Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD/Rap Meanings

EpicLLOYD:
This is one vid, kid, that you won't ever survive!

(Nice Peter, at this point, has been in every single video of Epic Rap Battles of History prior to this one. The character he plays is usually regarded as the victorious party in the battle against the character Lloyd plays, but Lloyd says that here, his winning streak will be over.)

I'll beat you, dislike you, then unsubscribe!

(Lloyd will defeat Peter, and then drop his subscriptions to Peter's YouTube feeds. To "dislike" a video on YouTube means you don't enjoy it, and the number of likes and subscribers usually determines a YouTuber's popularity.)

You'll be good at rapping someday, I promise, bro.

(Peter admitted in the Behind the Scenes for that he can't freestyle like Lloyd can, and that he usually has to write his raps down so that he can make good rhymes. Lloyd taunts him that for now, he won't be a good rapper, and perhaps that someday he'll get better.)

But for now, just stick to editing that gay-ass Monday Show.

(Peter produces his Monday Show for YouTube, in which he blogs about his work and life, then answers fan mail and other questions. Before he uploads them, he usually edits them. Lloyd tells him to stick to that for the moment, as it's all he is best at.)

I'll slaughter your water color unicorns, eat 'em for breakfast.

(Peter loves watercolor drawings, especially unicorns, which are considered to be his mascot. His fans send them by the batch, and he posts them in-studio. Lloyd, however, will destroy and eat them.)

Then leak to YouTube your middle name is Alexis!

(Peter's middle name is Alexis, Lloyd believes that Peter's fans don't know his middle name, and thus Lloyd hopes to embarrass his rival. Peter is ashamed of his middle name, wishing he could change it.)

I can tell you're scared, just from the body language I'm reading.

(Lloyd can see that Peter fears him by the way his body moves.)

'''You should start leaving. Look, your hair line's already retreating!'''

(Lloyd says Peter has no chance and should leave the battle. Peter is balding, though he is still young, so Lloyd says that even his hairline is backing away from him.)

'''Nice Peter? Who's that? No one gives two shits.'''

(Even though Nice Peter quickly rose to fame on YouTube, Lloyd thinks no one actually knows, or even cares about, who Peter is.)

Everyone knows your page is just the place the rap battles live.

(At the time, Peter was hosting ERB on his nicepeter channel; thus Lloyd thinks ERB was the only reason people subscribed to him, since the Epic Rap Battles of History get a lot more views than a regular video Nice Peter makes.)

'''Dude, you're really huge on YouTube. You got a great career.'''

(Lloyd admits he thinks it's impressive for Peter to have so much fame on YouTube, since his channel is currently over 2 million subscribers. Peter has thousands of fans and could continue making videos for some time.)

But remember, you got famous off of my idea!

(It was Lloyd who thought of the original idea for the Epic Rap Battles of History, and he collaborated with Peter. However, Peter's characters have earned him more fame than Lloyd's have earned him.)

Nice Peter:
The battles were your idea to start with, that's no lie,

(Being nice, Peter gives credit where it's due and admits that Lloyd did think of the original idea for ERB, as he just stated.)

But I'm the one who had the brains to let a midget play the bad guys!

(Peter is claiming that he had the idea for Lloyd, who is much shorter than Peter himself, to play on the more evil character on most of the rap battles, with people such as Hitler, Napoleon, and Khan.)

Look at you, or let me just tell you what I see.

(Peter calls attention to Lloyd and tells him how he sees him.)

'''You're a short little sidekick. I'll call you Mini-Me.'''

(Peter plays himself up as the star, with Lloyd as the shorter sidekick to his antics. Being short and bald, Lloyd sort of looks like Dr. Evil's (played by Canadian actor Mike Myers) dwarf sidekick Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies as played by Verne Troyer, a real-life dwarf who is 2'8".)

I drew a mustache on your face, and you played a mean Hitler.

(Lloyd's most famous role in the season was a dead-ringer Hitler in ERB #2.)

Take the mustache away, you look more like Bette Midler!

(Jabbing at Lloyd's appearance yet again, Peter says that without the Hitler mustache, Lloyd resembles Bette Midler, an actress with a similar face type.)

You big-toothed, chompy-face, horse-looking prick.

(Peter attempts much more than rabbit punches here, calling Lloyd an ugly troll.)

You and Bill O'Reilly can both suck my dick!

(Lloyd played Bill O'Reilly in ERB #1, and John Lennon said that O'Reilly sucked George Bush's dick. Here, Nice Peter also turns into his character, Lennon, while he says this.)

Lloyd:
You're taller than I am, but you look up to me.

(Peter is taller than Lloyd, but despite this, Peter normally has to have some help from Lloyd, who he ironically looks up to.)

The guy who got you your first job in comedy!

(Peter's first job in comedy was in the Improv theater that Lloyd runs, Mission IMPROVable, when he was just arriving to Los Angeles years ago. Had it not been for Lloyd taking Peter on, Peter wouldn't have a gig in comedy.)

Peter:
I wrote your best verses for you, let you scream on the chorus!

(Peter offers his retort, saying he was the lyricist who made Lloyd famous. Lloyd normally sings the chorus for Peter's songs, and his parts usually have him yelling.)

You've got as much music talent as Chuck Fucking Norris!

(Peter says Lloyd can't even carry a tune, nor can his character, Chuck Norris, from ERB #3, because Norris is only an actor and martial artist, not a musician. Peter also refers to Chuck's line which he used to start his final verse, "I am Chuck Fucking Norris!")

Lloyd:
'''You, a musician? That's kinda stretching.'''

(Lloyd fires back at Peter's claims that he's the better musician. In fact, he says nothing could be further from the truth.)

You wrote 87 songs with the same chord progression!

(87 of Peter's songs follow a repetitive pattern of chords that demonstrates a lack of musical skill.)

Peter:
'''You look like a thumb. Where'd you even come from?'''

(Lloyd is short and bald, similar to a thumb. He also says Lloyd just sort of came out of nowhere because before the battle, people didn't really know who Lloyd was.)

It's like I'm battle rapping a fat version of Gollum!

(This time, Lloyd is compared to Gollum, the twisted Stoor Hobbit from the "Lord of the Rings" franchise. Gollum is balded, short, and has big feet, so Lloyd would look similar to him, but unlike Gollum, he's pudgy.)

Lloyd:
I'm gonna knock you right outta your little Superman Socks.

("Superman Socks" is one of Pete's songs. Lloyd says he's going to beat Pete so hard, he'll knock him right out of his socks.)

You were nothing before you rode up on KassemG's jock!

(KassemG is a YouTuber who is friends with Peter and Lloyd, and they all work together in Maker Studios. Lloyd says he only got the leading role for ERB because he kissed up to KassemG.)

Peter:
Man, you don't even have to say that kind of shit.

(Pete thinks it was uncalled for Lloyd to say that, and he is hurt...)

Fuck the rap battles and you, I quit!

(...So he decides to quit this battle, and also says he quits ERB in general...until KassemG comes down on his wolf and tells him not to quit, but instead, he should make another season.)