User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Vincent Price vs MrCreepyPasta. Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5 Premier

''eyyyyyyy S5. lets gooooooo~''

Hello everyone and welcome to Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 5. This battle was suggested by a LOT of people. OFF the top of my head comes from Legion, Gordon, and others that I'm too lazy to look up right now, so sorry if you wanted to be on the endslate lol. Today's battle, a la the premier, features two horror narrators from complete opposite sides of the spectrum; Late 1980's reenowned horror lord Vincent Price raps against creepy YouTube character MrCreepyPasta to see who's the superior horror lore narra-tore galore. Idk where I was going with that. I took a different approach with this battle that I hope worked, Idk. It's got the average substance of the 1v1 but with a lot more to it, so let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy, thanks for reading and sticking with this shit for so long. I feel like this block of text should be much longer than it actually is but I'm totally out of things to say other then that an off-season will happen sometime soon and remasters don't have a schedule. ye. toodles.

I've given up linking things so if you want a lyric explained, just let me know.

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR!



VS!



BEGIN!

Vincent Price:
There’s a rapping at my chamber door; Imagine a tactless YouTuber who wants to Monster Mash with

The inventor of the term he’s not worth a fraction of. Looks like it’s Lights, Camera, Action!

A victory against me is simply unachieveable. Your mannequin shenanigans are simply unreadable.

I’m a cinema legend - My heights are unreachable. My voice alone makes the unbelievable believable,

I’m busting this fearful kid with illustrious lyrics, it’s no Russian Experiment, but I’m already Sleeping.

Your Chuck E. Cheese-y stories are kid-based gore; Keep your deplorable Lore Hidden and ignored like the Grieving

Your Time is Up: I’ll scrutinize a useless mind. Tear through this guy to deduce a crime

Like I’m a Great Mouse Detective: Step to the ghoulish Price, and it’s your Suicide

MrCreepyPasta:
Our story begins with a diss; Mr. Mixing a bitch into bits like the .GIF, this fanboy’s bound to get Edgar Allan Poe’wnd

So call the guy who’s most qualified to topple this fossil and leave him compromised - don’t try this at home.

I’m an Ominous Unknown Beat Killer at Large, while this incompetent no-bone weak Thriller lacks bars,

So there’s no doubts I could make this mouse cry, you’re a boy-scout who I’ll stomp out like a house Fly

My malevolent ill-intent deathly breath bests this teddy pet as he got badly bent and bit when he tried to vent his shit,

I AM GOD of scare-inducing narratives and despite your initials, you couldn’t even hope to be the Vice President

This dungeon-dwelling no-fun repugnant dysfunctional husband better not try to rap or play dumb

Else you’ll get lit up and smoked like a cigarette ‘till you collapse like your left lung

Vincent Price:
You botched this game the minute this monster came, and he’ll be feeling lots of shame

To watch his silly YouTube play button try to match with my Star on the Walk of Fame

Think you can tell a more convincing story than THE horror lord? Alright, let’s dance,

Beg for mercy and the dissing might have ceased - but with full artillery? Not a chance!

MrCreepyPasta:
My very names utterance summons horrors by the dozens; Your data’s expunged when I string you up like a puppet

Because your cinematography is mostly comedy; the biggest horrors of yours are Scooby-Doo and the Muppets

You’re forgotten to generations while I’m sensational, and if I’ve timed right,

I’m this fights highlight because you’ll expire quicker then your limelight - less than Five Nights

Vincent Price:
I’ll ignore that diss like any of your videos that aren’t about Jeff the Killer,

And so we meet our protagonist; A poor figure who doesn’t know he’s about to become dinner

( Vincent scribbles the first line on paper and creates a player character for them to control.)



MrCreepyPasta:
Yes, and a boring one at that. Try to keep our viewer awake, at least,

And so our hero comes upon two doors, each revealing a path to a putrid beast

( MrCreepyPasta snatches the book away and writes down an addition of his own, creating two doors and a hallway.)



Vincent Price:
As a creepypasta writer, it’s to be assumed you know nothing about suspense or trouble,

But regardless, our hero chooses to face with your pest, or rumble with Seth Brundle

( Vincent creates his monster, revealing the deformed scientist known as The Fly .)



MrCreepyPasta:
I’m sure to the average reader, the only thing scarier than a common bug is your pencil mustache,

Nonetheless, our second route leads to a monster in a mask; Eyeless Jack

( MrCreepyPasta writes in his own creation as well, creating the popular creepypasta monster Eyeless Jack .)



Vincent Price:
I can see how that's scary, if you’re referring to whatever idiot made his design

I give us a tragic maniac creature hybrid, and you gave us a chupacabra who’s blind

MrCreepyPasta:
While you can’t hold up your accusation, it is now my obligation, so

Let’s see if your mindless bombed creation lasts against my eyeless abomination

The Fly:
Boo! The flyest violent scientist has arrived to make your head spin!

A doctor with flows ill enough to end kids and take the Ed-win!

So this nitwit dipshit little kid can take his cliche knife and stick it

up his own hyperrealistic shrimpdick, even this mystic's vomit is more acidic than his spit!

Dropping science to compensate for the lack of medical knowledge your author displays

Because against Seth, YOU’RE the pest. Be Afraid! Be VERY Afraid!

The good news is, I’d end your pathetic life if you try to harm me,

The bad news is, that’s already happened through sacrifice. Sorry.

Eyeless Jack:
This Cyan piece of horror Writing is on track to leave Brundle feeling Blue

You gotta be Kidney me! I hope your organs aren’t as weak as you!

I’ll rip this bitch to bits and wreck his life like his first name was Mitch

As my mix carries enough wit to rip your jaw off if you give me lip!

