Thomas Jefferson

"When it comes to declarations, I'm the first draft pick!"

- Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson battled Frederick Douglass in Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson. He was portrayed by Nice Peter.

Information on the rapper
Thomas Jefferson was born on April 13th, 1743, in Shadwell, Virginia. He was an American Founding Father and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence. He served as the nation's first Secretary of State from 1790-1793, the second Vice President from 1797-1801, and the third President from 1801-1809. Jefferson was an advocate of democracy, republicanism, and individual rights, which motivated American colonists to break from Great Britain and form a new nation. He produced formative documents and decisions at both the state and national level. He died at the age of 83 on July 4th, 1826, at his primary residence of Monticello, in Charlottesville, Virginia.

Verse 1:
When in the course of human events,

It becomes necessary for a battle to commence,

Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my quill!

I'm endowed with certain unalienable skills!

Let me run down my resume, will ya?

Set up a little place called the United States; sound familiar?

I told King George he could eat a fat dick!

When it comes to declarations, I'm the first draft pick!

I'll topple any tyrant, so kings and pirates beware!

I'm so down with revolutions, I invented the swivel chair!

I've many volumes on my shelves, it's true,

But I've yet to read the three books you wrote about YOU!

Looking like a skunk in a three-piece suit,

Didn't come back from Paris to battle Pepé Le Pew!

First Secretary of State, VP number two!

Not to mention third President; the fuck'd you do?

Verse 2:
Aw, Frederick, I never heard a verse I dug less.

Alright, I admit it. I confess!

I participated in a broken system that I hated,

But I needed to keep my financial status situated!

And the words I used were "hideous blot"

To describe the slave trade and the pain it hath brought!

And I fought to stop the trade of new slaves in Virginia

When I ran the whole state and still made it home for dinner!

So forgive me; I was busy, man. I had a lot to do,

But we did it. You're free now, so…we cool?

Trivia

 * Jefferson is the fifth U.S. President to appear in an ERB, after Abe Lincoln, George Washington, John F. Kennedy and Barack Obama.
 * He is the fourth president to rap.
 * He is the fourth president to be portrayed by Nice Peter.
 * This does not count Ronald Reagan's arm, which appeared in Rasputin vs Stalin.
 * As well, Theodore Roosevelt and Franklin D. Roosevelt have appeared in ERB News.