User blog:Gliscor Fan/Epic Rap Battles: Pokemon vs History Nurse Joy vs Florence Nightingale



Welcome back to another brand new episode of Pokemon vs History! Today, we have an actual itunes cover (with a less interesting logo than before), and title cards. Today's matchup is one that I did not think of until I learned who Florence Nightingale was and decided to do some research, and then realized I had my own series and there was a Pokemon character that would perfectly fit the connection. Though I take some cues from the games, this Nurse Joy will be mainly inspired by the anime. I do not remember anything else about what rules from the anime I've used in the past, so they're gone now. Whatever. Anyway, the connection is nursing, so here we go!

INTRO
EPIC RAP BATTLES

POKEMON VS HISTORY



VERSUS



BEGIN!

BATTLE
Nurse Joy:

Welcome to the Pokemon center, may I heal your wounds?

Or are you just trying to escape the death of your platoons

Like you escaped the funds of your parents' immense wealth

And refused to get married for your own mental health

Damn Florence! Your abhorrence belongs in a machine

I know you take no excuses so why don’t you come clean

At the Pokemon Center, We’ll restore your well-being

So you can go back to war with the Cri-MEAN

You're shown as a joke in half of your plays

As you lay in a bed for the rest of your days

Now, before I pass the mic to you, here’s my diagnosis

It’s ironic for a nurse to have contracted brucellosis

Florence Nightingale:

The tales of war are never fun to share

But you stared Mewtwo in the face, so why don’t ya grow a pair!

I never wanted to trouble you, and my parents didn’t care

That my work was helping people like a breath of fresh air

But you couldn’t help anyone out on a dare

You put pokemon in a machine and they’re healed, there

You and all your sisters could come and pull up a chair

And let the lady with the lamp give you some actual care

Call me Baymax, I’ll check your health and be squared

As well as the health of your pokemon you fared!

I respect that your check-ups are pretty much free

Because that’s the way all health care should be

But my work inspired hospitals, don't be a diva

And don’t try to pick a fight with the Angel of Crimea!

Nurse Joy:

An Angel? Bitch, you’re more like a succubus

If the succubi were treating disease to scratch that itch

While she waits in a church she doesn’t want to be in,

And disregarded all the shit in any organised religion

Like a statistician who only knows her way around a graph

Then treating her parents like crap on her behalf

My Chansey and I will still help whoever needs it, kay?

And I’ll treat my sisters better than you treated Vernay!

Florence Nightingale:

You should pick up a book, cause that research is crap

But in the end, let me go ahead and give you some stats

A 100% chance this rap will end with my win

As I inject a verbal needle directly into your skin

With a fraction of a chance to cure that bad verse

And show you what it takes to be a real nurse

Plus, when it comes to training nurses, there isn't any other

Since you couldn't get anywhere in time to save Cubone's mother

OUTRO
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC

RAP

BATTLES

Ow, that's really sharp...

POKEMON VS HISTORY!

poll
Who Won? Nurse Joy Florence Nightingale