User blog:Joeaikman/Epic Rap Battles of I Don't Even Know What Series This is a Part of Episode 1 - King Julien vs Shaka Zulu

Hello fuckers! Welcome to the super special battle of awesomeness! Wait, this isn't Flats' new battle? This was written by Joeaikman? Who the fuck is that! I thought I was being hired to introduce a well known series. Oh who am I fucking kidding, no one reads this introductions anyway. Thanks to Alanomaly, Loygansono, GravityMan, TKandMit and Bobdave for their proofreading and suggestions. I've been told to link your pages but it seems pointless, everyone who read this will have heard of you.

So in this shitty as fuck excuse for a battle we see Shaka kaZs... Kazeh...Shaka Kazhe... Shaka Zulu, leader of the Zulu tribe and an incredibly influential general, go up against the lemur King Julien, of Madagascar fame, to see who is the greater African King who wear flamboyant crowns or some fucking shit like that.

The Cast
How the fuck am I supposed to cast this? 3/5 of the people who appear are monkeys! Wtf battle. Anyway, Shaka is brown (yes I'm racist fuck off, Julien is green, Mort is orange, Maurice is grey and Rico is white.

The Battle
Step to the Zulu and a true king's gonna bruise ya

Leave your ass served sorer than the Foosa did to ya

You're no ruler, just a useless excuse for a monkey

Hiding behind his freaks and failing to get funky

Draw on your Clover all you like, you ain't getting lucky

When the horns of my assault leave your fluffy tribe bloody

Ruled Africa as King, feared by friends and enemies

Left a legacy of slaughter that will live on for centuries

This lemurs gotta learn that there's more than Madagascar

So join me on my conquests and this man will get scarred

This is a clash of kings, and here's where the tale gets meta

You left a gecko in charge and he ruled your people better

Who's this stupid mothers boy failing to move it, move it

Compare our kingdoms, I rule it, you like to lose it, lose it

I'm King of the Zoo-lu, who's the Party Lord of the Savannah

Kill this cow if he tries to refer to royalty in that manner

Stop the production of crops, but you ain't paid to pick cotton

Let's prepare to kick ass, I like kicking ass-I mean bottoms

We will dunk this loser, cos Shaka lacks a sense of honour

Acting like your brothers who left Shaka Senz a gonna

Put a spear through the heart to stop your monkey business

Try to diss this? You're witless! The Zulu are getting vicious

My hordes move on yours and your followers depart

Have all the fancy crowns you like, you'll never look the part

Of King, because it requires strength and upper body muscle

Not stupidity, parties or this monkey's puzzling rebuttals

Dingiswayo doesn't sway on slaying his standing rivals

We will get tribal on this liar and his feet kissing disciples

NOT THE FEET! Maurice, tell my enemy who is the bestest

Ruler of the jungle, plains, and wears the better headdresses

I'm a fur covered stud, you're balding in your prime

At the time that Dingane stole both your crown and your life

I'm a friend to the sky gods, who drop rain like my rhymes

When I offer up sick lines like Melman as my sacrifice

Ignore those silly penguins, I'm the star and that's fact

It's called The King Julien show ...sure, let's go with that

There's no Otter King, you're another rat in my path

Explosive raps to dethrone traitors with a - KABOOM- blast

Who wants a brutal ruler, over one who's nice and sweet and sexy

My peeps are loyal whilst your arch enemies were your besties

Who won? Shaka Zulu King Julien Rico