User blog:Wimpykidfan37/Clay Puppington vs Ned Flanders/Rap Meanings

Clay Puppington:

Oh, that's just great: now the yellow people are moving in.

(The Simpsons, the show that features Flanders, portrays white people as having yellow skin. "Yellow" is also a term for "cowardly". Puppington is making a pun on Flanders's skin colour and also calling him a coward.)

If this turns out like last time, we'll end up burning down Moralton.

Think you're a Christian paradigm? I'd say you misrepresent.

After all, you don't even follow the Lost Commandments,

Most relevant to you of which would be this little adage:

"Though shalt not bastardize the American language!"

(One of Flanders's main character traits on The Simpsons is saying nonsense words at times, such as saying "diddly" instead of swearing. Puppington considers this a "bastardization", or messing up, of the English language, which is also the official language of the United States.)

I mean, you talk like they did right after the fall of Babel…

(The Tower of Babel was a tower built early in the Bible, the holy book of Christianity, that was supposed to reach to heaven. God did not like this, so he made sure that the builders of the tower all spoke different languages, and since no one could understand what anyone else was saying, it resulted in the collapse of the tower. Puppington claims that Flanders "bastardizes" the English language so badly, he can't even understand him.)

…Possibly due to biting into too many Krabappels.

(A crab apple is a kind of apple, meaning you can bite into it. However, it is also very sour. Flanders also started dating Edna Krabappel in the episode "The Ned-liest Catch" before ultimately marrying her in "Ned and Edna's Blend". Puppington is making a pun on Krabappel's name and saying that Flanders talks like this due to eating too many sour apples. This pun was also made in the The Simpsons episodes "The Principal and the Pauper" and "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore".)

You're too soft! Remember: "Spare the Tod, spoil the child",

(A pun on the saying "Spare the rod, spoil the child", which means that parents who do not spank their children are spoiling them. Flanders has two sons named Rod and Todd.)

And recall that, without discipline, you yourself once ran wild.

(In the episode "Hurricane Neddy" it is revealed that Ned misbehaved a lot as a child and only became the lawful character he is in the present after being spanked for a year. Puppington says that Flanders should do the same for his sons.)

Your turf is full of dangerous free–thinkers, while mine

(Springfield, the city in which The Simpsons takes place, features several non-Christian characters, including Krusty the Clown (a Jew), Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (a Hindu), and Lisa Simpson (a Buddhist since the episode "She of Little Faith"). When Lisa became a Buddhist, Flanders became very suspicious, as not being Christian made her a "dangerous free-thinker". Puppington says that Lisa, as well as the other non-Christians, are also "dangerous free-thinkers".

Is a perfect Protestant paradise where everything's fine.

You scream like a woman and have that stupid "Leftorium";

(In the episode "Bart of Darkness", Bart Simpson hears a woman screaming from Flanders's house and thinks Flanders killed a woman. At the end it is revealed that Flanders himself made the scream. The Leftorium is a store owned by Flanders that sells items like scissors and can openers for left-handed people.)

As mayor, I'm putting your words on indefinite moratorium!

You're a passive pushover, while I'm a regular Alpha male,

So let this battle mark the second time that Flanders has failed!

(When Flanders first opened the aforementioned Leftorium, it almost went out of business until Homer Simpson saved the store. The episode when this happens is even called "When Flanders Failed". Puppington is saying that Flanders will fail a second time, by losing the battle.)

You're far from perfect, so stop acting so smugly,

Unless you'd like to resume this more privately… in my study.

Ned Flanders:

I'd like to thank the Good Lord for this blessed opportunity

To condemn this wretched scoundrel with righteous brutality!

Whoever paired us as opponents was setting you up for a fall.

It almost feels like I'm fighting no one at all!

(In the episode "Little Big Mom", Homer Simpson went skiing and ran into Flanders, who was wearing a skin-tight track suit and claiming that he "felt like [he was] wearing nothing at all". Flanders claims that beating Puppington is so easy, he might as well not battle at all.)

Don't you chastise me with your phony, made–up rules, buddy.

Ditch your drinking den and take up some real Bible study!

See, you claim to know all God's rules, yet apparently missed

At least half of the actual commandments from Exodus!

I never claimed myself or my practices to be perfected,

Though, unlike you, I can at least truthfully say they aren't defective!

Your whole city's a backwards dystopia full of phonies,

All of whom I could biddy–slap with my right hand only.

("Biddy" is a term that Flanders uses instead of "bitch". His reason for opening the Leftorium in the first place is because of his own left-handedness. He is saying that he could "bitch-slap", or defeat, the entire cast of Moral Orel using only his weaker hand.)

How'd you ever become mayor; who in God's name counted that vote?

You may be an Alpha male, but I'm a charging Mountain Goat!

Now, I'm a very forgiving man, but it's hard to dismiss

The way you diddled Coach Stopframe and his bountiful penis!

(In The Simpsons Movie, Flanders, Rod, and Todd, are eating at Krusty Burger, and Flanders says, "Praise the Lord for this bountiful--" but is interrupted by a naked Bart Simpson crashing into the window, causing him to yell, "Penis!" and Rod and Todd to repeat, "Bountiful penis".

…Or maybe not, since, as your sins go, that's one of the lesser ones

Compared to, say, I don't know… SHOOTING YOUR OWN SON!

Clay Puppington:

Ned, I think you're standing near another major gas leak.

