Ash Ketchum:
Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight,
("[Trainer] would like to battle!" is one of the various phrases used during the start of Pokémon Trainer battles in the video games. Ketchum parodies this to say Darwin isn't a challenge for him.)
But this should be fun! I've yet to catch the Ghost type!
(Ketchum says that even though it seems easy to win, it will still be fun for him to beat Darwin. At the time of the battle's release, Ash had never officially caught a Ghost-type Pokémon, the closest to owning one being when he got a Haunter to accompany him from Lavender Town to battle the gym at Saffron City before it left him. He would later catch a Gengar during his global journies across the Pokémon world. Darwin is deceased in real life, essentially making him a ghost; thus, Ketchum plans to "catch" Darwin, or "own" him, meaning to beat him in a rap battle.)
Got the highest speed stat, drop raps lightning fast,
(In Pokémon games, the Pokémon with the higher speed stat is usually the one that uses its move first. Ketchum says this as he is the first to rap and associates his raps as being quick like lightning. Electric-type Pokémon are commonly faster than most other types, so Ketchum says his raps are much faster in flow than Darwin's.)
Open my pockets and go (Charizard!) on your ass!
(Pokémon is short for "pocket monsters," as they fit within one's pockets when inside of a Poké Ball. Ketchum opening his pockets would mean letting out his Pokémon, one of which is a Charizard. Charizard is a powerful Fire-type Pokémon, so he uses his name to say he plans to burn Darwin. He also may refer to going "hard" on Darwin, as the last syllable of Charizard's name sounds similar to this.)
'Cause I'm Ash! And that's A to the "shush"!
("Shush" is typically used to tell someone to be quiet. Ketchum makes a play on his name, using the "sh" portion of his first name to tell Darwin he shouldn't try to rap.)
I don't care how many beetles and butterflies you squoosh!
(Darwin tested his theories by performing vivisections and dissections of different insects, such as beetles and butterflies, and Ketchum says he is not affected by this fact. Ketchum also cites two insects that have had Pokémon directly based on them, Heracross and Butterfree respectively, both of which he caught.)
Your earthworms can't beat these magical beasties!
(One of the areas that Darwin did extensive research on included earthworms, which would be considered a boring animal to study. In his book The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms, Darwin points out the ecological importance of the earthworm. Still, Ketchum claims that Darwin's earthworms can't match up to his monsters that have all kinds of magical powers.)
Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces!
("Shit-talking" means making things up or spouting out nonsense, usually in an insulting manner. Ketchum asserts that Darwin's claims are all fabricated and fanciful, and makes a pun on his published work, On the Origin of Species, by saying that the origin of feces, the scientific word for shit, was Darwin's shit-talking.)
You got candy raps: Reese's Pieces!
(Reese's Pieces are a type of peanut-butter candy, and they are packaged inside candy wrappers. Ketchum says that Darwin's raps are nothing more than sweetness, with no actual body. It also acts as a pun on the Rhesus Monkey which was highlighted in Darwin's Evolution of Man as evidence for the theory about humans sharing a common ancestor with monkeys.)
In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species!
(Darwin's concept of "survival of the fittest" states that certain species that are stronger or more numerous in an ecosystem will prevail over those that are not. Ketchum claims that, as a human and a Pokémon Trainer, he is superior to the many Pokémon he encounters throughout his travels, as well as dominating Darwin in this match.)
When it's time to train, I turn to Pikachu, (Pika!)
(Pikachu is Ketchum's partner Pokémon and his most frequently used Pokémon throughout the series, so when he trains his Pokémon, Pikachu is the one most often trained for battles.)
But when I need a weak verse, I choose you!
(Ketchum claims Darwin's raps won't be good, and he would only pick Darwin if he wants to hear a bad verse. This can also be seen as Ketchum telling Darwin to begin his verse, as the phrase "I choose you!" is used by him when he lets out a Pokémon, or in this case, Darwin, to battle.)
Charles Darwin:
Hello there. Welcome to a world called Earth,
(The beginning of Pokémon games typically start with the professor of the region the game takes place in (such as Professor Oak), introducing the player to the world of Pokémon. Darwin, a scientist himself, reuses this, instead introducing Ketchum to Earth, the real world, as Ketchum lives in a fictional universe mostly based on the geographical layout of Japan, as well as a handful of other real world countries. In the game, the professor can be seen holding a book, similar to Darwin, who also has a book in his hand in the video.)
