User blog:Hippie Rat/Lee Harvey Oswald vs Gavrilo Princip

Hey yo hi hello

Eh I'm just gonna say this ain't the best. Some of the lyrics are a bit cheesy and it feels kinda one-sided, that coming from a guy who doesn't believe in biasing rap battles. Looking at the history in my notes, it turns out I last edited the lyrics on June 1st. That's like three months ago. But hey, maybe it's really good in some of your guys' eyes. We'll see.

First time in a while I got the who's next poll going. I'd have to say that some of my upcoming battles are going to be a lot more humorous than before. Lots of stellar jokes. You'll love it. Like, you know the positive reception of the Joker vs Comedian parts of Joker vs Comedian? Expect more stuff like that.

But today we got Gavrilo Princip, Slavic revolutionist famous for the assassination of Archiduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife, initiating World War I and laying the bedrock of most international conflict to exist in the years to come. Princip will be battling Lee Harvey Oswald, infamous assassin of American president John F. Kennedy in response of the Bay of Pigs incident, to see which of the two were the most influential assassins.

I give 100% permission to the use of my lyrics in any audio and/or visual production, as long as credit is given where credit is due. A beat can be requested if so necessary. It would also be appreciated that, if any lyrics are used, a link to the production be sent to me. Any questions and/or links can most easily be sent in my most recent blog. Thank you very much.

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Lee Harvey Oswald vs Gavrilo Princip ! Begin!

Lee Harvey Oswald:

First shot, through the back, watch you choking on your blood n',

Next shot, blindly firing, off the curb, and hittin' civilians,

Third shot, dead-on, 360 quickscope,

Watch the kill cam, ready..and...pop! goes Gavrilo.

Read up on that fateful day in Sarajevo, must give a hearty "good job,"

To the first guy to hit the right car in his firing squad.

But with that pistol to your head, you meant to be dead,

Before they could arrest the men who led,

Europe to a wasteland with the land painted red,

Too bad it jammed before you could eat that lead.

This american sniper dashed his skill as a marine,

While Gavrilo was too slow and wasted away in Terezín.

Gavrilo Princip:

I'm a Princip-al member of the Black Hand,

And I'm spitting straight bullets at you like your name was Ferdinand.

I was the face of a revolution for Slavic liberation,

Your impression was frightening for a mere librarian.

So let's fact-check just how dope Gavrilo's flows is,

The whole world's bitching 'cause of the triggering by Princip.

Every great war of the twentieth century can be tracked back to what I did,

All the way to your pissiness over the Bay of Pigs.

Led the end of empire and cutthroat standoff,

Still held strong in prison when I rotted my Black Hand off.

Hacking Jack, man, you a wannabe Booth, but humdrum,

You shot off his head, now let's see if Marilyn will still give him some.

Lee Harvey Oswald:

Make a mockery of that? His wife saw his brain splat,

You don't get better mash like that if you whacked a watermelon with a baseball bat!

Man, I spit fast 'cause I love to be Russian it,

I broke the laws of U.S. and physics, Princip bitch!

Gavrilo Princip:

Woah, woah, I thought you left it in your diary:

You left the Soviet cause capital-borns can't impress pretty girls in the factory!

You patsy, you fall-man, you incompetent walrus,

My homeboy Russia wants nothing to do with this fake communist.

Go on and slit your wrist but Intourist ain't cleaning up that red pool,

You got a bad rap with Jacks, ask any red jewel.

My raps leave you dizzy and confused, not knowing where to go,

You're lost like the sniper on the grassy knoll.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Trivia

 * I never wanted to use Lee Harvey Oswald, honestly. He was always this character that seemed cliché and too insignificant. Like a bad creepypasta character. People are just interested in him because he killed one of our presidents but that's really all anyone cares about and that's not what I like to do my battles on. If I do a battle I like to go to the roots of someone to build a strong base for the entirety of the rap. I always either want to make something people will find humorous or educational, or at least make something for me to enjoy if not everyone. So in the end, despite not wanting to use Oswald, I ended up doing this battle with the main intent of educating why Oswald shot Kennedy, and the full extent of the assassination of Ferdinand.
 * As a way of sort of mocking Oswald due to my wills to not use him, I made the first part of his first verse in the style of an fps shoutcast, in which people would yell commentary of an fps game usually loudly, describing the successes of the player.

Polls
Who won? Lee Harvey Oswald Gavrilo Princip

Who's next? Spider-Man vs Hugh Hefner Colonel Sanders vs General Tso