I've been having strange dreams lately, all of which involve a show I like to watch called Phineas and Ferb. It's a good show. Funny, catchy songs, good characters. I like it. I like it a lot. But I don't like these dreams I've been having. They involve an episode of the show that was too demented and horrifying for viewers, but I don't know if it exists. It can't! That's the type of stuff you only find in CreepyPastas, isn't it? After about three weeks of nightly dreaming of this episode, I decide to take to the internet and learn more. I go on an online Phineas and Ferb forum and explain what I see in my dream, in the hopes somebody - anybody - else knows what I'm talking about. An hour passes until I get a response.
"You're having the dream, too?" it read.
"That didn't help me at all." I say aloud. Then I type out a response: "Yes! You know what I'm referring to? What does this mean?"
Several minutes go by until another response is sent: "I don't know, but it isn't good. I've been doing research and trying to get to the bottom of this for weeks now. It's all been fruitless."
At that moment, I decided to conduct my own research into this awful nightmare. My first stop: Google. I type in the name of the episode that the dream gave me into the search bar: "The Death of Perry the Platypus". This has gotta be some type of joke. To my surprise and dismay, though, search results actually pop up. I see a link to a blog post on the Phineas and Ferb wiki called "The Death of Perry the Platypus". Is this it? Is this what I've been looking for for all of two seconds? My only way of finding out is to click the link, so that's exactly what I do.
The only thing the blog post has on it is a video, which is titled "The Death of Perry the Platypus - A Lost Episode?". Intrigued, I click the video. It starts playing. The theme song starts playing like normal.
"There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation, and school comes along just to end it!" I gleefully sing along. As an eight-year-old, pansexual being that identifies as an assault rifle, this is my favorite song. The theme song plays in it's entirety like normal, except for the last part: "MOOOOM! Phineas and Ferb are FUCKING DEAD!"
"Wow, that was weird!" I think to myself.
The episode opens with Phineas and Ferb laying under the tree like normal. Suddenly, Phineas is standing up. It happened so fast, it was almost like the animators forgot to draw him standing up.
"Hey, Ferb." Phineas says without even looking at Ferb. "I know what we're gonna do today."
"Oh, yeah, Phineas? What's that?" I joyfully respond to the computer screen as if it could hear me.
Phineas turns his head to face directly into the camera and says, with a deep, demonic voice, "DIE!"
I jump back out of fear. This was a first for this show: Outright scary imagery. We suddenly cut to Perry flying around in his jetpack. We didn't get to see him interact with Major Monogram, so I guess he had an urgent mission to take care of. Out of nowhere, a rocket flies on-screen and strikes Perry! He explodes in a blaze of glory.
"Whoa!" I say out of shock.
We cut back to Phineas, who looks up and sees the explosion. "Holy Muslim Ashley Tisdale!" he says.
Back at the scene of the explosion, the camera pans over to reveal who fired the rocket: It was Dr. Doofenshmirtz!
"Suck my wiggily dick, Perry the Platypus! Ya biiiiiiiitch!" he triumphantly exclaims.
Perry's charred skeleton falls to the ground and shatters onto the road. Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and the parents rush out in the middle of the streets to see what happened.
"Holy shit!" the Dad yells as Phineas picks up one of the bones and then immediatey throws it back down because it burned his hand.
"Mom, is that Perry?" Candace asks.
'Who the hell else has a pet in this neighborhood, you long-necked giraffe lookin' bitch?" the Mom answers
I've never seen Phineas look this sad before. The scene cuts to showing Phineas sitting on his bed strumming a guitar. Ferb is laying on his bed staring at the ceiling.
"I hurt myself today," Phineas sings, "To see if I still feel"
Candace burts into the room and points at Phineas.
"MOOOM! Phineas and Ferb are being emos again!" she screams
In the distance, the Mom is heard sighing and fiddling with some keys. It's unclear what she's doing yet.
"Candace, do you know why you were given that name?" Ferb asks, finally saying his usual one line per episode. "It's because, before you were born, your father would always say "Can dis dick fit in your mouth" to your mother."
"We have the same parents, dumbass." Candace retorts.
Suddenly, the Mom walks into the room holding a shotgun.
"Candace, sweetie, look away." She says. "We have to put your brothers down."
"MOM HOLY FUCK!" Candace yells.
The Mom fires a bullet into Phineas's chest. Ferb looks at his stepbrother's dead body, and then turns his head to his mother.
"I didn't like him anyway, he was so annoying." Ferb says in an attempt to plead for his life.
"Do you hear laurel or yanny?" the Mom asks.
"Yanny." Ferb answers, resulling in the Mom blowing his face off with the shotgun.
The Mom looks at Candace. "You saw." she says. "You'll tell."
"I won't tell a soul, Mom, I swear!"
"I know." the Mom retorts while raising the gun to be pointed at Candace's head. "I'll make sure of it."
The screen cuts to black at the same time the gunshot is heard. That's how the episode ended. Just like that. I'm shocked, scared, and shitting myself all at the same time. But, you know what the scariest part of all of this was?
I'm YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
