(Greek gods were immortal; therefore, Zeus would forever sit on the throne as king of the gods. Zeus asks Thor how he dares to challenge an immortal god like him. It's also a potshot at the Norse gods, who could die and had to eat magic apples to stave off old age.)
I'm the father of the Gods! Put your daddy on the phone!
(In Greek mythology, Zeus is titled "Father of Gods and men". On the other hand, Thor is not the "father" or ruler of the gods in Norse mythology; that would be Thor's father, Odin. "Put your daddy on the phone" is a phrase indicating the person on the phone is so immature as to be powerless in any decision-making capacity. This would normally be spoken to a very young child, not a man of Thor's age. Zeus is asking Thor to bring his father, the actual ruler of the Norse gods, to him, as he thinks Thor won't make for much of a challenge.)
Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce 'cause when Zeus lets loose,
(Continuing from the line above, Zeus says that when Odin meets him, he will immediately beg for a truce to stop the fighting. This means that not even the ruler of the Norse gods is willing to face Zeus, thus making Thor inferior to him. Zeus also says that when he "lets loose", or remove all restraints on himself to go all out on Thor, he will do what he says in the next line to Thor.)
I'll put your cross-dressing neck in a noose!
(In Norse Mythology, the giant Þrymr steals Thor's hammer and demands Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility as ransom. To get it back and restore his power, Thor "cross-dresses" as Freyja to trick the giant into giving it back. Zeus also says he would tie a noose around Thor's neck, implying he would choke Thor to death.)
I'm like Medusa: I stone a mother fucker if he looks at me wrong!
(Medusa was the most well known of the three Gorgons, a snake-haired Greek mythological monster who turned whoever stares into her gaze to stone. Zeus says he'll do the same to anyone who looks at him in a fashion that doesn't please him, and Thor supposedly does so.)
I'm a bull getting bitches with my swan schlong!
(Depicted in Ovides' Metamorphoses, one of Zeus' most famous romantic conquests was Europa, whom Zeus met after shapeshifting into a white bull. After gaining the trust of the girl, Zeus, still in a bull shape, forcefully dragged Europa into the sea and kept her as a secret lover. Another myth features Zeus seducing Leda disguised as a swan. Zeus is implying that he can get women in many animal forms including a bull and swan. This is also a play on the term "swan song," substituting "schlong" which is a slang variant of the Yiddish word for "penis." The swan song is a metaphorical phrase for a final gesture, effort, or performance given just before death or retirement. The phrase refers to an ancient belief that swans sing a beautiful song in the moment just before death, having been silent (or alternatively, not so musical) during most of their lifetime.)
I'm on point like Poseidon's trident!
("Being on point" means one is leading the offensive. Poseidon is the brother of Zeus and the god of the seas. He wields the trident, a spear with three points and Zeus says he's as on point as the points on Poseidon's trident.)
Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants!
(The Norse creation myth involves the gods of Asgard in battle with the the Frost Giants, a race of icy beings, with the giants' defeat said to have borne the universe of their remains. The Marvel Comics universe also has the hero Thor battling the Frost Giants. Zeus is calling his rhymes "cold", or hurtful, in comparison to the testicles of the Frost Giants, who likely had cold testicles.)
(Thor tells Zeus to allow him to retaliate. Zeus was known for his ability to turn into other forms and his many sexual affairs with women, often unwilling, as proven by the mentioning of Europa's abduction earlier in the rap.)
And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness
(During medieval times, the Vikings were known to not only be great warriors, but also great traders. Thor is implying his homelands—Scandinavia—and its people are quite remarkable in every way when compared to the Greeks.)
Brought forth by my raging thunderstorm force
(In Nordic mythology, Thor is the god of lightning, and it is said that he rode around bringing lightning down from the skies. During this time lightning was respected and feared as the most devastating and dangerous force. It is also implied Thor had a short fuse and could become easily enraged. Basically, he implies his raps will hit Zeus like a thunderstorm brought forth by the god of lightning.)
