I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar,
(James Bond faced and defeated villains such as Le Chiffre, Dr. No, and Blofeld, a villain known for his scar that cuts through his right cheek.)
But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are!
(Bond uses the two meanings of the words "rotten" and "crooked" to compare the state of Austin Powers' teeth to the villains he has faced in the past. They can be described as crooked and rotten as these are words associated with corrupt or evil characters, whilst Powers' teeth may be crooked and rotten because he takes little care of them. This may also be a pun on the stereotype of the British having teeth described as such, which is even referenced in the first Austin Powers film when Powers first meets his partner Vanessa Kensington)
I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot!
(Bond makes a pun on the phrase "to go balls to the wall", which is to put all of one's energy into something, and the word "Walther", in reference the Walther PPK, a German pistol issued to James Bond in the Ian Fleming novel, Dr. No. The PPK became Bond's primary weapon with the transition to the big screen, and Bond expresses that he wishes to go all out with his signature firearm on Powers, who uses an ascot as part of his attire, which Bond deems "wack" or uncool.)
Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!
(Bond threatens to shoot Powers while referencing the Austin Powers character Fat Bastard, a morbidly obese Scottish henchman of Dr. Evil with chronic flatulence. Bond claims to be able to unload his gun on Powers with speed and frequency comparable to Fat Bastard's releasing of gas.)
Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it!
(Bond works for MI6, an organization that serves Queen and country. The service permits that Bond kill when necessary, and Bond intends to use this permission to put an end to Powers. He also states that he earned this right through his extreme competence as an agent.)
I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!
(Licence to Kill is the sixteenth movie in the Bond franchise, and takes its name from Bond's aforementioned permission to kill when deemed necessary. Before one can receive a driver's license, they must first earn a learner's permit, which gives them permission to practice driving under the care of someone with a full license. Bond compares this to his license to kill and tells Powers he is too inexperienced and unskilled to be allowed such a duty. This may also be a reference to Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, in which Powers failed to drive past a narrow path with three pillars in Dr. Evil's lair. Furthermore, he barely drove in the first movie since Vanessa Kensington was driving most of the time.)
After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights!
(The character of James Bond has been in a total of twenty-four films and is still hitting box office records, with his series being third on the highest-grossing film series of all time (and first when adjusted for inflation). This could also refer to Bond frequently being found atop large skyscrapers in his movies.)
Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice!
(The third and final installment of the Austin Powers film trilogy, Austin Powers in Goldmember, was not nearly as well-received by fans and critics as the previous two installments, garnering mostly mixed reviews. Bond references his own film, You Only Live Twice, referring to the Austin Powerstrilogy's significant fall in reception after Goldmember.)
Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!
(Bond makes a pun using the letters of his last name. He is known for being a successful womanizer and claims that the girls in his films wish to be on his "D", or dick.)
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!
(Bond does not understand how Powers is shown to be popular with women considering his strange behavior and nerdy, unkempt looks. How Powers is attractive to ladies is beyond him, i.e. confusing.)
I'm bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done!
(Bespoke is a term applied to clothing which generally means "made to order." Bond is touting his fashion sense by demonstrating that all his clothes are custom-made by skilled tailors. He also declares that after he finishes flowing in his verses, he will have overcome Powers with his lyrics.)
I only need one round: *gunshot* Golden Gun!
(A reference to the Golden Gun weapon in the 007 film, The Man with the Golden Gun, a 4.2 mm single-shot handgun, the trademark of hitman Francisco Scaramanga who uses it to assassinate his targets. Scaramanga typically only uses a single bullet for each kill. Bond claims he only needs one round (or verse) in this rap battle to beat Powers. This is also a reference to the Golden Gun's use in the popular, critically acclaimed Nintendo 64 video game GoldenEye 007 developed by Rare, Ltd., where it allows one to kill another player character with just a single shot.)
(Powers says that Bond's hair doesn't look as light as it does in his movies. The way this observation is posed is similar to an introduction to a blind date, where one might get duped into dating someone not as attractive as initially thought by a picture provided in the service. Since blond hair is considered by many to be a more attractive hair color, Powers is insinuating that Daniel Craig is not as attractive as the Bond movies made him out to be while subtly calling him deceitful and untrustworthy for having himself made out to be attractive in the first place.)
