Joeaikman vs Mr. Swell Guy - Second Official ERB Wiki Compliment Rap Compliment ERB Rap Wiki Rap Tournament

Joeaikman vs Mr. Swell Guy
Battle information
Release date	14/10/2022
Number	1
Timeline
Previous	none
Next	uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Beat Information
Beat(s)	hon hon
Other information
Rappers	britain

fuck you mortal its this name

hello welcome to the first battle of the second official erb wiki compliment tourney. today we are friends, and we all love eachother.

today i present to you the greatest rap battle of our time, a journey of joy, whimsy and homoeroticism the likes of which have never been seen before.

joe aikman does not suck. not today at least.

the beat is cool ive saved it for some time its nice its neat joe didnt write to it because ofc he didnt so if he flows bad thats not his fault really.

i had loads of fun writing and i hope joe did too!!! have fun reading!!!

good luck joe this was a blast hope you live the rest of your life happy knowing you were able to make me laugh at least once ever

Patric:

Holy fuck, of all the possible opponents there is to pick

I'm delighted to get you, because folks know I love a huge dick

In just the ability to not give a fuck nobody's on Joe's level

The way he puts his 'tism in the rhythm you just know he flows special

It's been like half a decade since slaying the Dragon

Smashing crabs, scattering the ashes and mashing a champion

All the shit that you've dealt with, I'm sure that you can withstand this

Basically, you're great, and yes I can definitely expand on this

Because you know I actually see quite a lot of you in me

Primarily figuratively, but hopefully physically

We both say a lot of things that are probably worth condemning

But you've made semis twice, and you give me twice a semi

Your skill is elite, causing even Meat to retreat

It's all "Oh no! I'm scared!" when Joe comes to compete

I could go on for ages, there's so many great stories about you

Frankly, everything's been real fucking boring without you

Josef:

That shit was nice, Paddy; got guys wetter than a rice paddy

But slow down, you still wanna keep that sphincter tight, paddy

Got a back hander from the host, and he told me in complete secrecy

That your cocks impressive in its length, girth, and sperminal frequency

No wonder you’re a slayer and a player, as if I needed a reminder

The Adonis on the Maun is the only guy that’s 100%’d all of Grindr

Causing all that bone growth, you’re making Mortal moan loads

Even your uvulas sexy, that’s why you caress the back of your own throat

Now I’m sure your mum and dad are glad they never had that abortion

You’re only sucking Mortal’s dick, cos you’re a fan of small portions

Keeping it trim, slim-lined, gotta keep that physique looking handsome

When you're spending every night getting railed by the Mansfield mandem

Patric:

For a writer this experienced, beating me's no trouble, you see

You were already an icon while I was still AWC

You've got ten times my posts, thirteen times my edits

8 times my tourney entries and you stomp my writing credits

Maybe you're The Bad Guy with all the bigotry and trans jokes

But you're still the only person kind enough to give Mortal a vote

Everyone's a flawed person, but Joe, I really promise

You could always get a hell of a lot worse than "he's too honest"

Josef:

Let me just pause from the jokes, take my sarcasm outta the fire

Because if I’m being honest, Patric, there’s lots about you I admire

Your openness about sexuality leaves me fundamentally inspired

And is a portrait of genuine outwardness toward which I aspire

Hiding behind an edgy façade, or in the shadows of my own infamy

Lost in this idea that the people on the wiki have it in for me

But the reality is that we all have these personal demons that we wrestle with

And you approach yours with a humour that I could never level with

So yes, you have your flaws, but as humans we all go through such

For you it’s not eating your food, for me its eating a bit too much

So I guess in being singular, we’re actually pretty similar

Not an insult, you just make my real feelings be less insular

Patric:

Thanks for all the props, Joe, I appreciate your forwardness

My mental problems only grant me a sort of uncomfortable awkwardness

You look like a Fallout character I made peng as fuck on purpose

But I know from experience you're a nice guy below the surface

You've been a constant in all these different eras we've had to move through

The wiki's like a doughnut, you'd have to be crazy to remove u

With countless blogs and battles you've been killing it nonstop

So in this battle, like the bedroom, Joe's on top

Josef:

That got pretty soppy for a hot sec, so lets get back to the hot sex

Bend over and spread my cheeks for this twinky little hot mess

You're the best mod this website's had, though that roost ain't too high

Shame you weren't around at the peak, the wiki missed a swell guy

Looking back at my time here, my behaviour makes me feel bad

So after those nice things you said, I'd like to quadruple heal Pads

I think my chance of winning this is as limp as your wrist is

Got me swiping right on this bromance, so shoot us your digits

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