User blog:TheMindofMe/George Washington vs Abraham Lincoln. Epic Rap Battles of Independence

You all know what time it is.

Time for my awful series to come to a close.

So I shall close it with a BANG! (Get it, like fireworks?)

George Washington
This battle will go down in history

I must say, your death is a mystery

But don't get your little knickers in a twistery

You wanna fight? Say hello to my fistery

I'm like a scholar who knows how to be polite

You never even fought for those damn CIVIL RIGHTS

I'm more original than a republic and democracy

'Cause I'm the father of your country, so just bow down to me

Abraham Lincoln
Four score and 160 years ago

This nation was formed due to Britain gettin' low

You and Jefferson may have been the ones to unite us

But I solved the last disputes, so no one could ignite us

I got more swag than Hamilton. Yes, that's a fact

Me and Douglass are about to kick your urinary tract

People like me more than you, 'cause it's pretty clear to see

That I never chopped down my father's fucking CHERRY TREE

Alexander Hamilton
More swag than me? Plz, I gotta rap musical

My verses are slick, yours are just kinda dull

I'm the true Founding Father, you're just jealous; DURR

Don't believe me, hear it from my new beau: Aaron Burr

Aaron Burr
Washington, I don't know what's gotten into you, bro

You got a state and a capital, one enormous ego

Lincoln's gonna get logged when he hears the truth

But I'm the original murderer, suck it John Wilkes Booth

James Bond
I wouldn't exactly call you original.

Hamilton and Burr
Hm???

James Bond
Oh shit, wrong battle.

*he exits*

John Fitzgerald Kennedy
JFK has arrived today

Because he feels even gayer than José

Y'all are communists, schooling everyone to join republic

Lucky for me, I got to suck Nixon's TRICKY DICK

I don't know who to diss first; the bromance, the lumberjack

or this ni**er-fightin' fool in a big-ass hat

I slept with Marilyn Monroe and got shot in Texas

Compared to you guys: Well, you all seem a little sexist

Donald Trump
You wanna talk about being sexist? You got it

I put the "it" into "shit" when I dump on a grump

I'm about to educate all your social lumps

I never cut down no trees or wear powdered hair

I didn't grow up in a cabin or get shot in a chair

I'm no homo go-go with a Broadway show

and I didn't need to fight for black rights, no no

But you know why? 'Cause I'm better, I'm the King of America

Mrs. Clinton's gonna lose to me, and my girl Erika

Independence is what I stand for, so NO ISLAMS

You're getting Trumped now, so watch out for my bombs

WHO WON?

WHO'S NE-

''Screw it. This shit's over.''

Who Won? George Washington Abraham Lincoln Alexander Hamilton/Aaron Burr John Fitzgerald Kennedy Donald Trump