User blog:Scrawland Scribblescratch/Bob and Jari

''We see a door. The camera zooms out as the door opens. A short man of questionable gender enters the room. It is "Bob".''

Bob: Jari, I'm home!

Jari calls from the other room.

Jari: Bob plz.

Bob: My name's not Bob.

Barry: Yes it is.

Jari: Barry, the fuck you doing in my house?

Barry: This isn't my house? It has to be; I never leave my room.

Bob: Are you the thing that lives in the basement?

Barry: So my room is the basement? That would explain the lack of windows.

Jari: We have a basement?

Bob: Jari plz yes of course.

Jari: Bob plz.

Bob: I'M NOT BOB.

Fire (in fireplace): I'm Bob.

Jari: No, you're Fire. He's Bob.

Barry: Get out of the Fireplace, Fire, or it'll eat you alive. I speak from experience.

Max: You're undead then?

Bob: How did you get in my house?

Jari: Your house? Bitch I pay for this place. The only thing you do is eat my food and plz me.

Max: Where is the underpaid labor you want me to do?

Barry: You need to clean my socks.

Max: Why, what's in them?

Barry: What goes in socks? Plz.

Bob and Jari: Feet.

Fire and Jorn: Penis.

Barry: Which is it then?

Max: Feet.

Barry: So it's not for penis then?

Max, Bob, and Jari: Nope.

Jorn: My whole life is a lie.

Max: Where are the sock then?

Jari: Barry's room.

Bob: You mean the basement.

Jari: Bob plz.

Bob: Jari plz.

Jari: Bob PLZ.

Random drunk troll: Plz stop plzing each other in public.

All: This isn't public.

Random drunk troll: Wut? Oh. Y'all left your door open.

Jari pushes the troll out the door and closes it.

Jari: See what happens when you forget to close the door?

Bob: Jari plz.

Jari: Bob plz.

Bob: Bari plz.

Barry: Eh?

Max: Bob used spelling error. It wasn't very effective!

The sounds of the TARDIS are heard.

Barry: My ride's here.

Jason steps out of the TARDIS.

Jason: Your TARDIS? This hasn't been your TARDIS in almost 50 years.

Jari: Err...if all of you could leave my house...

Bob: Jari plz.

Jari: Bob PLZ. Why do you even live here?

Bob: To plz you.

Phil: HAAAAAAAAA GAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Max: A wild thief has appeared!

Axel Berry: Phil plz. He kicks Phil.

Max: La Berry used la kick! Es super effectivo!

Barry: I didn't kick anyone.

Berry: I did.

Jari: You guys wanna leave now?

All (except Max): Jari plz.

Max (simultaneously): Jario por favor.

Jari: I'mma call the cops on you people.

Phil: FUK DA POLICE.

Ryan: The police is here!

Bob: You're no police! You're a Yude!

Phil: DAS WAISIS.

Berry: Phil plz.

Barry: Wach plz.

Berry: Barry plz.

Bob: All of you, plz.

Kevin: Da real cops are here!

Shaun: Plz you're just a steeler someone should call the constabulary on you!

Australian: Yu wot m8? Ahl fuk yer mum ah wel!

Jari: Do we even have police in this city?

Jorn: Is that what this is now? A city?

Fire: I was under the assumption that this house in the singular location in a solitary universe. I also believe this is the nexus to the real world and people can appear at will.

Bob: Hah like that'd ever happen.

Jari: Bob plz.

Bob: Jari plz.

Jari: Bob plz.

Scraw: THE POLICE IS HERE!

Max: Did tu not get la fired from la policia?

Scraw: Oh, right.

Shaun: Then who's the constabulary in this country? Damn America.

Nixon: Hey you're not a patriot! You're a traitor, like Edward Snowden!

Joey: Nixon plz I'm not even American.

Nixon: Oh. Well, you're still not an American!

Luigi: So then I'm not an American, for not knowing J. Edgar Hoover?

Mario: It'sa me!

Jari: I think I'm supposed to be the police, then.

Bob: Jari plz.

Jari: Bob plz. You're all under arrest!

Bob: Jari plz.

Phil: I just created a new code that can make everyone leave your house. Here you go.

Jari: Gee thanks. Uses code.

Phil: So can I be a mod now?

Scraw, Max, and Jason: No!

Phil: Goddammit you are all horrible people you're not even my friends!

Coder: Phil plz you're such a fucking idiot and all you know how to do is rage.

All: Look who's talking.

Bob: All of you plz.

Jari: Bob PLZ!

Jari uses the code again.

Jari: Well that should solve things. Shoots camera.

Credits roll.



Christoph Waltz as Jari van der Laan Jim Carrey as Bob Steve Carell as Barry David Tennant as Jason John Candy as Jorn Justin Bieber as Coder Adam Sandler as Ryan Bruce Willis as Kevin Actual fire as Fire George Lopez as Max Robert De Niro as Luigi Al Pacino as Mario Stuart Milligan as Nixon Simon Pegg as Shaun Vin Diesel as Wachowman Morgan Freeman as the Narrator