That's alright. Let's just keep it groovy, baby!
("Groovy, baby!" is one of Powers's catchphrases. Groovy can mean excellent, so Powers says that Bond's rap isn't excellent and tells him to do better.)
(Yeah!) Basil Exposition told me this would be boring,
(Basil Exposition is a character from the Austin Powers films who gives Powers briefings on his missions. His name is auto-logical, as he gives exposition, or an explanation of an idea that wasn't shown in the movie, but is a necessary plot point to the story. In this described briefing, Exposition told Powers that battling against Bond would be boring, insulting the entertainment value of his movies.)
But Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!
(While being told rapping against Bond was going to be boring, Powers didn't expect it to such a degree that his mojo, or sex appeal/charm, has fallen asleep, implying that he can't even stay awake for intercourse after hearing something as boring as Bond rapping. This could likely be a reference to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, which centers around Powers having lost his mojo.)
I've never seen such a miserable spy!
(Powers claims to have never seen a spy as inadequate as Bond. This also mocks Daniel Craig's Bond for being serious, and his lack of happiness suggests that he is, in fact, miserable.)
I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs!
(Powers calls attention to the shaven body of Craig's Bond. In the 1960s, the decade that Powers is from, a popular sex appeal on a man was hair, leaving Powers to speculate how Bond can do so well with the ladies with such a lack of hair.)
I mean, you can't shag properly with that waxed tush!
(Powers clarifies his confusion by explaining this conundrum to Bond. "Shag" is a British word meaning to have intercourse with someone, and a term Powers tends to use a lot - even being used in the title of the second film, The Spy Who Shagged Me, but it can also mean a mass of hair. Having previously mentioned Bond's shaven thighs, he mentions Bond's waxed tush, or butt. To wax a part of the body means to have hair removed by means of hot wax sticking to the hairs and having it quickly pulled off.)
Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!
(Powers brags about the hair on his body, specifically his chest, that gives off a musk, or a scented secretion used to attract mates, that birds "flock" to. A "bird" is British slang for a young woman. This pun shows young women flocking, or gathering around Powers, just as a real flock of birds would.)
(Yeah!) I'll hypnotize you with a little strip tease,
(In Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Powers encountered the Fembots, a group of robots modeled after attractive women, built to distract Powers from his mission. Unsurprisingly, he was flattered by the robots until he remembered his mission to stop Dr. Evil. The Fembots blocked Powers' escape from their trap, so Powers performed a strip tease, hypnotizing the Fembots and causing them to explode. Powers says that he'll daze Bond in the same fashion as he destroyed the Fembots.)
And then judo chop; I'm swinging on you like the sixties!
(A judo chop is a commonly used fighting technique that Powers uses in his movies. Powers was in 1967 prior to being frozen until the 1990s, and the 1960s was a time in which people became more open to having sex, or "swinging".)
(Yeah!) You're defenseless; my rhymes can't be deflected!
(Powers states that Bond is defenseless against his rhymes, and that thus there is no way for him to deflect them or be safe.)
You're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!
(Powers was known for not using condoms, opting to have unprotected sex. For instance, Powers had unprotected sex with Alotta Fagina, one of Dr. Evil's experienced female spies. Powers later explained to Vanessa Kensington that "only sailors use condoms".)
(Yeah!) People want a hero with a little personality!
(Powers is known for his humorous personality, whereas Bond doesn't seem to have many emotions.)
No one wants to sit through your gritty reality!
(James Bond films are shown to be more serious and realistic; meanwhile, Austin Powers is more comedic and science fiction. Powers says that people think that Bond's movies are not interesting, and they can't stand the seriousness of the movies.)
Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines!
(In the Bond mythos, the MI6 quartermaster known only as "Q" gives Bond his gadgetry and tools for each mission. Powers believes the Bond films use the same boring plot lines, and he jokes that inventor Q could create some unique ideas for Bond's repetitive adventures.)