Your biggest powers an omnipotent penis. You’re a freak; Even I could see this!

One who wouldn’t let his wife get an abortion; Prolly ‘cause he looks like a fetus!

I hack through spineless raps, watch as I find your wife and Eyeless Jack her

So step back inside your teleporter and merge yourself with a better rapper!

( The Fly takes the mic back and prepares to rap back, but is interrupted as a third, unexpected rapper jumps in.)

The Batter:
You’ll get struck out and put in the dugout by the time the first ball is thrown,

You’ve found the Judge. Stepping up to the plate, and I get in my Zone

I’m on an important mission; Dissing these two until I reclaim the silence

You’ll get splattered into tatters when the Big Bad Batter shines like a Diamond

The plan is simple: Remove Eyeless Jack from the world like I’m his author,

( Eyeless Jack becomes angry and leaps at the Batter, who, not moving his head, reaches out his arm and catches the monster by the throat and strangles him.)

Phase 2: Repurpose a baseball bat to act as a giant Fly swatter

(He then turns to and faces the Fly, who steps up to face him. The Batter whips out his baseball bat and crushes Seth's head easily.)

I’ve combated with your pathetic raps and I don’t need a tutorial or guide

And with your abscence, comes the quiet. The battle has been purified

( Vincent looks down at the story book they were writing in, to see scribbles describing the destruction of their two monsters. He angry turns to MrCreepyPasta, though he's as confused as he is.)

Vincent Price:
What? Is this your idea of a plot twist? What kind of crap is this?

You can’t have a horror story where the victim’s scarier than the antagonist!

MrCreepyPasta:
Of course it’s not surprising that you’d say this uprising is my devising

But this isn’t even my handwriting, and- Oh, will you two stop fighting?

The Batter:
Enoch Knock. You’ve pissed me OFF. When I go hard, Hell will find

two new recruits in the knock-off Karloff and the dark blue R.L. Stine

I’ve checked the stats of your raps; Both weak offense and defense against burns

So this predator’s gonna raise the temperature and render you both to Spectres

I’ll make myself at Home atop your bones; No Zone is safe from your dilemma,

As I am the Holy Trinity; Beginning and End. Both Alpha, and Omega

With raps sweeter than Sugar, this slugger’s gonna butcher these lesser fakes,

‘Till they’re all nice and cute to be displayed on a plate like Pepper Steak

Vincent Price:
This angry snapback-donning lab rat seems to have forgotten his own place,

Struck out against the Queen; What good’s a Batter who can’t make it past First Base?

You’re an obscure, tipsy, indie gypsy. A discount Madotsuki or Frisk, see,

So my words will bring the hurt and blow you to pieces like an RPG!

MrCreepyPasta:
Give me a play-by-play; Try to play the Player? You’re a slight disturbance at best

Your lack of emotions give your raps less commotion and your mental Blocks Access

You’re an inadequate masochist whose game will never amount to shit

Because I brought you into this world; I can just as easily take you out of it

The Batter:
Your retaliations are thinner than paper; You think you’re some kind of scare shaper?

Well today, the creations gonna make the creators meet their makers!

I’m writing your stories like you’ve done before me; Never will there be use in defending,

There is nothing but the void after me. Achievement Unlocked: Bad Ending

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BAT-

(A baseball bat comes in from off-screen and smashes the logo into the distance.)

. . . B a t t l e s o f H o r r o r.

Ending
The two men stared upon their terrifying opponent with mouths agape, as the creature who was once the hero of their story began losing control of his own mind. The two scrambled for the novel they had conceived him through, as Vincent pulled out a cigarette lighter and attempted to burn the entire book. The paper pages quickly caught fire, and the very room behind their antagonist began to crumble, as the brutalized bodies of the Fly and Eyeless Jack began to warp out of existence.

The Batter took up his bat and smashed a gaping hole in the glass separating him from the two fearful narrators, shattering the fourth wall into tiny shards. As he began to climb through the hole he had created, his arms and legs twisted and turned, erupting into gigantic claws and dinosaur-like feet. His very head and neck grew larger and larger, taking on the shape of a strange crocodile-like monster. He roared triumphantly as MrCreepyPasta and Vincent Price took off.

Outro


Who Won? Vincent Price MrCreepyPasta

Who Won? Pt. 2 The Fly Eyeless Jack The Batter

Who Won? Pt. 3 The Batter Vincent Price & MrCreepyPasta

STORY INSPIRATION:



OFF=

Probably the easiest one with the inclusion of the Batter, a major portion of this story was based off of OFF in general. In OFF, the player and the Batter are two separate entities. Because of this, if you go down a route the Batter does not like, he will rebel against you, and the final fight is vs him in the “Bad Batter” form, hence the ending of this story. The idea is also slightly credited to the Undertale No Mercy Route



The Stanley Parable=

Easily the biggest inspiration, basically just the story of a character created to be controlled going against those who made him. Also, the two doors choice, though that was mostly just to drive the plot further.



A typical creepypasta=

The main “heroes” going crazy is basically the defining trope of all cartoon or video game creepypastas, and is easily applicable to MrCreepyPasta.

HINT DEDUCTION:

READS OUT LIKE A STORY: Basically, story battle, and also the two characters are known for reading stories, lol.

EXPENSIVE ITALIAN CUISINE: “Price” and “Pasta”

Judge free zone my dude: The Judge is a main character in OFF that goes against the Batter if you choose a certain path. Zones are the names of the individual areas that the Batter cleanses. If the Batter chooses to fight the Judge and kills him, it would be a “Judge free zone.” lol

HINT TO THE NEXT BATTLE: