This battle is my piece de resistance, still in progress of writing. A hundred man battle royale. Currently 89 characters into it. I'll continually be updating it. Please comment ideas for people to put in the battle. Criteria: Male lead protagonist in a film, preferably good guys.
This is basically a royale for the best movie ever. I think that's justifiable.
Without further ado, ERAGON VS HARRY POTTER:
Harry Potter:[]
Don't you know who I am little dragon boy?
I am the boy who lived, eat you like a koi
The chosen one to defeat Lord Voldemort
A kid on a tiny dragon beat me? What a rort
Curse you both, blast you off of your blue pet
Before you go, don't say something you regret
When I Avada Kedavra for what you say Eragon
This elf will die, your as threatening as Porygon
My series has critical acclaim and success
Your movie stunk, and to that fact I can attest
Eragon:[]
I will smite you without Saphira's help Potter
Your uglier than Voldemort, the Urgals or otters
Curse me? I think I have more experience there
Only took three books to win a war and play fair
Slice through your tiny little wand with Brisingr
Not afraid to take on your school and hillsinger
Stomp your giant, better than the Narnia crew
And you need a broomstick, on Saphira I flew
Quidditch? What the heck is that you punk?
I will live for millenia, train dwarves with spunk
Part of so many species you can't even count
Fight a troll, did u see the first head I did mount
Bury you like my father, uncle and my teacher
If you touched Saphira then Firnen'd bleach ya
Punch you from Hogwarts over to Farthen Dur
End you like Shrike and Galbatorix and more
Scream out Brisingr when I shoot you down
Get into Hufflepuff with all your dumb nouns
Got languages like Tolkien, u got beat by Frodo
I know this isn't the case for us but still YOLO
Come, try to come at me like Cedric and foes
Just like a Shade fall beneath all my blows
Harry:[]
Guess I'll just pull out Sectum Sempra, so lame
Trap you in Azkaban, you can't touch my fame
Listen to Hagrid: I'm a wizard, outta Hogwarts
Your plan to cull me like Cedric I will go thwart
Yes I lost to Frodo and Luke, you lost 2 Murtagh
Squish you like the Hulk and bring a body bag
Accio my hood, beat you with my magic rock
Fawkes got my sword, blind you like Brock
Got the Deathly Hallows and Gryffindor Sword
Dobby just clicked in Dumbledore's Army horde
How many people have you failed? Seriously?
Not even Neville died, you should just go flee
Today your tea leaves read just a black wolf
Call Lupin on you and take this on the hoof
Today you enter the Chamber of Secrets inferior
Beheaded so many snakes and guys ur superior
And how many side-plots have you gone & did
Twins, Razac, Murtagh, Rory and the witch kid
Plus your love life, bro dwarf and Urgal stuff
That's just off the top of my head, I'm tough
Tougher than you could ever claim to be man
Victor like Bulgaria, do you even have one fan
Won the wizard cup, beat Bartie Crouch Junior
I am the Eldest, you're only just a blue loser
You can't just pick one species, and you admit
Avada Kedavra, I'm gone, I'm done with my bit
Eragon:[]
Like no one has tried to kill me with spells Harry
Fought off elves and Shades, I will not tarry
Do u know the level of enemies I leave no trace
Know I'll leave u with more than a scarred face
When Brisingr slices up and through your blade
Absorbs what makes it better but no fire made?
Plus your crew is a joke, it started with moRon
Video game excellence, yours are beat by Pong
Phoenix named after Guy Fawkes, reference Ja
Plain beat ya fair and square bring a Dementor
Reveal to you my Inheritence, got me a Glaedr
Don't forget Lord Valdr to beat schoolboy haters
Bury you deeper than my brother's huge nation
Potter, you should've avoided this confrontation
Percy Jackson:[]
As should you, get back on yer little dragon boy
Survived through a Sea of Monsters no evil ploy
My pen is mightier than both of your metals
Wither from my slices like a rose with its petals
Since its up to me alone to take down posers
Pull out Zeus's lightning bolt to shake dozers
Just like Jeff from the Wiggles, just go retire
Harry should Accio parents since that fire
But why would Eragon try to come and win
When its only one movie, four books he is in
Super skillful I have taken down real Titans
End you like Hercules and the Nemean Lion
Peter (Narnia):[]
The real lion in films is my main man Aslan
Better than you three punks and all of Japan
Stab you right in the back in the White Queen
My movies has more religion than you've seen
Come on Percy, you ripped off of Greek myth
Potter is potty, he's gone too heavy on absinthe
Wanna talk about swords, see what I wield
Fought for King and Country, best in our field
That's right, I fought it all for me and my sisters
Edmund is a disgrace like Eragon and mister
Jackson, took down a little dude and a big guy
Lived through 2 wars at once wanna know why
Eragon could live his whole life in our realm
And I'd just be on a UK HMS warship's helm
Luke Skywalker:[]
Dude really man, are you straight up kidding me
Got the best movies, a groundbreaking trilogy
All you guys are follow-ups, I'm like Clark Kent
Kill you like Sidious, your best effort is spent
Talk about swords? I have an HTG lightsaber
And when it comes to worlds I'm a lifesaver
Heck man, I saved the entire universe twice
Mark Hamill is more prolific than Vanilla Ice
Seeing the galaxy in the Falcon, can't beat me
Eragon's movie sucked more than one by DC
Percy thinks Earthly deities actually matter
Harry is done, my wallet is just getting fatter
Peter should run back to his little Civil War
I have a galactic invasion to thwart and more
R2deets on my side, he can back me up man
My appearance shows that the mess hit the fan
