User blog:Dr. So6/Canada vs Switzerland - Epic Rap Battles of Nations

Hi everyone, my name is Dr. So6 and this is the second installement of the Epic Rap Battles of Nations blog posts serie. So yeah, it may not be perfect but at least I tried and I had fun writing this :)

In this episode, two stereotypically cold, boring but nice countries are fighting : Switzerland, the fiscal paradise known for its neutrality and its chocolate against Canada, a country where people are polite, nice and fond of ice hockey.

I worked really hard on this battle, so I hope you enjoy ! Don't forget to leave your suggestions for the next battles in the comment section.



The battle
Instrumental used for the battle here  (by Epistra beats)

The battle starts at 0:10 and ends at 1:33

Switzerland :
Yodle-adlee-hoo ! I am now ready to fight,

So sit down in this chairlift and please hold tight,

We are climbing to the peak, this is gonna get bleak !

This rap will be a black piste: you’ll go down really quick !

My disses are sharp like a Swiss army knife,

Prepare to get beaten for the first time in your life!

You’re weak, you’re nothing, you’re irrelevent

You are the bitch of Murica while I’m fully independent !

Canada : (0:31)
You must be a fool for wanting to fight me.

You’ll be crushed like a bug, look at you, you’re so tiny !

I’ll melt you like a cheese and eat you like a petit suisse.

This time you get burned, just like Washington DC !

And you want to freeze me ? I’m a giant of ice !

Represent the maple leaf, so you can keep your edel-scheiss!

I’m a sportsman, a hockey master of high rank.

Now go hide my trophies and my medals in your little bank.

Switzerland : (0:51)
I am more than a bank, you little Pepsi !

My guards protect kings and popes, I’m a mercenary !

If you try to beat the archer, this battle won’t end well

Arrows piercing through your head, call me MC William Tell.

Gonna kick you in the butt, you will fly from sea to sea

This is a story aboot a boot straight up your ass, you see ?

You try to act like you’re nice, but in fact you’re just a fiend !

Tell me more about this genocide, on this land you “redeemed”.

Canada : (1:12)
Oh, the irony ! You can speak for yourself !

What about the Jewish gold you kept on your shelves ?

You talk about relevance ? You did nothing in history !

Except hiding behind your mountains while helping the nazi.

For once I break the rules of your Geneva convention

Cuz' you seriously need some rectifications :

You’re a corrupted, xenophobic, greedy little boche

Luckily you do horology, cuz’ your ass got swatched!

Outro
WHO WON ?

WHO'S NEXT ?

YOU DECIDE !



Poll
 Who won ? Canada Switzerland 