Adam

"Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?"

- Adam Adam battled Eve in Epic Rap Battles of History 28 and was played by Lloyd Ahlquist.

Information on the rapper
Adam was the first person ever created on earth in the Bible, and the first man. He lived in the Garden of Eden until God kicked him and Eve out for eating the forbidden apple from the Tree of Knowledge.

Verse 1
My life was fine till you had to come along and wreck it

Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?

You cry about everything but can't decide what you want

"I'm hungry", "I'm fat", "I'm cold", "I'm hot"

You call that complex, but yo I call you a mess

You take two hours to come, three more to get dressed

You got a lotion for this, you got a cream for that

Got me perfume that smells like "Get the fuck off my back!"

Things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming

Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn into a demon

It ain't summer Eve, don't try to play me like a douche

You want a bite of my fruit? Well you can swallow the truth!

Verse 2
I wasn't listening, are you still flapping those lips?

I was just thinking, yo did I give up a rib for this?

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is

All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!

...

I'm sorry.

Verse 3
Alright, nice!

Verse 4
Okay, that's fine, we can eat.