Where actual minds do groundbreaking work!
(Darwin is a renowned scientist with a brilliant mind who developed the ideas of evolution and pioneered the theory of "natural selection". This theory made waves around the world as it disproved many popular notions on the origin of mankind. Darwin claims that he is an "actual mind" who can make such fantastic discoveries whereas Ketchum, being a child, simply does research on the behalf of a Professor and pales in comparison mentally.)
If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection!
("Survival of the fittest" and "natural selection" are part of Darwin's theory of evolution. He says that he is the "natural selection," or ideal choice, for the fittest rapper and thus will outlast Ketchum in the battle.)
You're so ineffective you couldn't even turn 11!
(Despite the Pokémon anime having aired for decades, Ketchum has remained ten years old throughout the series' run, which surprised many Pokémon fans. Darwin also calls Ketchum ineffective similar to how Pokémon attacks of a type that the opposing Pokémon is resistant to are deemed "not very effective.")
What you spit's just not hard-hitting enough!
(Darwin deems Ketchum's raps are weak.)
It's kids stuff! You're soft like a Jigglypuff!
(Ketchum is only a ten-year-old child, and the anime series for Pokémon is aimed at a younger audience since it appears on channels made for children and cartoons, so Darwin claims that Ketchum's verses are for kids too. Jigglypuff is a balloon-like Pokémon that makes reoccurring appearances in the anime, and it is known for being squishy and able to inflate and deflate itself, so Darwin says Ketchum is softer than one.)
You got no Game, Boy, so you'll get the broom quick!
(Darwin claims that Ketchum has no game, or no skill as a rapper. The first Pokémon games were featured on the handheld Game Boy console released by Nintendo. It also refers to how Ketchum isn't featured in any of the the Pokémon games, so Darwin says he will soon be scrapped and forgotten. Furthermore, it can talk about how despite Ketchum's many female traveling companions he has no "game," or skills with girls. The phrase "get the broom quick" could refer to the concept of a "sweep" in competitive Pokémon battling; an easy win where a single Pokémon defeats an entire enemy team, inferring that Darwin will "sweep" Ketchum in this manner. He also may mean that a young boy like him would be sent to do chores like sweeping on the vessel where Darwin voyaged for his research.)
The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK!
(Ash Williams, a character from the Evil Dead films who shares Ketchum's first name, uses a shotgun he refers to as a "boomstick" in the film Army of Darkness. However, this is a double entendre as it suggests that Williams has larger genitals than Ketchum. It also suggests Williams is "the real Ash" because he predated Ketchum by 16 years. )
I'm a masterful naturalist!
(Darwin is a naturalist, which is a person who studies or is an expert in natural history. Naturalist could also mean a person who believes that only natural [as opposed to supernatural or spiritual] laws and forces operate in the world, and Darwin seemed to excel at both.)
What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list!
(Darwin supposedly glimpsed the origin of all life, which he considers far more impressive than the Pokémon on the list of the Pokédex, a device that Pokémon trainers have to record data of different species of Pokémon. He calls the Pokémon on the list crap because they are all fictional, or this may relate to the less appealing design certain Pokémon have, while Darwin's discoveries of man's origin had a huge impact on the real scientific world.)
My research reversed the first words of the Church!
(Many religious groups who interpret their religious scriptures in a literal manner claim that Darwin's research, compiled in his book On the Origin of Species contradicts what is stated in their religious scriptures. For example, there are many Christians who believe that Darwin's theory of evolution, which claims that all life on Earth emerged and has changed over time through the process of evolution by natural selection directly contradicts the creation story in the first two chapters of the Book of Genesis, which claims that God created the heavens, universe, Earth and all the creatures on the Earth in six days, hence "reversing the first words of the church". This view is not unique to Christians, though, as many Muslims, especially those living in countries like Saudi Arabia and Sudan also share a belief that the theory of evolution contradicts the creation story in the Quran.)
You measure your worth by the sales of your merch!
