User blog:ERBofSmoshery/Smash Raps: Agent 47 vs Samus Aran

Hi everyone, ERBofSmoshery here! Today, we have another special guest to rap with us, this time we have Flats as Samus! Thanks for all your work man, and you surely kicked my ass! So, we have the fictional intergalactic bounty hunter from the Metroid series, Samus, rapping against the world's deadliest assassin from the Hitman franchise, Agent 47, in a battle of suited space bounty hunter vs suited earth hitman. Enjoy!

Samus Aran:
Time for my Next Mission - Dissing this drone and leaving his poems wrecked!

Save the name, I'm not a friend of any bald, more boring Boba Fetts!

Think Ellen Ripley meets Iron Man, against the ugly ICA test dummy

To give this monkey a run for his Blood Money worse than the death of his bunny!

You've got a hundred different weapons, the Zero Laser's the only blast I need

To dispose of a nerdy clone, but not just of Assassin's Creed!

Leave a wannabe hero mute in just my Zero Suit, I hear no dispute

I fear no dude whose career is moot, because without me, there's no you

And though he's a fake Bourne, he never got his Retribution

You're a crazy dysfunctional Baby whose Damnation is Absolution!

But regardless, I pioneered the path for this punk, not sure why this loser's hating

The Entrusted One will bust your guns and drop you like your movie ratings!

Agent 47:
From the depths of every shadow I've been hired to smash this Contract

Leaving rust stains on a suit that contrasts yours with an impact!

My style of fighting's silent, leaving the scene to keep it stealthy

But when Bender's involved, I replace a bounty with bullets that make me wealthy!

So retreat, before Daddy's explosive plans become devised!

'Cause you're about to be disordered and most stressfully traumatised!

I'm like a Silent Assassin of Prime, your rapping's clunkier than your suit!

I'll send your ass to development hell, 'cause like your film, you're not gonna shoot!

I'm the perfect hitter, man, to bust you right in the metallic joints

And fire a few thousand rounds straight up in your vital weak points

Until you cluster up and shred your space junk suit back to the eighties!

I'm gonna bowl your Morph Ball back to Zebes! Any objections, Lady?

Samus Aran:
So before accepting your morbid fate, you choose to retort with contorted hate

I'm a reported great - If you died, they'd replace you with an Agent 48!

I've torn you straight, more achievements to my names than you have fathers!

Shooting blaster with the Game Master, making dollars off killing monsters!

You've got a boring healing factor, but you can't regenerate from shame

Nor the pain or the strain of not having a Mother or a Brain!

But with one too many games, it's time to lay your franchise deceased

Decrease the lifespan of Otto's beast and the universe is at peace



Agent 47:
Nice try, not effective, 'cause my pain simply isn't inherent

But it hurts my ears to hear a Mother Brain joke that can backfire against your parents!

Think your attacks beat mine? Solely the lack of programming made you furl!

You're Corrupted and only reliable for being the Queen of the Garbage World!

I'm gonna pay you a visit with the code on my neck, and violate you till you steam

Before I strangle you, choke on my Fiber Wire till no one can hear you scream! Try and face your fight without your suit or skin-tights in your prime!

Because your Zero Suit's just proof that Samus number 68 has died!

Results
The winner is... Agent 47 Samus Aran