Oprah Winfrey vs Ellen DeGeneres/Rap Meanings

Ellen DeGeneres:
'''Hey God, it's me, Ellen. Can I ask you a question?'''

(Ellen makes a reference the famous comedic bit she did on the Johnny Carson show where she talks to God on the phone and asks him questions.)

How do I tell my friend Oprah she's gonna get more whipped than Stedman?

(Stedman Graham is Oprah's boyfriend/husband, who was brought to fame specifically for being Oprah's partner. Being "whipped" is a slang term for when a guy is being completely controlled by his girlfriend. Ellen could be referencing how Oprah is controlling and how she [Ellen] will be controlling Oprah in this battle.)

'''I'll make her head spin! When it comes to rhymes, I got a penchant!'''

(Ellen claims to have a penchant, or an affinity, for rapping, and so she'll make use of it to confuse Oprah with her verses.)

So if battling me is your intention, I better mention

(Ellen warns Oprah that if she wants to win this battle, she's going to have to understand something about Ellen, in the next line.)

You're about to get licked by a lesbian!

(Ellen DeGeneres is a lesbian. To "lick" someone is also to smack them. Ellen is saying she will beat Oprah.)

(Ohh!) I'll knock you off your throne, take a shot at everything you OWN!

(Oprah has often been nicknamed "Queen of All Media" because of her reach and influence within the industry and her effect on viewers. Queens often sit on high thrones as a mark of their rulerships, but here, Ellen wants to take her down from her position. The capitalization of "OWN" is a play on the Oprah Winfrey Network, or OWN, which Winfrey launched in January 2011.)

I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say, 

("Got the skill" is used as a rhyme with "Doctor Phil" in the same line. Ellen's rapping is so good, that...)

Dr. Phil:
I think you better just leave her alone!

(Dr. Phil is a trusted television psychologist, known for helping with serious family issues, and a friend of Oprah's. Ellen's rapping is apparently so good, even someone as intelligent and trustworthy as Dr. Phil advises not to mess with her. He delivers this line in his customary matter-of-fact voice.)

Ellen DeGeneres:
You can tell Rachael Ray that my favorite recipe is

(Rachael Ray is a television cook whom Oprah helped become more well known. Ellen is ordering Oprah to tell her that...)

Chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces!

(Ellen claims that she will cut up Oprah. At the same time, it is a reference to A Million Little Pieces, an autobiography that claimed to be about the life of a drug dealer named James Frey but was later revealed to be a hoax. Oprah extensively promoted the book and was infuriated when she discovered the truth.)

Oprah Winfrey:
I'm the queen of TV, and I'm here to destroy ya,

(Oprah asserts that she is the queen of television talk.  She's recognized as a major personality across the globe.  She is preparing to use her considerable star power to crush Ellen.)

So check under your seat because I've got something for ya!

(On many of her episodes, Oprah would give the members of her audience gifts under their seats, such as her most famous gifts, car keys. She is saying that Ellen should check under her seat (her butt) because she's got something (Oprah's foot) for her. It's a subtle way of saying that Oprah will kick her butt.)

You can't even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah.

(Oprah states Ellen will never reach Oprah's status as one of the most powerful and well-known people in the world.)

I'll attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya!

(Oprah and spiritual guru Deepak Chopra made a 21-Day Mediation program together, and Deepak Chopra sounds like Deepak Choke Ya, thus, Oprah makes a pun on it. Oprah is also saying she will choke Ellen.)

Girl, your show's a petting zoo; you do a week with kittens,

(Oprah points out that Ellen's show is mostly about cute animals like kittens then mocks it by calling it a petting zoo.)

And you dance like a chicken who snuck into Drunk Kitchen!

(Continuing the line above, Oprah compares Ellen's dancing skills to a drunk chicken, which would mean it's really bad. This is also a reference to Hannah Hart's "Drunk Kitchen" series.)

'''You played a fish with brain damage. I'm a nominated actress!'''

(Ellen voiced Dory, a fish in the 2003 animated movie Finding Nemo. Dory also suffers from short-term memory loss and/or ADHD in the movie, both of which might indicate brain damage. Oprah was nominated for various movies like The Color Purple and The Butler.)

Name's synonymous with power, spell it forwards or backwards.

(Oprah is stating not only that she has power to her name as it is, but also that her production company, Harpo Productions, has power as well. "Harpo" is "Oprah" spelled backwards, hence the name.)

Ellen DeGeneres:
Yes, you've got that power (power!), and yes, I've got those kittens! (Kittens!)

(Ellen agrees that Oprah is a powerful person and that she features kittens on her show. Also, although it might just be a coincidence, Ellen references Will.i.am and Justin Bieber's song "#thatPOWER", in which Ellen acknowledges "Yes you've got that power" while the lines to Bieber's song went "I got that power". This could also be a reference to how Will.I.Am and Oprah are close friends in real life.)