'Cause I don't get nice. I get Norse! (Noirse!)
(Thor uses a play on words with his own Mythology, implying that he isn't nice because he's a Norse God. Loki says the word "Noirse," which is an adaptation of the call of approval from the Key & Peele video "Nooice".)
Valhalla-atcha boy and we'll flyte it out,
(Valhalla is the concept of heaven in Norse mythology. "Holla at Your Boy" is a song by artist Wizkid. "Holla" is a term derived from the world "holler", which means "to yell or shout". Flyting is an ancient Norse form of verbal combat, akin to a modern-day rap battle, wherein two contestants would poetically exchange insults. Norse mythology describes Thor and other gods having flyting matches. Thor is telling Zeus that if Zeus yells at him, Thor will see it as a challenge to a battle and he'll be more than happy to oblige. Another interpretation is that Thor may be telling Zeus to call his boy, or son, Hercules for help defeating him, as Zeus has needed Hercules' help before to defeat tough enemies.)
But keep your Asgard up; I Ragnarök the house!
(The term "keep your guard up" warns someone to prepare for attack, but Thor substitutes "guard" for "Asgard", the Norse home of the gods, where Thor resides. The term "I rock the house" means to add enthusiasm to an event, and is also suggesting this is the event for which Zeus should "keep his guard up." In Norse mythology, Ragnarök is the apocalypse in which Asgard is destroyed, and in the Marvel Comics, it refers to a cyborg clone of Thor created by Tony Stark, as well as being the subtitle of the third Thor film.)
You tongue kiss your sister! That's grosser than a Gorgon!
(In Greek mythology, Zeus' sister, Hera, is the queen of the gods, alongside Zeus. The two are married and Hera gave birth to several gods with Zeus as the father. He's comparing the incest to a Gorgon, which in Greek mythology is a creature so ugly it turns people into stone.)
I'm the thunder down under, nailing Natalie Portman!
(In the Marvel comic books, the hero, Thor, has a romantic relationship with Jane Foster, who is portrayed by Natalie Portman, an actress deemed to be attractive by many, in the popular Marvel movies. Thor is saying while Zeus is with his sister, he is nailing, or having sex with, his love interest. "Nailing" is a hammer pun, referring to Mjölnir, the hammer Thor wields. Chris Hemsworth, the actor who plays Thor in the same movies, is Australian, referenced by the words "down under", which commonly refers to Australia, being below the equator.)
Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is?
(In Greek mythology, Zeus would often transform into animals, come to Earth and sexually abuse women. Thor thinks Zeus shouldn't be worshiped because of his actions.)
You're ruthless to humans! Your crew is like the clash of the douches
(Clash of the Titans is a famous movie where Zeus' son Perseus travels to the underworld to fight Medusa. Thor references the movie, but exchanges the word Titans with the pejorative term "douches." This is to reference the fact that Zeus, and the other Gods of Olympia, are always fighting. The Greek gods have been consistently depicted as having little empathy or kindness towards humans.)
Ruling over the Greeks: a people weak and frightened!
(Zeus is a Greek god, ruling over his people without mercy, which Thor suggests his brutal actions made his people weak and afraid of him.)
I'd spit in your face, but you'd probably like it!
(This has a double meaning. The first is Thor threatening Zeus by saying he's going to spit in his face, a sign of contempt, but then decides not to. He suggests that Zeus, with his unusual sexual appetites, would likely enjoy the act of being spit on. The other is referencing the Greek tradition of (mostly) dry spitting at people as a blessing and a ward against the evil eye.)
Only a mindless fool would knock the fathers of philosophy.
(Philosophy originated in Ancient Greece, which in turn brought forth some of the most famous philosophers in history. Zeus is calling Thor a mindless fool for challenging the Greeks, and therefore also indirectly challenging their "Father", Zeus.)
My Greeks built the bedrock of democracy!
(Bedrock is consolidated rock underlying the surface of a terrestrial planet, like the Earth, and as a result, it is the foundations of the planet. Zeus is saying that like bedrock is to a planet, the Greeks are the foundations of democracy, which is the system of government "powered by the people".)
