User blog:Joeaikman/Rap Battle of Thrones Book I Chapter VI - Khal Drogo

The camera pans out over a wide expanse of grass. Soon we see dust being thrown into the air from two stampeding armies. The horses move fast, and soon the two armies will meet in the centre of the sea of grass. As they approach, however, they start to slow, eventually coming to a stop metres apart. They spread out so their is a fairly large circle left in the centre, surrounded on all sides by horses. The leaders dismount. On one side is a heavily tattooed warrior, shirtless, stood in front of a silver haired girl of immense beauty, on the other is a snarling King, dressed in fine battle robes and ready for battle. This is it. Here we go...

KHAL DROGO

VS

GENGHIS KHAAAAAAAAAN

BEGIN!

No flow Drogo was opposed by his own beaux's big bro Who tried to use him from Pentos to secure a Throne He never built a dynasty so I cannot crush him like Jin Or the Khwarzamanian, so where should a Borjagin begin I must have mounted the world, hence all my ancestors He mounted a whore who whipped him in her trimesters I slaughtered my half brother cos he got too cocky Killed off by your mistress over Rhaego's dead body

Kis tat vilajero anna ma jin arakh mra akka athdrivar Darif yatholat! kisha tikh vash eyak atchila athdikar Nothing Genghis possesses is meaner than my screamers Defy me in my arena and Drogo rules as a power leader Go down on your horse, stand as a slave on your own feet If your Mongoloid tribesmen oppose the mighty Dothraki I will pull out their throat and crown them all with the gold Of the Mother Mountain, as the Dosh Khaleen has foretold

You wound up on the bottom when your whip started to shrivel After you fell off a horse cos you took a sickle to the nipple You ended up like Snow White, nothing but sleeping and static All your achievements reduced to being a piece for blood magic

My brothers bought Borté and put a baby boy in her belly All you brought was slaughter on your own people, Jengy Smash your empire up into little Fine China pieces And shave off your braids, this King has left you defeated

What a dull affair, so predictable, here comes my stampede Knock Drogo off his high horse, lost at Dothraki Sea Mess with me and I'll unleash the force of my horde That'll cause your horse heart gore to bow at the seashore Largest empire imaginable, climbed the steps to greatness Your measly pillager's lyrics couldn't match to the ancients On point like an Arrow, I've Subo-tied you up in knots And dragged you off to my capital, as an offering to my Gods

You got fucked by every man, now be fucked by my horse Or I'll leave a warlord tending lambs of Lhazar with his horde This isn't Qohor, and the Mongolian conditions are disgraceful Can't think of any buffer hero capable of cleaning your stables You got stopped at Poland, your tactics clearly didn't work When they weren't targeted at farmers, peasants and serfs A tin hat and dresses don't disguise that all you do is snarl And I Bataared a Blacksmith, with the true Wrath of a Khal

Who won? Khal Drogo Genghis Khan