(Washington opens by saying there's a difference between him and his opponent, Wallace, which is explained in the next line.)
I fought till I was actually free, Willy!
(Washington fought the American Revolutionary War against the British for the autonomy of the British colonies. He led the Americans to victory and their freedom. For Wallace, it would take several years after his death for Scotland to win independence. They would later confederate with England and Wales to form the United Kingdom. "Willy", short form of William, is being used as a pun; it's a reference to Free Willy, the story of an orca's journey from captivity to freedom in the wild.)
I got my face on a quarter.
(Washington's profile is stamped into the American quarter-dollar coin, or "quarter", worth 25 U.S. cents.)
You got drawn and quartered,
(As a sentence to his crimes, Wallace got publicly hanged, choking to near death, then eviscerated, emasculated and disemboweled before being chopped into four bits, or "quartered". The sentence, of which Wallace was one of the first victims, matches the actions; it is named "Hanged, Drawn and Quartered." Washington makes the contrast between his legacy found in Americans' pockets and Wallace's horrible and disrespectful fate.)
Tortured on the orders of a king, really?
(Before being executed, King Edward I of England, Wallace's nemesis, had him brutally tortured, and Washington calls him weak for it. Washington also defeated King George III, the leader of the British during his time, and contrasts his victory and Wallace's defeat.)
How'd you get beat by a dude named Longshanks?
(Longshanks is the nickname of Edward I of England, the king Wallace fought. Wallace successfully won against Edward several times, and was a serious threat to Edward's reign. Acting on intel he received, Edward met the Scots at the Battle of Falkirk in 1298, ultimately defeating Wallace and his armies. Washington finds it ridiculous that Wallace got beat by a king with such a silly nickname.)
You hot dogged and he cut off your bean franks!
(Washington says Wallace hot dogged, which means to show off, resulting in Wallace getting his testicles—or bean franks—cut out. Hot dogs are a popular American food, as well as franks and beans, and Washington uses them as terms to describe Wallace's fate.)
I'm money like a national bank!
(Washington refers to how he appears on the American monetary system, with this case being on the U.S. $1 banknote—the "dollar bill"—in addition to the quarter. "Money" is also slang for "exceptional" or "notable", and a national bank has a lot of money in it, so Washington says he is much like a bank. Washington also signed the bill allowing a national bank to be created despite many founding fathers such as Thomas Jefferson disagreeing with it and wanting it to be taken apart. The National Bank later became a huge success in American government decisions, even though many economists still claim Washington only did it for personal gain.)
(Ugh!) Ain't nobody more street than Big G!
(Washington nicknames himself as "Big G" and says he's got a lot of street cred, meaning he has a massive reputation. Washington Street is also a long street originating in Boston.)
(Ugh!) Stone face with a grill of sheep teeth!
(Washington is often depicted as stone-faced, or expressionless. His face is literally carved into the stone on the side of Mount Rushmore, along with Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln. Washington had to wear, throughout most of his adult life, a variety of false teeth made from lead, hippopotamus ivory, sheep teeth, and the teeth of Washington's own human slaves. He likens these false teeth to a grill which is a type of jewelry worn over the teeth and commonly associated with hip-hop culture.)
(Naargh!) A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy!
(In 1995, Mel Gibson directed and starred in Braveheart, a historical war drama film about William Wallace. Although it won an Oscar and was well-received, it has been panned by historians as one of the most historically inaccurate modern films ever made. Washington says that this film is the only surviving legacy of William Wallace's life, and that since the film is very inaccurate, he is implying that Wallace should be ashamed that this is his only thing he's known for in modern times. Ironically, EpicLLOYD's portrayal of Wallace in the video is based on that of Mel Gibson in Braveheart, even though this portrayal of Wallace himself was inaccurate. This could also be a reference to the fact that Mel Gibson is greatly hated due to his racist and anti-Semitic comments, as well as implications of wife beating in recent years.)
(Ugh!) I got a state and a day and a DC!
(After stating that the only thing Wallace left behind was the Braveheart movie, Washington lists several of his great homages: the State of Washington is the 42nd state in the United States; Washington's Birthday is a U.S. Federal holiday, celebrated on the third Monday of February; and Washington, D.C. is the capital of the United States. All these and more are named in his honor.)
