User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS Season 3 Premiere: Area 51 vs Shangri-La

Holy fuck I'm back

Finally

Yes

Several months and I have returned, working meticulously on two battles. This is not one of the two battles. But I hope to fuck y'all enjoy it, I missed this series <3

Today we have the mysterious government base in the United States that is sealed off to the public, the sighting of aliens kicking off numerous conspiracy theories, versus the legendary land of the Himalayas, where monks live forever in the heavenly glory of relaxation. And yes, these rappers are not people. They are locations. Things. Yes. Pls enjoy. Thanks to Joe and Bran for proof-reading <3



Beat
Starts at 0:24

Area 51:
 Hold back. This area has been contained, mind the barrier,

 You are now private property of the United States of America

 I’m not scared of ya, nor baffled by your geographical fallacy,

 Come at me! At least you’d know where to actually find me!

 You’re a sham Shambhala! I’m a no fly zone!

 I’ll unload lasers on your grazers then scope the drone home!

 Shangri-spa’s nothing special, I’m just testing out a fighter

 Who I’m about to abuse harder than my people do the black highlighter!

Shangri-La:
 Whoa dude, chill, it’s the Himalayas, Yet-I keep it groovy,

 I make life fun, you make every cliché in the movies

 Weather balloons, men in suits, got the public thinking they’re loony,

 Truth is there’s probably nothing, but keep that camera off my booty!

 I’m relaxing…passing days with slow but steady flow,

 You’re a cockroach, always finding a way through legal holes

 I’m snowed in, Snowden, y’all can go whistleblow my bells,

 You interfere more than help, all’s well ends in Roswell

Area 51:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> That’s a classified case, civilian, I suggest you move along,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Before you become the next Doughnut that I test my dope flows on!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Don’t cross my lines, or you’ll end up blasted back to the bargain bin,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You owe me the win; my government made the LSD your hippies get to you with!

Shangri-La:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> So like….

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> If I move along, does that I mean I serve you, since I’m following the order?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> It’s kinda odd how you’re more secure than your country’s southern border

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I thought you dealt with aliens too, but I guess those days are finished

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> So you move along…what’s that word…yeah…you’ve just been decommissioned


 * Area 51 loads up his rockets, about to retort with physical force, when behind him, a golden city emerges from the lake*

Starts at 0:13

El Dorado:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> It’s not over yet.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Sacred ancient desecration’s here to drop the military base

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Dulled by your raps the Gilded One has emerged from its golden lake

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Places of myth have come to battle yet this legend was to be omitted?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Fuck the snow fort, I’m the treasured hunt, Area 51 just UFOshitted

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Speaking of the saucer chasing pussy, I got an extra from your terrestrials

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Keep the secrets and ruining the History Channel at its minimal

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You’re passing swamp gas as excuses; just tell the people the truth!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> That their tax cash is distributed to making innocent Arabs go boom!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Shangri-La’s a mangled fop, news flash; communism is a flop

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> No pay and leadership? Your monks are the only thing you’ve dropped!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> In my city everything is made of gold, from the walls to the tiles

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Even the toilets are lustrous; both of you can go piss off in style!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I’m the lotto of the grottos, silencing the incommunicado,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Two fools that need to get out of here? You’re on the Road to El Dorado!


 * The tree branches sprouting out of El Dorado part, revealing a dusty, cracked stone foundation decorated with lush gardens and flowing crystal water*

Starts at 0:24

Hanging Gardens of Babylon:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You don’t belong here either, that’s the purpose of my creation

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You led to the slaughter of your people, I’m the symbol of a nation

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Check my mechanics! My flows are placed at the very TOP!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Any service Area 51 provides is just another scary plot

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> OF LAND, I’m in command of every conversation there could be,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> About the mysteries of history from BC; battling the diseases overseas

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You’re pains in my Nebuchadnezzar, leaving the peasants all drained

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Aside from helping him get laid, I was made to throw shade!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You gave mankind headaches, I gave them a mechanical experience

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> My strong palms clutch bombs to be dropped; I may be Syrian

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I Tower above all of you! You fuckers just Babel!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> If you want a good mystery, just watch this Castle!


 * behind them, clouds swirl, faster and faster, lightning crackling underneath as suddenly, roaring waves appear, the ship from the News blog being sunk in the corner*

Starts at 0:10

Bermuda Triangle:
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> T! Is for Terror! R! Is for Rocking!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I! got the angles that’ll end ya if you cross me!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> There be no docking, if ya fuck wit me, ya reading this?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> To git victory ya needs direction, and ya all lost it!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> The Bermuda’s fluid, flowing hard, leave compassholes damaged

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> My body is superior to the lake, I be the first to fuck with the Spanish

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Drop bars like anchor, ya lack flavor, rap fast and some monks be famished,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Salty! Breezing past unnatural hard-asses sinking because of their granite

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> The Devil be; nettlin’ freaks with speech that like my sea go deep!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Freeze! All ya fucks would be obsolete if peeps forgot how tah read!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> No maps for Shang, gave up this rap for shame to pray mantis!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Now swallow the truth like I did tah Atlantis


 * the Bermuda Triangle violently shakes as an imposing white marble city bursts through its center*

Starts at 0:42

<span style="font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;color:rgb(232,232,232);">Atlantis:

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> It’s the most heavenly being, of the Seven Seas, addressing

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> These five little things as puny as the minds they sprung from

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> But where did I come from? Well my people made the maps

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> On which you think you’re the shit; but I came out of Plato’s ass!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Dyss this Utopia? I’ve waged war against the foolish hubris,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Without me, this battle would’ve been incomplete like Critias!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> The Gardens is a fetus compared to the agriculture I tamed,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> The architecture I display, and the oligarchy I embraced!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> I break through the holy flows, bear the Antediluvian name!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> And delude your fame 51, if it wasn’t for my race,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> You’d lose funding faster than you lost the IRS’s findins’

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Built to Poseidon! The rest of you, go sit on his trident!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Ripping through the Bermuda, you can’t keep on the current!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%;tab-stops:135.0pt"> Now brace yourselves, because the legend has resurfaced!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE

MYTHICAL RAP BATTLES


 * the logo shudders and crumbles*

of historyyyyyyyy



Poll
Who Won? Area 51 Shangri-La El Dorado The Hanging Gardens of Babylon The Bermuda Triangle Atlantis