User blog:ERBofSmoshery/Smash Raps: Wheatley vs R.O.B.

Hi everyone! ERBofSmoshery here with a brand new Smash Rap for you to enjoy! Now, we have a special guest with us today, so I'm very glad to introduce, ROA! Thanks for all your work buddy. Anyway, today we have the Robotic Operating Buddy, R.O.B., against the artificial intelligence robot from the Portal franchise, Wheatley, in a battle of the bad robot who turned good vs the good robot who turned bad. Enjoy!

R.O.B.:
So, alone this pinball thinks he can smash out my Wrecking Crew?

I won't blame it, having bad ideas was what it was programmed to!

With all these bombs that I carry, if you step to my Emissary

I'll bury a metallic pussy and tear it on it's own cat cemetery!

I bring pressure to Aperture, diss your fuses till I score

When you mess with power, I end the problem by the Core!

If you keep tampering, I'll Sub-space you out, be glad to have you gone

'Cause when life gives you sour choices, I pick the most explosive one!

Wheatley:
Oh, hey there! I'm Wheatley! Leader of this Robotic race!

I'm here to guide you in this battle before I knock you back to Subspace!

Are you Operating properly? 'Cause all I seem to see are Stack-Ups

Of your back-ups fighting for you whilst this Minister just racks up

All his fear! You're more twisted than your Gyros are, Buddy!

I'm a leader! You're a gift that a kid gets from his mummy!

I see you're used to being controlled, so this battle's not a miss

I'm going to knock out WALL-E's abortion with a neurotoxic diss!

R.O.B.:
Here's the trick, like a Gyro I will twist, give this Brit a trip

You'll be in danger like Rick, as I Robo-Burn your potato chips!

I gave Nintendo fat stacks, stopped a crash, that's a fact

Now I'll smack you flat, back to back, till you are an Ap-Sap!

This poor excuse for technology, with faulty ideology

Will meet it's end eventually, unlike it's own trilogy!

Which is not ironic, when I'm breaking your Chell like it's cyronic

I show my true electronics, while you're just over-Wheatley moronic!

Wheatley:
I work the foundation of stations, now I'm programmed with the right applications

To break out a true declaration of patience before I let loose on this broken creation!

I've ripped away robots bigger than you, and put their heads right in my pocket

And now I'm spitting out bolts and volts that charge right into your eye sockets!

(Ha!) I work on a spaceship and roll in a power-filled anatomy!

You work on a ray tube and roll on four double A batteries!

At least my mind is bright without the help of an LED!

I haven't seen a bigger crash down since 1983!



Results
The winner is... Wheatley R.O.B.