With astronomy, they charted out the movements of my kin:
(The ancient Greeks were the pioneers of astronomy. This line references Apollo and Artemis, Apollo is the God of the sun (among other things) and Artemis goddess of the moon (among other things). They are said to embody these celestial bodies, meaning that the astronomers would have been marking out the paths of his children. This could also reference how in Roman mythology, many of the Twelve Olympians are the namesakes for planets, e.g. Mercury, Venus, etc.)
All the pimps of Mount Olympus and me the king pin!
(Mount Olympus is the home of the gods and Zeus is the king of the gods. "Pimp" is used to describe someone dominating over others in the way that a pimp controls his prostitutes. A kingpin is a critically important person that dominates a business or industry. This means that he's the leader of the leaders. Kingpin could also be a reference to a powerful leader in the Marvel Comics universe, in which Zeus calls himself a powerful leader.)
Let this sink in: I'm about to rain on your parade!
(The term "let that sink in" means to get used to an event or idea. Zeus could also possibly be referencing the Norse dependency on boats for travel with the word "sink". "Rain on your parade" means to turns somebody's good experience into a bad one, which Zeus is suggesting he's about to do to Thor. Since Zeus is the God of the weather, he has the power to "rain on his parade".)
Itchy trigger finger quicker with the bolts than Usain!
(To have an "itchy trigger finger" means that the person who has such is ready to shoot a gun at even the slightest of provocations, or for no reason whatsoever. In this case, the gun is Zeus' hand, and his lightning the ammunition. Usain Bolt is a Jamaican track-and-field athlete billed as "the fastest man on Earth" for his Olympic feats. Incidentally, both the ancient and modern Olympic Games began in Greece. Zeus is saying he shoots lightning bolts faster than Bolt runs.)
You're history! I'll be the first to put it in writing!
(The origins of true writing in language, not just numbers or pictograms, is said to have been Ancient Greece. Zeus is referencing this while saying that Thor is nearly dead, at which point he'll be history rather than current. Greek history was also the first to be recorded in writing.)
MC Hammer just got struck twice by greased lightning!
(MC Hammer is a 1990s rap singer who performed the popular song "U Can't Touch This" and is considered to be more of a flamboyant and pop-oriented rapper than some more hardcore artists. This could also be a reference to Marvel Comics, abbreviated as MC. Thor's massive hammer Mjölnir is a weapon and tool of power, and since Thor is in a rap battle, Zeus refers to him as MC Hammer. "Greased lightining" is often used to compare fast things; grease allows mechanical objects to move more easily, and lightning is fast as it is, being pure light; thus "greased lightning" would be even faster. It's also the name of a song and a car in the musical Grease. Zeus makes a pun with the words "grease" and "Greece" and how he rules with a giant lightning bolt. Because this is Zeus's second turn at the mic, he also says that Thor has been beaten twice by him. This references the popular idiom that says lightning will never strike the same place twice, meaning something unlucky doesn't happen to someone two times, so this could also mean that Thor is unlucky in getting Zeus as his opponent.)
Rain, old man? This is hardly a drizzle.
(Thor returns to Zeus' statement about "raining on his parade" and he is toning down the magnitude by saying the "rain" isn't hurting him, calling it a light drizzle. Thor is also calling Zeus old, since he is theoretically immortal, while in his movies Thor appears to be in his twenties. Also, in Thor's film, he calls his father, Odin, an old man.)
You couldn't give the women in my homeland the sniffles.
(Despite being the Greek god of thunderstorms, Thor is suggesting that Zeus couldn't make rain enough to make women in Scandinavia catch head colds, both degrading Zeus and saying he isn't as powerful as he says, as well as referencing the strength of Scandinavian people in general.)
You can keep your astronomers. I'll sail with the conquerors
(While the Greeks were known for their astronomy, the Vikings were known to conquer. For example, Leif Ericsson was a Nordic explorer who was the first European to land in North America, as said in the next line.)
