| Meat vs Mont | |
|---|---|
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| Battle information | |
| Release date | April 28, 2025 |
| Number | 16 |
| Timeline | |
| Previous | Cherrae Witch vs Meatholl |
| Next | NONE PROBABLY |
| Beat Information | |
| Beat(s) | A Hole Filled With Meat |
| BPM | 90 |
| Beat producer(s) | User:Amontgomery1432 |
| Other information | |
| Actors | Zendaya |
| Location(s) | Garfield |
Hello there (I watched the anniversary rerelease of Revenge of the Sith in theaters the other day, so now I have prequel memes on the brain lol)
how the FUCK does fandom work i genuinely forgot lmao
OKAY so yeah' y'all've been waiting on this for long enough and I don't want to make you wait too much longer. I just need to very quickly thank the sponsors of today's video, a demon I met in a forest last week:
His name is Xalzilont and he is offering the first 15 people who comment on this blog 71% off a season pass for the newly-released 10th circle of Hell. This new circle comes with fun attractions, such as being strapped to a spinning wheel and having daggers thrown directly into your pisshole by a little gremlin named Vemps that is also practicing his shitty stand-up routine on you that he's been working really hard on and is extra proud of but is also quite sensitive and is therefore more likely to take too harsh of criticisms as a personal attack even though you don't mean it like that so do try and be gentle with him if you give him notes. If you post a comment after the first 15 slots are filled, not to worry! You can still download the app in the description below and use code OHGODPLEASEHELPMEIAMINAGONY to get 50% off a two-day ticket. Now, back to the battle
So, this was a long time coming. I deeply do apologize for the delay, but now it's finally here and we never have to do this again. HUGE shout out to Meat for doing this, he did a great job. I'm hyped as fuck to be a finalist in a tourney for the first time ever, and I couldn't have asked for a better opponent. If you ever need someone to help you move into a new place, or push your car to the nearest gas station with you if it runs out of gas on the highway, Meat's your guy. As usual, I produced the beat for this one.
My lines are in THIS ONE
Meat's lines are in THAT ONE
I am not using Copilot, Windows 12, you can fuck off with that now
The time has come.
Execute Order 66.
CABLE
Right, so I know this isn’t the battle that people wanted
But, if someone’s gotta hold the door for you, I’d be honored
I’m not a "daddy" guy; I'd like to be, but I'm fathered out
For you, I'll gladly try; I grind on Meat, it's a Slotherhouse
It's been so long, you still go strong! Glad you haven't gotten soft
I mean, you never fought Grav, so there's no way you could've fallen off
You don't go light against Mortals, fear of God's a clear emotion
Flow's tight, press your COCK to my ear and see if I can hear the ocean
You’re endlessly funny, just one emoji and my day is made
Pansexual, but what you cook’s enough to fully make me gay
You're a champion to me; in my eyes, you beat Flats
Call this a sequel, history proves your rapping won't b flat
MEAT
B flat? You were tryna BE Flats and my fight or flight engaged 😨
Makes sense, since you both put Holls in their rightful place
Done forever, so why did I delay? I guess that’s my mistake
But “Goode things come to those who wait”, so I’d refrain till my dying days!
My final fate, losing to an amalgamation of my opponents
Wach’s creativity shown in composing the beat used in this moment
The friendliness of Rae, boasting a caring heart with no enemies
And Dragon’s tried and true ‘always being who you’re meant to be’
So I could never walk a mile in the boots of this cute Goode Two-Shoes
I tell presidents to fuck off cause dude knew I only ever choose you
But while my niceness is performative, with you there’s no stopping it
How are you the soul of the Wiki yet also fucking embody it?
CABLE
Been in a rough spot mentally, lately, I’m lacking confidence
I open this back up, your kind words blast me back to consciousness
Performative or not, your niceness has helped me in many ways
Even if I don’t produce the track, I’ll sing your praises any day
Throwing you a home run is the finest moment of my life
Been tryna get to third base with you since the bottom of the 9th
I’m a virgin at sex jokes, but, when you’re around, it cums naturally
Now let me show you what I learned from Walmart, I can handle meat 😉
MEAT
W-wait did you just say b-bottom?😳 Now I can’t even think of a rebuttal
Hell I’d Club Dreamiverse to death for you just for a chance of us to cuddle (only reason)
Cause Kungfu guys turn pacifist, eclipsing anyone you’re matching with
Are you enby because THEY say ‘DAMN’ when they see that massive dick?
With that log you’re carrying, I can see why you got a ruined back
You know what I’d call the gift of your balls on my face? A Goodie bag
And I wouldn’t feel insecure when we cuddle in bed at night 💏🏼
Cause it took ages for me to perform and you still are satisfied
CABLE
When the time comes to vote, I bet the process will end quickly
You’ll find that the Ex-KGB is the best MC in the ERB Wiki!
MEAT
Fuck a stutter, those letters feel revered when you repeat them
And with a Cable this Goode, I got bungee jumpers in my DM’s
CABLE
As the tourney draws to a close, I’ll give you your residuals
The past is in the past, now your presence is a gift to all
You’ve dwelled here for twelve years, you’re someone we’re in debt to
I don’t remember the fifth of November, but I’ll never forget you
MEAT
Thank you all for this tourney, and while I have the floor
It’s a perfect ending note like my Spotify Wrapped 2024
Yes, the “it’s the friends we made along the way” might sound the corniest
But getting to know you better has already made me feel victorious 🏆
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| Joeaikman vs Mortal5075 • Cherrae Witch vs King Peggy • Wachowman vs Meatholl • Amontgomery1432 vs ABunchofNumbers |
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| Joeaikman vs Amontgomery1432 • Cherrae Witch vs Meatholl |
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| Meatholl vs Amontgomery1432 |