User blog:Hippie Rat/The Joker vs The Comedian

Hey yo hi hello

GUE-

Can't you stop?

NOT THIS TIME! I heard there were some funny DC dudes and I wanted to fuck 'em up!

I don't know if I can sanction that.

Too late, I'm already going further into the blog. See ya there!

Ugh, I gotta go get him. Just..uh...enjoy I guess.



Lyrics
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! The Comedian vs The Joker ! Begin!

The Comedian:

Quite the opener we got tonight. I mean, really, open her? I hardly know her!

Hehehh..let's put on quite the fuckin show, whaddya say, Joker?

The Joker:

Hoo-HOO! Best be ready, Eddie, ain't no stoppin' this,

Smile for the birdy- HAHAHAHAHA! I love an audience!

The Comedian:

I'm the instigator, initiator, impetus, and I'm damn good on the eyes,

You're more a "shoddily thrown together for Comic Con" kind of guy.

I'm an American badass, you're a small-town vandal,

Pale face and green hair? I didn't know Dracula started a YouTube channel.

I'll rip your face off and staple it back on,

When you're done swinging fists at the girl from Lollipop Chainsaw.

You see, where I exist, your yin doesn't, so you don't,

Since the Minutemen, you can't know nor flow...that's no joke.

The Joker:

You know, Mr. Blake, out of all my nerves, you're getting on my last-

HAHAHAHA! But I'll be damned if it wasn't a real gas! HAHAHAH!

Take some creative licensing from Burton to murder Batman's father,

Time-stamp on that god-awful Dawn of Justice, got your slaughter!

'Cause I got no Chill, but won't just leave your body so gory,

Snyder's got you tacked two: you died at the beginning of your own story!

So watch it, man! I'm always on for dropping my death props,

I can lob you off with any object in a practical joke shop!

I got my face on the dollar bills, dollar dollar bills,

Wrap my hands around your neck like the cape that killed Dollar Bill.

Like I'm sure this will GET. YOU. OFF! *shakes Comedian by his neck* We'll do a little roleplay,

I'll be your Vietnamese baby mama and put a scar on that face..

The Comedian:

That was a good joke, I got a better one, here it goes:

A man checks himself in to a doctor, he's all depressed,

"I'm on a losing streak, that damn bat can't be beat," he says,

"My smile feels like fraud." Doc says, "Well there's a funny clown in town."

Dude bawls his eyes out - "But doc, I'm the prince of the clowns."

The Joker:

HAHAHAHA! Ooh, OOH that's a good one! HAHAAAHAHA!

How about the one..where the best enemy of Batman,

Serves the Supernatural dad, Negan and again.

Ashes to ashes...dust..to dust,

Better face up or I'll put this dagger right up your-!

*the beat suddenly changes* *no there is not an actual beat*

What the fuck?

GUESS WHO!

You're fucking joking.

Here's a hint: I'll give you Mexican food and red stools,

No it's not Chipotle. It's..

Announcer:

Deadpool! (Hey, that's me!)

Deadpool:

Thanks for having me, but you don't have anyone better to spit a diss?

I come back from battling the Jason of Spaceballs for this?

'Cause honestly, with my whole ugliness bit,

That's a [Freddy vs Jason] we don't want to see from [this fuck-shit], (Uh, Wade?)

Fuck, were those links? (Dude..) Best get your seat belts on, folks,

I'm gonna show these bozos how to really tell a joke.

Y'all about to get DP'd by DP's fisties,

Bet you can't resist deez and DP's big D, eh DC?

No Disney, too busy making top dollar,

Made a new name for superhero movies when I'm rated R.

'Cause It's the Merc with the Mouth and a merchandising deal,

Find my toys with the X-Men and the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Been out fightin' the baddies while Eddie was tryin' to cop a feel,

Choke a Joker, he ain't seen the day he get away since the Batmobile lost its wheel.

I'm an angel and the devil, but y'all think the pale moonlight give a fuck?

🎶He wants to dance like Neena Thurman🎶 but methinks you're out of luck.

And with my busy schedule and the fact that y'all don't care to me,

I could barely keep track between you and your glaring similarities.

But what I can tell is that both your style stinks,

You're walking heaps of bullsh-



But fuck it, I say whatever the fuck I want,

Hell, I'll fuck up the cunt that wrote this dud.

Hippie Rat:

Alright Wade, you're treading on thin ice there,

You're starting to give me even more white hairs.

Deadpool:

So now you wanna chime in, Mr. Mat4yo Wannabe?

Guess you ARE the cowardly asshole that Joe sees.

Hippie Rat: (and me)

That was a tongue-twist of mediation, I really meant good-

You insulted Asperger's, dude. I didn't mean...ugh, I'd kill you if I could.

Deadpool:

Ha! But you can't! I'm genetically altered, so lay off it,

Deadpool mimicking Hippie Rat:

"Ooh, I'm Brendan, and some of my battles were favorited by Stofferex."

Hippie Rat (also Deadpool) :

You're forgetting the battle at hand- I thought you didn't even like Watchmen.

Well it wasn't bad..anyway that was to give you the spotlight. Tell me how that worked out again.

Hippie Rat:

Look, I'm just a nerd who likes to drop by the wiki since people here would accept me,

Deadpool:

That reminds me, great job losing round one Tourney thirty three to three,

After dropping friends in favor of dropping rhymes,

About KFC, Playboy Magazine, Life is Strange, and R. L. Stine!

Hippie Rat:

Okay, I'm flawed, you're one to talk, all annoying and obnoxious,

Butting in where you're not wanted, even made Tkid nauseous,

Had to throw you in a jail cell and lock it to keep you from talking,

At the beginning of my blogs and causing hell in the comments,

All 'cause Kermit got a word in on Shrek vs Gaben,

Fuck..my blogs are all over the place, man.

Guess that's what I get for being theme-less, anyway, Wade, shut your trap,

Now Deadpool's gonna rap again:

You're not even real. So what does that say about this rap?

Face it, you hate yourself, what you've said, what you've done,

You hate what you are as a person and want fixed up!

Your raps stink, your formats suck, they're factually incorrect,

And actually incoherent, and apparently you made me out to be EXTREMELY ANGRY ABOUT IT!

Hippie Rat:

Okay, I'm going to cut it off there. Thanks for playing along with my Deadpool intro stuff. Hope you liked this "roast myself" ending. Maybe that makes up for the lack of twist ending in Serling vs Stine? Nah? Okay. Anyway, I'll be back soon with Princip vs Oswald. Have a good day guys