Let's do this, bitches. B)
'In the Season 2 premiere, protagonist of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy Summers; protagonist of Castlevania, Simon Belmont; and arch-rival of Dracula himself, Abraham Van Helsing; fight in a three-for-all to see which vampire slayer from a line of vampire slayers is the best.'
Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJNFh1Dfy4I (sped up by 1.25)
Battle[]
(Starts at 0:22)
EPIC RAP BATTLES: VIDEO GAMES VS HISTORY
VS
VS
BEGIN!
Abraham Van Helsing:[]
(0:39)
Been reigning since 1897, meet the OG vampire hunter!
Van Helsing's a hell bring-er. I grab the mic and spit it blunter,
Than Christian Grey on steroids, or Bella Swan's long-lost sibling.
I leave blisters if you cross me. I cross my heart and cross you missing!
I've been slaying vamps throughout the ages, from dusk 'till dawn.
Break Buffy worse than when she broke down when she killed Dawn!
I'm a doctor, I'll have you know, and though I must end my turn,
First, I shall prescribe you both some ointment for these burns.
Simon Belmont:[]
(1:07)
Ugh! I can feel the pulsing pain from Dracula's curse,
But it's not as unbearable as listening to your verse.
Keep your medicine, old man. A real hero doesn't need it.
I journey endlessly through castles and can handle a little bleedin',
But I've had papercuts cut deeper than what you say!
You're forgotten and worthless! People don't even know your first name!
A vampire killer with the Vampire Killer, leave you both for dead,
But Abe's in the shadow of his enemy, while Buffy's giving Giles head!
Buffy Summers:[]
(1:34)
Really? Now I have to deal with gramps and Hercules?
You stop Drac', I stop vampire apocalypses. Please!
Your words are as empty as a vamp's soul! You truly must be insane!
Try to cross paths with the slayer and I'll make your blood rain!
I'm the thing monsters have nightmares about. You know you can't harm me!
Dissing your dissonance, while I bring the harmony.
I grip the mic harder than a stake, going in worse than a vampire's thirst,
Then you'll be left saying, "What a horrible night to spit a verse!"
Abraham Van Helsing:[]
(2:01)
I got a legacy following me. Everyone knows the Van Helsing name, yah!
Crush Buffy and Simon alike, and cause a Castle Mania!
I'll disbar the Belmont clan! You're a disgrace, mein Gott.
And honestly, between you and me, I really prefered Buffybot.
You've entered my Ghost House, and you're doomed to meet your end.
I've seen better adaptions of Simon Belmont here in Capain N!
Stoke the flame of this Stoker creation and you're gonna get hurt.
You children best run along now, and let a real man get to work.
Simon Belmont:[]
(2:29)
Witness the Power of the Belmont clan, for I'm running this show!
This depressed little girl's here turned into a wilting willow.
Don't need a blade to fight, I crack back whack hunters with my whip.
Step to this video game icon, and you'll end up Indiana Jones' bitch!
I stand strong! No season nor president could hope to be the best!
I swear to take you both down, call that Simon's Quest!
Beat you before the break of light, you best know my legend's might!
And how could Buffy think she could win when she's already died twice?
Buffy Summers:[]
(2:56)
Oh, I died alright. I was bored to death by your verse.
When it comes to facing fellow hunters, even Faith was much worse.
I've seen scarier vampires in The Adventures of Shuggy.
Going through the same castle over and over, Simon? Man, that's nothing!
Van Helsing best back down, this isn't even his real job,
And Belmont can't compare when Drac' was once his grandpop!
Forgotten, replaced, and hopeless, you couldn't even put up a fight!
What do you think, Angel? Yeah, sounds about right.
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
EPIC RAP BATTLES-
(A stake is driven through the center of the logo)
VIDEO GAAAAaaames...versushistory...
Poll[]
Hint[]
Trivia[]
- This is the first battle since Usain Bolt vs Sonic the Hedgehog where a video game character is not the first listed in the title. Not important, but I thought it was interesting, ye.