For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents!
(Norse people traveled throughout the North Atlantic ocean, discovering Iceland, Greenland, and arriving in the North American continent 400 years before Christopher Columbus, theoretically discovering the continent for the Europeans.)
I'm Alpha dog dominant! You can't beat me!
(Thor is scoffing at Zeus's superiority on Mount Olympus, saying that Zeus can't match his ability. The "alpha dog" in a pack of dogs or wolves is the natural and usually most aggressive leader. Alpha (A, α) is also the first letter of the Greek alphabet.)
I will drop you like Greece's GDP!
(Greece is currently under an economic meltdown, in part due to the decline in the Euro currency since 2008. GDP stands for Gross Domestic Product and its estimates are used to calculate the growth of an economy from year to year. Thor is saying that he will beat Zeus similarly quickly to how the Greek economy collapsed.)
Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades!
(Hades is the Greek god of the Underworld and the Greek myth equivalent of the devil. This has led people to start referring to hell as "Hades"; however, it could simply mean that Hades himself is rather deep underground as he inhabits the underworld. Thor is saying he will kill Zeus and beat him so hard he will be deeper than the Underworld.)
Now, make like your daddy and swallow my babies!
(Zeus's father, the Titan Cronus, received a prophecy that his children would overthrow him like he did to his father. To prevent this prophecy from coming true, Cronus ate his children. Later, Zeus was born and ended up killing his father and freeing his siblings. Thor is telling Zeus to drink his semen, or his "babies", like how his father had eaten his offspring.)
You think the Underworld scares the ruler of the skies?
(Besides being the god of thunder, Zeus is also the god of the sky, and he's not frightened by Thor's threats to send him to the Underworld.)
You're joking! Loki must have written your lines!
(In Norse mythology, Loki, who was an antagonist or anti-hero in the Thor comic books and movies, is the trickster god. Zeus is regarding him as a jester, and suggesting that he wrote Thor's verses because they're laughable.)
By the time I've finished whipping you with wits and rhymes,
(Zeus is saying he's whipping, or killing, Thor with his raps. And he explains in the next line what'll happen when he's done doing that.)
You'll need a lighter for your ship 'cause a Viking just died!
(A ship burial was a tradition in Norse funerals and particularly common among Vikings. The deceased person was laid in a ship and the ship was set on fire. Continuing from his last line, after Zeus is done "killing" Thor with his raps, he'll make sure Thor is given a proper funeral in the form of a ship burial. Additionally, the second Thor movie featured a Norse funeral of Thor's mother, Frigga.)
Your glory days are over. The Oracle shoulda told'ya.
(The mythology of the Greeks is thousands of years old, so comparatively, Norse mythology is new. An oracle is a type of person that appears quite frequently in Greek mythology who tells the future and gives prophecies or provides guidance. Thor is saying that an oracle should have told Zeus that he would become irrelevant and also may be saying that he should have been told he'd lose to Thor.)
I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like "Opa!"
(There were many statues made of the Greek gods in which they are not wearing any clothes and their genitals are visible. A toga was standard clothing at the time of the Greeks and statues in which the subject wasn't nude would have the subject wearing a toga. Zeus was known to have many sexual encounters, resulting in many offspring, both gods and heroes. However, some of this offspring would also cause trouble for the Greek people, so Thor is telling Zeus to stop having these sexual encounters. "Opa" is a Greek exclamation of celebration or approval.)
Here, take these drachma for your eyes.
(Drachma were the currency used in Greece during several periods in Greece's history. When a person in Ancient Greece had died, relatives would often put drachma coins over the eyes of the deceased so he/she would be able to pay their passage to the underworld. This is also a reference to Iris, who in Greek mythology would send a message for a drachma and that Iris is also a name for a part of the eye.)
When you get to River Styx, tell your three-headed bitch I say hi. (Woof!)
