User blog:DexterMaximus/Benjamin Franklin vs Vince Offer: Revenge!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!

VS!

VINCE OFFER!

BEGIN!

Ben:

Welcome to this shocking edition of Ben Strikes Back!

To fight back, and bite back! against this wacko QVC hack!

You dare interupt my battle with your boyfriend B. Mays?

I'm the dad of the US! You sell shit, for which you get no praise.

Your coffin is ready, I've spat out the nails into the wood

But I'm still spitting these raps, oh, I bet you wish you could

Everytime I see your commercial, I'm like Sham....WOW!

What the hell was that? Well, I guess it's your turn now.

Vince:

You...still...here? Cameraman, get the fuck outta mah way

I've cashed in on this rap, and now ol' fat Ben has to pay

You need to shut the hell up, Ben, bite down on your tongue

Like I bite strippers, but they appreciate me, 'cause I'm well-hung

Unlike you, you and PC's are both electric and have floppyies, while I have a hard

Call me William Shakespeare, because the QVC channel has just got you lyrically barred

Ben-

Well, if you can jump in when your friend Mays was shunned

Prepare to be fucked up, get ready to be George Washingstunned!


 * Ben throws down American flag which morphs into Washington*

George-

Yes, I chopped down trees, and now I'll chop down you

I'll crush your nuts til your bi-focal, fucking delirious, s' true

Nobody knows who you are, Offer, we're just not conVince'd

I made you! Oh, right, you're a foreigner, hail from Israel

or some shit, well, Ben, your turn, time for me to bail


 * George turns back into American flag, in the shape of an eagle, and flies off*

Ben:

You come to the USA, whining about the people behind the founding

And yet your inability to rap is just completely and utterly confounding

Vince:


 * pulls of mic from face, beat goes off, and he speaks*

Well, that is it. If you can bring back dead people then so...can...i


 * during those last words Vince starts to glow red. Time goes backwards, untill we see Billy May's grave inbetween them*

...


 * nothing happens...until...*

...


 * Billy's grave shatters and he pops out*

But wait, there's more!

Yes, I'm back from the dead, giving you a rap attack

You overweight bitch, no wonder slimliness is what USA lacks

I'm a spilling out the truth of the TV shopping channel, trick

Billy Mays rules the world, so USA can suck my dick

I'm with Macho and 2Pac, the dead legends, while I can tell

You're with God and Columbus, all the dead founders down in hell

....


 * he falls back into his grave, which reforms.*

Vince:

And that's that!


 * on the last line everything explodes into the logo*

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!