(Stroke!) Roll up in a boat. (Stroke!) You're sleeping, cut your throat.
("Stroke" is a word shouted by one person of the group rowing a boat to keep the rhythm, and an American is shouting it as he was among these people. It is a reference to Washington crossing the Delaware River with several boats on the night of December 25th-26th, 1776. The reason behind crossing the Delaware was to eliminate the garrison of Hessian soldiers in Trenton, New Jersey. The battle happened early in the morning, so the Hessians were either sleeping, drunk, or celebrating Christmas, leaving little resistance for the rebels. Washington says he'll cut Wallace's throat while he sleeps like he did to the Hessians in Trenton. Hessians were German mercenaries fighting with the British army.)
(Stroke!) I watch the blood flow; now who's got that red coat?
(With his throat cut, Wallace will bleed out to death, drenching his coat in red while Washington watches. This is a pun on the English soldiers during the Revolutionary War, who were nicknamed the Redcoats. The nickname is also mentioned by Billy Mays rapping against Ben Franklin, another American Founding Father, in Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin.)
(Wallace starts his verse by calling attention to, then mocking Washington's 18th-century dress. The well-to-do in this era would wear frilly clothing, similar to Mozart in Mozart vs Skrillex. Wallace implies this to be very feminine.)
Looking like a stiffer white dick than your monument!
(The Washington Monument is an obelisk monument located in Washington D.C., built in honor of George Washington. Wallace makes fun of it by comparing it to an erect white penis and says that Washington looks like a boring jerk and makes reference to the fact that richer people in that era would put white powder on their face.)
I'll knock you the fuck out, mate!
(Wallace threatens to beat Washington senseless. "I'll knock you the fuck out, mate" is also reminiscent of two memes parodying the "tough guy" speech. It is also a term stereotypically heard during Scottish pub fights.)
You died owning slaves!
(Wallace then says that while Washington owned African slaves for his whole life…)
I died setting men free! (Scot free!) That's the Highland way!
(…he fought to free the Scots from their bondage to English rulers. The expression "Scot free" has a double meaning. It means to escape pursuers, which is what Wallace died doing. It can also be inferred as the Scotsmen themselves being free. Scottish men, particularly those in the Highlands region, are cast as strong and iron-willed. Wallace says that based on this, he is manlier than Washington.)
This powdered prick couldn't beat me in a foot race!
(Mocking Washington's powdered wig, common among men of stature in his time, Wallace says that he'd win a foot race against Washington easily.)
I was emasculated, eviscerated!
(Wallace mentions how he was hanged, drawn, and quartered, as well as being castrated, disemboweled, and decapitated.)
I had my head chopped off and they put it on a pike,
(Wallace's head was placed on a stake by the orders of King Edward I.)
And I still find time to bust a Gaelic rhyme
(Continuing from the line above, despite being hanged, drawn, and quartered, Wallace is still able to rap against Washington. Gaelic refers to the tribes of people living in Scotland and the Scottish language during Wallace's time.)'
And rip your Yankee Doodle arse on the mic!
(Wallace then claims he can rap well enough to beat Washington. "Yankee Doodle" is an old American folk tune originally composed by the British to poke fun at colonists. "Yankee Doodle", or just "Yankee", is a derogatory term for Americans, especially those in the northeastern United States, where early American wealth and power were concentrated.)
I'll knock your face off your moola!
(George's face is on the American $1 banknote. "Moola" is slang for money, so Wallace tells Washington he'll thrash him hard enough to wipe his face off of the dollar bill.)
Alba gu bràth! (Gu bràth!) Hoo-rah! (Hoo-rah!)
("Alba gu bràth" is a Scottish Gaelic phrase meaning "Scotland Forever". The backing vocals come from Wallace's army cheering him on.)
Founding father, but no children.
(Washington is labelled one of the most known Founding Fathers of the United States of America. However, this is his only legitimate "father" title as he didn't have any biological children with his wife, Martha. The only children he got to raise were those of Martha's older husband.)
Crossed the Delaware, but your soldiers can't swim!
