User blog:ERBofSmoshery/Smash Raps: Bowser vs Gru

Hello once again everyone, and welcome to another Smash Rap! That's right, it's not dead! Before I begin, this will be my last Smash Rap before I take a break, my ERB mid-season finale is currently in progress, and will be published sometime after this battle. In the break, I will be starting a brand new type of series which I hope you will all enjoy. The series will only be released in the mid-season breaks, so I'm really looking forward to starting something different. Anyway, today we have another guest with us. This time we have Hawkeye playing Bowser! Thanks for all the work man! In this rap battle, we have the evil King of all Koopas, Bowser, facing the Despicable supervillain, Gru, to see which Minion-leading villain is better. Enjoy the battle, and I'll see you after the break!

Bowser:
RAAAWRRR!! It's Big Bad Bowser coming in to spit pure fiery disses!

Taking over the Mushroom Kingdom, all you do is babysit little bitches!

You think stealing the moon is evil? I destroy whole galaxies for fun!

Just thinking of my terror with freeze you, don't even need to use a pesky gun!

You think you can ever find love? Ha! Sorry but that will never be in another castle!

I could beat you in go-karting, tennis, and even fucking golf with no hassle!

What good are Fart Guns and Boogie monsters against the almighty Koopa King?

Losing to a Mexican luchador and a cereal brand, I could make you lose everything!

Once you die from my skill, I bet your daughters will cry, no more sunshine or rainbows

So come at me Gru, I could face you and your whole crew, the annoying little dildos!

Gru:
Hiding shell-shocked in that shell? I've seen that cowardly trick from you!

You're more odious and erroneous when you're facing Felonious Gru!

This whiny Spiny can't defy me! Look Junior, you're not that Super!

Without Kamek you're just a stooper, Blooper, pooper Koopa Troopa!

Your flow's Dry, Bones, I'm dropping Bowser Bombs till you glitch!

You're talking love? The only thing you'd ever fall for is that Skull Switch!

Are those Lost Levels still holding your chance of finding a new scheme?

You may breathe fire, but your rapping's about as hot as a Freeze Ray beam!

Bowser:
Oh god, that verse was worse than those stupid plumber brothers' fighting skills!

Call this the New Bowser ass beating part two, one Goomba has you run for the hills!

You must be high on shrooms if facing me is your master plan, I'll own with one fireball!

So come at me Felonius if you wanna Melee, one punch will end this Brawl!

Face it, you're not Despicable, too bad unlike my games your films aren't blockbusters

I'll stay famous as a villain forever, all you are is the guy who made Minions popular!

Gru:
Lightbulb! Stewart, grab my tools and make this fool less adamant!

But I don't need his Shroomy spells to make his rapping skills inanimate!

Forget the heebie jeebies, your Goombas Jack Jeebs-flopped on the big screen

And then their leader turned from a Koopa into a visual Adele Dazeem!

Call me Dr. Nefario-us, bad to bone! You're bad when it comes to a spouse!

Your fights are obvious, I can see through all your tactics like a Ghost House!

Blow your Spiny Shell to the Galaxy's Seven Stars with an RPG!

I would freeze your significance, but your minions did it for me! Haha!

Results
The winner is... Bowser Gru