User blog:Tigerisnormal/Joseph Stalin vs Superman 2. ORRBoUDQ (OGTTIAL) Season 3



Woohoo MunKitteh you did it! season 3 hype bowl 2016

"it's a month lat-" no no stop halt tracks right there!!!

Soooo welcome back, hello. Guess what, it's a sequel.

Guess what, also? It's the first battle of Season 3.

"2 in 3 ?????????" yeah yep yepps

The Man of Steel, Clark Kent, flies into his adversary, the Man of Steel, Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili, aka complicated Russian name, aka normal Russian name, aka Joseph Stalin. guess the connection

3 2 1 blast off

into hiroshima

wait no

Munkee's Note: That break took a bit longer than expected, now didn’t it? Anyway. Yes, yes, we’re finally back. No promises, but I’d like to think this kind of delay won’t happen for a while. As I type this half of next battle is already finished ;). But anyway, I wanted to say something else besides the whole “yey munkitteh Season 3”. That would be cliche, and cliche is not the MunKitteh way. What I want to do is dedicate this battle to a departed friend, A6, who in the past helped us out with Disney vs Henson, and was a cool m8 overall. If you really are gone for good, m8, then goodbye. Maybe you’ll see this someday. Bloop.

Joseph Stalin vs Superman 2
OVERRATED RAP BATTLES OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY!

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG!



VERSUS



AGAIN! BEGIN!

Joseph Stalin:

(Begins at 0:18)

Crawling back to Stalin? Didn't you learn not to produce sequels?

No circling out this bout with bullshit retcon copout evils

Defend against me? You have troubles aplenty when Baldy's your enemy!

You're the worst symbol of American purity since John F-ing Kennedy!

Mooching might off manga monkeys and sob story origins from Moses

Everything about you's done to death: even grossly forced necrosis

Wearing underwear inside out, what is this? OP: Toddler Edition?

Presenting “The Death of Superman” - in limited mint condition

Superman:

(Begins at 0:48)

Seems you collectivize rhymes like you do farms, you're hopeless

'Cause the Red Tsar, overtake the Red Son? Keep Dreaming, Iosef.

Things get Gori when Supes is soaring into the story of the Forties

To banish into the Phantom Zone this swine with pigs for his allegory

Commies Kent come close to Clark, I can see through all of you

Thought the Motherland spit cold? Try bars from icy Solitude

Let this Cold War go Solar, frost breath and hot death broke your law

As I beat the worst excuse for leadership the World Warsaw

Winston Churchill:

(Begins at 1:17)

Josef, this feels like déjà vu, you need help from the man who won World War II

You ridiculous dictator, this can't be true, losing to a man with a bigger ego than you?

See he's flaunting his biceps, sporting a quiff with a stupid grin and a cubic chin

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's just super douche at the gym!

You see, Clark, it's a poor decision to fight the nation of rain with your heat vision

And source all your power from the sun, the only one we get here is the softcore porn edition!

I'm a vicious British Bulldog, a guy who's petrified of rocks just causes boredom

I'm dropping this bomb on Metropolis with a blast bigger than the one that saw you an orphan

Batman:

(Begins at 1:47)

Bring dead parents into this? That's Joker gas from this bloated toad

Whose motherland got overthrown by a suffering man in a toga-robe

Fixing winter blitzes; tell me, who’s acting fascist?

Fact is: no powers necessary to tilt this planet’s axis.

So riddle me this, you British shit, what hits big bigots in the tits

Who order militaristic pillages and act villainous to immigrants?

Superstitious and cowardly criminal: the only fear is fear itself.

No service to your verses when it comes to British help

FDR:

(Begins at 2:16)

Whiny Orphan Guy and Tighty Whites in a fight of might? Yikes!

We’ve dropped the bomb twice (now thrice!), while your bat-bomb sucked ice!

From the Harbor to Manhattan, hey now, I’m an all-star

Now watch the 4 term Democrat demolish in just 4 bars:

Assault and battery, frantic vigilantics and cradle-Robin

You belong with the locked-up in Arkham. Son, go back to Gotham!

You can peeka-boohoo about your parents with your Dick and your pooch

What a dynamic duo: you steal my quote, and Supes takes my chair, too!

Wonder Woman:

(Begins at 2:46)

There’s no love lost between us, but there’s lives lost, indeed:

Those four bars paralleled your fourth term: lifeless, deadbeat

Great Hera! Mere mortals and men have had their chance to rhyme.

With speedier delivery than The Flash, this Amazon’s in her Prime.

How can you be truly free when you can’t deal with the Japanese?

Yet you’re critical of Hitler, giving the same treatment to refugees.

Eleanor did more, a League of her own, while you’re committing war crimes

With unity unlimited, a justice indestructible will rise.

Allies:

(Begins at 3:15)

Look who's clashing with the Big Three in star-spangled lingerie!

In the office working desk jobs, the DC 70's Lewinsky!

We’re legends of the textbook, historic badasses and yankees

Your “legendary pictures” ride on us defining the century

So bring on Marvin the Martian and all your Looney Tunes crew

Deal with the news: your team-up's Doomed to be more poo than Scooby-Doo!

DC Trinity:

(Begins at 3:38)

You only “inspired us” because you did your job wrong.

You left Poland to rot, and let Paris get caught,

Then the Harbor got bombed and you finally caught on.

Your incompetence proves it’s always darkest before Dawn.

Wherever tyranny strikes, a child victimized by crime

The Justice League Unites to provide true peace for all time!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

HOPEFULLY IT’S NOT 2 FUCKING MONTHS LATE THIS TIME!



OVERRATED…

RAP BATTLES…

OF UNDETERMINED QUALITY!

OH GOD! THAT TITLE IS ABSURDLY LONG!

BUT NOT AS LONG AS OUR BREAKS!

Season 3 yey

Who World War Won? (Two?) The Allies (Stalin, Churchill, and FDR) The DC Trinity (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman)

Check out more battles from Jude:

Rorschach's Journal
Hi there! Wondering about the red text? Well, it's for me! Fucking Deadpool! Aka Captain The Fucking Deadpool. Or Spider-Man’s Best Pal, who's only getting the ladies sticky. Or Crime’s Worst Nightmare! Or at least, a really weird fever dream induced by too much Nyquil. Cha-ching! Sponsorship! But just call me “duodenum”. Deadpool. Right. So why are we here, asshole? Well, first, up yours too, and, second, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm not, in fact, appearing this season. Oh, what a letdown, what are we even doing? This is just to remind everyone that I've been showing my sexy as hell red fabric body everywhere lately. Including here, where I was awesome! I still fucking love ya though, Ryan. Check out my movie! But anyway, this battle I was in on this rundown website was kick-ass! And, whoever was me did such a great job that he might just be showing his mug HERE! Fair enough. He DID do a Superman sequel first. We’re not talking about that!

Bye! And yeah, you're trash, too, kid.

Disclaimer

 * Special Thanks to Jude, who played Winston Churchill
 * Expect Battle #2 within 2 weeks of this battle, probably. It’s close to finished.
 * Work on #3 has not begun (and currently I’m not sure we know what it is)