| Juliet Capulet | |
|---|---|
Grace Helbig as Juliet Capulet | |
| Character information | |
| Full name | Juliet Capulet |
| First appearance | c. 1595 Romeo and Juliet |
| Physical description | |
| Hair | Blonde |
| Eyes | Blue |
| Based on | |
| |
| Rap battle information | |
| Appeared in | Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde |
| Vs | Bonnie & Clyde |
| Release date | November 17, 2014 |
| Official vote(s) | 51% |
| Location(s) | Capulet Mansion Courtyard |
| “ | A moment's break from your gaze is an eternity past.
— Juliet Capulet
|
” |
Juliet Capulet rapped alongside Romeo Montague as part of Romeo & Juliet against Bonnie & Clyde in Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde. She was portrayed by Grace Helbig.
Information on the rapper
Juliet Capulet was created by William Shakespeare in his play, Romeo & Juliet. Juliet, daughter of political faction House of Capulet, falls in love with Romeo Montague, the son of rival House of Montague, at a masquerade party. They secretly get married, but Romeo is banished from Verona after killing Juliet's cousin, Tybalt, after Tybalt murders Romeo's friend, Mercutio. Juliet, distraught, goes against her father; then arranging her to be married to kinsman and suitor, Count Paris, against her will. She and a friar, John, then take part in a plan to reunite her with Romeo; faking her death to avoid the marriage and meet Romeo outside of Verona, but Romeo returns early. Romeo finds her "dead" body and kills himself over her, awaking her and finding him dead. She stabs herself in the heart, in the arms of her husband. The lovers' deaths teach both their families a harsh lesson which causes the end of their feud.
Lyrics
[Note: Juliet's solo lines are in royal purple, while Romeo's solo lines are in regular text.]
Verse 1:
My love, your face is beauty to behold.
I will protect thine honor from these dust bowl dildos!
A moment's break from your gaze is an eternity past,
So together, we shall both put these bitches on blast!
En garde, thou artless beetle-headed flax wench!
The only insult you have thurst upon me is thine stench!
Why don't you twist upon these nuts? I hear you're good with a wrench!
The dismal state of your raps should be a federal offense!
(Haha!) And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,
You'll get an ass-rippin' worse than your boyfriend's in prison!
You're not a true romance. You're just a conjugal visit.
Oh, but that's not even your real husband now, is it?
Verse 2:
Do you quarrel, sir? Ho, shall I draw my long sword?
Or will you duck your chicken-shit ass back into your Ford?
Verse 3:
No, no, my Romeo will beat your beau in contest blow for blow.
He will do upon thine dick what you hath done upon your toe!
[Bonnie Parker shoots Juliet.]
Oh, I am killed! What irony is this?
The lead role shot down by a failed actress…
Then I shall kill myself! On my stomach I shall lie,
So you louts can lick my ass! Thus, with a dis, I die…
Oops, never mind. My flesh was merely grazed.
Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo! There's poison on your face!
Oh, happy dagger, pierce me true. Persuade my breath to stop!
Sheathe yourself inside my heart, and like the beat, I drop…
Trivia
- She is the first fictional female rapper in ERB.
- She would be the second fictional female rapper if Eve were to be counted as such, but she is classified as a theological character.
- She is the first female character to die in-battle, and the seventh character overall to do so, after Billy Mays, Steve Jobs, the Tenth Doctor, Boba Fett, Adolf Hitler, and Romeo Montague.
- She is the second character to commit suicide, the first being Romeo Montague in the same battle.
- She is the second-youngest rapper to appear, at the age of 14 in the original story, after the young version of Michael Jackson.
- She is the youngest woman to rap, with Joan of Arc behind her by roughly five years.
- However, she is the youngest rapper to maintain the age throughout the battle; Michael Jackson aged right before his second verse.
- She is the youngest woman to rap, with Joan of Arc behind her by roughly five years.
- She is the youngest fictional character to have rapped in a battle.
- She is the fourth-youngest character to appear overall, after a first-place tie between Pleistarchus and the younger Michael Jackson (both aged 6), and 11-year-old Tootie Ramsey in third place.
- This is not counting Ignorance and Want, as the ages of the pair are never stated, and they are spirits manifested as children.