User blog:Teddyfail/East vs West translated chinese hong kong version

I try to post this on the thread but it's too long

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

經典饒舌爭霸戰

LAO TZU

老子

SUN TZU

孫子

AndCONFUCIUS

及孔子

VS

決戰

NIETZSCHE

尼采

SOCRATES

蘇格拉底

and VOLTAIRE

及伏儞泰

Begin!

開始！

I’m coming off the Acropolis

我特地來雅典衛城

to start some pandemonium

當個不逞之徒

Don’t bring limp raps

不要帶癱軟的歌詞

to a pimp slap symposium

到這個辨論饗宴會

The mad gadfly

大哥是瘋狂的牛虻

philosophy was my invention

哲學是我的發明！

rolling with the flyest nihilist

與最強的虛無主義者

and me, their French henchman

還有小弟，他們的法國心腹！

We’ve got the wisdom

我們天資聰敏

And the wit

是百龍之智

That even I couldn’t question

連我本人也不能過問

dropping Western medicine

把我們的西藥

on these East infections

擊退感染酵母菌的中國人

It’s evident

這已足夠證明了

You've never been

你們不能

our type of mental brethren

及得過我們心理，弟兄

we're better thinkers

我們是較屌的思想家

better speakers

較屌的演説家

better lovers

較屌的情聖

better men

較屌的人

This type of arrogance

你們這些西洋人當哲學家

is sure to be expected

只是纸上談兵

from men who speak of wisdom

跟本對尊重這兩字

with no clue of what respect is

根本一竅不通

you Westerners are sloppy

你們西方人懶散

needing discipline in life

需要管理你的生命

you lack control of yourselves

你們沒有了控制自我

and of the mic

及麥克風能力

while we use precise strikes

我們掌握時機來攻擊

to disrupt your concentration

打破你們的專注力

hand you an ass whipping

這次打敗你們的戰績

our decedents

一定會

will honor for generations

名留千古

we filled a nation

我們用耐心

with patience

來建立中國 and the presence

令現代

for living

的生活良好

and you’ll never hold a candle

而你們永不能

to the wisdom

超越

we’ve

我們

written

所寫的哲學

Oh, I’ll give you something

噢！我可以令

you can bow and kowtow to

你甘拜下風得叩頭

when I squat down and squeeze out

當我蹲下和拉

a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu

一「道」屎在老子面上

You need to take control

你應該考慮到控制

of the life you’re given

閣下餘下的時間

They call me Uber-mensch

稱大哥為「超人」

cause I’m so driven

因為我高高在上

And I’m a free thinker

小弟是個自由思想家

so confronting conformists like you

對抗墨守成規的你嗎

it’s my job

這是我的工作

got a sharp wit like a spit

我有一個機智敏銳

that’ll skewer you

有很串的歌詞

like a Confu-shish kebab

就像烤羊串燒

You flubbed the mission

你真失敗

I’m beating your submissive ass

你順從就範一世

into submission

也不會被高人重用

Dishing out more disses

反之我祭出了比

than letters and pamphlets and plays

已經出版的信和小書本和戲曲

I’ve been publishing

更諷刺的侮辱

Now that we’ve covered the two

現在，我們已經串了

Yin and Yang twins

小陰和小陽兩兄弟

I can move on to Jackie Chan

我可以攻擊成龍了

Sun Tzu I’ll be picking apart your Wu

孫子，我會用我的神級方法

with my method, man

去粉碎你的吳國，兄台

The seminal general

看來這位小將軍

isn’t so tough on the mic

在饒舌方面不是太過強

All your men must be like

你的士兵也不知所操，曰

Yo what happened?

