Voltaire

"And I’m a freethinker so confronting conformists like you? It’s my job!"

- Voltaire

Voltaire will battle the Eastern Philosophers as part of the Western Philosophers, alongside Socrates and Nietzsche in Philosophers East vs West. He will be portrayed by Zach Sherwin.

Information on the rapper
Voltaire (birth name: François-Marie Arouet) was born on November 21, 1694. He was a French Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher. He was known for his wit and his outspoken advocacy of freedom of religion and expression as well as the separation of church and state. He was openly against monotheistic religion, particularly Judaism, although his most well-known attacks were on the Catholic Church. Voltaire was also an established and versatile writer, having written more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, and writing in many literary forms, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He used satire frequently, criticizing intolerance, religious dogma, and the French institutions of his day, all under the risk of suppression by strict censorship laws.

Lyrics
[Note: Voltaire's lyrics are in this color, while Socrates and Nietzsche are in regular text.]

Verse 1:
I'm coming off the acropolis to start some pandemonium,

Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium.

The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention.

Rolling with the fly-est nihilist, and me, their French henchmen.

We got the wisdom, and the wit,  that even I couldn't question!

Dropping Western medicine, on these East infections!

It's evident you've never been our type of mental bretheren!

We're better, thinkers, better, speakers, better, lovers, better men!

Verse 2:
Boy I’ll give you something you can bow and kautau to,

When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu!

You need to take control of the life you’re given!

Call me Übermensch, 'cause I'm so driven!

And I’m a freethinker so confronting conformists like you? It’s my job!

Got a sharp wit, like a spit that’ll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebob!

(Oh!) You flunked the mission at beating your submissiveness into submission!

Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays that are in publishing!

Now that we’ve covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move onto Jackie Chan.

Sun Tzu, I’ll be picking apart your Wu with my Method, Man!

This seminal general isn’t so tough on the mic, all your men must be like you in heaven!

You’re pitiful lyrically lucky for history you didn’t author the Art of Rapping!

Verse 3:
I wouldn’t exactly call myself a student of this plebe.

Don’t make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi!

'Cause I’m N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E!

And I’ll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee!

Plebe? bitch, I’m toxic like a hemlock sip!

Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc’s dick!

Sacrebleu, Socrates! You’re making things a little tense!

Come, let’s blind these Chinese hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment!

I will not be taught camaraderie from a fraud who rigged the lottery!

You make a mockery of ethics so keep your fat nose in your coffee!

Let me be frank, don’t start beef with B. Frank!

Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks!