User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature 4: R.L. Stine vs H.P. Lovecraft

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature!

This marks the first collaboration in the series, and the much beloved Drakan95 is writing the parts of R.L Stine. It was a pleasure to have him on my series, as I'm sure I'm not the only one who's eagerly waiting for his return in september.

This battle pits two of the most iconic Horror authors in the world against each other to see whether Old School or New School is the scarier writer.

What else can I say?

Enjoy!

Beat: Blood Curdling

R.L. Stine
(starts at 0:18)

Dear Diary, I’m about to show Howard that challenging the better writer was a mistake.

Because just like his Cthulhu Mythos, his winning in this dark battle will be fake.

I’m about to bring your H.P. to zero, when this horror genius unleashes his flow.

So stick to writing letters to your sick mother, while I’ll chill with my fabulous TV show!

How about a photo? [http://goosebumps.wikia.com/wiki/Say_Cheese_and_Die! Say Cheese and Die!] I guess I left your sorry ass beat.

I’m gonna fill you with Fear, you can say it’s a massacre straight up from my Street.

Your Memory will only remember your defeat, while my stories make every child jump.

Because as you enter my Dead House, your body will be riddled with Goosebumps.

H.P. Lovecraft
(starts at 0:34)

The most merciful thing in the world is that I did not share the Earth with you.

Rank are your ghost stories of killer T.V. shows and haunted schools.

You only sell to kids because you are not capable of scaring an adult!

Keep writing about Spooky Scary Skeletons, but I am the Master of the Occult!

I penned horrific tales of true terror, all manner of Eldrich Abominations.

How can you stand against this kind of mind? Your chances of out-rapping me are forsaken.

When you see the shadow I cast on this genre, you will lose all hope of a victory.

What kind of God could let you become a success? To me, it's just a mystery.

R.L. Stine
(starts at 0:50)

Mystery? This comes from a guy who’s clearly nothing but a poor Stoker poser.

This is the owner of the Horrorland you’re facing and this whole trick for you it’s over.

Yet you claim you’re a scarier narrator, but the word ‘’Love’’ is in your surname.

I sold over 400 million copies! Tell me who’s the one with the better fame?

I’m the one Mostly Ghostly, and this poor fool met his gruesome doom.

You’ll find your near end as your dead body steps foot in my Nightmare Room.

You can wonder in your Nameless City, but you can also take a good look.

At me being the one who has more money and many fans adore my books.

H.P. Lovecraft
(starts at 1:06)

Damn your forgettable cookie-cutter books. I started a mythology!

The Great Old One is going to bury alive this M. R. James wannabe.

My twisted tales of insanity will make you run and cry to your Mummy.

You are as brainless as a Zombie. I shall call this the Night of the Living Dummy.

Enter the torturous inky depths of my lore, and you shall be driven to Madness!

You are not worthy of taking my Horror mantle. Go back to Ohio and practice.

Your rapping was worse than the child-acting in your Tales from the Crypt rehash!

You are a joke, Jovial Bob. I have burned you so severely, all that remains is ash!

WHO WON? R.L. Stinde H.P. Lovecraft