Parappa the Rapper vs The Boyfriend.png

Yeah, I'm aware that it's way past January. I'm aware that it's late April. I'm aware that neither of these are anime characters. I haven't given up on that Weeb Shit vs Anything revival or anything, but it has been hard to write. Mostly due to busy work schedules and general lazyness, and also because when you write for characters that have so much history and lore to go through for material, it can be a little overwhelming to consider what's worth putting in a rap battle. So, why not something a bit more simple to get back into the swing of things, yeah?

I would have liked to have done this when all the Weeks of Friday Night Funkin' are complete, but since they're gonna be adding twenty weeks to that shit, I reckon this would've taken way longer to get out. So let's get to it while the trend is young!

Parappa the Rapper, the rhythm game superstar of the Playstation 1! And The Boyfriend, the rhythm game superstar of Newgrounds.com! These two battle it out to see which rapper who performs to win over their girlfriend is truly superior!

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RAP BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!

PARAPPA THE RAPPER!

VS

BOYFRIEND!

BEGIN!!!!!


Parappa:

Kick! Punch! It’s all in the mind!

Like the chance of Miku here knocking me off the spotlight!

Your whole game’s the poster boy of some long forgotten site

Known for pornography, blood and gore, and all kinds of racist trite!

Like the river and the snow, I got the funky flow,

While you sound like a calculator having a stroke!

You’re lustin over a freak! With a crazy demon daddy!

You’d be better off spending those Friday Nights at Freddy’s!

Yeah, I’m old school! My fame never turned rotten

Give it two weeks before your little trend is forgotten!

Rapper’s in the name, so what could you say to me?

Oh wait, I think I know already; “BEEP, BOOP, BEEP”!


*The Boyfriend stands in silence. After a second or two, he clears his throat, and speaks...*


The Boyfriend:

I don’t normally talk, but seems you’re looking for a fight,

So allow me to get freaky on this Friday night! (Yeah!)


What’s the matter there, Goofy? Lost Donald and Mickey?

I’ll school your ass so hard, call me Instructor Mooselini!

You finally wrote your own verse and it was still crappy!

I think I’d have a better time rapping against Um Jammer Lammy!

I bring attention to forgotten icons like Pico!

The best exposure that you got is a knock-off Smash Bros!

I outrap the best of them, every song is a hit!

You’re raps are like stage five; just taking a shit! (Hey!)

I got a girl so hot, with her mini dress and thighs

While Joe Chin’s already got your Sunny fertilized!

Kickstarting to new heights, ya boy is here to stay!

I’ll be around longer than your failed anime!


Parappa:

Yeah, that Kickstarter’s doing great, it seems!

Too bad your modders were doing half of that shit for free!

You Cheap Cheap bastard, you’re below my league!

I’ll wreck your balls blue, cause I gotta believe!


The Boyfriend:

You rappin awful, the exact opposite of funkin!

Can’t say I’m surprised, you did learn from an onion!

It’s sad that even Senpai is a less of a simp

This pup’s a broken record; think it’s time you got fixed!


WHO WON?!

WHO’S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

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Rappers in need for hire;

Sally Acorn

Chika Fujiwara

Monokuma

Rorschach

Miles Morales

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