User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature 17: Oscar Wilde vs Bram Stoker 2

Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature!

It has been pretty much half a year since I have done an author battle (and over a month since I've done a battle featuring a human) so I think we are all due a return of this series, me especially!

My reading habits have not waned in the slightest since last series, and I'm only all the more eager to get started with this one!

This battle sees the rematch of Oscar Wilde, author of "The Picture of Dorian Gray" and Bram Stoker, author of "Dracula" to see who will win in this rematch between two Victorian horror greats!

Enjoy!

Beat: Blazing Inferno

Oscar Wilde
(starts at 0:22)

It’s the return of the genius, artfully entwining Poems in Prose

This time I do admit that this is an even match between two pros

I must confess! Getting nasty this round sure is tempting

Especially as Bram’s welcome was as gentle as Van Helsing

You’re no Ideal Husband. My heart wrenches in agony,

Over how happier she’d have been with me. Truly a Florentine Tragedy!

I’m Oscar Wilde! Playwright and author! I could have been a great lyricist!

I caught talent like a common cold. A pity you only caught syphilis.

Bram Stoker
(starts at 0:50)

That’s an improvement over last time, now that your views aren’t slanted.

You shouldn’t have taken an easy victory for granted.

I’m about to take you to court like Queensbury

For failing to honor the many horror authors who look up to me!

So ditch the fur coat, dandy, lest it get stained with blood

Your head’s up your own arse, which I bet you fucking love

How can such an unchecked Id have such a massive Ego?

Your plays are so dull I was more entertained by the pre-show

Oscar Wilde
(starts at 1:18)

Do not talk of quality when only one of your books brought you fame!

I’m a writer of true talent, with numerous famous works to my name!

Suffer the Decay of Lying. All that escapes your lips is Derry air

I’m a truly debonair Model Millionaire, so kiss my derrière!

The fact you won over my Woman is of No Importance here

You’re just a Le Fanu wannabe facing the next best thing to Shakespeare!

I’m sweeter than a House of Pomegranates, but spit darker than the blackest night

You’re a faux Allan Poe. Even the Canterville Ghost could give you a fright!

Count Dracula
(starts at 1:46)

I must interrupt. This mere mortal thinks he is god’s gift

I don’t care how smart you think you are. To me, you’re just a blood drip!

None of the characters you’ve created can light a candle to I!

You have angered a Vampire! Keep your doors and windows locked tonight!

To your narcissistic immortal playboy and his portrait, I say begone!

For there is only one true Victorian Gothic Horror icon!

Leave. I’m beginning to tire of this “poetry battle” charade

I’m only letting you leave alive because I don’t want to risk getting AIDS

Poll
WHO WON? Oscar Wilde Bram Stoker w/ Dracula