Frodo Baggins:[]
Think Tattooine is tough? Try going to Moria
Fighting off Nazguls with ghosts before ya
Still I chucked the ring in the active volcano
My uncle has a better trilogy to remain oh
While my parents are dead, Luke's is evil
Plus Anakin started off nerdier than Steve Urkel
Percy you're plot flaws come in by the megaton
How many books did it take to get the job done
Harry, please, Sauron is much more of a threat
Than you're defective nemesis, what regret
Peter, my war left me with countless enemies
Drop your shield, my Sting is like an anenome
And on to dragon boy, you're books dragged on
Won this battle, leave you out like Sarumon
Neo:[]
You kidding me shortstuff? Step into my Matrix
When it comes to trilogies I make it a hat trick
Eragon had one, Percy had two, Peter the same
Inspired sequels & ripoffs, can't touch my fame
Peter misses out on his third movie, I do not
Agent Smith starts a fight scene like Kakkarot
What's with you guys and swords? I spit lead
Got mists of fists too, so six losers end up dead
Percy, back off, you can't connect with Poseidon
No water to heal you from all that I'm reciting
Potter boy, just your scar will remain in the end
When I leave you deader than Mad-eye or Fred
Luke, I move 2 fast for your saber to come close
Screen wipe your face off, kill all your cameos
Leave you with C3PO more holes than Ryan
Frodo you never had a chance, and I ain't lying
Wolverine:[]
None of you ever really did, I'm the best there is
Just how much Revolution failed can't be fixed
Unlike X-men Origins, that's already been done
There is a reason I got these claws and here's 1
I beat fists and bullets, what do ya got now bub
Berserker Rage through the whole area, scrub
Be surprised if you can move around legless
Frodo, better off than Bilbo, hotter than Legolas
Sting me with your dagger, listen for the SNIKT
That's when you realise you've been tricked
Most OP healing from Lobo to Incredible Hulk
Slash straight through you, leave bodies in bulk
Come at me bub, I'm best there is at rapping
Feral like my name, don't care who I'm hacking
Mind shuts off and I go to total anti-stealth
Stick out more than Neo's attire and wealth
Slash bullets straight outta the air, like a king
This battle royale means I knock 7 out the ring
Just like the one that turned Frodo evil & bad
That Luke thought he'd win makes me so sad
Kick Eragon of his high horse with this defeat
Let Peter sink in his unseen, unencoutered seas
Jack Sparrow:[]
Aye mate, good that you would try to drown im
Cutlass firm in my hand, swag up to the brim
But I put little Hugh Jackson down in the brig
Pull out a bottle of rum and take a deep swig
Let us see how you heal if you got scurvy mate
Private man of fortune, you ingrate half-rate
Full of wit, clever enough to understand Neo
Are you an anagram of one or acronym Natgeo
Your movies were crashed by a man in white
Seems like Blackbeard would have more might
Peter, I'll outfence you like Zorro, see my plan
I make up my verse as I go along like Batman
But wait, that's spoilers I shall not reveal
Saved like a mermaid for doubloons is the deal
You will all remember this as the day that
You almost defeated Captain Sparrow, Jack
But instead I unleashed a cannonball torrent
One shot like Rango, bigger than Broly's mullet
Ben 10:[]
In the right position in this rap battle royale
Despite Man of Action's mess, fans are loyal
Got Fourarms to hold off any cannonballs
But I'll Fasttrack to my point, the pitfalls
Of being as lame as that big chump Aang
Heatblast up a Swampfire, break what u brang
Pesky Dust a Kickin Hawk to make a Snareoh
Out of these guys trying to be the next pharoah
Percy, you don't really Greymatter at all so
When I do the hard work don't claim the credit o
Why should I bother driving it into your head
Since its obvious Mr Ditto here is braindead
And that's on top of being a dyslexic Echo
Of a mighty race passed away like numero Uno
Yall don't get it, its about permanent sacrifice
But would you like a chance, roll the dice
The Timepiece still clocks down to nothing
But you must be Chromastoned to try and win
I had a Brainstorm, Luke is just bluffing this
Listened to his one and every ineffectual diss
Call up the Maxforce and leave you Pierced
Hole in a chest like was tried by Daddy dearest
Faster, stronger, beat up aliens and superheroes
So that takes out Wolverine, makes survivors 0
Got an Eyeguy on each one of you for all time
Beat you all up in the Street not for one dime
Ryu:[]
Shoryuken try to take me on, I fight in the street
In battles I beat foes till their beat to the beat
Kid can't even count, he's got over ten forms
I got such elaborate gameplay you're wartorn
Charging up my Hadouken, like for M Bison
Bite off your ear Jack, like I'm really Mike Tyson
Moves more complicated to say then perform
Got real guile and games, just ask Laser corn
Is this a joke? I'm fighting like five little kids
Bust through you Ten just like Aggregor did
Percy, you better head back to your stream
Or I'll haunt you like I do Vega's worst dreams
Harry, step off, I'll leave u with more than scars
Smash you like a Bludger and win this by far
Hadouken Peter like Son Goku's the name
Just like Narnia, you will never be the same
Frodo, grow some, before we all step on you
Leave Luke like C3PO, this los he can't compute
Neo, I'll put you down, you and your dodging
Kick your face thrice and collect the cha-ching
And clawy boy, I'll blast them off like a mask
Hit you so hard you actually remember ur past
Because, who can't beat a man with knives
Beat through your healing factor and cat lives
Like a boss without measure, blazed through
Ten boys too bad at fighting to be called noobs
Sam Witwicky:[]
