George R. R. Martin

Revision as of 09:06, 17 July 2019

George R. R. Martin
EpicLLOYD as George R. R. Martin
Character information
Birth name	George Raymond Martin
Nickname(s)	George R. R. Martin GRRM The American Tolkien
Born	September 20, 1948 (age 75) Bayonne, New Jersey
Physical description
Hair	Gray
Eyes	Blue
Based on

Rap battle information
Appeared in	J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin
Vs	J. R. R. Tolkien
Release date	May 2, 2016
Official vote(s)	TBA
Location(s)	The Great Hall The Somme HBO logo

“

My readers fall in love with every character I've written!

— George R. R. Martin

”

George R. R. Martin battled J. R. R. Tolkien in J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin. He was portrayed by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the rapper

George Raymond Richard Martin, better known simply as George R. R. Martin, was born on September 20th, 1948, in Bayonne, New Jersey. He is the author of the critically acclaimed fantasy novel series A Song of Ice and Fire, the basis for the popular HBO television show Game of Thrones.

Lyrics

[Note: George R. R. Martin is in light blue, while Jon Snow is in regular text.]

Verse 1:

Brace yourself!

Gather up your trolls and your soldier elves,

And your Ents and your Orcs, and your Wargs and your Stings,

Your dwarves and Glamdrings, 'cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring!

My readers fall in love with every character I've written!

Then I kill 'em! (Ahhh!) And they're like, "No, he didn't!"

All your bad guys die and your good guys survive!

We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!

Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies!

(Yeah!) Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies!

There's edgier plots in that David the Gnome!

Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!

Verse 2:

I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats.

I'll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast!

You went too deep, Professor Tweed-pants!

We don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch!

Verse 3:

Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke!

My show's the hottest thing on HBO!

I'm rock and roll; you're a nerdy little nebbish,

And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!

Even the names of your characters suck:

You got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks!

I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks!

Lift up my gut and tea-Baggins my nuts!

Scrapped lyrics

I was pushing boundaries and taking chances!

You were daydreaming, squatting in the trenches!

You should've made like Hodor: obeyed your orders!

Spend less time on Mordor and more on the mortars!

Bilbo's a dildo; my imp's a pimp!

You're a bigger wooden stiff than Gandalf's staff!

You gave us abstinence and Gary Gygax!

Fantasy movies need violence and boobies,

Not folk songs and washed-up kids from The Goonies!

Gallery

Rappers

Nice Peter	John Lennon • Darth Vader • Abe Lincoln • Lady Gaga • Hulk Hogan • Ludwig van Beethoven • Stephen Hawking • Easter Bunny • Napoleon Dynamite • Vince Offer • Dumbledore • The Cat in the Hat • Mister Rogers • Christopher Columbus • Nice Peter • Master Chief • Luigi (Mario Brothers) • Michael Jackson • Steve Jobs • HAL 9000 • Freddie Mercury • Tenth Doctor • Batman • Santa Claus • Nikola Tesla • Lance Armstrong • Mozart • Rasputin • Vladimir Lenin • Vladimir Putin • Blackbeard • Bob Ross • Donald Trump • The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come • Rick Grimes • Bill Nye • George Washington • Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) • Jamie Hyneman (The Mythbusters) • Romeo Montague (Romeo & Juliet) • Zeus • Steven Spielberg • Michael Bay • Ted "Theodore" Logan (Bill & Ted) • David Copperfield • RoboCop • Nietzsche (The Western Philosophers) • Julius Caesar • Jim Henson • Kermit the Frog • Boba Fett • J. R. R. Tolkien • Thomas Jefferson • Austin Powers • Bruce Jenner • Ivan the Terrible • Charles Darwin • Tony Hawk • Mark Zuckerberg • Guy Fawkes • Ronald McDonald • George Carlin • Jacques Cousteau • Sigmund Freud • Count Dracula • The Joker • J. Robert Oppenheimer • Joe Biden • Luke Skywalker • Richard the Lionheart • John Rambo • Indiana Jones • Henry Ford • Godzilla T-Series • Ronald McDonald • Big Bird Michael J. Fox • Seagull

