View source for John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane

{{BattleTab}}
{{Season7Battle}}
{{Nice Peter Icon}}
{{Epic Lloyd Icon}}
{{Zach Sherwin Icon}}
[[File:John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane. Epic Rap Battles Of History|center|600px]]
{{ERB
|name = <big>John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane</big>
|image = [[File:John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane.png|300px]]
|releasedate = December 18, 2021
|erbnumber = 85
|youtubeviews = 12M
|videolength = 4:25
|previous = [[Jeff Bezos vs Mansa Musa]]
|next = [[Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones]]
|beat = Battle Cry
|bpm = 90
|producer = 2Deep and [[Nice Peter]]
|appearingactors = [[Nice Peter]]<br>[[EpicLLOYD]]<br>[[Zach Sherwin]]<br>[[Josh Best]]
|rappers = [[File:John McClane in Battle.png|50px|link=John McClane]][[File:John Wick in Battle.png|50px|link=John Wick]][[File:John Rambo in Battle.png|50px|link=John Rambo]]
|cameos = [[Sam Trautman]]
|locations = An [[Warehouses|under construction warehouse]]<br>[[Nakatomi Plaza]]<br>A [[Forest|Vietnamese jungle]]}}
'''John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane''' is the eighty-fifth installment of ''[[Epic Rap Battles of History (YouTube Series)|Epic Rap Battles of History]]'', and the third episode of [[Season 7]]. It features the titular hitman protagonist of the ''John Wick'' movie series, [[John Wick]], the titular soldier protagonist of the ''Rambo'' movie series, [[John Rambo]], and the cop protagonist of the ''Die Hard'' movie series, [[John McClane]], rapping against each other in the first official three way battle. It was released on December 18th, 2021.

==Cast==
===Rappers===
[[Zach Sherwin]] as [[John Wick]]

[[Nice Peter]] as [[John Rambo]]

[[EpicLLOYD]] as [[John McClane]]

===Cameos===
[[Josh Best]] as [[Sam Trautman]]

==Lyrics==
['''Note:''' ''John McClane is in <span style="color:#304FFF">blue</span>, John Wick is in <span style="color:#893AAD">purple</span>, John Rambo is in <span style="color:#BC0000">red</span> and Sam Trautman is in <span style="color:#23992E">green</span>.'']

===Prologue:===
<span style="color:#BC0000">All right, I guess I'll be the one to draw ''First Blood''.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Or maybe you could draw an audience to see any of your new movies.</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Come out to the coast; we'll have a few laughs. Sounds sweet!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">But no, I'm stuck here with these two jerkweeds,</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">About to kick their ass with bare feet! Argyle, drop the beat!</span>

===John McClane:===
<span style="color:#304FFF">I'll set it off like it’s the top of [[Nakatomi Plaza|<span style="color:#304FFF">Nakatomi</span>]]!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Need a fire hose to swing on you; you're both so below me!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">I haven't stopped killing it since Karl's brother, Tony,</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">And I got your detonators right here, blow me! (Oops!)</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Ship your booby traps home, Rambo,</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">'Cause you'll never take the W without the P and O!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Does your lip hang low? Does it wobble to and fro?</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Can you string that shit up on your compound bow?</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">And lighten up, Wick, with your brooding saga.</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">How about a little hakuna matata, Baba Yaga?</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">You got the trousers tapered and the watch, Bucherer,</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">But your acting falls flatter than the Hans Gruber!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Leave the underground coin game to [[Mario Brothers|<span style="color:#304FFF">Mario Brothers</span>]].</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">And John, Bubbe, what the fuck's with the chest butter?</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">That bandolier looks heavy as shit!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">I'm like this prick's ring finger: only need one clip!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">C'mon! I been sharp as shattered glass since the late '80s,</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">And like your late pup, I'll leave you pushing up daisies!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Less is more, boys; that's my advice!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">You, less survival knife; you, more survival wife!</span>

