User blog:Fametown/Season 5 Rhyme Schemes

Yeah, I made a blog like this before, I wanted to make another one.

Season 5 (counting Deadpool vs Boba Fett) has had some pretty great rhyme schemes so far. ERB have really improved on that.

Boba Fett
But do you guys honestly think that I would screw this feud up And lose to the dude a huge-toothie cootchie chewed up

But do you guys honestly think that I would screw this feud up And lose to the dude a huge toothie cootchie chewed up

That's-bananas! I do damage when I brandish my katanas Man, I'll slice you up then vanish in my lady bug pajamas

That's ba-nanas! I do brandish my katanas Man, I'll slice you up then vanish in my lady bug pajamas

I'm one of a kind; you're a xerox of your papa Doing temp work for Vader and odd-jobs for Jaba

I'm one of a kind; you're a xerox of your papa Doing temp work for Vader and odd jobs for Jabba

I'm tight; you're mad baggy! I'm toned; you're so flappy Mad 'cause Sam Jackson killed your clone daddy Somebody oughta put a bounty on that cape

I'm tight; you're mad-baggy! I'm toned, you're so flappy Mad 'cause Sam-Jackson killed your clone daddy

Somebody' oughta put a bounty on that cape Maybe I'll write a letter and mail it in your face

Boba Fett
Good thing I keep Tums in the Slave 1 'cause your style makes me spacesick And your bars are like your old pal, Cable: fucking basic!

That Dr. Killebrew dude needs to go back to med school 'Cause right now you're no good to me, Deadpool! (It's a simple two-syllable rhyme, but goddamn it's perfect.)

Boba Fett
I only need five lines cuz I look fucking great You look like someone spilled lasagna on your face! (Holy shit! That's a six-syllable rhyme!)

Deadpool
Wrap that arm dart around Jar Jar and go far, far away!

Boba Fett
Now take a lesson from a genuine asassin who's blasting foes! I come equipped with a full set of sick Mandalorian flows!

Everybody knows you got that power of regeneration Now run home and heal from this disintegration

Martin
Brace yourself! Gather up your trolls and your soldier elves And your Ents and your Orcs, and your Wargs and your Stings, Your dwarves and Glamdrings, 'cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring!

And your Ents and your Orcs and your Wargs and your Stings, Your dwarves and Glamdrings, 'cause there's new a literary Lord in the Ring! (That's sexy.)

Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies! (Yeah!) Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies!

There's edgier plots in that David the Gnome!

Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!

Tolkien
Kings, Queens, dragons, dwarves, Horses, fortresses, magic, and swords! (It adds an extra syllable in there but I'll count it.)

Kings, Queens, dragons, dwarves, Horses, fortesses, magic, and swords! You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack! You want a war,-George? Welcome to Shire-raq!

You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack! You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!

(Oh!) We all know the world is full of chance-and-anarchy, So, yes, it's true to life for characters to die randomly, But news flash: the genre's called fantasy! It's meant to be unrealistic, you myopic manatee!

(Oh!) We all know the world is full of chance and anarchy, So yes, it's true to life for characters to die randomly, But news flash: the genre's called fantasy! It's meant to be unrealistic, you myopic manatee! (You saw that one coming.)

Martin
I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats. I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast!

I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these-beats. I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast! You went too deep, Professor Tweed-pants! We don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch!

I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats. I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast! You went too deep, Professor Tweed-pants!

You went too deep, Professor Tweed-pants! We don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch! (Another simple two-syllable rhyme that kicks ass.)

Tolkien
I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme! You LARPed your Santa Claus-ass through Vietnam!

Martin
Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke! My show's the hottest thing on HBO!

Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke! My show's the hottest thing on HBO!

I'm rock and roll; you're a nerdy little nebbish And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!

Even the names of your characters suck: You got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks! I got a second-breakfast for all them goofy fucks! Lift up my gut and tea-Baggins my nuts!

'Even the names of your characters suck: You got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks! I got a second breakfast for them all goofy fucks! Lift up my gut and tea-Baggins my nuts!

Tolkien
Because the backstory of my box office is billions! Got my children making millions off my Silma-rillions!

Because the backstory of my box office is billions Got my children making mill'ions off my Silmarill''ions!

