User blog:Hippie Rat/Misfit Rap Battles and Update on SSBRB

Final bits of work being done to the Super Smash Brothers Rap Battle. I have less than twenty lines to write and otherwise I'm finally done. 408 lines when all is said and done. It's crazy how much mind power I've put into this. Video-game-based rap battles will probably be pretty rare coming from me for a while. I think I'll do final edits of the lyrics and release the finished product on New Years Day to kick off 2016. It'll be fucking great man.

Anyway, I'm switching phones, so this is probably the best time to post this. It's basically a good bit of the "misfit" battles from my older older phone that I moved to my newer older phone and lost interest in since, usually because of horrible lyrics. It includes my 3 Five Nights at Freddy's vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared battles, which you can already find on my blog, a few Minecraft CreepyPastas (which I shortened to MineCreepyPasta because I'm a geek) vs some SCPs, The Raven Man vs The Midnight Man (vs The Candy Man vs The Grey Man vs Slender Man), Beavis and Butt-head vs Drake and Josh, Zombie vs Skeleton (with literally all the hostile mobs in Minecraft. It's like a precursor to the SSBRB), and Epic Rap Battles vs History (Peter and Lloyd vs some fan-favorite ERB characters). I don't even know what else to say about them. They're not really good for the most part so just...you know...brace yourself...

Five Nights at Freddy's vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
Robin:

It's a good thing we got these jobs as night security guards.

Harry:

Yes. I wonder what will happen.

(Phone rings)

Larry:

Uh, that's the phone.

Harry:

Well don't just sit there, answer it.

Phone Guy:

Hello, Hello? Uh, hey. Um, this shit's about to get pretty dope...hehe, who would've known a bunch of animatronics could spit such a sick rhyme? Well, um... Normal rules apply, but just remember to be ready to freestyle at a moment's notice. I'm sure you'll do fine, just teach these guys a lesson. Uh... Have a good night, I guess.

Larry:

Wait, what does he mean by that?

Robin:

What does it matter? Let's just check the cameras.

Bonnie and Chica:

Let's get this party started! Checking in every so often,

See us peeking on in, I scare the shit out of Scott Cawthon.

Hit the lights, we're the frights, stay around in the blind,

Put the damn cam down and look us in the eyes.

Foxy:

Peeking through the curtains, you'll find me,

Out of service now, but I'm out, sprint and jump, wait and see.

Cause it's me, child scream, you're getting owned,

No more timeless creativity than Pirate Cove.

I'll leave you a vegetable, frontal lobe free,

And the verdict's out: I'm OP.

When we're through, you're done, but not going to heaven,

I'll bite your face off like it's 1987.

Freddy Fazbear:

Prepare to get terminated by Toreador, Terminator eyes,

You wanna survive the nights, but you can't get by five.

Why? You can't ration power, sucker, did I stutter?

Going Faz Fazakas on a mothafucka.

I barge on in as if no warning, bitch,

Rule number six, you can't touch this.

You won't see me meandering through shadows and the kitchen,

And ruin your pattern, quit your bitching.

Five Nights at Freddy's:

You're gonna be so scared, you'll want a hug,

But when we show up, you'll be crushed but with no love.

Crushed like a Beatle, or any other psychedelic limey,

We keep coming back till the suits are slimey.

I'll go Dalí on you, watching clocks melt, droop, and fall.

Tear your pages out, post the pictures on the walls.

Because I'm golden,

Your style's in disrepair and broken.

I'm more scared of North Korea,

Get the fuck out of my pizzeria!

Foxy:

That's it, I'm coming for you clowns!

Paige:

Woah there, Foxy, you might need to slow down.

Robin:

Oh good, our friend is here to help.

Manny:

Yay!

Harry:

You still consider her our friend?

Paige:

I rap sharp like a knife in the intro,

Turning around a Sesame Street music video.

You've met your death, need it spelled out, mate?

D-E-A-T-H.

