Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki
Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki
Doctor Seuss
Doctor Seuss Title Card.png
Mickey Meyer as Doctor Seuss
Character information
Birth name Theodor Seuss Geisel
Nickname(s) Dr. Seuss
Dr. Theophrastus Seuss
Theo LeSieg
Rosetta Stone
Born March 2, 1904
Springfield, Massachusetts
Died September 24, 1991 (aged 87)
La Jolla, California
Physical description
Hair Grayish-white (formerly black)
Eyes Brown
Based on
Doctor Seuss Based On.png
Rap battle information
Appeared in Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare
Vs William Shakespeare
Release date August 17, 2011
Official vote(s) 58% (Old poll from ERB Website)
Location(s) A red background
Dr. Seuss' storybook
Red and white stripes
A light-blue background

Doctor Seuss battled William Shakespeare in Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare. He did not rap himself; instead, he painted in three of his most famous children's book characters: the Cat in the Hat, portrayed by Nice Peter, and Things 1 & 2, both portrayed by EpicLLOYD, to rap for him. He was portrayed by Mickey Meyer.

Information on the rapper

Theodor Seuss Geisel was born on March 2nd, 1904, in Springfield, Massachusetts. He was an American writer, poet, and cartoonist, most widely known for his children's books written under the pseudonym, Dr. Seuss.

Seuss published 46 children's books throughout his career, often characterized by unusual characters, colorful images, simplistic rhymes, and a frequent use of trisyllabic meter. His most notable books include The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, Horton Hears a Who, The Lorax, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!.

On September 24th, 1991, Seuss died of throat cancer at the age of 87, in La Jolla, California. Today, limited-edition prints and sculptures of Seuss' artworks can be found at galleries alongside the works of Rembrandt, Picasso, and Miro.


There once was a man, Theodor Seuss Geisel was his name. His books were so wondrous, the fans they all came! He wrote books about boats and books about cats, and these cats were so crazy they often wore hats! The words were made up! Like Grinch and like Nool! In Nool lived Horton, an elephant, so cool! Seuss drew characters that caused havoc for me and for you, characters like Sneeches, plus Thing One and Thing Two! Oh, such worlds he created, making children elated, with the places he'd go, deep, but not complicated. But do you want to know the silliest, sneakiest, most hum-dingerist thing of all? This Dr. Seuss is me! He's not a character at all! A political cartoonist who had bigger stories to tell, and you know folks, I think, if I do say so myself, I tell and draw them pretty darn, diggily, wiggily, well!


Verse 1:

The Cat in the Hat:

I would not, could not, on a boat

Read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote!

Even Horton doesn't wanna hear you,

And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you!

You bore people to death!

You leave a classroom looking like the end of Macbeth!

I entertain a child of any age!

You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page!

How you gonna battle with the Cat in the Hat?

Little kids get scared when I step on the mat!

Think your ruffle-neck ass gonna rap to that?

I got a best-selling book about me coming back!

Verse 2:

The Cat in the Hat:

You rap fast, you do. Yes, you rap fast, it's true.

Now, let's see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2!

Things 1 & 2:

Oh, no, we'll smash your globe!

Yo, you may have wrote the script, but now we running the show!

You can take your fancy words and send 'em back home to your mama!

Break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas!

Man, we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs!

We'll break offa your legs. Make no mistake, we in a rage!

All does not end well when we bust out our cage!

You getting upstaged, Bill. Yo, you just got played!


  • Seuss is the second title rapper to be aided in rapping, after Hulk Hogan, as his storybook characters rapped for him.
    • This makes him the only title rapper not to rap. This was a reference to his throat cancer in real life, and was also was generally silent in public as he preferred to let his work speak for itself.