Mortal vs. Meatholl. The 11th Official Wiki Rap Tournament

Mortal vs. Meatholl
Battle information
Release date	May 30th, 2023
Number	6
Timeline
Previous	Peggy vs. JK03
Next	no
Beat Information
Beat(s)	hype
Other information
Actors	Da Meat Da Mort

Hey it's me AGAIN again. I almost don't even wanna do my usual preamble nonsense for this one, because I've been very excited about this battle since I started making matchups. This one has been cooking for a while and I think it's about to be worth every second of it, I just wanna get to it right away. I'm going to reread it immediately after posting.

Former staff member, pope sloth himself and professional rappist Meatholl is going toe to toe with the Champ of the 8th, the only man who goes less light than Night, it's the Husky Ruskie himself; Mortal! These two are absolute legends in both rap battles here and the wiki as whole, the reasons why are where your mileage may vary, but there's no denying these are two huge names who I'm very excited to see what they have to say to each other.

Like with JK vs. Peggy I don't wanna ramble on too too much because I wanna save it for a write up (I'm absolutely doing it, they haven't even asked). But before I begin, I wanna stress that these two cooked behind the scenes, I'm reading a lot of this just as live as all of you and I'm super fucking stoked about that. God this is gonna go so hard, let's get it you two.

Okay you can stop making out now serious please stop there are children around here.

The Battle!!!

Mortal:

Man I admired you but that was before I looked at all your porn chats

Like I don’t know if chronic masturbation makes you the Chad wojack

And yeah we all said edgy shit cause no one really minded

You just missed the part where you're supposed to grow up and not still stand behind it

I had a neck-to-neck semi/finale, still won them without cheating

You cheated in yours out of spite even though you were winning

A masculinity so fragile is a tell-tale sign of a limp dick

Dumbass used enhancement drugs in a race vs a paralympic

They’re not biased, you just suck, that shit’s some major projection

Why'd you pick Biden, the other dudes about voting insurrections

Yeah I remember the 5th of November, I think I was with your mother

She went against the church and conspired to blow me down under

Meatholl:

From spud to Sputnik, these champs are fuckwits, it’s embarrassing

So fuck if stars align, you’ve always sucked with Hitler comparisons

You met the chimp and ever since stopped evolving? Baffling!

An amateur battled him with a massive win? What’s happening? (HUH?)

Why’s a tourney winner such an insecure, dick-eating prick?

Whose projected so much self hate he just went ahead and remixed it

Attention-seeking needy bitch, yet when you give one measly tip

He praises himself and loves to blame accents if rhymes seem amiss (Aargh!)

How’d you make bars your personality yet all your schemes are shit?

And why am I battling you when I already wrote bars that I beat you with?

So sure I’ve never won a tourney, but if winning leads to this

Then thank god I’ve never won the title, cause you’ve made it meaningless

Mortal:

You know just because you can doesn’t mean you should cross boundaries of what should be said

But your slurs just aren’t creative so here's some r words to describe you instead

A rude fuck we rarely respect, a raging rape joke reject

Yet the most fitting one that I can find for you is regret

Cause that's how we feel bout you, 6 years passed, still haven't grown

That sloth fits cause shit that fucking progress is slow

Nathaniel Bandy over here talking bout being black should feel ashamed

You rap irl? About what? Your life is like a videogame?

Meatholl:

Thanks Eminehhh for that thesis! (I’m being facetious) 🤪

Business as usual; they skip you and go straight to where the Meat is

From complexity to faking it, all these crutches show you’re terrified

But if you lean on hosts again, I’ll leave this parasite paralyzed

And sure, you’re bumping uglies, since you’re used to disgusting streaks

But that don't make you Kitana, so boy, you cannot fuck with me!

This battle’s like that relationship, they both must feel like home

Cause of course a communist’s girlfriend would be publicly owned

Mortal:

Yeah I feared this feud but unlike you I’d never escape from a brawl

Like “I’m too scared to battle Joe, they lost to Dave Grohl Cave Troll!”

That match’s the third thing you never went near after “grass” and “the shower”

And damn, I didn’t know that ex-KGB leaders could fail to stay in power

The big bad villain of the wiki? You’re not on that level

You’re like iCarly’s Nevel if……no you’re just iCarly’s Nevel

You said all these things about me and yeah some of that shit’s true

But even if I'm man enough to admit when I lose then what does that say about you

Acts all Meathollier than thou but it's all kind of in vain

Obnoxious dickfarts stick together, that’s why you’re still buds with Reign

Saying wild shit is an artform and this cuntmuffin mistreats it

Call me Pee-wee Herman, bitch, cause I’ve got bars when I beat Meat

Meatholl:

“Actors” should practice what they preach when they play pretend

Maybe then we’d see long lines at the entrance that made some sense

That battle didn’t age well?🥺 But your shit’s always new and Fresh?

Wait, what? Racist stereotypes are bad? Who would’ve guessed? 🤯

So it’s not just your speech that makes me worry about slurs in your rap

But it’s just a persona, guys! After all, his fake girlfriend was Black!

We walk all over Fedoormat, or should I call you Foreign Gump?

Cause without you being a running gag, you’re just a boring cunt

Fuck what your efforts are, how can you have no class but spit seminars?

Inherited your dad’s repertoire; nothing but obsessed with bars

In the end, your career’s a waste of space that’s barely getting by

So bring honour to your name, Mortal, and fucking let it die

TBA vs TBA • TBA vs TBA

TBA vs TBA