User blog:TCalderon/Hello Kitty vs Barbie

So, I was looking through my files and came across this thumbnail for a battle I've been meaning to write, and was like... Let's do it. Hello Kitty vs Barbie. Do I really need to do a sales pitch for this matchup? Nah. Enjoy.

"Weeb Shit vs Anything" will be coming soon, I just need to binge a buncha anime beforehand. For now, I've got a few non-anime battles to get to beforehand to balance out. So.

BARBIE

VS

HELLO KITTY!

BEGIN!

'''Barbie: I’m a Barbie Girl livin’ in a Barbie World,'''

You’re a little pussy cat whose fame just makes me wanna hurl!

I’ll Ruthlessly Handle your execution, take all of your notoriety!

'''You only make one expression, while I’ve a ton of variety! '''

You’re on plushies, purses, backpacks, and even on jewelry?!

Selling that merch for a non-existent franchise is new to me!

'''I won this shit on round one! No need for a tiebreaker,'''

Hate on me all you want; at least I don’t sell vibrators!

Hello Kitty:

Only second to Mickey Mouse when it comes to iconography,

While your source of inspiration is borderline pornography!

All those direct-to-video flicks, and you’re calling ME the sellout?!

One more word from this ho, and I’m about to knock Mattel out!

I’m the golden girl of Japan, the definition of iconic!

Crossing over with brands like Kiss, and even Sonic!

You spark controversy from all those Soccer Mom skeptics

I inspire folks to smile, while you inspire anorexics!

Barbie: 

I may be anorexic, but at least people know that I’m a woman,

Whereas you’re actually not a cat, but instead a furry human?

My Ken’s a much better boyfriend than your Dear Daniel,

Your run can’t last forever; soon you’ll be cancelled!

Hello Kitty:

'''You stole from Jem & the Holograms! Plagiarism is your specialty!'''

And your dried up rhythm ain’t got shit on My Melody!

Please take your claims of being wholesome, and bag it!

At least none of my creators are a crazy sex-addict!

Barbie:

How dare you bring up that scandal, you creepy buffoon!

I’ll beat you till you’re looking uglier than your cartoons!

Hello Kitty:

'''Need I repeat? I’m recognized across the wide world!'''

I may be Kitty White, but YOU’RE rapping like a white girl!

'''Barbie: Bitch, I’m about to smack you right in the kisser!'''

Leaving you more forgotten than your twin sister!

Hello Kitty:

'''Feeling peeved now, Barbara? Well please remember this;'''

Consider me the one pussy who could never be licked!

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

'''YOU DECIDE! ​​​​​'''

Who Won? Hello Kitty Barbie