User blog:Gliscor Fan/Stress and other Illusions

I assume most of you have noticed several of my outburst of anger occuring more recently than normal (yes, it's possible), and I feel like I need to explain something.

First of all, I'm trying my hardest to control this issue. It's not just here, on the wiki, but I've shown it in multiple other places. Work, Home, Other Websites, even in my Social life. I've recently come down with a shitload of stress from nearly everything I've done.

I do not have enough money to take a vacation. No, I'm also not going to leave the wiki. Instead, I'm going to become slightly less active here than I normally am and try my best to stay off chat for most of the day.

I know this won't do anything to solve the issue at hand, nor is it supposed to be a guilt trip, but I've been meaning to say this for awhile now. My family has a long history of anger issues on my mothers side. My Grandfather was kept in a Mental Asylum for 5 years back in the 1940s. This affected most of his child care issues and gave my own mother father issues. My mother was raised in an environment with constant bickering and yelling, and sometimes even violence up until the age of 18. Soon, she was married to a person who never paid his bills and wound up getting into more violent situations herself. I was raised in a similar environment with my own sister, growing up with constant bickering, and violence from all parties.

I've gone to counselling multiple times. School and Institutions. I've been in special classes throughout school because of my issues. I've had all the help I could possibly get, but it's not enough. Now, all my anger from Real Life translates straight to the internet. This is entirely my problem. I would more than love to have help on this, but I don't think it'll be enough. Lately, it's caused nothing but issues for me, and it's even resulted in someone asking for me to be blocked infinitly.

and it's not just this website. I've received more Death Threats in the last 4 months than I've received in the past 16 years. None of these Death Threats have happened on this website.

I'm not a stable person. Especially right now. I'm not going to leave, I'm not going to permanently disappear. But chances are I might not be on this wiki for much longer. This is not anyones fault but my own.

I'm sorry for acting like this. I'll try my hardest to act sane around here in the more recent months.