User blog:Christianthepupbot/Dracula vs The Joker



EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

COUNT DRACULA 

VS 

THE JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

BEGIN

Dracula
'WELCOME, CLOWN. WELCOME TO TRANSYLVANIA '

WHERE YOU'LL BE INTRODUCED TO THE FANGS OF DRACULA 

YOUR THE CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME WELL I'M THE KING OF DARKNESS

THE GRANDFATHER OF ALL HORROR, THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN TOUCH THIS

YOU CALL YOURSELF A VILLAIN, WELL I CALL THAT FRAUD

YOU'LL GET CUT HARD IN THIS BATTLE, YOU COULD IT CALL IT SUICIDE SQUAD 

NIGHT TO NIGHT YOU GET BEATEN BY A BAT WITH ZERO POWER

IF THAT IS SO TRUE, CONSIDER THIS YOUR FINAL HOUR 

I HAVE FANGS AND BLACK MAGIC, YOU HAVE A KNIFE AND BAD JOKES

YOU'LL GET KILLED FASTER THAN I CAN WAVE MY CLOKE

SO TAKE THAT HAT OFF AND YOUR COAT, YOUR MY GUEST, DON'T YOU KNOW

NOW I SHALL DRINK YOUR BLOOD AND SHOW YOU A REAL KILLING JOKE

Joker
YOU CALL THAT A RAP, DRAC, I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK

FROM THAT FACT THAT YOU'RE A GOTH'S WET DREAM, YOU HEAR THAT?

THAT'S THE SOUND OF YOU NOT BEING CARED ABOUT ANYMORE

AFTER YOUR NAME WAS RUINED BY ADAM FUCKING SANDLER 

I'M BEING ANALZIED BY PHYCOLOGiSTS IN REAL LIFE

SO DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I CAN DO WITH THIS KNIFE

YOU HAVE SO MANY WEAKNESSES I CAN'T EVEN COUNT?

''IT TAKES ONE PIECE OF GARLIC BREAD TO KNOCK YOU THE FUCK OUT? ''

YOU'RE A THING OF THE PAST, ZOMBIES ARE THE NEW HOLLYWOOD THING

I HAVE IT ALL, MONEY, FANS, A GIRLFRIEND, I'M THE VILLAIN KING

THE ONLY FANS YOU HAVE ARE LITTLE KIDS WHO DRESS UP IN YOUR STUPID OUTFIT

''SO START SMILING. NOW STOP. I NEVER WANNA SEE THOSE TEETH AGAIN ''

Dracula
'YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND? I HAD LOADS OF BRIDES '

THE ONLY ASSISTANTS YOU HAVE CONSIST OF CLOWNS AND MIMES

I WAS ENSLAVING PEOPLE BEFORE YOUR WRITERS WERE EVEN BORN

TRYING TO FIGHT BACK AT THIS POINT WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY ABSURD

SO MR. HAMMILL, YOU HAVE ANY OTHER ONE LINERS TO GIVE

YOU'VE BECOME DULL THANKS TO LETO YET YOU CALL ME FORGOTTEN

I'D EAT YOU, BUT YOUR FLESH HAS BECOME ABSOLUITlY TASTELESS 

AFTER YOU FINISH THAT WINE, YOU CAN SUCK MY UNDEAD DICK 

Joker
I DON'T GET IT, COUNT. WHY DO YOU WANT TO SUCK ME OFF

HERE'S AN UNTOLD STORY, YOU ALLERGIC TO THE CROSS

I'D LAUGH AT IT AND SHOOT THE PREAST WHO TRIED IT

BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR WEAKNESSES

SO YOU THINK YOU'RE SCARY, A REALLY REAL TOUGHY

I'LL SHOVE MY BLADE UP YOUR ASS, YOU CAN CALL ME BUFFY

I LIVE IN REAL LIFE AS INSIDE PEOPLE'S MIND

SO WELCOME TO MY WORLD, IT'S A LOT BRIGHTER, YOU'LL FIND

(Joker's eyes turn red as he stands in place, and Dracula comes close to him and grabs his shoulders)

(Dracula bites into Jokers next and starts rapping)

Joker, as you can see, you're in my grasp now

Here is your fate, become a vampire clown

You shall be my slave for all eternity

Of course to that honor, you're just barely worthy

(Count kicks Joker into a coffin)

(The coffin opens to Dracula's surprise, and what comes out scares him)

'''WHAT IS THIS CREATURE THAT I HAVE AWAKENED? '''

A FILM LEGEND THAT SHALL CAUSE COUNT'S END

LOOK AT THE SCARS, THE MIND, AND THE DISORDER 

YOU'VE AWAKENED HEATH LEDGER'S JOKER

Joker (Heath Ledger)
THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY VERSIONS OF ME THAT LIVE ON

YOU'RE KIND IS REMEMBERED BY THE BOOK THAT KILLED COMIC CON

I TAKE GOOD MEN, PEOPLE THAT HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT GOOD

AND TURN THEM INTO A PSYCO, A MURDERER, THE FUCKING RED HOOD 

''WANNA SEE A MAGIC TRICK? I'LL GIVE YOU FIREWORKS INSTEAD ''

YOUR BRAIN IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE STUFF INSIDE MY HEAD 

YOU CAN'T RAP, DRAC, YOUR A SAD EXCUSE FOR A BAT

A QUICK WAY TO KILL ONE IS A BOMB ON THEIR BACK 

(Joker pushes a button and blows up count) 

SO LOOKS LIKE IT TAKES LESS THAN THE SUN TO KILL DRACULA 

''IT TAKES HOMEMADE EXPLOSIVES AND THE TURE JOKER. AH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA''

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC 

HA HA AH AHA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA

'''RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! ' ''