User blog:Zacisawesome101/Probably Mediocre Rap Battles - Ep. 1: Harry Potter vs Zelda

Introduction
Probably Mediocre Rap Battles!!!



Harry Potter

VS



Princess Zelda

Begin!

Beat
http://www.shadowville.com/121653/genres/dirty-south-beats/dopeboy-magic

Harry Potter
Starts at 0:13

Make way for the boy wizard, Harry Potter, that's me!

Battling a witch Barbie rescued by a boy in green?

Expelliarmus! I disarm you with bars that go beyond,

With more fire than the phoenix tail in my wand!

Zelda, you're ditzy, as anyone could see,

Even with a Triforce, relying on a boy who's 13?

At that age, I was hero, saving my friends from dementors,

But you can't find a way to magic yourself from your tormentors?

My raps are Deathly and Hallow, while yours are weak and shallow.

And I'm spitting evil too much for even your Light Arrows.

I could burn you with Incendio! Torture you with Crucio!

But I've already showed this Twilight Princess how this rap'll go.

Zelda
Starts art 0:53

I'm the princess of Hyrule, don't you talk down to me,

You call that rapping? I call that screaming like a banshee!

I'm graceful and poised, rarely getting down and dirty,

But I'm not afraid to throw down, the Triforce has named me worthy.

I've got more Wisdom than Granger, more power than Dumbledore,

And with that, I'll make you fear me, like that boggart in your bedroom drawer.

When your friends see me, it'll be a Link to the Past,

Of how I was able to kick the Chosen One's ass!

With these bars, I'll kill you like Voldy to Diggory,

I'll fill your life with more misery until you're like: "Stop this already!"

Step to Zelda, I'll slash and bash until you reunite with James and Lilly,

And I'll spit poison like the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrecy,

Then I'll admire my work from Hyrule, a castle of luxury.

Harry Potter
Starts at 1:20

That was a load of crap! Your raps were wearing the Diminish Cap!

None of your raps had any sort of Spirit on the Track.

I spit flames like the Hungarian Horntail I had to fight,

You rap as fast and as hard as your savior in green tights.

Zelda
Starts at 1:32

It's surprising to me, that in your group of three,

Ron and Hermione got together and you were there in solitary.

And I never realised how gay your books sound,

Everyone waves around their wands until stuff comes out!

Harry Potter
Starts at 1:40

You try to rhyme, but you're filled with Korok Seeds,

Your main character is ripped of Peter Pan with no originality.

The Breath of the Wild takes so long to complete,

That when you finish, Voldemort's already at his defeat.

You're bars are worse than your CD-i games,

And even Neville makes Ocarina of Time look lame.

Go home, Zelda, anyone will tell you your outmatched.

This win was like golf balls: easy to catch!

And apparently like your kingdom: easy to snatch!

You can 'tri' all you want, you'll never match my force,

And you'll never be able to get back on your high horse!

Zelda
Starts at 2:00

I'm a Divine Beast, you're a kid doing parlour tricks!

Your not fighting with Voldy, you're playing with sticks!

Good luck impressing more girls, Reducio Dick!

You can't step to the princess of Hyrule,

And, I'm sorry, no-one wants to read about a boy in school.

I'm abusing you worse than the Dursleys.

You're as ugly as a troll, while I am the bee's knees.

I'm going to leave, before you make me sick,

Now bend down and suck Link's broomstick!

Outro
Begins at 2:17



WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

PROBABLY MEDIOCRE RAP BATTLES!