User blog:Meatholl/Jesus H. Christ vs Saint Nicholas. Epic Rape Battles of Meatholl CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Ho, ho, ho, happy Chanukkah. It's Meathollah hollah here with a Christmas special just because I can, I've been wanting to do this battle for a longggggggggggggggggggggggggg asssssssssssssssssss timeeeeeeeeee but I was just too lazy to do it, then I was just like ye and I made it in like an hour so uhm, yay. This battle is between the holy son of god, Meat- I mean JESUS H. MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST, and the holiday man, the present bringer, the one who eats cookies and milk, Mrpietcapta- I mean Saint Nicholas (who is actually sorta based on Sinterklaas which is a Dutch mofo so 5 points to Gryffindor for that). Anyhow, let's just get started. I hope you enjoy, please give me a comment saying what you thought of this battle, call it your christmas present to me ;D. Here we go!!!

EPIC RAPE BATTLES OF MEATHOLL!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!eleven!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!

SAINT NICHOLAS!!!

VERSUS!!!!

JESUS. H. CHRIST!!!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

Beat, begin at 0:12

Saint Nick :

Kris Kringle is here to Jingle your bells,

Imma kick you back to that barn because this won't end well.

Your mom ain't no Virgin Mary, she a ho ho ho!

She kissed me under the mistletoe and oh I let it snow!

Nowadays during Christmas they think of me every moment,

I bring the cheer every year; delivering presents across oceans.

It just shows, man, it's no longer about the one who's Chosen,

I'm nailing this rap battle, just like with you and the Romans.

Straight from the North Pole, and I'm making you go South,

I wish y'all a goodnight, but YOU can get the fuck out!

'Cause you're a Jew! I've got no presents for you! (SHOO!)

It'll take more than 3 days to recover when Saint Nick is through!

Jesus :

Jesus is taking the wheel and he's gonna steer it,

Turn this creepy old holiday stealer into an unholy Christmas Spirit.

I define the word Holy, now come meet my twelve homies,

You're a product of Coca-Cola you red-suited phony! (HALLELUJAH!)

Makin' yourself feel homely; watching kids like a lurker,

If you could ever beat me I'd call you the miracle worker.

I wear this rap crown like thorns, I've reached divinity,

Kick you, Rudolph and your elves; call it a Trinity.

The King of Bethlehem is going HAM, but I keep it Kosher,

China makes better stuff; your shop should be up for closure.

You matter for 2 days, everybody admires the Messiah,

I turned water into wine, and I turn these lines into fire!

Saint Nick :

I'm breaking you like bread, Father Christmas is ruthless!

Once your disciples see me rap, they'll all be like Judas!

Calling me a lurker, well I tell you what's worse,

All those pedo priests in every single church!

My elves are the gift wrappers, I'm the gifted rapper,

Let's be jolly, I'll burn the book of this folly; my list is much better!

You're in need of a Testament because you got sleighed!

This was painful like a crucifixion, time to lose your fate! (OH!)

Jesus :

I need to die a ton for your sins every year,

Your nose will be redder than the one of your reindeer.

Turn that fat red cheek and don't take the lord's name in vain,

Here's a rap sermon that'll make this old man need a candy cane.

Keep your christmas tree, christmas is all about me!

The son of God ain't no fraud, I'll get rid of this MC like BC!

Keep eatin' those cookies while I walk over you like water,

If you don't like it, you can go and complain to my Father! (AMEN!)

WHO WON?

WHO'S A FAGGOT? (CW IS AS ALWAYS)

YOU DECIDE!!!!

EPIC!

RAPE! (hear angels singing)

BATTLES! (hear elves working)

OF MEATHOLLL!!!!!!!!!!

Who won? Guy named Jesus Sinterklaas