User blog:The Bespectacled Guy/Bespec's Rap Battles of History 8: Kurt Cobain VS Eric Clapton

Introduction


In this, my fifth and final battle of 2014, the second battle released in two days and probably my personal favourite of all the ones I've made so far, American grunge icon Kurt Cobain takes on highly-influential English blues-rock guitarist Eric Clapton to determine who's the greater rock star.

Beat
This one. (Courtesy of tunnA Beatz)

The Battle
BESPEC'S RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

KURT COBAIN!

VS

ERIC CLAPTON!

BEGIN!

Eric Clapton:

(Begins at 0:13)

When it comes to the six-string, old Slowhand is on top!

In arenas and studios, I'm the Cream of the crop!

You brought rock back to the mainstream, you've earned some respect, Kurt,

But then again, your legacy's Nickleback and a million t-shirts!

You were an idol for shy twelve-year-old nerds who stood out from the crowd,

But hell, even your drummer's more famous than you now!

And really, all your influences stretch back to me!

Now I'll beat your arse like I did at the Grammys in '93!

Kurt Cobain:

(Begins at 0:39)

Think you're the greatest guitarist, with your second-rate licks?

Man, you make Jon Bon fucking Jovi look like Hendrix.

Rock 'n' roll was reborn when we smashed up the scene!

(sniffs) Smells like the band that defined the 90's

With our dark, brooding, thought-provoking, captivating music!

To every lost, scared adolescent, the effect was therapeutic!

We burst from the underground, representing lower classes,

You found success in making shitty blues-rock for the masses!

But it's the way you think and act that makes my rage Bloom inside,

It's like everything I hated standing right before my eyes!

A racist, womanizing fascist? Who else do you despise?

You'd hardly be a worse person if you'd meant to let your son die!

Eric Clapton:

(Begins at 1:20)

Ooh, shots fired! But I don't mean the one in your head!

The sheriff ain't the only one here that ended up dead!

Yeah, I said shit when I was drunk. You're hardly a perfect person!

You let your missus shoot heroin even while she was pregnant!

And though your music did help emo losers get back to reality,

You abhorred your success, and it ate at your sanity.

So you shunned commercialism but you couldn't lose your fame,

And you despised everything that had brought you that acclaim!

You hated your fans! You hated your wife!

You hated your band! You hated your life!

Stuck singing angsty songs about your parents and Courtney's snatch,

The best thing you ever released was the safety catch!

Kurt Cobain:

(Begins at 2:00)

No Tears In Heaven here, I'm proud of what I achieved!

Though the writing was unorthodox and the style was unique,

The music still reached out and touched the lives of millions!

I burn you so destructively, you might as well be Lithium!

You're the worst Robert Johnson impersonator I've ever heard,

Coming here was your biggest mistake since leaving the Yardbirds!

Your rapping's even weaker than your output since the 60's!

I had a better career in five years than you've had in fifty!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

BESPEC'S (YEAAAAAAAAAAAH) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

Rap Meanings
(Coming soon)

Scrapped Lyrics
Eric Clapton:

I'd let your wife feel my woman tone if she wasn't always coked up!

Originally, this battle was going to be Kurt Cobain VS Eddie Vedder (the singer from Pearl Jam), but I felt Clapton was more recognisable. Some of the lyrics from that battle made it into here (the second half of Clapton's last verse, for example). Kurt's scrapped lyrics included mentions of the Roskilde Festival disaster in 2000, Vedder meeting One Direction, and his ukulele album, while Vedder's lyrics included a half-assed reference to rapping with an "Even Flow" (ba-dum-tish) and being the man who out-sold Kurt with his first release (a dual reference to Pearl Jam's debut album and The Man Who Sold The World).

Next Battle...
If it all goes ahead as planned, I'll essentially be ripping off a recent ERB. If not, I might try something different.

Poll
Who won? Kurt Cobain Eric Clapton