User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles 1: Star Fox vs Ratchet

(This is a rap battle I wrote and posted to facebook like one and a half years ago. I don't write them anymore, but there are 15 more of them and I'll be posting them one a week every Wednesday until they're all on here. I hope you guys enjoy. Who knows? Maybe I'll start writing them again.)

STAR FOX vs. RATCHET!

Ratchet: Alright, it’s butt kicking time! And I’m packing the heat!

I’m a Sergeant. You’re a pilot. Shut up and take the back seat.

I’ve got more guns than you have fans. On the ground, you’re not comparable.

You stepped out your plane once and that game was terrible!

Hey, I think you missed a ship. Turn and get him, if you can!

Just do a barrel roll. I’ll be firing mines like a man with a plan.

From Solana to Bogon, I smash skulls like a demon.

If we ever fought, I’d win, so just prey I don’t find a reason.

Fox: This is Lylat space now, bitch! You better be scared!

You should just Gold Bolt it now, ‘coz I’m unstoppable in the air.

Me and my whole team will cover you in more shit than a silo.

I’m a Super Nintendo classic, while you just stole the flame from Spyro.

Even in Super Smash Brothers, I bring total annihilation!

Sure, you were in Playstation Allstars, but that’s just a cheap imitation.

You’re not a soldier. You’re just a souped-up Banjo with Kazooie.

And your weak lines flop like Secret Agent Clank PSP.

Ratchet: My boy Clank has my back, lets my jump higher and further.

When has Slippy goddamn Toad been anything but a burden?

I’ve saved my galaxy six times, killing gladiators with a yawn.

I’d make short work of Andross, I mean, I managed to beat Vorcelon!

And I’m not impressed by your girl, because I’m a universal pimp.

I’ve got Angela, Sasha and Talwyn. Sorry, Krystal, they win.

I’ll rip ya a new one, McCloud. I can tell you’re gettin’ nervous.

I’ve thrown a wrench in your works, so you should go and get serviced.

Fox: You think that you’re so tough, when you come out fighting?

Let’s test that on Final Destination. No items.

Without your arsenal, you’re nothing. Just a shadow of me.

Your furry ass has spent far too long jackin’ my scene.

Stop dodging and strafing. Just man up and attack!

When I see you mining the sewers for bolts, I just say “Look, the plumber’s back!”

It’s been a good game, Ratchet, but I’m about to take you down.

I don’t care if you’re an Insomniac, Lombax. It’s lights out.

WHO WON? Star Fox Ratchet