User blog:TheScottBird/Freddy Fazbear vs Trevor Phillips

Yep, it's Scott again. This connection is meant to be a bad connection, but I wanted to write this. So today, we have Freddy Fazbear from "Five Nights at Freddy's" against Trevor Phillips from "Grand Theft Auto V." Two game antagonists that never seem to go away. ;p

Cast
Taylor Cu - Freddy Fazbear (acting)

EpicLLOYD - Freddy Fazbear (voice)

Nice Peter - Trevor Phillips

Trevor Phillips
What the fuck is this shit? Is this me against a bear?

You look so fancy with that uniform and all that hair

But on the inside, I can tell you're a troubled addict

All Mangle-y and Golden, eggh, you're making me spastic

Sure, I turned on my best friend after he went AWOL and played dead

But at least I didn't turn on my own company, man!

I may be balding on my head, but I'm still strong in the heart

You're a posessed hobo from the Alrutists, come take a shot in the dark

There's no way you can beat me, you know what I've lived through?

You're a teddy bear owned by a child who's been bitten and misused

Your restaurant's the source of your life, and now I'm jerry canning the buildin'

I'm on file for grand theft auto, you're accused of raping children!

Freddy Fazbear
Hold on there, Mr. Phillips, while I put on my hat

There's no need for foul language in such a heartfelt rap

I can see what you're going through, and I can feel your pain

But you better run while you can before 6 A.M. today!

You think your game's superior? You can Bite me like the chaos of '87

Don't worry, Trevor, I've heard that all dogs go to heaven

You own an airport and a strip club? Ain't that nice?

I'll be taking your girlfriend Michael to both places with me tonight

You make fun of my posession? Then I end this session!

I'll rob your soul like you do to those seven-eleven's

I'm coming out with a sequel, while your time is done

But don't worry, I bet in the rehab center you'll have fun

Trevor Phillips
You rap as sloppy and sticky as the gum on my shoe

You're like the dumpster by the car garage, I take poos on you

Fuck your pizzeria, I prefer Chuck E.'s anyway

Go drink pisswater, I'll see you on the flipside, mate!

Freddy Fazbear
Ghosts can never die, so how does that make sense?

You're just hallucinating and now Golden Freddy's inside your head!

Back to that raping thing, you better calm down there, mister

It's not like I'm hanging out with Lester the Molester!

Franklin Clinton
Played by: Walter Downing

Aw shit, homie, you done fucked up good enough

Now you're baggin' on Lester? Just shut the fuck up!

You're a goddamn Halloween costume, what harm can you do?

I steal cars and gangbang for a living, that's why you should back away, fool!

Fozzie the Bear can't top our sales

Sure, you flooded the media, but your game's short and stale

You only have one chance: you either stay or say goodbye

Either way, like my game, I'm the only who makes it out alive!

Bonnie the Bunny
Played by: Taylor Cu (acting), EpicLLOYD (voice)

It's the badass of the game, and I'm only here for five nights

But don't worry, just seeing me for a second can keep you wide awake at night

You can't touch me, I'm too fast like a Bunny

Fred and I are stomping you in this battle, or my name isn't Bonnie

Screeching like a baby child, it'll scar you for the rest of your life

I'm the first one off of the stage and the last one to die

Michael De Santa
Played by: EpicLLOYD

Well, I'm just an average man with a very troubled past

But that doesn't mean I ain't got time to whup some fluffy ass

I'll just buy a hockey mask from Vespucci's, and it'll be Freddy vs Jason

How did that movie end again? Oh right, I sent you back to hell, Satan!

You're so clueless! All I need to do is cover myself with a mask

And you won't even know I'm human...

You know what? There's no need to continue! Just kiss my undead ass!

Chica the Chicken
Played by: Taylor Cu (actor), Jessi Smiles (voice)

I'm a boss-ass chicken, and I'm gonna make you three lay all your eggs

How can you roast me in a battle with my Kentucky Fried legs?

Chica the Chicken, the sexiest character ever

Even sexier than Molly, yeah, you heard me Trevor

I'm going ham on this battle, creeping in the west hall

You think your sticky bombs are harmful? My voice is lethal!

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Played by: Taylor Cu (actor), EpicLLOYD (voice)

Yo, raise up, it's Stay Puft, I stay fluff

Blaze chumps and flip Chica butterside-up

I smother animatronics in fluffernutter, I don't play

Show three fiends how to rock a Ferrari

I live so large, you can't harsh my mallow

Just one step took me and Franklin out the ghetto

You best be afraid of my marshmallow flows

'Cause Big Puft just turned all you bitches to toast!

Foxy the Pirate Fox
Played by: Taylor Cu (actor), George Watsky (voice)

Hahaha! I'm a mystical medical fox at the pinnacle shifting my physical form

You're some possibly pedophilic individuals who should've never been born

You got your knickers in a twist while you're sucking on my piccadilly 'cause I'm a lot-lot different

'Cause Trevor's a pitiful hillbilly hanging with a stupid black kid who's a bawk-bawk chicken!

Lester the Molester
Played by: EpicLLOYD

Nobody calls Franklin chicken!

Slenderman
Played by: Taylor Cu (actor, on stilts), Nice Peter (voice)

Why can't you all just shut up and fucking understand?

That I should be the one facing Freddy and his garage band

With my tuxedo and his bowtie and hat

I bet all of you criminals will look at us and fap

Tevor, you're a hobo with no life and no glory

Franklin is a newbie who chomps on watermelon and baloney

Michael is a grown man, but acts like a baby

And Stay Puft is a giant pile of sperm, and Freddy and his gang eat him daily

I've crushed all of you punks and this battle's finally done

TheScottBird got writer's block, so he made this battle junk

Happy late Halloween and a happy New Year

Collect my 8 pages and then Slender you will fear!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

Who won? Trevor Phillips Freddy Fazbear Franklin Clinton Bonnie the Bunny Michael De Santa Chica the Chicken Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Foxy the Pirate Fox Lester the Molester Slenderman Vote for me if you're gay