Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki
James Bond

James Bond Title Card.png Ben Atha as James Bond (Daniel Craig)

James Bond (Sean Connery) In Battle.png EpicLLOYD as James Bond (Sean Connery)

Character information
Full name James Bond
Nickname(s) Agent 007
Commander Bond
Mr. Bond
First appearance James Bond:
April 13, 1953
Casino Royale (novel)
Sean Connery's version:
October 5, 1962
Dr. No (film)
Daniel Craig's version:
November 14, 2006
Casino Royale (2006 film)
Physical description
Hair Blond (Craig)
Brown (Connery)
Eyes Blue (Craig)
Brown (Connery)
Based on
Rap battle information
Appeared in James Bond vs Austin Powers
Vs Austin Powers
Release date June 14, 2016
Official vote(s) TBD
Location(s) Craig:
The MI6 Headquarters
A gray background
James Bond title sequences
Gresham Palace
The gun barrel sequence
Psychedelic flower patterns
Blofeld's volcano lair
James Bond title sequences
Blofeld's volcano lair
A restroom

I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!
— James Bond (Daniel Craig)
I wouldn't exactly call you original...
— James Bond (Sean Connery)

James Bond battled Austin Powers and himself in James Bond vs Austin Powers. He appeared as two different adaptations of himself, Daniel Craig's James Bond and Sean Connery's James Bond. Craig's Bond was portrayed by Ben Atha, while Connery's Bond was portrayed by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the rapper

Created by British author Ian Fleming, Commander James Bond is a Senior Operational Officer of the 'Double-O' ('00') Branch, an ultra-covert Black Ops unit within the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6). As an agent of MI6, Bond holds code number "007". The 'double-O' prefix indicates his discretionary license to kill in the performance of his duties.

In film, James Bond was first portrayed by the late Sir Thomas Sean Connery, beginning with 1962's Dr. No. He would subsequently appear as Bond in the films From Russia with Love (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Thunderball (1965), You Only Live Twice (1967), and Diamonds Are Forever (1971), before leaving the role, which would then go to the late Roger Moore, beginning with 1973's Live and Let Die. A few months after the release of the film Octopussy (1983), which Moore starred in, Connery returned to the role for the last time in the unofficial James Bond film, Never Say Never Again, another adaptation of the Bond story Thunderball, before Moore returned to the role. Twenty-two years later, Connery also provided his voice and likeness for the 2005 video game adaptation of From Russia with Love. Many film reviewers and critics often consider Connery's portrayal to be the most iconic.

An impersonation of Connery by Darrell Hammond was shown on Saturday Night Live's recurring scene Celebrity Jeopardy, where he would often prank Alex Trebek (Will Ferrell) and imply that he had sexual relations with Trebek's mother.

In addition to Connery and Moore, actors who have portrayed Bond include George Lazenby, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and, most recently, Daniel Craig. 


[Note: James Bond (Daniel Craig) is in blond, James Bond (Sean Connery) is in gray, and Austin Powers is in regular text.]

Verse 1 (Daniel Craig version):

I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar,

But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are!

I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot!

Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!

Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it!

I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!

After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights!

Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice!

Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!

Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!

I'm bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done!

I only need one round: Golden gun!

Verse 2 (Daniel Craig version):

(Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!

I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!

Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis,

Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies!

Yeah, that's not mine…

I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks!

I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!

And I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic,

But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!

Verse 3 (Sean Connery version):

I wouldn't exactly call you original…

It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage!

Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage!

Your performance doesn't stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken!

If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!

I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all!

I don't need a Q to break your balls!

I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!

You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.

(Yeah, um…) Could I get back in my rap, please?

Rap these, you velvety hack! Jeez!

Verse 4 (Daniel Craig version):

It's the movie business, and you've had your six!

The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists!

Verse 5 (Sean Connery version):

Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished!

If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!

Verse 6 (Daniel Craig version):

Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English!

Verse 7 (Sean Connery version):

Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?

Verse 8 (Daniel Craig version):

As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts!

After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!

Verse 9 (Sean Connery version):

Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt!

I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!

Scrapped lyrics

Daniel Craig version:

I'm cool and distinguished, stunning and English

When I rap against Pussy Galore's, I become a cunning linguist

Get off my nuts! What are you, Gold Bond?

Quit jacking my style, dude! You need to hold on.

The only thing allowed on my nuts is Gold Bond.

Sean Connery version:

Without me, the show never goes on!

You're on my nuts so much, I should call you Gold Bond!

All up on my nuts like Bond…Gold Bond.


  • Bond previously battled Austin Powers at a live ERB concert, in which he was portrayed by Nice Peter.[1]
    • The version of the Bond used was Sean Connery's.
    • He is the second/third rapper who was in an unofficial battle before being in an official one, after Sherlock Holmes and alongside Austin Powers.
  • He was mentioned by Elon Musk in Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg during the line "I'm Tony Stark with a James Bond sprinkle tossed in."
  • He is the eleventh rapper to be portrayed by multiple actors.
  • He is the seventh rapper to have multiple versions of himself appear in the battle.
    • He is the first rapper to appear next to one of his alternate versions.
      • He is the first rapper whose different versions rapped against each other.
  • He has the most lines out of any rapper in a single battle, at forty.
  • He is the second rapper to be both a title rapper and a third party, after Abe Lincoln.
    • He is the only one to be both in the same battle.
  • Sean Connery's Bond is the second rapper to slap another rapper, after Abe Lincoln.
    • He is the fourth character to slap another character, after Captain Kirk, KassemG, and Lincoln.
  • He is the sixth rapper to possess and shoot a handgun, and the first rapper to shoot an offscreen character (in this case, the sniper from the intros to the James Bond films, where Bond, seen through the sniper's scope, shoots him before the sniper can shoot first).
  • According to Ben Atha, Daniel Craig's Bond's eyes had to be digitally recolored frame by frame from Atha's natural gray eyes to Craig's blue eyes.[2]
  • With Sean Connery's passing in 2020, he became the third fictional character whose actor has died after appearing in ERB, after Spock and HAL 9000.
  • Sean Connery was mentioned by Richard the Lionheart in Ragnar Lodbrok vs Richard The Lionheart.