(The Styx is a river in Greek mythology which formed the passage from earth to the underworld. Ancient Greeks believed that the drachma coins placed on a deceased person's eyes would pay the ferryman, Charon, so he could take the person to the other side and into the underworld. Cerberus is a three-headed dog who guards the entrance to the underworld. Thor is basically sending Zeus to the underworld and tells him to greet the guard of the entrance for him while he's at it. The Norse God even calls the three-headed beast a bitch (which means female dog.) This has a second meaning: it's normal usage would mean that Thor is having secretive sex with Zeus' woman (pejoratively – bitch) and Thor is giving an under-handed insult by way of indicating familiarity with her, but making it sound like a polite salutation.)
You've never been to war with the likes of Thor before!
(Thor enters warning Zeus that he's unlike anything Zeus had battled before.)
The Oracle should have warned you of the blood and gore!
(The Oracle is a future-seer in Greek mythology. Thor mentions that the Oracle should've told Zeus that he would've been horribly maimed when confronting Thor.)
You tongue kiss your sister and consort with Gorgons!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You tongue kiss your sister! That's grosser than a Gorgon!")
You're ruthless to humans, I'm pooching on this God of the douches,
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're ruthless to humans, your crew is like clash of the douches!")
And when we're through with this your hubris will send you to Hades!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades!" Thor implies that Zeus' pride will get him sent to hell.)
So make like your daddy and swallow my babies.
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Now make like your daddy and swallow my babies!")
I'm the father of the Gods, Barbie, mind your manners!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm the father of the gods! Put your daddy on the phone!" Zeus calls Thor "Barbie" because of his exaggeratedly muscled body being similar to the impossibly perfect body of Barbie and because of his long blond hair.)
Odin can't touch this, let alone MC Hammer!
(A reference to MC Hammer's hit rap song "U Can't Touch This." Zeus boasts his dominance over the main god of Norse mythology, Odin, and mentions that his son, jokingly called MC Hammer due to Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, also can't defeat him.)
Flip more middle fingers at you than a hundred-hander!
(Hekatonkheires are known as "the Hundred-Handed Ones," and are giants from Greek mythology known for their large amount of arms. Zeus says that he disrespects Thor more than if one of the hekatonkheires used every one of his hands to show Thor their middle fingers.)
Take your little tool away, you're just a blond Bruce Banner!
(If Thor was without Mjölnir he would be incapable of producing thunder and lightning, and would be deemed inferior and weak. Zeus compares this to Bruce Banner, also known as the Hulk, another member of the superhero team the Avengers with Thor, who is only strong in his Hulk form and is a weaker human in Banner form.)
I'm Olympic gold standard, on point like a trident!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm on point like Poseidon's trident!" The Olympic games were an Ancient Greek festival that took place in Olympia in which participates would compete in athletic, musical, and literary events. In modern day, the Olympic Games became an official sporting event in which athletic representatives from over two hundred countries would compete, the winner typically receiving a gold medal. Zeus praises his having of "Olympic gold," the best of the best, as his normal standards, insinuating that he always aims for perfection.)
Drop science colder than the frosty balls of your giants!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants!" Ancient Greece is known as the birthplace of many intellectual subjects, including philosophy and science.)
Poseidon couldn't fathom the depth of your thickness!
(To be thick means to be dumb or stupid. Poseidon is the God of the sea in Greek mythology. A fathom is a nautical unit of measurement equivalent to six feet and also means to understand a difficult concept. Even someone like Poseidon, skilled with the depth of the ocean, can't figure out the depth of how stupid someone like Thor could be.)
I bask in the sun, you chose the land of Christmas!
(Norway is a very cold land (exaggerated as "the land of Christmas"), and in comparison Greece is much warmer and easier to live in.)
"But I have to save the mortals!" Ech! Blow me.
(Zeus mocks Thor's more protective attitudes toward mortal man, mimicking Thor in a feminine voice and telling Thor to perform oral sex on him.)
I'll be boozing on some ouzo at the beach with Loki!
(Ouzo is a Greek liquor. To booze means to partake in the drinking of alcohol. Loki is an evil and mischievous Norse god and a villain to Thor in Marvel Comics. Zeus brags that he'd rather chill with Thor's enemy who doesn't care for the safety of mortal men similarly to him rather than go out and protect them, calling Thor lame for doing the opposite.)