EpicLLOYD	Bill O'Reilly • Adolf Hitler • Chuck Norris • Macho Man Randy Savage • Genghis Khan • Napoleon Bonaparte • Ben Franklin • Gandalf • Things 1 & 2 • Captain Kirk • EpicLLOYD • Leonidas • Mario (Mario Brothers) • Elvis Presley • Bill Gates • Frank Sinatra • Mitt Romney • Clint Eastwood • Robin • Christmas elves • Adam • Thomas Edison • Babe Ruth • Skrillex • Joseph Stalin • Mikhail Gorbachev • Al Capone • Pablo Picasso • J. P. Morgan • Walter White • Superman • William Wallace • Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) • Adam Savage (The Mythbusters) • Stay Puft Marshmallow Man • Clyde Barrow (Bonnie & Clyde) • Thor • Hannibal Lecter • Alfred Hitchcock • Bill S. Preston (Bill & Ted) • Harry Houdini • The Terminator • Socrates (The Western Philosophers) • Stan Lee • Deadpool • George R. R. Martin • Gordon Ramsay • James Bond • Bruce Banner • Frederick the Great • Donald Trump • Theodore Roosevelt • Elon Musk • Wolverine • Burger King • Robin Williams • Steve Irwin • Vlad the Impaler • Pennywise • Thanos • Ragnar Lodbrok • Jeff Bezos • John McClane • Karl Marx • King Kong PewDiePie • The Burger King • Larry Bird Chucky • Seagull

Tim Chantarangsu	Kim Jong-il • Sun Tzu (The Eastern Philosophers)

Zach Sherwin	Albert Einstein • Doc Brown • Sherlock Holmes • Ebenezer Scrooge • Stephen King • Egon Spengler (The Ghostbusters) • Voltaire (The Western Philosophers) • Walt Disney • Alexander the Great • Wayne Gretzky • John Wick

George Watsky	William Shakespeare • Fourth Doctor • Edgar Allan Poe

DeStorm Power	Mr. T • Kanye West • Shaka Zulu

Rhett & Link	Wilbur Wright and Orville Wright (Wright Brothers) • Donatello Bardi and Leonardo da Vinci (The Renaissance Artists) • Meriwether Lewis and William Clark (Lewis & Clark)

Kimmy Gatewood	Marilyn Monroe • Hillary Clinton

Key & Peele	Gandhi • Martin Luther King, Jr. • Michael Jordan • Muhammad Ali

Ray William Johnson	Boba Fett • Goku

Smosh	Raphael Sanzio da Urbino and Michelangelo Buonarroti (The Renaissance Artists)

KRNFX	Grant Imahara (The Mythbusters) • Lao Tzu (The Eastern Philosophers)

Dan Bull	Jack the Ripper • Winston Churchill

Wax	Quentin Tarantino • Freddy Krueger

Others	Sarah Palin • Justin Bieber • Billy Mays • Doctor Seuss • Leonidas • Michael Jackson • Cleopatra • Barack Obama • Bruce Lee • Dr. Watson • Moses • Eve • Nikola Tesla • Miley Cyrus • Joan of Arc • Isaac Newton • Neil deGrasse Tyson • Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, and Winston Zeddemore (The Ghostbusters) • Tory Belleci and Kari Byron (The Mythbusters) • Stay Puft Marshmallow Man • Juliet Capulet (Romeo & Juliet) • Bonnie Parker (Bonnie & Clyde) • Ellen DeGeneres • Oprah Winfrey • Stanley Kubrick • Confucius (The Eastern Philosophers) • Deadpool • Boba Fett • Julia Child • Frederick Douglass • James Bond • The Hulk • Caitlyn Jenner • Catherine the Great • Ash Ketchum • Wonder Woman • Stevie Wonder • Che Guevara • Wendy • Richard Pryor • Bill Cosby • Joan Rivers • Mother Teresa • Harry Potter • Mansa Musa • Lara Croft Bubbles Tom Cruise • Evel Knievel

Scrapped	King Henry VIII • God • Bettie Page • Betty White • Bernie Sanders • Ronald Reagan • Nathan Drake