(The success of the Pokémon franchise has led to massive sales of Pokémon merchandise, including video games, playing cards, and toys. Darwin asserts that Ketchum, like the rest of the Pokémon anime, is only valuable as a means of selling more merchandise, while Darwin's effect on the world is much more significant in comparison.)
Ash Ketchum:
Yo, ummm, real quick?
(Ketchum pauses the beat to quickly comment on Darwin's research in an attempt to undermine it, leading into the next line.)
This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick! Kick it!
(Darwin conducted extensive research on barnacles from 1846 to 1854, as most naturalists previously considered the classification of barnacles a mess, and he intended to sort them out properly. Barnacles are hermaphrodite animals as well as sessile, so they tend to have extremely long genitals in order to copulate with their neighbors. Ketchum finds Darwin's interest in these animals laughable and uses it to ridicule him.)
You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please!
(Ketchum questions why he should be impressed by the journeys that Darwin made upon the HMS Beagle, devaluing his opponent's life accomplishments.)
You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas!
(Between 1831 and 1836, Darwin went on a sailing expedition aboard the HMS Beagle. A beagle is also a type of dog, and dogs are often annoyed by fleas, though Ketchum deems Darwin even more annoying.)
You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea!
(Ketchum references a glitch known as "the MissingNo. [Old Man] glitch" from Pokémon Red and Blue versions. This glitch involves talking to an old man in Viridian City and then encountering the glitch Pokémon MissingNo. on the shores of Cinnabar Island; this glitch was notorious for its potential to corrupt save files. Ketchum suggests Darwin is "glitchy" like the old man, perhaps meaning cranky or unable to move properly. He also says that Darwin should have been left out at sea on his Beagle like MissingNo. is found in the seas around Cinnabar Island.)
Set sail and Galápago-suck on these!
(Ketchum suggests that Darwin leave the battle and go back to the high seas, as well as creating a pun on the Galápagos Islands where Darwin spent many years studying evolution. Ketchum tells Darwin quite bluntly to suck his testicles.)
Charles Darwin:
Look, Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick,
(Michael Vick is a former American football player infamous for having served in prison for participating in illegal dog fights, similar to how Ketchum participates in Pokémon battles [something Darwin elaborates on in his next line]. "Mighty morphin'" refers to the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers which, like Pokémon, originated from Japan and spawned an entire franchise aimed at young boys involving monster fights. "Morphin" is used as a reference to evolution in the Pokemon franchise (which levels up a character and changes its form, or morphs).)
Your animated slave fights make me sick!
(Because Pokémon are kept in small Poké Balls and made to fight each other, Darwin considers them slaves to their trainers, an idea he finds morally sickening. As Charles Darwin's grandfather Erasmus Darwin was a fervent slave-trade abolitionist, Charles inherited his views and likewise despised slavery. There was also an episode of Pokémon titled Konpyūtā Heishi Porygon, which translates to Computer Soldier Porygon which made headlines when it induced epileptic seizures in many Japanese children in its first and only airing, resulting in the episode being banned and the featured Pokémon, Porygon, as well as its evolutions, no longer making any anime appearances in the flesh. This could also be a reference to Charles Darwin saying "The sight of a feather in a peacock's tail make me sick" after he was beleaguered by the problem of the peacock’s tail.)
When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning,
(Ketchum was born and raised in the backwater town of Pallet Town. Darwin says that this simple beginning suggests that Ketchum is vastly unequipped to battle him. He also references the final words of On the Origin of Species, "…and that, whilst this planet has gone circling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.")
I'm not Charles Sheen, but I am Dar-winning!
(Charles Darwin and Charlie Sheen share the same first name. Charlie Sheen's catchphrase, "winning," is played on as a pun on Darwin's surname. While Darwin is not Charlie Sheen, he still claims to come out victorious, Dar-winning, as a result of Ketchum's uncivilized origins.)
Ash Ketchum:
Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel
(Ketchum admits that nature may be cruel, which is often said to describe how nature is full of diseases, parasites, natural disasters, and killings to other animals in the food chain, and this is said to lead into the next line.)
'Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool!
