User blog:RadicalWeavile/Bear Grylls vs Theodore Roosevelt

Nice Peter as Bear Grylls

EpicLloyd as Thedore Roosevelt

Announcer:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

BEAR GRYLLS!

VS

THEODORE ROOSEVELT!!!

BEGIN!

Bear: I'm Bear Grylls, the master of thrills

I survived the heat, the wind, the wet, and the chills

You're Dr. Eggman with a cowboy hat

I climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, beat that!

You were a terrible president who accomplished nothing

Call yourself a teddy? Let me rip out your stuffing

It's going to be a rough ride for you, four eyes

This will show you how a real tough man survives!

Teddy: Don't be so Taft, you messed up Brit

Take a water break with this elephant shit  (Picks up crap upon saying verse and chucks it once ended)

I hang on Rushmore with Abe, Tom, and George

Why don't you eat termites and hide in a gorge?

I'm a Progressive man, strong as a Bull Moose

I'll stick my shotgun right up your caboose

You're a fraud, a phony! Your shows dramatized

This battle will leave you evacuated and traumatized

Bear: You can't even win a race at a Nats baseball game

Well, you won once, but still, that's lame

I traveled to places with conditions un-Bear-able,

while you starred in a movie about a museum that was terrible

I served in the army, I know about war

Who in the hell would bring a pony up an elevator?

At least I'm not a bully, my manners are proper

Watch me fly as I take off in a helicopter!

Teddy: Give it up son, and go to a motel

Or is it against your own rules? Well, well, well!

You can't even pronounce the word "zebra" correctly

Guess who went to presidentcy at only age forty?

There isn't any need to croos your heart, pal

That frown is as long as the Panama Canal

Stop making snow forts and rap, you overgrown child (The camera turns to embarrassed Bear who is making a snow shelter, as he's on a snowy mountain during a blizzard)

This is an Epic Rap Battle, not Man vs Wild!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!

Who won?

Bear Grylls

Theodore Roosevelt