Harry Houdini:
You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini!
(Houdini was originally a contortionist, so he is able to perform escape stunts that a regular human body wouldn't be able to get out of. He opens his verse saying that his body is unlike any other.)
Slippery like linguine, sneaking outta teeny-weenie,
(Houdini continues, stating that he is able to easily escape from the smallest of traps, and therefore he is "slippery", much like linguine, a thin and flat Italian pasta.)
Little spaces small enough to fit your talent, David!
(Houdini claims that Copperfield has very little talent, and that it is of an amount small enough to fit in the boxes or cases that he (Houdini) could escape from.)
You're not a challenge, David!
(Houdini doesn't see Copperfield as a worthy opponent in this battle.)
Your biggest endowment's your bank account balances, baby!
(Houdini states that Copperfield's only major characteristic is the amount of money he has. Copperfield has a net worth of $1 billion.)
So abracadabra, you billowy bitch!
(Abracadabra is a stereotypical magician word usually used as an indication a trick is being performed, one such trick being causing someone to disappear, which Houdini indicates Copperfield should do. Billowing can often be associated with loose clothes in the wind. Copperfield is iconic for wearing a loose shirt that billows. It may also be a reference to billowing smoke, a common trick of magicians to hide their tricks. Houdini is calling Copperfield an amateur who uses smoke in his illusions.)
Man, you look like a pirate on the Las Vegas strip!
(Copperfield has his own stage that he performs in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand Hotel & Casino, close to the Treasure Island Hotel, former home of the "Sirens of TI", a nightly show on the Las Vegas Strip (the downtown corridor on which many of Vegas' top resorts can be found) about Sirens engaging pirates. Houdini says that Copperfield looks like a pirate that would be on that show. Pirates are also known for being notorious thieves, so Houdini could be calling Copperfield a thief who takes people's money for mediocre performances.)
I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil; you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag!
(One of Houdini's tricks was swallowing a whole line of needles. Here, he says he spits out, or regurgitates, the needles as evil, or harsh lines. Flash paper is a very thin and fragile sheet of paper used by magicians that can be very easily ripped or torn, and is highly flammable. Houdini is suggesting that Copperfield is so incompetent that he couldn't even manage to escape from a bag made out of light material.)
I'm badder with patter and matter of fact, you can't match all my skill if you sawed me in half!
('Patter', in this case, refers to the rapid and amusing delivery of speech by performers or comedians. Houdini says that he is badder, a slang term for 'very good', than Copperfield at this particular action. Sawing a person in half is a very popular magic act, and Copperfield did it to himself in his Death Saw trick. Houdini continues to jab at Copperfield for having little skill compared to him, and even goes as far as saying that even if someone did this trick on him, he would still have more skill than Copperfield because Copperfield has nowhere near half of Houdini's skill.)
David Copperfield:
When I was a child, you were a god to me. I had to do what you do.
(Copperfield admits that Houdini was his childhood inspiration to get into magic. He performed magic from an early age, aspiring to be the famous magician he is known as today. This could also be a reference to how Nice Peter (who plays Copperfield in this battle) considers David Copperfield to be one of his childhood heroes.[1])
Now, you're like a Chinese wall to me. Bitch, I'll walk right through you.
(Despite looking up to Houdini previously, Copperfield now compares him to the Great Wall of China, which he famously walked through as one of his stunts, and he says that he'll do the same to Houdini, walking right through him to victory as if he didn't exist.)
This ain't the magic that you're used to.
(Over the years, modern magicians such as Copperfield have been able to come up with and performed new magic tricks, such as the levitation of themselves and/or others, walking on water, bringing paintings to life, etc, many of which would have been unfamiliar or even impossible to do in Houdini's time.)
I float a rose, hands free, like it's Bluetooth.
(Bluetooth is a short-range radio system that allows small devices such as cell phones and game consoles to exchange data and share capabilities. Bluetooth radios are most often found in wireless ("hands-free") speakerphones, to which this line refers. Copperfield says that his magic is quite advanced compared to Houdini's as he can even make a rose float without using his hands.)
My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant.
(Copperfield says his illusions are much grander than Houdini's magic, which he compares to "parlor tricks" (which are simple magic tricks that are easy to execute) and says that such pathetic magic would leave him forgotten.)
The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant.
(Following up from his previous line, Copperfield uses as an example the moment when he famously made New York City's Statue of Liberty (or "Lady Liberty") disappear in 1983 in order to demonstrate the value of freedom and independence as well as how easily it can be lost. This act won him the Guinness World Record for the largest object made to disappear by a magician. Similarly, Houdini had done so likewise with an elephant years earlier in 1918. The enormity of the statue compared to a mere elephant makes Copperfield claim he is superior to Houdini.)
You failed at making movies, and you failed at making kids.
(Copperfield is mocking Houdini's poor film career and the fact that he didn't have any children due to his wife Bess being sterile. By contrast, despite never having married, Copperfield has three children from his two partners. )
You should stick to what you're good at and lock them lips!
(Continuing on from the last line, Copperfield tells Houdini to do something he's good at, such as being locked up, whilst also telling him to stay silent. This may also be a reference to the practice that magicians never reveal their secrets. It may also be referencing Houdini's affairs with women while he was married to Bess, as to lock lips is to kiss.)
(Ooh!) Here's a tidbit that might drive you nuts:
(A tidbit is a small piece of gossip or information. Copperfield will tell Houdini some information, which he claims could drive Houdini insane.)
I bought half your shit, and I keep it locked up!
(Copperfield has amassed a large amount of magic memorabilia. His collection has cost him upwards of $200 million and includes the world's largest Harry Houdini museum. Roughly half of Houdini's belongings are owned by Copperfield, and like its previous owner, he keeps them locked up and does not display them to the public.)
Got the slim fingers that were built for sleights.
(Copperfield claims he has nimble fingers that were made for "sleights", referring to sleight of hand, the hand methods and finger techniques used by magicians which commonly involves making things appear and disappear quickly. This may also be a play on words on 'slights' which are insults.)
You're a chunky stuntman dressed in tights!
(Houdini is famous for his daring escapes. Copperfield disses Houdini's clothing and calls him overweight while referencing how in films, stuntmen are used for doing such escapes, so calling Houdini a stuntman elevates Copperfield to the primary actor. This can also create a contrast between Copperfield's "slim" stature and Houdini's "chunky" figure, along with the previous line.)
You talk shit about your hero; that ain't right,
(Houdini idolized French magician Jean Eugène Robert-Houdin and based his stage name on his, incorrectly believing that adding an "i" at the end of a name meant "like" in French. He later lost respect for him and published The Unmasking of Robert-Houdin in 1908, calling him a liar and a fraud. Ironically, Copperfield insults his childhood hero, Houdini, much like how Houdini insulted his childhood hero, Robert-Houdin, which he refers as "talking shit about his hero".)
But you can look up to me now. I know you like heights!
(Copperfield continues from the last line, calling himself Houdini's hero and someone he would "look up to" or take inspiration from, a contrast to Copperfield looking up to Houdini when he was younger. He also refers to how he was often suspended over something during his daring escapes, such as over the Hudson River. Copperfield says that he is far above Houdini in a metaphorical sense, being substantially greater and thus above Houdini, in saying that Houdini can look up to him, whilst continuing this metaphor. Houdini was also famous for height-related stunts and took an interest in aviation, buying a plane in hopes of being the first man to fly a plane in Australia.)
Harry Houdini:
(Ah!) Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing!
(Houdini calls Copperfield's magic tricks not only a comedy act like the ones the late American stand-up comedian Bob Saget did, but he claims that it is just a rip-off from other magicians. This may also refer to the physical resemblance David Copperfield has to Bob Saget. To top it all off, he claims Copperfield should be ashamed of it instead of bragging. Saget died in January 2022 from a fall in which he struck his head.)
You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!
(Houdini says Copperfield's magic and influence to the magic industry was the most pathetic thing since Magic: The Gathering, a popular trading card game created in 1993. The game is ridiculed for being a common card game played among nerds, and people who become addicted to playing it can spend a large amount of money buying cards for the game.)
I'm hanging by my ankles; from a crane, I dangle!
(Houdini performed numerous acts that involved him hanging upside-down, the most famous of these tricks was the Chinese Torture Water Cell. To make this even more spectacular, he would sometimes hang from a crane high up in the air, usually in chains or with a straitjacket.)
I got lox on my bagel that you couldn't handle!
(A lox is a type of salmon, often used in sandwiches and bakery items such as bagels. It is also a pun on "locks", a staple in magic tricks related to escaping, which Houdini has done multiple times. Houdini says that Copperfield couldn't handle a simple slice of meat, let alone an actual escaping act. This is also a reference to both Copperfield's and Houdini's Jewish backgrounds: bagels and lox are a stereotypical Ashkenazi Jewish breakfast.)
Smash your mirrors, leave your flying wires tangled,
(Mirrors and flying wires are two common stunt pieces used by magicians to create illusions. Houdini will hit so hard with his verse that he'll mess up Copperfield's props.)
And you can't hide shame with a camera angle!
(Many of Copperfield's tricks involve the angle that the camera is held at. Houdini exposes Copperfield's success as camera tricks and shames him for it.)
Criss Angel:
Did somebody say Angel?
(Criss Angel, another modern illusionist, mistakes the word "angle" for "Angel" and tries to butt his way in.)
Harry Houdini:
No.
(Houdini confirms he did not, in fact, mention Angel.)
Criss Angel:
Oh…
(Angel is saddened by this fact.)
David Copperfield:
See what they'd be watching if it wasn't for me?
(Angel is known for the somewhat dark themes in his performances, which he is sometimes mocked for. Copperfield insults Houdini, saying that without him (Copperfield), people would be stuck watching someone like Angel.)
I remind the world that magic is supposed to make you happy!
(Copperfield believes magic should be entertaining and uplifting, unlike Angel's and Houdini's more serious takes on it.)
While you waste time proving everybody wrong,
(Besides doing tricks, Houdini constantly exposed many mediums, seances, occultists, and psychics as frauds who took advantage of people's situation to earn money, most notably when he revealed one of the most famous duos, Mina Crandon and her husband, as fraudulent. By doing this, Copperfield says Houdini also ruins all the fun magic is supposed to bring.)
I'm backstage getting my supermodel groove on!
(Claudia Schiffer (Copperfield's ex-partner) and Chloe Gosselin (Copperfield's current partner) are both supermodels. Copperfield brags about getting attractive women backstage with him.)
You should relax. Take a private trip
(Since Houdini was an insomniac and has kept the tension high for most of the battle, due to focusing so hard on his work whereas Copperfield's raps have been somewhat gentler, Copperfield suggests that Houdini should calm down by taking a vacation to...)
To my private island; suck my private dick!
(...Copperfield's chain of eleven islands in the Bahamas and suck his dick as a fellatio (i.e. an act forced upon somebody the receiver deems a lesser person as an act of humiliation). By mentioning this, Copperfield also brags about his wealth. Copperfield also boasts that he saves himself only for his "supermodels", practically making his genitals "private" which is a pun as genitals are usually referred to as "privates". The line is also referencing the term "private dick" which refers to an investigator-for-hire, a job Houdini took up later in life. )
(Uh!) I'll summon up a little Halloween brunch:
(On the anniversary of Houdini's death, which happens to fall on Halloween, a séance is performed for him. Copperfield plans to serve up a Halloween-themed meal, elaborated upon in the next line.)
Deep-fried sucker with a side of punch!
(A pun on sucker-punch: Houdini was killed from a ruptured appendix after failing to flex his abdominals to brace for the impact of a punch as a trick. Punch, usually served as a drink at parties, could be considered part of a Halloween party meal, and a lollipop, also called a sucker, is a type of candy usually given out on Halloween. Further elaboration can be made in which Houdini is correlated as a "deep-fried sucker", sucker coming from the magician's term "Sucker Effect", which means someone who thinks they know how to do a magic trick but are proven wrong, referring to Houdini exposing frauds or an insult that Houdini doesn't know how to do magic in general, with deep-fried defining to the rap slang of "getting burned", which is when a rapper insults an opponent badly. Plus, deep-fried food is a contributor of weight gain, which could be another jab at Houdini being fatter than Copperfield. A sucker is also a person who is easily fooled, so Copperfield could be making fun of Houdini mistakenly believing he could perform the trick that lead to his demise; it could also be a continuation of his previous line of "suck my private dick," giving another connection to the sucker-term. Furthermore, "a side of punch" may refer to the area of appendix: the lower-right abdomen.)
Scrapped lyrics
Harry Houdini:
Abracadabra, you silly little billowy bitch!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "So abracadabra, you billowy bitch!")
You look like a skinny pirate off the Las Vegas strip!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Man, you look like a pirate on the Las Vegas strip!")
And that hair, are you really for real?
(Houdini insults Copperfield's large, flashy hair.)
You should change your stage name to David Cockatiel!
(A cockatiel is a bird with large feathers on its head, giving it the illusion of hair. Houdini compares Copperfield's hair to such bird's, saying he should change his stage name to better suit it.)
You couldn't break your way out of a flash paper bag!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil; you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag!")
