You wanna buy some heroin?

The heroin joke was a running gag created by EpicLLOYD in the ERB behind the scenes. In its first few occurrences, Lloyd would ask the audience if they wanted to buy heroin. Later on, he often would only mention the word heroin in each behind the scenes video, to the audience, himself, or the people around him. Lloyd temporarily retired the joke during Adam vs Eve, as he stated that he felt it was becoming stale. The joke was revived in Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong, but it was officially retired (or "passed away") in the behind the scenes of Rick Grimes vs Walter White.


  • Gandalf vs Dumbledore - Lloyd looks at the camera (while wearing the Gandalf beard) and asks, "Hey, bro. You wanna buy some heroin?" This was the beginning of the joke, with Lloyd creating it to pretend being a drug dealer since he wore a long white beard similar to one.
  • Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare - Lloyd walks up to Nice Peter in the Thing costume and says, "Yo, yo. You guys wanna buy some heroin?" in a normal voice.
  • Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers - Lloyd, dressed as Mr. McFeely, looks through a door and asks, "Anybody wanna buy some heroin?" in a raspy voice.
  • Christopher Columbus vs Captain Kirk - Lloyd beams down to the studio dressed as Captain Kirk and asks, "You guys wanna buy some heroin?" in the same raspy voice.
  • Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD - KassemG gets Lloyd's name wrong, tells him to make a YouTube channel (pretending he doesn't know he has one), and tells him to put some videos on it (still pretending he doesn't have any). Lloyd then asks him in his normal voice if he wants heroin, in which Kassem replies, "Yeah!", and proceeds to walk towards Lloyd.
  • Hitler vs Vader 2 - Lloyd, getting his face plastered for the Adolf Hitler carbonite block, writes a note that says, "Heroin?"
  • ERB News with Charles Darwin - Lloyd is introducing ERB T-shirts, saying "We have T-shirts for boys, Nice Peter T-shirts, T-shirts for cowboys, Mr. T-shirts, T-shirts for girls, Epic Rap Battles Of History T-shirts", but then says "I have heroin."
  • Master Chief vs Leonidas - Lloyd, in the Pleistarchus diaper and t-shirt, tells Peter, with the Master Chief pantyhose on his head, "I know you're a ninja, but let me just pitch this: I say you go on your next assassination trip, tripping on some China-ball heroin." Peter replies, "Dude, your balls are showing." Lloyd looks down and asks, "Are they? How do they look?" Peter replies, "I don't know, but I…I do need some heroin!" Lloyd says, "No, listen, listen," as Lloyd stretches out his legs, saying, "Listen. I just want you to come over here, just for a second!"
  • Mario Bros vs Wright Bros - Lloyd, dressed as Mario, tries to get Atul Singh (ERB's time manager) to recognize him, but he mistakes him for Mario Lopez and Mario Williams. Just as Atul is leaving, he tries to stop him by saying, "I have heroin!"
  • Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley - First occurrence: Lloyd, with the young Michael Jackson wig and old Elvis Presley sideburns says to the camera, "What's up, blood? You wanna buy some heroin?" Second occurrence: Lloyd, dressed as young Elvis Presley, walks up to Bentley Green, dressed as young Michael Jackson, and is about to ask him something. It then cuts to Bentley saying, "I do not do heroin! Hey, yo, cops! He-he wants to do heroin!", with Lloyd replying, "Uh, gotta go!", and walking towards the exit.
  • Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe - At the end of the video, Kimmy Gatewood, dressed as Marilyn Monroe, is singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" in front of the camera. When she gets to "Happy birthday, Mr…" Lloyd pushes her and finishes with "Heroin!" He then proceeds to finish the song.
  • Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates - Lloyd, dressed as Bill Gates, looks at a vending machine and says, "Uh, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos—oh, heroin, sweet!" It later comes back to him at the end of the video as he asks, "Does anybody have change for a million?"
  • Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury - Lloyd, dressed as Frank Sinatra, is playing ping-pong with someone and constantly wins. Lloyd then bets the man's girlfriend, and wins. He then tells her, "You're coming with me, baby. Let's get some heroin, and blow this pop stand!"
  • Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney - Lloyd, dressed as Mitt Romney, trips out while holding a camera. He then stops and says, "That's some good heroin!"
  • Doc Brown vs Doctor Who - It shows a whiteboard that says "Pete + Lloyd". Lloyd changes it to "Lloyd + Pete". Then Peter, dressed as the Tenth Doctor, comes up, says, "Hold on, I'm stealing it!" and adds "+ HEROIN?" and runs away triumphantly.
  • Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood - Lloyd, dressed as Clint Eastwood, says, "All right, everybody freeze. Put your gold and your heroin in the bag!"
  • Batman vs Sherlock Holmes - Lloyd, dressed as Robin, says to the cameraman, "Can you go into my pants pocket and, uh, um…in the green room and grab my heroin?" 
  • Moses vs Santa Claus - Lloyd, dressed as a Christmas elf, reads from the list, "Dear Santa: Hi, my name is Bobby. I've been a good boy all year. Please bring me a new bike and heroin for Christmas. Love, Bobby." He pauses and says, "Ok."
  • Adam vs Eve to Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison - No heroin joke, although Jenna Marbles mentions that Lloyd told her one in the behind the scenes for Adam vs Eve.
  • Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong - With the return of the heroin joke in this BTS, Lloyd asks the viewers, "You know what drug Lance Armstrong never tested positive for? Heroin."
  • Mozart vs Skrillex - Lloyd, dressed as Skrillex, tells the audience, "Music is my heroin, man. Music."
  • Rasputin vs Stalin - Lloyd, portraying Joseph Stalin, looks at the camera and says, "One time in freezing cold, my comrades and I tried heroin. No effect."
  • Hitler vs Vader 3 - After showing Ray William Johnson's verse as Boba Fett, Lloyd says to the audience, "You know what's in that jetpack, don't you? …Rocket fuel. And heroin." However, the "heroin" part was cut off at the very end, leading Lloyd to say, "And hero—".
  • Blackbeard vs Al Capone - Lloyd asks a person what he's buying. The person doesn't understand, but when he's gone past, Lloyd turns to the camera whispering, "Heroin, dude!"
  • Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc - Lloyd asks the audience if they want to buy some heroin, and Joan of Arc appears. It is a play on words, "heroin" and "heroine".
  • Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso - Lloyd (dressed as Pablo Picasso) introduces the audience to his dog, Parker. Parker is then seen sniffing the cameraman's crotch. Lloyd asks him what he smells and proceeds to answer, "Heroin, heroin in your crotch."
  • Michael Jordan vs Muhammad Ali - While the cameraman is filming Lloyd talking, he becomes bored and aims the camera away from him. An angry Lloyd says that he only wants to hear the heroin joke, then leaves.
  • Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge - Peter, dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, tells the viewers not to do heroin because "Death loves people who do heroin," then lunges at the camera.
  • Rick Grimes vs Walter White - Peter gets a phone call, and upon hearing the news from the other end, he informs Lloyd and the crew that the heroin joke had died, and a funeral is performed in its sake. The funeral consists of the walkers singing Amazing Grace and a sobbing Lloyd mourning the death of the joke.
  • Dis Raps For Hire - Season 2 Episode 5: Diamond - Lloyd references the death of the heroin joke in his final line.
  • Zeus vs Thor - While not directly mentioning heroin, Lloyd makes a nod to it by asking the viewers, "Hey, you guys wanna buy some t-shirts?", mimicking the same way he'd ask someone about buying heroin.
  • Terminator vs Robocop - Near the end of pt. 2 of the behind the scenes, while Lloyd is getting his makeup fixed, he says, "Do you want to buy some…", before the end slate cuts him off.
  • Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin - In the start of the behind the scenes video, you see Nice Peter running with a beard (looking like the Heroin Guy), while approaching to the camera saying: "Lloyd, you wanna buy some he—", before he was cut off.
  • Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine - During the line, “I’ll call you tomorrow morning if I need my toast buttered,” Wolverine mourns the same picture used at the heroin joke’s funeral.
    • This is the first time it has been referenced outside of a behind the scenes video, not including Dis Raps For Hire.



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