User blog:Amontgomery1432/Thanos vs Monika - Amont's Epic Rap Battles Episode 5



Hello, I initially wasn't planning on bringing this series back, but the warm reception to my previous blog put a spark of creativity back into my heart. I had lost the drive to keep this series going, but then I stole this idea from UBERocity  had this idea. Fun isn't something one considers when balancing their schedule, but this does put a smile on my face. Also, I saw that Thanos has his own official page now, which...Seriously? They're using Thanos? Against who? Emperor Palpatine? Oh, well. I wanted to get my own Thanos battle out there so that you all can eventually hit me with "Wow, this isn't as good as ERB" when that one drops. It is inevitable. In the long-awaited fifth episode of Amont's Epic Rap Battles, Monika the main antagonist of Doki Doki Literature Club, goes head to head with Marvel's very own Thanos! Cause reality warpers, I guess lol. I think it goes without saying that DDLC spoilers are present in this battle, but there's also a few Endgame spoilers as well. Like, rather big Endgame spoilers. Go watch that before you read this, for sure. I'm specifically using the MCU version of Thanos, so that's why I gave that disclaimer.

I attempted to make a cover art for this matchup, but I can't figure out how it works lol. Yes, I am that incompetent. So, if anyone would like to give me a crash course in Photoshopping together a cover art so I can make them for this series, that would be much appreciated. I can probably figure it out on my own, I'm just lazy lol. At any rate, it feels good to be back. I have a few more ideas for this series, after throwing out all the ones I did have lol. I'm always open to suggestions, though. If anyone can think of a good opponent for Jack Stauber, I'd love to hear it. Cause I cannot.

Thanos in purple

Monika in pink

Beat: "Reality" (My timing on when the verses start might not be that good lol)

Intro:
wait, what? this series isn't over?

are you fuckin' serious?

i'm on vacation, motherfucker!

ugh. okay

AMONT'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!

THANOS!

VERSUS!

MMMMMMONIKAAAAAAAAA!

GO!

Monika (Starts at 0:20)
Looks like I'm battling a grape that spent too much time in the sun

In this world of infinite choices, you sure made a drastic one

Took you ten years to find a couple rocks. Are you kidding me?

Looks like Ron Swanson here is a less threatening villain than Loki!

Aren't you popular enough, or did you need that Fortnite money?

Don't be so broody all the time, man! At least Ultron was funny

You're a decent character. It's just a shame that it seems

Like the only thing you'll be remembered for is the memes!

Thanos (Starts at 0:51)
Don't start a War with me, kid. Playtime's no longer in session

You're a musician, yet all the songs have the same chord progression

What makes you special enough to garner such admiration?

You're Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, with less-quality animation!

The payoff wasn't worth all the time that the journey took

If I wanted to read that much, I'd pick up a fucking book

You're putting up a fight, I suppose that much is true

But, after all my work is done, I hope they don't remember you!

I'm balancing the universe, both parts immingle

You just can't handle the fact that you're lonely and single

But, if you're searching for love, you might could use a little help

If the player won't take care of you, then I'll  myself!

Monika (Starts at 1:21)
Your poetry needs some work, so here's my tip of the day:

Maybe you should've made all the heroes go away

'Cause look at you, now: A pile of dust on the floor? Ha!

You've fallen off your game and landed harder than Gamora!

Thanos (Starts at 1:30)
I am inevitable! What makes you think that you compare to me!?

Your Reality can be whatever I want it to be!

If you were going for the head, then you should work on your aim

Consider your ass deleted, cause I'm Ending this [https://doki-doki-literature-club.fandom.com/wiki/Doki_Doki_Literature_Club! game]!

[the beat stops here]

Interlude:


Both of the combatants shield their eyes with their hands as a flash of white consumes the playing field. When the light settles, Thanos lowers his arms, expecting to see an emptier battlefield. But that isn't what happened.



Monika has transported them to her room. Thanos looks around, stunned at what he is seeing. "What?" , he asks in utter disbelief.

"You're not the only onen that can do that." , she replied with a giggle and a smirk.

Enraged, Thanos activates the Reality Stone and begins changing the area behind him into his home planet of Titan. Before it can engulf the area around Monika, however, her eyes glow red as she resists the force of the stone. Her background isn't changing at all.

"Impossible!" , the Mad Titan exclaims.

New beat: "Dark Angry Hero" (Again, the timings might not be correct lol)

Monika (Starts at 0:33)
I'm not finished with you yet, so let me be another hurdle

With all this talk of taking half, you're just Negan if he was purple!

Go back to selling Happy Meals to kids, you monster. We don't want you here

As far as villains go: Without a doubt, you're F tier

Opted to murder your own daughter just to get your way. You're joking, right?

Even Natsuki's dad would say you went over the line!

"Thanos" has got to be the dumbest name that I have ever heard

You aren't welcome here. Comic books don't count as literature!

Thanos (Starts at 1:01)
You're into poetry, yet that's the best that you could come up with?

I don't guess I'll need the Gauntlet if I'm fighting this bitch

But, if you won't give up that easily, then I'll just have to hurt ya

I'll burn every single atom 'til there's !

Then, I will build a new reality on top of your remains

One that knows they need to put more than just cutscenes in their games

And, when I'm done, I will retire and my army will disperse

As I sit and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.

Monika (Starts at 1:30)
Don't Tesser-act like you're some kind of hero, Barney. You're a psychopath!

If half of all life is gone, then I'll let you do the math.

Thanos (Starts at 1:37)
You say I'm mad because I want to help? How expected

Tried to force someone to love you, yet you still got rejected.

Monika (Starts at 1:44)
Don't talk to me about love, bitch! What you did was unjust

You fell victim to your own trap; Another One Bites the Dust! 

Thanos (Starts at 1:51)
I'm sorry, little one, but this is how it has to be

Now, I'm off to go and find someone who'll actually oppose me.

Epilogue:
Thanos raises the, now damaged, Gauntlet. All the stones begin to glow. Thanos extends his arm towards Monika and a colorful blast of energy emits from the stones and towards her.



Outro:
WHO WON?

WHO CARES?

DOES IT REALLY MATTER ANYWAY?

AMONT'S EPIC RA- [the logo turns to dust]



Poll:
Who Won? Thanos Monika Who Will ERB Put Thanos Up Against? Emperor Palpatine Negan John Oliver Does it fuckin' matter?

Characters I Need Opponents For:
If I'm gonna be keeping this series going full time, then I'll need your help coming up with matchups. I have a few in mind, some of which are ones that I am really excited for, but I have people I want to use that I can't think of anyone for. I've made it a gallery, so that people who aren't familiar with the names might be able to recognise their faces. I'll accept normal suggestions, too, I'm just stumped when it comes to these six. I'm still working at Photoshop for cover arts, too lol

I'll see you beautiful people on the flipside. Buy my album when it comes out, or I'll find you. And you don't wanna know what I'll do when I find you. It won't be pretty, I can assure you of that.