User blog:TKandMit/Rick Grimes vs Buffy Summers. Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains Season 2

It was a dark and rainy night... when TK posted this battle. Not really. Pretty sunny outside, actually.

Anyway, new battle, yeah. The sheriff deputy-turned-zombie killer, Rick Grimes, battles high school cheerleader and vampire slayer, Buffy Summers, in a gory battle of undead murderers. Took a bit longer to write this one due to watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time, which if you haven't, you should definitely close this tab and watch it now because tons of spoilers ahead.

Cast
Nice Peter as Rick Grimes

Michelle Glavan as Buffy Summers

Alex Farnham as ???

Dante Cimadamore as walkers (cameo)

EpicLLOYD as vampires (cameo)

Intro
Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!

Versus!

Begin!

Rick Grimes
Freeze! The at large gym arsonist is under arrest!

You better try to slay me before I take a bite out of your neck!

Buffy the cheerleader, teenager that poses no danger,

Scared when she faces the sheriff that naysays his own mayor.

And reducing Daphne’s Scooby-Doo Gang unmasked!

Why battle me when you can be slashing Dracula’s ass?

You’re an amateur undead killer, wasting time studying.

I'm out here, surviving every night, slicing bloody things!

I’ve been through hell and back, shooting everything that’s evil!

You’re gonna feel pretty stupid when you find out...

You’re fucking with the wrong people.

Buffy Summers
Slashing Dracula’s ass? I’ve already risen to that task.

If you want to battle me, Grimes, than you’re gonna have to axe!

Your moves are slow, you're a doofus who just shoots and goes

To and fro, loses blows to a viewless foe!

You're a cop who slept through the zombie apocalypse,

Who was an optimist, turned insane incompetence,

Brought himself to kill Shane after Lori got monogamous!

Then lost your whole confidence when you went out of consciousness!

Came back a grade A loony, and you lost your whole crew!

The show’s not about you! Every episode is: “Ooh, what is Daryl gonna do?”

You just run and hide, load your gun, but can't put up a fight!

You let them roam around; I destroy everything in sight!

You'll be left for dead and beheaded by the time you've stepped aside.

Don't enter this battle, Rick. You're already dead inside.

Rick Grimes
I'm going for the gold, you're staying at The Bronze

We bring the brains, the burns, but now we've brought the brawns!

You’re lost without Giles, and you gotta hand it to Xander,

When your crush is getting crushed, it's better just to stand there!

And endanger them, whether it’s vampires or Cordelia

I slaughtered cannibals and governors, it’s easy dealing with ya!

Quit that bullshit you’re saying; what’s a bullet to your training?

Are gonna kill me or just bang the creations you’ve been slaying?

How you gonna battle me if you keep getting expelled?

You’re gonna need that cross when I send an Angel down to hell!

You’re lyrics are BS, BS, you couldn’t kill it on a mic,

Just like how you couldn’t kill it when it came to you and Spike.

Buffy Summers
The stakes are raised! Tell your son to stay away!

His dad had better pray before he got it in the brain!

You’re a geek! A freak! You kill more people than walkers!

You’re weak! You reek worse than those decomposing fuckers!

You were forced into your world, I was humanity’s appointed!

Carl might be tough, but he ain’t got shit on the Anointed!

If it makes you shut up, then off with your head!

Impaling your heart, so I can’t Fear the Walking Dead!

Overturned by Heisenberg, but both are things of the past,

With curses and verses that are burning Rick’s ass to Ash!



Ash Williams
Groovy. Yo She-Bitch, let’s go.

This tempo is Terminal, supplier is Housewares’ federal,

You two fancy-pants’ aren’t smart enough to shop at S-Mart,

Both fed up menaces that deadites would easily tear apart!

Talk to the hand, Summers, but I replaced it with a chainsaw!

You two, rapping at each other? You’ll both be Dead By Dawn!

I'm the bomb, wrecked the ever lasting Necronomicon,

Saved a village from a war while you play with pompoms!

Now, a policeman is in prison, isn't this a nice surprise?

How quickly you lost civilization with the misses old demise.

Lost a fight to a guy who lost his eye, saved by a samurai

Demons would eat your soul, so get a boomstick to buy!

Put down the phone, phoney; the loss of family’s turned you lonely.

Send you back to the Stone Age, say hello to my homies!

Trap B in a Magic Box, Barney Fife in a train car, so go crazy!

 * Ash aims his boomstick and shoots vampires and walkers creeping up behind Rick and Buffy*

Hail to the King, baby.

Who won?!

Who's next?



Epic Rap Battles of Heroes and Villains!