| Ted "Theodore" Logan | |
|---|---|
Nice Peter as Ted "Theodore" Logan | |
| Character information | |
| Full name | Theodore Logan |
| Nickname(s) | Ted Ted "Theodore" Logan |
| First appearance | February 17, 1989 Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure |
| Physical description | |
| Hair | Black |
| Eyes | Brown |
| Based on | |
| |
| Rap battle information | |
| Appeared in | Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted |
| Vs | Lewis & Clark |
| Release date | May 25, 2015 |
| Official vote(s) | 44% (Old poll from ERB Website) |
| Location(s) | The Circle K |
| “ | ” |
Ted "Theodore" Logan, alongside Bill S. Preston, battled Lewis & Clark as a part of Bill & Ted in Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted. He was portrayed by Nice Peter.
Information on the rapper
Theodore "Ted" Logan is a high school student and resident of San Dimas, California. He is one of the two central characters in the Bill & Ted film franchise. He was portrayed by Canadian actor Keanu Reeves.
Ted is the son of working-class police officer Capt. Jonathan "John" Logan and the older brother of Deacon Logan. Like his best friend and bandmate Bill S. Preston, he would rather focus on his music than his studies. Disappointed by his son's lackadaisical ways and poor History grade, Capt. Logan plans to ship Ted off to Oates Military Academy in Alaska if he does not improve his grades.
Unbeknownst to him and Bill, Rufus, an observer from the future San Dimas, perceives a serious threat to the culture of his era, as the small garage band holds a godlike status in his time. Due to them nearly flunking History, the two must make a presentation and get a passing grade in order to stay together and therefore continue their band, so Rufus lends them his phone-booth time-machine, similar in appearance to the TARDIS from the Doctor Who franchise.
The pair makes a wild run across history in search of help for their presentation, bringing Napoleon Bonaparte, Billy the Kid, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Ludwig van Beethoven, Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, and Abraham Lincoln to the present to give their report in a "show-and-tell" format and successfully pass their History class.
Lyrics
[Note: Ted is in dark red, while Bill and Rufus are in regular text. Both members of the duo rapping at the same time is italicized.]
Verse 1:
Bill's mom is hot, but that joke was most heinous.
I've heard better insults drop from Socrates' anus!
That's my stepmom, Ted! Let's keep it excellent between us,
And show these Boy Scouts how it goes in San Dimas!
We're quick when we spit like Billy the Kid with his guns,
And you'll be verbally kicked in the nut-Sacagawea puns!
A teen mom carried you and your troops?
They should have let the baby lead and put you in the papoose!
And if those native dudes knew what white dudes were gonna do,
They woulda stopped you in Dakota! They should totally Sioux!
Why don't you go back to exploring Napoleon's old swamps?
Or you'll discover your Corps most triumphantly stomped!
Verse 2:
Man, they totally burned us. I feel like such a doofus.
What do we do? I don't know. Be excellent. Rufus!
He's right, dude! We don't have to take this kind of abuse
From some Paul Bunyan dudes in potato sack shoes!
You rode a river one direction; we travel four dimensions,
Rescue bodacious babes, and get back for detention!
I've seen your future, Mr. Lewis, and I don't want to be rude,
But spoiler alert: You totally kill yourself, dude!
So we offer you peace with these resplendent medallions,
And we claim this battle for the Wyld Stallyns!
Trivia
- Along with Bill, Ted is the sixth/seventh rapper associated with time-travel.
- He can be seen wearing a t-shirt featuring the Wright Brothers and the Mario Brothers, referencing how Bill & Ted's opponents, Lewis & Clark, were portrayed by Rhett & Link, who also portrayed the Wright Brothers in Mario Bros vs Wright Bros.
Gallery
