User blog:Hippie Rat/Fanmade Thor Lines (vs Zeus)

I made this a few weeks after Zeus vs Thor came out. Basically after seeing all the scrapped lines in the BTSes I realized just how much material there is. I only had the will to rewrite Thor's verses though but whatever. I used mostly my own references, a few from the BTS, and kept one line from the official battle just because it's my favorite Thor line. Hope you enjoy :)

Verse One
How adorable the Oracle couldn't hypothesize,

That the superior deity would rise,

Above a guy who's delusive to omnipotent force,

Because I don't get nice, I get Norse. (Noirse!)

I'm the giant hammer that takes down the mighty oak,

I be riding Rainbow Road since before the Mario Bros.

You bed the ladies in the land of homosexual intercourse,

Catching thunderclap, you're lucky Hera couldn't divorce.

I'm a past and modern Marvel, you're merely Percy Jackson's uncle,

I'm an Iron Man, from my fist to my megingjörð buckle.

Playtime's finished, son of Cronus, leave a million pieces packing,

You fucked up, Zeus, you done released the Kraken!

Verse Two
I'm the namesake of a weekday, speed up Apollo, you'll pray,

Because when this is over, you're gonna Thank Odin it's Friday.

I got millions of Tumblr girls bowing down to me and Loki,

You got the legacy of an Animal House toga party.

You birthed Athena through your cortex and it's making MY head spin,

While I flyte with my head as with Huginn and Muninn.

I'm a great, mighty soldier, and you can call me Caesar,

Because I'll be the mothafucka that kicks you all the way to Jupiter.

Verse Three
This weak, old geezer prospering is Greek to me,

If you whip your floppy bolt out, I don't want you Mjölnir me.

I'm taking over, and I'll smite you like an ogre,

And now you can sign over the rights to rename my fists Law and Order.