User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Dino Crisis vs Primal Rage - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Off-Season

hi everybody. It's an off-season. Yay! Anyways this battle was suggested to me by Legion and it seemed perfect for some reason so here I am. It's an off-season. About dinosaurs. Ye. Jet Black T-Rex from Dino Crisis vs Diablo from Primal Rage, two classic old-school video games that involve fighting dinosaurs. One, you fight dinosaurs as a human, the other, you fight dinosaurs as god damn dinosaurs. The connection between the two characters themselves are two weirdly-colored-tyrannosaurus-but-not-quite-tyrannosaurus creatures that reign over all as alpha predators. Ye. Something like that. Anyways, enjoy the battle. If you don't know either character I still recommend you read if you like dinosaurs. You'll see why.

Intro
Beat - Hammer

Announcer:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR...



VS!



BEGIN!

The Battle
(Human followers of Diablo denoted by this color )

Diablo
 (RAGE!)  I’ve got an appetite harsher than Sauron’s starvation,

For a black beard-less dragon who should have died with civilization!

 (EAT!)  You perished in magma, but I bathe in it at the planet's core

With lyrics as hot as lava, leaving your entire island Dino-sore!

 (MAIM!)  Diablo spits his Fireballs Fast while yours are merely slow

Barney’s gonna be sorry if he doesn’t take his flow and Verti-go!  (Oh!) 

So don't think you won't shrink in this ring, you over-grown skink!

 (KILL!)  Else you'll find yourself lucky if you go extinct!

Jet-Black Tyrannosaurus:
Seems the front-cover punching bag wants another one in the kisser,

So now this cold-blooded killer is gonna rain a verbal Blizzard!

If Clifford wants to see who spits sicker, than I’ll pull the trigger

On a pathetic Veloi-crap-tor stepping to a tyrant lizard!

You’ll get stomped flat as a Mortal Kombat wanna-be,

Because this immortal wombat’s as Infernal as his fatalities!

Like my volcano, my craziness is radiant, you satanist!

A self-proclaimed deity versus a violent and real atheist!

Diablo:
Diablo conquers! You and your brothers should take cover,

Predating you by four years, I'll devour this follower like any other!

(Diablo sweeps a human off the ground and swallows them whole)

And when Urth is all to myself, it certainly won’t end well!

So stay on your tiny island, or else revel in DIABLO’S HELL!

(Clapping & cheering)

Jet-Black Tyrannosaurus:
And stay there forever! Arma-don’t think of leaving your nether,

This draco better stay low before he loses his feathers!

You claim to be a god of sin but I’m the pResident of Evil!

Because the real king of all just shot you down like your sequel!

(As Jet-Black T-Rex finished rapping, the background behind him morphs into a large door with an unseen logo above it. A rumble is heard before another giant monster bashes through the wall, revealing itself to be...



INDOMINUS REX)

Indominus Rex:
Let’s hear some screams! This deadly Rexy’s here to leave marks,

In-dominate you snakes with hate because this shit is my theme Park!

And I spot two cracked-up lambs that I munch on for my massive plans

‘Cause can a hybrid diet on you tiny tyrants? You bet Jurassic can!

Your futures looking darker than you if you don’t quickly abort,

‘Cause you’ll be coming up short! Bitch, I kill for sport!

They’ll have to censor gore again if YOU step into my treasured World

I’ve got the prehistoric lyrics that spear it and make you say clever girl…

Alpha Predator! A top dog who’s about to flip your scripts,

Scarier than you pair of pricks back when I appeared in bricks!

I’m an Unstoppable King! So give me my deserved respect,

And tell your legions of heathens you got Tyrannosaurus Wreck’d

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP 'BATTLES '-

ALAN

... OF HORROR!

Outro


Who won? Diablo Jet-Black T-Rex Indominus Rex