David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini



David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini is the fifty-third installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the eighth episode of Season 4. It features Hungarian-American illusionist and stunt performer, Harry Houdini, rapping against renowned American illusionist, David Copperfield. It was released June 8th, 2015.

Cast
Nice Peter as David Copperfield

EpicLLOYD as Harry Houdini

Josie Ahlquist as Bess Houdini (cameo)

Tony Clark as a police officer (cameo)

Dante Cimadamore as Criss Angel (cameo)

Lauren Francesca as Chloe Gosselin (cameo)

Harry Houdini:
You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini!

Slippery like linguine, sneaking out of teeny weenie,

Little spaces small enough to fit your talent, David!

You're not a challenge, David!

Your biggest endowment's your bank account balances, baby!

So abracadabra, you billowy bitch!

Man, you look like a pirate on a Las Vegas strip!

I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil, you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag!

A batter with patter and matter of fact, you can't match all my skill if you sawed me in half!

David Copperfield:
When I was a child, you were a god to me.

I had to do what you do; now you're like a Chinese wall to me.

Bitch, I'll walk right through you,

This ain't the magic that you're used to.

I float a rose, handsfree, like it's Bluetooth.

My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant,

The foot of lady liberty is stomping on your elephant.

You failed at making movies, and you failed at making kids,

You should stick to what you're good at and lock them lips!

(Ohh!) Here's a tidbit that might drive you nuts,

I bought half of your shit, and I keep it locked up!

Got the slim fingers that were built for sleights,

You're a chunky stuntman; dressed in tights!

You talk shit about your hero; that ain't right!

But you can look up to me now; I know you like heights!

Harry Houdini:
Ah! Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing!

You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!

I'm hanging by my ankles, on a crane I dangle,

I got lox on my bagel that you couldn't handle!

Smash your mirrors leave your flying wires tangle,

And you can't hide shame with a camera angle!

Criss Angel:
Did somebody say Angel?

Harry Houdini:
No.

Criss Angel:
Oh...

David Copperfield:
See what they'd be watching if it wasn't for me?

I remind them why the magic is supposed to make you happy!

While you waste time proving everybody wrong,

I'm backstage getting my supermodel groove on!

You should relax, take a private trip

To my private island; suck my private dick!

(Uh!) I'll summon up a little Halloween brunch:

Deep-fried sucker with a side of punch!

Harry Houdini:
Abrah Cadabra you silly little billowy bitch!

You look like a skinny pirate off the Las Vegas strip!

And that hair are you really for real?

You should change your stage name to David Cockatiel!

You couldn't break your way out of a flash paper bag!

You couldn't match up to my skill if you sawed it in half!

Let me give you something you just don't understand:

You're like a magic Bob Saget and I'm a fucking crazy man!

I'm the daring Hungarian, escaping from cans,

That are smaller than the ones you spray tan in!

I'm hanging in chains off of cranes and things.

You're embarrassing to Magic like The Gathering!

I put my life on the line every time I step in the lime light.

I rhyme right, Magic Mike, you can't even lock down a wife!

You're not a magic man - nope, I'll like a milk can,

And when I smack you in the face it won't be a "sleight of hand"!

Your tragic Bob Saget magic tricks should stick to tv land (Oooh!)

Rhymes are as sharp as the part in my hair (Ahhh!)

Hungarian immigrant hunger; American flair,

Hanging 180 from cranes like a hundred and eighty feet up in the air!

I'm Harry Houdini! Holla if you see me!

Butt naked lock picker and a lyrical genie!

Meanwhile your act's so embarrassing it's staggering,

The whackest thing that's happening in Magic since The Gathering!

It's something you couldn't understand:

You're a cheerful kind of showman;

I'm a fucking crazy man!