(One of Washington's most famous exploits was that of crossing the Delaware River, but, as was a common case in Washington's years, most of the soldiers he got with him were unable to swim. Wallace pokes fun at the idea of crossing a river when most of your soldiers are unable to swim. This is also another jab at Washington not having any biological children of his own, a sex joke with 'soldiers' being the sperm and 'swimming' being the ejaculation in the vagina.)
That's Washington, such a shite tactician!
(Wallace says his previous line was typical of Washington's ideas, demonstrating the General's lack of experience and skills. 'Shite' is how you pronounce 'shit' in a Scottish accent.)
The fucking British Army didn't even want him!
(Washington never received a commission in the British Army. Wallace taunts how even the British Army didn't want George.)
I'm Wallace! (Hoo!) And I'm flawless! (Hoo!)
(Wallace reminds Washington of who he is facing and simply says he has no flaws.)
Stay hid in your office or suffer great losses!
(Washington was the first president of the United States. Being president can be referred to as "being in office". Wallace suggests Washington to stay in his office instead of meeting Wallace and his army on the battlefield, because if he would, he would lose badly. Mel Gibson's Wallace made a similar threat on film toward the English.)
I pop my kilt, strap my sword in my hilt,
(Kilts are worn by Scots as a garment. Wallace also used his sword in battle…)
Step on the battlefield, and I'm ready to kill!
(…and killed those who stood in his way. Simply put, Wallace says he's gearing up to take Washington down. He also means to say he's a fierce warrior, needing only to have a kilt on and a sword in his hand to be able to fight on a battlefield.)
Send all you politicians straight down to hell!
(Wallace is referencing how American politicians tend to be corrupt and says that Washington is one of them; thus, they all must be punished for their corruption.)
The only Washington I trust is Denzel!
(Wallace references American actor, Denzel Washington, saying that he trusts him rather than George Washington. This references an interview with Denzel Washington where he says that he and Mel Gibson are friends. Wallace is also stating that despite Washington never telling a lie, he still doesn't trust him.)
Is that the best you got for me?
(Washington brushes off Wallace's insults as trivial by asking if his lines are the best disses that Wallace can come up with.)
I chop down an emcee like a cherry tree!
(In a legend, Washington is said to have chopped down his father's cherry tree, and Washington honestly admits to his father about his wrongdoing. Washington says that he will chop down Wallace like he did to the cherry tree. Emcee could also refer to how most Scottish last names start with "Mc". The legend is also mentioned in Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin when Vince Offer says the line, "Your boy George chopped down trees!")
See, power! That's what the meaning of my flag is!
(The United States is well known for being one of the most powerful nations in the world, and Washington states that his flag represents that power.)
Your nation's famous for golf and haggis!
(Scotland is stereotypically associated with golf, a sport they created in which few outside the sport find interesting, and haggis, which is a sausage made of a sheep's heart, liver and lungs and prepared in the sheep's stomach. Washington says that in contrast to his nation's strength, Scotland is only known for mundane and redundant things.)
I'm fabulous from my head to my shoe buckle!
(In Washington's times, many people dressed very strict and well-fashioned, and shoes often had a buckle on them to keep them on. Washington says his entire attire is stylish. He is also comparing himself to Wallace's more wild and homely appearance.)
Step to me, you catch a knee to the moose knuckle,
(A moose knuckle is a male counterpart of the camel toe, where the shape of a man's genitals is seen through his pants. In other words, Washington is threatening to knee him in the crotch.)
'Cause I know you don't wear no draws!
(Men in Wallace's day and status didn't wear underwear, and Washington is aware of this. Therefore, it will be easier to hurt Wallace by kneeing him in the crotch because there is no additional protection.)
I'm dressed like a pimp, best moves at the ball!
(Another reference to how well-fashioned he and people of his time were. Washington also says he has the best dance moves at the ball, a type of rich party held where esteemed people would dance, drink and socialize. Washington was also well known in his time for being a great dancer. Sources claim that women would wait in line for their chance to dance with him. He is also comparing his clothes to Wallace, who doesn't wear pants.)
McGlavin, McGliven, McSchool you all!
