Yep, it's time. Merry Christmas by the way. Here's my gift to you guys.
Epic rap Battles Of History! Eminem! VS! Parappa the Rapper! Begin!
Eminem: Hi. My name is Eminem.
Cuz my rap skills are sweet. You can never top them.
I’m a masterful rapper, super slim and shady.
Call PETA! I’m killin’ this canine baby!
I’m gonna kick your ass 8 miles from my face!
I’ve played your little games, and they’re such a disgrace!
I’ve forever felt like I'm a Rap God, Back off.
You’ll forever stay stuck in my shadow stupid dawg!
You don’t even wanna know what the fuck I’ve been through!
I love the way you lie, and I’m not afraid of what you do.
You cannot compare to The Marshall Mathers LP!
Cuz i’m so good a rapper, I don't need an MC!
Parappa: Did you just make that us as you went along?
Cause if you did, let me tell you, you did it all wrong!
It’s a victory that i’m gonna receive!
How am i gonna get it? I gotta believe!
You won't have a recovery because U RAPPIN' AWFUL!
Call me cheap cheap, because I'll crack open your skull.
I’m speeding things up. Time to step on the gas.
Now it’s time for Parappa to kick your ass!
(The beat speeds up.)
You’re the reason for kids being messed up in the mind!
Go back to jail, and pay for all of your crimes.
You don’t need to be cocky, ‘cause it’s gonna get rocky
When I bring the heat, you’ll be crying to your mommy.
Your fame is big, but your weenie is small.
Better be scared when i grow tall!
I’ll kick, punch, chop, cause it’s all in the mind.
If you want to test me, then get ready to fight!
Eminem: (Super fast) Sama lamaa duma lamaa you assuming I'm a human.
What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman.
Gonna be rapping so fast you just happen to hop to it.
Think that you can try and step to this rapping? DO IT!
I don’t give a damn about what you think, stupid puppy.
I’m gonna rock your world, as if my name was Jammer Lammy
Why is it that it’s a piece of paper that i gotta diss?
You’re only half as manly as me when you gotta take a piss!
Parappa:...........All right, fuck it! Guys, bring the beat up!
Sunny, Katy and PJ: YEAH!
(The beat becomes more rock-like.)
Parappa: You have problems with your head, and monsters in your bed.
I’ll Chop Chop you in half, and you’ll be more than dead!
With Dr. Dre and Lil’ Wayne, you can’t beat my crew!
I got a TOWN named after me! Unlike you.
You’re washed out, you clocked out and now you’re all crabby.
They call me “Pa” rappa cuz i’m your daddy.
I’m winning this battle, bitch! Don’t you forgetti.
Now run home and get some of that mom’s spaghetti.
WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!