User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS 6: David vs Jack

Hey dudes! MBOHS is back from it's break with my first ever guest rapper ThyNotShallRap. Big shoutout goes to him, and check out this battle I guest rapped in for him: Pioneers vs Natives. Also to Bobdave for proofreading, Legion for chiseling out Jack's first verse, and the blackest Hitler alive for the suggestion. Infamous fighters of giants, Jack (and the Beanstalk) and David (from David vs Goliath). Credit to Leandro for the beautiful cover, now let's get this party started. I missed this.



Locations
David is rapping in from of Dome of the Rock

Jack is rapping from of his farm and beanstalk

Cast
ThyNotShallRap as David

GravityMan as Jack

Beat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhBE7r9PkDs

Starts at 0:12

Battle
=== Jack:  ===  I’m coming down my beanstalk to deliver some goose eggs!

 Don’t try to match wit with the British Erlkonig!

 I’ve heard of you David, they claim you’re from the lineage of God!

 But that’s more unlikely than the fact you wrote the Book of Psalms!

 And you’re a sinful bastard too, getting head from a local whores while,

 Your men are in the swamps feeding your son’s head to crocodiles!

 You’re only famous for beating Goliath but he was already dying from the heat!

 If someone says there’s more to little David, no one will care what you’ve achieved!

 And you claim to worship God, but you know nothing can get by him

 Like when you spent time on your knees for the Wood of Ephraim!

 I’m Jack got a verbal axe, to split this kosher dick straight clean in half,

 With this rap in the bag like it’s full of gold,

 Smoked, this dry dope got rolled. ===''' David: '''===  Mass is just starting, so you're right on time.

 This Jewish king is gonna teach you how to spit a proper rhyme.

 I can chisel out my bars like my name is Michelangelo,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Dropping golden bombs like that goose, you better praise my flow!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> You live in plays and pages, I'm realest to any fable!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Your family couldn't afford to put this beef on the table!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> This little boy will be stomped on by this spade,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I'll spread the blood of an Englishman with a slice of my blade!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> This battle's finish for you will be truly Grimm,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Strolling with that swagger, I’m the icon of Jerusalem!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I kill strongmen in six seconds, while you're busy climbing Vines.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> That salesman must’ve   scammed you into buying phony lines!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I'm the most chiseled warrior you have ever seen,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> My work takes balls, so you can hold these beans! ===''' Jack: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> An icon of Jerusalem? Ha! No wonder you’re in ruin!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> While your daughter Tamar is with your other son screw’n!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> You’re a sunspotted Casa-nova, breaking the seventh Commandment,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Massacred your mistress’s husbands, how could your abused people stand it? ===''' David: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Talk about rape? Ugh, I've seen better manners in Bethlehem,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I’m the father of the prophets, dead drunks fathered you and your brethren! ===''' Jack: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Your flow went outta hand, bitch, just like your love for your religion,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Saul gave you a call and you delivered him two hundred foreskins! ===''' David: '''=== <p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Oh, Fee-fi-fo-fum, your threats are all talk,

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> I ain't taking shit from some kid who gets off on climbing stalks!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Why don't you go back up to that fluffy cloud castle and hide?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops:45.0pt"> Or I'll keep your head up for display, 'cause a hero's ‘bout to die.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE

Poll
Who Won? David Jack

Hint for Next Battle


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