User blog:JKGame/Greg Heffley vs Konata Izumi: Epic Rap Battles of the Universe

Wait, JK's using Greg again for Epic Rap Battles of the Universe?!! Is he gonna go down the Infinite Source route where he's just gonna keep using the same characters over and over again? ABANDON SHIP!!!

Yes, I am using Greg again, but I won't be using the same characters over and over again, ok?

Let's just get to it.

"Main protagonist of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, Greg Heffley, and one of the main characters of the anime Lucky Star, Konata Izumi, duke it out in a battle of lazy students who would rather play video games rather than do their work."

Battle
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!



Konata Izumi:
Don't have much to do today, so I'll use this time to spit a diss

Against this Wimpy Kid who somehow thinks he can make it big!

I can be as lazy as you, sure, but I still have a higher IQ!

Come on, you actually thought a killer hand was after you!

I'm a pretty Awesome, Friendly Kid with some cool buddies by my side

All you have is your so-called best friend that you don't even like!

So you still wanna fight? Heh, winning for you will be a Long Haul

And my rhymes will hurt more than sitting on a spiky tinfoil ball!

You have no talent, so I won't be surprised if rapping's no exception

So I must ask you: how low will you go just to pull out a win?

You know that your love life is pretty bad

When you technically get co** blocked by your own wingman!

Greg Heffley:
Tuesday: Today, this blue-haired moron is who I'm about to face

Whose show is like if Seinfeld was a high school anime

If this is the best you've got, then this Star won't be so Lucky

With how childish you look and act, you're like a female version of Rowley!

Don't try to flow! I'm gonna get more aggressive than Kagami!

I'll write down how your demise will go! Call me Light Yagami!

Your show and raps are like chocolate cornets: all fluff and no substance

You'll be yelling, "Zoo-Wee-Mama!" when you see this battle's big twist!

You're left forgotten and unwanted, like a slice of moldy cheese

Like a football to a Big Wheel, I'm gonna send this MC flying!

I'm not the type to get violent, but I'm still dropping these bombs!

After this, I won't be sure if I'm seeing you or your deceased mom!

Konata Izumi:

 * Yawn* Really, Greg? You think that was a good verse?

Like the picture with me and my father, I'm gonna leave you cursed!

You've got such a large ego that it's honestly insane!

And your fourth movie? Seems that was The Last Straw for your fanbase!

Greg Heffley:
You know, I bet Kagami was the one who wrote these lines

And it's creepy that your fans write prayers about you in that shrine

I'm about to Double Down on my disses, so you better be ready!

Especially after yours fell flatter than your chest, see?

Konata Izumi:
Well, a flat chest is a status symbol! Besides, you're pretty much a stick figure!

I'm doing steady at a cafe while all your plans to earn cash end in failure!

You've got a loser brother in a lame band while I have a cop for a cousin!

Your lines failed to amaze me. Guess I'm just another girl you couldn't impress!

You drop the 8-Ball in classrooms, getting traumatized in ladies' bathrooms!

Even watermelons scare you! You really are a wimp, dude!

From road trips to Getaways, nothing goes right for you. Hard Luck, I say.

Well, my time is up now! I have to go catch up on some anime!

Greg Heffley:
You think you're above me, but you're literally coming up short!

I'm just here making space for my Nick Kids' Choice Awards!

I don't even care if you keep on calling me a wimp

At least I'm not some creep playing saucy dating sims!

You were clumsy with your verse, but I wouldn't say you're sexy!

24 episodes of your boring crap? I'd rather spend another night at Fregleys's!

You and your friends try way too hard to be cute. That's just The Ugly Truth!

Heard you're good with fighting games, but you just lost to my rap combo moves!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

Poll
Who won? Greg Heffley Konata Izumi

Chrom vs Google Chrom: Bonus Joke Battle
Since I was gone for a while, I'm going to make up for it with a bonus battle. It's a joke battle, but I feel like it's not worthy of its own blog page so here you go.

Bet you five dollars that it will take only the first two lines for you to realize what this is parodying.

Oh, and also, "weeb" will be used a lot, but don't take them too seriously, ok?

RANDOM RAP BATTLES OF RANDOMNESS!

CHROM!

VS!

GOOGLE CHROME!

Google Chrome:

Google Chrome vs Chrom: whos going to win?

well not you, you're such trash I'd rather fight Lucina

Smash has way too many dame Fire Emblem characters, so this will be your fall

come to think of it, your game is not fun to play at all

this will be your doom, you just entered my zone

cause weeb, no one critical hits the Google Chrome

I'm useful, but you're just a little weeb

the only smash fans that play you are newbie weebs

Chrom:

Chrom is the standed that you can't keep up with

I created you, oh wait I didn't live, but I'm still letting you live

the only people that use google chrome are creepy weebs like tharja

my game is fun to play while yours just CRASHES AND LAGS!!!

listen here weeb, chrom is too good for this!!!!

stop taking the mic or I'll aether slash you like it was a SPARTA KICK!!!

just to let you know, google chrom, you'll be done and gone!

you're so bad your name should be WEEB.CHROM!!!

Google Chrom:

Nah, google chrome survives. I'm not even a website, so you're still losing

you're gonna regret this like how JK regrets putting you with Sully!

even Frederick knows you're just a laugh and a thing in the pastI

Captain Falcon kicked your a**, weeb, so kiss my a**!!

Chrom:

oh please, i'm gonna great aether you on your knees!

you spred flees, you're a fricking disease!

Google Chrom, just go away! We would be better off without you!

I existed way before you, so get the buck out you Plegian!

Does Smash have way too many Fire Emblem characters? Yes, definitely! I think we have enough. No! We don't have enough!

Opponents in need for hire
Chrom or Robin

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