You've made Thunderball two bloody times!
(The 1985 unofficial Bond film Never Say Never Again, starring Sir Sean Connery as Bond, was a second adaptation of the Thunderball novel by Ian Fleming. Connery was also cast for the role of Bond in the official 1965 film adaptation Thunderball. Powers is enforcing his previous claim of the Bond films being repetitive.)
I'm one of a kind; you're always getting remade!
(The Austin Powers series, even as a parody of Bond, was a one-shot deal in the 1990s. Within the twenty-four Bond films are two remakes. Besides Thunderball, 1967's Casino Royale was rewritten in 2006. This may also refer to the many actors who played as Bond while only one playing as Powers.)
You can't touch me; double oh, behave!
(Powers says that Bond will not be able to touch him in the same manner he sexually touches his lovers. Bond's codename is 007 (spoken as "double-oh seven"), and Powers has a famous quote in which he says the phrase, "Oh, behave!" Powers make a pun here with Bond's codename to say he should behave better and not try to touch him. "Double oh, behave!" was also one of many taglines of Powers' second movie, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.)
(Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!
(Bond thinks he's not gaining anything out of battling Powers. Since he's meant to be a parody of Bond, he calls him a clown.)
I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!
(When he's not busy on his missions, Bond often goes to an island resort with an attractive woman, most of which are played by actresses who also work as models.)
Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis,
(Bond (notably Daniel Craig's portrayal) is often depicted sipping a dry martini, an alcoholic beverage often found in beach bars. A lot of Bond girls wear bikinis, especially after the first, Honey Ryder, popularized the swimwear. Bond says he peels them off to undress them.)
Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies!
(Bond thinks he shouldn't be rapping against Powers as he references the scene in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, where he gathers his belongings, including a Swedish-Made Penis Enlargement Pump, which he initially tries to deny is his in front of Vanessa Kensington.)
Yeah, that's not mine…
(Just like in the previously referenced scene, Powers denies the fact that the penis enlargement pump is his.)
I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks!
(Bond interrupts him since he wasn't done with his verse and proclaims he is sick of Powers' shtick.)
I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics
(Bond claims that he is the most popular and successful spy in fiction, making him superior to Powers. He furthers this claim by telling Powers to ask all the critics, as many of the James Bond films have received generally positive reviews.)
And I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic,
(Responding to Powers calling him miserable, instead of countering it, Bond admits to it, and claims he is this way because he's been through hell, or a lot of pain.)
But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!
(Powers is a spoof, or a mimic, of action movie spies. Bond counters Powers' statement of him being one of a kind by pointing out that he is essentially a rip-off of him.)
James Bond (Connery):
I wouldn't exactly call you original…
(The Sean Connery version of James Bond comes in to say that even though Bond himself is the original character, Daniel Craig is not the original actor of James Bond.)
It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage!
(Connery calls himself the quintessential James Bond. Connery was the first actor to portray James Bond in film, and critics and viewers alike often state Connery to have effortlessly defined the character's iconography. To pay homage means to show respect, and since Connery's Bond made the character internationally famous, he thinks the current incarnation and his parody character should honor him.)
Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage!
(Ass-whipping--which could also refer to the beatings he gives his enemies--is most performed by those in the bondage community as a way to get off sexually. Connery defined the James Bond trait of being a womanizer, so this sexual joke references his enjoyment of sexual acts. This also continues from his last line in which he claims to be dominant, as the dominant role in bondage is the one who does the ass-whipping.)
Your performance doesn't stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken!
(Connery says he is not moved by what he sees as Craig's poor performance of the Bond character, further inferring that he is not afraid of Craig. The line is also a play on Bond's preferred drink; when at a bar, he frequently orders "vodka martini: shaken, not stirred".)
If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!
(As further proof of his displeasure with Craig as Bond, Connery suggests that if he wanted to see an action film with low-quality acting, he would see Taken, a suspense thriller starring Liam Neeson. The film and its sequels are widely derided for being wasteful of Neeson's talent and being built on an overused plot device.)
I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all!
