Captain Kirk
Captain Kirk Title Card
EpicLLOYD as Captain Kirk
Character information
Full name James Tiberius Kirk
Nickname(s) Jim
First appearance September 8, 1966
Star Trek: The Original Series
Born March 22, 2233
Riverside, Iowa
Died 2371
Veridian III
Physical description
Hair Brown
Eyes Hazel
Based on
Captain Kirk Based On
Rap battle information
Appeared in Christopher Columbus vs Captain Kirk
Vs Christopher Columbus
Release date October 10, 2011
Official vote(s) 39% (Old poll from ERB Website)
Location(s) Vulcan's Forge
A shore

I'm the…enterprising captain, James…Tiberius Kirk.
— Captain Kirk

Captain Kirk battled Christopher Columbus in Christopher Columbus vs Captain Kirk. He was portrayed by EpicLLOYD

Information on the rapper

Captain James Tiberius Kirk is a character from CBS' Star Trek franchise. He was born in Riverside, Iowa, on March 22nd, 2233. He is the only student at Starfleet Academy to defeat the Kobayashi Maru test. He became the youngest captain when he was given command of the USS Enterprise.

Kirk is best known for his independence and unorthodox problem solving, winning the loyalty and respect of most who grew to know him. Many of his actions as captain and later as admiral, however, ran afoul of the Starfleet Prime Directive, a universal law urging noninterference with races less developed than those in the Federation, in turn drawing the ire of his superiors. Nonetheless, Kirk possessed a strong motivation to do what was right, even if it meant breaking the rules.

In the year 2371, Kirk was located in the temporal rift called the Nexus by 24th-century Starfleet Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise-D and summoned to defend the planet Veridian III with Picard versus the tyrant Soran, who had been bent on causing its sun to explode and thereby obliterating the planet, along with the Nexus, for his own ends. The two captains succeeded in stopping the cataclysm, but Kirk was killed in the final battle. Picard later laid him to rest on the planet's surface.

He was played most famously through three TV seasons (1966-1968) and seven feature films in the following 30 years by William Shatner. Although Shatner's portrayal of Kirk was made comical by a distinctive speech pattern of frequent pauses and oddly overemphasized syllables, it came to define the character as a fan favorite.


I'm. Captain James Tiberius Kirk. Of the. USS Enterprise on the. Television show "Star Trek." I was. Portrayed by the ravishingly handsome William Shatner. Spoken word artist, ACTOR! And Spokesman for. On Star Trek. Me and my crew of Spock, Sulu, Scotty, Uhura, Chekov and Dr. "Bones" McCoy would. Hurdle through space from. Planet to. Planet. Meeting sexy women and fighting. For our lives against the. Evil Klingon villains. I recorded it all. On my. Captain's Log. It was. A. Glorious 79 episodes! The show went on. To be. Idolized and spawned five other TV shows and ELEVEN movies. My favorite. Of course! Was "Wrath of Khan," where I got to shout. "KAAAAAHHNNN!!!" I love acting that loud. I'll see you. In Space……..the FINAL frontier!


Verse 1:

I'm the…enterprising captain, James…Tiberius Kirk,

Representing Riverside Iowa, planet…Earth.

I…hear you call yourself an explorer, but I'm just not having it.

You…discovered a new world that was already inhabited!

Why don't you…boldly go someplace you've never gone before?

Like India, or…any destination you've actually set sail for.

You spaghetti-eating fuck! How's your spice rack doing?

I'll be…chilling in my spaceship. Have fun canoeing.

Verse 2:

Mr. Spock, beam me back to 1492 so I can beat this man like it's my…job.

We'll see how Isabella likes my…captain's log.

It's…Kobayashi for you. There's no way you could win.

When your…weak crew sees me approaching, they'll be like, "Dammit, it's Jim!"

I'll double-fist punch you, you slave-making bitch!

Now…take your genocidal ass off of my bridge.


  • Kirk is the first fictional rapper associated with time-travel.
    • He is also the first fictional character to originate from a TV show.
  • He is the second character from a notable sci-fi franchise to appear in an ERB, after Darth Vader.
  • The way he raps is a reference to the way his actor in the original TV series, William Shatner, deliver his lines in the show.
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