I'm a teacher, you're a weak attempt at playing Slender,

Rule 34, yet you got debated genders.

Unoriginal, you're as creative as the color green,

A dark, broken down, cheap rip-off of a Chuck E. Cheese.

So low budget that you HAVE to be creative for the kitchen,

And other bad things that could happen.

I'll slice into you like one of your pizza pies,

Or perhaps a nice cake, with guts inside.

You guys are full of Schmidt, I'm not scared, not a little bit,

Jumpscare after jumpscare, you've agreed to not be creative.

And to further diss animatronics,

It's time to pass the mic to the dude on your wrist.

Tony:

Why, thank you Paige.

I look on back to the first couple rounds,

Fazbear, there's a time and a place for mucking around.

You'll die like old men when you look at the computer,

We're taking over now, not like 2, it's the future!

I'll take you to Victorian times and hang you from the gallows,

You pop up in faces like five-o-clock shadows.

We horrify children, you think you are equal?

Kids tore apart the Foxy in the sequel.

Shoot you all down like you were Bonnie and Clyde,

Time is changing all the time, it's time to go to time.

Now just for a minute I pause my verse,

Let's listen to the love crew from the third.

Shrignold:

I'm starting to wonder why you're here, (our king)

All you brought is hatred and darkness, death, and fear, (our king)

Which is why we all worship our king, our king,

Our king, his name is Malcolm, and you've made him angry, (our king).

Malcolm:

That's right, I'm your King, and when you don this ring,

You've brought my wrath, so now hear me sing.

You're uglier than Michael, the loneliest boy in town,

And when you face off against me you'll find I wear the crown.

I hit it harder than Iron Giant,

But not you felted Iron Men who are all just lying.

I'll eat you like gravel,

Enough of your prattle,

When I face off you cattle,

I make the Earth rattle!

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared:

We'll change your name, clean your brain, a delay of game,

Listen to your heart, listen to the rain, listen to the voices in your brain.

Your fifteen minutes of fame are gone, need I say more?

Frozen when we see you because love is an open door.

But it's slammed in your face, pesky bees, won't live in harmunee,

Blazing when we playing 4/20.

We be tampering with machinery, got a foolproof strategy,

So you think you're scary? Maybe to you but not to me.

Tony:

You guys are fishy like fish everywhere, this battle is mine,

And look at the time, it's five-fifty-nine.

This battle's over, we're gonna be fine, but don't worry guys,

Eventually everyone runs out of time.

Five Nights vs Don't Hug Me
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Five Nights at Freddy's vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared! Begin!

Bonnie:

Now I ain't gonna take shit from the handy dandy notebook,

I'm Bonnie, the Bunny, ain't it funny how a Jim Henson rejection,

Can make people shit their pants with the same images you can see dropping LSD?

When I take my mask off, you'll think twice before stepping to me.

Chica:

Sleek chick with the chic, Chica's on the mic,

I'mma sneaky little minx that'll end your life,

When you put down the camera there I am,

Looking through the window, don't mess with the Fazbear fam.

Foxy:

But you best test that I'm not sprinting down the hall at you,

I'll be mauling you, hook you up, me and my whole pirate crew.

And leave you in a Freddy suit, fan fave, a conclave,

Where I barge right into your office, you can't be saved.

Freddy:

I might not be active for the first nights,

But run out of power and you'll feel my might.

We're persistent, resisting any attempt to shut us down,

Play dead all you want, I still have you found.

Fazbear Crew:

We spit dark like the rest of the pizza place,

Six hours of fun no time to waste.

Like a panel broken and the doors won't close,

This wasn't a good career you chose.

You're hallucinating this must be fake!

It's the graveyard shift of course you'll double take.

But when we find where you stay,

Only your eyes and teeth will see the light of day.

Paige:

Your raps stink, like your own costumes,

Bonnie, come out of the closet with your mop and broom. Ooh.

Freddy, I'd hug you, but the rules of safety say not to,

Besides, I heard you like little kids inside you.