===John Wick:===
<span style="color:#893AAD">…Ooh.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">I'm gonna need a dinner reservation for two.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">John Wick, I'm efficient and lean.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">A proficient, professional killing machine!</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Underworld overachiever looking dapper as I'm bucking.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Only one of us to go three chapters without sucking.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Between your elevator and the mine where you were trapped,</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">You're such wieners, I should call you both John Shaft.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">I craft rhymes with pencils, then jam 'em in necks,</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">So I'm not vexed by vets flexing 'roid-injected pecs!</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Being excommunicado wasn't more than I could handle,</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">So I think I can withstand an excremental ex-commando!</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">And this sad, broken dad-joking popo is no foe</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">For the hurt-you-oh-so-bad virtuoso!</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Ho ho ho to quivers and bows. I'm delivering blows,</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">And when they land, it won't help to make fists with your toes!</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Bitcoin? No. Hitcoin? Certainly.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">I'll put you two in tombs, call it cryptocurrency.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Obey your superior like good cops and soldiers.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">Raven, Roy, you're done. Over.</span>

===John Rambo:===
<span style="color:#BC0000">Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Unless... it's one of your movies. In which case… I just turn it off! Huh!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">When I rip off my shirt and start swinging my stick swords,</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I'm hotter than the suicide girls on your switchboards!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">My headband's red, but I've got no love for commies!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">And no juice was used to produce these armies!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Your High Table rules don't apply to this conflict!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I'll finish you right in the lobby! Mission accomplished!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">McClane! South is where your marriage went!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">The last tight thing you slid in was an air vent!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">They used to say you were a handsome crusader.</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Too bad your hairline couldn't be saved by Steve Urkel's neighbor. Oh!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I slip into the jungle, disappear like a ghost,</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Then ding! I pop up hot behind ya like toast!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I seek peace, but I'm packing ''Parabellum''.</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I was trained to be the very best soldier boy!</span> <span style="color:#23992E">Tell 'em!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I'll blast an RPG through NYPD's guts!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Simon Says you can PTSDeez nuts!</span>

===John McClane:===
<span style="color:#304FFF">[[Jesus Christ|<span style="color:#304FFF">Jesus Christ</span>]], asshole! Whattaya doing?</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">This is not some Saturday morning cartoon for you to ruin!</span>

===John Rambo:===
<span style="color:#BC0000">The only thing getting ruined is McClane family Christmas!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">All your kids still have "decent dad" on their wishlist!</span>

===John McClane:===
<span style="color:#304FFF">Whoa! Rambo's droppin' bombs in his flows!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Did your pals in the Taliban help you write those?</span>

===John Wick:===
<span style="color:#893AAD">Those were mujahideen; there's a difference.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">The Taliban formed in the '90s, when you fell off with a vengeance.</span>

===John McClane:===
<span style="color:#304FFF">Hey! Who the fuck asked you, dog pound?</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Why don't you go lock your mouth in a hole in the ground?</span>

===John Rambo:===
<span style="color:#BC0000">Hole! Lock!! Arghhhhgh!!!</span>

===John Wick:===
<span style="color:#893AAD">You're both a funeral suit away from presentable.</span>

<span style="color:#893AAD">I'm thinking I'm back, and I'm thinking you're expendable!</span>

===John McClane:===
<span style="color:#304FFF">You wanna ''Die Hard''? Well, today's a good day!</span>

<span style="color:#304FFF">Let's go, motherfuckers! Yippee-ki-yay!</span>

==Scrapped lyrics==
===John Rambo:===
<span style="color:#BC0000">You think stepping on glass hurts, McClane?</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Do a few tours in 'nam, then you can't complain!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Go home, little piggy, or get butchered by my knife!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I've already dealt with enough asshole cops in my life!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">None of you could fit my shoes that is the power of Rambo!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">Even [[Arnold Schwarzenegger|<span style="color:#BC0000">Arnold</span>]] failed to rip my shtick when he went ''Commando''!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">I'm ''Rocky'' and roll, best soldier you've ever seen!</span>

