User blog:Dark Cyan/CyGIR Rap Battles 11: Porky Minch vs Flowey

Hello, everyone. And welcome to CyGIR Rap Battles! It's time for your monthly dose!

This is a very big battle, with several characters we lone from franchises we love, and we just hop you have as much fun reading as we had wtiting!

This battle pits Porky Minch from the Mother series, against Flowey from Undertale, in a battle of powerful yet sneaky time-manipulating RPG villians

Shoutout to Quagga for even more AWESOME art!

Enjoy!

Beat: Level Up

Porky Minch
(starts at 0:11)

Hey, pansy! Don’t be rubberneckin’ just because you’re unwanted! *Snicker*

None of your enemies remember all those other timelines where you bonded!

You’ve got no family! You’re all alone! That’s nobody’s fault but your own!

What is a Prince to a King? Now grow some knees and kneel before my throne!

Watch me on this mic! I’m gonna blow this popsicle stand!

Spittin’ PK Fires so hot, I’m putting shame to your Hotland!

I wouldn’t even pick you for a flowerpress, and that’s the truth!

But when I get serious you’ll be asking yourself “What did Porky do?!”

Power, money, fame, an army of underlings and sick lyrics; I’ve got the haul!

And your verse is still gonna suck, but that’s certainly not my fault at all!

You’ll get Genocide Path flashbacks of when Chara took your life,

Because cross me, I’ll say something that’ll cut you like a knife.

Flowey
(starts at 0:41)

You know what’s going on here, don’t you? Let’s skip the pleasantries and Howdy’s

Cause you’d revert back to being cowardly from a simple “Hi, I’m Flowey!”

Enlightened Apples don’t seem to fall far from the tree; you’ve lent a lot of data!

This A-Paula-ing lard ball kidnapper’s a beta rapper even when I’m NOT Omega

Golly, isn’t that a shame? No wonder Ness is no longer Your Best Friend

First rule of the Mini Trump hair cut club, chump; No soliciting with Aliens!

I guarantee you’ve NEVER been as empty as me! Having Fun building up your Guts

Honestly, your disposition’s less “I lead a Cult’ and more “I hang with Alphys in the Garbage Dump”

You’re looking Blue, buddy; Awwww what a shame! I like seeing you at your Happy-Happiest!

But don’t you worry! You’re old friend Flowey has a solution that doesn’t involve sappy pacifists;

'Cause neither Frisk nor any Silent Protagonist can prevent me from SAVE-ing over your game; And killing you over, and over, and OVER AND OVER AGAIN! So pray for a savior! But Nobody Came

Porky Minch
(starts at 1:11)

Your lust for LOVE’s out of control! Deflowering children for hanky panky!

But YOU’RE the one who’s gonna go down like your Mother! Spanky, Spanky!

Thorny Loser! You’ve got this whole philosophy, but you still aren’t killin’ it!

HEY MASTER GIYGAS! Come out and show up this not-so-Almighty Idiot!

Flowey
(starts at 1:21)

Now you’re trying to take credit for being the threat to time and space,

In front of the most messed up collection of red sprites since your mom’s face!

I’d usually mock you calling for help in the form of this extra-terrestrial overseer

But bringing out the big guns? Hmm, that’s a wonderful idea!

Giygas
…Asriel….Asriel, Asriel, Asriel, Asriel, Asriel, Asriel…Asriel….

(new beat starts at 0:18)

….Asriel as any final boss gets…horror your demographic…couldn’t grasp

Unlike any sort of SMAAAAAAASH or…Gaster Blast… You can’t comprehend my rap…attacks. Go….b…a….c…k.

I possess global…..spread that surpasses your puny… 15 minutes online

Think I’m jealous of….friendly pellets….and vines? And…..I’m the one who lost his…..mind?

It’s not right…not right….not right. You just RESET…if you want to reach your…goals

Fox can…crop up a….imitation… in Photoshop, but as always…. You still lack…..the SOUL

Yet they compare us….it hurts... it hurts…. More grown adults would fear…..Appy

But I’ve left you crying for….Mommy…and Daddy…. Again.... and I’m…. h…a…p..p..y

Omega Flowey
HYAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA!!!

(starts at 0:58)

This G.O.A.T. cannot fear even the most inexplicable forms of P.S.I

Coming from a being whose weaknesses are prayers and lullabies!

Who needs seven souls when I could take you down with Eight Melodies?

What? Did your stepdad’s betwayal give you everlasting bad memories?

Your cold ambience doesn’t leave me scared, but I’m intense, so beware!

A permanent grin covers my face as I give you Your Best Nightmare!

The true form of your attacks cannot hack my defense! Aargh! I’m hit!...for 1 hp…

Time to attack back with fire and rockets, and put this sad fetus out of it’s misery!

Giygas
(starts at 1:38)

Watching your stolen souls…defeat you of their own ac…cord,

While I don’t have…to do a thing to you…feels…g…o…o…d…

Re…load all you like, but I….hope you don’t mind…spoilers

You are n…o…m…a…t…c…h… for the Universal Cosmic Destroyer!

Omega Flowey
(starts at 1:58)

You really ARE an Almighty Idiot! This Dreemur needs to face encroaching facts;

That there may be a gosh darn good reason his ass resides in the Cave of the Past!

The World is MINE! It’s Game Over for you; so I’ll let you get to the Crying portion!

It’s just a shame that we couldn’t get Maria here to witness this LIVE abortion!

(Suddenly, bones fly out of nowhere and hit both bosses. Due to their sizes, they can’t avoid the barrage. Giygas statics out, leaving behind Porky Minch in his mecha-spider, while Omega Flowey shrinks back down to normal size)



Sans
'''heh. y’know, i always wondered why people don’t use their best diss first. guess it ruins the tension'''

(new beat starts at 0:16)

it’s a beautiful day…… kids like you should be out for exercise

'''but you’ve chosen the path of judgement…….. and now you’re gonna have a bad time'''

‘cause i’m a bone-afide tyrant toddler toppler; don’t cross the line to my domain

step forward pal, and no capsule on this planet could keep you absolutely safe

sans isn’t sans the comic diss raps, in fact, he’s quite the kid-der

but you best echo your last moments, i show no mercy for brother killers (NYEH HEH HEH!)

you have such a man-crush on ness that you made him a museum

built on a world you killed by the hands of those without freedom

'''quit hogging it with your boar-ing army of pig grunts. that’s not farmland!'''

if i was in a less jovial mood, you’ve be dead where you stand

and as for this weed, you’re nothing but a garden variety villain

i could spread you like flora while my spaghetti’s still chillin’

determination-filled frisk rose above this test tube baby

'''i’ll leaf you alone now…just pollen your leg! ups-a-daisy!'''

<font face="comic sans ms">kids, i wield the type of powers that your little minds would get drunk on,

<font face="comic sans ms">but i’m above your crooked morals, so i’ll spare you………



WHO WON? Porky Minch w/ Giygas Flowey/Omega Flowey Sans