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BRACE YOURSELF! The following content and information on this page may contain major spoilers. Caution is advised. |
| John Wick | |
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 Zach Sherwin as John Wick | |
| Character information | |
| Full name | Ярдані Яванавіч (pronounced Jardani Jovanovich) |
| Nickname(s) | John Wick Jonathan Wick Baba Yaga The Boogeyman |
| First appearance | October 24, 2014 John Wick |
| Born | September 12, 1964 Padhorje, Byelorussian SSR, Soviet Union |
| Died | Paris, France |
| Physical description | |
| Hair | Black |
| Eyes | Brown |
| Based on | |
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| Rap battle information | |
| Appeared in | John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane |
| Vs | John Rambo John McClane |
| Release date | December 18, 2021 |
| Official vote(s) | 58% (Twitter poll by EpicLLOYD) |
| Location(s) | Neon circles An under construction warehouse Nakatomi Plaza A Vietnamese jungle |
| “ | I'm gonna need a dinner reservation for two.
— John Wick
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John Wick battled John McClane and John Rambo in John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane. He was portrayed by Zach Sherwin.
Information on the rapper
John Wick is a fictional character and the titular protagonist of the neo-noir action thriller film series John Wick, portrayed by Keanu Reeves. John is a legendary hitman who had retired until a gang invades his house, steals his car, and kills the puppy that his late wife Helen had given him. This sets him on a path of revenge, returning to the criminal underworld and eventually coming into conflict with the international organization of assassins of which he was once a part.
John was born Jardani Jovanovich in Padhorje, Byelorussian SSR, Soviet Union on September 12, 1964. He was orphaned at a young age before being taken in by an old friend of his father, who would eventually become John's mentor. It is revealed in the John Wick comic book mini-series that he spent a significant portion of his adolescence in El Sauzel, Mexico. At one point, he was recruited by a Ruska Roma organized crime group and trained by its leader, a woman known as "the Director," in New York City. Under the Director's supervision, John was trained as a hitman and learned skills including martial arts, firearms and other weaponry, tactical driving, infiltration, escapology and more. After leaving the Ruska Roma organization, he was arrested for an unspecified crime and incarcerated. Upon release, he was manipulated into joining the underground crime world operating out of the Continental Hotel chain. John eventually became the top enforcer for the New York Russian crime syndicate, becoming a feared and ruthless hitman that people describe as "a man of focus, commitment, and sheer will." He was later nicknamed "Baba Yaga," being further described as the man one would send to "kill the Bogeyman." His prowess was such that he once single-handedly killed three men in a bar with a pencil.
Eventually, John fell in love with a woman named Helen. Hoping to leave his past as a contract killer behind him and pursue a normal life, he met with Viggo Tarasov, boss of the Tarasov mob, who agreed to grant him his freedom if he could carry out what was described as an "impossible task," implying that Wick wasn't expected to survive the mission. In order to accomplish his goal, Wick requested assistance from crime boss Santino D'Antonio and subsequently ended up owing him a blood oath called a "marker." John eliminated all of Tarasov's major rivals, thus enabling him to become one of New York's most powerful crime bosses. John retired and settled down with Helen, his reputation now legendary, and the two lived happily together for five years. Over the course of the movies, he became hunted and excommunicado from the High table and sooner and later dies in a Duel in Paris.
Unlike other movie franchises, where sequels and reboots usually perform more poorly than the originals, the first John Wick movie and its sequels continue to remain widely admired among both critics and audiences alike, often consistently scoring high on Rotten Tomatoes. Much of this is attributed to multiple factors including Keanu Reeves and the dedication he is known to put into the emotion and physicality of playing John Wick. Much of the fight choreography and gunplay of the movies is done by Keanu Reeves himself without the use of stunt doubles and much of the stunt coordinators have worked with Reeves in many of his previous projects. At the same time, the relatability of John Wick's character is known to connect well with audiences and the movies' world building is widely praised by critics as well.
Lyrics
[Note: John Wick is in purple while John Rambo and John McClane are in normal text.]
Prologue:
All right, I guess I'll be the one to draw First Blood.
Or maybe you could draw an audience to see any of your new movies.
Come out to the coast; we'll have a few laughs. Sounds sweet!
But no, I'm stuck here with these two jerkweeds,
'Bout to kick their ass with bare feet! Argyle, drop the beat!
Verse 1:
...Ooh.
I'm gonna need a dinner reservation for two.
John Wick, I'm efficient and lean.
A proficient, professional killing machine!
Underworld overachiever looking dapper as I'm bucking.
Only one of us to go three chapters without sucking.
Between your elevator and the mine where you were trapped,
You're such weiners, I should call you both John Shaft.
I craft rhymes with pencils, then jam 'em in necks,
So I'm not vexed by vets flexing 'roid-injected pecs!
Being excommunicado wasn't more than I could handle,
So I think I can withstand an excremental ex-commando!
And this sad, broken dad-joking popo is no foe
For the hurt-you-oh-so-bad virtuoso!
Ho ho ho to quivers and bows. I'm delivering blows,
And when they land, it won't help to make fists with your toes!
Bitcoin? No. Hitcoin? Certainly.
I'll put you two in tombs, call it cryptocurrency.
Obey your superior like good cops and soldiers.
Raven, Roy, you're done. Over.
Verse 2:
Those were mujahideen; there's a difference.
The Taliban formed in the '90s, when you fell off with a vengeance.
Verse 3:
You're both a funeral suit away from presentable.
I'm thinking I'm back, and I'm thinking you're expendable!
Trivia
- A preview of Wick appeared at the end of Jeff Bezos vs Mansa Musa.
- He is the first character to be portrayed by Zach Sherwin since Wayne Gretzky in Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky during Season 5, nearly five years prior.
- With his inclusion, Keanu Reeves is the second actor to be represented by two separate characters in ERB, with Wick and Ted "Theodore" Logan, after Mark Hamill, who originally portrayed The Joker and Luke Skywalker.
- He is the first to have both of his characters portrayed by different actors, as Wick was portrayed by Zach Sherwin while Ted was played by Nice Peter.
- He is the first fictional rapper to appear in a franchise created after Epic Rap Battles of History started.
- He is also the most recent fictional rapper to appear, and the first to originate in the 2010s.
- He is the second fictional rapper to have died after the release of their battle, after Rick Grimes (albeit only in The Walking Dead comics), and the fourth if counting cameos Hodor and Daenerys Targaryen.
- He is the first fictional cinematic rapper whose character dies in-universe after his battle's release.
Gallery