(Ketchum flips Darwin's last line to mean he's winning something else apart from the battle, which is his first cousin Emma Wedgwood's gene pool. The gene pool is the set of all genes, or genetic information, in any population, usually of a particular species, which is something related to genetics, one of Darwin's studies. Darwin married and fathered ten children with his cousin, but Ketchum says this is akin to incest, and the result of it is cruel as stated in his previous line.)
You lost three children while they were still small!
(Two daughters and one son of Darwin's died while they were still young children, and Ketchum implies they may have had defects as a result of Darwin fathering them with his own first cousin.)
TB and scarlet fever; gotta catch 'em all!
("Gotta catch 'em all!" is the slogan of the Pokémon franchise, as well as a line from the theme song for the anime series. Ketchum mocks Darwin's sickly children by comparing them catching TB (tuberculosis) and scarlet fever to his goal of catching every Pokémon in the Pokédex.)
Charles Darwin:
It took millions of years for mankind to evolve!
(Under Darwin's theory of evolution, mankind evolved through numerous ways across many millenia, from single-celled organisms to the modern world. They went from being beings quadrupedal tree-dwellers who walked hunched over their hinds and forelegs to the erect man we have today. However...)
Now they're hunched over cell phones playing with your balls!
(...Darwin asserts that evolution appears to be going backwards as the Pokémon franchise game Pokémon GO, a mobile app which gained popularity at the time of the battle's release that allows players to catch Pokémon in the real world through augmented reality, has caused mankind to return to their primitive ways of being hunched over, though this time it is to get a better view of their cellphone screens. Part of Pokémon GO involves throwing virtual Poké Balls at Pokémon in order to catch them, which Darwin likens to gameplayers playing with Ketchum's testicles.)
And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother,
(Darwin acknowledges Ketchum's comment about the loss of his children, and the emotional difficulty of this, as a build-up to the next line.)
As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother!
(Professor Samuel Oak is a Pokémon character who gave Pikachu to Ketchum, and he lives in Pallet Town alongside Ketchum's mother, Delia Ketchum. The Pokémon fandom often jokingly asserts that Oak only gave him a Pikachu to get him out of Pallet Town so that Oak could commence a sexual relationship with Delia; this is also joked about with Red, the protagonist of the first generation of Pokémon games. Oak is among the trees that play a vital role in the modern lumber industry since the Pokémon professors are traditionally named after trees or plants, and coinciding with "wood" being a slang term for an erect penis, to "give someone wood" means to have sexual intercourse with them.)
Scrapped lyrics
Charles Darwin:
Hello there! Welcome to the world of reality,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Hello there. Welcome to a world called Earth.")
Where animals are merely benefactors to humanity,
(On Earth, animals were simply used as food for survival.)
Not family! This is the cycle that we are born from,
(Darwin explains that animals aren't meant to be family, and the process of life is nothing less than natural selection.)
And I'm the next professor you're taking orders from!
(Darwin tells Ketchum that he will be taking orders from him now instead of Professor Oak. This may also be referencing how in many Pokemon games, the Pokemon professor gives orders to the player like "Now's not the time to use that".)
I'll make the face of a franchise faint!
(Fainting is a status condition in which a Pokémon is no longer able to battle. Darwin says he will make Ketchum, the mascot of the Pokémon franchise, lose this battle.)
Beat you 'til you're Red and Blue 'cause you got no game!
(The last part of this lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You got no Game, Boy, so you'll get the broom quick!" Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue are the first installments of the Pokémon video game franchise, but Darwin says he would beat Ketchum until he's red from bleeding and blue from bruises.)
No strength, no smarts, not responsive to change
(Darwin says Ketchum isn't strong or smart and never changes in the same way a scientist would observe what qualities a species would have.)
'Cause it took you over 20 years…not to age!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're so ineffective you couldn't even turn 11!" Darwin finds it ironic that Ketchum remained the protagonist of the Pokémon anime since he stayed the same age, also implying he remains immature.)
Over centuries, mankind has grown to be upright!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "It took millions of years for mankind to evolve!" The evolution of man shows that over time, humans have become upright in their manner of walking.)
Today, they need to Pokémon GO get a life!
(Darwin says that in today's world, humans have nothing better to do than play the mobile game, Pokémon GO, which was massively popular when the battle released.)
