User blog:Loygansono55/Batman vs L - Epic Rap Battles of Loygan

Salutations, and welcome to my next rap battle! It's been a while since I last wrote a fanmade battle, so I decided to make this a bit longer than usual. We have two fictional detectives battling each other, Batman vs L, to see who has the better crime solving methods. Let's do this.

Title Cards and Beat
All of these title cards were created by J1coupe, so thank you greatly.



Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

BATMAN!

VERSUS!

L!

BEGIN!

Batman:
Get ready, Ryuzaki, cause the Dark Knight Rises!

You've got a lot of pseudonyms, but you'll soon need real disguises,

Cause I'm coming for you, DC Comics' looming superhuman,

I'm the Batman, stepping out to pound this pussy like Catwoman,

I'm the original incredible criminal-snagging miracle,

Striking fear into hearts, making them stop just like a Kira kill,

I'm always on the scene, I've got the glory and the green,

And with the way that you dress, no wonder you hide behind a screen!

L:
When it comes to kicking ass, it's something I'm interested in,

So your name's Bruce Wayne?

The beat stops as L's computer switches off, and he walks into his headquarters.

Bang! The fall of Batman Begins!

The beat starts again.

You always hide in the darkness, that doesn't sound Bold or Brave,

Especially when you always have Dick up in your Batcave,

In a city of circus freaks, the biggest Gotham is you,

I only need to mention Batman & Robin and you're screwed!

I'm a lot stronger than I look, I'll leave this bat nearly blind,

You're like Commissioner Gordon compared to my brilliant mind!

Batman:
I'll sneak into the shadows like Rem, an attack you can't prevent,

When you sit like that, your rapping skills fall by forty percent,

Call it a double Wammy when I take out Watari as well,

You'll be hearing the bell when you face this Bat Out of Hell!

You sit and watch TV all day, hiding behind a police force,

So when you die of diabetes, I won't show any remorse,

Menacing like a Shinigami, my presence will always linger,

I know you're used to holding tiny objects with a thumb and finger!

L:
You put thugs in jail, but I work on a larger scale,

I'll Change the World for the better, I swear that justice will prevail!

The secretly taped and lyrically Raped Crusader,

With the voice so messed-up, he's like a discount Darth Vader's,

More of an idiot than Matsuda, an easy case to crack,

Just like your back, call me Bane when I relentlessly attack!

I'll always be one step ahead of you when you choose to swoop down,

Tell me, why so serious when your arch-enemy's a clown?

Batman:
It's pretty obvious which way you swing when you break out the handcuffs,

And chain yourself to your suspect, but that still wasn't enough,

So you got each other wet and then you went straight for his feet,

In less than forty seconds, you're 'bout to get knocked right out of your seat!

I'll bite down on you harder than you bite down on a cake,

Rapping fast like the Batmobile, hesitating to hit the brake!

I'll shower you with guano bombs the moment I take flight,

You've just been served like in your tennis match with Light!

L falls to the ground dead as a computer switches on and a new voice is heard through it.

Near:
I'll be the last man standing, even when crouched on my knees,

This successful successor spits colder than Mr. Freeze,

Yet leaves you burned like Mello, you're just another toy to me,

I'm at the centre of the SPK, deleting you like Mikami!

Batman:
Finger puppets are your only friends, you're just a wannabe,

You call yourself Near, but you're not even close to beating me,

You don't scare anyone when you look like you just got out of bed,

I don't need superpowers to choke this kid until he's dead!

Near's computer switches off and he is shown rapping in a warehouse.

Near:
Riddle me this, who's the psychologically tormented and depressed,

Orphan with a painful past? I think you'll find I'm not impressed,

That you rely on gadgets instead of thinking it through,

I've seen my action figures put up more of a fight than you!

You belong in Arkham Asylum, behind a locked door,

So take that signal out the sky, for your legacy's no more!

I'll always come right back at you, just like a Batarang,

For your parents, it was over when the fat lady sang!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC-

The announcer gasps and dies of a heart attack.

Who won? Batman L and Near