(In the episode "I'm Going to Praiseland", a gas leak at an amusement part that Flanders opens causes visitors to the park to have hallucinations. Puppington is saying that Flanders is probably hallucinating if he thinks he can win.)

Stop spouting nonsense before I make you turn the other cheek!

…Okay, fine! I admit it… but she cheated first,

And with the same guy, no less; why should I feel remorse

When that lying shrew never loved me? She's the one who coerced

Me to drink, and yet we still refuse to have a divorce

Because we're above breaking such a consecrated sacrament,

Just like we would never stoop to parental abandonment.

Hate away on me all you want for the hunting incident,

But remember: if that's to be counted as more than just an accident,

Then so is the time you and your blundering neighborino

(Ned refers to his neighbour, Homer Simpson, as his "neighbourino".)

Got drunk and committed bigamy in that sleazy casino!

(In the episode "Viva Ned Flanders", Flanders and Homer travel to Las Vegas, where they get drunk and marry prostitutes, even though they are both already married. Having more than one spouse is called bigamy.)

…You can't judge me; not honestly! You don't understand my pain.

I've been through things far more traumatic than any hurricane!

(The aforementioned episode "Hurricane Neddy" was so-called because, in this episode, Ned's house was destroyed by a hurricane. Puppington claims that he has gone through even worse circumstances.)

I know you like to see yourself as some sort of white knight,

But you'd be just like me if your life were as full of bright!

Ned Flanders:

Your justifications for your sins are woefully inadequate,

And, as you yourself once said, there are no accidents.

No "tragic past" is sufficient to excuse your behavior.

A father as bad as you makes my oaf of a neighbor

(Flanders thinks his neighbour, Homer Simpson, is an idiotic buffoon, especially to his children, but he also thinks Puppington is even more so.)

Look like that Atticus fella from To Kill A Mockingbird.

(On the contrary, Atticus Finch, the protagonist of To Kill a Mockingbird, is portrayed as a pleasant man. This might also be a reference to the episode "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife", in which Homer claims to dislike To Kill a Mockingbird.)

You disgust me so much, I'm on the verge of using swear words!

(As mentioned earlier, Flanders rarely swears. With Puppington, Flanders is about to lose his patience.)

Think your terrible childhood earns you automatic sympathy?

Well, guess what, pal: I've endured comparable tragedy,

But in the long run, have nonetheless kept my faith and morality.

You know who else that also goes for? Your own abused progeny!

See, I'm thinking that your issues with your mommy and daddy

Were a test of faith from God; a test that you failed, badly!

And I ask you: have you ever even tried to give up booze?

Barney proves that anyone can kick that habit if they choose.

(Barney Gumble, the town drunk of Springfield, temporarily gave up alcohol in the episode "Deep Space Homer" so that he could become an astronaut. He also gave up alcohol in the later episode "Days of Wine and D'oh'ses" and remained sober for three whole seasons of The Simpsons. Flanders claims that is Barney can give up alcohol, so can Puppington.)

You let yourself become a monster, and have only yourself to blame.

You're the most vile claymation since The Adventures of Mark Twain!

Clay Puppington:

Sit down and shut up! I don't need to be sober

To beat you with my belt over and over and over

And then choke you with my jacket, squeezing out your life

Until you've succumbed to death by shirt… just like your wife!

(In the episode "Alone Again, Natura-Diddly", Flanders and his family attend a car race, complete with women in bikinis who fire racing T-shirts into the crowd. One of the T-shirts knocks Flanders's wife, Maude, off the bleachers, causing her to fall to her death. Pupping compares this death to Flanders's own death by being strangled by a jacket, as jackets and T-shirts are both shirts.)

"Comparable tragedy"? Your life is Heaven next to mine;

The way I see it, you're the Homer Simpson to my Frank Grimes!

(In the episode "Homer's Enemy", a man named Frank Grimes moves to Springfield, only to become jealous of how much better off Homer Simpson is than him. Puppington compares this to Flanders being better off than him.)

You're everything I hate about the whole damned human race…

…I'll shoot you in both legs… and then… in the face!

That's not even a diss! I mean it, and here's why:

I genuinely hope you die!

(Whimpering) …I hope we both die…

Ned Flanders:

So, you've shown your true nature, just like I knew you would,

And I know better than to look at you as "misunderstood".

I don't view the wreck you are today as the animal you've become.

I'm convinced that it's the real you, and that it has been all along.

Making fun of my wife's death? Now, that is a low blow.

It proves you're worse than either Frankenstein or Dr. No!

(Frankenstein and Dr. No are two of the best known fictional villains. In the episode "Dude, Where's My Ranch", Homer Simpson writes a derogatory song about Flanders with the lyric "He's worse than Frankenstein or Dr. No!" claiming that Flanders is even worse than either of those villains. Here, Flanders makes the same claim about Puppington.)

Everyone hates you: your wife, your son, the reverend.

Your job, marriage and life couldn't be at a deader end!

You ugly, hate–filled, pathetic, hopeless hypocrite!

I literally want to strike you… but you're not even worth it.

You're alrea–diddly in Hell; it's too late to repent!

Clay, you are the worst human being I have ever met.

(Yet another reference to the episode "Hurricane Neddy". Homer Simpson tries to rebuild Flanders's house, but he does a terrible job at it and the house collapses after only a few minutes. Flanders finally loses his patience with Homer, calling him "the worst human being he has ever met". Here, Flanders says the same thing about Puppington.)