User blog:TP87/TP reviews ERB Episode 5: Artists vs TMNT

HI guys and welcome to the 5th (yay) episode of TP reviews ERB! Due to Icey's request, I'll review the season 3 finale, Artists vs TMNT. So, as the Announcer says: BEGIN!

Characters and Connection
On one side,we have the TMNT: Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello (NicePeter & EpicLloyd). On the other side, we have the Rinascimental Artists whose names are shared with the TMNT: Leonardo Da Vinci (Link Neal), Donatello di Niccolò (Rhett McLaughlin), Raffaello Sanzio (Anthony Padilla) and Michelangelo Buonarroti (Ian Hecox)

Connection: Their names

Artists:
Cowabunga, dude, so let's get it on

Reptiles against the fathers of the Renaissance

We got the classical technique

To kick these three toed freaks back under the street (Ooh)

I take a turtle and I turn him into mincemeat

You don't really wanna step to da Vinci

I love the ladies, I like to keep it mellow

So let me pass the mic to my man, Donatello

Hard shell, but you're gross in the middle

Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six foot chisel

Born in goop, raised in poop

I slice through a group of ninjas like fruit, oops.

(Yo) Raphael, and I came to flow

Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned til I croaked

I'm an emcee Shredder but I get the feeling

<span abp="728" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I should pass it up to my man on the ceiling

<span abp="730" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0); font-size: 14px;">(Ohhh) Michelangelo, and I'm a giant,

<span abp="732" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">I made David, but I'll slay you like Goliath

<span abp="734" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">I'm a rap God and you can't quite touch me

<span abp="737" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">This battle's your Last Judgement, trust me!

We drop science! We got the mathematics!

The architects of rebirth are rap addicts

You beat the Foot, but it won't go well

<span abp="743" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">When you catch an Italian boot to the half shell!

(Leonardo's verse has no praticular disses, aside from the "mincemet" and "ladies" one. I really liked it because of Link's flow and Donatello's dancing. Donatello's verse is kinda more consistent from the raps POV, especially for the "fruit ninja" line and the "hard shell" one. Raphael's verse, although short, is probably my favourite verse in all of ERB so far, mostly because of its awesome flow and the second line. Michelangelo manages to keep up the great flow but is more on the bragging side, mostly the 3rd and last line. Nothing to say on the last 4 verses, aside from the nice synching.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
<span abp="751" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255); font-size: 14px;">The wisdom of our master, (Splinter)

<span abp="754" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">Taught us not to rush to violence,  (Master Splinter)

<span abp="757" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">But our master,  (Master Splinter)

<span abp="759" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">Ain't here, dude! (Hee-yah)

<span abp="761" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I don't think you wanna mess with my katana blades

<span abp="763" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">Get back in your floppy helicopter, fly away

<span abp="765" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">I can bebop and steady rock a mic, sucka!

<span abp="767" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">I'm a pristine Sistine nun chucka!

<span abp="769" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-size: 14px;">Oh hi, I'm a cool but rude guy

<span abp="771" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Put you back in school with the tip of my two sai

<span abp="773" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255); font-size: 14px;">Uh, Dona-tell me who you are again, dude

<span abp="775" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do

<span abp="812" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);"> (Considering that the Turtles had 1 line each in the first 4 lines, they have a total of 3 lines each. Despite this disadvantage, they manage to pull out some good disses. We should note that, like the Artists, Leonardo and Donatello focus on the disses, while Raphael and Michelangelo focus on bragging, which makes them balanced. My favourite one in here were Donatello for the puns he made and Michelangelo for his puns as well) 

<span abp="775" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);"><span abp="815" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);"> We're in the middle of the battle now. The artists are having the upper hand, due to their better flow and more lines. The TMNT are pretty close though

Artists:
<span abp="783" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">That's because you mutants are too immature.

<span abp="785" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">You wouldn't know genius if it pissed in your sewer!

<span abp="787" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">We got the talent, and the minds, <span abp="788" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">and the rhymes so sweet,

<span abp="790" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">We're like your NES game, cause we can't be beat!

<span abp="821" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);"> (Imo, the battle's starting the feel pretty rushed. The only line I liked here was the last one) 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
<span abp="798" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">Yo, go ahead and hate, we'll just skate on by.

<span abp="800" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">You guys draw more dicks than New York pride!

<span abp="802" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">We're the T <span abp="803" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">M <span abp="804" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">N <span abp="805" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">T, drop kicking Italy! (Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!)

<span abp="807" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">Chowing on your tower made of pizza, <span abp="808" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">save a slice for me!

<span abp="808" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">(The TMNT are kinda rushed as well, and it was even harder for me to recognise who was rapping. The video and color code helped me though. The only good line here is the 2nd one)

<span abp="827" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">What I liked and what I didn't like
<span abp="832" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">What I liked: What I didn't like:
 * <span abp="836" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">The beat
 * It's pretty epic
 * The graphics, costumes and make up
 * The rapper's flow
 * Lots of effort, puns and culture
 * Felt kinda rushed and messy in the 2nd part
 * The TMNT deserved more lines
 * Kinda short, although not the shortest battle or finale

The Winner(s)
I gotta give this to the Artists, mostly because of their flow and raps. The TMNT did pretty well though

Lines that made the Artists win:

<span abp="844" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I take a turtle and I turn him into mincemeat

<span abp="845" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><span abp="847" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255); font-size: 14px;">Hard shell, but you're gross in the middle

<span abp="845" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><span abp="849" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">Wouldn't wanna touch you with a six foot chisel

<span abp="845" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><span abp="851" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">Born in goop, raised in poop

<span abp="845" style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><span abp="853" style="color: rgb(128, 0, 255);">I slice through a group of ninjas like fruit, oops.

<span abp="855" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-size: 14px;">(Yo) Raphael, and I came to flow

<span abp="857" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Deemed dope by the Pope and I boned til I croaked

<span abp="859" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I'm an emcee Shredder but I get the feeling

<span abp="861" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">I should pass it up to my man on the ceiling

<span abp="863" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span abp="864" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">This battle's your Last Judgement, trust me!

<span abp="866" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span abp="867" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);"><span abp="868" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">We're like your NES game, cause we can't be beat!

<span abp="888" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span abp="889" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">The end
<span abp="892" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span abp="893" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">Here ends the 5th episode of TP reviews ERB. Feel free to leave a comment below. See ya in the 6th one :D

<span abp="892" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span abp="893" style="color: rgb(255, 128, 0);">Sorry for the mess with the colours, but IDK how to fix it