Luckily though, you fit the title perfectly Ryu
And I have the calibre backup to defeat you
Buzz around like I'm a real life Bumblebee
Biggest troll cinema and TV ever did see
Jack, I'm one enemy you can't escape from
Won two beautiful girlfriends before prom
Because I blew up the school like Ben dreams
Ben ultimate team is falling apart at the seams
Three pyramids of awesomeness unlike Pete
Ruler of a massive kingdom without streets
Neo, prepare for more explosions than ever
So you can't dodge, cast a gaze like Trevor
Got enough explosions to win a small war
Thank Michael Bay, epic like never before
Luke, I've got a cube with your name on it
Ryu, with my ratchet I'll knock you to Onett
Frodo, you mountain climb, I blast through
Puny New Zealand nature, take my own dues
Like Optimus couldn't slice Saphira into pieces
And Eragon would shoot a Starscream lease us
Harry, leave your little wand on a lockdown bro
Got Grimlock and Drift to beat up Magneto
Got a Sideswipe in there at old man Logan yes
Because when it comes to rapping, I'm the best
True firepower, not scared of punks like Chucky
Do I think I will win? You could say I feel lucky
Dirty Harry:[]
So you're feeling lucky, punk, good for you Sam
Go ahead, make my day, it'll look good on cam
As to the title, you got as much a chance as Lee
Take out twelve wannabes, make ten and three
Eragon, lets test your magic shield against lead
Two guns with full clips means twelve dead
Not going off half-cocked, its up like it does
When it needs to leave rapped up punks in dust
Sam, you have no class, I exude pure swag
As to your anti-Semitic girl, don't want that hag
In all honesty, I pimp fine unarmed and alone
So how lucky are you Harry and your clones
At least Neo knows you fight with guns out
What was with all those swords, folly no doubt
Jack, run back to your Black Pearl and 7 Seas
Swing away a wannabe Spiderman plus me
You're inspired, that's what's with the one shot
Pete, bullets your end, no chance is what you got
When so many melee fighters combat a star
Take them all down, just wondering how far
James Bond:[]
You should wonder how long till u get gunned
Down by the spy supreme, seven times no. one
Take out children with my stone cold heart
Diamonds are forever, but your lives just aren't
I'm kicking your ass with license to kill ready
Goldeneye aim, from Russia with love Freddy
Because I got a bullet with a name to linger
And I'll make your Skyfall with 1 shot, Goldfinger
Hit Luke so hard he'll see Frodo in Middle Earth
After I beat up Harry to Jack, for what its worth
Neo, I'm the one with the Quantam of Solace
Cook up a Wolverine and serve it with hommus
Ryu, you fail, go back to fighting on the street
With a clip full of disses Bond can't be beat
Batman:[]
Since I'm a scientist, I'll be testing that theory
Waiting for you guys to finish up makes me weary
I am the Dark Knight, I am pain from above
Crush Derp-face in my hand like a dove
I beat you once Bond, and I’ll take Frodo
Destroy Peter and hope Harry does a YOLO
Unlike me when I got hit by Omega Beams
You punks plans are falling apart at the seams
Luke and Frodo, I’ll send your times running amok
Neo, Ryu, Ben take three letter words like a truck
Jack, Wolverine and Percy, knock you all of the blimp
And Peter’s broken, you can lock them up now Jim
Terminator:[]
You thought that was the end? You’re crazy Bruce
I see fifteen chumps who are about to lose
Loose so many bullets you’ll die in a few seconds
Only one or two will survive, so I reckon
Neo, you may dodge bullets but I’ll snap you in half
You’re bragging makes even a robot start to laugh
Just ask Agent Smith, you’ll be dead and buried
Eragon, your speed may be unmatched but I’m ready
Withstand your flame just like with Robocop
I’ll be back but back your elven ass will be not
Stronger than all of you, despite my robotic frailty
Against my onslaught, you all are paling
Blade:[]
Actually Arnold, they just saw me walking in
Harry, block all your spells with my blading
Take out a half-size hater with a unique sword
Take down Sam’s bots like I’m a Megazord
Bond, get bent with your bullets I slice in pieces
Everyone knows your name, so you can’t reach this
I cull vampires by the dozens with a couple knives
Man or beast, Batman won’t leave alive
Since he’ll be broken just like he was by Bane
I’ll leave an emo more messed up than Kurt Cobain
I’m a legendary slayer, no one can touch my level
Compared to me, Harry is worse than Neville
Edward Cullen:[]
Guess that makes two half-bloods for me to beat
Drain all your blood and leave you out on the street
Percy, get back to your camp, no way will you endure
I’ll rip you apart like James and leave you in the sewer
Steal Annabelle from your arms and leave a corpse
Because I’m coming at you with full force
Super speed, blink around with invincible chest
And still you all think you’re even near the best?
Suck dry Bruce’s accounts like I do his veins
But I best have him facing away, I don’t want stains
Shaggy:[]
It’s time to solve a mystery: How anyone likes you
You’re some half naked chump making me blue
The cheesiest story line anyone has heard of
Going and giving anything up for some love
I gave up love for my best friends on many occasions
I’m the hippest hipster, leave you as mental patients
Fought fake monsters turned real so face me
I may be scared but not even T-800 threatens see
Short out your system, you’ve been beaten many times
Still winning, against heroes or monsters with rhymes
Iron Man:[]
The name is Tony Stark and I’m richer than you all
Bigger heartthrob than Cullen so you’ll fall
Bruce thinks he’s a billionaire, pfft that broke kid?
Shaggy as you are, I would rather face up against Sid
Luke is supposed to be futuristic with his 2x4 tech?