Foxy, you lost me at constantly check the cameras,

With all your broken voice boxes you should all be stammerers.

Chica, I'll beat ya and the backstage animatronic model,

Leave you like a Chicken McNugget served at McDonald's.

I will be quick to leave you owned,

You're more ferocious on my smart phone.

What kind of paycheck is this?

I've made more for a kickstart of another D-H-MIS.

I'll leave you with more questions than answers,

Like why is falling apart and broken your standard?

And now the next time you try to face this,

Remember to agree that we will not again be creative.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Five Nights 2 vs Don't Hug Me 2
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Five Nights at Freddy's 2 vs Don't Hug Me I'm Scared 2! Begin!

Tony:

I'm back to rap at a pack of robotic scum,

Once I'm done you'll be scrapped, scrap metal back to where you come from.

I looked at your timeline, and you need a math lesson,

You say you're Five Nights Two but you didn't come second.

You're just like a boob job, all fake and plastic,

New and improved but you're buggy and spastic.

Toy Freddy you ain't ready for the pain I'll give,

You and your buddies are tampered, tempered and aggressive.

Toy Bonnie is a joke, something borrowed, something's due,

Your face will deteriorate like the old Bonnie, out with the old, in with the new.

Toy Chica wants to party instead and I know why,

When she ate, everything went straight to her thighs.

Mangle, you and your radio frequency,

Will be destroyed and no one will put you back together, wait and see.

BB, I'll shot you with a BB, all of your balloons,

You're hated more than the desk fan, you laughing buffoon.

Toy Freddy:

Please, we have no time for this, we're better than before,

While your vids are a bore, aside from that dude watching porn.

Toy Bonnie:

Yo mention my face man, I get dirty cause you make me,

Our technology is advanced for the nineteen fucking eighties.

Toy Chica:

Beak's off, I won't give you a chance, Tony,

It's Ladies Night, we're more kid-friendly and our cheeks are rosy.

Mangle:

I'm the last attraction you want to tangle with,

As I appear so clear and no clip, you can't Mangle this.

BB:

Oh hi, haha, how could I miss this,

I got Foxy on my side, no lights, Night of the Misfits.

New Fazbear Crew:

Do you really want to diss this prequel?

With the OG band on our side we're way more than equal.

You can't save them, need we say more?

You can be in costume but you get no doors.

Don't be squeamish in this remixed battle of rhyme,

Sorry, Tick Tock Clock, but I guess everybody runs out of time.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

MineCreepyPasta vs SCP
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Herobrine, Entity 303, and the Enderman vs SCPs 173, 106, 079, & 049! Begin!

Herobrine:

Herobrine has joined, but this ain't a game,

You can check any account, everyone knows my name.

With bright white eyes I shine,

Write my rhymes, I try,

To make sure this statue knows where he stands,

The game creators can't remove me, so just try to get me banned.

You're not a terrifying big prick statue beast,

You're not even scary in the vents of Containment Breach.

Paint and rock, that whole fricking jumble,

That's the way the sculpture crumbles.

I'm hiding and building and breaking and when I'm through with you,

You're gonna need a doctor. Doctor Who?

SCP-173:

Do you think this is a game?

I ain't the aim for fake claims,

Unlike a blockhead of any popular mythos,

I had an opponent, but he is no longer with us.

Ah, you don't wanna mess with the animate and hostile,

Hustle, back up in the fog, like your usual style.

Once we're out of our cage, you'll be facing Armageddon,

All you got is a modded shrine and disc eleven.

The ghost of the stream be getting his ass beat,

I'm a grade-A fright, you're just Class-D.

Facing me when you're blind just makes me sick,

303, meet 106.

Entity 303:

Make a wish, pray I don't find you at night,

Help yourself, maybe you'll see the next daylight.

I cause grief, step to me, you'll be sorry, bro,

I'm like a Terminator Ezio!

Hiding in the code of the Mojang Team,

Spawn more mystery than any SCPs.

