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Season 7
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Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones
Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones Cover Art
Battle information
Release date October 25, 2022
Number 86
Views 7M
Length Original release:
4:24
Current video (sponsor removed):
3:13
Timeline
Previous John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane
Next Henry Ford vs Karl Marx
Beat Information
Beat(s) Burn it Down
BPM 116
Beat producer(s) Hollywood Legend Productions
Other information
Actors Croix Provence
Nice Peter
Atul Singh
EpicLLOYD
Rappers Indiana Jones in battleLara Croft in Battle
Cameos Swordsman
Mutt Williams
Location(s) A Peruvian rainforest
Tomb
Well of the Souls
Siberian mountain

Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones is the eighty-sixth episode of Epic Rap Battles of History, and the fourth episode of Season 7. It features titular film archaeologist and professor, Indiana Jones, rapping against video game protagonist and explorer, Lara Croft. It was released on October 25th, 2022.

Cast

Rappers

Croix Provence as Lara Croft

Nice Peter as Indiana Jones

Cameos

Atul Singh as the swordsman

EpicLLOYD as Mutt Williams

Other

EpicLLOYD as Theodore Roosevelt

Nice Peter as Blackbeard

Lyrics

[Note: Indiana Jones is in orange, Lara Croft is in cyan and Mutt Williams is in gray]

Indiana Jones:

Let's get this battle crackin'.

I'll leave you like your reboot: flattened!

You used to be the queen of booby trappin'; what happened?

You got too woke to be fun.

Now my Indianaconda don't want none.

There's too many voices inside you.

You burn through women quicker than I do!

I think you shoulda dropped Hollywood as an option

When even Angelina gave you up for adoption!

Let's cut to the Chase; oh wait, he died.

I guess you couldn't tap that X in time.

From the Bandicoot to your family's plane in ashes,

Kid, you've got a tragic history with crashes.

The puzzle I'm trying to beat

Is figuring out why you're dressed for the beach.

I've seen more class from the kids I teach!

You can rise all you want; I'm still out of reach!

So go grab your relics and run!

You verse me is sword verse gun!

Honey, just the first four notes of my theme exceed everything you've done.

Lara Croft:

Dr. Jones, you're no rival.

You've been getting owned since give me the whip throw me the idol!

Indianaconda? For heaven's sake!

You'd shit those Dickies at a garter snake!

You stole your famous leather-daddy jacket and Stetson

From the cold dead hands of Charlton Heston!

Some ladies mistake you for brave and hunky,

But you're such a toxic date, you could kill a little monkey!

Marion was 15 when you raided her bones!

That's no time for love, Dr. Jones!

This is one temple you'll never be exploring!

You're not John Williams, so you ain't scoring!

Three decades in the game, and my fans still adore me.

You tried alien skulls and chose poorly!

Your whole story got blown up on a sitcom.

There's a Big Bang you can't hide in a fridge from!

Hang up the whip before you crack a hip!

I think even Mutt wants you to quit! (Just do it!)

I kill dinosaurs for fun; what's another old geezer?

I'll lock this battle up like Winston in the freezer!

Indiana Jones:

Dinosaurs belong in a museum!

I've been served a full course meal of chilled Indian voodoo,

And they don't even kill as many animals as you do.

You're corrupting the youth! They should be outside,

Not trying to unload the barrels on your thighs!

You might have ditched those pistols, akimbo,

But you're still the same rich back-flipping bimbo!

A brat with a treasure map to catastrophe,

Stuffing your knapsack with innocent casualties!

Square Enix didn't want you anymore!

That's why they dropped you like a J in the floor!

When they designed your Core, they ripped my style

And jiggled in a bit of Girls Polygone Wild!

You took 3D to uncharted territory!

Now you're just in Uncharted's territory!

Overshadowed by Drake like Lil Wayne.

Somebody needs to make a tomb for your whole game.

Lara Croft:

If you wanna talk games, stick to Sorry.

That verse was worse than your crap on Atari!

Awww, Fedora the Explorer thinks he's tough!

You must've gotten dragged behind too many trucks!

So strap some blocks on Short Round and pump the brakes!

The only overshadowed thing is that face!

I'm whooping you so bad, I should get flagged for cheating!

Like Mola Ram with a heart, Indy's taking a beating!

