Talk:James Bond vs Austin Powers/@comment-28789095-20160619182124

Here's a fan-made battle I wrote of Indiana Jones vs Laura Croft, if anyone's interested:

Laura Croft

I don't really think that you know what you're doing

By battling me, man, you already blew it

You see your pompous ego, it's through the roof

And I'm gunna crash it down, like I'm conquering tombs

I'm sorry man, you're just not hip, I'll take your S&M whip, and make you my bitch

Have you pitchin' me tents, while I'm climbing up cliffs

See I discover gold and beat down thugs, while you search for skulls and give tugs to Shia Lebouf

You're not tough

In your last movie you looked wrinkly... as... fuck

What the fuck man, you use to be the man

Tight pants, sick stance, suave hair

Now you're just sitting there in your rocking chair

Indiana Jones

I discover artifacts, and the fact of the matter is

I don't really want to battle this tremendous bitch

Whose only claim to fame is her tremendous tits

and how dare you make fun of my tremendous whip

Its usefulness - clearly self-evident

You're a kid, just clowning around, might as well be raiding a lost and fond

I'm the man, a true OG, if you're cave dwelling - you got that shit from me

I decree, you're a waste of space - got about two good ones out of a dozen games

Your shits lame, blame the way you behave, short-shorts and tank-top on the coldest of days

And now to put this rap away and lock it in a case

Go ahead and open it - melted face

Laura Croft

Alright old man, make fun of my tits, while you keep exposing your bald-ass chest

You're a mess, you've regressed since your temple test

I'm modern-age, you're a relic of a prior day

I battle bears and wolves and never take a vacation, exploration is my only vocation

And when a gang with guns is hot on my trail, I hit them with my bow and arrow - then bail

You on the other-hand, I must say, was boring as fuck since you started to run away

And I wouldn't speak much about a melted face - look in the mirror; you're fading away

And I know, enough with the old jokes - too soon - but you're just an old folk - go eat your prunes

Indiana Jones

Is that all you've got? That I'm old?

Well let's make this hot - a rap scold

I'm bold, I'm suave and I know what I'm doing

You're a tomb raiding hussy who's the joke of the party

And don't you, flash that look at me

Your movie failed, even with Jolie

Oh me, oh my, oh why, must I battle such a pointless, irrelevant, dumb-ass dike

I'm going to stop right there, but you better behave

Otherwise you might lose your head - copter blade