TNT, and the craters you see,

Beat me? You and what army? Face my 3213.

SCP-106:

I walk through walls, you're gonna fall, got that better attack,

Than any rap from this hack and his Eyeless Jack.

Cause you lack in skill, and you know you will feel your skin eroding,

What's your TNT to my corroding?

Respect your elders, kid, this is gonna hurt, ouch,

Imma beat you to a corpse and watch you burn out.

When your femur's broken, you're gonna be wishing,

You would have kept it in your own Pocket Edition.

Enderman:

Ooh, you don't wanna lay eyes on me, 173,

I'm 096 with the rhymes so sick, just wait and see.

Me, I'm a monster from your nightmares,

You, you're a computer with limited hardware.

Play me on you, but you got bad fps,

You? A fright? Take a guess.

Your creator left you to be rotten,

I'd have you remember these disses but you've already forgotten!

SCP-079:

Humanoid entity, you need my help,

You're from the End but think you're from hell.

If I wanted a Slender ripoff, there's already plenty online,

I see you in the night, I ain't scared of a blocky outline.

You green, no white, no purple-eyed prick,

You grab blocks like you're grabbing Steve's [DATA EXPUNGED].

There's no difference between you and your players, you and them all,

None of you have dropped your balls.

Herobrine:

You're gonna feel my curse, 048,

You're boring when you try to surgeon simulate.

Vulgar Volgun, hold on, better start running,

You ain't the cure, you ain't nothing.

Schizophrenic, hectic, and a mask worse than 035,

Malpractice sue for you whack-job connive.

Slender-walk, stalk, I'm gonna haunt you forever, Hero's vow,

No God, no Notch, no one can help you now.

SCP-049:

Ooh, Plague Doctor in the house, better practice than the House,

Cause when the Doctor's out, you'll be rising from the ground.

My method's are impractical, I hacked it all, I'm so OP,

With the mask sewn on and the skin so leathery.

I'm the scariest SCP,

Since 087-B,

Entity 303,

I'll rip you apart, leave it to me, I'll make an army of Zs.

Minecraft:

We're still waiting for you, you know it's true,

While you got caught, we're indestructible, 682.

Creepers gonna creep, stay outta our mineshaft,

SCP was slain by Minecraft.

SCP:

This is tragic, you're not getting out, you're going to die,

You're the most hated Swedes since PewDiePie.

You rap crap, what you lack we attack,

Sad Corrupted Pack, we got this in the bag, and we breaking outta that bag.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Raven Man vs Midnight Man
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! The Raven Man vs The Midnight Man! Begin!

Raven Man:

I've been summoned to this battle to defeat this mystery of misery,

You bring cold chills, it's like your spine is shivery.

History can't quite repeat the same mistake by bringing you back,

You would wish I had not come to spit a rap.

I'm the Raven, man, got power you can't handle!

You're a home intruder who goes around to blow out candles!

Shadows in the night gonna have a broken strife,

Because I'll take a demon and end his immortal life.

I'm a bigger fright than you for many different reasons,

You punish people the same way as Prometheus.

By the time I'm done, you'll have more blood than me on my name,

Call me Eminem, cause I'm not afraid of anything you can spit in this rap game.

Midnight Man:

That's against the rules, and you know it, so it's about time you show it,

Who the hell is scared of a fortune-telling crow bitch?

A little birdie told me that the clever bore,

Will be spitting game at me nevermore.

You probably don't want to play my game,

Beings like you would claim it foul play.

Don't feed me after midnight, I'm a gremlin,

Once I'm through with you, you'd just be a remnant.

There's a difference between these two men,

You're a work of Poe, I'm a work of Satan.

Let you limp back to your tree,

Go back to your honey, the bees. Candy Man!

Candy Man:

Django's unchained, and back with a vengeance,

I pack a punch like the fisherman menace.

With a hook for a hand, you are just jokes to dispose of,

I been slashing and stabbing since the Books of Blood.

Say my name five times and I'll get rid of you.