Invented that when I was 12, haven’t unveiled it yet
Logan, Adamantium is a thing of the past, heard of Uru
Sam, I’m a better a robot, Eragon face my CTHULU
Made it last night, don’t even believe in magic
If you think you’d last then this is tragic
Because no one can beat the Stark on the Iron Throne
You ain’t worth my time, I’ll leave you all alone
Cat in the Hat:[]
Goodbye Stark, guess that means I’ll dominate
Shut down your little suit and take your date
Have you looked at the time? It’s time I win
Blade, shut up, your rhymes are just sin
I give kids nightmares because I’m a beast
T-800 was shut down because he’s the least
Already took down a man called Shakespeare
So I’ll take down Mr Jackson with a spear
Gonna pull a rabbit out of my hat? No sorry
I won this battle, so kids don’t worry
Yes I shot down magicians and vampires alike
And sent Witwicky back onto his little pink bike
Freddy Krueger:[]
You think you cause nightmares? Don’t you know me
Beat the best and the worst, inspirational defeat
Krueger is the literal lord of nightmares
Make Stark wet his metal underwear
No enemy can face down Freddy
Intimidate all who see me so are you really ready
This battle won’t end like when I fought Jason
You’ll all surrender when you see who you’re facing
Wolverine thinks he has claws, I’ll show him truth
Bruce Wayne will win? Show me some proof
Casey Jones:[]
I live with mutant turtles why would claws scare me
Freddy, you’re less frightening than Ron Jeremy
Take down purple dragons, a blue one is a change
Tech man with a Cthulu, man that’s strange
And Freddy, this will end worse than with Voorhees
I got a cooler hockey mask, can’t touch these
Some of you call yourself vigilantes but don’t rate
Pretty sure Shaggy is the coolest here, don’t hate
Who needs to sleep when you’ve got coffee bro
Trained ninjas in hockey, take you out in slow mo
Star-Lord:[]
(singing) I’m hooked on a feeling
You’re high if you’re believing
That you could be Star-Lord
You should be ignored
(rapping) But now to start rapping with a killer flow
Seen all your crap, take it blow by blow
Casey, you’re movie sucked like skipping stones
Short out Robots and Avengers like clones
I took down Ronan, that’s why I’m rolling
Leave Ryu groaning, beat Bat with bowling
The Cat being here just makes me embarrassed
This will be sadder than Sephiroth versus Aerith
Asterix:[]
It would be if people actually liked you
Rule all comics, it’s the indomitable Gaul to chew
Out a group of losers smaller than I take daily
Will I need Getafix’s potions to win maybe
But that’s only if a real contender comes in
Someone worthy of my calibre makes this begin
Hooked on a feeling? You’re hooked on drugs
Take these out faster than I take out Roman thugs
Bat and Casey may have experience fighting numbers
But let’s see if they, Harry or Peter can fight a thumper
While Stark is the future today I’m happy with the past
Good news is I saved the easiest for last
A robot beaten by a pipe bomb and some kids
Ben don’t rate the Omnitrix he’s sick
I’m older than you Logan, and less sadistic
Let’s see Sam take on this Gaelic mystic
Ben Richards:[]
I’ll take you on like I did the Running Man competition
Tried to save the innocent, that is my admission
I am a good man, save lives, even if I don’t succeed
Rebellious as you may be, Rome hit Gaul out of AD
This robot wannabe me has stolen my face
So I’ll rip it off him and put him in his place
Heroic man with an inspiring story that’s me
And I’ll rule this life for everyone to see
Take the hand I’m dealt and win regardless
While all you chumps are left cardless
Asterix, you’re about to get taken down again
And Quill you’re a worse hero than Ben 10
Rocky Balboa:[]
I’ll punch out this man before he has a chance to run
Have one verse and all opposition will be done
Took out stars like Mr T and Dolph Lundgren with a fist
If my trainer Mick wasn’t, no way will you be missed
Leave both Schwarzenegger’s dead and Stalloned
You all annoy me as much as my sons, take this alone
Ryu, I’ll knock your little kung fu punk straight out
Literal world champion, win a rap royale no doubt
Because I have muscles so thick I punch meat
Which none of you have so you’ve all been beat
Agent J:[]
Time for the black man in black to take this battle
Blast you down with the hornet, and all your prattle
Is inane and annoying, you can’t touch Agent J
Take out Star-Lord like other aliens every day
A pair of claws, of vamps, of half-bloods and punchers
When it comes to ammo to unleash I’ve got a bunch of
Shoot down Rocky, should have stuck to punching beef
Leave Percy in pieces broken on the gory street
Peter can’t take me on, don’t care about his boasts
One and all of you chumps are my chocolate milk toast
Riddick:[]
Now you’re facing Riddick, send you back to Marvel
Along with Stark, Logan and Star-lord with Mar Vell
Stronger than Superman, I’ll outlast everything
Look at my eyes, and then look at my bling
Made it out of dead chumps like Jack Sparrow
The dancing pirate’s chance of victory is narrow
You can’t face what I’ve done, not Rocky not T800
Those aliens would give Freddy nightmares done Fred
This is the chronicle of Riddick, you can’t beat Picard
When I have won I’ll show you how to die hard
McClane:[]
Okay Riddick, a real man will show you how to Die Hard
The name is McClane and I’ll go the ten yards
Riddick, you’re a chump, I’ll rip out your eyes
You’ll end up beaten and shot, don’t deny
Along with your whole race, so don’t you dare
Try to kill me off, equal competition is rare
Ben better be a running man if he wants to live
Wannabes are people I just don’t forgive
Take out Bond before he turns around to fire
Burn the house down on you losers with some fire
The One:[]
I am the one that will you take you all down
Outlasted most of my alternates and went to the pound
I’m a badass karate man, doing some moon jumps
So I’ll fly in the air and spray bullets on you chumps
Pretty sure that I’m faster than all of you, yes Neo
After I plant one hit he’ll be flying like Rio
Dodge all your attacks, but you can’t dodge mine
The second last of me, I’ll repay in kind
For all your lame disses you will sleep with the fishes
So stone-hard I don’t want you guys to miss this
Ryu thinks he can fight, and Balboa thinks he’s strong
Unleash my fist of fury and prove you both wrong
Shaggy back away, I promise this won’t be fun
Since you are all about to come face-face with the One
Vito Corleone:[]
I’ll make you an offer that you can’t refuse
Bow down to the Godfather or I’ll light this fuse
Of a rap bomb, set to diss you all to death
Leave you with no breath, make you bereft
Of life, this Bruce Lee wannabe will get shot
I am the winner in this battle, and J is not
Eragon better get Era gone when I step in
You say you’re the One, leave you dancing on a pin
Harry, wash yourself now you’re in my presence
None of you could face the threat that I present
Because your facing Corleone, so please kneel
Since half of you are hipsters, homie do you feel?
