User blog:Bobdave/Noibat vs Woobat. Rap Battles of the Pokédex Season 1

I was going to release this yesterday around midday my time but didn't in case the ERB dropped. Then it didn't and I thought "hrm, maybe I should release it. But wait! What if the ERB drops?". So I waited again. No ERB. Same thing crossed my mind. This process repeated until half past four in the morning and after watching the battle, orgasming, then editing a fuck ton of pages, I slept. Now it's time for the battle to actually be released! Fun!

This is a battle between the 200,000 Hertz-emitting Sound Wave Pokémon, Noibat, against the heart-on-his- sleeve nose, generically-named Bat Pokémon, Woobat. I must mention that Woobat in this battle is being portrayed by the lovely Metal, who did an amazing job with his verses for Woobat. Aight! That's that! Here's the battle!



Noibat
You really wanna tussle, fuzzball? This Cave will be your Terminus

Spit supersonic sounds, but I'm sure you'll still have heard of us

Impervious to earthen chumps and nature ain't a hassle

Psychic pricks get Tackled when you face this bad bat in battle

You can Bite me but that single tooth won't get you very far

I'll be Whirlwinding this Klutz with each Screech of a bar

I'm gonna call upon a horde if you wanna go to war

And leave a heart-shaped mark on the fucking tunnel floor

Woobat
Unlike you, this dark bat rises from his caves

It only Hertz to frequently hear your soundwaves

Call off your herd, you sing worse in every Round

My Heart Stamp’s enough to bury Frisk underground

It’s Simple to see your raps don’t have any Agility

Sucked off my scheme, aren’t you quite fruity

<font color = #acdef6>You must be bat shit to think of winning this Endeavour

<font color = #acdef6>Your berries and dignity were snatched by this Infiltrator

<font color = #d1bad9>Noibat
<font color = #d1bad9>I drop a dizzying din and I’m lethal in a swarm

<font color = #d1bad9>While you’re a pom-pom with wings and a dopey second form

<font color = #d1bad9>You’ll learn a valuable lesson from attacking a Dragon

<font color = #d1bad9>Don’t need Telepathy to see that I broke your heart-pattern

<font color = #acdef6>Woobat
<font color = #acdef6>I’ll Imprison you in rhymes with the potential I reached

<font color = #acdef6>Are you really Psy-shocked to see your Life Leeched?

<font color = #acdef6>I’m not Unaware that this battle’s tides are turned

<font color = #acdef6>Cause the pre form to Noivern just got Noiburned

<font color = #a076d1>Gligar
<font color = #a076d1>It’s time to glide down the rhymes of this rap with my immunity

<font color = #a076d1>To the stupid shit that both of you are flinging like a Bunnelby!

<font color = #a076d1>I’m only Hyper when I cut you, claws as sharp as a Razors

<font color = #a076d1>Create an X just to remind you that you’re about to get scissored

<font color = #a076d1>So let me start off by saying, Noibat should stop foul playing

<font color = #a076d1>Before his HP starts to drop from my kickass Poison Sting

<font color = #a076d1>And no one gets Woo’d by a bat who can’t even cut his crap

<font color = #a076d1>Before getting double-bitch-slapped and shoved off the beaten path

<font color = #a076d1>My defensive maneuvers outmatch these measly bat beasts

<font color = #a076d1>And my critical hits can finish any damn leech

<font color = #a076d1>So here’s my new Sword Dance, I’m the only one with a Stat Boost

<font color = #a076d1>So both of you make a U-Turn and let the Scorpion come roost

<font color = #2f55a4>Zubat
<font color = #2f55a4>Rip-offs in my domain? Get the fuck out of my cave

<font color = #2f55a4>I’m the OG hollow-dweller and expeller of waves

<font color = #2f55a4>Ace rhymes like my body in the daytime: they’re baking

<font color = #2f55a4>No nose and no eyes, but I can sense y’all are quaking

<font color = #2f55a4>You must think you’re all tough, lord of earth and above

<font color = #2f55a4>But if you’re thinking about slinging mud at us, you messed up

<font color = #2f55a4>Unique-type big-ears here, bragging he’s a Dragon

<font color = #2f55a4>With the lowest fucking stats that your species has in the canon

<font color = #2f55a4>I got a freaking noisy gang and our Poison Fang stings

<font color = #2f55a4>You’re nothing but a chubby Tribble, so fly on, Little Wings

<font color = #2f55a4>Repels keep selling cuz my pack keep attacking

<font color = #2f55a4>Leave you like backpacking trainers: blacking out in a cavern!

RAP (the logo is swarmed by loads of smaller logos)

BAT- (the main logo shakes them off)

-TLES OF THE POKÉDEX



Who won? Noibat Woobat Gligar Zubat

HEY, THANKS FOR READING. VERY IMPORTANT NOTE THAT GLIS WAS THE ONE RAPPING FOR GLIGAR. HE ALSO DID AN AMAZING JOB. He also has another series involving Pokémon that I recommend you check the hell out of as well as Metal's stuff :)

Metal doesn't have a Nav so here's his blog page

Hint for the next battle:

Don't you hate it when people always on your back?