I'm the first wet dream gamers ever had.

You're a Halloween costume for out of shape dads!

Oop, my bad. Your dad was never present!

At best, the affection you got was sloppy seconds (ew!)

You ditched your sidekick, never met your own kid

'Cause his mum cut you off like a rope bridge!

You're a dog, Indiana, that's facts!

The only thing you're loyal to's a hat, no cap!

Your face straight melted and you lost that smolder,

So make like a boulder and roll your arse over!

'Cause Junior the baby boomer beating me at rapping?

That's like my nude codes: never gonna happen!

Scrapped lyrics

Indiana Jones:

There's one thing in your series I could never understand.

Why do you use dual pistols, when your fans only play with one hand?

Nathan Drake:

Erm... what's up Doc?

I gotta cut you off like one of Croft's tank tops

You're among thieves, let's get to brass tacks

I'm here to... oh no, no, ah crap!

Trivia

General

  • This battle is called Indiana Jones vs Lara Croft on audio distribution services and in the description of the YouTube video.
  • The video for this battle reached #3 on Trending on YouTube the day after release.
  • This is the first battle to:
  • This is the second battle to be in 4K, after Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker. Going forward, all subsequent rap battles will have 4K resolution.
  • This is the third battle where the announcer gets interrupted, after Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates and Donald Trump vs Joe Biden.
    • This is the fourth battle where the announcer doesn't say "Begin!", after Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates, Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2, and Donald Trump vs Joe Biden.
  • Godzilla is shown for a split second after the Raid: Shadow Legends sponsorship segment at the end of the video.
  • This is the only battle released in 2022.
  • A day after Henry Ford vs Karl Marx was released, the sponsor portion for Raid: Shadow Legends was cut out from the video due to the contractual agreement being fulfilled and allowing them to remove it.
    • This includes the preview of Godzilla, making it the only ERB teaser to have been removed entirely from the channel.

Production

  • This battle was written in conjunction with members of the ERB Patreon. Patrons in the "Crew" tier on Discord were able to submit lines for the rappers, which were then incorporated into the battle.
    • This is the first battle written since the Patreon merged the "Writer" and "Director" tiers.
  • Nathan Drake was set to appear in this battle as a third-party rapper before being interrupted by a boulder, but was scrapped.
    • He is, however, referenced by Indiana Jones quipping that Lara Croft has been "overshadowed by Drake like Lil Wayne."
  • During production, Peter credits the YouTube series, Angry Video Game Nerd, for his research on Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones games becoming the inspiration for the line, "That verse was worse than your crap on Atari."
  • According to a comment left by the ERB channel, the shot of Indiana Jones using his whip after the "let's cut to the Chase, oh wait, he died." line alone was filmed more than 20 times.
  • Backgrounds for this battle were created using Unreal Engine, a first for the series.
  • According to EpicLLOYD in a live stream:
    • Production on the battle took 6 months.
    • Dan Bull was asked to to proofread the lyrics to make it sound "authentically British."

Continuity

References

  • The shot of the mountain during the intro is a reference to the opening shot of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
    • Similarly, Indiana Jones' title card is a recreation of his entrance in said film, where he turns his head while in a shadow, uses his whip, then walks out of the shadow, revealing his face.
  • At 0:37, Indiana Jones enters a quick-time event (QTE), a gameplay element seen in many video games, including the Tomb Raider games, especially the modern ones.
  • During the line "Honey, just the first four notes of my theme exceed everything you've done," the first few notes of the Indiana Jones franchise's theme song is heard mixed into the beat.
  • This battle releases on the 26th anniversary of the original Tomb Raider game, which was originally released on October 25, 1996 in Europe for the Sega Saturn console.

Errors

  • At 0:11, Indiana Jones' bullwhip is seemingly cut in half.
  • From 0:38 to 0:41, the end of Jones' bullwhip is keyed out incorrectly.
  • At 0:34-0:37 when the swordsman is throwing the sword from one hand to another, the blade becomes transparent.
  • At 0:55 when Jones shoots the swordsman, his gun is aimed to the swordsman's left.
  • At various parts of the video, Lara Croft's tank top is keyed out improperly, making it appear as gray in different parts
  • Indiana Jones' jacket is keyed out incorrectly during the "Who Won? Who's Next? You Decide!" sequence.


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