User blog:Alanomaly/Alanomaly Rap Battles - Sam Beckett vs Desmond Miles

I'm surprised how quickly I managed to get this one done. 11 days? New fucking record my god. Not really but whatever.

We're headed a bit into obscure territory here. Nothing new for this series let's be honest. I don't know how well known Quantum Leap is, but I do know it's one of my favorite shows and I'm so glad I got around to doing a rap battle for it.

Quantum physicist and time traveller, Sam Beckett, alongside his holographic friend Al Calavicci, battle the descendent of the Assassins, Desmond Miles.

Connection: Sam and Desmond view/interact with the past while walking in the shoes of another person, Sam only leaps within his lifetime and rights what went wrong, Desmond travels to all over and must do exactly what his ancestors did to prevent desynchronization.

Lyrics
(NOTE: Sam's lyrics are in  blue, Al's lyrics are in purple , and Desmond's lyrics are in  red , Sam and Al rapping togehter is in regular text.)

Sam & Al
Samuel Beckett, quantum physicist and leaper, putting right what went wrong,

Saving lives, enforcing justice, helped Buddy Holly write a song,

Desmond Miles, a rogue, screws it up when he tries to change the past,

I must've lept into a camera man, cause your defeat's about to be broadcast!

You look like you're right out of Smallville with your wannabe cosplay,

Sam! Am I here to kick his ass, Al? What does Ziggy say?

There's a 45.5% chance that Desmond here will try to kill you,

And it's just gonna keep rising if this rap battle continues!

Then I'll have to cut this short like I had one of his tiny hidden blades,

No need to hide how much it hurts, I see right through timey wimey charades!

Desmond Miles
I've visited so far back memories, I've seen shit you would never know!

It doesn't take much to beat a retar- Oh, right, sorry, you're just slow!

You can try to burn me all you want, but my Sancutary's safer than Notre Dame,

I could end your whole mission with just a trip to New Mexico with some napalm!

Your IQ must've lowered when you leaped into Generator Rex's partner,

Cause no word or weapon you've got can pierce my Assassin armor!

You Swiss cheesed your theory when you banged your great grandmother,

I'll bury your corpse in a whole deeper than the one that has your brother!

Ignore him, Sam! And as for your best friend, no one even knows he exists!

Just walk away, Sam! Well, except for the ex-wives on his extensive list!

Sam & Al
Y'know what? Nevermind, I say to hell with Ziggy's predictions!

I think you're here to put and end to this flat protag with a killer addiction!

I had a second chance to save my father, even if it's time travel misuse,

Yours came back to save you, but you still act like you got daddy issues!

You ran away at sixteen, then you started drinking on the job,

Till Abstergo found you out and your freedom was robbed!

I've brought families back together, while you're busy chasing feathers,

I'm a bit of a medical doc: you seem to be under the Bad Weather!

That's it, Sam! You should be taking a Quantum Leap of Faith any minute!

Getting verbally assassinated happens when you step to Calavicci and Beckett!

Desmond Miles
My ancestors beat Oswald already, so I was destined to defeat you,

You selfishly choose to change certain pasts cause of how they mistreat you!

You oughta be desynchronized! You couldn't even complete your main quest!

Instead you've committed over nintety seven counts of identity theft!

You left your fanbase disappointed by the end of your finale's premiere,

Then again, your show was on a decline since you leaped into this admiral's rear!

Bigfoot, aliens, ghosts, vampires, what kind of science and history do you teach?

These people just try to live their lives, you're like a time travelling leech!

I'll shock you back like Shock Theater, but this time you won't be leapin',

Our Animus-ity will last forever, so take a bite from my Apple of Eden!



Poll
Who Won? Sam Beckett Desmond Miles

Hints Explained

 * The final news blog had a picture of the playwright Samuel Beckett, who shares a namesake with Sam from Quantum Leap.
 * King Arthur vs Aquaman had the cover to Historical Assassins vs Assassin's Creed, which relates to both sides of this battle: Desmond is from Assassin's Creed, and Sam lept into Lee Harvey Oswald. This is also referenced during the battle.