aka admiral of the wiki's napkin battalion

  • I was born on December 27
  • My occupation is a wet firework
  • I am procrastinating.
FlareBlitz47 is a user in the Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki. Keep reading, folks.
Nietsche - 'Cause I'm so morphin

Information on the User

Oh, hey. Come here, sit down. Go on. Not on the beanbag, please. Cookies? Milk? Perhaps some scotch? Good. Should I start now? Yes, well, I'm FlareBlitz47, normally called Flare, but why stop there? Call me whatever you want. I'll be fine about it.

So, stuff I like: Well, ERB, that's for sure. A bunch of music, alternative rock, I think that's what they're called. I like games. Everybody does, right? Pokémon. And Final Fantasy. Final Fantasy's fun. And Hitman. I also like the color red.

Things an ERB Wiki Userpage seems to always have

Case One: That Music Player

Birdhouse In Your Soul (Official Video) - They Might Be Giants

Birdhouse In Your Soul (Official Video) - They Might Be Giants

"I'm your only friend, I'm not your only friend, but I'm, a, little glowing friend, but really, I'm not actually your friend; but I am."

Case Two to Four: A Tabber with Winners and A "My Pals" List

  1. John Lennon
  2. Darth Vader
  3. Chuck Norris
  4. Lady Gaga
  5. Hulk Hogan/Macho Man
  6. Beethoven
  7. Stephen Hawking
  8. Easter Bunny
  9. Napoleon Bonaparte
  10. Billy Mays/Vince Offer
  11. Indecisive
  12. Doctor Seuss
  13. Mr. Rogers
  14. Christopher Colombus
  15. Indecisive
  16. Adolf Hitler
  17. Master Chief
  18. Wright Brothers
  19. Elvis Presley
  20. Cleopatra
  21. HAL 9000, Bill Gates
  22. Frank Sinatra
  23. Abe Lincoln, Barack Obama
  24. Doctor Who
  25. Clint Eastwood
  26. Sherlock Holmes
  27. Moses
  28. Adam
  29. Gandhi
  30. Nikola GODDAMN Tesla
  31. Babe Ruth
  32. Mozart
  33. Gorbachev. Special props to Putin.
  34. Vader. I think. Hitler won video.
  35. Al Capone
  36. Miley Cyrus. You read that right.
  37. Pablo Picasso
  38. Michael Jordan
  39. Eh. Best rapper was Kanye or To Come, but does this battle even have a winner?
  40. Walter White
  41. Superman
  42. Stephen King, I guess. Edgar did good too. Maybe it was a tie?
  43. Bill Nye/DeGrasse coalition
  44. William Wallace
  45. boy this thing is lon-I mean, Artists.
  46. Ghostbasters
  47. Clyde and Juliet
  48. Thor. That GDP line is baller on all sides, I keep getting goosebumps hearing it.
  49. Hannibal Lecter
  50. Oprah Winfrey
  51. Steven Spielberg (;_;7 Alfred, you did well)

As some of you may or may not know, some Userpages are prone to being edited by other members of the community.

As such, I have decided to open a tab for your edits. YOU can now edit my page up. Add anything (sensible) you want: pics, gifs, quotes, slander, anything. Just don't go overboard with it, I suppose. SANT wuz heer :p

There's a user page we're allowed to edit. What? ~~~~


Nonspecific Chicken

Stuff & Thangs

Jella was here

DWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinkingDWAS blinking

Flare eats big poops

this user sucks bananas

fgts unite

Bran is a fish!



What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.



Well, I guess that's all of 'em. So, until next time. Farewell!

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