User blog:Epichaxboi/Epic Google Translate Battles of History - Gordon Ramsey vs. Julia Child

why do i keep making these

Gordon Ramsey-

And that's how you make a perfect risotto.

Right. Mrs. Child, welcome to the big people table.

I have exactly two minutes and you should be grateful

Because I'm in the fucking weeds with all these shows to throw!

I keep my ovens preheated and my drivers green!

I am a seasoned pan; you are a PAM sprayed pot!

I had Michelin stars; you are like the Michelin man!

I roll in the dough like wellington beef screaming,

And I shit on you like I'm intolerant!

Julia Child-

Oh, is not it a wonderful thing?

A grumpy little chef who thinks he can bring

Enough to justify becoming brutal

With the Queen in love with beef Bourguignon!

I rock like concrete on these bomb beats!

Cut the French fries since you sucked your mother's pacifiers!

I served America conscientiously, and I slice the lard beautifully!

I reign supreme of the shark repellent at the charcuterie!

Go and cross your arms in this position of B-boy!

As for the haute cuisine, there is only one slogan: France!

Here is a good amuse-bouche: take a poor young man abused,

Set a thirty-year timer, voila! Huge shower!

You're a pansy of candies, Gordon Ramsay!

You could not get out of a pastry bag, do you understand?

I laugh and create; you cry and destroy,

But fear, my dear boy, is less succulent than joy!

Gordon Ramsey-

I'm glad you got that from your giant and limp chest!

I'll call you a donkey, but you look more like Shrek!

When the Iron Man leader sings a rhyme,

I'll open you like a good red wine!

I am a culinary innovator. you are not creator!

Regurgitate French plates as a glorified translator!

I am fresh; you have exceeded your expiration date!

Well, go! Blue Team, drop the bouillabaisse! (Yes sir!)

I saw your little show and it's really not pretty!

A Big Bird party, two parts Miss Piggy!

You can not test me with your fat recipes!

Call your book Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!

I mean, it's bullshit! (Yes, Chief!) Look at page 408!

Tell me, who's fucking (yes, chef!) Want to learn how to cook calf brains ?!

You call these crude rhymes? (No, chief!) They are soft and stale!

Now, here, take this jacket ... Now, give it back and fuck it!

Julia Child-

Oh please, your defeat is guaranteed!

Conceded, I have this in the bag: under vacuum!

(Ha!) Michelin indeed, you did well,

But as a person, you could not get a star on Yelp!

I could freeze a steak with these frosty tricks!

What is this bitter taste in every word of your lips?

You scream against women, but the crises that you launch

Make yourself the most pissing bitch in the kitchen!

I'll pat your head, melt you and stick it to you!

Everything is good with enough butter! Booya!

Oh, I'm so glad you spent this time with me!

Now, eat a dick! Enjoy your meal!