I've gone from not knowing what the fuck a Barney Stinson is to watching every episode of How I Met Your Mother and loving them and learning other shit Neil Patrick Harris has done, for example Dr. Horrible, which led me to making my Dr. Horrible VS The Music Meister off-season battle, just to make this battle.
Glad I did, hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed searching for information... on both sides, I also very much enjoyed some textbook reading 'bout Casanova, from what I could find, though most is just from his wikipedia page... probably can find the info I did not take from that on there as well.
Anyways, I'm rambling on, before you guys read the battle I would like to give a lay-out of the coming weeks. Next week will be an episode of BreZ MuZik, the week after will be the mid-season finale of BZRB season 2, which was originally supposed to be this battle, I would've written a fourth verse for each competitor for it or a Charlie third party, for which I watched all of Two and a Half Men already, but I've yet to finish Anger Management, wanted to do references from all over... I'm rambling on again... okay, next week BreZ MuZik, week after my original Season 2 Premier plan, the week after you'll get Access to a new series, week after I'll drop another BreZ MuZik, week after, idk, my exams will have been over for two weeks already, I'll see if I can finish my planned collabs, either that or I'll already drop the first battle of the new series which I've already finished, nearly finished the second one too, just two more lines for each competitor... anyways, let's get started with the actual battle now, cause I doubt many people read till the end of this already, cause it currently looks like a giant wall... I probably wouldn't read this wall and skip straight to the battle, but (shrug).
Let's give some thanks to the soon to come Itunes Cover created by none other then SkeepTieel, thanks again mate <3
BREZ RAP BATTLEZ!
Challenge accepted! I will beat this bitch and win all the glory
And I never ever fail on an accepted challenge! True story
Everything I do is Legen- wait for it –dary! LEGENDARY!
I’m always picture perfect, rich, magical and debonair, see?
Not to mention my pedigree; One month I got a girl for every day
You really wanna play? Then your game better be as good as you say
Cause I go by the name Barney Stinson: Player King of New York City
Who created a book filled with plays, every single one of them witty
I also wrote the Bro-Code and from my mind the Lemon Law spawned
Your history makes everyone yawn, while mine’s simply awesome!
I heard you boast, now prepare for a roast as Casanova ripostes
While you spent time with a failed artist, architect, lawyer and news host
I spent my time with luminaries, royals, dope popes and cardinals
And I’m ‘bout to slap you harder than you have ever been by Marshall
You’re not legendary, you’re imaginary, never had a real girl
While Casanova is synonymous with womanizer through the whole world
You can call me Big Fudge, ‘cause you’re being judged, don’t care if you hold a grudge
My swag is like artworks in a museum, bitch, I cannot be touched
Yo, I am a Bro On the Go, Robin hearts like a pro (ohhh)
You know there’s no way your so-so flow can step to this mofo
Face me and you’ll get as fucked up as any other dumb bitch
You think you can beat me? That’s rich, you must be eating a sandwich
I’m sure you have met Ted, both of you got your heads in the clouds
Every one loathes you, even your parents for crying out loud
Yes I admit, you have swag, but swag is for boys, while class is for men
You’re known as a player but all you score are ones, while I score tens
You can’t beat the undisputed, oft-saluted suitor of repute
You’re simply not suited up for rap, while it suits me like a suit!
Second verse, I’ll break you down like you did the Arcadian
Make you feel worse than when you found out you are Canadian
I’m a spy, pimp, businessman, writer, mathematician,
Diplomat, medic, clergyman, playwright, politician,
Lawyer, violinist, con man, military officer,
Dancer, cabalist, gourmand and a social philosopher!
Leave you Puzzled on how I get girls buzzin’ by the dozens
While you're still busy grinding your own fuckin’ cousin
Neither Ted nor Marshall sees you as their friend, rather a bother
Don’t think you’re gonna tell your daughter how you met her mother
You're nothing but a Joker, and your brawn’s all petty
I’ll steal this win and then I’ll steal your girl, Manon Balletti
This time there’s no blaming Venice’s air when I make you bleed, see?
I’m gripping mics, rapping meanly; You’ll feel this loss ever so keenly
All your rapping is futile, you’re ripping off a soldier’s style
Only thing I don’t get is why they'd let you return from exile
You just got licked like how Ted and I licked Lady Liberty
You’ll remember this bitterly as I didn’t need trickery to get the victory
I’ll take the victory, Story of My Life; I can say vixi!
Unlike you I don’t need the girls I pick up to be tipsy
You took a risky gamble, trying to diss me, burn you crispy
When it comes down to the nitty gritty all you are is a hippie
Who really likes to dress pretty like he’s a little sissy
Just so you know, you don’t make that suit look classy; I’m more savvy
My girls can afford to dress fancy, while yours have to dress trashy
Your game is like your raps, see? Nothing but crappy; Now who’s your daddy?