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{CharacterInfobox
 |name = <big>George R. R. Martin</big>
-|image = [[File:George R. R. Martin.png|300px]]
+|image = [[File:George R. R. Martin Title Card.png|300px]]
 |caption = <big>[[EpicLLOYD]] as George R. R. Martin</big>
 |fullname = George Raymond Martin
 |nicknames = George R. R. Martin<br>GRRM<br>The American Tolkien
-|born = September 20, 1948 (age 67)<br>''Bayonne, New Jersey''
+|born = September 20, 1948 (age {{Age
+|birth_year=1948
+|birth_month=9
+|birth_day=20}})<br>''Bayonne, New Jersey''
 |hair = Gray
 |eyes = Blue
-|image2 = [[File:George R. R. Martin Based On.jpg|300px]]
+|image2 = [[File:George R. R. Martin Based On.png|300px]]
-|ERBnumber = ''[[J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin]]''
+|ERBnumber = [[J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin]]
 |vs = [[J. R. R. Tolkien]]
 |releasedate = May 2, 2016
-|votecount = TBD
+|votecount = TBA
-|location = TBA}}
+|location = [[The Great Hall]]<br>The [[Somme]]<br>''HBO logo''}}
-{{Quote|Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!|George R. R. Martin}}
+{{Quote|My readers fall in love with every character I've written!|George R. R. Martin}}
-'''George R. R. Martin''' will battle [[J. R. R. Tolkien]] in [[J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin]]. He will be portrayed by [[EpicLLOYD]].
+'''George R. R. Martin''' battled [[J. R. R. Tolkien]] in [[J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin]]. He was portrayed by [[EpicLLOYD]].
 ==Information on the rapper==
@@ Line 21: / Line 24: @@
 ==Lyrics==
+['''Note:''' ''George R. R. Martin is in <span style="color:#88ACE0">light blue</span>, while [[Jon Snow]] is in regular text.'']
-===Verse 1:===
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Brace Yourselves! Gather up your trolls and your</p>
+==='''Verse 1:'''===
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Soldier Elves! And your Ents and your orcs and your Wargs</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Brace yourself!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Gather up your trolls and your [[High Elves|<span style="color:#88ACE0">soldier elves</span>]],</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">and your Stings and dwarves and Glamdrings</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">And your Ents and your [[Orc|<span style="color:#88ACE0">Orcs</span>]], and your Wargs and your Stings,</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">'Cause there's a new literary lord in the ring</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Your dwarves and Glamdrings, 'cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring!</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">My readers fall in love with every character I've written</p>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">And I kill 'em! And they're like "Ah! No, he didn't!"</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">My readers fall in love with every character I've written!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Then I kill 'em!</span> (Ahhh!) <span style="color:#88ACE0">And they're like, "No, he didn't!"</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">All your bad guys die and the good guys survive</p>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">We can tell what's gonna happen in my page in age five!</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">All your bad guys die and your good guys survive!</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies! (Yeah!)</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Tell your [[The Eye of Sauron|<span style="color:#88ACE0">all-seeing eye</span>]] to find some sex in your movies!</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Ditch the Goonie and cast a couple boobies!</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">(Yeah!) Ditch the [[Mikey Walsh|<span style="color:#88ACE0">Goonie</span>]] and cast a couple boobies!</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">There's edgier plots in that ''David the Gnome''!</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">There's edgier plots in that ''David the Gnome''!</span>
-<p style="font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!</p>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Your hobbit-hole heroes can't handle my throne!</span>
-===Verse 2:===
-I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats.
+==='''Verse 2:'''===
-I'll cut you like my teeth on ''Beauty and the Beast''!
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">I conscientiously object to what you're doing on these beats.</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">I'll cut you like my teeth on ''Beauty and the Beast''!</span>
-You went too deep, Professor tweed pants!
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">You went too deep, Professor Tweed-pants!</span>
-We don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch!
-===Verse 3:===
-Man your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke,
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">We don't need the backstory on every fucking tree branch!</span>
-My show's the hottest thing on H-B-OH!
+==='''Verse 3:'''===
-I'm rock n' roll, you're a nerdy little ???
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">My show's the hottest thing on HBO!</span>
-And I may be dirty but you got a hairy foot fetish, dog!
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">I'm rock and roll; you're a nerdy little nebbish,</span>
-Even the names of your characters suck:
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">And I may be dirty, but you got a hairy-foot fetish, dog!</span>
-You got Bifers, and Bofurs, and Brandybucks!
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Even the names of your characters suck:</span>
-I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks!
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">You got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Lift up my gut and tea-Baggins my nuts!</span>
+==Scrapped lyrics==
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">I was pushing boundaries and taking chances!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">You were daydreaming, squatting in the trenches!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">You should've made like [[Hodor|<span style="color:#88ACE0">Hodor</span>]]: obeyed your orders!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Spend less time on Mordor and more on the mortars!</span>
+----
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Bilbo's a dildo; my imp's a pimp!</span>
+----
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">You're a bigger wooden stiff than [[Gandalf|<span style="color:#88ACE0">Gandalf</span>]]'s staff!</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">You gave us abstinence and Gary Gygax!</span>
+----
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Fantasy movies need violence and boobies,</span>
+<span style="color:#88ACE0">Not folk songs and washed-up kids from ''The Goonies''!</span>
+==Gallery==
+<gallery>
+George R.R. Martin Kills Jon Snow.png|George R. R. Martin stabbing [[Jon Snow]]
+</gallery>
-Lift up my gut, and tea Baggins my nuts!
 {{Rapper}}
 [[Category:Character main pages]]
@@ Line 77: / Line 114: @@
 [[Category:J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin]]
 [[Category:EpicLLOYD]]
-[[Category:Upcoming Rap Battle]]

Changes: George R. R. Martin