(Washington throws his last punch at Scots in general, seeing as how so many have "Mac" or "Mc" in their surnames, which means "child of" and lists two examples. He basically says that he will "MC School" them all, or in other words, beat them and even teach them how to rap.)
Cock block more Scots than Hadrian's Wall!
(Hadrian's Wall was a wall built during Caesar Hadrian's rule over Ancient Rome. Its purpose was to fortify England (which was then Britannia) against the Celtic tribes to its north. "Cock blocking" has come to mean that one is using any means necessary to impede his opponent without the opponent recognizing that he's being impeded.)
I don't give a shite bout your fancy clothes!
(Referring back to Washington's line about his fancy attire, Wallace says he doesn't care about how Washington fashions himself.)
You whipped all of those out of slave black folks!
(From its founding until 1865, Americans made heavy use of slave labor from Africa. Many of these slaves had to work on plantations, where they'd grow cotton and other materials to make clothing from. These slaves would also be whipped at times to make sure they kept working. Continuing from his previous line, Wallace says he does not care about Washington's clothes because he disapproves of the way they were made.)
Grew weed, then you made hemp rope,
(Washington owned a plantation farm at Mount Vernon, Virginia, on which he grew a number of crops, including varieties of cannabis. Marijuana, i.e. cannabis in drug form, is often called "weed". Hemp isn't nearly as potent, but it's a strong material for ropes and textiles.)
But if you think you'll beat me, you must be having a smoke!
(Wallace scoffs at the thought of Washington beating him and, in reference to the above line, says that Washington must be crazy to think he's winning. Cannabis can have mind-altering properties depending upon how it is grown and combined with other drugs, so Wallace thinks Washington is smoking the weed he grew if he assumes he could beat him.)
(No joke!) Don't tee off with me, laddy!
(The Scotsmen behind Wallace are simply agreeing with him in reference to the previous line. Wallace pulls off a golf pun: to tee off is to hit the ball off of the tee holding it in place, and in common speech, it means "to get angry". Wallace is warning Washington not to piss him off. "Laddy" is used by Scots to address men and boys, and Laddie X is a golf ball brand.)
If you held my balls, you couldn't be my caddy!
(A caddy is a person who follows a golf player with their equipment, including the player's golf balls. Balls is also a slang word for testicles. Wallace says that even if Washington were to carry his balls, he still wouldn't be near the level he is on.)
My style's ice cold; yours is old and shabby!
(Wallace says that his rhymes hit hard, or are "ice-cold", the first usage of the term being before the 12th century, which is even before Wallace lived. He says that contrary to his, Washington's are mundane and re-used lines.)
You're the father of your country, but I'm your daddy!
(The expression "I'm your daddy" indicates superiority and "owning" someone. Wallace says that while Washington is known as the father of United States, he is still better than him. This also suggests Wallace could be related to Washington due to his British heritage, or that Washington simply looks up to him due to how Wallace had fought for independence centuries before Washington did.)
I can't tell a lie: you're about to be,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Is that the best you got for me?" Washington is commonly cited as saying, "I cannot tell a lie," in the famous cherry tree story.)
Chopped down like a skirt-wearing cherry tree!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I chop down an emcee like a cherry tree!" Scottish people are known for wearing kilts a skirt-like garment, and Wallace had done so in the movie Braveheart despite them not having been created by Wallace's time.)
Add a loss, not a win, to your tally, George.
(Wallace tells Washington to preemptively mark this battle as a loss on his behalf.)
My heart's colder than the wintertime in Valley Forge!
(To have a cold heart means to be evil or malicious. Wallace claims his heart's "temperature" is lower than winter at Valley Forge. The American Continental Army took camp in these conditions in 1777.)
Jersey put your face on a bill, but it's the one that's least valuable!
(Washington's profile appears on the one-dollar bill, which is the least valuable bill in U.S. currency. Wallace determines that since Washington's face is on a non-valuable bill, he must also be the least valuable.)
And your monument represents you perfectly: it's an enormous phallic tool!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Looking like a stiffer white dick than your monument!")
Notes and references
↑Presently known as Presidents' Day, the third Monday in February also honors the February 12 birth-date of Abe Lincoln. Washington was born February 22nd. The modern holiday was chosen as a compromise between the two dates.