And I'm more rock and roll than you've ever been! Don't believe me? Ask Led Zeppelin!

And I'm more rock and roll than you've ever been! Don't believe me? Ask Led-Zeppelin! You can't reach this fellow! Shit, I'm too Towering! (Ooh!) Every time I battle, it's Return of the King!

You can't reach this fellow! Shit, I'm too Towering! (Ooh!) Every time I battle, it's Return of the king!

Gordon Ramsay
'Cause I'm in the fucking weeds with all these shows to pitch! I keep my ovens preheated and my pilots green-lit!

'Cause I'm in the fucking-weeds with all these shows to pitch! I keep my ovens pre-heated and my pilots green-lit!

I'm rolling in dough like beef wellington from hollering, And I'm shitting on you like I'm whack-flows intolerant!

Julia Child
Oh, isn't that a wonderful thing? A grumpy little chef who thinks-he can bring

E-nough-stuff-to-justify getting rough With the butter loving queen of the Bourguignon-Boeuf! (Hot damn.)

I rock hard as concrete on top of these bomb beats! Been chopping the pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's teats! (Fire.)

I rock-hard as concrete on-top of these bomb beats! Been chopping the pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's' teats!

I rock hard as concrete on top of these bomb beats! Been chopping the pommes frites since you sucked on your mom's teats!

I served America dutifully, and I slice lard beautifully! I reign supreme from shark repellent to charcuterie!

I served America dutifully, and I slice lard beautifully! I reign supreme from shark repellent to charcuterie!

Go on and cross your arms in that B-boy stance! When it comes to haute cuisine, there's one F-word: France! (Also, did anyone else notice that they ended both lines with a letter? "B-boy stance!" and "F-word: France!" Interesting.)

Here's a nice amuse-bouche: take a poor abused youth, Set a thirty-year timer, voila! Huge douche! (R.I.P Gordon Ramsay.)

You're a namby-pamby-candy-ass pansy, Gordon Ramsay! You couldn't rap your way out of a pastry bag, understand me? (Who the hell wrote for Julia Child? I want their autograph.)

You're a namby-pamby-candy-ass-pansy, Gordon Ramsay! You couldn't rap your way out of a pastry bag, understand me?

I laugh and create; you berate and destroy, But fear, my dear boy, is less scrumptious than joy!

I laugh and create, you berate and destroy But fear, my dear boy is less scrumptious than joy!

Gordon Ramsay
I'm glad you got that off your giant, flabby chest! I'd call you a donkey, but you look more like Shrek! When the Iron Man chef busts a rhyme, I'll open up on you like a fine red wine!

When the Iron Man man chef busts a rhyme, I'll open up on you like a fine red wine!

I'm a culinary innovator; you're no creator! Regurgitating French plates like a glorified translator!

I'm a culinary innovator,-you're no creator! Regurgitating French plates like a glorified translator!

I've seen your little show, and it sure ain't pretty! One part Big Bird, two parts Miss Piggy! You can't test me with your fatty recipes! Call your book Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!

I've seen your little show, and it sure ain't pretty! One part Big Bird, two parts Miss-Piggy! You can't test me with your fatty recipes! Call your book Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!

You can't test me with your fatty recipes! Call your book Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!

You can't test me with your fatty recipes! Call your book Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!

You call these rhymes raw? (No, chef!) They're stale and soft! Now, here, take this jacket… Now, give it back and fuck off!

Julia Child
Oh please, your defeat's guaranteed! Concede, I've got this in the bag: sous-vide! (Ha!) Michelin indeed, you've done well for yourself

Oh please, your defeat's guaranteed! Concede, I've got this in the bag: sous-vide! (Ha!) Michelin indeed, you've done well for yourself

(Ha!) Michelin indeed, you've done well for yourself, But as a person, you couldn't get a star on Yelp!

I could freeze a steak with those frosted tips! What's with that bitter taste in every word from your lips? (They don't sound like it rhymes because the difference in flow between the lines, but I'll still count it.)

You scream at women, but the fits that you're pitching Make you the pissiest bitch in-in the-kitchen!

You scream at wo-men, but the fits that you're pitch-ing Make you the pissiest-bitch-in-the-kitch-en!