Cover will be out soon, but I won't be around for a while + I need to get another MBOHS out by the 31st so ye, best to post it now. This was the first Season 3 battle I finished and finally Bran can orgasm. Obscure af I know but pls read and get e-d-u-c-8-ted. (y) You may recognize Maui as one of the two protagonists in the upcoming new Disney movie Moana, and Manco Capac founded the Incan Empire but he's largely regarded as a myth today. Yeet.
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Lyrics[]
Maui:[]
pulls a hog tied Grav out of his sack
Hold on, let me ask this hormonal prick some questions,
On why he put a god against a dude who lost to poor digestion
Whose flow is probably slower than BranFu guesting,
I promise you won’t feel better after this blood-letting
squashes Grav between his fingers
I’m extreme, Sun King, break a whale’s neck with one swing,
While your descendants break their backs just by making a pair of jeans
I mean, while they work they dream of coming to me,
Relaxing basking sipping smoothies on the beaches of Maui (Ooh)
I’m the defined hunter, ripping past you ‘cause you aren’t worthy to be my prey
Because if you were, South America would have another extinct race
But maybe if you begged for your life, I’d give you a chance,
Go pluck another pigeon, and let’s have a proper dance
Your Lines are so ancient, I dub them Nazca,
Pack away that hot chocolate, have a sip of magma
Manco Capac:[]
I took a gulp, guppy fucker, that’s why I’m spitting out fire!
I’m the loco Tamputoco you’re just a Fisherman for hire!
I burned a road from Cuzco to the empire you’ll Peru!
When my men come and conquer, you’re choking on my flu!
You can call me Adam Sandler for I’ll be pissing on Hawaii,
Leaving Maui screaming “Owie!” when I whack him with my champi!
Then I’ll roll you over with my bola, while you’re sleeping with Pimoe,
Feel the Power of Five fingers in a fist at your face when Manco flows!
I’m the second largest Ayar that’s ever gonna rock,
I’m taking this battle the way your wife took your cock
Your tales are contradicting, confusing, you love peace and violence?
Your life must have inspired Lost’s plot, but at least it got off the fucking island!
Maui:[]
You dare bring up my wife? You slept with your sister and Mama, (gross!)
I’m the Big Bad Big Bog cutting through you like the Hana road!
You’re obscure, nothing much, are you even a true myth?
We can’t even think of enough stuff to bullshit your Wikipedia with!
I guess you haven’t heard of white men if you want to talk flu,
There’s already one dope Pac, and there can’t be 2
Manco Capac:[]
My style’s like your mother’s clothes, man that shit never gets dry,
Historians are still digging up my kingdom, you lack a tug on your lines
This fisherman was the OP in Hawaii until Disney gave you a Stitch,
And even then this Sapa Inca Sapa thinks you’re a bitch!
Why? I can feed an empire if I just fried my fucking grits
Yet it takes you a fucking year to kill a motherfucking fish?
My name means to “wage war with real kings” so I gotta go fulfill it
If gravity had your crafted your rhymes, how come you ain’t dropping shit?
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
LEGIT WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE
YOU DECIDE!
MYTHICAL RAP BATTLES OF HISTORICAL!
logo is impaled by Maui's fishhook and snagged away, then dropped back down
SHIT!
Poll[]
Hint for Next Battle[]
| Mythical Battles of Historical Stuff | ||
|---|---|---|
| Season 1 | Hansel and Gretel vs Jack and Jill • Atlas vs Earth Turtle • Mowgli vs Tarzan • Aladdin vs Master Thief • Aztec vs Hindu • David vs Jack • Mulan vs Pope Joan • Slenderman vs the Bogeyman • The 12 Labors | |
| Season 2 | Three Bears vs Three Pigs • Davy Jones vs Bloody Mary • Gilgamesh vs Beowulf • Fu Manchu vs Allan Quartermain • Snow White vs Sleeping Beauty • Odysseus vs Sinbad • Zorro vs Robin Hood • Baldur vs Achilles • Hades vs Osiris | |
| Season 3 |
Area 51 vs Shangri-La • John the Baptist vs Priapus • The Three Wise Men vs Journey to the West • Thor vs John Henry • Romulus and Remus vs Cain and Abel • Maui vs Manco Capac • Samson vs Rapunzel • Jack Frost vs the Snow Queen • King Midas vs Nicholas Flamel | |
| News | Series Announcement • 1.5 News With Pope Joan • Season 2 News With Zorro | |
| Off-Season |
Robespierre vs the Headless Horseman • The Gingerbread Man vs Frosty the Snowman | |