Robin Hood:[]
Do you feel that I’m about to loose wooden rain
Headshot J, leave him screaming about pain
Blade won’t make it far with an arrow in his chest
The One who will win? Man do you jest
Batman may have faced my ripoff Queen
But I’ll amaze everyone who’s ever (argh – dies)
Superman:[]
The name is Kal-El the king of super kind
Got Krypto on my back so you’ll find
That it’s kinda hard to even get near
To the pinnacle of hope making you fear
The name is Hopeman, with the S emblem
Floating in the clouds, leave you trembling
Hood was a hood, a common crook is no more
This is the Pisa straightening Supes, number four
I am a badass Kryptonian, hit you harder than
That Bizarro-ish chump called Nuclear Man
The Doctor:[]
You want to speak of heroes, I’ve stepped to the plate
Before is I, the last Gallifreyan, the Doctor the Great
Wouldn’t need Kryptonite to take down Clark Kent
The one and only Doctor, understand what I meant
Hood isn’t real, none of you actually are
Even with super speed Superman won’t go very far
Say you inspire hope? Please tell me you’re joking
Marty McFly:[]
Great Scott! You're still alive, you old fool
But like Jason Bourne, you're just a big tool
I ain't yellow, so I'll shoot you down straight
This time a real man has stepped up to the plate
I'm Marty and I'm so McFly like you can't deny
No I'm not from Madagascar, and I'm wondering why
Any of you think that you could pull a win off
I mean, Rocky here is just a John Rambo spinoff
King of all you see, that would be me loser
Gonna leave this battle and go Back to the Future
Green Lantern:[]
Looks like this battle will be easier than Scott
Say you'll win this battle, I know you will not
Bats here calls himself super, he doesn't have powers
How will Supes handle against some green meteor showers
I fly through space taking out every Star Lord
Listen to me Neo, and head out to the Fjord
Because I'm fast enough to take down anyone I want
And none of you could handle the ring that I flaunt
Undertaker[]
WWE Announcer:[]
From Death Valley Nevada, it's the one and only Undertaker Undertaker:
I came here for a real match, I just see some more fakers
Keep rolling on this beat like my name was Limp Bizkit
Asterix, listen to your verse and Getafix it
You think you fools are dark, you don't know the meaning
J is here as a joke, on that hypothesis I'm leaning
Stronger than half of you, with or without my urn
You guys had crappy verses, I'm doing better on my turn
Half of you fools think you're MacGyver
End you one at a time when I use my Tombstone Piledriver
John Cena:[]
Didn't you listen Undertaker, your time is up
Got beat by Brock Lesnar, while I'm still pumped
You can't see me, no not even Superman
And I know you'd be lying if you claimed you had a Batfan
Because I'm Cena and I've seen ya and your lies
Pretty sure Eragon is the Miz in disguise
But don't let him fool you, because I'm awesome
Feel free to taste, because this flow is raw son
I know I'm a rapping wrestler, but who cares
I'd run after Ben Richards, but he won't be there
After all he's the Running Man, he knows to go
So you all better back away from the MC with a killer flow
Spiderman:[]
Well I take killers down, this is no exception
Came out as an instant king, Luke was still in conception
Don't get shorty with me Frodo, I'll show you how to pun
Get lost Neo, the truth is I am the One
Batman's like a fat man, I already took him down
Supes is so slow, I'll bullet time while he frowns
Prepare to get knocked out with one punch Cena
Stop with your lying, everyone can see ya
Eddy boy thinks he's hot, I'll leave him hobblin'
And scarred worse than the second Green Goblin
Because I'm Spiderman, slumming in this battle
Got powers so hot make an Iron Head rattle
Web Jack's bullets straight out of the air
Someone tell thelegion he doesn't understand fair
Crocodile Dundee:[]
You're right mate, otherwise I wouldn't be here
Someone has to teach Hal the concept of fear
Spidey thinks he's bright, his bimbo GF was valedictorian
You better run away Marty, I'll destroy the DeLorean
Come on, calling that a Blade, I'll show you a knife
Have you all on your knees begging for your life
The name's Mick Dundee, and the Croc faired better
Have the real enemies not turned up yet, or
Are they just not gonna be here, was this the wrong fight
Still, I'll be ready to knock out your lights.
Forrest Gump:[]
Hello there mate, I have to say g'day
I own Bubbagump shrimping, so pay
You used my shrimp in your ad, I'll sue
But first I'll be rapper forty-two
I am the answer to why this battle hasn't heated up
Because my flow is ice cold, I'll be abrupt
I can rap faster than I run, but I don't need it
I'll leave Spiderman in a Peter Parkinson's fit (credit to Mat4yo for that line)
This is like a box of chocolates, I'll chew all of you out
My voice knocks you back like a Dragonborn shout
I'm Forrest Gump, just ask Lieutenant Dan
This is the end, I'll lock Harry up in Azkaban
Surely there are better entries than the Cat
I'm gonna win, and that's all I have to say about that
Leonidas:[]
Hah! You think you had a chance in this
THIS IS SPARTA, and I have a Spartan diss
I'll take you down, won't need one man
Smash you in the face with my shield, because I can
I have muscles, tear of T's face
Doctor and Kal-El, go back to outer space
Riddick thinks he can fight, that would be brief
Kill all of you faster than that chump Chief
Maxwell Smart:[]
Sorry about that Chief, should've finished this earlier
I'm here to take out a couple rap murderers
I got 99 problems, some of them still to come
But they'll all be small, and mostly dumb
Based on this Forrest and Double O seven
Looks like I'll send a Superman to heaven
Snuff out a Lantern's flame like I take out CHAOS
Beat a Star-Lord and a Time Lord, because I'm a boss
Real Smart, the best spy around town
In CONTROL of this battle to make you frown
Honestly, I wish we were in the Cone of Silence
So I don't have to hear Leonidas verbal violence
Agent 86 is taking this rap battle by storm
Got a call on my shoe-phone, so you guys I gotta ignore
Noku (DB Evolution):[]
What's a phone? I just talk through King Kai
I have over 9000 ways to make you die
My grandfather is dead, I'll fight Piccolo
Pretty sure you're all sick although
My movie didn't sell well, I'll beat a Man of Steel
I may not be able to fly, but at least I can feel
Edward's verse was lamer than the movie I ripped off
And Smart's appearance is more confusing than Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff:[]
Why am I a surprise? I've been in several movies (in background: Hasselhoff!)