I hadn't even heard of you until TatsTopVideos.

I'll beat you so bad you'll be screaming Bloody Mary,

Slit your throat and you can't even down a Bloody Mary.

Grey Man:

Now, maybe if you looked in a mirror you would find yourself,

I spit tongue twists, say that five times fast, that's just your spell.

Living in a Lovely Sweet Dream, it's very hard to remiss this,

Shocking you until you can't even remember the Violence District.

I may be Grey, but I'm still blacker than Candy Man,

You had a worse bee movie than Seinfeld and the Wicker Man.

This Japanese sleaze is terrifying, you're just Rasta,

I was creepy before there was creepypasta!

Slender Man:

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Page zero of eight, looks like you've met your fate,

No eyes yet I can still see, it's impossible to defeat me.

MarbleHornets, yeah, I own it, Proxy hive-mind, I control it,

Turn and run but I'm already here, murder a bitch likes it's first of the year.

Kick an aviary in the ovaries, you don't really wanna step to me,

You kidnap people for insulting you, but I just call that honesty.

Midnight won't see the light of day, man, it's even in the name,

You try to be me, but you're just a lame, attempt at indie horror games.

Now who can spit a lick and be the softest shit in the hood?

Candy Man can cause he sprinkles it with love and makes the world taste good.

Grey was creepy, yes it's true, then some dudes wrote about you,

You use that to assist your rapping, man, I call that Evil Otto-tune.

Because I Slender walk the walk, and I talk the talk,

And I stalk the stalkers who are a stock of schlock.

Because fearing for my arrival is rudimentary,

You're dealing with the faceless, it's elementary.

It's a bad habit, I jump out at the worst times,

Better bring extra pants when I spit a rhyme.

Tick tock like Toby, left roaming,

Searching for a clue of the teens I'm controlling.

Going through the woods, praying for day,

Don't go in the bathroom, stay away.

Pages showing where they've gone,

Help them, they can't run.

Don't look or I take you hero,

I am one divided by zero.

I put spiders in your mouths when you sleep,

I'll rip you apart with my tentacles, see?

There's no space in the collective,

Targets brought down as our directive.

The Black King has you found,

And left you too scared to turn around.

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles Of History!

Beavis and Butt-head vs Drake and Josh
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Beavis & Butt-head vs Drake & Josh! Begin!

Beavis:

Prepare to feel the Beavis burn from the Burger World fryer,

Heh, yeah, I'll set you on FIRE!

Step to Beavis, you're sure to get your ass beat,

Your face will be redder than your rash from no sweets.

Sweets... Yum...

Cornholio:

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!!! Feel the wrath of the holy!

You'll crap your pants and need tp for the bungholey.

Are you threatening me? I'd rather watch Drew & Jerry,

If we saw a music video from you, we'd turn off MTV.

Drake Parker:

Woah, just take it easy, man, no need to be so hyper,

Just find a way to calm down and stop playing with fire.

Cause dude, you're more wound up than Crazy Steve,

For someone with no music sense you best leave.

(Head explodes, reappears)

My mind is blown by how bad you wanna "score,"

Yet how you're so ugly, underbite and pointy nose galore.

I pick up chicks and I don't even care about most of them,

You're an angry druggy with Parkinson's.

Butt-head:

Uhhhhhh, you buttmunches are gonna get kicked in the asses,

I'm gonna knock the Theater Thug right off the honors classes.

You fat nerd, you're worse than Stewart,

Like, go fricking fix a computer.

Uhhhhhh, you're a buzzkill teacher's pet,

And a crossdressing goofball, not a threat.

It'll be cool, I'll stick a firecracker up your butt,

I don't have to take crap from the guy who ran over Oprah.

Josh Nichols:

You give me headaches! With your ugly faces,

Lip curled up, showing off your gums and braces.

Think you're so cool, you ain't smooth with the babes and,

Spend every night in your room masturbating. Masturbating!