Hunched over touching balls with a phone in their hand,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Now they're hunched over cell phones playing with your balls!")
So I hypothesize this fight is the Descent of a PokéMan!
(The Descent of Man is a book by Darwin. He predicts that this battle will see Ketchum's fall, or loss, making a pun on "Pokémon" and "Man.")
If the power is inside, cough it up!
(This references the line in the Pokémon theme song, "Each Pokémon to understand the power that's inside." Darwin says if Ketchum really has the power, he should show it.)
You can trade all you want; you're still the master of none,
(Despite how many Pokémon Ketchum trades, he was not able to become the Pokémon Master he dreamt of being. This may also be a reference to the figure of speech "Jack of All Trades, Master of None", which refers to a person who has dabbled in multiple skills but has not gained expertise on a single one.)
And it doesn't matter how many badges you earn!
(Darwin says Ketchum's Pokémon Badges from beating gym leaders won't mean anything to him.)
I keep spitting those burns to put Ash in an urn!
(Darwin says his disses will make Ketchum burn, and the burn effect is also one of the five major status conditions in the Pokémon games. Darwin makes a pun on Ketchum's first name, Ash, as an urn is a vessel used to hold the burnt ashes of a cremated body.)
Not family! This is natural order and no lesser!
(See "Not family! This is the cycle that we are born from,")
Now prepare to be uprooted by an actual professor!
(Darwin tells Ketchum to prepare to be destroyed by someone with an actual scientific mind, instead of a fake professor like Oak. As a pun on Oak's name coming from a plant, Darwin says he would uproot Ketchum in the same way a plant is removed from the ground it needs to survive.)
Generations of evolution has made me the most fit
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection!" This also references the Pokémon generations, or the grouping of the Pokémon games. Charles Darwin also boasts about the scientific knowledge and wisdom that he has earned over many years of study. )
To shit on unscientific metamorphosis!
(Darwin claims Pokémon evolution is simply the non-scientific version of metamorphosis, (a transformation process most common in insects and amphibians), which is a more accurate description of the changes most Pokémon go through when converting to their next stage of their evolutionary line.)
The process you misdefine is how we adapt,
(Darwin then says that Ketchum's version of evolution is incorrect, and wrongly explains how humans developed.)
And based on your league record, that's something you can't grasp!
(Ketchum has never won a Pokémon League, so Darwin thinks this is the reason he is incapable of understanding it.)
Ash Ketchum:
Darwin wants to battle? He's gonna Dar-lose
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight!" Ketchum makes a pun on Darwin's surname, saying that he won't Dar-"win" in this battle, but Dar-"lose" instead.)
To the very best! Isn't that right, Pikachu?
(This references the line in the Pokémon theme song, "I wanna be the very best." Ketchum says Darwin will lose to him in the battle, asking Pikachu for reassurance since he is often used for battles.)
I'm a Fire-type rapper; got a Pallet in my pack
(Fire-type is a type of Pokémon, and Pallet Town is where Ketchum lives in the Pokémon anime. Ketchum says his lyrics will burn Darwin like a Fire-type Pokémon, and he has a pallet containing…)
With a natural-list of elements to kick your grass!
(…a list of elements and Pokémon to beat Darwin. Grass-type is another type of Pokémon, and grass is a pun on ass.)
This ain't no glitch; I'll be missing no hits!
(Ketchum says that his verse won't glitch, and he won't lose to Darwin. also a play on the MissingNo glitch.)
You got theories getting split by critics in 8 bits!
(Darwin's theories of evolution are often criticized and disbelieved by people who believe that all organisms were created by God (mostly conservative Christians and Muslims). 8-bit is the name given to the type of pixelated gameplay which is featured in the Pokémon games.)
A wild scientist appeared, and he's going ape shit,
("A wild [Pokémon] appeared" is a common phrase in the Pokémon games when a Pokémon appears for battle. Ketchum makes a pun on Darwin's research of apes, saying he's going ape shit, or crazy.)
So he gave his first cousin his trainer tip!
(Trainer Tips are signposts containing hints in the Pokémon games. "Tip" also refers to the tip of the penis, and Ketchum says Darwin going crazy like an ape made him have sex with his first cousin.)
