Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki

Season 5
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Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill
Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill
Battle information
Release date December 26, 2016
Number 69
Views 53M
Length 3:09
Previous Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky
Next Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2 (Season 5 finale)
Beat Information
Beat(s) Haunted House
BPM 80
Beat producer(s) Hollywood Legend Productions
Jose "Choco" Reynoso
Nice Peter
Other information
Actors Dan Bull
Nice Peter
Javi Sánchez-Blanco
Dante Cimadamore (body only)
Rappers Theodore Roosevelt In BattleWinston Churchill In Battle
Cameos George Washington (reused footage)
Thomas Jefferson (reused footage)
Abe Lincoln (reused footage)
John Schrank
Location(s) Elizabeth Tower
Mount Rushmore
A smoke stage

Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill is the sixty-ninth installment of Epic Rap Battles of History and the eleventh episode of Season 5. It features the 26th President of the United States of America, Theodore Roosevelt, rapping against two-time Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Winston Churchill. It was released on December 26th, 2016.



EpicLLOYD as Theodore Roosevelt

Dan Bull as Winston Churchill


Nice Peter and Dante Cimadamore as George Washington (head [reused footage] and body actor, respectively) 

Nice Peter and Dante Cimadamore as Thomas Jefferson (head [reused footage] and body actor, respectively)

Nice Peter as Abe Lincoln (reused footage)

Javi Sánchez-Blanco as John Schrank


Theodore Roosevelt:

Bully! A challenge! I love competition!

Now, where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston?

(Ha!) I'm into fitness, digging ditches through an isthmus,

Rough riding down to Cuba like, "What's up, bitches?!"

I keep my rhymes pure like my food and drugs!

I'm an American stud, and you're the British Elmer Fudd!

I mean, for Christ's sake, look at that mug!

At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!

And let's face it, you're not all that great!

You tossed away lives in Gallipoli like they were scraps off your plate!

Your whole miserable country is the size of one state!

I could see my way through running that without donning my pince-nez!

Don't go toe to toe with me, you bloated, drunk, old man!

Why don't you do-si-do on over to a twelve-step program?

I'll bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles,

So walk softly over here and give my big stick a suckles!

Winston Churchill:

Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy.

I'm about to take you out prematurely like your family!

I'm the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket!

You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet!

(Ha!) I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness

While you were back home opening national parks, yes!

You were born asthmatic; you're going to choke hard,

While I wake up every day and chain smoke cigars!

I'll fight you on the beaches; I'll fight you on the beats, yes!

Any way you want to fight, I'll fight ya, and I'll beat ya, see?

I might be battling you even though I'm toasted,

But tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you'll still be roasted!

Theodore Roosevelt:

My parents died when they were young, and it was morbid,

But at least they didn't ditch me while they were alive like yours did!

Oh shit! World War too soon?

Well, Teddy's dropping bombs, so you best go hide in your tube!

(Ooh!) You should be ashamed of your military honor!

Everyone knows you're back at home like, "Thank God for Pearl Harbor!"

Don't worry, the US will give you a pass!

Just change your poster to "Keep calm and kiss my cousin's ass!"

Winston Churchill:

Steady there! I don't think it's very fair

For a British Bulldog to melee with a Teddy Bear!

(Ha!) You're no man; you're an overgrown Boy Scout!

I should stuff you in a pram just so you can throw your toys out!

They put your fat head on a mountain to save face,

But if Rushmore was a band, then you'd play bass!

Look at Roosevelt! The dude's about to lose the bout to Churchill!

If a bullet to the chest won't stop you, my words will!

Theodore Roosevelt:

A bullet can't stop the Bull Moose!

TR will give WC the full deuce!

Winston Churchill:

Whatever shit you throw at me, I'll just return to sender!

I'll battle to the end, and I will never surrender!

Scrapped lyrics

Winston Churchill:

Throw the full weight of my wit against your Bull Moose bullshit!




  • The thumbnail for this battle appears in Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2.
  • During the line "If a bullet to the chest won't stop you, my words will!", the screen turns to black-and-white and stays that way until the "Who won? Who's next? You decide!" scene.
  • This is Nice Peter's second-favorite battle, as mentioned in a video uploaded on February 16th, 2019 on the ERB2 channel.[1]




  • Churchill's hand gesture in his title card is his famous V sign, which he used to refer to the V for Victory campaign.
  • The way Theodore Roosevelt's mouth moves as he says, "What's up, bitches?!", and the phrase itself, are a reference to Roosevelt's appearance and catchphrase in the ERB News videos.
  • The line, "I'm the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket," features the phrase "Rhyme Minister", which also appears in Dan Bull's Twitter account biography.[2]
  • Roosevelt is the fourth and final President whose face appears on Mount Rushmore to be in a battle. This is acknowledged by Churchill in his second verse and by the cameo appearances of fellow Mount Rushmore Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abe Lincoln, who had all rapped previously.
  • During their last verses, lightning flashes in the background, showing a Rough Rider soldier on his horse during Roosevelt’s verse, and World War II paratroopers during Churchill’s.


  • In the line, "You tossed away lives in Gallipoli like they were scraps off your plate!", part of Roosevelt's right arm is cut off.
  • In the line, "Your whole miserable country is the size of one state!", while Churchill is referring to the fact that England occupies 50,000 square miles to Alabama's 52,000 square miles, it is a picture of the entire island of Great Britain that visually morphs into an outline of the American state Alabama, when in fact Great Britain is much larger than Alabama, at 80,000 square miles.
  • In the line, "Why don't you do-si-do on over to a twelve-step program?", "twelve-step" is unhyphenated.
  • In the line, "Steady there! I don't think it's very fair," the word "it's" is misspelled as "its".
  • Dan Bull's hair can be seen under Churchill's hat frequently throughout the battle, even though Churchill was bald.

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Epic Rap Battles of History