User blog:Iamthelegion/Ash Williams vs Jason Voorhees

haha User blog:Tkid115/Nightwing vs Daredevil. Epic Rap Battles of Comics Volume 1 and User blog:TKandMit/WNTR - Chapter One: A Visit

Thanks to Stoff for the incredible battle cover. It is truly phenomenal.

This was an idea I had a while back, in the midst of my intense loathing of all things Freddy vs Jason, what with me liking the comics and me liking the opposition between the undead man who kills the living with a tool for lumberjacking and the living man who kills the undead with a tool for lumberjacking. Let us see who is truly the greatest horror slasher of all time... with a twist.

NB this is a freestyle battle and thus it wound up a short ass fuck due to me knowing shit all about Ash other than Ash vs Jason vs Freddy and Army of Darkness vs Marvel Zombies.

The Battle:
Ash Williams:

If you're stepping to me you're sure to end up Dead-ite.

This will go down as sloppily as your crossover with Final Fight.

But I'll be rapping Groovy! Got bars like a chainsaw!

And an Army of Darkness like not even hell's saw!

As my raps come out of the nowhere like they're demon possessed!

Keep lugging around your machete, they'll think you're Pyramid Head!

Cross over and you'll get crossed out, look at my publication history!

If I tore Freddy to pieces, then your future is no mystery!

You could compare me to Rick Grimes because you've No Sanctuary.

I'm the kind of man who'd put a mommy's boy back in the cemetery!

And then wreck your face harder than your remake did your mentality!

I I was more scared of Deadpool! Bates should learn some originality!

Jason Voorhees:

*silent*

*Jason walks slowly and menacingly up to Ash, face to face, then Jason tears off his mask*

Norman Bates:

That seems a little harsh, considering I founded this genre.

Before me, all we had was Englishmen and horrid monsters.

I'm the master of suspense, I flow like chocolate syrup.

And my bars are Hitch-cocked to put you out of business.

Known to be a Psycho, there's no two ways about it.

Just like how it's clear your horror niche is overcrowded.

You heeded the Call of Duty, so you think you're the Last of Us?

You haven't even checked in to the Bates Motel yet, cuz.

And how about we look at the past of this ambivalent loon?

After a shower scene of blood, it won't help that you're immune.

You're more murderer than survivor, and it's all outside YOUR head!

I don't think I've ever seen a more false title than "The Evil Dead".

Outro:
LMAO them blog coinky-dinks tho

Who Won? Ash Williams Norman Bates