Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin/Rap Meanings

Jacques Cousteau:
Jacques Cousteau, here to spit flow.

Invented SCUBA, captained the Calypso!

(Cousteau and Emile Gagnan designed the first sucessful open-circut scuba (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus) known as the Aqua Lung which people use to go scuba diving. The RV Calypso was Cousteau's research vessel for his oceangraphic research and was converted from a British Royal Navy minesweeper.)

Palme d’Or-winning documenter of the ocean,

(Cousteau won a Palme d'Or award at the 1956 Cannes Film Festival for his underwater documentary film, The Silent World.) 

Ready to battle a desperate, sweaty showman!

(Steve Irwin had an eccentric personality which he maintained when hosting his shows and introducing viewers to animals he found in the wild. He explored different environments and would get sweaty from the heat in some locations. Cousteau attributes Irwin's personality to desperation in keeping his audiences hooked.)

You’re chunky and soft, you get on my nerves!

You're the only manatee I don’t want to conserve!

My Life Aquatic was adventure and beauty,

(Cousteau was the basis for Steve Zissou in the acclaimed Wes Anderson movie The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, played by Bill Murray)

I’m so cool, Bill Murray played me in ze movie

(Cousteau says he has such a high reputation an actor known for his counterculture played a character based upon him)

'''I have Oscars! You’re in Doctor Dolittle 2!'''

(Irwin had a small gag bit in the sequel film, Doctor Dolittle 2, starring Eddie Murphy, where Irwin played himself and had his arm bit off by a crocodile.)

So run back home to your daddy’s zoo!

And just to be clear, ‘cause I’m no veterinarian:

Were you killed by a fish kids pet at ze aquarium?

(Steve Irwin was struck in the heart by a stingray, which eventually led to his death. Stingrays are often found in aquariums where kids are able to touch it alongside other sea creatures such as sea anemone. Cousteau is mocking Irwin for being killed by an animal children usually touch at aquariums without harm.)

Steve Irwin:
Holy smokes, what a place to go!

(Steve reacts in shock at. Due to how respected Steve Irwin is, even EpicLloyd and NicePeter avoided trying to reference his death.)

'''You’d need a submarine for a blow that low! (Awhh!)'''

'''You'd better run! You’d better take cover!'''

(Irwin references the final lyric to the chorus of the Men at Work song "Down Under" and says Cousteau should run away or take cover)

'Cause crikey, I’m going from croc to Jacques hunter!

('Crikey' is a minced oath of 'christ kill me' and is also Irwin's signature catchphrase. Irwin's nickname is "The Crocodile Hunter", but here he says he should rename himself to the "Jacques Hunter", saying he is going to beat Cousteau.)

Have a look at this salty fella:

(Irwin describes Cousteau like he's introducing an animal)

His face looks like it’s made of pure leather!

'''Look out! He’s got the body of a naked mole rat!'''

(Cousteau's body resembles that of naked mole rats, burrowing african rodents which have hairless bodies and wrinkled skin.)

He’s cranky ‘cause he has to wear a Papa Smurf hat!

(Cousteau is well-known for his trademark red beanie.  To Irwin, it resembles the hat worn by Papa Smurf,  the elderly leader of the Smurfs)

I’m a wild man, you’re a subdued sub dude

(Irwin is known for his enthuastic and energetic personality, which contrasts to Cousteau's more relaxed and quiet attitude)

The only crocs you could handle are some slip-on shoes

(Crocs are a type of slip-on footwear)

'''Crikey! You’re such a boring guy,'''

You could make a whole show about the ocean dry!

But with the sheilas you sure had fun

(Cousteau had a long marriage to Simone Melchior whom  he married in 1937 and used to accompany him on his underwater expeditions. They also had two children together. A year after his wife's death, the picture of their perfect marriage was tarnished when Cousteau announced in 1991 that  he had a secret mistress, Francine Triplet, and fathered two children with her. Cousteau later married Triplet.)

Your mistress was as young as your first-born son!

(Continuing from the previous line, Irwin points out the considerably young age of Cousteau's mistress, Francine Triplet, who was 30 years younger than Cousteau. Irwin compares her age to that of Cousteau's first-born son, Jean-Michel, who was born in 1938.)

You never shoulda stepped to the wildlife defender

Now embrace your French nature and quietly surrender

(French people are often stereotyped as being prone to surrendering due to to Nazi Germany during World War II. When the French capital city, Paris, fell to the Nazis during the war, Cousteau took shelter with his family in Megreve, close to the Swiss border and spent the first few years of the war quietly conducting his underwater experiments and explorations before joining the French Resistance movement.)

Jacques Cousteau:
Talk about sons, better watch what you say now

You almost turned yours into Outback Mistake-house!

(Steve Irwin once was feeding a crocodile while holding his month-old son in his hands. This became a controversy as he was called out for performing such a dangerous act. Outback Steakhouse is an Australian-themed restaurant that serves meat such as steak. Jacque makes a pun with it saying that his son almost became food for the crocodile.)

Steve Irwin:
'''Would you rather talk about your brother? Ooh boy'''

'''Nazi! Nazi! Nazi! Oy! Oy! Oy!'''

(Pierre-Antoine Cousteau, Jacques' brother was a leftist until he was drawn to anti-Semitism and anti-democracy  idelogogy and thus, converted to facism. He once went to Nazi Germany in 1936, where his trips helped develop his facism. Irwin also makes a play on the Australian chant, Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oy! Oy! Oy!)

Jacques Cousteau:
Enough of your antics and madness!

Contain yourself, like my underwater breathing apparatus

(SCUBA stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus, Cousteau makes a reference to the scuba as he was the designer of the first successfull and safe open-circuit scuba, known as the Aqua-Lung, at the same time he is saying that Irwin should control himself.)

You’re a joke of a bloke in a tacky khaki romper

Go grope a dope rope, Crocodile Humper!

There’s a type of snail, recently discovered

(Crikey steveirwini is a type of snail that was classified in 2009 and is named after Irwin.)

And named after you — I’ll eat zem with butter!

(Jacque says that he is going to eat the snail named after Irwin as a reference to the French dish escargot, which is snails and is typically eaten with butter.)

Hey Skippy, the bush-league kangaroo

(Cousteau makes reference to the Australian television series, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, which aired from 1968 to 1970 and was centrered on the adventures of a young boy and his pet kangaroo.)

Hold the 'dee', I’m Crocodile Dun with you

(Crocodile Dundee is a 1986 film starring Paul Hogan as the eponymous character. Cousteau is making a joke with the film's title to show he is refusing to continue the battle.)

Steve Irwin:
'''Where ya goin', fella? Hang on a minute'''

Like a joey in a pouch, this ain’t quite finished!

(A joey is a baby kangaroo. Mother kangaroos usually carry their infants in a pouch.)

Take a look how destructive your old films are

'''Silent World? More like Silent Worldstar!'''

If you wanna count fish, please take the reef tour

Don’t go throwin’ C-4 on the sea floor!

I’m the gold medal rhymer on the podium,

Cleanin’ you up like a Jacques Cousteau-dian (Wooo!)

I’m Mother Nature’s greatest conservationist

'''When I rock the mic, I’m danger! Danger! Dangerous!'''

So go back down under with your crew

I just blew through you like a didgeridoo!

(A didgeridoo is an aboriginal, tube-shaped musical instrument, played by blowing air into it.)