User blog:Hippie Rat/Rise of the Guardians vs Guardians of the Galaxy

Wow...this is like my fourth or fifth comic book character battle. Totally not going to do another at least for a long while. Anyway, a battle against the guardian teams that have had movies recently! And characters that have a personal connection with each other! The lead role characters, the female characters, the giant brutes of the teams, the anthropomorphic small mammals, and the characters with speech problems and can't really rap! Yay! Having to color wiki text sucks!

So my previous "Who's next?" poll was well-received and probably the smartest thing I've done in a while so yeah yay I did it again. Season 2 will come to an end soon and I have made no progress in the finale in a long while... Uh oh. Anyway, enjoy :)

Key
Star-Lord Gamora Drax the Destroyer Rocket Raccoon Groot

Jack Frost Toothiana Nicholas St. North E. Aster Bunnymund Sanderson Mansnoozie

Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Rise of the Guard(vs)ians of the Galaxy! Begin!

Star-Lord:

I look around, and you know what I see? Losers!

You'll be destroyed like Ronan the Accuser.

Bigger ice queen than Elsa, but you ain't that bad,

I'll blast your slasher ass back to a dead dad.

So you wanna spit lies you can improvise?

You can't even remember your mortal demise.

Why? When I'm through with you, well let's just say,

Tooth Fairy here'll have a hell of a day.

Jack Frost:

I hope you're prepared for more than nipping your nose,

It snows, school closed, and your style's froze.

I didn't choose the guardian life, it chose me,

Because Jack Frost's raps frost giant like Loki.

You're low key, "Space Lord", enough of your tricks,

Beat up a bitch, call that "Awesome Mix".

You're the Man on the Moon I won't trust, I spit it chill,

You got issues, Quill.

Gamora:

We got a ringer, the most dangerous woman in the universe,

I'm adverse to an inverse dental nurse.

Like an avatar to the avatar of death,

Bribe them with pennies, kids still get bad breath.

Toothiana:

Wings up, ladies, and take no prisoners,

The only Avatar here is your Hawkeye whistler.

You can have teeth back to cope with your loss,

And don't forget to floss!

Drax the Destroyer:

No one talks to my friends like that,

You have a holiday teaching kids to be greedy and fat.

My reflexes are too fast, nothing goes over my head,

Rip yours off, finger on throat means death.

Nicholas St. North:

Tchaikovsky! You think a Kronos is Thanos's foes is enough,

To defeat Kris Kringle? Babouschka babooms tough.

You can't let everyone around die for your revenge,

You screw up cities like your Earth friends avenge.

Rocket:

Well you don't know talking good like us and me,

Ain't no thing like me but me.

Hey, yo, you, kangaroo, every spring,

You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.

You got a cute little crew, that is true,

Gotta color it blue, that is also true.

Getting all excited because things get vernal,

Well you're all a bunch of jackasses standing in a circle.

E. Aster Bunnymund:

Who you calling kangaroo? I'm a bunny,

Cartman's the only coon that I find funny.

Crickey! Boomerangs coming at you, locked and loaded,

You think I'm scared of a filthy rodent?

Vermin, box you like Ali,

Vermin, gun down your folly,

Vermin, hope you have a good day, mate,

When your pet shrub finally meets his fate.

Groot:

I am Groot!

Sanderson Mansnoozie:

(Silence as he frantically creates images of things like a forest fire and hedge clippers because lols)

...

Guardians of the Galaxy:

You're getting infinitely pwned like an Infinity Stone,

Home intruders "checking" children until the kids are grown.

Rise of the Guardians:

Come on, you're all just a bunch of criminals,

You're the Guardians of the Galaxy in a universe that's fictional.

A green whore, a hamster, a vengeful dope, a thief, and a dumb tree,

Watch after the children while you fail to watch infinity.

Guardians of the Galaxy:

Y o u ' l l g o t h r o u g h a t r o p h y when you see our banditry,

You said it yourself, bitch, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Poll
Who won? Rise of the Guardians Guardians of the Galaxy

Who's next? Hangover vs Anchorman Freddy vs Jason Dr. Strangelove vs Dr. Frank-N-Furter