And it's not very effective when you travel the globe
("It's not very effective…" is a phrase in the Pokémon games used when a Pokémon attack is a type that the opposing Pokémon is resistent to. Ketchum says Darwin's travels and discoveries aren't very effective.)
To spend five years with seamen, studying homos!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick!" Darwin studied overseas and developed theories leading to the evolution of Homo sapiens from an ape-like ancestor. "Seamen" is a pun on semen, but it also refers to the sailors Darwin spent time with on the HMS Beagle. "Homo" is a derogatory term for a homosexual man.)
Which Pokémon are you? My dex don't know,
(Ketchum's Pokédex gives him information on every Pokémon from the series, but Ketchum says it couldn't even tell him who Darwin is.)
But the rap on this track's one-hit K.O.!
(One-hit knockout moves reduce the opponent's HP from a full amount to zero. Ketchum says he has beaten Darwin in this battle.)
Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fair fight,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight!")
But this should be fun! I'm yet to catch a Ghost type!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "But this should be fun! I've yet to catch the Ghost type!")
I spit ice-cold rhymes, and your ass is grass!
(In Pokémon games, Ice-type moves are super effective towards Grass-type Pokémon. "Your ass is grass" is also a phrase used to foretell someone's demise. Ketchum simply says that he will severely beat Darwin in the battle.)
I'm the champion; you could never beat me!
(According to Cam Greely, one of the guest writers of this battle, this line was meant to take the place of "You got candy raps: Reese's Pieces" because instead of being a generic line, it was relevant to Ketchum and Pokémon; however, ERB favored the final line instead. Ironically, at the time this battle was released, he had not won a single Pokémon League to become a champion.[1])
Your attract is so ineffective you gave your cousin your trainer tip!
("Attract" is a Pokémon move, and Trainer Tips are signposts containing hints in the Pokémon games, and "tip" also refers to the tip of the penis. Ketchum says that Darwin couldn't attract anyone, so he had to have sex with his own cousin.)
All your burns have been squelched by my flow!
(Ketchum says that his flow has reduced Darwin's burns to nothing.)
There's no need for part two; it's a one-hit K.O.!
(See "But the rap on this track's one-hit K.O.!")
Spittin' ice-cold rhymes, and your ass is just grass!
(See "I spit ice-cold rhymes, and your ass is grass!")
But right now, I need a weak verse; I choose you!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "But when I need a weak verse, I choose you!")
Charles Darwin:
You can't catch 'em all when you don't have the balls!
(To "have the balls" means to be brave enough to do something, but Darwin also makes a pun on Poké Balls, the items essential for catching Pokémon. He implies Ketchum would not be able to do as the Pokémon slogan, "Gotta catch 'em all!", says to do since he doesn't capture often. This may also refer to how Ash Ketchum has remain 10 years old throughout the series, and thus has not undergone puberty. )
I'm a decorated fellow; you still haven't evolved,
(Darwin was famous for the theory of evolution. Darwin claims that while he is decorated with fame, Ketchum hasn't evolved into a proper man yet, once again taking a jab at Ketchum having remained 10 years old throughout the series.)
So when you and your little rat try to give me a shock,
(Darwin warns Ketchum that before he tries to use his Pikachu against him…)
Just remember, you've lost to every champion you fought!
(…he should remember that he lost to every other previous Pokémon Champion he has battled, so he shouldn't take a chance with Darwin.)
On the Origin of Species, we grow as a population,
(On the Origin of Species is a book by Darwin, and he explains that we are an ever-growing population.)
Revising, but not restarting, as we move through generations.
(Darwin says that as we move on through life, we adapt instead of starting over. This may also reference the ability to restart Pokémon games.)
These survival traits are nature's fate to pick and choose,
(After all, it is nature who decides who has the better survival traits.)
And I see an endangered species when I Pikachu!
(Pikachu is a pun on the words "peek at you." Darwin calls Ketchum endangered like the species that he observed to have been close to extinction due to their weaker qualities.)
If to Ketchum was your real test, then you scored an F!
(Ash's last name, Ketchum, is a pun on the series' slogan, "Gotta catch 'em all!" Ketchum's dream is to catch all of the Pokémon, but he only caught 68 out of the current amount at the time the battle was out, which is well below the hundreds throughout the series, meaning it would be a failing grade.)