(The word "see" is here used as a reference to gambling, such as card games that have been seen in both Dr. No (Connery's film) and Casino Royale (Craig's film). To "see" or "call" a bet means to match the amount of money that the previous player has bet. Instead of "raising" (increasing the size of the bet) or "folding" (dropping out of the round) in terms of gadgetry, however, Connery decides instead to disregard modern gadgets, as he believes he is better than Craig even without them.)
I don't need a Q to break your balls!
(Bond makes a pun by using Q, the gadget supplier that Craig's Bond gets gadgets from, to describe a cue which they play billiards with. At the beginning of the game, you need to "break" the balls, which refers to how Connery's Bond would play the game in casinos. He says this to show that he would be able to "break Craig's balls", or defeat him. This is also a reference to Casino Royale, where Craig's Bond has his testicles repeatedly smashed in during capture at the hands of Le Chiffre.)
I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!
(Because Connery was the first Bond actor, he claims to be the foundation of the series, and thus the reason for its success in theaters and massive amount of fans.)
You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.
(The phrase "up on my nuts" means that the person in question is aggressively pursuing the speaker's business or harping on them. Gold Bond is a skin care product that can be applied to the testicles (or "nuts") to control moisture and prevent fungal growth. Connery makes a play on words saying that if Craig is going to complain about Connery, he should change his name to match the product and demonstrate his whiny attitude. The way he says the line is a reference to the quote "Bond. James Bond." as said by him in almost every Bond film to date.)
(Yeah, um…) Could I get back in my rap, please?
(Powers tries to make his way back into his rap battle.)
James Bond (Connery):
*slap* Rap these, you velvety hack!
(Connery denies Powers' entrance by slapping him and calling him a fraud. The word "velvety" may either refer to Powers' unruffled demeanor or his psychedelic clothing.)
(An expression of shock is uttered in direct response to the sudden violence.)
James Bond (Craig):
It's the movie business, and you've had your six!
(Bond references Connery's line from Dr. No. After an assassin unloads six rounds from a handgun onto a decoy that Bond set up in his hotel room bed, Bond reveals himself and instructs him to drop his gun. After briefly conversing, the man grabs the weapon once again and pulls the trigger, only for nothing to happen. Bond informs him, "That's a Smith & Wesson, and you've had your six", before shooting the assassin dead. Craig says, essentially, that Connery has "had his shot" at being Bond. This is also used as a pun with the six official films that Connery appeared in as Bond, excluding Never Say Never Again as it was an unofficial film of the series.)
The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists!
(Connery wore a hairpiece, or "rug", in each of his appearances as James Bond. He was also frequently seen having sex with women, and Craig suggests that Connery's Bond had little respect for them as people, making him a misogynist. This may also be a play on another Bond title, The World Is Not Enough, which was a Pierce Brosnan era film.)
Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey.
(Powers agrees with the statement in the last verse, saying Connery's depiction of Bond had a tendency to be a sexual predator.)
I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby.
("Swinging" was a trend first introduced in the sixties, which generally embraced the idea that sex could be engaged in without restriction. Powers, being a parody of both spy movies and the sixties themselves, has himself engaged in sex many times both on- and off-screen. However, in his first movie, Powers acknowledges that sex should be performed only with proper consent from both parties, and resists the urge to make out with Vanessa because she is drunk (a move which was praised by film critics). Thus, the phrase "no means no," popularized to remind others of the importance of consent, is here paired with the name of the eponymous villain of the first Bond movie, Dr. No, to show that Powers does not approve of Connery's Bond's approach towards having sex with women.)
James Bond (Connery):
Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished!
(Connery's Bond says that he is more class than both Craig's Bond and Austin Powers, and references the movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (based on the comic book series of the same name, which features the villain Jimmy Bond, a parody of James Bond), in which Connery portrays Allan Quatermain.)
If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!
(Mini-Me is Dr. Evil's dwarf sidekick from the Austin Powers films, played by the late Verne Troyer, a dwarf actor with a reported height of 2' 8". Connery says his version would be played by Peter Dinklage, another dwarf actor who is 4' 5" and known for his role as Tyrion Lannister, a character seen as more sophisticated and distinguished than the people around him, in George R. R. Martin's critically-acclaimed fantasy series, Game of Thrones.)
