! Irene rejecting you just turned your privates blue! (Knew it!)

TAKE THAT! Your defeat will last for longer than investigation sections

I will shape you up, Holmes, when I scream OBJECTION!

I will beat you ten more times to make sure the truths unfolded.

But with how you're shaking up on crack I'm not sure if you can HOLD IT!

Sherlock Holmes (02:41) -

Let's closely examine our client and build ourselves an evaluation.

He got more dirt on his badge than he has on his reputation.

Any schmuck could make him trust them if they very prettily lied.

So with how he cannot see red flags just like Godot he’s blind!

I'm bad to the Rath-bone with adaptations so its too bad they ruined yours.

Sir, I'm Cumberbatch-shit insane when I'm Downing mic Juniors!

I would take my gun and with bullets forge the VR letters onto you.

But that would not be the only time where forging letters got you screwed!

Phoenix Wright (03:09) -

I'd suggest that you sit down, old man, your wrinkles are much like scrotums.

Before you brag how good your story is bring me the guy who wrote them! (Yes!)

He's the one who made you blow up and yet you get the stage light?

Watson's the one with pen game, you cannot play Wright!

Sherlock Holmes (03:23) -

Oh that's quite a niche schlock, I'm the one who lets sidekicks rot?

I know that your office broke but from you that's rich talk.

The amount of shadow that your students are in is quite obscene.

You treat them like a bigger scrap than the crap of your latrine!

Phoenix Wright (03:35) -

Your doctor's running out of patients with all these cases where he's lead.

I guess you wanted some strong bonding outside of your experiments! (Wink!)

You're fighting Cthulhu (What?), I'm revolting legal systems and break crowns.

So me breaking down why you're guilty in weakest bars? Now that's this culprit's breakdown.

Sherlock Holmes (03:48) -

Well if you're on about supposed gay romances then why stop at ours.

Cause I know you go to Red Suit district paying up for "Miles p hour".

And your turning over cases? Your grandad’s turning over in his casket case!

So pack your case cause like if I smashed your flip phone Sherlock Holmes just cracked this case!

Who defended his position better? Sherlock Holmes Phoenix Wright