Bear Grylls vs Steve Irwin is the seventh installment of Historical Epic Rap Battles and the seventh episode of Season 1. It features British adventurer, writer, and television presenter, Bear Grylls, rapping against Australian wildlife expert, television personality, and conservationist, Steve Irwin, to see who is truly more in touch with nature. It was released on August 7th, 2016.
[Insert Bear Grylls title card here.]
[Insert Steve Irwin title card here.]
(Beat starts at 1:11)
I'm Bear Grylls, and today I'm joined by an Aussie chap who's made a terrible blunder.
I'll skin him to the bone and consume his flesh through the culmination of pure hunger!
This is A Survival Guide for Life! Step 1: don't step to me when I'm on the mic!
I'll toss this scrimpy shrimp on the barbie till he's been Gryll'd every which way,
Sending him into more distress and dismay than the sensation of being suddenly struck by a stingray!
Crikey, mate! Call me Chris Hemsworth 'cause the Crocodile Hunter's bringing the thunder
When I stomp on sloppy survivalists who tussle with blokes from the Land Down Under!
I'll put my fist through the piss-drinking lips of the Brit who spits drier than a dead dingo's donger!
With all that grit, you look like a bloody brown-eyed mullet when you go for a dip in the water!
And finally, I'll dump you on some rocks the same way you left your son all alone out at sea!
I'm still relevant in my element; eminently shining brighter than the Gold of the Gods!
Then you'll inevitably return for another round of being abused more than your kid!
Like your insignificant cameo roles in films, your defeat'll be rather quick!
I'm Running Wild with celebrities, while you're sleeping with the fishes!
You can't see True Grit till you witness the wits used to gruesomely spit in these conditions!
So piss off, or else I'll string your khaki-wearing arse up in a tree!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go make myself a cup of pine needle tea.
Enjoy your cuppa, mate! There'll be no more coming the raw prawn with me!
Like your trip to Antarctica, my victory'll leave you medically evacuated immediately!
If you ever come back to 'Straya, I'll bury your filthy clacker in a casket!
I'll be mourned for eternity! Your death? The world would eventually move passed it!
Before I carked it, I followed the path to success; I'll send you on a Collision Course to your demise!
I had a wild life wrestling with wildlife; your best achievement's the scripted shows you devise!
You just got bogged down deeper than the flowing jungle river you nearly drowned in!
Ripping this pommy bastard into bits was one hell of a fair dinkum Ir-win!
Hints for next battle
|Season 1||The Avengers vs Justice League • Rick Grimes vs Walter White 2 • Neil Armstrong vs Amelia Earhart • Slenderman vs Zodiac Killer • Ryu & Ken vs Scorpion & Sub-Zero • N.W.A vs The Three Musketeers • Bear Grylls vs Steve Irwin • Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud • The Doctor vs Rick Sanchez • Lee & Clementine vs Joel & Ellie • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • Season 1 Finale|
|Off-Season||Octopus vs Spoon • George Washington vs Washing Machine • Socrates vs Jaden Smith • Kim & Kanye vs Glenn & Maggie|
|Season 1||Steve Irwin vs Hugh Jackman • Saint Valentine vs Cupid • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA|
|The Dead Among Us Wiki Edition|
|Season 1||S01E01 (The Beginning Of The End) • S01E02 (A Place To Call Home) • S01E03 (Keep Moving) • S01E04 (With Or Without Walls) • S01E05 (Fight Or Die) • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA • TBA|