(Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

MIKHAEL KALASHNIKOV AND GASTON GLOCK!

VERSUS,

EUGENE STONER AND SAMUEL COLT!

BEGIN!

(Stoner and Colt)

Allow the Americans to make a Garand entrance

Send 30 rounds your way before you utter a sentence

Revolutionary vets, we're two stone cold killers

Dropping bars full of Zingers, but we don’t do filler

Before I made auto's, I was spinning and winning

Revolvers had the West locked down from the beginning

Unlike you, I play hero when I show up in games,

While you arm terrorists, dictators, and gangs

Try to counter this round, but I’ll bet that you can’t

Your weapons kill more children than the Mosin-Nagant

You never hear us pop up, in any 90’s gangsta rap

All you do is spray and pray like a fucking scaredy-cat

Ditch the wood furniture, your handguards give me splinters

Like the Germans on your doorstep, you won’t survive the winter

Spit faster than your coups, don’t try to berate me

Dropping bars like the P320 with no safety

(Glock and Kalashnikov)

Your army dropped Beretta, I’m about to take you out

Switch to Sig, left you with a Sauer taste in your mouth

I’m the pistol market conqueror, the crown prince of polymers

(Kalashnikov butts in) Unlike you, I pull weight with mag followers

(Glock butts in) No hammer to drop, but you’ll be tasting his bite

When you mess with the top-tier pick in Counter-Strike

M16s had more jams than a radio station,

Sold as self-cleaning, couldn't clean up its reputation!

The same generations that saw their share of blood

Turned "two world wars" into the battle cry of Fudd's

You want to talk platforms? Please, that's a joke

My rifle fires frozen, yours chokes in the smoke

My Model 18 melts my enemies away

I'd call you Ice Cube, (FPS Russia) but it's not a good day

Police packing me because they trust my name

When I roll on the scene, you six shooters feel ashamed

You want to talk pins? That's a pretty bold claim

You're held up like bumpers at a fucking bowling lane

You flex like my barrels, but I’m dropping a fact

That your whole platform is a huge German hack

Korobov had the tech, but I made designs last

You're nothing like my trunnions, prepare to be cast

Universal army rifle, no way you can stop this

I look better than your OnlyFans models when I'm topless

You claim you're the good guys? Don't make me laugh

Let's 180, like the guns that the IRA stashed

Mattel makes Barbies and made your rifle worse

The only rifle in the world that's ever gotten nerfed!

And you Mr. Stoner, who dares to take the throne

You built an assault rifle you can't legally own

Americans love war, yes, that's well known

But your mil-surp slurps dick, like your army wives at home!

(Stoner and Colt)

Your AK's a beast, but let's quickly get it straight

You symbolize tyranny and failed communist states

You're not true gunsmiths, let's call a spade a spade

You made one decent gun, then just copy-paste for decades

You flex cheap production, let me tell you what I see

An ugly-ass slide and a clone of an MP

I will Shot Show you up, everyone's impressed with me

I got red dot sights, ACOG's, and OEG's

I'm the easiest to build, with quad nods and keymod

Picatinny PEC's flex, you're throwing hands with gods

Your designs lasted long, but let's cut to the truth

When the world's best rolls in, they sure ain't using you

Your blueprints never made you a dime

While my patents made bank - call that capitalist crime

I think it’s time to Die Glocke, and I think I hear the bell

“Hey dad, take a look at what I brought to show and tell”

WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

Lev Yashin vs Manuel Neuer

Was thinking maybe epiclloyd would play as yashin and nicepeter would be neuer and MAYBE casillas would come in at the end or something

(Does anyone actually gaf?)

It MAY OR MAY NOT be cooked. Just know that if it continues, it'll happen on another account of mine (for reasons I'm not disclosing), which might prove annoying. Yeah, that's literally it. Toodles.

what if instead of X Gon' Give It To Ya the song went Sex Gon' Give It To Ya that would be fucked up wouldn't it

This Is My Opinion On Who Won Every Battle.

1. John Lennon

2. Darth Vader

3. Abe Lincoln

4. Lady Gaga

5. Macho Man Randy Savage

6. Beethoven

7. Stephen Hawking

8. Genghis Khan

9. Napoleon Bonaparte

10. Vince Offer

11. Dumbledore

12. William Shakespeare

13. Mr Rogers

14. Captain Kirk

15. Nice Peter

16. Hitler (2)

17. Master Chief

18. Wright Bros

19. Michael Jackson

20. Cleopatra

21. HAL 9000

22. Freddie Mercury

23. Abe Lincoln

24. The Fourth Doctor

25. Clint Eastwood

26. Sherlock Holmes

27. Moses

28. Adam

29. Gandhi

30. Nikola Tesla

31. Babe Ruth

32. Mozart

33. Gorbachev

34. Vader

35. AI Capone

36. Joan Of Arc

37. Bob Ross

38. Muhammad Ali

39. J.P Morgan

40. Walter White

41. Goku

42. Stephen King

43. Sir Isaac Newton

44. William Wallace

45. Artists

46. Mythbusters

47. Romeo And Juilet

48. Thor

49. Hannibal Lecter

50. Oprah Winfrey

51. Quentin Tarantino

52. Lewis And Clark

53. Harry Houdini

54. The Terminator

55. Western Philosophers

56. Julius Caesar

57. Walt Disney

58. Boba Fett

59. J. R. R. Tolkien

60. Gordon Ramsay

61. Frederick Douglass

62. Austin Powers

63. Bruce Banner

64. Frederick The Great

65. Donald Trump

66. Charles Darwin

67. Stevie Wonder

68. Wayne Gretzky

69. Theodore Roosevelt

70. EpicLLOYD

71. Elon Musk

72. Wolverine

73. Che Guevara

74. Burger King

75. Joan Rivers

76. Steve Irwin

77. Sigmund Treud

78. Vlad The Impaler

79. The Joker

80. Oppenheimer

81. Joe Biden

82. Harry Potter

83. Ragnar Lodbrok

84. Mansa Musa

85. John Wick

86. Lara Croft

87. Karl Marx

88. Godzilla

89. Donald Trump

BONUS (Flash In The Pin Pan And Other)

———————————-

1. Big Bird

2. Pewdiepie

3. Ronald McDonald

4. King Henry VII

5. Michael J. Fox

6. Bette White

If my opinions are inaccurate or accurate, tell me in the comments.

Has anyone realised that besides the Donald Trump vs Kamala Harris one, the president that went second in the battles won the election? Barack went second in Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney, Trump went second in Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton, and Joe went second in Donald Trump vs Joe Biden.

Also, the annoncer always announces the winning president first (excluding Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney).

And the titles? The titles display the president-elect first, excluding Donald Trump vs Joe Biden. Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney, Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton, and Donald Trump vs Kamala Harris.

This means that the "perfect" election battle, following these three theories, was Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton.