Talk:Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris/@comment-216.40.74.130-20130530222417

Abraham Lincoln:

Four score and 65 years in the past

I won the Civil War with my beard. Now I’m here to whup your ass

I’ve read up on your facts. You cure cancer with your tears?

Well, tell me Chuck how come you never sat down and cried on your career?

You’re a washed up has been on TV selling Total Gyms

And you’re gonna lose this battle like you lost Return of the Dragon

I’ll rip your chest hairs out, put em’ in my mouth

I’ll squash you like I squashed the South

I never told a lie and I won’t start now

You’re a horse with a limp. I’ll put you down

Chuck Norris:

This isn’t Gettysburg, punk. I’d suggest retreating

For I invented rap music when my heart started beating

Chuck Norris doesn’t battle. He just allow you to lose

My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth

Abraham Lincoln:

I’ve got my face on the side of a mountain. You voted for John McCain

I’ve got a bucket full of my head and I’m about to make it rain

You block bullets with your beard? I catch em’ with my skull

I’d make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger, but I’ve never even seen that show

Chuck Norris:

I am Chuck Fucking Norris!

I’ve spread more blood and gore than 40 score of your puny Civil Wars, bitch

I split the Union with a roundhouse kick

I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick

I attack sharks when I smell them bleed

I don't go swimming. Water just wants to be around me

My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster

You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone’s master

all pure awesomeness