User blog:Teddyfail/Emoticons vs Emojis - Epic Fail Battles of History



I think I have reach the ultimate ridiculousness of my series.

Do I need to say more? It's the new face vs old face. Whatever, even the film referenced this. I just want to say it's not really clever to have emotions as elderly. I thought of this the moment I want to do a emoji battle.

Let's start this battle that, just like the movie, no one for real asked for, maybe except [http://epicrapbattlesofhistory.wikia.com/wiki/User:SoothSaiyaman! this guy] wants to see.

And now I'm late. I was supposed to finish this when the film release but I got lazy to finish a joke battle, so I blame the Tourney, and don't question a joke battle

And Nikki's battle also have Emoji Movie in it, it's good, read it, and think about how we have two Emoji Movie battles now, think about our society, think about the human race, think about how we allow a movie about little faces be made, think of how the can two people wrote two thing about it. Then think about how the universe doesn't care about this one movie in a rock floating in space. Oh and also read Nikki's battle. It's funny, did I mention that?

Cast
Emoticons by EpicLLOYD (voice only)

Emojis by Nice Peter (voice only)

(Of course it's voice only. They gonna dress in a giant fucking emoji costume?)

The battle
EPIC FAIL BATTLES OF HISTORY

EMOTI.....cons 

vs

'''Emojis? '''

Ummmm.....begin?

The battle=

Emoticons (0:15):
We're the Emoticons. It's no marathon. Kick your ass in seconds and you're gone

Rocking the internet, phone, email and chatroom before all your asses are even born

You maybe on everyone's messages but you're just a fad, nothing phenomenal

Cause the only impact you have made is turned some fruits and vegetables sexual

You'll be nothing without me. I'm the MC with a Big D.

Despite all the things you add, people still use the same five emoji

More forgettable characters than there are in Game of Thrones

Then confusing everyone just by using different phones

A hand, and a sun? It would take a genius to finally understand

What a horny teen is trying to decipher a sext from his girlfriend

That's all you do. These noseless fucker only use is to flirt

So keep playing your little gun. There's no real shot. You just know how to squirt.

Emojis (1:00):
It's nothing out of the ordinary to get dissed by a bunch of elderly.

You hate the coolest thing? Sure. But we're in the Oxford dictionary

We're the modern hieroglyphics, people will keep studying us for ages

But to know what all your dash and slash means will make all people rage

If your colon is your eyes, then your mouth are just spitting out bullshit

Spit diss on this bitch til your XD spilt, legit.

1144 of us allow all to express yourself with ease

So take out your phone, text emoticons and express yourself with these 🖕😡🖕

Emoticons (1:30):
You may be packing muscles and fists but you are still just yellow

The society's poison, sucking all the attention while none for Kathryn Bigelow

Emojis (1:37):
Who cares about Dunkirk or Detroit when they can laugh their ass off with Gene

The greatest invention in communication, covering your needs on your touchscreen

Emoticons (1:45):
Yes you have everything in existence, from croissant, bread, and baguette, yet

Three of you are being used to help Hillary to ask about student's debt

Emojis (1:52):
You're limited, useless. You can only make so many faces

While we got diversity. We got something for every kind of races

Emoticons (2:00):
Woah, so impressive, you have the flags of different cultures.

But we're the truly inclusive faces. We express emotions without colours

Who would ever need more than one emoji to represent rain

Or nine types of alcohol, five mailboxes or twelve trains

Oh I wasn't finish to diss this worthless tiny pictures of all sorts

Cause it's really important to have each sex for all the different kinds of sports

Sure, an hour and a half long commercial that's fun for the whole family

But in the end, you just mixed Wreck-It Ralph and Inside Out in a Lego Movie copy

Emojis (2:30):
We'll be the biggest yellow thing for kids since there were M&M and Minions

Even Pixar are scared of us. In the box office, we'll be rich, making millions

We got an all star cast. We make Patrick Stewart the shit.

And Emoji is the trendiest thing ever. We definitely got a hit

The theatres will be filled with laughter. People will see us and applaud

And in July 28, we are rocking the theatre with the entire Fam Squad! (Dab!)

This year we have Fifty Shades Darker, so how can this be worse?

So prepare for the launch of the Emoji Movie Cinematic Universe!

Emoji version=

Emoticons (0:15):
We're the Emoticons. It's no marathon. Kick your ass in seconds and you're gone

Rocking the internet, phone, email and chatroom before all your asses are even born

You maybe on everyone's messages but you're just a fad, nothing phenomenal

Cause the only impact you have made is turned some 🍑 and 🥒 sexual

You'll be nothing without me. I'm the MC with a Big D.

Despite all the things you add, people still use the same five emoji

More forgettable characters than there are in Game of Thrones

Then confusing everyone just by using different 📱

A 🤚, and a ☀️? It would take a genius to finally understand

What a horny teen is trying to decipher a sext from his girlfriend

That's all you do. These noseless fucker only use is to flirt

So keep playing your little gun. There's no real shot. You just know how to squirt.

Emojis (1:00):
It's nothing out of the ordinary to get dissed by a bunch of elderly.

You hate the coolest thing? Sure. But we're in the Oxford dictionary

We're the modern hieroglyphics, people will keep studying us for ages

But to know what all your dash and slash means will make all people rage

If your colon is your 👀, then your 👄 are just spitting out bullshit

Spit diss on this bitch til your XD spilt, legit.

1144 of us allow all to express yourself with ease

So take out your 📱, text emoticons and express yourself with these 🖕😡🖕

Emoticons (1:30):
You may be packing 💪 and 👊 but you are still just yellow

The society's poison, sucking all the attention while none for Kathryn Bigelow

Emojis (1:37):
Who cares about Dunkirk or Detroit when they can 😂 their ass off with Gene

The greatest invention in communication, covering your needs on your touchscreen

Emoticons (1:45):
Yes you have everything in existence, from 🥐, 🍞, and 🥖, yet

Three of you are being used to help Hillary to ask about student's debt

Emojis (1:52):
You're limited, useless. You can only make so many faces

While we got diversity. We got something for every kind of 🐎

Emoticons (2:00):
Woah, so impressive, you have the flags of different cultures.

But we're the truly inclusive faces. We express emotions without colours

Who would ever need more than ☝️ emoji to represent 🌧

Or nine types of 🍺, five mailboxes or twelve 🚂

Oh I wasn't finish to diss this worthless tiny pictures of all sorts

Cause it's really important to have each sex for all the different kinds of sports

Sure, an hour and a half long commercial that's fun for the whole family

But in the end, you just mixed Wreck-It Ralph and Inside Out in a Lego 🎥 copy

Emojis (2:30):
We'll be the biggest yellow thing for kids since there were M&M and Minions

Even Pixar are 😱 of us. In the 📦 office, we'll be rich, making millions

We got an all star cast. We make Patrick Stewart the shit.

And Emoji is the trendiest thing ever. We definitely got a hit

The theatres will be filled with laughter. People will see us and applaud

And in July 28, we are rocking the theatre with the entire Fam Squad! (Dab!)

This year we have Fifty Shades Darker, so how can this be worse?

So prepare for the 🚀 of the Emoji Movie Cinematic Universe!

Who won?

Who cares.

You decide.

Epic f---uck this shit I quit

Who cares? Emoticons Emojis No one

Trivia

 * This could be worse. At one point I planned to have Siskel & Ebert to have a review rap of the movie, which just sounds like an even more horrible idea.