James Bond (Craig):
Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English!
(This line references the fact that Sean Connery is a Scot by birth, when Bond's character is English like Daniel Craig and most other Bonds. As the English and the Scottish have been at odds through various times in history, Craig's Bond thinks that an Englishman should be the one to portray Bond. Craig compares Connery to Peter Dinklage in a different light to the way Connery does in the previous line, as Dinklage is an American actor who has to put on an English accent for his character in a similar fashion to the way Connery has to change his accent. The same would go for Mike Myers, who is actually Canadian.)
James Bond (Connery):
*slap* Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?
(After slapping Craig out of anger for saying he's not an actual English actor, Connery makes a twisted reference to the Bond story Goldfinger and villainess-turned-love interest Pussy Galore as he sarcastically compliments Craig's use of language while calling him a "pussy", which in this case means "weak as a woman". "Cunning linguist" is a play on "cunnilingus", the act of performing oral sex on a woman. This also refers to a scene from Tomorrow Never Dies, where Moneypenny said to Bond, "You always were a cunning linguist, James.")
James Bond (Craig):
As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts!
(Furthering the play on the cunnilingus pun, the phrase "licking old cunts" takes the literal act of performing oral sex on a woman and uses it in conjunction with its more metaphorical meaning, where "to lick" a person is to defeat them in a fight and the use of the word "cunt" as a derogatory insult towards Connery.)
After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!
(Connery's Bond had a stunt double, Bob Simmons, for all the James Bond films. Meanwhile, Craig's Bond does all of his stunts himself, and says that even Connery's stunt double doesn't stand a chance.)
James Bond (Connery):
Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt!
(Craig's Bond would usually have his lips puckering slightly. This resembles a "duck face", a facial expression commonly found on social media to appear more attractive, although it is ridiculed; thus, Connery's Bond mocks Craig's Bond for it. At 5'10, Craig is the shortest actor to play Bond, hence why he is called a "runt". Additionally, "runt" can also be used in a derogatory manner towards young people, particularly children, and by doing this Connery is insulting Craig as if he was too young and inexperienced)
I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!
("To go all in" in gambling is to enter all of your poker chips on one hand, where in the Bond movies gambling are sometimes a prominent feature, most notably in the stories of Casino Royale. Connery also references Die Another Day, another one of James Bond's stories.)
There's no competition in a battle of best looks.
(Powers claims that he's a sure win in terms of attractiveness.)
Your man-scaped ass can't beat my chest bush!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyrics, "I mean, you can't shag properly with that waxed tush! Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!" Manscaping is the cosmetic practice of trimming hair from a male body.)
You're too clean; you look like you bleach and wax your tush!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I mean, you can't shag properly with that waxed tush!" Bleach is known to whiten material, so Powers considers the idea of Craig's Bond using bleach on his rear end, as it's very pale.)
You're like a broken record…groovy baby
(A record is a music storage unit that uses grooves on a disk to hold the information for music based off the phonograph. In calling Bond a "broken record", Powers mentions that Bond repeats himself too much, just as a scratched record would keep skipping back in the song, a diss on the repetitiveness of the James Bond franchise. Powers also says his catchphrase, "Groovy, baby!")
Is that all, have you had it?
(Powers taunts Bond, teasingly asking if Bond can't take anymore of Powers' raps.)
I think Q should have made you a rapping gadget
(Powers suggests that Q, MI6's technological engineer, should've made a device that raps for Bond so he doesn't have to submit lesser raps himself.)
James Bond (Daniel Craig version):
Get off my nuts! What are you, Gold Bond?
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond…Gold Bond." Originally, Craig would say this to Powers.)
Quit jacking my style, dude! You need to hold on.
(Craig tells Powers to stop using Bond's elements in his movies.)
The only thing allowed on my nuts is Gold Bond.
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond…Gold Bond.")
