User blog:Laboratory Tuxedo/ERB WIKI DEATHMATCH 3.5

LAKUITA

VS

LEGO

(Setting: Shadow Temple)

(Lakuita is adventuring and shit)

Lakuita: Where is that $20? I want it...the map led me here...

(Meanwhile, Lego is looking for the $20 too)

Lego: Where the hell is that $20?

(Lego and Lakuita walk into the same hallway and bump into each other)

Lego and Lakuita: Agh!

Lakuita: You moron, watch where you're going!

Lego: Shut up, I'm trying to find that $20!

Lakuita: No, I'm going to get that $20!

Lego: No, I am!

(Lego rams into Lakuita)

Lakuita: AH!

(Lakuita jumps up and smashes Lego with the Hylian Shield)

Lego: OW! SHIT!

(Lakuita brings out the Master Sword)

Lakuita: Alright, let's dance.

(Lego brings out a golden katana)

Lego: I'm going to kick your ass!

(Both charge at each other)

Lego: AHHHH!

Lakuita: AHHHH!

(They clash swords and try to overpower each other)

Lakuita: Stop fighting and give up!

Lego: NEVER!

(Lego knocks Lakuita back with a quick kick to the stomach)

Lakuita: Oh! God!

(Lego brings out a giant yellow lego brick and throws on top of Lakuita)

Lego: That was a eas-

(Lakuita picks up the brick with the golden gautlets)

Lakuita: You forgot, I requested Lab to give me Zelda weapons!

(Lakuita tosses the brick at a wall, causing it to break)

Lego: Oh, crap...

(Lakuita equips the Pegasus Boots and the Megaton Hammer)

Lego: SHIT!

(Lakuita dashes towards Lego and beats him with the Megaton Hammer using several quick attacks)

Lego: OW, OW, OW, OW, AGHH!

(Lego smacks him with a iron club)

Lakuita: Agh!

(Lego builds a lego go kart, equiped with missiles, geo-thermal tracking systems, duel machine guns, smoke screens, oil slicks, rear mounted flame throwers and a mini fridge)

Lego: LET'S GET IT ON!

Lakuita: ...oh, fuck.

(Lego fires a missile at Lakuita, only for him to dodge it)

Lego: Damnit!

(Lego shoots the machine guns at Lakuita)

Lakuita: WOAH!

(Lakuita runs around the temple into a small room with a chest)

Lakuita: The $20!

(Lego drives in the room and drives into Lakuita, causing him to fly into a wall)

Lakuita: ow....my face.

(Lakuita rolls a bomb at Lego's go kart)

Lego: What was that?

(The bomb explodes, destroying the go kart)

Lego: NOOO, MY SMOOTHIE! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!

(Lego pulls out a lego laser gun)

Lego: DIE!

(Lakuita pulls out a bow and some silver arrows)

Lakuita: No, YOU!

(They both fire at each other, missing each other)

Lakuita: This is getting nowhere...

(Lakuita pulls out the Fierce Deity Mask)

Lakuita: WAHHHHHHH!

(Lakuita is now in his Fierce Deity form)

Lego: Fuck!

(Lego builds a giant lego mech)

Lego: alright....BEGIN!

(Lego shoots a missile at Lakuita, only for him to catch it and turn it around)

Lego: Woah!

(Lakuita jumps on the mech)

Lakuita: HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS?

(Lakuita slashes repeatedly at the mech, damaging it heavily)

Lego: AGH, Self-Destruct!

(Lego presses a big red button which ejects Lego from the mech, causing Lakuita to hit the ceiling)

Lakuita: OW!

(Lego lands, safely, on the floor while Lakuita falls in the mech)

Mech: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....

(KA-FUCKIN-BOOM)

Lego: Yes, I W-

Lakuita: WOYYY-AH!

(Lakuita flies out, unharmed and grabs Lego with the hookshot)

Lego: WOAH!

(Lakuita swings Lego around, ramming him into the walls, ceiling, floor and into a grave)

Lakuita: HAVING FUN YET?

(Lakuita drops Lego at the grave)

Lego: I'm still alive, dou-

(Re-deads pop out of the ground)

Lego: AGHHH!

(The Re-deads grab Lego and eat him)

Lego: AGHHHH, NOT MY ARMS....AHHHHHHhhhhglarglarrrrr.....

(Lakuita grabs the $20 and runs out of the temple)

LAKUITA WINS!

TBONE

VS

DRAGON

(Setting: Giant domino palace)

Tbone: HA, dominos are fun as fuck!

(Tbone is setting up a domino statue of him)

???: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!

(Dragon falls through the ceiling and falls on the statue, destroying it)

Dragon: Ow!

Tbone: You imbecile! You destroyed my creation!

Dragon: Well, sorry! Dick...

Tbone: That's it!

(Tbone kicks Dragon in the face)

Dragon: OW!

(Dragon breathes fire on Tbone's chest, burning it)

Tbone: OW! EH!

(Tbone smacks Dragon with a bone club)

Dragon: AGH!

Tbone: Pussy!

(Tbone kicks Dragon's balls, causing him to fly across the room to the set of giant dominoes)

Dragon: AHH!

(Tbone leaps to the other end of the giant dominoes)

Tbone: DIE!

(Tbone pushes the first domino, causing the other dominoes to fall)

Dragon: By the blood of dragons...

(The last domino falls on Dragon)

Tbone: I WIN!

(The domino is lifted up by Dragon and pushed, the push causes the other dominoes to go up and fall back)

Tbone: Oh no!

(The first domino falls back on Tbone, crushing him)

DRAGON WINS!

RECAP:

SHOOP VS MSV

WINNER IS SHOOP

LAKUITA VS LEGO

WINNER IS LAKUITA

TBONE aka FUCKFACE VS DRAGON

DRAGON IS WINNER

NEXT TIME

LASSE VS STOFF

COUPE VS BTTF

PATTS VS WACHOW