User blog:Loygansono55/Popeye VS Asterix and Obelix (SUGGESTED BY STOFFEREX)

This entry in my series of rap battles features macho sailor Popeye duking it out with Gaulish warriors and best friends, Asterix and Obelix.

Cast
NicePeter as Popeye

Mary Gutfleisch as Olive Oyl (cameo)

Lloyd Ahlquist as Asterix

Shay Carl as Obelix

Lyrics
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

POPEYE!

VS!

ASTERIX AND OBELIX!

BEGIN!

Popeye

I'm a salty sea captain, and the manliest man around,

I got overly massive guns, and a sweet 'toot toot' sound,

I don't need a can of spinach to kick your Gaulish ass,

You're a scrawny little midget with next to no muscle mass,

I took on Ali Baba's Forty Thieves, and they didn't stand a chance,

I'm known the world over, while you're only big in France,

Time to drop the anchor in your village, and pummel your whole gang,

You ain’t got nothing on me, I'm Popeye the sailor man!

Asterix

You're the classic case of all brawn and no brain,

When I drink my magic potion, I'll be right as rain,

I can beat you with just my smarts without causing a commotion,

I'll use your face to clean the poop deck, then toss you into the ocean,

I may be little, but big things come in small packages (pelvic thrusts),

For example, can you fit in the tightest of passages? (suggestive eyebrow raise )

You call yourself a sailor, but you're dumb enough to get lost at sea,

So just go lube it up with Olive Oyl, and play with your Swee'Pea!

Popeye

A-gah-gah-gah-gah, you call yourself intelligent?

A teeny knife against my rock hard pecs will end with your embarrassment,

Your little winged helmet can't fly you out of this brawl,

I'll put an end to your comic books once and for all,

All your friends and family are just a bunch of savages,

I eat my greens, so I think that you need to eat some cabbages,

I'm the Chuck Norris of cartoons, while you're nothing but a loon,

And that obese friend of yours is nothing but a huge buffoon!

(a new voice is heard)

???

I'll handle him, Asterix!

(the voice is revealed to be Obelix, aas he starts rapping)

Obelix

Quit yammering with that laugh, you sound like an old geezer,

I'll overthrow you in this battle, and call you Julius Caesar,

I'll gouge out your Pop-eyes with my superhuman strength,

You say our swords are small, but they're longer than your dick length,

Challenge two true warriors to a fight if you're mad enough,

I get my power from magic, little green veggies aren't that tough,

By picking a fight with two skilled fighters, it's pretty much a fix,

You'll never forget the day you were owned by Asterix and Obelix!

WHO WON? Popeye Asterix and Obelix