It's gonna take a while before my first season finale, so let's enjoy an off-season in the mean while. It's Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones against Cora from Once Upon A Time. Now, let's get it started.

BEAT: Dark Heart







Tywin Lannister

Once Upon A Time there was a peasant who wanted to play the Game of Thrones.

Guess the one rule of the game: You either Tywin or you die, wasn’t known.

You can’t burn me, so how about you just call me Daenarys

If you think you can, you’re madder than Jefferson or Aerys.

In a minute I’ll turn this misfit into a bigger timid dimwit than Hodor

And a bigger coward than Rumplestiltskin during the Ogre War

Ask Sidney Glass on the wall, I’m the one who kicks your ass to its downfall.

Like the Wizard of Oz, you’re just a disguise, neither great nor powerful.

Like the Mountain I over-tower you, like Tyrion you couldn’t be any shorter.

How will you diss me, you owe your death princess from Disney, this is your slaughter.

You’re just a miller’s daughter, all your nobility is you pretending.

You can’t win because in your world, villains don’t get a happy ending.


This is like the night you died, only the shit is flowing out your other side.

Step up to me, you’ll end up just like the mother of Snow White.

I’ll show you I’m much more than just a miller’s daughter.

This lion has a loud roar, but he is as toothless as his father.

My flow is as cold as a White Walker, but my burns are way hotter.

Spinning my lines into gold, blow you straight out of the Blackwater.

I Hook in the win, because all your lines are bad form.

I’ll cause you more pain than your Dwarf-like third born.

Tywin, you couldn’t even see that your own twins

Where completing the sin of fucking their own kin.

Ask Rumplestiltskin, you couldn’t ever pay magic’s price.

The only throne you get to sit on, is a throne of lies.


Magic has a price? Well a Lannister always pays his debt.

Even with my heart still in, I’ve killed countless bodies, no sweat.

A family’s legacy is all that lives on, but if you think yours will, you’re dead wrong.

You will only be remembered as a head on a pike or a name in a song.

You’re just a Mr. Gold-digger while I’m a Lannister Lion of pure gold.

Your power-fetish made you consider a crocodile skinned man who was ages old.

And so you speak, just like that proud Lord of Castamere,

The rains will weep o'er your hall, with no one there to hear. 


Stepping up to me, you will pay the price, but it isn’t a debt.

First I’ll shred you to pieces and then it’s OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

I spit like I was raised on the street, see?

Even Joffrey could see that you can’t beat me.

Your family already erased every possibility at a legacy

I’ll make you turn green from envy as I easily take the victory.

I’ll rename this mockery Ty-lose (That line is overused) Shush it!

I’m the Queen of Hearts, so I’ll take yours out and crush it.



The poll was created at 08:02 on November 29, 2014, and so far 5 people voted.

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