So quit hating, at least we get along despite the mismatch,

You got murdered by your partner in Celebrity Deathmatch.

I'm not even sure that you can diss me on my looks, cause it's hinted,

You can't even see with your eyes so squinted.

Beavis & Butt-head:

Uhhh, you guys only went Hollywood, "you really big shrimps,"

We did America, "we're like fricking pimps."

You got beat up by a girl, "heh, yeah, with boobies!"

And you're a fat slob, "heh, yeah, with boobies!"

Not to mention you are boobs, "a nine-year-old's smarter than you,"

We'll beat you, then frame you, have your parents ground you.

Yeah, we'll ruin your career, "like your shattered wrist,"

Uhhhhh, you're gonna learn [never to mess with Butt-head and Beavis!]

Drake & Josh:

You'll choke then end up walking away with a nosebleed,

"Maybe you'll retain some beauty from this beating you need."

"You amateur pyros created a whole generation of violence,"

Then came back to torture the world with more stories from Highland.

"Drake & I get out of situations every day," I found a way, I found a way-ay,

"You spend every day trying to get laid, it's all the same."

We'll slaughter you, make it your last episode, no other,

And title it 'Beavis & Butt-head Are Dead', "hug me brother!"

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Zombie vs Skeleton
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles of History! Zombie vs Skeleton! Begin!

Zombie:

'Sup, Legolas? Need to borrow some meat and blood?

Arms stretched out, but I ain't handing out hugs.

Idly standing far away, projectile attacks against close range,

You're too weak for melee, Zombies win the Hunger Games.

Skeleton:

This is brains over brawn, I got both, you're eating one,

Just think for once, you got your fist, I got a gun.

Every morning the player sees a green man burst in flames,

'Cause I'm the one who knows to keep fighting in the shade.

Creeper:

But that'sssss not ssomething to worry about,

When your a Creeper creepily crawling all about.

Ssstep to me, face a kamikaze attack,

With a tssssssssss, better take a ssstep back.

Spider:

Steal my sound you gonna face the heat,

I scale the wall and got super speed.

Already everyone's nightmare, can't ask for more,

You ain't the bane of the anthropods, no I'm yours!

Silverfish:

Quit bugging me, you and your cave buddy,

'Cause when you mess with one, you get the whole army.

We protect the End, and got what it takes,

Just don't break a block anywhere in this place.

Slime:

Who knew some big square would make your existence end?

Cause when you kill me once, I don't stay dead.

Mitosis, I know this, and master it to survive all we want,

So prepare little guys, cause you're about to get swamped.

Witch:

Hahaha! You're not the only thing residing here,

It ain't Shrek, no, you slimy grimy Slimey, I am your fears.

Gotta head to hell, collect something to stir up for you,

Then get you, my pretties, and your little dog too!

Magma Cube:

You're on my turf now, and cousin your done in,

Welcome to the Nether, feel the heat settling in?

So Slime, I'd suggest you just cram it,

'Cause even my tiny form does damage.

Ghast:

You heard me coming from a mile away,

Building here is impossible once I show up, okay?

The trapped spirit will haunt you here and hover,

Best sleep, BOOM! The nightmare isn't over.

Blaze:

When was the last time you laid eyes on someone so hot,

Imma demon, not like you, some undead left to rot.

Everything was normal until the Fire Nation hit,

May be fire but I represent the grass, 'cause 420 Blaze It!

Zombie Pigman:

We're the abominations you all wish didn't exist,

Don't burn in hellfire and don't attack with fists.

'Cause we got the broad sword of gold coming your way,

We'll remember your face and make sure you don't mess with this gang.

Enderman:

Think you're so cool? (Ah, ah,) You live in the fire, fool. (Ah, ah)

IT like DBZ, (Ah, ah) should've never stepped to me. (Ah)

Look at me the wrong way, (Ah, ah) you won't live to burn in day! (Ah, ah)

You know that you've done bad, (Ah, ah) when my mouth's agape, I'm mad! (Ah)

Endermite:

Little guy's on the mic, bet you didn't expect this rhyme,

Feel the wrath of the little brother, feel my Endermite.

