User blog:NightFalcon9004/Confucius vs Yoda. Epic Fanmade Battles of History 12.

Ancient Chinese philosopher, Confucius, and the Jedi master from Star Wars, Yoda, rap against each other to see who is the wiser old man.

Asian YouTuber like Nigahiga or Freddiew as Confucius

EpicLLOYD as Yoda

Nice Peter as Luke Skywalker (cameo)

Beat (Confucius starts on 0:24)

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

CONFUCIUS!

VS

YODA!!!

BEGIN!

Confucius:

A wrinkled elf like yourself belongs in the senior munchkin show

He who battles in the river valley has the best flow

I'll have disrespect for this elder. However, you have no rites

You may have lived to 900, but then you just fucking Je-died!

This ugly green toad who croaked

Should return to his swamp before he gets senile, and I quote

With these ancient arts, you shouldn't mess with the Chinese. I'll win with ease

You're just a forgotten loner of an unknown species!

Yoda:

Hmm? Think you have a chance against me, do you?

Destroyed before you attempt, you shall be, like the Death Star II

No need to try, there is, for there is nothing you've got

No need to face me, strong enough, you are not

The wisest, I am. Your family dies and you live in fear

Such Force, I have, to toss a noodle like you outta here

Fall harder than the Empire, you shall, for being so rash

As your weak layers are as thin as your own mustache

Confucius:

I can exile your Muppet ass back to Dagobah, son!

Surprising that this little booger was picked to train the Chosen One

Your old mind cannot handle Confucius confusing ya, Yoda

I am a Kung-Fu-tzu master whose skills bend like yoga

What, you think you're great in a fancy glow-stick fight?

I've half a mind to crush your rep down to your own half height!

Yoda:

Size matters not, but a defeat from this Grand Master will be so enormous

Talk about it for centuries, they will, from Hong Kong to Jiayuguan fortress

Elderly, I may be, but cliche things you say are expired

Like a dragon, I roar, for I spew burns with fire

The Golden Rule, I do unto you as I do to all fools

As the mentor, the pupil, you are, just got schooled

Announcer:

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

E-E-E-EPIC! E-E-E-EPIC! E-E-E-EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

Who won? Confucius Yoda