I put the "oh, oh" in double 0-0-7, you're all libidos and tuxedos
(It is implied this lyric is directed to Connery's Bond and spoken by Craig's Bond as Craig's Bond is more known for taking a more action approach to his movies and spends more time on his missions while wooing women on the side (putting the "oh, oh" in 007 is a euphemism saying that he's the James Bond that makes more women moan) while Connery's Bond spends more time wearing flashy tuxedos and seducing women.)
I'm cool and distinguished, stunning and English
(This lyric is what developed into the lyrics, "Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished!", and "Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English?")
When I rap against Pussy Galore's, I become a cunning linguist
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Why, pussy, aren't you a cunning linguist?" Pussy Galore was a "Bond girl" of Connery's Bond, whom Craig's Bond is rapping against. Cunnilingus is an oral sex act on a woman's privates, or "pussy", and Craig brags that he gets "pussy galore" (a lot of women) and performs the act on them.)
James Bond (Sean Connery version):
Without me, the show never goes on!
(Sean Connery was the first actor to portray Bond, and without his influence, the spy genre likely wouldn't have lasted long enough to have Austin Powers introduced and have Craig be able to portray the character.)
You're on my nuts so much, I should call you Gold Bond!
All up on my nuts like Bond…Gold Bond.
(These lyrics are what developed into the lyric, "You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond…Gold Bond.")
While I save the UK, you spoof me with goofy silly stuff
(Bond insults Powers for goofing off while Bond protects the United Kingdom from terrorism. It is unknown which Bond was going to say this.)
Once I spit the fill I leave you ruffled like your frilly cuffs
(When Bond raps he'll leave Powers ruffled (or upset) similar to how Powers's frilled cuffs are ruffled in the sense of disordered.)
The way you treat your women is simply despicable
(It's likely this is being told towards Connery's Bond, as it follows a similar theme to the "rug-wearing mysogynists" and "Dr. No means no" lines. Connery's Bond is insulted for his abusive nature towards women.)
Your movies are like YouTube ads…mostly skippable
(On YouTube, the video-sharing platform that displays ERB, the typical advertisement that lasts longer than 30 seconds can be skipped after five seconds of watching. Connery Bond's movies are being compared to this, saying that most of his movies aren't pertinent to the casual audience's viewing.)
I'm taking out Brosnans, Moores and Daltons.
(Along with Connery and Craig, Pierce Brosnan, Roger Moore, and Timothy Dalton have also famously portrayed Bond. One early consideration for this battle was a royale of actors who all portrayed Bond, eventually limited to just Craig's Bond against Connery's Bond with the premise of Craig's Bond against Powers.)
My car's the tits. Could call my Aston Martin Dolly Parton.
(Dolly Parton is an actress famous for her attractive bosom, or "tits." Saying something is "the tits" means that it is really good, and these two ideas are connected to say that Bond's Aston Martin, a car commonly driven by him, should be named after Parton.)
I wish I had a Moneypenny for every time you got creepy
(Moneypenny is a secretary with a professional relation to Bond. This alludes to a popular hyperbolic phrase that goes along the lines of, "If I had a _____ for every time _____, I'd have _____.")
Your teeth look like someone pissed on a whiter picket fence
(If someone were to urinate on a white fence, it would stain the fence yellow, similar to the bold yellow of Powers's teeth.)
My member will never be as desensitized as your audiences
([Whoever states this]'s "member" (penis) is frequently used and would eventually become numb, "desensitized". [Their opponent]'s audiences have become so used to his [gritty world/overly raunchy humor] that they are more desensitized than his penis. This is a reference to the Austin Powers film Goldmember.)
I love your outfit baby, that'd go nice with my bed
(Powers' velvet garb would make well as chamber decorations.)
Especially that shag rug you've got on your head
(Powers's hair is very unkempt, resembling a shag carpet, a rug commonly placed in a bedroom.)
I'm not impressed by your suit or those groovy shoes
([Whoever states this] doesn't care for [their opponent]'s clothing choices.)
You look like you escaped an episode of Scooby-Doo
(This is likely a joke at Powers's expense, referring to his ascot, a garment commonly worn by Scooby-Doo character Fred Jones.)