I wouldn't Baywatch you Noku, your movie was a doodie (in background: ooh)
Swim around, with or without SpongeBob on my back
(in slow motion) Running in incredibly slow motion, no hacks (in background: it's true)
(normal speed again) Swimming to victory like against Richard Simmons
I know why Tony ran away, it was because Pepper beckons (in background: Whipped)
Leonidas bro, I look better shirtless ask the fans (in background: oh yeah)
To these four superflops, I'm about to show you a real man (in background: damn)
I'm Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD so deal with that
Like Seth McFarlane vs Matt Groening, leave you all groaning on the Matt
Because I got Seth on my back, Hulk Hogan too
I easily dominated this battle, nothing any of you could do
Rambo:[]
THIS MEANS WAR! You'll get shot straight down
Idiots with fists and blades, in lead rain you drown
I've fought in wars, a royale isn't much to do
So Blade, divine judgement coming after you
Take down a lookalike, I'm the best man here
Haven't I taken down a Terminator before? Fear
That's what I instill into everyone that I face
SInce there are still some more to come, you guys won't place
Jason Voorhees:[]
It's Friday, I would hope you guys expected me
I remember taking down Freddy when we were seen
And wait! Is that my old punching bag Logan
When it comes to rapping, I'll be the shogun
I'm immortal, stronger than any of you jokes
Any of you guys rumoured for succeeding is a hoax
Come at me Harry, but you won't be leaving
If any of you had fans they would be grieving
Number Four:[]
Hey Jason, you won't survive this pinball
It's in real life, telekinesis and all
Use my lumen to withstand Noku's attacks
I fight Mogadorians so just get back
Humans don't know war like Loriens
I'll kill a hundred million before it ends
Fight off Setrakus, Voldemort'd be Ash (Williams is coming up)
Kent's got super powers? That's trash
I'm so diverse in killing when I fight
Show you all what harkens at night... (starts glowing)
Indiana Jones:[]
Coming in, it's the archaeologist Indiana Jones
You better step back, both fools and my clones
Haven't I already fought off Bond once?
Now there's 98 more to make a dunce
I fought Nazis and Arabs, like this is a loss
This kid looks like mine but is weak and stutters lots
No need for guns when you got a whip
I hop at least one foe comes to who my hat I tip
So far it's forty-nine posers and witches
Hit you so hard, you'll all need stitches
Rick Blaine (Casablanca):[]
Welcome to Rick's cafe, I'm here to serve ya
King of unclaimed lands, Casablanca to Persia
Say you fought Nazis, I actually shot one
You fifty losers ain't worth a hill of beans hun
Not one of you got the ticket, trust me
Like a turkey you'll be trussed, see
I'm a true revolutionary hero with a plan
(Sam): What if they come back boss? Rick: I'll play them again, Sam
Sam Spade:[]
You say my name, I'll take you down
You're a corrupt murderer, get out of town
A man has to remember his partner
But now that's done I'll start your departure
I'm an actually good detective Bruce
world's greatest ain't a title to choose
Unless your me, that's how it goes
In rapping like detecting, evrybody knows
Cool Hand Luke:[]
What we got here is a failure to communicate
Y'all a bunch of losers full of hate
Best Luke and rapper, here and in the chain gang
Take out a myriad of losers like BAM BANG
You simply don't compare to a classic
Luke's got a cool hand, I'm a maverick
Now that's clear, absolutely no miscommunication
Acing this royale with a 52 man domination
Ferris Bueller:[]
Didn't I see your movie in school once?
Nevermind, I'll just outcool the dunce
Today is my day off, don't hate
Because, truth is, you don't rate
I'm the best bro ever, you losers the worst
I'm like a god in school, you got served
With divine wrath I take this battle here
I know how to win, the path is clear
Dan Plainview:[]
Your path is clear? Clear as mud
I entered this battle, so There Will be Blood
Rick Blaine? I prefer Rick O'shea
I'm a noble man, so I take today
My movie straight out dominates most of yours
I'll leave this "Spider"man on all fours
True Englishman, you spies are but duds
Come on now, I told you there'd be blood
Ender:[]
I truely know you, but noone could ever love you Dan
You're a less likely victor than Spiderman
More than skilled enough to take you all
I was tricked into genocide, but you will fall
Not one of you is on my galactic level
Harry Potter? I'd rather face Neville
Some people got it, you 55 don't
I'm referrinf to real skill, yes I boast
Take down species and pros, yup
Listen to me, and don't get up
Scorpion:[]
It's the Scorpion, you'll feel my sting
Not bumblebee, hellfire is what I bring
GET OVER HERE, not even the Running Man will get away
Just like Quan Chi, you fools will all pay
Plague you with bad acting, you Sub-Zero noobs
I recommend you get your faces out of that tube
Ender admitted he was feeling boasty
You want a FATALITY? Well, here's a Toasty!
Robocop:[]
Targeting system ready to take down you crims
I'm a cop from Detroit, the futuristic city of sin
Scorpion's claims, now I wouldn't buy that for a dollar
Dead or alive you're coming with me creep, but why bother
I already took the Terminator for fun
Today and forever, the Law has won
Judge Dredd:[]
I guess you must have foreseen me, as I AM THE LAW
Take noth successes and fails like Jack and number Four
High ex attacks so face this mega size BOOM
I won't use my stun shots, this is your doom
You won't like it when I let fly
Trickshots left and right, no lie
Your claims have been overruled by Dredd
I see six feet of foes to leave dead
Cole Sear:[]
I see dead people, and soon you will join
Leave Frodo deceased just like Gloin
Those things worse than you guys (gestures at ghosts)
I get hurt badly, but you fools cry
You're 59 wimps I won't help on
I'll ignore your haunts, rain or sun
Shaggy's gonna go Zoinks and fail
When I leave even Superman impaled
Andrew (Chronicle):[]
Why are you sixty even here, I'm the one with power
I can fly, shoot lighting and start meteor showers
So that kinda ends Bats, Superman and others
Jack Sparrow better not talk about landlubbers
Or I'll unleash my true power, stretch like a muscle
I'm like a one-man team, and I have decent hustle
YOu never could compete, especially the kids
I'll upload your eviscerations as a YT vid
Because I'm recording, with my badass flow
Haunting you all like my name is MARIO
Derek Zoolander:[]
Andrew, you had no funeral
I'm the best yagooglizer
Spell this out like numerals
Blow you all up like MacGyver
Rapper slash model, not the other way around
Rocky, is it really worth being a boxer
When you lay all your friends in the ground
About to teach you enemies Hard Knocks, er (hey)
What?
