User blog:TCalderon/Tetsuo vs Ness - Weeb Shit vs Anything

Now, some of you who've seen the hint I left on the last battle I made here (roughly ten billion years ago if I remember correctly) and are seeing this are probably thinking to yourselves "Hey, neither of those are a sexy redhead NOR a french heroine!". Well, during my absence, I decided to change up my plans for this season a bit to something that I'm a little more content with.

'''Erza Scarlet vs Joan of Arc (that was the matchup I had intended to be next) will still happen, I'm just pushing it back a little until I've actually binged more than a handful of episodes of Fairy Tale. But, on the bright side; I ended up being really happy with this matchup! Might even be one of my personal favorites.'''

'''So, enjoy this battle between Tetsuo, from Akira, and Ness, from Earthbound! And see which psychi kid from a cult classic franchise is truly superior!'''

WEEB SHIT VS ANYTHING​​​​​​

NESS 

VS

TETSUO 

BEGIN!!!​​​​​​

Tetsuo:

Let’s go back in time; back to the late eighties,

When I captivated Western audiences, and stuck it to Disney!

To this day, my film is still revered as a classic hit!

While your game looks like something I would see on an acid trip!

I’m riding motorbikes, and taking on street gangs!

You and your friends are sitting shotgun in a Runaway Van!

You think you can snap back, smacking with your Cracked Bat?!

'''You’re out of luck, you sad sack! I suggest you backtrack!'''

I don’t think you understand the sheer destruction that I’m worth!

'''I could rebirth the universe! You’re still Bounded to the Earth!'''

I leave chaos in my wake, and left Tokyo shaken!

While your sequel can’t even get an English translation

Ness:

You’re one to talk about acid; I see you’re still popping pills

And showing no remorse for the people that you senselessly killed

'''To what end is all of it worth? So you can be the next Akira?'''

Well, with that disgusting blob shit, no one would wanna be near ya!

You came from a hit that many fans do remember,

But I’d hate to break it to ya, bro; the manga was better!

'''You’re loco, you bozo! A burden to Tokyo!'''

With a forehead that could rival Code Lyoko!

When I took down a street gang, I got approved by the mayor!

You took one on, and got taken into a government lair!

Those powers, your destruction; it’s all a facade!

You’re nothing but a labrat who’s pretending to be a god!

'''But I can sense a deep sadness; like those toddlers, you’re blue with it! '''

Like a direct result of Giygas’ influence!

And before you go on with your petty revenge

I’ll proceed to crush your ass like you did to your girlfriend!

Tetsuo:

'''Sixteen lines in that verse? No wonder there isn’t more,'''

'''Considering you struggle to reach up to 64! '''

How can you diss my powers when you stole your friends’ abilities?!

You only know healing tricks, while I’ve the powers of a deity!

'''You know naut what I’m capable of! I can truly bash foes!'''

And you’re the kid who’s only because of Super Smash Bros!

'''I’m more powerful than Giygas! A being unlike any other!'''

'''You’re left without a Prayer, Ness! Better run back to your mother!'''

Ness:

At least I have a family; you were an orphan, but then

You got messed up in the head and drove away your best friend!

And while I saved the world, you were burdened with those powers you owned

You friends might’ve survived, but now you’re only left alone…

WHO WON?!

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!!!

Who won? Tetsuo Ness Which potential bonus battle would you prefer? Tohru vs Zim 2 Miss Kobayashi vs Daenarys Targaryen