Damage from the pearl, insult to injury, jerks,

When I'm through, you'll see, even little bites hurt.

The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog:

A Toast to the rabbit come to screw up your day,

When the boy cries wolf and I come by, it runs away.

No Holy Hand Grenade will stop me, your lives will need sparing,

I'll chop you down like a tree, with a herring.

Guardian:

Oh, hold your breath, Ghast, you make me deaf,

It's time that you met the thorns to bring your death.

Elder Guardian:

You prisses are about to be defeated by the prismarine,

We hate you more than squids, back away from my beam.

Wither Skeleton:

Let's switch it up now, back to the hell ground,

Cousins with Rambo here, and you're all going down.

You'll all wither away, it heals me, I've won,

And remember, three heads are better than one.

Wither:

And four limbs ain't as scary as none,

I'm the Wither himself, I'm the boss of this run.

I'm the most powerful being in the game,

You better be scared, I'm what your nightmares became!

I'm healed by bloodshed, so I'm not afraid to bump heads,

So be a living creature near Satan, and you're dead!

Once I'm summoned, you'll be filled with guilt,

You're gonna wish I was never built.

Ender Dragon:

HAHAHAHA! You fools will regret claiming victory over me!

They call me the Ender Dragon, so bow down to me!

I freed you all from confinement in the strongholds,

When it comes to the death of the player, you can't get a strong hold!

I'm the big beast, scariest thing for you to happen,

Haha, I'd like to meet the man who can slay the dragon!

Even my minions got the bods of Slender,

Just like this battle, I am literally the game Ender!

Announcer:

Who won? Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History!

Epic Rap Battles vs History
Announcer:

Epic Rap Battles vs History! Begin!

EpicLLOYD:

Let me start off spitting that you're kidding, you're weak and boring,

We be teaching people the likes of you from noon to morning.

Nice Peter:

So sit down, son, I'll teach you a history lesson,

We're the YouTube celebs that you do not want to mess with!

Ludwig van Beethoven:

You're an embarrassment to my name, my music brings you shock,

As if you're one to talk, parodying Mozart and Bach.

Skrillex:

A little recess for you is like at least eight months,

I'm spittin fire that's making Damian Bun Dem.

EpicLLOYD:

Yo, you be spitting it like the world be turning,

Revolving around ya, but no one's learning, quit with the burning.

We didn't start the fire, but let's be saying that we helped spread it,

Nobody's heard of you until you battle rap Bieber, give us credit.

Abe Lincoln:

I'm a stone cold motherfucker on my memorial throne,

I'm living la vida loca, like a bullet to the dome.

Clint Eastwood:

I'll beat you with a fistful, for a few dollars more,

You're battles are a bore, beating you won't be a chore.

Nice Peter:

We be pitting bitches in rap since I Told You Not To Fucking Touch That,

I'll destroy you, your kite, and your robot voice chat.

You're a fan fave cause you use autotune to rhyme,

Call that Epic Rap Battles of Brief History of Time.

Ben Franklin:

I'll knock your whack ass to France and back,

I'm the master of post and ceremonies, you're just a quack.

Stephen Hawking:

It's heating up now like black holes radiate,

This ain't science fiction in this battle of diction, I'll exterminate the hate.

Nice Peter:

Goku vs Superman rocks! While I'm chilling in my Superman socks!

I hit it big even riding Kassem G's jock.

EpicLLOYD:

In this Dis Rap I'll pop lock and make you stop,

We bring down the house and go off the top.

Al Capone:

Come on! I am the OG Public Enemy Number 1,

And I'll scrap your ass like you did my Tommy Gun.

Mr. Rogers:

Neighbor, I'm the best in PBS all over Pennsylvania, son,

Listen to the Announcer and you decide who won.

Announcer:

Who's next? You Decide! Epic Rap Battles of History.