My jokes always had bite, you started out toothless
And you just kept talking, you wouldn't shut up.
Honestly, I'm glad you died. Fourteen specials was enough!
And Richard, can we talk? Can I call you Dick?
Like your fifth wife did when you remarried your sixth?
At this point, I've got more plastic than flesh,
But my Tupperware body couldn't keep your raps fresh!
(I think my pudding-)
So don't throw down with Rivers! The flow is too relentless!
I haven't thrashed celebrities this bad since The Apprentice!
I'm closing this battle! No one else compares!
The only place I'm in the middle is on Hollywood Squares!
Good morning, movie bombs! Nice shoulder pads, chief!
I'm a genie in the bottle for some comic relief!
O Carlin, my Carlin, what can I say about you?
Except I don't think you've had a good shit since 1962!
Mork aged backwards and Joan, you must too!
80 years old but that nose looks brand new! Nanu!
Yo Pryor, I Doubtfire makes a good shampoo!
Left you running down the street like "Oh, no!"
Comedy ain't easy, I've played plenty of dumps,
And believe me, we've all hit plenty of bumps.
(Yeah!) But now I've got the Flubber flows that'll get the club jumping!
You got second-hand raps. "Found 'em Good Will Hunting!"
Got more hair on my arms than a Monchhichi!
And I'll finish this battle like it's Jumanji!
I love the prince, but you'll never have a friend like me!
Thanks folks, that's my time! Gotta set myself free!
Scrapped lyrics and lyric ideas
I’m the golden glove champion of this shit
It doesn’t get more iconic black comic than this
I’ll drop you like the N-bomb after I got back from Africa
Thoughtful’s what they say after you go up
You’re right, I guess words change, we used to just say “you suck”
You look like an extra from Grumpy Old Men
Poetry on Attica
I ain’t mad atcha
…ass’ll get kicked
…back of the hip
Windowing shopping for street cred
You always make the lists of stand-ups near the top
But your movies ended up like your cheeks: flops!
I'm headlining this battle! No one else compares!
Except you haven’t had a good shit since 1962!
And yo Pryor, I Doubtfire makes a good shampoo!
Lit yourself up and ran down the street like "Oh, no!"
And the road ain't been easy, we've played plenty of dumps,
But I got the Flubber flows that'll get the club jumping!
You got second-hand raps. "Hey we found these Goodwill Hunting!"
That's my time now watch me set myself free!
But you couldn’t hold a candle to my success if you were granted three wishes!
But don’t hold candles Richard, we all know what happens then!
There’s a sweetness to comedy that all of you lack
And weird for me to end this battle with that
But I’m here to bring a little bit of joy back
Being good at comedy doesn’t mean you’re always on the attack
It doesn’t take a genius to know a guy as manic as me
Thanks for opening for me
More and money
Dead Poetic Society
A hairy sweaty mess
Comedy is tragedy
Night at the Museum
This battle was written in conjunction with members of the ERB Patreon. Patrons in the "Writer" and "Director" tiers on Discord were able to submit lines for the rappers, which were then incorporated into the battle. As well, the addition of Robin Williams was a result of requests from patrons upon being told the matchup.
This is the fourth-longest rap battle to date, with an overall rapping time of 3:18.
Counting Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge and Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible, where a multitude of rappers serve as a gauntlet for their singular opponent, it is the fifth "cavalcade battle" as termed by Lloyd.
The first beat from this battle appears at the end of "Nice Peter's Favorite Rap Battle. s." and during the behind the scenes for Ronald McDonald vs The Burger King.
However, unlike those battles, the announcer still shouts "Begin!"
This is the first battle where an instance of the middle finger insult gesture (in this case, during Richard Pryor's title card) is blurred out. In previous battles that feature this gesture, it is completely unobscured. As well, it appears uncensored later on in the battle, with both George Carlin and Joan Rivers using it against Pryor.
This is the second battle where something was visually censored, after Zeus vs Thor.