The Dude:[]
Well, that's just like, your opinion, man
From where I'm looking, I'll send Noku to Japan
You don't want to Taker this dude in a rap brawl
It'll be easy enough to leave you sprawled
Hasslehoff sohuld speed up, stop running
Your the kind of guys fools be shunning
Take the Doctor's advice and calm down
That's all you get from The Dude for now
Ghost Rider:[]
Time to Blaze into this battle, two movies
After I destroy your soul, I'll drink Ben's smoothies
Bats can't fight, call this
Robin:[]
MOTORCYCLE MONDAY
Ghost Rider:[]
Compared to my hellfire, Scorpion's like a sundae
And Richards, running has gone out of style
Got flaming chains to go the extra mile
Your all moulded up like that foe, this isn't fair
Take out most of you with my Penance Stare
Ray Stantz:[]
If there's some royale, in your neighbourhood
Who's gonna win? GHOSTBUSTERS, for good
Take you out quicker than a full torso apparition
Goop on you like ectoplasm, that's tradition
To fully ridicule those with ridiculous raps
A gull temporal possession, that's the haps
I'm picturesque, call this Renassaince
Spray you with happy goo and end this at once
I'll call up Egon, Winston and Venkman
Ruin all of you like Star Wars by a Gengan (I know it's Gungan, but rhymez)
Rorschach:[]
Ghostbusters worth something? Must inspect further
It's obvious, however, that this loser Cullen is perverted
Going after a woman decades younger than him
Regardless, time to wreck Blaze faster than his canon
Call up my friend Nite-Owl to hack this first robot
Twist up the second one manually, like my plot
I'm ont locked in here with you, your locked in here with me
I've learnt something since my youth, true moral decency
But I'll still nuke this room full of degenerates (said raits)
Under this radioactive dosage even the Doc won't regenerate
I'll walk out successful, having blown this sky-high
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN BY "THE END IS NIGH"
Joe Black:[]
Well, I guess now would be an opportune time for me to step in
I'm Joe Black, but most of you would know me as Death, I reckon
Reaping your souls, well, Supes, Logan and Blaze survived
But you can't beat me, no foe can be he dead or alive
You'll be swept up in my flow like it's the Styx
The way half of you rap, your jonesing for a fix
Regardless, it's time to do what I'm here for
Taking you all out faster than the Dinosaurs
Allan Grant:[]
Well. That had a totally lasting effect
I'm a real paleontologist, commanding respect
Surviving two dinasour infested islands
67 ain't 99 fools, but who needs timing
Tha man with no plan, here to improvise
I may not be the biggest, but at least I ain't disguised
Hold on to my hat better than Indiana or Jack
This battle's getting primitive, I brought Jurassic back
The Shadow:[]
I did exactly the opposite to that guy descended from Genghis Khan
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows, its on
I can see all the evil in the souls of these bragging deuced dunces
Adrian Monk over Maxwell Smart, at least that is what Monk says
Time to use tactics so advanced you can't even touch me Neo
Serving so many losers and fails that I'm like a diss rap depot
You don't want to face me, I'm basically Vito's god and Supes boss
Batman was a ripoff of me, time to serve not Goku another loss
Leave bullets in more guys than Rambo and Terminator combined
Blaze and Scorpion's failures glows so much its turns us all blind
Rorschach nukes nothing but maturity rating, I won't Meet Joe Black
Excelling in this particular case so much you could call it LIFE HACKS!!!
Jake Sully (in wheelchair):[]
The Shadow? I overcome all shadows that I see
Don't need my avatar to claim my victory
You can't beat me, even though I'm crippled
Today your future's passed, Wolvie knows about ripples
The name sticks when it comes to marines
A true professional is on the scene
More a part of the Na'vi than Link or Zelda
Time to end a Man Of Steel, call me a welder
Leatherface:[]
Well, I certainly am not a welder, HYARGH! (lunges with chainsaw)
More of a reaver, leaving people in parts
Bigger cannibal than Lecter, face the facts
You won't feel the pain after the hack
An avatar? That's just a bigger meal
Let's call this Cinema Chainsaw Massacre, for real
None of you will live to see tomorrow
As the truth is, your life is borrowed
Dracula:[]
Fresh meat! You'll do quite nicely
I find cannibal to be a little spicy
I am Dracula, call me what you wish
Truth is, only Blaze and Cullen are not a dish
Shaggy is so pale, it's like he's seen a spectre
(Rumbling in bushes)
WAIT! WHO'S THERE? -
Hannibal Lecter:[]
- Hannibal Lecter
I guess this is the cacophony of the lambs
Led to the slaughter verbal, both steak and spam
Pass the fava beans, would you, Leatherface?
Trying to overtake me, a mockery of fate
A few snacks here, nothing to tell Clarice
With all my past, you will be the least
I caught another killer, you may wonder why
I would tell you, but I hanker for a tongue and kidney pie
Sweeney Todd:[]
Well, I can help there love, fancy a shave?
I may have incinerated my wife, but I'm no knave
Unlke Hood here, Ms Lovett - Robin pie to be made
Scorpion too, a self-cooked meal for the shade
So many choices, my barbery on the house
But that flaming ghost should be doused
Look at the time, I'll take a break
But I need a snack-
"Snake" Plissken:[]
- How about some Snake?