<span style="color:#BC0000">My rhymes destroy you faster than an M16!</span>

==Trivia==
===General===
*This is the first battle to start as a three-way battle. As such, it is the first battle to feature more than one VS screen during the intro, and it is also the first to have three title cards at the beginning.
**It is the second battle altogether to have multiple VS screens, after [[Doc Brown vs Doctor Who]]. However, unlike that battle, this battle uses multiple VS screens to announce multiple rappers.
*This is the third longest ERB to date, with a total rapping time of 3:39, being beaten by [[Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker]] by 1 second, and [[Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible]] by 8 seconds.
*This is the fourth battle to have a prologue, after [[Hitler vs Vader 2]], [[Hitler vs Vader 3|its sequel]], and [[Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2]].
**It is the first battle to have a prologue that is not a sequel.
**It is also the first battle to have a prologue after each rapper's title cards are introduced.
*During the sponsor segment at the end of [[Jeff Bezos vs Mansa Musa]], a brief preview of [[Zach Sherwin]] as [[John Wick]] was shown. A preview of [[John Rambo]] was also shown in said battle's [[Behind the Scenes|behind the scenes]].
*This is the sixth battle based on the characters' shared names, after [[Napoleon vs Napoleon]], [[Artists vs TMNT]], [[Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters]], [[Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner]], and [[Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder]].
*This is the first battle since [[Guy Fawkes vs Che Guevara]] to not have an early audio release.
**Guy Fawkes vs Che Guevara's audio released simultaneously with the video, unlike this battle's, which released a day after the video, likely to keep the triple rapper structure a surprise.
*The beat changes depending on who is currently rapping. If McClane is rapping then the beat has added sleigh bells, if Wick is rapping the beat is slightly lower in pitch and has low synths added, and if Rambo is rapping then strings and drums are present. This is until Wick says "You're both a funeral suit away from presentable", where the beat has all instruments playing.
*This battle is the first appearance of [[Zach Sherwin]] since [[Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky]], over 5 years earlier.

===Production===
*This battle was written in conjunction with members of the [[ERB Patreon]]. Patrons in the "Writer" and "Director" tiers on Discord were able to submit lines for the rappers, which were then incorporated into the battle.
**This is the last battle where the lines were written under those tiers, as the Patreon would later merge all three tiers into one the same day as the battle's release.

===Continuity===
*This could be considered the third Christmas-themed battle, as many consider ''Die Hard'' to be a Christmas movie. The first two battles are [[Moses vs Santa Claus]] and [[Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge]].
*This battle was released on December 18th, a date shared with [[Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer]].

===References===
*John McClane's pose on the cover is a reference to [https://img.posterlounge.co.uk/images/big/1875924.jpg a ''Die Hard'' movie poster].
*John McClane with a lighter in a vent is a reference to him navigating through one in the first ''Die Hard'' film.
*Behind John McClane's back near the end of the battle, he hides a pistol using Christmas-decorated tape reading "Season Greetings" as a holster, referencing the end of ''Die Hard'' where he uses this method to pull out a pistol to shoot Hans Gruber and his henchman.

===Errors===
*When the announcer says "VS" for the second time, the audio clips slightly.
*During several points in John Rambo's verse, the body prosthetic that Nice Peter is wearing can be seen wrinkling around the neck and wrist. This is especially noticeable at 2:28 and 2:43.

==Related videos==
<gallery widths="185">
John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane. Behind The Scenes. Epic Rap Battles Of History
</gallery>
{{Battle}}
[[Category:Character main pages]]
[[Category:Epic Rap Battles of History]]
[[Category:Season 7]]
[[Category:John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane]]
[[Category:Nice Peter]]
[[Category:EpicLLOYD]]
[[Category:Zach Sherwin]]
[[Category:Josh Best]]