User blog:Joeaikman/Joe's Rap Battles of Fiction Season 4 Episode 4 - Edmund Dantés vs Lelouch vi Britannia

 SHOCK HORROR! Joe’s Rap Battles of Fiction is back? But it has been so long, with no sign of an update beyond several discussions on chat about it! I know what you are all thinking. “Joe, if you were going to bring back your series, then maybe you should have done a battle featuring slightly more prominent characters to celebrate.” No. You people can stfu and fuck off. Just kidding. Please stay. I am very lonely :(

 So anyway, let me clear this up for any of you that are unfamiliar with today’s characters. Edmund Dantés, better known by his alias of the Count of Monte Cristo, is a character from a French novel that has gone down in fictional infamy. His opponent is Lelouch Vi Britannia, also known by his aliases of Lelouch Lamperouge and Zero (also Lulu if you are a girl that wants to get into his pants), from Code Geass fame. Yes. I know. Another anime. Anyways, they are battling it out to see who is the better revenge obsessed character that hides behind masks, smoke and mirrors.

 I would like to give a shout out to four people. First off to GravityMan for doing some proofreading. He was as helpful as ever. Secondly to Dark Cyan, also for proofreading. Thirdly, to NightFalcon9004 for helping me get into the mindset of Lelouch, and lastly to Bobdave for being a nice dude.

 A note on the characters featured. The Count of Monte Cristo is in this colour. Lelouch is in this colour. Cameo appearances from Jacopo ( this colour ), Nunally (this colour ), Shirley (this colour ) and Rivalz (this colour ).

Edmund Dantés
I am the Count of Monte Cristo! Don a chapeau and return to your chateaux

When I flow, insanity follows, with vengeance you cannot touch this, though

You miss a move and diss on a groove for whatever I mar-say is the truth

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Marshal up many men to smuggle through a number of ways I can defeat you

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Catch a breath as you hang, about to do the final dangling dance of death

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Lelouch is le loser if he tries to tussle with the revenge seeking French

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">I can reinvent a personality, be it sailor or a Duke visiting from Britain <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(0,0,255);white-space:pre-wrap;">(ha)

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">All you can invent is Zero effectiveness at changing the state of Britannia

Lelouch vi Britannia
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Are you prepared to be killed? No man should kill unless they can say this

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Blow apart Bonaparte, we aren’t dissimilar, coming from empires of racists

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">You aren’t worthy of my Geass! Sheltered from society and grew bitter!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Obsessed with yourself, whilst I aim for a better world for my sister! ( <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(246,178,107);white-space:pre-wrap;">L <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(142,124,195);white-space:pre-wrap;">E <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(204,65,37);white-space:pre-wrap;">L <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(246,178,107);white-space:pre-wrap;">O <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(142,124,195);white-space:pre-wrap;">U <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(204,65,37);white-space:pre-wrap;">C <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(246,178,107);white-space:pre-wrap;">H !)

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">The world was wrong when it thought you gone, because it seems to me

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">That you would scheme by any means to find your way on the winning team

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">I am the King and I lead! Do anything to create a scene!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">When I don the mask I am on fleek! I order you to be beat!

Edmund Dantés
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Checkmate! You played the game, but Dantés’ Inferno has won a fight

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m the Knightmare of any teens, better turn on a Black Knight light

Lelouch vi Britannia
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">I have found a stronger opponent, one who ignores his own hypocrisies

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Wasted your life avenging Mercedes, when you ended up with Haydee

Edmund Dantés
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Deception methods as part of the plan that saw you killed by a friend

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">But this fiend’s end in the requiem saw it a given that his sister would ascend

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Schniezel is vile, Cornelia is evil, what did Euphemia do to deserve your glower?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Yet you dragged her through the mud because you couldn’t control your powers

Lelouch vi Britannia
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Don’t rope me into your failures, you must be busy smoking hemp, or

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">You thought your plots matched mine? These saw me named emperor

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">I ascended to Pen Draconic verses, this player couldn’t beat F.L.E.I.J.A

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Throw you in a dark space; watch you grow madder than your neighbour

Edmund Dantés
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Mao could read your thoughts and tell me that you’re going to try early

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Roll over, kill Clovis, and then cry over your calling for Shirley

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">I defy arrest and death to create a full-on, pure blooded revenge plot

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Diethard caught the next shot; should be reserved for head shots

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">You bend what is rational because you have a desire to be at the centre

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Of attention; a pubescent wretch acting like he was the first Avenger

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m the Nu rapper on the block, First Mate be packing heat, boy

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Gouge out your eyes and see if you win games without your Geass toy

Lelouch vi Britannia
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">If everyone is human then why use their lives for your own amusement,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">I value those who trusted me, you do nothing but abuse them!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">You’re a selfish, self satisfying, smug excuse for a revolutionary,

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">I carry on fighting for justice, no matter what my family do to me!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">You care little for changing the world, or using your life for good

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">If revenge is best served cold then you would chill out your wood

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">I defy tyrants with a brain, you would be doing it with diamonds

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Your completely made up personality, this man is his island

Edmund Dantés
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">Stepped straight out of Narnia, a closeted nob, hobbing with the elite

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">I fight for justice, and your kind, I find are sinners, you are no priest

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">A mystic Light, dressed up posh, and with glow in the dark eyes

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(74,134,232);white-space:pre-wrap;">This boy couldn’t use his Geass to prevent being betrayed by his allies

Lelouch vi Britannia
<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Let’s talk about betrayal, how long did it take your wife to leave you?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Your enemy beat you, and your friends couldn’t plead for you!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">You lost your beloved queen when you played the game

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">Dragged off to jail a traitor, left your father alone to die of shame... <span style="font-size:14.6667px;font-family:Arial;color:rgb(184,0,184);white-space:pre-wrap;">