User blog:GorgonzolaSW/Lame Rap Battles of History: Smaug vs Bowser

Hi

This is my third battle

I try to make them better and better but I guess they're still not good, so feel free to leave your opinion in the comments.

Ok so

Battle details
The beat is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shq4RXSHbnQ this.

ANNOUNCER: LAME RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!



VERSUS!



BEGIN!

Bowser: My name is Bowser, man!

I'm a scary dragon

I'm gonna beat you so fast it'll be like I'm holding the B button!

You try to pretend you're hardcore and bad

But you were killed by a mockingbird and a former dad

I'm the main antagonist of my series, you're like a harbinger of Sauron!

I kick the a**es of dinosaurs, you've been awoken and said "war on!"

Drink a cup of coffee, dude; chill off!

You tried to breathe fire but ended up with a cough.

Smaug:

Ha! Your raps are gross and lame, get it!

You want to mess with me? Well, you will regret it

I sleep on gold and diamonds and I ate a whole kingdom!

You rule a bunch of malodorous dinos with down syndrome

You aren't scary, you face looks like a crashed zamboni!

You tried to go out with a girl but she preferred two fat pepperonis!

And your name is Koopa, huh? Okay

Not if I was like some homophobic, but it sounds gay

Bowser:

Ha! Gay puns? Really? Pathetic!

You're dirty, old and withered, I am at least aesthetic!

I spread terror throughout the Mushroom Kingdom because I'm a demon!

Your gold tooth looks like a overgrown lemon

I'll take my Mushroom Bridge and smack it up your face

Then burn some bars, pull out my claws and kill that "dragon" disgrace

And again dude, you're stressed, stop being so uptight

Before I hit you with some hard verse like "SHOWTIME"!

Smaug:

AAAAARGH! YOU MAKE ME ANGRY! TRUST ME, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME NOW!

I'LL BEAT YOU HARDER THAN DID MARIO AND LUIGI WITH THEIR "POW"!

You're wacky and silly, you couldn't even beat Paper Mario!

F*****g up with me is the worst case scenario!

I send more terror to the streets than you and your kids gathered!

Don't you ever try to doubt it; your fate's slathered!

I'm the fearful monster who dines on dwarves drinking wine from goblets and sharpening my horns, then my lair is full of blood and broken bones feeding my dark evil heart made of stones!

Bowser:

C'mon, you were shot from a bow, I'm still alive!

And this is the next battle of Esgaroth you won't even survive!

You're an pissed off prick proud of eating a bunch of gnomes

And these horns on your back are as sharp as bubble foams!

I have kids, you died 1000 years a virgin!

And your ugly face would kill any plastic surgeon

Now excuse me, I've got my own things to do

Koopa my balls, Smaug. I dare you.

Smaug:

Nice try, but you still suck. You look like a skin for Fortnite

You're like a Goomba to me, I'll eat you with one bite

Take your mushrooms and your club rooms out of my prestige hiding place

Or I'll breathe harsh burns out of my mouth on your wonky-tonky face

My skin's rough, my spikes' sharp, I am a charmer

They're harder than any iron or steel or whatever armor

I won't tell this once again, because I said it twice

But get finally the hell outta here or you'll pay deadly price

WHO WON? Smaug Bowser

YOU DECIDE!

LAME RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!