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My show's the hottest thing on H-B-OH!
 
My show's the hottest thing on H-B-OH!
   
I'm rock 'n' roll, you're a nerdy little ???
+
I'm rock 'n' roll, you're a nerdy little nebbish
   
 
And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!
 
And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!

Revision as of 21:21, 1 May 2016

George R. R. Martin
George R. R. Martin
EpicLLOYD as George R. R. Martin
Character information
Birth name George Raymond Martin
Nickname(s) George R. R. Martin
GRRM
The American Tolkien
Born September 20, 1948 (age 67)
Bayonne, New Jersey
Physical description
Hair Gray
Eyes Blue
Based on
George R. R. Martin Based On
Rap battle information
Appeared in J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin
Vs J. R. R. Tolkien
Release date May 2, 2016
Official vote(s) TBD
Location(s) TBA
My readers fall in love with every character I've written! Then I kill 'em!
— George R. R. Martin

George R. R. Martin will battle J. R. R. Tolkien in J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin. He will be portrayed by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the rapper

George Raymond Richard Martin, better known simply as George R. R. Martin, was born on September 20th, 1948, in Bayonne, New Jersey. He is the author of the critically acclaimed fantasy novel series A Song of Ice and Fire, the basis for the popular HBO television show Game of Thrones.

Lyrics

Verse 1:

Brace yourself!

Gather up your trolls and your Soldier Elves,

And your Ents and your orcs, and your Wargs and your Stings,

Your dwarves and Glamdrings, 'cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring!

My readers fall in love with every character I've written!

Then I kill 'em! (Aaaah!) And they're like, "No, he didn't!"

All your bad guys die and your good guys survive!

We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!

Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies! (Yeah!)

Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies!

There's edgier plots in that David the Gnome!

Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!

Verse 2:

I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beets.

I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast!

You went too deep, Professor Tweedpants!

We don't need the backstory on every fuckin' tree branch!

Verse 3:

Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke!

My show's the hottest thing on H-B-OH!

I'm rock 'n' roll, you're a nerdy little nebbish

And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!

Even the names of your characters suck:

You got Buffers, and Bofurs, and Brandybucks!

I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks!

Lift up my gut, and tea Baggins my nuts!