Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki
Epic Rap Battles of History Wiki


This happened a lot sooner than I was expecting lmao. It took a bit longer than Watts vs GLaDOS, but still rather quickly all things considered regarding my usual track record of battle writing. Hopefully I'll return back to a Team RWBY battle at some point, I do wanna get all four of them done before I do them as a team together. It's mainly a matter of deciding what Yang battle I wanna do. I've got a lot of ideas for her and I'm not 100% sold on any quite yet.

Speaking of getting matchups, I'm open to more RWBY suggestions. I don't have anything for JNPR, Cinder, Ozpin/Oscar, or Qrow yet, and those I'd definitely like to do battles for at some point.

As for this battle, it was fun to dive into one of the people from my favorite RWBY team, CFVY, as well as dive back into MLP a bit after a while of having fallen off of it for a while.

Team CFVY's confident leader and fashionista, Coco Adel, battles against the fashionista unicorn of Ponyville and embodiment of the Element of Generosity, Rarity.

Lyrics

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Coco Adel

Listen up, strap in, don my glasses, then make like Fox and turn a blind eye,

To someone who turned into a redneck, train wreck just to impress a guy!

Rarity Takes Manehattan? Rarity should cover that mane with a hat on!

You sure you're not a donkey? Cause it looks like I've got another ass to slap on!

Those crystal tramp stamps are a symbol of your generosity? Please!

With that uptight, pomp attitude, you're more like an Equestrian Schnee!

I'm the Caffeine queen! Taking down douchebags with my Gianduja bag,

When it comes to fashion lines, I'm the riches, you're the rags!

I had thought Neptune was the Shallowest Sea I'd ever see,

But you trade substance in exchange for outer beauty!

Rarity

You can call my style drab, darling, but I think it's divine!

Unlike that silly outfit worn by your crush, Carmine!

It's ironic that your Semblance lets you power up Dust,

When you almost died from her little sandy wind gust!

I may be a girl, but the only thing about you that breaks my heart,

Is they way you parade in that outfit, and call it fashion art!

Your femme-attraction was only covered in Chibi and the novels,

And even that's overshadowed by more important squabbles,

Freeing mind-controlled slaves in the desert? Do you think you're Moses?

It's no wonder the show's focal team isn't yours, but Ruby Rose's!

Coco Adel

You're one to talk focal, when your show focuses on Twilight,

The only time you're a mane attraction is to that little dragon, Spike!

Even without Dust, my bag can still fuck foes up, no misses,

The only other Rarity I see is your verse having good disses!

If you thought we'd be a fair matchup, I'd honestly be flattered,

Except you stitch together clothes as well as you do weather patterns!

Some older sister you are, put some faith in Sweetie Belle,

She's not a baby anymore, since you obviously couldn't tell!

Jax and Gillian went up the hill to overthrow the academy,

But we came around and we broke the Crown with just one casualty!

Just a little bit of Discord turns you into a conduit of greed,

Is your show gonna stop giving redemption which characters don't even need?

Did Yatsu get to you? Cause I think he's wiped your memories,

So here's a reminder I'm the better fashionista down to every last accessory!

Rarity

Big talk about trust, coming from someone with your leader habits,

You won't stop being overprotective of the Scarlatine Rabbit!

Your escapades caused the school to split your team apart,

With team speak strategy, Fox would've been a better leader from the start!

It's Coco-nuts to think anyone would be a fan of this bombshell Adel,

When your inspiration made it to the top by shouting "Sieg Heil!"

There's no wonder you were so infatuated with Emerald's outfit,

When you've admitted those glasses hide the way you check out tits!

The tonal whiplash of your show has got me feeling sickly,

From 0 to 100 in Volume 3, that Esclado'd quickly!

You should NDGO back home, darling, this magic unicorn's got you beaten,

Retreat to a safer place from a fight, just like you did to Beacon!

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