I've had enough with these cannibals, so I stepped in
That's right, you poor losers are facing Plissken
And trust me, these clips ain't full of blanks
I'll obliterate Casey Jones, call me Krang
A real militant Snake, unlike Solid, fools
Call me a teacher, I'll leave you all schooled
You won't Escape from my rhymes, I'm too good
F this battle, I'm going to Hollywood
Austin Powers:[]
Leaving a royale? I also like to live dangerously
I'm a brilliant and groovy man, win this thusly
Mini-me could easily take down this gaggle
I'm a lord of the sixties, you fools are cattle
A shagadellic spy, Luke, I'm probably your Facjher (idk how to spell it)
Got a Goldmember, ifyouknowwhatimean, I'm harder
Leave seventy-five enemies fully wartorn
I may be a Bond ripoff, but at least I'm not Jason Bourne
Jason Bourne:[]
You really think that? Here's a Bourne Ultimatum
Proving my film the best, as to Bond's, I hate them
You won't win, from Skyfall to classic Casino Royale
And there are dozens of other targets to spoil (said "spoy-al")
Beat any of you hand to hand, powered or not
And Austin Powers? At least I don't live off pot
If only Wolverine was more of a Silent Beast
I proved my Bourne Supremacy to say the least
And I want to mention the Ultimatum's essential clause
Animals fails don't dare attack me from SNake to Ripjaws (you got your Ripjaws Alan)
Quint (Jaws):[]
Did someone say Jaws? I'm here as THE rep
While you landlubbers are irrevocably inept
Quint slices in, like Villager in Smash bros
In deeper than Leonidas in Xerxe's flow (in background: "iykwim")
Dun-dun. It's coming, and I'll proceed
To turn you all into giant shark feed
Scorpion, your non-victory is far from flawless
Take foes out with a blade like Wallace
William Wallace (Braveheart):[]
You can take my surprise entrance, but you can not
take my freedom to make these cineflops stop
Fighting for Scotland, every Scotsman for freedom
This Hood a green dyed hunter of the Apple of Eden
Eviscerate, Emasculate, decapitate all these yanks
You'll be drawn and quartered, call me Longshanks
Conquer this battle just like I did York
At least Riddick isn't played by the one with the mohawk
John "Hannibal" Smith:[]
Don't diss B.A., you were executed you mongrel fail
Your just pissed because you can't get any tail
Come on, I'm the brains of the A-Team
I'll defeat Superman, you can call me Dream
Conquer this easily, without my crew
When the second Hannibal arrived, you were screwed
It's obvious Joe Black is no average Joe
Agent J? At least it isn't the G.I. ho
Snake-Eyes:[]
Time for a warrior to cast a Storm Shadow over this meathead
Take on the GI Joe team, then both Hannibals will be beaten
Swipe fast, covertly tracking you, call me a Stalker, harlots
Call Timber! as I slice these blockheads, bleeding Scarlett
A Real American Hero, unlike these half-rates from comic films
Poisonous like a Cobra, a Hard Master, easily racking up kills
I move with the wind, and you are never heard... again.
Unlike McFly, when I go Commando, I'm still wearing underpants
Axel Foley:[]
You've been disturbing the peace, time to come down on crime
Going to shoot down wack gang leaders hopes with dope rhyme
Because if you wanna start some static, guns through Corleone
Put a banana in all your tailpipes, cuz you spitting baloney
I'm a supercop, and you'll be copping Lucky Strikes all over
Black man raps like machine gun fire, a lyrical bulldozer
I'll put you in a Wonder World of hurt, call it jaywalking
Harry and Dredd thought themselves officers, you're joking.
Inspector Clouseau:[]
Oui! All three of you are truly incompetent and unprofessional
My rapping is diamonds, my post-verse time for your confessional
Needless, am I, of the company of other low grade detectives
A man all for my own, in my rapping the truth, it is reflected
Snake-Eyes, cold as a snowStorm, Shadowed as the Cloud of Turin
Yet like helicopters, the blades of my raps are your undoing!
Like a Green Beret raid, my shots go straight through your wicket
This is a No Standing zone, you're going nowhere, here's a ticket
Napoleon Dynamite:[]
Gosh! You remind me strongly of a Dude I already wrecked!
Take diamonds from under your nose, and vote for Pedro next
And all four of you policeman will be known as Canned Heat
My illegal government ninja skills'll kick you to the street
Spitting harder than Antina, like I'm firing a twelve gauge
Like dancing, disses so wet, it'll put out Nicholas Cage
Enlarged flow hybrid like a liger, draw you out of the picture
Sure to screw Batman over much worse than a tongue twister!
Phil Connors:[]
Time for real comedy to comeback, enough of this indie nonsense
Dug a deep hole for yourselves, like the dirt weasel's sponsors
Play you off finely, call me a class act, Sam won't play it again
Though I suppose he will when I start this battle over, I guess
Lived on after burning, so your rhymes wouldn't do much to me
Be a miracle for any other than comeback king to get victory
But I'll be gunning Bond down faster than any embossed repeater
Because my lyrics have an aurum aura, you could call me a cheater
Charles Foster Kane:[]
You ought elect to conduct yourself with a modicum of common sense
Because this old news anchorman's rebirth has run dry and justice shall be dispensed
You feel what Welles up inside you? It's sheer joy and admiration
As I Chuck out the competition like I assumed my magnate station
I'm a grand man, magnanimous personality for a diss dispatcher
Looking at Bond I can tell I could have gotten worse from a Thatcher
Read it in my papers, I'm a marvel like no-one has known, thus
You should've noted that thorns grow before the Rosebud!
Oskar Schindler:[]
You've wasted your raps like you squandered your petty life!
I should ditch you like your parents! Ooh, did I strike a gold mine?
Emboldened by my heroism, saving cripples and Ashkenazis
But a miserable wreck like you I'd happily Anne Frank to the Nazis!
I had children go in the small spaces to perfect the triangulation
Of the bullet I'll fire from this Luger into your smug, worthless faces!
Then put my schwanz in Bella's Swan, she says I've got the better ding
Beat Nazis AND terrorism! I'll cross that off Schindler's list!
Zorro (Antonio Banderas):[]
Gaze at the Mask and you can't keep calm and Carrey on
For when I turn on the charm this gentleman is uncontestable
I freed the slaves before Lincoln ever had the balls
And with a slash I'll leave you like three fingers for a close call
Don't duke with a duelist, I'm known to slash and hack
And then spend the evening with your daughters in the sack!
You may call me a scoundrel but the top Don got the gold flowing
I stormed on this battle, for I am the son of Odin!
Ash Williams:[]
Beat the Necro noms, I conned those Medieval pricks
So your time's up, assholes, this here's my boomstick!
Say that was off-hand? Hardly my first time
Beat you with science on top of the rhymes!
Masked man, I'm bored by your slow, stilted style
I've seen more life from a gang of Deadites!
I already killed Spiderman so brings some spin, darl
Else I'll decapitate you like I did to Linda!
Outro:[]
Coming up: Jules Winfield, Lawrence (of Arabia), Atticus Finch, Dominic Toretto, Georg Von Trapp, Jack Dawson, Chris Taylor, Andy Dufresne, The Man With No Name and Jesus Christ.