User blog:Bobdave/Bastiodon vs Aggron. Rap Battles of the Pokédex Season 1



Hi again, I'm Jude. You know? That one prick who makes the Rap Battles of the Pokédex? Well, here's another installment. This battle is very awesome and sexy and several other positive adjectives and one neutral one because this battle has a special guest. That guy that I ripped the victory from in the tourney <3. Yeah, so we have Tiger in this battle and let me say that he did an amazing job. So, getting on with the battle here, this installment has one of the strangest verse structures I've seen as of yet in a rap battle but I think Tiger and I (or at least Tiger) pulled it off. The first verse is also rapped fast Oh yeah, the contestants! We have the flat-faced Shield Pokémon Bastiodon against the pseudo-legendary Iron Armor Pokémon Aggron in a battle of the well-protected Rock and Steel dinosaur-esque Pokémon. I just noticed there are many double-barreled adjectives in that last sentence. Cool. Battle? What battle?

Beat - Grind or Die by Allrounda Beats

Announcer
RAP BATTLES OF THE POKÉDEX



VS



BEGIN!

Bastiodon:
Bastiodon's an aggravated bastard, aggro Aggron till he's flat in a casket

Prepare your heavy ass for a kicking Rock Smash, get trashed, this battle was a blast while it lasted

I'm Sturdy, you heard me? My Metal Burst murders the firmest bedrock, take my advice and yield

I got more than twice your Special Defense, i.e. you're never going to divide my shield

Aggron:
A fossil's win's preposterous, rap fast but Speed's not plausible

Get this fact through your Iron Head: your victory's impossible

I break shields, make foes yield! You're inferior, clearly

You shoulda kept away like they kept you out the TV series

All you're good for's the defensive, the rest is not impressive

You crack so fast and lack Attack, a slack in the offensive

Beast unleashed from metal, people hit the pedal while they can

Scram, you sham, or get left for dead when Aggron Heavy Slams

Bastiodon:
How 'bout I slow it down for this oafish clown

Smash your Special Defense with Metal Sound, let's see how low my foe is now

Next I'll go to town with my Ancient Power, I'm

Amazed at how a rock-brain could refrain from cowering

I'm Soundproof to your useless raps, I freaking own like Steven Stone

And even though your stats are higher, I'm supreme when it comes to unleashing flow

Revived from the ground, 'bout to pound this disgrace to the type-combo of rock and steel

Why take shit from a guy based on a monster from a film produced by Kim Jong-Il?

Mega Aggron:
Don't give me that bull, Mister Midget Dinosaur Bulldozer

I spit stanzas so cold, it socks Rock and crumbles boulders

Don't enrage me, there's no taming, put your Shieldon and hide

'Cuz when Aggron goes Mega, he'll fuck ya up by a Rock Slide

Bastiodon:
You gotta be stoned to propose that you owned lyrically

Cuz Bastiodon Rocks and he Steels the victory

Mega Aggron:
Rock? You're soft, you fop! Oh, your shit tickles me pink!

Bastiodon's Taken Down, now this fossil is EXTINCT!

Announcer:
WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

RAP (several projectiles ricochet off the logo)

BATTLES OF THE POKÉDEX!



Who won? Bastiodon Aggron