User blog:WonderPikachu12/Phoenix Wright vs Atticus Finch. Epic Rap Battles: Video Games vs History

The battle you've all been waiting for, Phoenix Wright vs Atticus Finch. :D And to make it even better, I have Joey guest starring as Atticus Finch. Love you bby. <3

'Eponymous protagonist of the Ace Attorney series, Phoenix Wright, and protagonist of To Kill A Mockingbird, Atticus Finch, take flight in a battle of near-unbeatable bird-named lawyers.'

Phoenix Wright Background: Behind a courtroom bench.

Atticus Finch Background: Behind the opposing courtroom bench, but his side in black and white.

Intro
February 7, 2015 10:06 AM

District Court

Courtroom No. 2

The courtroom was filled, rows of seats behind the two of us, as was the jury stand. Never defended for a jury trial before... The accused? Robert Stroud, for murder. Sweat poured down my brow as it usually did whenever I grew nervous. (This guy I'm defending, Robert Stroud...he's a known criminal! He's killed before! There's no way I can clear my client with a guilty. But of course, I have to stick by my saying of having faith in my clients...) I glanced over at my opponent, the legendary Atticus Finch, truly a legend among attorneys such as myself. I almost felt unworthy of being in the same room as him, even worse so with having to challenge him in court...

"Shouldn't be too hard, right?" I asked as I turned to my ever-faithful assistant Maya Fey. "Clearing a known killer of murder charges..."

Maya was clearly just as tense as I was, or maybe that was just determination she was expressing. "It seems bleak and hopeless, I know, and we probably won't make it out alive-"

(Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence...)

"-but we just have to stay positive and keep our cool."

"Is that how you were when you presented fake evidence in court?"

My blood ran cold as I turned to Atticus Finch glaring me down. (Being talked down by a legend, yeesh... That's certainly good for my self-esteem...not.) "Well, uh, actually, that was kinda cleared up a while later, you see, and it was proven that-"

Atticus stared me down through his glasses, a glare crossing over the lens like something from an anime. "You still gave fake evidence in court. Whether or not you were aware of what it was, you had the fullest intention on presenting it in court." He turned his attention forward once more, though continued to speak. "Any attorney remotely worth their time would examine the evidence beforehand rather than rushing to present it in hopes of a non-guilty verdict. It shouldn't be just about saving your client, but finding the truth. And I'm certain you knew that, but your arrogance cost you."

"Look, it wasn't my fault-"

"It wasn't your fault that it was fake, but it was quite certainly your fault for presenting it. Then later you'd intentionally forge evidence... The nerve. Even if you weren't an attorney at the time... You are truly pathetic, and quite honestly, unfit to be called an attorney in any regard."

My hand clenched up, crumbling the paper I held onto a ball. I could faintly hear Maya right next to me trying to calm and reassure me, but my mind was elsewhere, fogged and clouded with resentment towards a man I'd looked up to and respected my whole life. I glanced up at His Honor, who was a bit preoccupied going over papers on his desk, then turned back to Atticus Finch and quickly rose from my seat.

Battle
Beat: http://www.allroundabeats.com/beat-criminal/

EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY

PHOENIX WRIGHT

VS

ATTICUS FIIIIINCH

BEGIN!

Phoenix Wright
(starts at 0:25)

This little Finch wants to step to a living Phoenix in this courtroom brawl?

Meet the third Wright of flight! I'm serving justice for all!

You should know I've read through your book, so I've checked up all your tricks.

This pathetic lawyer is more annoying than gum on my shoe.

Maya
(0:35)

That's right, Nick!

Phoenix Wright
(0:36)

Whip you harder than von Karma with rhymes stricter than Calpurnia's bouts.

I've got eight games, a manga, and a movie, now where's your turnabout?

My games keep people thinking and guessing, while you bore them with every page.

Spitting disses in your face and you'll still underestimate my rage!

I'm always Wright, while you're just Trite. I'll leaving you wincing in Payne.

You know I got those pop culture chops and each reference is a Jem all the same.

Go set your watch, man; your time is done. I've been through real trials and tribulations.

Stick to your little Maycomb. I'll be crossing overseas with Professor Layton.

Atticus Finch
(1:01)

Your Honor, I'd like to cross examine the witness regarding fake evidence.

Surely the honorable Mr. Wright will admit this and testify to its existence.

So, can the so-called Ace Attorney address the jury with his story,

And release the fury of Atticus Finch in all his unmatched glory?

I don't mean to browbeat around the bush, but I find your story unbelievable.

My book's a one-shot wonder, your company is evil, churning out sequels.

Hold it and take that, you'll have no real objection to any of my methods.

I'm court assigned to give a lawyering lesson, you're recklessly getting arrested.

You got three days to defend yourself, do you think you can try and manage that?

Looks like you can't, 'cause you got kicked out, now you're sporting a lame hat.

Showed no regret, disabled your defense, finally proven I'm the best.

You won't rise from the ashes this time, Phoenix. The prosecution rests.

Phoenix Wright
(1:37)

Your Honor, my opponent's testimony holds a clear contradiction!

This bird mocks me about sequels, then gets one, too. Time for a hypocrite's conviction.

You claim to be the best, but I see your Psyche-Locks and awkward twitchin'!

So I say, You've been cornered! You're from a town with poor diction.

Eliminate the impossible and what remains must be the truth; I'm the best attorney of fiction!

You're from a book so bland and boring with a worse life-action depiction.

You're not Edge-worth my time. This court is my jurisdiction!

You think you're killing it? I've defended innocent clients with worse murder convictions!

Atticus Finch
(2:07)

Jem, Scout, Dill, take a good long look at this villain in blue,

And remember this could be you if you stay tormenting Boo.

Now run along to Calpurnia. Wright, I will burn ya, it's clearly a cinch.

Don't step one more inch, I won't flinch, Landing disses like a Finch.

I got me those radical opinions, defining a black man's freedom.

Despite oppression from those I serve, Scout, don't believe them.

I wanted you to see what a real, dope rapping lawyer looks like.

You're as cowardly as Mr. Ewell, only doing your movements at night.

(The judge suddenly stands from his seat and removes his robe, revealing himself as Harvey Birdman.)

Harvey Birdman
(2:26)

Two men bickering about who's less of a failure? I'LL TAKE THE CASE!

I'll kick you in your Peanuts, because you're both a disgrace.

Wright, we know you're Wrong. You get your best help from magical rocks,

And whenever your jailbait partner turns into your hot, dead boss!

And while Feenie is busy being confused about whether he's in Japan or California,

I'm going to make sure that you, my dear Finch, get this diss I'm gonna send ya.

You're naïve and just a bad dad, secretly Jacking off to Maudie,

And I don't mean to Bragg, but even my original show was less shoddy.

I'm always at the ready, defending the cartoons you all loved as children.

Powered by the sun, you know I'm hot, always defeating villains.

Like each of my court cases, I'll make sure to end this quickly.

I'm the best marvy attorney, and I find you both GUILTY!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?



EPIC-



RAP-



BATTLES-



VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORYYY!!!

Poll
Who Won? Phoenix Wright Atticus Finch Harvey Birdman

Hint
Here's a hint for the next battle: