Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 10

Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 10

Dis Raps for Hire - Episode 10: Gift Raps for Hire is the tenth installment of Dis Raps For Hire and the tenth and final episode of Season 1. In this episode, instead of dissing the usual ne'er-do-well, EpicLLOYD accepts a special Christmas request by thanking Leonski Crosby's mother, Elsie Metcalf, or Momma Metcalf. It was released on December 24th, 2012.


Yo, get back! It's Momma Metcalf!

So badass, she flip the script on Dis Raps!

Rattatattat, no gats!

That's just the sound bones make when punks get their necks cracked!

So crazy, she hangs with insane peeps

And shuts shit down when head cases get angry!

I gotta spit flows that are hotter than lava,

If'n I wanna give props to this awesome Momma!

So hard she births kids clad with sticks and armor!

No drama, not a drop, for this security officer,

'Cause lady ain't the type of chick you wanna fight with!

She's a stone cold killer! Even Conan likes this!

I ain't playing; she's running with the criminally insane!

Immune to Dis Raps so much, I hadda change the name!

Yo mama jokes about Elsie, they all start the same:

"Yo mama so— *gags*", then they just end in pain,

'Cause just her name in your mouth will choke you out, man!

She's like a 4-foot-nine little version of Bane!

Elsie, mum to one, Leon Crosby!

She tear more ass than cheap T.P.!

Dear Momma, you got a fan in your son, brung a man in the world, by the name Leon.

Dear Momma, this for everyone, wanna show the whole world we know where we're from.

Dear Momma, you got a fan in your son, brung a man in the world, by the name Leon.

Dear Momma, this is for us as much as him. Ma! Show us the grin!

About them skateboard joints that get your moms annoyed,

I say as long as you're employed, yo, it's all your choice!

At least you're moving, dog! You could be old and fat!

I'm thirty plus, spitting raps!

(Boy, you're too old for that!)

That broken ankle must have been painful!

Stick fighting will come in handy when you're working your cane, bro, so be thankful!

There's an endless amount of assholes to be torn,

And next year, I'll be back to rip into some more of 'em,

But today I got love for Ms. Metcalf,

And ma'am, please don't get distracted how I spit these raps!

My attacks shouldn't ruin the meaning, for some reason,

In front of this background, I need to be screaming,

So stand up, y'all! Push them shoulders back!

Respect, muthafuckas, ain't too old for that,

'Cause you only get one mom, and you know when she's gone,

You're gonna wish that you had wrote her a song, so get on it!


  • Santa Claus made a cameo at the beginning of the video where he was thrown out by Lloyd. He was portrayed by Aaron Krebs.
  • Due to the Gift Rap nature of the rap, this is the only Dis Rap in which Lloyd does not scream angrily after reading the requester's comment, instead saying, "Alright, maybe just this once."
  • This is the first Dis Raps not aimed at gaining revenge on people who have wronged the messenger; instead, it is aiming to compliment Ms. Metcalf for Leonski.
  • The line "even Conan likes this" is a reference to the fact that the suggestion for this Dis Rap was posted on Facebook. The post had one like by someone named Conan Kenning.
  • The "Dear Momma" portion of the song may be a reference to Tupac's song "Dear Mama".

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