生何事？

You’re pitiful lyrically

你的歌詞太過差

lucky for history

幸好歷史

You didn’t author the art of rapping

沒有使編寫「孫子饒舌法」

Bitch I wrote the Art of War

婊子！予寫之是兵法，

So you better get your guns out

乃簡直是「泥菩薩過江」！

These white boys getting burned

孫子之歌詞太火辣

Cause guess what

像太陽公公

Now the Sun’s out

出來火燒白人

Asians spitting sick

亞洲人吐出一針見血的侮辱

but no this isn’t SARS

但這非「沙士」

Laozi kick the beat

老子，製造節拍

Now Confucius drop some bars

孔子，進攻他們

Let me be Candide with you Voltaire

孔氏先當「老實人」

French drip with the egg noodle hair

法國蛋散和麵條形的長髮

Your ego’s just so distracting

爾之自我喧賓奪主

free speech doesn’t mean just keep yapping

有言論自由不等於可以廢話

And you killed God so I gotta ask

還有殺死上帝的那個，吾有點疑惑

Did he die of shame

衪未定因造了

when he made your mustache?

閲下之大鬍鬚而去？

You tried to plant a new German psyche

余嘗種植新德國之鬥志

But you just grew hate

但你只得人痛恨

me no Third Reichy

還製造了第三帝國

And it all starts with you

而此全因你，老蘇

you’re the father Socrates

你可是他們的「哲學老爸」

Honestly, I think you owe

説真的，你該

both of your students here an apology

向你兩位徒弟作出道歉

I wouldn’t exactly call myself

我才不會做

a student of this plebe

這個窮鬼的學生

Don’t make Nietzsche come over

別令尼采過來

and put a knee up in your chi

踢你那度「氣」

because I’m

因為我是

N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E

N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E

And I’ll end any mother fucker

我會K.O.這些仆街

like my name in a spelling bee

像我的名字在串字比賽裏

Plebe bitch?

窮鬼？該死，

I’m toxic like a hemlock sip

我像毒参那麼毒

Hang a sandal on the door

你入來我的房間，

cause you can suck Soc’s dick

我邀請你吃「蘇格拉弟弟」

Sacre bleu Socrates

我的天呀，蘇格拉底！

You’re making things a little tense

你太認真了！

Come, let’s blind these Chinese heinies

來，用你的聰明才智

With some shiny bright enlightenment

對付這些中國人！

I’ll not be taught camaraderie

我才不會聽從

From a frog who rigged the lottery

你這些出千的法國人説話！

You make a mockery of ethics

你是哲學界的羞恥

So keep your fat nose in your coffee

你這個大鼻回去喝你的咖啡

Let me be frank

我要向你坦率

Don’t start beef with the Frank

千萬不要和伏儞泰亂來

who hangs with B. Franks

我是富蘭克林的老友

giving ladies beef franks

更常請女士吃我的「香腸」

I have turned them on themselves

我令他們內訌

Their chaos is our opportunity

我們是時候乘勝追擊了

We must remember

要記着

a bowl is most useful when it is empty

埏埴以為器，當其無，有器之用

Laozi I don’t mean no disrespect

唉，老子，我並非不敬

But you need to fill your bowl

但你可否不要說

with some shit that makes some sense

一些毫無關係的廢話

Oh you don’t want to stand

噢！你絕對不會想

in the path of Lao Tzu today

挑戰老子的《道德經》

I’ll make you move bitch

我會嚇你一跳，婊子

get out the way!

所以最好閃開！

Yo, where in the tradition

古語有云

of rap battles is it written

所有饒舌爭霸戰中

that two dudes on the same team

兩個組友

should squabble

不應

like some clucking chickens?

像小學雞般吵架

Man, Confucius

孔子

you always try to put

你經常都要

something in its place

當和事佬

Why don’t you tell your eyebrows

不如你安慰你那古怪的眉毛

they need to fit better on your face

不用那麼難過

Okay, I see

噢，看來你

you wanna make it like that

也想跟我鬥

I’ll smack that war mongering head

我一拳打飛你這個引起戰爭的家伙

out of your to-go box hat

的外賣盒帽子

So here’s the real golden rule

這才是真正的恕道

I’m way above you weak rookies

我永遠都是比你們優秀

Confucius say

子曰：

you can all hold these fortune cookies

爾可拿這幸運曲奇！