User blog:Iamthelegion/Grand Theft Auto V vs Sleeping Dogs

ohai Mark

this battle is probably being released slightly earlier than it should be but shhh

In the series premiere of GAME ON! Rap Battles, we have Trevor Philips of Grand Theft Auto V against Wei Shen of Sleeping Dogs, to see which organised crime leader is a better psychopathic badass, and we have Trevor who vehemently hates betrayal against Wei Shen, who betrayed his gang.

Thanks to Icey for guessing this battle even if I had to spoil Wei Shen but lol

Hints explained: Sans hint: Sans did a pun on mafia, saying it was organised similarly, which was a hint to an organised crime battle. The fists were an American flag fist and a Chinese flag fist, and as Hong Kong is now owned by China after 100 years of English ownership, Wei is Chinese, and Trevor is American. It's trying to be kinda obvious without being too obvious but failing altogether at life.

Vincent Otake as  Wei Shen in his starting flat

Me as  Trevor Philips outside his trailer

The Battle:








LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Wei Shen:

Your stripper poles are gonna turn Red, po kai

As I Chu you out, right before I poke out your Dogeyes!

You're like Ratfaced Johnny, because you'll break easy

I can tell by how you freed your screwed up torturee!

Leave you choking on gasoline, this time you'll be smoking

As your basic-ass 'do melts and mars this heroine!

You're a drugged up punk with no sense of prudence

Don't you have to be a Saint for Michael to be a Judas?

Trevor Philips:

Don't fuck with me, or you'll end up the Lost!

You've got to have a Death Wish to piss Mr Philips off!

From heists to gun-running, I've got the Monopoly!

Leave you more holey than hipsters dealt with properly!

You winning's a big Stretch, just ask Lamar!

Dude, you really like holding the wheel of Duke's car!

Listen to Raymond! Learn some sense and don't do this!

You were given all they had and you still were a Judas!

Wei Shen:

I came to collect debts, but it seems you need paying out

They say let Sleeping Dogs lie, but you're in the doghouse!

Your game's GTA and it tries so hard to stop you stealing cars!

Not even the 18K would take inverting names that far!

Be racking up more bars than even you could muster in sales

You must be as dull as Pendrew to try drive me off the rails!

I'll go hammer like on Mr Tong, drive your car off the dock

Put down Franklin's bitch and leave Michael in the 18K chop shop!

Trevor Philips:

What the fuck was that? Well, you're too fucking trigger happy!

I'll put you in the ground faster than you did with Jackie!

Lester put forth the plan, but I decided to play it simple!

Sure you went around a little but they all left you single!

You'll break easy as your statues, just fucking bring it on!

I'll show you what's up when Trevor Enterprises buys Hong Kong!

This is where the money is, I'm liable to hamstring any pig

You should've stayed out of America, you dirty Asian dick!

*Trevor grabs at Wei's throat to strangle him, but is blocked and Wei grapples him*

Wei Shen:

Get your hands off, though that's not your game's forte

I'll tie up this Loose End and use your car for foreplay!

*Wei swings at Trevor, and Trevor dodges to the left*

Trevor Philips:

I see how it is, and it's obvious that you're not very nice

You'll go the Wei ALL Chinese gangsters go - easy over rice0

Outro:


Who won? Wei Shen (Sleeping Dogs) Trevor Philips (GTA V

HINT!