| ask me who joe is | |
|---|---|
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| Battle information | |
| Release date | May 25, 2023 |
| Number | 14 |
| Timeline | |
| Previous | Me vs Abon |
| Next | not happening |
| Beat Information | |
| Beat(s) | right here!! |
| BPM | 91 |
| Beat producer(s) | I did it, it was me! |
| Other information | |
| Actors | Chris Gorbos "Weird Al" Yankovic |
| Rappers | 
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HELLO one and all! Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary friends, did you forget this tourney was happening? I sure didn't! How can I, this is the first time I've ever made the semi-finals of a tourney, this is among my greatest accomplishments (alongside the invention of the frisbee) (that was me, I did that) (you're welcome)
In today's installment of the Oh Please God Just End Already tournament, my opponent is the one and only Joe! You probably know him as User:Joeaikman. I think the best part of this compliment tourney imo has been getting to know the people in it a bit better. I already considered Leah and Abon as pretty close friends of mine before this, but Kung and Joe were people I knew next to nothing about and it's been fun to talk to them and learn more about them! And now it's time for Joe and I to use what we've learned about each other and politely beat the shit out of each other :D
discordapp.com can eat my balls
Like usual, Paddy made the cover image and I made the beat. You can find it here, I think it's up there with the best beats I've made for these tourney battles tbh. Leave a like on this video if you agree!
I've decided I don't give a shit about the intro blurb going past the infobox
First verse begins at 0:21, you can follow along from there
Joe's lines are in this color
My lines are in this color
CABLE!
Oh no, I'm scared! Like actually, your pen is frightening
Seems I just keep running the gauntlet of accomplished writing
The stigma of "Joe's a bad person" seems a bit misguided
Got to know you for this, your vibe's been nothing but inviting
You're a tourney powerhouse, smacking champs without flinching
Your mystical bars shine through, like a not-so-Dark Magician
Though I normally shy away from getting too harsh with jokes
I respect that you have the balls to go to places that I won't
Fuck a manhood, I'm enby; But, though I bet you're not lacking
Who needs to pack more meat than Paddy when you can send Meat packing?
Got a Birdhouse In Your Soul that leaves my heart in a flutter
You've got me at a loss for words, and I'm not talking 'bout my stutter
JOE!
I want to tee this off with honesty and tell you the truth
Might have forgotten Amont, but only cos you’re not a douche
So many memories of this place are tied up with the dark days
Omissions from my mind suggest you weren’t a part of my harsh phase
Representing a sparse state, and I’ll try to avoid any trope pushin’
Rocking a face so fine you’re getting longing looks from your own cousins
You’ve got a personality so magnetic not even that hernia can stay gone
Got the guts to live your life on your own terms because you play strong
Listened to some of your tunes and the bravery cut through to me
I’d never be able to orchestrate something so damn beautifully
Slapped your stutter sideways by singing lyrics fucking fluently
Composed the beat that you’re now using to absolutely ruin me
CABLE!!
You should know you've inspired me to become a writer, too
I created a fictional world in which I have a chance of beating you
When Joe's in a Gathering, it's the Tale of a Legend
You write Through the Eyes of a Tank, it's no surprise I'd come in second
G-G, baby, you're prolific; More interesting matchups than E-R-B
J-O-E writes for G-O-T better than D-N-D
There's really no need to continue, it's just as short as Joe Wins
Bro's already got the battle on lock before It Begins
JOE!!
When I look back at this silly website and all the things it meant to me
I’m glad it's become a place where people can be proud of their identity
In the past, I’ve been crass when it comes to gender and sexuality
Now I’d like to change it up and become an extra dissenter to the travesty
I might be a stranger, Cable, but I’m happy you’re able to be genuine
Expanded on yourself to create a wholly unique specimen
I’m amazed at those who came before, and hope they have empowered you
So to all those who lay the groundwork, I’m sorry and I’m proud of you
CABLE!!!
I'll just be real with you, some people in Freedom
Were really pushing for this because of the "contrast" between us
And I'll admit, if this had happened years ago, I would dread it
But now we've talked and, I'll be honest, I think you deserve more credit
You're clearly trying and the effort is commendable
You're doing great, an arm of forgiveness is always extendable
And you've got big accomplishments: The hurt/heals, you're on top of it
Knew about Night, you always did; you're awesome, there's no stopping it
The status you've achieved, for me, is inaccessible
Your face is music to my eyes, I'm "weezing"; Rivers Cuomosexual
Got as far as I have today by wishing on a Clover
But you're just too skilled to taik, man; and so, my streak? It's Joever
JOE!!!
You want to compare us, but Amont, I couldn’t amount to as much as you
Overcame every challenge that your life has ever put you through
With a positive personality plus a peppy perspective, you’re pretty perfect
Put a lot of strain on your health insurance but you’re absolutely worth it
Got with Gliscor, and if that’s your poison, I wish you good luck in the fervor
Left your partner a little note in the first letters of the first verse
I’m dragging this race, you finished first place, I’m stuck at the bottom
So dismissing me from tourneys is something you’ll both have in common
You’re to this contest like Paddy to his meat, you’re both beating
I sure hope this battle is kosher, because you’re motherfucking eating
You’re gender adjacent and I admire you for reshaping your bliss
And anyone who thinks I won this is like your incorrect pee hole; taking the piss
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| Joeaikman vs Mortal5075 • Cherrae Witch vs King Peggy • Wachowman vs Meatholl • Amontgomery1432 vs ABunchofNumbers |
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| Joeaikman vs Amontgomery1432 • Cherrae Witch vs Meatholl |
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| Meatholl vs Amontgomery1432 |