Talk:Epic Rap Battles of History 58/@comment-26947829-20150901024040/@comment-5872292-20150901154949

HOLD YOUR PEACE DAWG DOCTOR LOVE* IN THE OFFICE

Alright. First things first, are you at the very least acquainted with this qt? Because unless she's already got a crush on you, you have the body of Adonis, the face of Christian Bale and/or the deep bank account of Michael "MOTHERFUCKING MONEY" Bay, your chances are about 43-62% percent (rough estimate don't take my word these are the words of a loner) down since a total stranger asking you out is wat ew literally who.ru

also as CW said check for her current relationships this is very improtent ok ok :) :)

THOSE SAID, you CAN ask her out even if you JUST MET HER by using this ONE SIMPLE TRICK (totes not advertisment for a penis enhancer guis) which is: Having a GODDAMNED TON of CONFIDENCE.

I understand your frustation. Asking someone out is a hard-ass thing to do, yes, but being nervous ain't gon cut it brah. It's okay to, though, just don't show it to HER. This is where the aforementioned CONFIDENCE comes in. Act like you've done this tons of times before but DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG flexing muscles and all cause I doubt you have them you nerd jk ok just do it casually don't go all sweaty and shit yuck

So walk, run, skedaddle, segway, whatever your way up to her and do a talking. (make sure she's not talking to her friends, watching a movie at a theater or presenting a speech for the student council before you do tho, things get awkward) After a banter or two, casually bring up "ah hey that um homecoming thing you goin gurl?" then if she says yes ask who's she's going with. if it's a guy WATCH YOUR FOOTING THAT MIGHT BE ANOTHER MAN'S WOMAN YOU'RE TALKING TO WOW ROOD (guy "friends" are also sketchy business. by all means ask her out if this is the case, but be careful for reasons unknown. something'll be just...off.)

If she's going with her girl crew, everything's clear for landing my brother. go all like, "i was thinking of going with you actually blah blah blah". If she says she's going alone, HELL YES CAPITALIZE ON THAT TAKE IT TO THE BANK LIKE A CHECK AND SIGN IT AND HER WITH YOUR NUTS (don't do this [signing her with your nuts i mean]) and go "really? why don't you come with me instead, I'm jesus that'll be more fun than going alone yes??"

If she says "no, i'm not going," ask her why as if you're genuinely curious and surpriesd. if all goes well, you'll persuade her by saying "it's going to be fun, i'm gonna be there and i was thinking of going with you so hey, why don't we? we can BANG l8r on" (omit this part wow)

And if all goes well, you're five squares right into Feelsgoodville with your newfound qt 3.14 gril! hooray 4 u. If things DOESN'T work out (and it might not, srsly women are hard mentally unlike us physically ;))  then what you gotta do is to 360 walk away from her (of course, after saying "shame, i would've enjoyed your company yadda yadda yadda") and go to your back-up Homecoming crew consisting your bestest of friends. should you meet her at homecoming with your wolfpack, greet her and do some talking about the stuff around you and shiz like romance movies + flirt a tiny small bit. if it's anything like movies, you'd probably have good luck in securing at least one dance with her which might end up with either you showing her what a good time is or her running away like she just met the Tank from L4D.

All in all, if you're confident enough and Lady Luck and her army of Leprechauns are smiling at you, she'll be in your arms like you're King Kong and she's that blonde bombshell-y girl I forgot the name of. Remember this tho: her saying no is not the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) and that homecoming dance might actually be more fun with people you actually know. Either way, asking her out, whether the result is positive or negative, will provide you with the experience to try and pull other women some other time.

And like Mom's Spaghetti, you've got only one shot at this because any repeated attempts at asking her to homecoming before homecoming might rub her off as being desperate. no pressure tho lad, you're as nervous as is i'm sure :))))

And thus I finish this comment that's clogging up the page with a quote I forgot whom from: "You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Didn't Take," which basically means JUST DO IT AND SHIA SHALL LEND YOU STRENGTH BRETHEREN. Don't forget that we are here cheering for you, and I wish you the best of luck. Go git 'er, cowboy.

'' *I am not actually a Doctor in Love, as I flunked that PhD class along with French and Mechanics 101 back in Kindergarten. Take these advices with a grain of salt as they are said by someone who's unlucky in love but has a big mouth on romance. FlareBlitz47 is not resposible for any broken hearts nor will he pay for damages on your feels should none of his guidelines work. ''