User blog:Awesomesix/Awesome Rap Battles 7: Joseph Stalin vs Superman

In the ninth re-installment of Awesome Rap Battles, Russian leader Joseph Stalin faces off against DC superhero Superman to see who is the real Man of Steel.

Info
Originally released: April 21, 2014

Characters: Joseph Stalin, Superman

Battle
AWESOME RAP BATTLES!

JOSEPH STALIN!

VERSUS!

SUPERMAN!

BEGIN!

Joseph Stalin:

I am the cruelest villain you will ever meet in your pathetic life,

I’ll crush your ass, Kal-El, then I’ll send you back to the ice,

Last person to step to me, committed suicide during the war,

You're just the Man of Steal; the first superhero money whore,

Little kids look up to you; want to be like you when they grow up,

But in reality, you're just a doodle a geeky freak drew up,

My heart is so cold, Antarctica looks to me for survival,

I'll make you wet your panties like some horror party arrival,

Don't you dare go behind my back, or I'll rip yours in thirds,

To beat me in this war, you'll need more than 2 turns,

I verbally attack whack ass motherfuckers in spandex and tights,

I’ll shoot you down if you come near me, happy flights!

Superman:

I'm an E.T. super being, you're just a disgrace of a leader,

My Axis Power levels exceed those shown on any meter,

Your mustache looks like an alien's, but not from another planet,

You've got as much of a chance beating me at being left handed.

I'll go kamikaze on your ass, like I’m representing for Japan,

I'm going Hitler in this bitch, cause I'm gonna ruin the plans,

I’ve seen rocks that’re bigger threat than this doll ever was,

When they call me “Man of Steel”, they also mean deez nutz,

Come kiss my shiny metal ass, you pathetic female of plastic,

Iron giant in this bitch, stompin' his motherland out drastic,

I'm not afraid of bullets, or anything this gnome releases,

After this battle, Mr. Atheist, your ass will need Jesus.

Joseph Stalin:

You don't scare me, not one bit; you're as threatening as a Nazi,

Go back with your nuclear He-man, before I burn your body,

I'll lock you up like they did to my son, and I won't pay the price,

You should've stayed dead, Mr. Stainless, now I'll take your life,

I rap more concentrated than a little camp for the Jews,

When I make this man krypled, it'll headline your news.

Superman:

Stalin, sir, you'd get going fast, you're just too slow,

I'm the ruler of superheroes, that's what everyone knows,

I thought you would be a challenge, but you've proven me other,

You're not a threat, just a creep in charge of his mother,

Next time you step to a strong man, make sure he's not I,

Now I'm off, like the birds and the planes in the sky.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

AWESOME RAP BATTLES, 2.0!  Who Won? Superman Joseph Stalin