What you call evolution is short of metamorphosis!
(Pokémon evolution does not follow the long process that real-life evolution goes through, and immediate change in a species' body more closely resembles metamorphosis instead.)
Now, the force of biology is how we reproduce!
(Darwin explains that humans reproduce through biology.)
It's called natural selection, and it won't choose you!
(Darwin's theory of natural selection shows the process of survival to produce more offspring. Darwin says that Ketchum won't be chosen to survive using his signature catchphrase, "I choose you!")
What you call evolution is mere shapeshifting!
(Darwin says that Pokémon don't actually evolve, just shapeshift.)
Against a kid not smart enough to evolve a Pikachu!
(Ketchum has attempted to evolve his Pikachu into a Raichu on three occasions, but all three attempts resulted in him not evolving.)
This battle's natural selection, and it won't choose you!
(See "It's called natural selection, and it won't choose you!")
Ash Ketchum:
You act like your novels have ever been Red!
(Red is the main character in the Pokémon games, and Ketchum makes a pun on his name, saying that nobody reads Darwin's novels.)
Like Team Rocket, I'll have to put you on blast again
("Team Rocket's blasting off again!" is a cry originating from the Pokémon anime when Team Rocket geta defeated by Ketchum and his Pokémon, usually resulting in them being flown into the sky. Ketchum says he will beat Darwin and "put him on blast" like he does Team Rocket.)
'Cause you said it: the measurement of worth is a friendship,
(Ketchum says value is measured by your friendships.)
And my Pokédex has more entries than your friends list!
(Ketchum then says that his Pokédex contains more entries of Pokémon than the entries Darwin has on his friends list.)
I'm a trainer, a battler, a capturer, a master!
(Ketchum is a Pokémon Trainer who battles and captures Pokémon, hoping to be a Pokémon master.)
The physical appearance of our fitness doesn't matter!
(Ketchum then says that our physical fitness doesn't have anything to do with how good we are.)
It's the bonds we share that build the strength we can bear,
(Instead, the friendship bonds that we share are what builds our strength and help us grow.)
And you have about as much as your head has hair!
(Ketchum then makes fun of Darwin's friendship, saying he has as many bonds as his head has hair, meaning he doesn't have many friends.)
So I don't need to evolve; my team is strong the way we are!
(Ketchum says him and his Pokémon team are perfectly strong without evolution.)
Every single diss you throw at me, I'm gonna catch 'em all!
("Gotta catch 'em all!" is the Pokémon motto. Ketchum says that he will catch and ignore every diss Darwin says to him.)
Pika, use a sick bar as your finishing move!
(Ketchum orders Pikachu to finish off his verse with a sick bar against Darwin.)
Pikachu:
Pik…a…ACHOO!
(Sick refers to being very good, but also typically refers to being ill. Pikachu literally finishes with a sick bar and sneezes as he is calling his name, most likely using a big electric shock against Darwin. This is also a reference to the Pokémon anime series where Pokémon would only say it's name.)
Charles Darwin:
Missed! I didn't even flinch!
("[Pokémon]'s attack missed!" is a phrase used in the Pokémon games when an attack misses the opponent. Flinching is when a Pokémon becomes unable to attack for one turn. Darwin says that Pikachu's attack missed him and didn't even make him flinch.)
Tell me how imaginary creatures are stronger than my finch!
(Darwin wonders how Ketchum thinks his imagination of fictional creatures can beat the real world's animals, including a bird like a finch.)
Ash Ketchum:
Electric's super effective! You know we won't be losing
("It's super effective!" is a phrase used in the Pokémon games when an attack does a lot of damage. Ketchum says Pikachu's moves are super effective, and he won't lose. Additionally, this line may have been a follow up to Darwin's line about finches. In the Pokémon games, Electric type moves are super effective against Flying type Pokémon, most of which resemble birds.)
To a dude who watched a monkey poop and called it evolution!
(Darwin spent a lot of his time searching for and researching animals such as monkeys. Ketchum says that Darwin spent his life watching monkeys excrete and claiming it to be evolution.)
Charles Darwin:
You claim to conquer monsters, but your heart is so delicate!
