So, what season two is complete without a rematch from the first season? Today, I bring the famous rapper, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, back against the macabre writer, Edgar Allan Poe.
Cast[]
Nice Peter as Eminem
Epic Lloyd as Slim Shady
George Watsky as Edgar Allan Poe
Battle[]
Eeeeepic rap battles ooooof Miiitstory!
Eeeeedgar! Allan! Poooooe!
Versus!
EMINEEEEEEEM!
Begin!
Ah, yes, the incompetent rapper comes at me again,
With his constant conquest to prove himself shall end.
So you are releasing a new album? Shady XV brings what brand new anthem?
Haha, grant you no platinum. You already said in Guts Over Fear that you can't fathom
A new way to say the same old song, when are you going to retire?
You're becoming pathetic, putting Rihanna and Sia on the choir.
Getting overshadowed by Kendrick Lamar - adios, chocolate,
With no black in it, get back to Cleanin Out Your Closet.
And all songs nowadays make you just go Berzerk!
You're absurd! I'd rather listen to a song all about twerk!
Look, I already went easy on you, and not to hurt your feelings,
But now I have the Tell-Tale Heart bleeding to the ceiling.
So Far, you've dissed me for not being Black, Cat. Can it already!
You've Lost Yourself this battle faster than a can of spaghetti!
You chicken-shit, enlisted in the mil'tary as Edgar A. Perry,
Not a Soldier, wrote poems, terrifying? Nah, very not scary.
Let's Square Dance, you scurred Imp of the Perverse,
First verse proves to you that you are forever the worst!
I'm Back, Low Down, Dirty and I'm Shady! Congratulations, crybaby!
You left the Navy, left school with a grade E, and lost to Mr. Mercedes!
[*Poe's second verse is rapped fastly. Beat goes faster*]
Oh, no! And I thought I were to know about family woes!
Look at your past, yo! Your brother, mother, even Hailie knows!
The Proof is in the pudding! Your luck, you are pushin'!
Even in your own movie, you lost and everyone was rootin'!
You stuck-up druggie, bitin' a Vicodin while in Brighton, Slim,
Get struck by lightning, shit none of your songs are the least bit frightening!
[*At same pace, the beat switches up, more mixed.*]
(Chicka, chicka, chicka! Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?)
Yeah, take a seat, Eddy. Don't talk about Hailie, Whitney, or Alaina.
You're melancholic; I made a deal with the devil, yeah, Bad Met Evil!
Fuck, you talked about Proof? I'll push your shit in with D-12!
Remember Me?! I'm Forever fucking you up, do you regret what you said?!
I lost my Guilty Conscience! Brain Damage? Yeah! FUCK YOU, ED!
Who won?!
Who's next?!
Ep-*chicka chicka chicka* RAP BATTLES OF MITSTOREHHHH!