I…hear you call yourself an explorer, but I'm just not having it.
You…discovered a new world that was already inhabited!
Why don't you…boldly go someplace you've never gone before?
Like India, or…any destination you've actually set sail for.
You spaghetti-eating fuck! How's your spice rack doing?
I'll be…chilling in my spaceship. Have fun canoeing.
You know, rapping against you, it's not even fun.
It's like somebody set your brains on stun!
I am the fabric of history! You are a fictional stain!
I'll stick a flag up your ass and claim you for Spain!
Mr. Spock, beam me back to 1492 so I can beat this man like it's my…job.
We'll see how Isabella likes my…captain's log.
It's…Kobayashi for you. There's no way you could win.
When your…weak crew sees me approaching, they'll be like, "Dammit, it's Jim!"
I'll double-fist punch you, you slave-making bitch!
Now…take your genocidal ass off of my bridge.
Keep my crew's name out of your mouth or you'll get hurt.
I'll Leif Ericson your ass and predate your best work.
Yeoman Rand and Marlena gave you too many favors.
Bones diagnosed, you got sores on your phaser!
Footage of Nice Peter and EpicLLOYD doing a live performance of this battle was leaked on YouTube several days before the official battle was released.
On August 22nd, 2016, "Beaming up Season 5.5 videos as soon as we can!" was written in the description of the video.
This battle was originally titled "Columbus vs Captain Kirk", before being changed to include Columbus' first name.
This battle was originally going to be Christopher Columbus vs Neil Armstrong; however, it was later switched to Columbus vs Captain Kirk. This is because, during research, Nice Peter thought Neil was "unflappable", and that there wouldn't be anything bad to diss him for.
Nice Peter showed two hints as to who the battle was between on his channel NicePeterToo. One was in the Monday Show episode "Monday is for New Rules", which showed them performing without costumes. The other was in the episode "Monday Shows Continue Despite", which showed them in costumes.
The sunrise in the sequence before the announcer introduces the battle may be a reference to the opening of the 1968 film 2001: A Space Oddysey.
Incidentally, HAL 9000, the primary antagonist of the film, appeared in a later battle.