I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens!

(Ellen often features puppies and clothing. Two of her most recurring guests are children Sophia and Grace, who were first found covering Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. Since then, they have gotten multiple endorsements and even a movie thanks to Ellen. Also, this is potentially a reference to The Puppy Episode of Ellen's sitcom, when Ellen's in-show character, and she herself, went public about her orientation.)

I like cute things that make people smile,

(Unlike Oprah's show, which usually features controversial topics, Ellen DeGeneres' is happier and more uplifting.)

Make everybody feel good for a while,

(Ellen's show is meant to be an uplifting one, continuing the line above.)

Do a little dance and the crowd goes wild,

(Ellen is objecting to Oprah's statement as fans tend to applaud or "go wild" when she dances.)

Kick you right back to the Miracle Mile!

(The Miracle Mile (actually The Magnificent Mile) is a stretch of Chicago's Michigan Avenue named for the buildings residing there. Oprah's studio was also located in Chicago, and Ellen wants to send her back there.)

I thought I told ya, your daytime reign is over!

(Ellen reminds Oprah that although she is very powerful, she's already a thing of the past, as her show ended after a 25-year run in 2011.)

I'm jumping over Oprah like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa!

(In May 2005, actor Tom Cruise appeared on Oprah's show and excitedly jumped on her sofa in response to his love life with now ex-wife Katie Holmes. The incident was one of Oprah's most notable moments.)

From ABC to LGBT to NBC, and now it's all me.

(ABC and NBC are television networks where Ellen's shows has been aired/mentioned. ABC aired Ellen's first show, simply called Ellen, where she famously came out in 1997. NBC currently airs Ellen's talk show since 2003. LGBT means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender which Ellen admitted being part of. She's also saying she is Oprah's replacement.)

I'm the best MC and the biggest star!

(Ellen has been well-received as the Master of Ceremonies at several Oscars ceremonies, most notably in 2007 and 2014. She has also built a significant reputation in her own right. She's been a spokesperson for CoverGirl Cosmetics and American Express, and was also a guest judge for one season on American Idol, to name a few achievements.)

And I'll bite you in the ass like the tax on a free car!

(During a September 2004 taping of her show, Oprah gave a Pontiac G6 car to every member on the audience. However, those in attendance weren't also told that if they were to keep their cars, they had to pay federal and state taxes totaling almost $12,000 per vehicle. That fact "bit them in the ass"; it was stealthy until it "attacked". Ellen is plotting a sneak attack on Oprah.)

Oprah Winfrey:
Your mouth is writing checks your mullet can't cash, lady!

(Oprah is saying that Ellen is rapping statements that she cannot back up. A mullet is a haircut that is short at the front and sides and long in the back, which is a hairstyle that Ellen normally wears. A mullet is also a fish, which could make this line a reference to her role as Dory in Finding Nemo.)

I'll lodge my fabulous shoe up your suit pants, baby!

(Oprah was known to talk at length about fashion, such as shoes. Ellen often dresses in a suit, which is something a man would do more of than a woman. Oprah is, hence, threatening to kick Ellen's behind with her heels on, and mocking Ellen's perceived masculinity at the same time.)

You follow my lead 'cause I paved the road for ya!

(Oprah says that without her own recognition, Ellen wouldn't be famous and that she follows Oprah's success methods. Also a reference to the Oprah Book Club book "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, whom she conducted the first ever interview with.)

You drive behind me in a second hand Porsche!

(Oprah says that Ellen will always be left behind her. This is also a play on words between Porsche, the car brand and Portia deRossi, DeGeneres' partner.)

Check the Fortune 500, I'm a media wonder!

(Oprah is in the Fortune 500 due to all the wealth her success has brought. Because of this, she is a big staple in the media. In fact, she ranks as the only African-American woman billionaire as a result of her empire.)

The Dalai Lama and Obama memorized my cell number!

(Oprah is saying that she is so famous that she is in the social circles of popular figures such as the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso and President Barack Obama, interviewing the latter as a US Senator and later stumping for him during the 2008 presidential race. Both men were also two of Oprah's most notable interviewees.)

Try to beef with me, I'll make the whole market crash.

(To beef with someone means to start an argument with someone. Once, Oprah said “I've been stopped cold from eating another burger!” on her show referring to Mad Cow Disease and Texas cattlemen sued her for “false defamation of perishable food" and "business disparagement", This sent beef prices into a tailspin, costing the Texans $11 million. Later, Oprah successfully won the case.)

Honey, once you go Oprah, you can't go back.

(A play on "Once you go [black], you can't go back.", a phrase used in relationships to describe that some races are better than others, usually in the bedroom. Oprah (with an assist from Stedman) is saying that once you watch her show, there's no returning.)