User blog:Laboratory Tuxedo/My ERB Wiki Story

So, a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago, Scraw banged a hooker named Roseanndra. They were fucking each other hard when suddenly, a nuclear powerplant about 6 blocks away from them exploded. While Roseanndra was pissing herself in fear, a radioactive tuxedo flew through the sky and went in her mouth. She being the stupid dumb ho that she was, ate the tux, 9 months later, I popped out. My name was at first, Blowjob McAnalrape. However, the hooker, 1 week later died of anal and vaginal bleeding due to swallowing the minorly radioactive tuxedo. So, Scraw being drunk and high at the same time, took me to my uncle Hawk and my aunt Sierra. They heard the whole story and got high with Scraw and named me Laboratory Tuxedo or Jordan or Elliot. I honestly do not know. So, I was then abducted by KKK members but I killed them all. So, my family took me in and introduced me to my brothers, Lasse, my bro who has always given me support, Fire, my other brother who I may have one time, sucked his dick, Wachow, my nigga brother and some other guys...I am so high right now. Anyways, I grew up to be 10 and I met Pixelette and we hung out a lot. So, I met my other uncle Meat, who was a rapist and a sloth....huh. Also, I met my grandpa Coupe and he was awesome. Anyways, it was a good 14 years which I grew up to found a company and do some other shit. However, I was in a bar when a bartender named Patts walked up to me and said "Dude, are you asleep?" I proceeded to then trip out on acid.

I saw something that changed my life. I saw Roseanndra and she said "Ell, I love you and I want you to make some damn good tuxes and destroy your haters." I stood up and jacked a SUV and went to my house. I went home to see three vandals wreaking it and beating up my cousin RTP. So, I took the 1st vandal named Paro and tore out his spine and shoved it up Tbone, the other vandal's ass, tore off his arm and proceeded to beat another vandal, Lasifer, to death with Tbone's arm. I thought up a idea after killing them all. I should host matches where people fight to the death. So with my cousin, MrAwesome300 and my other cousin/fuck buddy, RTP, we made a show called ERB WIKI DEATHMATCH and we made shitloads of money of it and everything went great for us. Roseanndra lived in peace, Scraw bought a mansion and set Justin Bieber on fire, Lasse went on to make tons of money off a hat bussiness, Fire masturbated to porn for 6 hours before passing out and pissing his pants, Wachow beacame Nigga Freeman's Nigga Posse Leader, RTP had sex with a girl dressed as Pinkie Pie at a convention, MrAwesome became a film critic, Hawk and Sierra beat another couple to death, the whole wiki learned the power of friendship and love, Meat drank with his dead friend, Sloth Pope and got married 2 times, Patts and Coupe became the best of friends and learned to love, Patts with a girl named Utter noob and Coupe with a relative named Loygan and I got engaged to Pixelette and am currently high on pot right now. So, that was how I came to be.

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