You couldn't match up to my skill if you sawed it in half!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm badder with patter and matter of fact, you can't match all my skill if you sawed me in half!")
Let me give you something you just don't understand:
(Houdini prepares Copperfield for his next line.)
You're like a magic Bob Saget and I'm a fucking crazy man!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "(Ah!) Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing!" Houdini was known for taking on insane, crazy stunts in his act.)
I'm the daring Hungarian, escaping from cans,
(Houdini was a Hungarian emigrant. One of his famous tricks is the milk can escape, in which he is locked in a milk can full of water and must escape before he drowns.)
That are smaller than the ones you spray tan in!
(David Copperfield's tan is implied to be spray tan, which is a process in which a person is put in a chamber where a mist is applied to their skin that amplifies their melanin, artificially tanning them. Houdini brags that he can escape from chambers smaller than those just big enough for Copperfield to fit his own body into.)
I'm hanging in chains off of cranes and things,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm hanging by my ankles; from a crane, I dangle!", and the entire segment in which Houdini is suspended from a crane in a strait jacket in the battle.)
You're embarrassing to Magic like The Gathering!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!")
I put my life on the line every time I step in the lime light.
(Houdini's stunts and tricks are almost all very dangerous and deadly.)
I rhyme right, Magic Mike, you can't even lock down a wife!
(Houdini compares Copperfield to Magic Mike, a movie following a male stripper played by Channing Tatum, making a pun on Houdini's and Copperfield's occupation and the moniker of Tatum's character while saying Copperfield's shows are nothing but a flashy handsome guy dancing around on stage seducing women. Copperfield reportedly faked a relationship with model Claudia Schiffer, having announced their engagement in the mid-90s, but announcing the engagement off a few years later. Houdini says that Copperfield could try locking up Houdini, but his skills in locking things are evidently not good enough, as he cant even lock down a wife, or marry for a reasonable amount of time.)
You're not a magic man - nope, I'll like a milk can,
(Houdini denies Copperfield's status of magician and instead asks to see an act closer to his own.)
And when I smack you in the face it won't be a "sleight of hand"!
(Many of Copperfield's tricks are sleight of hands, the art of concealing and revealing hidden objects to the audience at will. Houdini mentions that him smacking Copperfield would be obvious and drawn-out, implying that it would hurt very much.)
Your tragic Bob Saget magic tricks should stick to TV land (Oooh!)
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "(Ah!) Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing!" TVLand is an American broadcast television channel. Houdini tells Copperfield to simply continue with insignificant television appearances.)
Rhymes are as sharp as the part in my hair (Ahhh!)
(Houdini had a well-kept (sharp) part down the center of his hair in most appearances, and he brags that his raps are as good as said part.)
Hungarian immigrant hunger; American flair,
(Houdini was born in Hungary and moved to America at age 4. He went on to become a huge American showman.)
Hanging 180 from cranes like a hundred and eighty feet up in the air!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm hanging by my ankles from a crane I dangle." "180" refers both to the height above the earth he's suspended, a dangerous and daunting height, and 180 degrees, a half rotation, referring to Houdini being rotated upside down as he dangles from a crane.)
I'm Harry Houdini! Holla if you see me!
(Houdini obligatorily to a rap announces his name and calls for people to acknowledge his presence elsewhere.)
Butt naked lock picker and a lyrical genie!
(One of Houdini's tricks include him being stripped naked (to assure he isn't obscuring keys or the like on his person) and constrained in locks and chains for him to escape from. A genie is a magical being that grants wishes. Houdini brags about his famous, near-impossible tricks and stunts, while also bragging that his raps are so good that they're magical.)
Meanwhile your act's so embarrassing it's staggering,
The whackest thing that's happening in Magic since The Gathering!
(These lyrics are what developed into the lyric, "You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering!")
I hang out on cranes chained to with ankle strained straitjacket on.
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm hanging by my ankles from a crane I dangle.")
You hang out with Carrot Top and Celine Dion!
(David Copperfield, Carrot Top, and Celine Dion are all top acts in Las Vegas. Houdini makes a pun on "hang out," saying that while Houdini dedicates his time to doing more tricks and stunts, Copperfield dedicates his time to hanging out with other celebrities.)
It's something you couldn't understand:
(Houdini offers something that Copperfield would have a difficult time understanding.)
You're a cheerful kind of showman; I'm a fucking crazy man!
(Houdini points out that Copperfield is too lighthearted to attempt to amaze and build suspense in an audience, which Houdini manages to do well, being a much more unstable person.)