Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 3

Dis Raps For Hire - Episode 3

Dis Raps for Hire - Episode 3 is the third installment of Dis Raps For Hire and the third episode of Season 1. In this episode, EpicLLOYD helps Zenxtro with a kid named Christian who is being spoiled by his father because he's rich. It was released on January 31st, 2012.


Alright! Yo, it's Dis Raps time; come and get you those!

I spit flows fresh as new Christmas clothes!

This blow bestowed for Zenxtro!

'Bout to cook Christian up with some hot Crisco!

Let's go! Say everything your teachers won't!

After this, that girl will wish that she never got stole!

And I'm not the only one who's saying something I agree with.

MakeMeSmash1: "You sound like a total cunt muffin!"

Ey, I can't blame a girl for trying to get paid, don't play.

In sixth grade, a hundred bucks goes a long way,

But think about bribing chicks and whether that's legal

Before you go around school threatening to sue some people!

I only need one reason to lyrically sear a bitch

And burn holes in your body 'til it's splotchy as my beard is!

Keep your hands off folks. Man, it's not their fault

That you're the ugly dude version of Veruca Salt!

I bring on sing song lyrical things that sting

Spoiled brats who get treated like kings,

But one thing no amount of money can buy

Is pride, big guy! No lie; know why?

'Cause you can only earn that over time, but don't cry.

Maybe you and daddy can save up and give it a try!

But why don't you be a man about it and do us all a solid,

And crawl your weak ass out of your father's wallet!

You're like The Toy, and now I'm an employed EpicLLOYD,

Hired to change your Facebook status to destroyed!

Go tell Dad that now you're getting treated like crap!

I'll get a mistletoe tat right on the flat of my back,

So he can stand under that and fucking kiss my ass!

You's just both got abused like the use of all these caps!

So when asked why your rich boy hair's outta place,

Say you caught a Dis Raps bitch-slap, square in the face. Peace!


  • Veruca Salt is a rich, spoiled character who was the second winner of a golden ticket in Roald Dahl's 1964 novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, as well as its 1971 and 2005 film adaptations.
    • In the on-screen lyrics, "Veruca" is misspelled as "Vercua".
  • The Toy is a 1982 film starring Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason about a son of a millionaire who owns a toy store. The son wishes that his toy is a live man, played by Richard Pryor. In the film, the son publicly humiliates Pryor's character.
  • At the start of each Dis Rap, after reading the requester's comment, Lloyd yells angrily. In this episode, he says, "Dirty, rotten, spoiled…!"
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