User blog:TCalderon/Monika vs Neo - Weeb Shit vs Anything

So, I know it's been... a whole twenty six days since I've uploaded anything here. Some life stuff got in the way, and I haven't really found a lot of time or motivation to write rap battles. But, The Joker vs Pennywise was really freakin' good and made me wanna get back in the groove of things! So, I decided to finish up this battle that I nearly scrapped. It's not my best work, but hopefully you guys enjoy it! Hopefully the next battle I write will be something I can be truly proud of again. I got a few ideas I've been meaning to cook up.

Any, enough of the emo shit.

Neo, the chosen one from The Matrix, and Monika, the president of Doki Doki Literature club! These two battle it out to see which fake reality is truly superior!

-

WEEB SHIT VS ANYTHING

MONIKA

VS

NEO

BEGIN!

Neo:

There’s a glitch in the Matrix; must’ve been a deja vu

I’ve seen more authentic “Doki Dokis” come from Mario 2!

Been fighting inevitability well before Stark made it cool!

It’s The One up against the blandest bitch in a high school?

You’ve aroused a bunch of horny weebs who’re hungry for your thighs!

An addiction more toxic than Yuri’s collection of knives!

I know kung-fu; I’ll own this edgy teen in a Burly Brawl

What good is this verse when my fist says it all?!

Monika:

'''Hello, Mr. Anderson! Welcome to my Literature Club'''

With poems like that one, I will be killing this scrub!

You’re early on your assignment, but I appreciate the gesture

I can tell you’re a beginner, so allow me to give you a lecture;

Your structure and your rhythm left me quite underwhelmed,

It’s all too jumbled and pretentious; kinda like your last two films!

Furthermore, I’ve noted a contradiction in your cypher

'''Calling me toxic? Look at the travesties you’ve inspired!'''

'''You’re irrelevant! Been too long since anyone has thought of ya!'''

You’ll explode when I knock you out this ring; Project Monika!

I’ll beat you till your bleeding; Natsuki will wanna puke!

I think that Neo here should go right back to chasing Crash Bandicoot!

Neo:

Between your resolve and mentality; I can’t tell which is more disturbing

Making your friends to kill themselves all because you got thirsty?!

You don’t intimidate; in fact, you drive your players into boredom

Taking four hours before your horror game introduces any horror?!

This glorified virus ain’t got shit on Agent Smith!

And I won’t be prosecuted when I assassinate this president!

Your deletion will be permanent; that much I am sure of

By the time I’m done, there won’t even be a “little bit of Monika”!

Monika:

'''Can’t take you seriously, Ted! I can’t be threatened by this Reeves!'''

Acting so robotic, it’s like I’m Raging Against a Machine!

You’re certainly not my type; I wouldn’t trap you for infinity!

Beat your ass three times; a harsher death than Trinity’s… 

WHO WON?!

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

Who Won? Monika Neo