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Not sure how many people will read this with the more obscure characters, but I made this a while ago and found this site to dump it on

Haruhi Suzumiya VS Madoka Kaname:[1]

7194 the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya
800px-Mahou-shoujo-madoka-magica-10-large-06


HS:

  • I'm normally interesting the magical and the bizarre,
  • but this mahou shoujo [2] is boring me so far!
  • I know your feeling down seeing as your friends have died
  • but you didn't try to help them, you just stood their and cried. [3]
  • You... With divine powers?! That seems slightly odd.
  • You let Kyubey [4] live... your too soft to be a god!
  • When this is finished, your ass will be owned!
  • Bitch, I'm gonna prove your are more useless than Kyon!

MK:

  • As for why you don't deserve to be a god, I could go on for hours!
  • For starters you do nothing but subconciously [5] abuse your powers!
  • You threaten the universe unless they keep you entertained! [6]
  • While I'm ridding the world of suffering and pain!
  • Your an egotistical bitch, who holds the world hostage!
  • I'm gonna strike you down like just another witch![7]
  • They'll find you three days later in a roadside drainage ditch!
  • You'll wish you never wrote those cheat codes on that high school soccer pitch! [8]

HS:


  • Your gonna learn not to mess with Haruhi
  • I guarantee my victory.
  • Even my own disappearance couldn't stop me! [9]
  • I'm the goddess of anime, you can't take my place!
  • I'll beat you down and seal you in a closed space!
  • Girl, my rhymes gonna blow right through you!
  • I'll send you back to the corner, make you cry like Mikuru!


MK:

  • Yeah, about Mikuru, she's just there for you to molest
  • I'll be calling up the cops, bitch, charges gonna be pressed!
  • I got Homura by my side, ready to unleash the hate!
  • Time loop your ass just like Endless Fucking Eight![10]
  • My show won awards for excellence in animation
  • A genre defining experience for a new generation

[11]

  • Your moment of fame came and went, I'm afraid
  • So get your ass back into the last decade!
Who won?
 
16
 
33
 

The poll was created at 08:24 on January 23, 2014, and so far 49 people voted.


Meanings

  1. Theme: Female anime characters who attain godlike powers.
  2. Japanese: magical girl- a feminine almost superhero-like anime stock character- think Sailor Moon, which Puella Magi Madoka Magica brutally deconstructs (as seen in the line below) into a sort of dark fantasy series.
  3. Madoka herself is a a sort of neutral observer for much of the story, and is frequently reduced to tears, admitted justifiably.
  4. An antagonist (arguably) in Madoka Magica, and a character hated by fans. Looks like a furry cat-like creature, actually evil (at least by human standards, really more of a Lovecraftian Horror). Saying any more is spoilers
  5. Haruhi is not aware of her godlike powers in canon.
  6. Really the basic premise of the Haruhi Suzumiya series.
  7. Monsters in Puella Magi Madoka Magica are referred to as witches.
  8. It is suggested Haruhi may have gained her powers after she wrote a bunch of mysterious symbols in an athletic field using the line-painter- Literally "cheat codes" to the universe
  9. Reference to the anime movie "The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya
  10. Refers to Akemi Homura, a character (possibly the real protagonist) of Madoka Magica, a girl with the power of time manipuation, but weak offensive powers, so she literally pauses time and steals military hardware such as rocket launchers. Endless Eight refers to a fan nickname of the first eight episodes of the second season, which consists of a time loop, essentially repeating the same episode eight times.
  11. Madoka Magica earned awards in animation in Japan, including recognition as a "cultural asset".
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