User blog:Fametown/"Alexander tha Great vs Ivan tha Terrible" (A Gizoogle Translation)

Lyrics
[Note: Ivan tha Terrible is up in brown, Alexander tha Great is up in red , Frederick tha Great is up in dark blue , Catherine tha Great is up in light blue , Pompey tha Great is up in tan , n' additionizzle voices is up in italics.]

Ivan tha Terrible:
Look kickin it, crème de la Kremlinz arriving!

Try ta serve Ivan: no surviving!

Yo ass be a land rover; I be a land expander

Here ta hand you yo' first loss, Alexander son!

I be bout ta school you like Aristotle biaatch!

Smack you harder than you hit dat forty biaatch!

Yo ass aint a god damn thang but a overrated lush; I be bout ta crush ya!

I be tha straight-up original gangsta Tsar of all of Russia!

Yo ass be a asshole wit a anastole biaatch!

I be heaven-sent, divine n' holy hommie!

So don't even try ta approach tha God,

Or you gonna git a big-ass sack like Novgorod dawwwg!

Alexander tha Great:
Yo, fella! Swell diss,

But now you gots tha Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed dawwwg!

Steppin upz foolish as well as useless,

Little Vasilyevich! Let me spell up tha list:

I brought foes ta they knees up in Phoenicia!

Breezed all up in Gaza ta Giza!

Had tha Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq,

And Pakistan up in mah expansion pack,

While you took a dirt nap up in tha middle of a game of chess!

Yo ass gots vodka bars: flavorless!

And what tha fuck I be 'bout ta spit is ghon be tha craziest,

So go fix me a thugged-out drank so I can stay refreshed dawwwg!

Kudos muthafucka! Greek fo' tha glory I got

From ballin every last muthafuckin single war dat I fought playa!

So dis is ghon be straightforward: I be bout ta take up dis sword dat I brought

And slice you up in half like tha Gordian knot playa!

And I be bout ta soar ta tha top

Like tha eagle whose feather I would sport

In tha helmet dat I wore

As I swatted mah nuff enemies; shattered 'em like a porcelain pot,

And they'd be prayin fo' tha torture ta stop,

But I would leave 'em contorted n' they'd be beatboxin n' roaring

Until they vocals cordz was torn up n' blasted playa!

And I would holla "Bucephalus!", hop on mah horsey, n' trot playa!

I win, Ivan; I vanquish! I be a immortal; you not playa!

Ivan tha Terrible:
Enough! (Ugh.) I don't stand a cold-ass lil chizzle against yo' game!

на �.доровье! A drank ta yo' victory hommie! Yes, I will.

It seems no one can defeat mah dirty ass. I weep; itz all so easy as fuck hommie!

(Hoo!) Whatz wrong? I feel a funky-ass bit…queasy.

Ha! You've been poisoned dawwwg! Oh, tha wild-ass bullshit is unbearable biaatch!

I be a gangsta yo, but y'all knew dat n' mah stomachz riddled wit holes! (Ugh.) I be shitty.

Therez no pimped out whoz ass could defeat dis Russian!

Frederick tha Great:
(Psst!) What on some gangbangin' flute-bustin Prussian?

''Oldskool Fritz! Oldskool Fritz! Oldskool Fritz! Oldskool Fritz!''

''Oldskool Fritz! Oldskool Fritz! Oldskool Fritz! Oldskool Fritz!''

I be Frederick tha Great son! Out tha gate, first servant of state biaatch!

Oblique battle tactics ain't exactly straight playa!

Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gots creatizzle talents n' battle malice biaatch!

Hard as steel on tha field, genteel up in tha palace biaatch!

Russiaz fucked up yo, but no wonder why hommie!

With yo' tundras n' taigas n' bears muthafucka! Oh mah hommie!

I would pay a muthafucka ta tear up mah eyes

If I had ta peep yo' troll grill every last muthafuckin night playa!

Now, brang me mah chair son!

I be weary from tearin you a freshly smoked up derrière from here ta Red Square!

Fought a Seven Years' War; I ain't scared of a Tsar

'Cause whoopin you only took me twelve bars!

Ivan tha Terrible:
Oh, what tha fuck a humiliatin defeat playa!

I know when I be beat, so of course, take a seat playa!

I'd keep rippin you ta shredz yo, but I be bout ta take a funky-ass break instead

And just rest mah lil head. Why don't you drop dead, Fred?!

(Hmm.) My fuckin expectations was a shitload higher,

But at least I saved tha rublez on tha garrote wire.

It aint nuthin but another pimped out dizzle n' another pimped out victory

'Cause no pimped out can beat me biaatch! What bout me, Pompey, biatch? Yeah!

[Pompey tha Great is decapitated by Catherine tha Great.]

Catherine tha Great:
Macedonians, Prussians, n' Romans; dem aren't worthy opponents.

It takes a Russian ta take down a Russian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be Cat; I be a cold-ass lil cat; you a rodent playa!

How tha fuck is you tha head of our state when tha state of yo' head was such a wild-ass one?

Such sick shiznit goin all up in yo' dome dat you stuck a spike all up in yo' own son!

(Oooh!) Yo ass is unbalanced like I unbalanced tha European powers wit tha wars I waged dawwwg!

I brought tha Russian empire straight up tha olden minutes n' right tha fuck into tha golden age biaatch!

I be tha boss biiiatch dat you just can't meddle with!

This whole battlez like Alaska 'cause I settled dat shiznit son!

Ivan tha Terrible:
(Mmm.) What a funky-ass dope Biatch ta beat me up in a funky-ass battle.

Accept dis gift, Yo crazy-ass Highness. I hear you trip off tha saddle biaatch!

Catherine tha Great:
That cow rap be a pile of shit,

Though I do keep 'em chompin all up in tha bit,

But you never gonna git it, nyet playa!

Couldn't spin up in mah chamber if dis was Russian roulette biaatch!

I be pickin up where Peta tha Great left off!

Bringin dirty back ta Doggy Den Romanov!

So don't call me Biatch, I be far mo' pimped out playa!

Empress ta Tsar 8, biiiatch! Checkmate biaatch!