(Darwin doesn't believe Ketchum can conquer Pokémon due to him being so soft. Stronger Pokémon like his Charizard in the first season often did not obey Ketchum in battle, and in the games, having less gym badges mean higher-leveled Pokémon won't attack.)
Your mom asked me to revoke your gym membership!
(A gym membership is a dedication to a pay-as-you-go gym so you can visit anytime you like. Pokémon Gyms are places where Trainers go to train their Pokémon. Darwin says that Ash's mom told him to end Ash's gym membership, meaning he isn't worthy of handling or training Pokémon, but also referring to real gyms, saying Ash is too weak to exercise in a gym.)
Ash Ketchum:
Your heart fainted! You can't revive it to attack us!
(A Revive is an item from the Pokémon games used to revive a fainted Pokémon. Ketchum makes fun of Darwin being dead, meaning he can't come back and fight him.)
You could use a gym; this ain't survival of the fattest!
(Ketchum retorts against Darwin's gym membership diss, saying that Darwin should exercise his body more. "Survival of the fattest" is a pun on Darwin's theory, survival of the fittest.)
Charles Darwin:
What's a life of learning to a boy who's never grown?
(Darwin asks how Ketchum can know what a life of learning is considering he never grows up.)
Like the first movie, you're forever froze in an Everstone!
(An Everstone is an item that prevents a Pokémon from evolving. Pokémon: The First Movie is a 1998 movie where Ketchum is frozen in stone by being caught between attacks sent by Mewtwo and Mew. Darwin says that Ketchum's development has frozen in his age like how he was frozen in the first movie, once again a jab at Ketchum having remained 10 years old throughout the series.)
Ash Ketchum:
You forgot something in the mortal words of your journal:
(Ketchum claims Darwin forgot to write in his journal that…)
The world of my journey and dreams is eternal!
(…Ketchum's Pokémon world and journey is forever living on as they remain popular even after many years, likely continuing to do so due to its fanbase, until his retirement in 2023 with Liko and Roy replacing him in Pokémon Horizons: The Series.)
Charles Darwin:
I've been catching critters before you were a Squirtle in your daddy's Poké Balls!
(Squirtle is a Water-type Pokémon, and Poké Balls are the items that hold Pokémon. Darwin says that he has been discovering animals before Ketchum was merely a sperm, or Squirtle, in his father's testicles.)
I'm sailing the championship that you never won,
(Darwin is known for sailing with the HMS Beagle to discover evolutionary patterns in animals, and he says he will cruise his way to the championship like he would be capable of defeating the current champion, also taunting Ketchum for being unable to do so.)
You little grunt! You're soft like a Jigglypuff!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "It's kid's stuff! You're soft like a Jigglypuff!" Darwin calls Ketchum a grunt, likely meaning an annoying person, and this references the Team Rocket grunts that battle the trainer in the first Pokémon games. Later villainous teams also have grunts as a class of Pokémon trainer, who are henchmen to the team's boss, so Darwin may also imply Ketchum is an underling.)
You got no Game, Boy, so you better choose quick!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You got no Game, Boy, so you'll get the broom quick!" This may refer to choosing a Starter Pokémon that trainers need to start their journey.)
Your glorified dogfights just make my heart sick!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Your animated slave fights make me sick!")
I'd say you're an even worse trainer than Michael Vick!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Look, Mighty Morphin' Michael Vick.")
Ash Ketchum:
My six balls are a lady's dream team!
(Ketchum's outfit has room for six Poké Balls. In the Pokemon world, trainers are only allowed to carry six Pokemon with them at any given time and these Pokemon are normally carried in Poke balls. He says that his six balls, making a pun on testicles, are a woman's dream.)
Yo, ummm, just in case you didn't know,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Yo, ummm, real quick?")
This dude spent five years with sea men studying homos!
(See "To spend five years with seamen, studying homos!")
You're bugging; it's the old man glitch disease!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea!" Besides being a possible meaning to Bug-type Pokémon and insect creatures Darwin collected, Ketchum says Darwin is "bugging," or being annoying, but also has bugs that can be found in Pokémon games, leading to glitches. He says this means Darwin has a disease making him act this way and references the Old Man Glitch.)