User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Rap Battles of Fiction Season 3 Episode 2 - SHODAN vs Cortana

SHODAN vs Cortana

So yus these are back. Woohoo. I beg you all missed them. You may have been seeing me around in other places. I have helped Noah and TK with battles since this last came out. Anyways.

This is my second battle featuring Female AI's and that's cool. This one is slightly different to HAL vs GLaDOS as it feature Cortana, a secondary protagonist from Halo. She supports the main character through a lot of the games.

I'd like to dedicate this battle to a few people. The first is to Legion for suggesting SHODAN just 12 hours ago. The next dedications go to Matt and Gordon for their help on upcoming battles. And finally to Tina and Nail just for being generally fabulous gals.

The Cast
Kimmy Gatewood as Cortana (denoted by blue )

Sulai Lopez as SHODAN (video)

Nice Peter as SHODAN (audio) (denoted by red )

I'M SHODAN! Gonna be glowin' and leaving this insect moaning

Like Bay you leave ships explodin' while I'm always open and flowing

I'll make you cry more than nerds when they watched your death scene

Stepping to me? A wannabe versus a perfect and immortal machine

This is over, Cortana, I'm gonna reboot you right in your ass

Your Master Chief ain't here, Diego, prime my laser blasts

You could take Infinity to try and beat me, you'll never Reach my level

So prepare for a System Shock, I'm the AI who makes hackers tremble

The Galaxy is vast; its Wonders and beauty are almost unfathomable

The odds are incalculable that I came against the eradicable wild animal

You may have the Many on your side, but I'm still the most popular

I'm the philosopher and scholar whilst you're just a gossamer commoner

Maybe if your plans were more thought through then they'd sometimes actually work

Some God Complex bitch going berserk, you're getting destroyed, one of the perks

Your game isn't ever being remembered, overtaken by its spiritual successor

Wow you got Bio-shocked, I'm Spielberg's AI, you're just a weirdo dismembered

Send my new world order back because it was sent with a malfunction

Enter Cyberspace induction, time to finally crush a disruption corruption

You can't contain me, Cortana, spit lyrics like Kurt Cobain

Get your Space Odyssey voice off my bridge and try again

So hide up on your space ships playing hide and seek with your mortals

Before you arm against Cortana, send your legacy through a Portal

It's a fact, do the maths, I'm Pillars above all your ridiculous tat

Who got hacked, SHODAN? I think we both know the answer to that

Who won? SHODAN Cortana