There's a 100 percent chance in the weather forecast
(Zeus, being the God of Thunder, has control over the weather, and can make thunderstorms inevitably when he wants. Zeus humorously presents this as a weather forecast.)
Of Zeus raining wrath down upon Thor's ass!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "Let this sink in: I'm about to rain on your parade!" This could also be a reference to the movie Wrath of the Titans.)
You look miserable, old, and fat.
(Thor insults the popular image of the Greek gods being portrayed as large, old, and angry.)
And you grope so many maids you surely have the thunderclap!
(Thor implies that, due to Zeus's multiple sexual affairs, he must've collected at least one or two sexually transmitted diseases, specifically gonorrhea, also known as "the clap". This is a pun on a clap of thunder, the sound thunder, which can be created by Thor and Zeus, gives.)
It's the swan song for your bullshit, with Leda and Europa!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm a bull getting bitches with my swan schlong!" Leda was the queen of Sparta seduced by Zeus in his swan form. Europa was the princess of Tyre courted by Zeus in his bull form.)
You shape-shifting rapist, keep your dick inside your toga!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyrics, "Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist!", and "I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like 'Opa!'")
It's over, I'll smash you like an ogre!
(Thor is known to have feuds with the Jötnar, a race of ogre-like giants in Norse mythology. He is also the lover of Járnsaxa, a jötunn, in this case "smash" being a euphemism for sexual intercourse.)
Thor's a mighty soldier, you're a poor carbon copy, only older.
(Thor brags his valiance when compared to Zeus, calling him a cheap, old rip-off.)
You call yourself mighty but you're not to my liking,
(Thor is referred to as "The Mighty Thor" in Marvel Comics. Zeus mentions that despite this, he doesn't care much for him.)
So I'll strike this weak Viking twice with greased lightning!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "MC Hammer just got struck twice by greased lightning!" The Vikings were Scandinavian explorers of the same culture as Norse mythology, known as being very strong and masculine, making Thor being weak a diss based on cultural dishonor.)
This blond shit talker is soft as Betty Crocker!
(Zeus calls Thor out for his bark being worse than his bite, being able to talk smack but not being able to physically fight well. Betty Crocker is a fictional character used in advertising campaigns for food and recipes.)
I scarred Harry Potter, gave Ben Franklin the shocker!
(Harry Potter is known for his lightning-bolt-shaped scar on his forehead, and Ben Franklin is known for having captured electricity by going out in a thunderstorm with a kite and a key as a conductor and getting struck by lightning. Zeus boasts having accomplished both of these events.)
I'm a stone cut stud like I stared down a Gorgon,
(A stone-cut stud is a very strong, muscled man. This is used as a pun, as if Thor had looked in the eyes of a Gorgon he would've turned to stone.)
Got the thunder down under nailing Natalie Portman!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "I'm the thunder down under nailing Natalie Portman!")
You're ruthless to humans, the truth is you're God of douches!
(This lyric is what developed into the lyric, "You're ruthless to humans! Your crew is like the clash of the douches!")
I am the alpha and the O, mega!
(Alpha and omega are the first and last letters in the Greek alphabet, respectively. This phrase is associated with Jesus Christ, and essentially means that the proclaimer is an eternal, all-powerful being, just as Zeus is.)
You're Thor skinned dick cheddar, smegma!
(Smegma is a cheese-like substance that appears on the foreskin (Thor-skin being a pun of this). Zeus calls Thor nothing compared to him.)
Conquer the cloud-cold Nectar? Never!
(Nectar is a beverage of the Greek gods. Zeus is the God of the sky, hence he's "cloud-cold." Zeus boasts that Thor cannot defeat him.)
Without the Avengers, you would never be remembered!
(Thor is a major member of Marvel Comic's superhero group, the Avengers. Zeus states that the only reason people remember Thor at all is simply because of this superhero team.)