Hello, everyone. And welcome to Animeme (text only) Rap Battles! It's just like Animeme Rap Battles, but text only, and actually good!

As you can tell from the match-up, this was supposed to be a Halloween battle to be released on or near Halloween, but real life has got in the way of me finishing this until just now. Still, spooky memes are always welcome, amirite?

This battle pits three spoopy skeleton memes; The Spooky Scary Skeletons, Mr. Bomes’ Wild Ride, and Sans from Undertale, against three creepy clown memes; The recent trend of Clown Sightings, creepypasta Laughing Jack, and Racka Racka’s portrayal of the fast food mascot Ronald McDonald

I wrote for all the Clowns, Legion wrote for all the Skeletons.

Let's Do This!

Beat: Hallucinations

The Battle

Spooky Scary Skeleton

(starts at 0:13)

These Pagliacci punks thought to terrorize towns

But then a Spooky Scary Skeleton popped out!

I'm 2Spooky, you're two spoopies, sacred tones

Contrasting my deep melodies, you're horror barebones

Gold Standard spine-shiverers, but you've no backbone

Even less than the Facebookers you leave driving on

Disney knockers diss kneeknockers from the hood

And drive you out of your red neck of the woods!

Clown Sighting

(starts at 0:40)

This isn't the Skeleton War! We're not on Tumblr anymore!

Clowns are invading the real world, so lock your doors!

Stalkings, sightings and shootings all in time for Halloween

While you're plaguing computer screens with shit gifs and shitter memes

Nobody's actually spooped by you or The Living fucking Tombstone

But now you should be afraid because we was phone!

Hide yo kids and hide yo wife. These are no longer halcyon days

And drink your l'il pumpkin spice latte for the calcium, gays!

Mr. Bones

(starts at 1:08)

All right, Jackie! I'mma swing at ya like your carousel!

You make my bones jangle, I'll Harlem Shake you until you tell

Why a headcase's Weasel Pops when James sucks his candies

All types can ride and a tycoon don't lose, I'll be candide

You're in for the night, this dream machine's more than fantasy

This Voodood gets head even after he hides the body

I've a boner! Your narrative harks to my curves and bends

Pull down your safety bar - cuz this Ride Never Ends!

Laughing Jack

(starts at 1:35)

Let me dissect those lines, but if you make me laugh, it’ll be agony…

...For you! Clown around with me, you’d better plead insanity!

I want to get off now! See, I know you like endless loops,

But a second 2spooky skeleton’s repetitive even for you!

A theme park with just one coaster that takes four years? Ooh, I’m scared!

I could make a better park in my sleep, with your nightmares!

I cut kids and dogs open! You’re just a game! Who’ve you ever hurt?

I survived your ‘wild ride’ and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!


(starts at 2:02)

It's a grim night outside, the only light's the Cluckin' Chicken

But your bleeding imbalances prove this woman belongs in Hell's Kitchen

You're bonedry! I'm not one tibia-nnoyed, Gaster Blast my ultimate attack

The radius won't leave spare ribs, like you McRipped them off the rack

It's like the ad you couldn't stand through came true - you're free!

Hot diggety dog! It's clear your Mother's headed to Burger King!

There's a skele-ton of reasons why your knife tricks won't kill me

You've bored me out of my skull, so I'll take the shortcut to Grillby's 👍👍👍👍

Ronald McDonald

(starts at 2:29)

Hey there, buddy chum pal chummy pal chum friend!

I don’t mean to be rude, but Undertale’s a dead trend!

You judge my food? You judge me? You think you’re any good at judging people?

You let that dirty brother killer go and didn’t stop her till she was evil!

And if you sell one more fucking hot dog I’ll introduce to you my chainsaw!

Fuck laws! I’ll get MediEvil on your cyclops ass and rip off your jaw!

I’m hardcore as fuck from the wrestling ring to the playground

I think this it’s bullshit that you can get fans just by adding Tumblr memes to Earthbound!

<poll> BEST CLOWN? Clown Sighting Laughing Jack Ronald McDonald

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