James Bond

James Bond
Daniel Craig (title card) Sean Connery Ben Atha as James Bond (Daniel Craig) EpicLLOYD as James Bond (Sean Connery)
Character information
Full name	James Bond
Nickname(s)	Agent 007 Commander Bond Mr. Bond Bond
First appearance	James Bond: April 13, 1953 Casino Royale (novel) Sean Connery's version: October 5, 1962 Dr. No (film) Daniel Craig's version: November 14, 2006 Casino Royale (film)
Physical description
Hair	Blond (Craig) Brown (Connery)
Eyes	Blue (Craig) Brown (Connery)
Based on
Daniel Craig Sean Connery
Rap battle information
Appeared in	James Bond vs Austin Powers
Vs	Austin Powers Himself
Release date	June 14, 2016
Official vote(s)	TBD
Location(s)	The MI6 Headquarters (Craig) A gray background (Craig) James Bond title sequences Gresham Palace (Craig) The gun barrel sequence (Craig) Psychedelic flower patterns (Craig) Blofeld's volcano lair A restroom (Connery)

“

I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics! — James Bond (Daniel Craig)

”

“

I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on! — James Bond (Sean Connery)

”

James Bond battled Austin Powers and himself in James Bond vs Austin Powers. He appeared as two different adaptations of himself, Daniel Craig's James Bond and Sean Connery's James Bond. Craig's Bond was portrayed by Ben Atha, while Connery's Bond was portrayed by EpicLLOYD.

Information on the rapper

Created by British writer Ian Fleming, Commander James Bond is a Senior Operational Officer of the 'Double-O' ('00') Branch, an ultra-covert Black Ops unit within the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6). As an agent of MI6, Bond holds code number "007". The 'double-O' prefix indicates his discretionary license to kill in the performance of his duties.

Many actors have portrayed James Bond in film, including George Lazenby, the late Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and, most recently, Daniel Craig. However, the version of Bond portrayed by Sir Sean Connery, the first actor to portray James Bond, is considered to be the most iconic. As Bond, Connery appeared in Dr. No (1962), From Russia with Love (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Thunderball (1965), You Only Live Twice (1967), and Diamonds Are Forever (1971). A few months after the release of the film Octopussy (1983), which starred Roger Moore, Connery returned to the role for the last time in the unofficial James Bond film, Never Say Never Again, another adaptation of the Bond story Thunderball. In addition, he also provided his voice and likeness for the 2005 video game adaptation of From Russia with Love.

Lyrics

[Note: James Bond (Daniel Craig) is in blond, James Bond (Sean Connery) is in gray, and Austin Powers is in regular text.]

Verse 1 (Daniel Craig version):

I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar,

But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are!

I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot!

Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!

Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it!

I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!

After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights!

Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice!

Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!

Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!

I'm bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done!

I only need one round: Golden gun!

Verse 2 (Daniel Craig version):

(Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!

I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!

Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis,

Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies!

Yeah, that's not mine…

I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks!

I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!

And I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic,

But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!

Verse 3 (Sean Connery version):

I wouldn't exactly call you original…

It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage!

Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage!

Your performance doesn't stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken!

If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!

I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all!

I don't need a Q to break your balls!

I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!

You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.

(Yeah, um…) Could I get back in my rap, please?

Rap these, you velvety hack! Jeez!

Verse 4 (Daniel Craig version):

It's the movie business, and you've had your six!

The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists!

Verse 5 (Sean Connery version):

Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished!

If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!

Verse 6 (Daniel Craig version):

Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English!

Verse 7 (Sean Connery version):

Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?

Verse 8 (Daniel Craig version):

As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts!

After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!

Verse 9 (Sean Connery version):

Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt!

I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!

Scrapped lyrics

Daniel Craig version:

I'm cool and distinguished, stunning and English

When I rap against Pussy Galore's, I become a cunning linguist

---

Get off my nuts! What are you, Gold Bond?

---

Quit jacking my style, dude! You need to hold on.

The only thing allowed on my nuts is Gold Bond.

Sean Connery version:

Without me, the show never goes on!

You're on my nuts so much, I should call you Gold Bond!

---

All up on my nuts like Bond…Gold Bond.

Trivia

• Bond previously battled Austin Powers at a live ERB concert, in which he was portrayed by Nice Peter.
  • The version of the Bond used was Sean Connery's.
  • He is the second/third rapper who was in an unofficial battle before being in an official one, after Sherlock Holmes and alongside Austin Powers.
• He is the eleventh rapper to be portrayed by multiple actors.
• He is the seventh rapper to have multiple versions of himself appear in the battle.
  • He is the first rapper to appear next to one of his alternate versions.
    • He is the first rapper whose different versions rapped against each other.
• He has the most lines out of any rapper in a single battle, at forty.
• He is the second rapper to be both a title rapper and a third party, after Abe Lincoln.
  • He is the only one to be both in the same battle.
• Sean Connery's Bond is the second rapper to slap another rapper, after Abe Lincoln.
  • He is the fourth character to slap another character, after Captain Kirk, KassemG, and Lincoln.
• He is the seventh rapper to possess and shoot a handgun.
  • He is the first one not to aim towards any character.
• According to Ben Atha, Daniel Craig's Bond's eyes had to be digitally recolored frame by frame from Atha's natural gray eyes to Craig's blue eyes.

Gallery

Craig's Bond in a suit

Craig's Bond in swimming trunks

Connery's Bond in the seagull disguise costume

Connery's Bond in a playsuit

A picture of Connery's Bond in makeup and Ceciley Jenkins dressed as Daenerys Targaryen posted on EpicLLOYD's Facebook account